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June 10, 2021 - Raging Dissident

01:46:18

HOUSE ARREST ep 15 - Dr Rage Mental Un-Health

Everybody's hurting these days.Website: https://ragingdissident.tvTelegram: https://t.me/ragingdissident Instagram: https://instagram.com/jmack674 Linktree: https://linktr.ee/ragingdissident

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Time	Text
	It's not over.
	I wish it was.
	It's uh said my alarm.
	It'll turn off on its own.
	Can you guys hear that?
	Shut up!
	Ah, Christ.
	There's always something, you know?
	I forgot to hit the record button.
	Well, I gotta get up and get this.
	Others are gonna suffer this horrible fucking tune here for the next Jesus Christ.
	My bad.
	Hang on.
	No one loves you!
	Nobody ever did.
	No one ever should.
	Sorry.
	My bad.
	Yeah, anyway.
	Yeah, that was me.
	Stupid phone warm.
	Good morning.
	I like circus music.
	It sets the omby on sacris.
	How you doing, Pumpkin Launcher?
	Morning, my fellow crazy nights.
	Thank you, sir.
	Sergeant Barris is welcome back.
	Listening from the gym.
	Nice.
	Fuck you make me.
	Pumpkin again says, you see Commi Rempel's tweet pandering to anti-hate.
	What a filthy snitch.
	Yeah, the entire CPC is a joke.
	I mean, they're communists, right?
	Obviously, she's a she-her now.
	She's using pronouns and talking about white privilege.
	This is the Conservative Party of Canada, right?
	We don't have, there is no opposition.
	It's a there just isn't one.
	That's a heavy.
	That's a heavy thing to think about.
	There's literally no one in the government on our side at all anywhere.
	There is no nationalist people left.
	There's no pro-Canada left anywhere.
	None.
	Zero.
	They're all in bed with the Chinese.
	And worse than other people, bankers, corporations, whoever, it's just, you know, get yours.
	They're just there to get theirs at everyone else's expense.
	And, you know, kick the can down the road.
	It'll be someone else's problem.
	And, you know, if a day ever comes where people, you know, get fed up enough that they decide somebody's got to pay for the nightmare we live in now.
	And then they lynch these people.
	The irony and the sad part of it is a lot of the people responsible will have been long gone by then.
	You know, like Pierre Trudeau has been dead and gone for a long time.
	Did he pay for any of his crimes?
	Nope.
	Stephen Harper going to answer for any of the shit that he did.
	Selling us out to China.
	FIPA agreement.
	Nope.
	Nope.
	It'll just be whoever's there that day.
	You know, it might not even be Justin Trudeau.
	He'll be long gone maybe 15 years from now.
	He's long gone.
	Living on an island somewhere.
	Evidence violates T.I. Your channel got nuked.
	Everybody's channels get nuked.
	This is my second one.
	I'll be on a third one here soon, I'm sure.
	You know, I think they've just stopped bothering because they're just collecting evidence at this point.
	It is what it is.
	Anyway, so there's Pumpkin again with another one.
	Hey, he says, hello.
	I'd like to address several reports coming from Canadians reporting to us as having seen six unmarked C-5 aircrafts arriving yesterday.
	Don't worry, I'm fully aware of them.
	They're in Canada as a result of my written request.
	You requesting C5s are you?
	Nice.
	So let's see here.
	I don't want to do this.
	Yeah, these are the ones.
	I usually just talk here and hang out in the morning.
	And I don't really like to get into this stuff too much.
	Not never.
	You know, I've always been kind of an open book of a person, and I think that's important if you're doing what I'm doing to an extent.
	You know what I mean?
	I'm not going to give you every single detail of my personal life or anything like that because it's just not good for you or anyone.
	And it's kind of bordering on narcissism, you know, or something like anybody cares.
	You know what I mean?
	On the other hand, I think it's also important to recognize just how difficult and sick and abnormal that this, what we're living in really is.
	This isn't...
	There's nothing normal about this at all.
	So it's mental unhealth time, you know?
	And I don't want to be one of these guys, you know, a lot of them do it, right?
	Let's talk, okay, let's talk about mental health right now, guys.
	Let's talk.
	It's the fuck.
	What do you mean, like, let's now?
	Like you always do.
	This is all you fucking do, you know?
	And so just some background for, you know, some of you new people.
