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Sept. 23, 1992 - Rush Limbaugh Program
20:47
19920923_S01E04
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Time Text
Yeah, what?
What?
Well, this uh lady from People called, they're gonna try to put the uh story to bed tonight, and I gotta check a couple facts.
Now she she said it's gotta happen tonight, and this is people uh magazine's doing a story uh on me and this show, folks, and uh what they do, they they interview you, and then they have somebody call back and check the facts uh as their reporter has written a story.
So it's just five quick.
All right, all right.
Okay, did you flunk speech twice?
Once.
I flunked speech one time because they said that I didn't outline the speeches.
Now make sure you tell them that.
Because I mean uh I did the speeches flawlessly.
That's one of the problems I had with school.
I should have called his course outline 101, not speech one.
I did the speech as flawless.
Okay, okay.
And uh how tall are you?
5'11.
How much do you weigh?
At 187, okay.
Do you cook?
Uh I don't think there's that.
This is a trick because they didn't ask me that.
Well, just put in there, no, I'm a man, I'm a man, I do not cook.
Just tell them.
Just tell them.
Okay, uh, and if you could be a tree, what would it be?
One that falls on Jimmy Carter's house.
I don't know.
To make it make it make it make it a tree that creates smog.
What was it?
A cottonwood or carrot carrotwood, carrotwood.
Because trees do produce smog.
If they tell you, tell them to research that because it's absolutely true.
Okay, thank you.
All right, sorry.
Okay.
That was my uh chief of staff, um Kit Carson.
Can I just camera here, please give it a cross up front?
Thank you.
Uh, my friends, I would like to uh explain what has been going on, uh been going on behind me.
As you know, and and and you people know who you are who've been complaining, a lot of people, even though they love this show, have said the blue background looks cheap.
It looks unbefitting of the image of this show.
A liberal painted the blue.
What are we supposed to do?
Is supposed to sit here and and just routinely hurt this guy's feelings every night by criticizing the blue.
We wanted to give the blue a chance.
We wanted to see if the complaints kept coming in, and they did, and I knew they would because I thought this blue was horrible from the first time I saw it.
I thought, I mean, it looks like romper room here, and I wanted to change it.
I want something a little richer and a little bit uh a little bit more glamorous.
So uh we've got a new painter in here, and he's surveying the situation.
You can see we get the chairs uh draped in case any paint gets anything, and we're just gonna do this right in front of you just to show that we are concerned about your concerns, but I want I want you to remember that the uh the guy who painted this right off the bat uh was a liberal and we tried to spare his feelings.
Now there's one other thing.
As you know, I seldom talk about myself.
I I've I am I'm a guy who tries to stay focused on the issues, but there comes a time when you have to stand up for yourself.
Now look at this picture.
This is a picture of me taking two days ago with the president of the United States.
I am pointing something out to the president, it's my hand right down there, but we've cropped the picture because this picture is one that ran in newspapers all across the fruited plain.
From this picture, a caricaturist for the New York Post, who I think based on this is talentless, drew this caricature of me.
Now, as you can see, this looks nothing like this.
You can see my jawline, you can see the evidence that I have shed considerable weight.
In I have never looked like this.
At my largest, I never looked like this.
This will not do.
We have flown in from Westchester County in New York at this show's expense.
One of the most talented caricaturists in the country, a guy named Russ Harvey.
Russ, come on in.
I want you to sit down.
I want to just come on in.
Come on in.
Have a seat.
Right.
Have a seat right there.
Is that my good side?
Whatever your good side is the show, find it.
Now you see, you see this, you see this picture.
Looks like Larry Flint.
And you see, and you Larry Flint.
And you see me.
Now look that's what it looks like.
Well, it does, uh now that you mention it.
Now, the the the question though is you're a caricaturist, right?
Yeah.
Do you do political caricatures?
Yes, you do.
What is this guy's point?
Is this guy trying to make a political statement of his opinion of me?
Is this media bias or is this just no talent?
Is this just a lousy caricature?
I think he has a hooted owl cousin or something.
A hooted owl cousin.
Well, what what what was it?
Is this is it is it is it uh bias, or is it is it just and is it in.
You know, I I think I don't think that he had your best interest in mind there.
