Tonight to greet the audience, which always happens before the show goes to tape, which is what you just saw.
Everybody stood up except one lone young woman.
She was conspicuous.
In fact, there she is even now.
She was conspicuous by uh you know being the only one to remain seated, thereby identifying herself as a liberal and somebody who'd been dragged here against her wishes.
It was then stated by her brother who sitted right there that she couldn't speak English, and I can say anything in the world I want.
That tells me she's a member of the press and is taking notes.
Okay, uh how could you I didn't know we were gonna make fun of Chevy in the open of the show.
Chevy Chase, he's hey, Chevy, you're still hostage, pal, even though you got out from under the TV show.
I I want to uh show you something Chevy said.
When was this, Dick?
Was this back in February?
Where was this?
Sometimes February.
It's I knew it.
I didn't even have to ask.
On Good Morning America, here is Chevy Chase describing what's gonna happen, what he's gonna do uh when his show began in September.
But this year you're starting a talk show.
That's right.
It's gonna be talk from the beginning to the end.
We're gonna make Rush Limbaugh look mute.
I'm just going to talk and just keep talking.
Newsflash, Generalissimo Francisco Franco and Chevy Chase are still dead.
Thank you.
You can do one of two things.
You can sit back and be a punching bag, or you can fight back and stay on offense, which is what I choose to do.
By the way, a golden opportunity for those of you who would like to see this show at an earlier time now, you know what to do.
Call those stations where Chevy's show Chevy.
Chevy's show used to be and let them know because you know, I you can sit around, you let people make up their own minds, or you can try to make up their minds for them by showing what you want, and uh I would advocate the latter course.
I got an interesting piece of mail.
Dear Mr. Limbaugh, this came to my editor uh to the editor of my uh Limbaugh letter newsletter, a few weeks ago my wife and I were on an aeroplot flight from Helsinki to Moscow, along with members of the Choral Arts Society of Washington.
We were on our way to join with the National Symphony Orchestra of Washington under Mistislav Rostropovich to perform an unprecedented concert in Red Square on Sunday, September 26th.
And in the seat back in front of us, they had a copy of a Soviet newspaper.
And I picked up and looked at it, and here's what it was, Mr. Limbaugh.
It's a copy of your U.S. News and World Report cover story in Russian.
And that's it, folks.
It's a picture of me.
You get do we have a close-up of that just to show them what we don't?
Well, that's here, come in close on this.
Come in very tight on this.
This is it.
I'm holding it here, and you can see that that is all in Russian.
So my friends, our era and area of dominant influence continue to just spread, not just to the domestic areas of the United States, but in fact, all around the world.
Thank you.
That I mean, absolute best thing could ever happen to the Russian people besides Yeltsin is for more if I mean if if get my radio show on the air over there, get it translated every day, and those people shape up inside of two weeks.
Uh now, you were last year, la last year or last week, we did a uh a little bit here explaining to you how after the president claimed that there had been a million jobs created in his 10 months so far, and that they used September's figures, I think of 156,000 jobs created.
We went through all of this and pointed out to you that of those 156,000 jobs, only 12,000 were real or private sector jobs, 70,000 of them were government jobs, and 74,000 of the 156,000 were bias factor jobs.
Now, a bias factor job, as defined by the labor department, simply means that the labor department was guessing that someone was hired, but they couldn't prove it.
Well we decided, ladies and gentlemen, to start computing the audience to this show in that same fashion.
And so here's here's our actual rating.
And I want to point this.
Our rating is a 3.7.
Now each household is 942, or each rating point is 942,000 homes.
So you multiply that 3.7 times uh 942,000, you get our audience in terms of households on the right.
Now, that 37 is two tenths of a point behind the tonight show.
We are uh now in fourth place.
You've got Letterman, Nightline, Leno, and then us.
We're very close.
We have computed a bias factor here of 1.8.
We have we assume we assume that there are about 1,700,000 homes that also watch this show that are not being discovered.
We also figure that in colleges, dormitories, and bars, we have a.4 rating out there, we're guessing.
gives us 385 000 for a total of a 5.9 which ties us with the david letterman show on on cbs Two more things in our first segment.
We continue to uh update you on health care, and I've always uh promised to keep you on the cutting edge of societal evolution where this is concerned.
Page, by the way, this is the president's uh book.
Everybody says they can't find the health care plan.
They call members of Congress camp.
There it is.
It's the New York Times has published this thing with an introduction by Eric Eckholm of the New York Times.
He's their uh health editor.
It costs eight bucks, and when you hear people saying it's on page 68 or page 225 or whatever, it's out of this book.
Now, if you turn to page 68, there is a little paragraph here that for my money, in my mind.
This paragraph means all the rest of this book is irrelevant.
Here is that paragraph.
A provider, that means a doctor, may not charge or collect from a patient, that's you.
A fee, that's money, in excess of the fee schedule adopted by an alliance.
That's one of these little collectives, you know, that the government's gonna mandate steps states set up uh to negotiate uh uh insurance premiums.
A plan and its participants are not legally responsible for payment of any amount in excess of the allowable charge.