	For some of you new people.
	Was that Starship Troopers?
	For you new people.
	I only got one rule.
	Everybody fights.
	Nobody quits.
	Or I'll shoot you myself.
	I was in the military a long time, 14 years or so, exploited overseas, etc.
	I have mefloquin poisoning.
	It's basically brain damage.
	Melted my brainstem from this lovely malaria medication the military forces to take and told it.
	Don't worry, it's very safe.
	Trust the science.
	Does that sound familiar?
	Mefloquin larium, I think was the brand name.
	And we had to take that pill once a week.
	There was another one you could take every day, but obviously being in the infantry, you're going to carry as little stuff as possible.
	You're not going to take extra shit.
	And every day, you got so much stuff to remember.
	There's so many Things rattled around your head all day.
	When's the last time I cycled my mags?
	Do I need new batteries?
	Do I have enough water?
	Did I fill my water?
	You know, your brain's just always non-stop going around.
	NVGs need to do better.
	You know, it's just, where's all my shit?
	You know, you're constantly just, you have so much shit you're carrying.
	Like, I'm not kidding.
	20% of your day as an infantryman is going, do I still have all my shit?
	Looking for your shit.
	Do I have my shit?
	Okay, I got all my shit.
	20 minutes later, did I lose something?
	I don't know.
	That's, you know, that's your life.
	So you're not going to carry extra.
	So everybody took these pills and turns out they lied and they didn't do any follow-up like they were supposed to.
	They didn't brief us.
	They didn't tell us about the side effects.
	Again, sound familiar.
	And the pills melt holes in your brainstem and basically give you moderate to severe like PTSD symptoms.
	So now we have a whole generation of guys diagnosed as having PTSD.
	Do they?
	Don't they?
	I don't know, but they're fucking not healthy.
	So there's that.
	I have some traumatic brain injury.
	Fucking shit for being blown up and crashed a snowmobile in the woods once in Petawawa going 120 or 110.
	I don't know.
	Some illegal speed.
	Good knock on the head.
	I had a Chinese RPG-7 blow up next to my face, six or seven meters away.
	I had a decent concussion from that, I think.
	Ear still ringing to this day.
	You know, they told me that'll go away after a couple days.
	It literally never stopped.
	It's just be and it's been like that ever since.
	My left ear is like that.
	I'm legally deaf in my left ear.
	I used to have a hearing aid.
	I lost it on the plane here coming to Saskatchewan once.
	I don't know.
	I haven't bothered to get another one.
	I used to play with it on the stream and be like, look at me, I'm an old man.
	But it's gone now.
	I don't know.
	I should get it back.
	I should get it back.
	So anyway, you know, and plus all the mental stress and aging that happens, which is being in the infantry, is very real.
	You know, the rates of illness and a lot of issues, I think, is over double the civilian counterparts.
	So you're twice as likely to contract a severe mental illness or debilitating condition or something in the military as you are out of the military.
	They don't tell you about that when you join, but that's a fact.
	Obviously, the suicide rate and everything.
	I know five guys just since last year that committed suicide because COVID's been so awesome to everybody.
	And I come in here every night, or not every night, Monday, Wednesday, Friday, when I can, 14, 15 hours a week, really.
	I do some of these in the morning and I do some three hours at night and just try to fire people up a little bit to the point that so they don't do that.
	I mean, everything's obviously pretty fucked up.
	And, you know, it's not that I'm saying anything that a lot of people aren't aware of.
	It's just it helps me to talk about it.
	And a lot of people early on have told me that it has helped them just to simply hear somebody else say the things that they're thinking so they know that they're not by themselves, they're not alone and feeling the way that they do.
	And feeling like you're the only person left that feels like that is not a fun time.
	I've been there too.
	You feel, it's very lonely.
	And I think a lot of people have felt that way.
	And that's why I think the community here has been successful as it is, because, you know, there's something there.
	This isn't a gaming clan.
	You know what I mean?
	This isn't like a very surface level kind of thing.
	Like we're all here for a reason and we all, you know, connect with each other for a reason because we all see something that a lot of people don't see.
	That doesn't mean it's not real.
	I mean, I'm very much convinced that it is.
	And I mean, read a history book.
	It's always a very small minority of people that go raise the alarm and say something really bad's happening, guys.
	And everybody tells them to shut up and they're crazy.