That's what I thought, and that's why we've brought you in.
We want you to do a good caricature during this program.
You've agreed to do it, easel is set up right over there, and as this show goes on, you're gonna do a caricature of me.
And at the end of the show, if we have time, we'll show your work.
If it's better than that, we'll send it to the New York Post and say you should hire you.
I've already told him that.
Okay, very good.
Rest of tonight's show.
Henry Kissinger has said about all that can be said on this missing in action controversy, folks, and we'll share with you tonight what he said, Ross Perot and the grave danger posed by his potential return to the presidential race.
And we have tonight a slick willy update.
We'll introduce all of these things to you and paint the set when we come back.
We will.
Megadito is Rush from Miss Oregon, Sarah Christie Fawlton.
Hello from Atlantic City, and my parents and family and friends all listen to you daily.
I love your show.
We'd like to congratulate you.
Ah, that, ladies and gentlemen, is just another shining example of what it's like to be me.
Now, we have prepared for you.
We've been introducing little elements here every night this week.
Some of them have been works in progress.
I am happy to.
Could you Joe, could you keep it just a little quiet over there?
I mean, I know you gotta do your job, but I mean I hear this squeaking and stuff is distracting.
What color are you painting?
And it can I check and see what you would you paint us, paint paint something just so I can see.
Can we get a shot of this color?
Would you guys mind if I It might squake?
That's all right since I'm over here.
Oh, over here.
Okay, all right.
All right, now now that way, let me go to the monitor.
Let me go to the monitor.
Put up put it put it up here where I can see it.
So I'm watching at home, which is actually what I'm doing.
Put on a big monitor here.
Turner, can you can you can you put it on that mic?
Can you put that swatch of the wall on that monitor?
You think that's dark enough, folks?
You think that's dark enough?
We'll give it a shot.
I mean, we'll do whatever it takes to erase the mistake of a liberal painter.
Now, Joe, if you can keep it quiet over there, I'd appreciate it.
I appreciate I know you're gonna do your job.
Okay, thank you.
You bet we got it.
I didn't have anything.
Looks good.
Okay.
As I was saying, we have a work of art finished, not in progress.
The feminist update that we've been showing you the past couple nights in progress.
Ladies and gentlemen, tonight on Rush Limbaugh the television show, we would like you to watch our slick willy update theme with video.
Go ahead, Turner, and hit it.
Here comes now.
Billy boy, Billy boy, can you blow your saxophone, John and Billy?
Billy, Billy, Billy.
I blow my saxophone.
But sometimes I blew it wrong.
But I'm a young man and I can be my mother.
Did you see Hillary in that picture?
Billy Boy.
Back and forth.
Can't make up his mind which way he wants to go.
Keep showing that.
Keep showing.
See, there he is, folks.
That's what it looks like when Bill Clinton gets close to a selective service officer.
Just keeps going.
Look at this.
Keep this.
Keep it going.
Just show you what happens.
The traffic goes backwards, everything goes backwards.
This is symbolic of what the country will be doing if you people make the mistake of electing this.
Oh, there you have it.
Now, now this is not a pleasant task.
This is not something that I relish.
Not something I look forward to.
My friends, it is time for Horrible.
Disastrous economic news.
I like to keep this show on an upbeat tone, but it's not possible with the news that hits this week.
Housing starts.
See that arrow?
Can you read that, ladies and gentlemen?
Housing starts are up 10.4%.
Let me give you the details here.
In the last 18 months, the month of August, 1992, was the single biggest month for new home building in the United States of America.
Now, I don't know who you people out there are who are building homes, but if I were you, I would be ashamed.
Don't you know that this is a country in economic malaise?
Everybody's worried about the future.
We're told that people have no confidence that they're going to have a job tomorrow, and you're out there building houses.
Where are you getting the money to do this?
Who is building these houses for you?
And what funds are being used to do this?
And what are the quality of these houses that are being built with ever whoever you're hiring to build these homes?
Now, I want to know how can this be?
How can these figures be so positive when everything's so negative?
I swear, I think you're supposed to be understanding of all the pain and suffering that exists in the country today.
You people are out there building houses and buying homes.
I think my friends that you ought to be a little bit more understanding and compassionate of your fellow man.