What all this means is if a provider can't charge or collect from a patient, they can go ahead and tell you all day long that you can choose your own doctor, but it's irrelevant because your doctor's not gonna be there because he's not gonna be able to charge a fee that will recoup his costs for seeing you.
These are price controls.
This is the good old-fashioned price control, which causes two things to happen, and history always is taught this.
You put prices uh under control, the first thing that goes is quality.
As the provider attempts to maintain his profit margin, the second thing's to go uh are supply.
You're gonna have shortages and less quality, and all of the rest of this is simply irrelevant.
That one paragraph puts the lie to everything they've said about this.
You watch.
I mean, this is this is a a crucial aspect of it, and I'm uh happy to be able to point it out.
This is a last-minute edition.
My assistant, the trustee H.R. Kit Carson's reading his copy of Newsweek right before the show.
The cover sexual correctness.
I don't know about you, but folks, sometimes it's getting tough, uh tougher and tougher to maintain good cheer, a positive outlook.
Sometimes you look at stuff, you read stuff, just uh hell with it.
Heck with it.
I'm leaving.
I'm uh we're losing.
It's not possible to make sense at all in our society anymore.
I mean, this really, I mean, it's this just has me.
I don't know what to say about it.
I I there's a woman named uh Moss, uh, Mary Pete Coss, actually, professor.
She's teaching people uh of psychology at the University of Arizona.
She's just written a survey uh uh entitled The Scope of Rape.
Here's her philosophy.
This is so the law punishes the drunk driver who kills a pedestrian.
And likewise, the law needs to be there to protect the drunk woman from the driver of the penis.
It's over.
You know, it's I mean, it's I mean, we really we're really being governed by the sheer stupid idiots in our side.
They're in control of our Institutions.
And this is Newsweek.
This is considered news by Newsweek.
This this stuff has just been given creditation, validation.
And sometimes you read this stuff and say, oh man, I gotta get going, man.
We got more ground to cover.
And sometimes you read this stuff and say, it's over.
I mean, we're not I'm in the middle.
We've got to take a break.
Back with Haiti.
Why are we there?
After we get back.
Welcome back.
Thank you.
Okay, why why are we in Haiti?
I'm gonna give you the answer in just a moment, but I want you to ask yourself a question.
Uh ask yourself if you think we're in Haiti, because somebody in charge, whoever it may be, thinks we're doing the right thing.
I guarantee you, whatever you think the right thing is, that's not why we're in Haiti.
We had a series of clips from opinion makers, from news leaders, who are going to weigh in on this crisis.
First off is the uh Reverend Jackson, who um is back to a bunch of mumbo jumbo gobbledygook.
Follow it if you can.
You have an obligation to move.
I think first using surgical sanctions.
Freeze their assets, uh, stop their travel, uh, and stop the flow of oil.
That's the first step.
Now the but that does not work finally, based upon the pool of drugs there, well documented by DEA.
We pull Maliega out on that basis.
A denial of basic freedom we we we drove uh uh uh Hussein out on that basis so we can be, we can have no less resolve to free Haiti than we did to try it to stop drugs coming out of Panama off the free Kuwait.
He's comparing this to Kuwait.
I mean I uh I didn't know that Haiti was uh one of the stopping off points for the drug trade.
That's that's uh new to me.
Uh uh this is all mumbo jumbo.
The only reason he wants to go down there, my friends, is because these guys have have succeeded here in making Haiti the latest members of the black victim class, and that's what Jackson wants to make every black member of the human race, because that's how he gets his powers by making them all victims, and he comes in as their savior.
Now, here's Charles Wrangle.
He's a member of the Congressional Black Caucus, that's key to understand here.
He's from New York.
Uh, and listen to this brilliant philosophy about how to deal with these thugs down in Haiti.
Watch this.
Responsibility takes risk.
You don't stop bullies and thugs just through diplomatic uh initiatives.
Whoa, wait just a moment.
How did you suggest we ever deal with the Soviet Union, Congressman?
The last thing you wanted was military force.
You wanted diplomacy.
I mean, this this the the hypocrisy here.
I mean, how about Panama?
How about Nicaragua?
What about Somalia?
All these do you guys, you guys are sitting there saying that we've we've uh we've got to have diplomatic solution in Somalia, we've got to have a diplomatic solution in Nicaragua, we can't send troops down there, can't now you want to send in the troops, huh?
It's really great when it's one of your causes.
Here is the chairman of the Congressional Black Caucus, squeezy Imfume, uh, explaining his view on why we're there.
What's uh has been very prudent and wise in his approach, his actions have been measured.
It's clear that unless this nation prepares to at least try to enforce the economic sanctions that no one else will.
Fortunately, Argentina has decided to join the blockade, and what we're seeing are measured steps to try to force the outlaw regime in Haiti to back down.
The only thing that has ever caused them to move from their position has been the imposition of sanctions.
These sanctions, uh, with all due respect to the senator, are aimed at the military, not necessarily the little people.
All right, I'm gonna drive my pointer here over to the map.
I want to show you something.
That's for that stupid psychologist, University of Arizona.