	And then the bad thing happens.
	And they go, oh my God, you were right.
	And they're going, yeah, well, too late now while you're all going to the Gulag.
	Or starving to death in the fields of Ukraine and the Holocaust or being cooked alive in a pot and Mao Zedong's China feeding people cannibalism.
	Or the Khmer Rouge in Cambodia or hacking up a third of the population to death and building walls out of their skulls and this kind of thing.
	They don't think that stuff that kind of thing is real, that that can happen.
	So anyway, yeah, and the thing is, so obviously I've been through the mental health system a few times before in the military, and they just, they want to feed you with pills.
	They want to fix everything with pills.
	There's a reason they used to call them quacks, you know, these psychiatrists and psychologists.
	And it was a field of medicine that I used to have a lot of respect for.
	Not so much anymore.
	There are good people in there that are generally trying to do their best, but I think they're a minority.
	I think most of it is there to make money.
	There's no money in healthy people.
	And everything that's wrong with you, there's a pill for.
	Everything that people complain about the volume.
	You turn it up louder.
	That's how it works.
	I don't know.
	Put in headphones or something, man.
	It's the same as it's always been.
	I'm just not screaming.
	See, now I'm off track.
	I got to never read the chat ever again.
	You guys distract me.
	What the fuck was I talking about?
	All right, like I had 12 prescriptions, I think, at one point, 12, 13, 14 for everything you can imagine.
	And I'm pretty sure that any person out there can have anything.
	Every single, everybody's got something wrong with them.
	Like, nobody's feeling 100% all the time.
	And if you, every time you're like, man, I feel really shitty about something.
	And you go see a doctor or you go to a psychiatrist, you're going to get diagnosed with something.
	There's like that's their job.
	They're just going to fix something to you.
	And then with that something comes a nice smorgasbord of pills that are very expensive to the taxpayer, very profitable to the pharmaceutical companies.
	And then you become a person with this thing.
	And there's a tendency for these people to stay in that thing.
	They become the thing.
	Hi, I'm PTSD guy.
	I have to go to my appointments.
	I have to take my medications and I have to do these exercises and I have to go see my psychiatrist and go see my psychologist.
	And it becomes your whole life.
	Trust me, I was there and I saw it happen to lots of people and it started to happen to me.
	And I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
	You're not turning me into a super victim here.
	I just wanted like some, a little bit of, you know, and they basically tried to take over your whole life and micromanage everything that you do.
	And, you know, and at the same time, I'm thinking historically and comparing myself to other people that, I mean, think of like the Second World War.
	To listen to these guys, the First World War, how these guys would talk, they got along just fine.
	I mean, they were a little bit fucked up, but I think this culture of victimizing everybody and telling everybody that they're all fucked up and you have all these problems and it actually makes them worse.
	I went to a briefing once.
	There was this Patricia Sargent from somewhere out in, well, the PPCLI at Weston.
	I can't remember his name.
	The briefing was called, It's Okay to Be Okay.
	You know, like, if you feel fine, you're probably fine.
	But there was this weird underlying attitude or push from the medical community, almost to like maybe make itself more relevant or something, to almost convince these troops that, no, you're actually not fine.
	You're secretly really fucked up and you need our pills and you need our appointments and you need our this and you need our that.
	And I watched people get in there and then just get absorbed by it.
	And now they're still doing it to this day.
	They're just constantly talking about their mental health and, you know, all the things they get.
	Like every day, it's like that's your life now.
	Like you're no longer going forward.
	You're not accomplishing anything.
	You're not, which is actually what would give you some happiness and some satisfaction.
	Trust me.
	You're stuck in this mode of poor me, kind of, and just treading water, taking your pills and doing your thing, you know, and who is that benefiting?
	It's not benefiting you.
	You're not ever going to, like, do you want to stay like that forever?
	Because, you know, I still know these guys that are still going to these meetings and stuff like every day.
	You know, one of these groups, I don't want to name them.
	I really, well, I should, I don't want to lie.
	I do want to ruthlessly just burn them to the goddamn ground, but because they probably do help some people.
	So I don't want to do that.
	But there is a group of people I was introduced to once that has, you know, fancied themselves this, you know, warrior culture brotherhood type of ex-military people.
	You know, and I get there and they're all non-combat troops, all of them.
	There was probably 100 of them.
	And none of them were infantry, engineer, armor, artillery, special forces.