You're probably building big houses too.
I'll bet you some of you are building houses with more than one car for a garage, or one uh one car garage homes.
Uh that means you must have more than one car, too.
I don't know where you're getting the money, but clearly it can't be from anything you're doing in this country, because this country is out of opportunity, right?
Well, you never hear the good news, but you do on this show if we present it to you uh, nevertheless, in a uh kind of skewed way to make our point.
Now we also have a viewer video that we wanted to tie in with this segment here before we close it out.
As you know, we let you send in video viewers to us or video questions to us.
The way to do this is just pretend that you're making a phone call, except have your camcorder running and send it in to us.
And if they're good, if they're of sufficient video quality, we'll play them.
We'd like to play one for you now, in fact.
take a look.
Paco and I were here on this Labor Day weekend discussing the upcoming presidential election and family values.
Would you rather have Bill Clinton as your president or go to your kennel?
He said, go to your kennel.
He said, Would you rather let Clinton or go to your kennel?
Now, what's happening here?
My friends, that dog, that dog.
That dog went straight to the doghouse.
That's exactly once again where we're headed.
If you people make the mistake of electing Slick Willie.
We're gonna show you our slick willy update theme as we close out this segment.
When we come back, we've got big news.
Ross Perot, Henry Kissinger.
You stay with us right where you are.
We'll be back.
Can you go, Yo Saxon phone?
John and Billy.
I blow my saxophone, but sometimes I blow it.
Rush Limbaugh.
He doesn't need to be welcome to television.
He's already a television expert.
We've had him run McNeil Lara several times.
He's an old hand at all there.
Well, how about that?
A favorable comment from a member of the liberal media.
Okay, folks, it's time to talk about presidential politics here.
Plus, uh, well, I guess you know, in a way it is presidential politics all the way through.
First off, uh, Henry Kissinger testified before a Senate committee yesterday on uh this accusation that the United States, the Nixon administration officials particularly, purposely and with knowledge left behind American servicemen when we exited Vietnam in 1973.
And the reason why we include Ross Perot in this is that Perot has been on this bandwagon for I don't know how many years, saying that he knows people who know people who've seen servicemen alive, and that he's had all this information.
He's testified too, and he's part of this uh movement uh that's been going on for a long time that that really ends up uh toying with the uh minds of the families of these people who are uh missing in action and so forth.
And I guess uh we shouldn't now be surprised when we watch Perot tinker with his future as to just how willing he is to toy with people.
But I want to show you something interesting from Kissinger's testimony yesterday.
If we could roll that, I have a comment for you after you watch it.
Here's what Dr. Kissinger said yesterday before the Senate.
Some prisoners may.
I repeat, may, have been kept behind by our adversaries in violation of solemn commitments.
No prisoners were left behind by the deliberate act or negligent omission of American officials.
Anyone suggesting otherwise is playing a heartless game with the families of the MIS.
Now, the question has always been: did members of the Nixon administration knowingly and purposely leave American soldiers alive behind in Vietnam.
Dr. Kissinger's there just ended it.
No matter what you think, no matter what your opinion is, here is one of the highest Nixon administration officials saying nobody knowingly left live servicemen behind.
So now the onus for those who claim otherwise is to prove that whoever was in charge knowingly did it.
That's going to be a very difficult thing to do.
And I think the most salient point about this that Dr. Kissinger has made uh is that while he admits it may have happened, nobody knew it.
Now, Mr. Perot has been saying all along that he knows that there are people there.
I'll never forget this.
In 1986, uh Perot testified before a House subcommittee that was chaired by uh Stephen Solars.
And uh he said to Chairman Solars, look, you're from New York.
You're a good horse trader.
You know how to trade for horses.
You know what we want, and you know what to give to get it.
And uh Congressman Solar said, Mr. Perot, I may know how to trade horses, but the North Vietnamese say they've not they've not got anything that we want.
I mean, there's nothing to trade.
And Perot said, Oh, yes, there is.
I have friends who have seen these people.
I've got the information.
So I said, Well, bring it forward.
Let's see it.
We'll subpoena your friends.
And Perot said, No, I ain't gonna play that way.
You have to do it my way.
I'm not going to bring them forth.