This is Haiti, right here.
This is the island on which Haiti is.
This is his spinolia.
Our six ships, the by the way, the blockade.
That's a military term.
That's a declaration of war.
I'm sure he didn't mean that.
Our, by the way, right here, this is the Vuelta Abajo.
This is where the best cigar tobacco in the world made.
Now, here, we're running short of time.
We got our six ships stationed somewhere.
We got two here, we got two here and two here.
And they're talking about a successful blockade.
Do you know how you get to uh the Dominican Republic?
Or to Haiti, you simply take your ship and you dock it here in the Dominican Republic.
I've been there, it's easy.
And you just simply cross the border.
You go overland.
It's not gonna work.
It's all a bunch of let me show you what this is really all about.
Put this clip up in the Mary McGrawy column, if you would, Chad.
I want you to read along with me here on the screen.
This is Clinton talking about how to deal the congressional black caucus.
I can't give them back their social programs.
I just don't have the money, but I can give them back Haiti.
That's what this is all about.
He needs the votes of the Congressional Black Caucus on health care and a bunch of other domestic issues.
And if he lets them do whatever they want to do in Haiti and make them feel like they're having some power and and having some impact there, then he thinks he's buying their votes later on.
This is not about doing the right thing for foreign policy.
This is not about America's vital interests.
It's all about trying to appease the Congressional Black Caucus.
There.
I've said it.
Somebody needs to sit.
We'll be back.
We'll be back.
Here we go.
Okay.
Now, I'm gonna show you what ought to be done in Haiti.
In essence, we need to spread capitalism down there real fast.
That's the thing we need to do.
We also need to do more of that in the United States.
Here's the Reverend Jackson.
One more time.
There's no urban policy.
We supported uh an investment policy because of an investment deficit.
There's virtually no investment policy.
What was to be an economic stimulus is now an economic hemorrhage of losing more blue chip jobs, and then a reinvest reinvent government, losing more government jobs.
Now NAFTA, a plan to put the grease in the tractor fast track, more jobs out.
So what we see is plants closing, jobs leaving, tax-based eroding and school system traumatized.
And the urban policy is what?
More jails and more police rather than more teachers and more plants.
No, Reverend Jackson, we need more jails, and we need more police fast because guys like you are misleading people that you're in charge of.
Now I want to talk to people.
No, hold on.
I I've he's not telling you the truth about black America, and I'm going to.
Anybody ever heard of Black Expo USA?
It's a traveling road show put together, five years old.
It's attracted crowds of 100,000 in New York, 55,000 to Los Angeles, 20,000 uh in Charlotte this weekend are expected.
And it's about it's black businessmen businessmen running around saying, here's what we are, here's who we are, here's and here are some stats.
Not from the labor department, not from the Treasury Department, Black Expo, Black businessmen put these stats out from the 80s.
Watch.
Number of African Americans with four more years of college doubled during the 80s from one to two million.
The number of African American families with annual incomes of $50,000 or more increased by more than 50% during the 80s.
The uh number of African Americans in managerial and profession, uh professional specialty occupations, grew from 1.3 million in 83 to nearly two million in 1991.
It's a 50% gain in eight years, the dreaded 80s.
And African American consumer households spend more than 300 billion dollars annually.
My friends, we need more of this.
We need A, the truth about this, getting out to more and more people, and we need this kind of thing in Haiti.
And you need a moral underpinning and a solid foundation of the rule of law before you can impose democracy anywhere.
Now, something I'm not gonna have time to show you, but I will later.
Uh some stats on the poor.
Maybe we can run through them real quick.
Uh follow these and read along with me.
This is who the poor is.
Robert Rector, Heritage Foundation in uh Washington put together a survey of the poor.
Forty percent own their own homes.
Next one.
70,000 of poor people's houses worth more than 300,000.
Next one.
More than 60% of the poor households own a car, even more than air conditioning microwave elements.
Next one.
Some 15% of poor households have two cars.
Next one.
Poor Americans live in larger houses or apartments, eat more meat, and are more likely to own cars and dishwashers than the general population in Western Europe.
That's how bad poverty is in America.
Reverend Jackson, you're irrelevant.
We'll be back after this.
Hi, friends.
Thank you.
Welcome back to Russ Limpaw, the television show.
We've got a video for you.
You know our song Wound of the Tomb to describe the Clinton health care plan.
We've got a video, and we want you to watch it.
Here it is.
Are you ready?
We might soon be missing some of the benefits that health care now provides.
Hey, now let's begin.
New health care plan with a liberal spin.
Say hell to the chief and misses Chiefette.
Partners in crime on the national deck.
The wrong deals cooking.
It's out of control.
Put your hand out now.
Clinton's on a roll.
These four words mean you're taking care of.
Woom to the tomb.
Hit me.
Boom, two that tomb.
Free help.
Oh, he'll be to the two.
We're saying to the tomb by cigarette.
Woom, do the tomb.
No payment.
Woom to the tomb.
Oh man.
Crisis.
Just stop it.
Quick health care report.
I'm gonna heal the sick.
Don't pay for them till a couple Sam's gonna get it.