	They're all like clerks and Air Force people.
	And they're all just so absorbed with their identity of being a damaged person that it was disgusting.
	They were literally wearing biker cuts with shit all over it.
	Like, not all wounds are visible.
	PTA, like, just, you know, like, look at me.
	I'm a damaged person.
	And when I was talking about that at the time, people were like, well, like, I'm crazy.
	I'm the bad guy.
	I'm like, look, do you understand what you're doing?
	You're going around like we're the club of victims.
	It's more victim mentality.
	And never mind the fact that, listen, you were a clerk in the Air Force and you're going to have PTSD.
	Like, you know what actually helped me sometimes?
	I'd be like, man, I don't know, but I read some books.
	I read some World War II books, specifically from the German perspective.
	You want to hear some fucking bad days, man.
	No, look at this guy.
	He walked through guts of his own friends for literally, you know, two kilometers.
	Literally just fields of guts and blown apart body parts while being strafed by fucking Il-2 Sturmoviks and, you know, chased down by T-72s, cutting people up as they're trying to fucking...
	But there's this Air Force clerkwoman who heard on the radio, maybe potentially me, on the radio directing radio traffic back and forth, moving forces around on the ground while we're engaged with the enemy.
	That, hearing that on the radio, apparently fucked her up so much.
	She needs a pension for life, and she's got to wear all this fucking flair on a biker cut about how fucked up she is.
	And that's her life now.
	That's her identity is like a weird kind of fetishized version of the just troubled Vietnam veteran or something, right?
	Which is, it's also disturbing because when you see those guys back then, there was no mental health system at all.
	It was like the opposite.
	We went way too far with it.
	Before then, there was nothing.
	And these guys were wearing like their old combat uniforms and stuff because they don't know how to let go.
	And they're homeless and they're fucked up and they're like wearing their medals and stuff.
	They're just like, it's hard to get out of when you spend that much time in that world and that becomes your identity to get out of that and do something else is extremely difficult to do.
	It's a mission-oriented place.
	It's a purpose.
	You have a purpose.
	You have a very specific, defined purpose.
	And everyone around you does as well.
	It's like it's a tribe.
	It's a club.
	It's more than that.
	It's more like a religious experience.
	You know what I mean?
	Being in the military, especially in combat, it was more of a religious experience than most people in the world experience as religious experience.
	Well, I go to church.
	I'm very religious.
	That's nice.
	That's nice.
	You ever go fight and kill and die with a bunch of guys and like, you know, be four feet from another guy under a wall, getting hammered with, you know, PKM rounds and RPGs sailing over your heads and you just kind of silently nod at each other?
	Like, this is good.
	Probably.
	Me and you might have our guts tangled up together in a big pile in a mess here any minute, man.
	You know?
	That's pretty much the edge of the human experience, I think.
	Because I can't remember, I mean, the intensity of that is just, it's...
	But anyway, I don't know.
	I try to get in here and, you know, be helpful and, you know, point out how fucked up everything is.
	But again, make people feel like they're not alone.
	But at the same time, man, it takes a lot out of you.
	And, you know, I'm just a person.
	I'm just a dude, man.
	You know, just like everybody else.
	And sometimes you just don't have it.
	You know, yesterday I was just one of those days.
	Like, you know, because I have these issues and these problems.
	And you have to be in the right kind of mindset to do this.
	I mean, there is no expert at this.
	The online streaming podcast world is brand new relatively as an industry.
	I suppose it is because a lot of people making a fuckload of money doing this kind of thing.
	Like what Steven Crowder and stuff is doing, you know?
	So in my opinion, as somebody's been doing this for a couple of years, you've got a certain product, if you will.
	I don't want to use that word, but people come to expect a certain kind of thing.
	And if you know it's going to be bad, if it's not going to meet your own standards, I have high expectations for myself.
	And, you know, I don't want to make something or do something that's going to just be shit.
	You know, I don't want to blackpill people and get up here and be all angry and depressed and cranky and just, you know what I mean?
	Just because I'm having a shitty day.
	And, you know, some of these guys have no control over it, especially the, you know, other guys in the same boat in the military.
	Man, listen, it just, you wake up that way.
	There's nothing that happens.
	There's nothing that it just, you know, you literally just wake up that way.
	You go to bed, you're fine.