They want to remain anonymous.
And Solar said, we have no choice, Mr. Perowe.
We just can't let individual citizens run around defining U.S. government policy.
So for six years, 86 to 92, till Perot's most recent testimony this summer, if he had knowledge, he sat on it.
If he knew that there were servicemen alive in Vietnam, Laos, Cambodia, wherever, and allowed them to remain in prison alive simply because the U.S. government wouldn't go about getting them out his way, then what are his real intentions?
And his real intentions are something I think it's incredibly difficult to ascertain.
He's now toying with the idea of getting back into the race.
It must mean that Bill Clinton is not doing things satisfactorily for him, because I don't care what you think, I don't think what you care Perot's motivation is, it's strictly to harm George Bush.
I want to read to you portions of his statement when he quit back on July 16th.
He said this.
Throughout this effort, we have said repeatedly that our objective is to improve our country, not disrupt the political process.
Now that the Democratic Party has revitalized itself, I have concluded that we cannot win in November, and that the election will be decided in the House of Representatives.
Well, so what's wrong with that?
That's in the Constitution, Mr. Perot.
I mean, that's exactly what's supposed to happen.
The House of Representatives is supposed to make the decision.
He goes on.
Since the House of Representatives does not pick the president until January, the new president will be unable to use the months of November and December to assemble the new government.
Hey, if our problems are so severe, we're not going to solve them in two months anyway.
Why not wait two months to get it right, Mr. Perot, if that means you being there.
And then he wants to say, I believe it would be disruptive for us to continue our program since this program would obviously put it in the House of Representatives and be disruptive to the country and the states.
So therefore, I will not become a candidate.
Then last week on C-SPAN, and every day since on any other network, he has said this.
If after we do everything we can to get the parties to face the issues, if they won't, if the volunteers said it's a dirty job, but you gotta do it, I'd love to then.
What kind of fools does he think that we are?
The volunteers have nothing to do with it.
I have told you people repeatedly, those of you who are volunteers who think that uh you're in charge of what Ross Perot does, you have been the victims of one of the greatest psychological ploys in the history of American politics.
If he gets back in this thing, it's because he wants to, and it's gonna be because not because he wants to be president, but because he wants to keep George Bush from being president.
That's all you need to know about it.
See how simple this show is.
You tune in and you learn the truth, is I'm the host.
We'll be back.
We'll discover how our caricaturist is doing with the redone version of me and whatever else happens in the time we have left.
So don't go away.
right where you are You know, we've only been on the air here, what, a week and a half, and we're already repeating bits.
The blue dot.
Well, that was the blue dot that's covering the caricature of me that uh Russ Harvey from Westchester, flown in for tonight's show, has been doing exclusively for me to counter this horrible caricature of me that appeared today in the New York Post.
I'm gonna look over my shoulder.
All right, now by the way, Russ, is this ready for me to take a look at?
It's almost as ready as you are.
All right.
All right, let's take a look at this.
Now, it's in color.
Look at that.
It's okay.
We get a uh close-up of this uh Turner moving in.
I think that this, my friend, I think we'll all have to agree here.
This is absolutely a 150% improvement over what was in the New York Post today.
That's absolutely even even smiley.
You got the chin and neck, I mean, that it's absolutely flawless.
Tremendous job.
Thank you so much for coming in and doing that.
We're gonna send that.
We're gonna send that to the New York Post.
You can I tell you a funny story.
Right before we went on the air tonight, the caricatures for the New York Post, because I've I've talked about this a little bit on the radio today.
I didn't describe it in great detail.
I just said that uh we're gonna show you this on on uh television tonight.
And uh the guy said, Hey, hey, I love you.
I'm a ditto head, I'm a big fan.
Let me do it again.
You blew it, pal.
You got your one shot.
And I mean, uh, it's it's uh you you do this stuff every day, and uh we wanted to get it right, and and so we have thanks very much, Russ.
Appreciate you doing it.
Now, what do we have coming up on tomorrow's show?
We really don't know because the news tomorrow has fucking uh small turn.
Joe, I'm hosting a television show here, one of the hottest television shows in the country.
What do you think?
I need help.
What do you need?
What do you need?
This desk out of the way, sir.
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