	You wake up and you're like, my blood feels like it's made of cement.
	Like you feel 90 years old, like physically tired and weak and like, you know, like you're walking around in sludge.
	Everything is difficult.
	The thought of like taking the trash 10 feet out the door is like, it might as well be on the fucking moon.
	You know, you don't bother.
	You're just like, fuck me.
	You know, it's one of these days.
	It's just your brain chemistry has, for whatever reason, decided that today is going to be a day where you do fucking absolutely nothing.
	You're just going to be fucked.
	You know, you're just going to feel awful and you're just going to fight off like horrible thoughts all day.
	That's going to be your mission today.
	And that's the best you're going to be able to do.
	That's how, that's what happens.
	And again, with the brain chemistry fuck up stuff, I mean, somebody was asking me the other day, like, how do I describe it?
	Like, as far as like happiness goes and the ability to experience like positive emotions is severely diminished.
	That's another lovely side effect of this is that, you know, it makes you angry when you see other people.
	And I know there's other guys in the chat that know exactly what the hell I'm talking about.
	You see other people that are just like having a great time, are really enjoying just simply something, as a hockey game or something, you know?
	And you get not mad at them, but just like, why I don't feel like that about anything anymore.
	And I haven't for a long time.
	Like, it's really difficult.
	So if that's like a 10, like a 10 out of 10, yeah, a great day.
	This is fucking awesome.
	It's like, I might get to a four at the best of times.
	You know, you basically start, you start at shit.
	And if you're lucky, you might get like, oh, that wasn't bad.
	You know, it's really hard, man, because your brain chemistry's fucked.
	And it's just like that.
	This is your injury.
	It's like having a smashed, shattered, destroyed leg or something.
	It's going to hurt frequently, chronically, maybe all the time.
	There's going to be things you can and can't do now.
	And figure it out.
	That's your life now.
	Or you lost an eye or something, you know?
	An injury is an injury.
	And this is a particularly nasty one because nobody really knows what to do with it.
	It's not something you can see readily and nobody knows how to treat you or talk to you.
	And it's fucking hard on relationships as well.
	That's why a lot of these guys are divorced.
	And I mean, God bless the women that stay with them.
	But I mean, can you imagine?
	I can't.
	I wouldn't want to be around me.
	There's me on the stream and then there's the rest of my life, you know, and trying to be around, you know, guys are angry and they're moody and they're depressed and they're frustrated like most of the time.
	That you're going to be around someone like that most of the time.
	And that attitude and that person, it's going to have an impact on your spouse and your significant other.
	And it's going to take a toll over the years.
	And eventually they just, you know, they can't take it anymore.
	And then they leave, you know, and that makes everything worse.
	And then you can see it happening.
	You know, the guys can see their wives or their husbands or whatever, like, you know, getting just dragged down by the heaviness of how, you know, of your own fucking shit.
	And then that makes you feel worse.
	And it's like, I'm a burden just for like, you know, you can't even express how you feel because it's going to damage other people.
	So that drives them even further inward to not, it's a nasty thing, man.
	That's literally why a lot of these guys, like the trope of, you know, the angry fucking veteran guy living on alone in a cabin in the woods, because that's the best solution they can come up with because they literally can't be around people.
	And their relationships are destroyed.
	And, you know, because people just can't put up with them for it.
	You know, it's like, listen, dad, I love you, but you're fucking too much.
	You know, I, Jesus Christ.
	You know, so how do you deal with it?
	It's tough.
	Anyway, yeah, I just thought I wanted to some stuff I wanted to make.
	Because, I mean, I'm just I'm a real person.
	We're all real people.
	And there's lots of guys out there that need to probably hear that, that it's not just them.
	You're not the only one that's like that.
	I mean, I have to fight with it constantly.
	You know, I actually, last night, I got down to the point where I was literally, I had sat down, had everything set up, and I was just like, I just, I don't have it, man.
	It's not going to be, you know, I could barely keep my eyes open and I just don't give a fuck right now.
	Like, I just don't fucking care at all.
	You know, what can you do?
	You know, it's one of those days, you know.
	And if you got to, you do what you got to do.
	If you got to take a day off, if you got to whatever you have to do to stay alive, you know, and I'm not saying I was trying to stay alive, but metaphorically, or maybe literally in your case, I don't know.
	Whatever you have to do to do that, then do that.
	But the only important, the only thing you need to do is not give up.
	Because once you do that, there's no takebacks.
	It's over.
	Once you're gone, you're gone.
	And that's it.
	Any opportunity you had to change anything, to ever make anything of yourself, to fix anything, and maybe you never can.
	Maybe you're going to feel like shit for the rest of your life.
	But anything you could have done for other people, your friends, your family, strangers, you could have helped somebody somewhere along the line, you took all those opportunities away.
	Anything you ever could have done for anyone else in the world, you just took it away because you couldn't handle it, you know.
	And that's sad in itself.
	So that's the only rule, you know?
	Be mad, be frustrated, be depressed, be a fucking nightmare, you know, punch holes in walls.
	You know, obviously, these aren't good, healthy things to do, but I mean, you know, filling yourself full of pills isn't the answer either.
	And letting these people tell you, like, no, you are now PTSD or you are now your trauma.
	You are your trauma.
	Talk about your trauma.
	You know, like, fuck off.
	Like, there isn't every, like, not everybody in the world has some fucking kind of trauma, you know?
	How many women in this country get raped every day?
	You know, kids lose their parents, you know, like just, there's fucking, people get cancer and die at like crazy young age, you know what I mean?
	I used to date a girl whose, whose brother got cancer and died when he was like three years old.
	Can you imagine a three-year-old?
	Can you imagine those parents, your three-year-old child gets cancer and just slowly fucking, you know?
	So I don't like that they have this mindset where they send all these veterans up for like, oh no, you know, you've got all these, you need to just constantly, like, dude.
	Yeah, okay.
	You had a rough go, but like a lot of people have.
	And just wallowing in it and deciding that you are now, your identity is that you're a damaged person and you're just going to live this way forever is just fucking unacceptable.
	Because there's people that have dealt with way worse and are doing all kinds of good things.
	You know, so I kind of resent that.
	I don't, I don't accept that.
	I don't like that.
	And I think the way forward for a lot of these guys is to just connect with their buddies and their friends because being alone is a, is a, is a part in itself.
	Because again, you're part of this unit.
	You're part of this club, this tribe or cult, really, kind of in a way.
	It's a very intense place.
	I mean, the military, right?
	And then, you know, you've got all your peers support.
	You've got a job to do.
	You've got people depend on you.
	You've got responsibilities.
	You might have subordinates to look after.
	I mean, there's a scene in Rambo, or the first one, First Blood, I think it is.
	Or maybe not.
	I can't remember now.
	And I don't know who ever wrote that movie, but it was really, actually, it's very good, the first one.
	And there's a part where he kind of goes off about how, and I was like, ooh, that one stings because I know that feeling.
	And I watched the guy commit suicide over basically the same thing.
	The guy was a sergeant at 2nd Battalion.
	And when I was going, again, in the wonderful mental health system, sitting there waiting for whoever to tell me, you know, he was sitting there.
	I was a corporal at the time and he was a sergeant.
	We're just both sitting there.
	And I talked, and he was like, I was like, how do you make it out?
	And he just looked at me and he was like, a month ago, I was a sergeant in an infantry battalion.
	I was in charge of 10 men, millions of dollars in equipment, a multi-million dollar fighting vehicle, the Lab 3. I mean, some people go to work and like, oh, I got my cool, you know, my new work computer or whatever, like you're responsible for it.
	Like, bro, we would go to work, and I've had that job too as a section commander.
	It's like, here's what you need to be in charge of today.
	These 10 lives, okay, and you all have fucking machine guns, and we're going to go out at nighttime with night vision, and we're going to go out into the out into the field here, and you're going to go out there in this fucking, the APC, the Lab 3. It's got a 25mm Bushmaster auto cannon on it.
	It's got grenade launchers and machine guns, and you're going to use all these things at the same time.
	And you are going to command all of this, the vehicle, the troops on the ground, yourself, the radio, and you're going to go out there, and there's an objective on the other end of this field, and you're going to hammer the living shit out of that.
	And there's going to be a bunch of officers assessing everything that you're doing, and they're going to pick apart all of your mistakes.
	And you're going to do it again and again and again and again.
	And oh, don't get anybody killed, by the way, if that would be helpful.
	And it's raining and it's November and it's cold.
	And again, they mentioned it's pitch dark.
	That's an intense job.
	He's like, I went from doing that.
	And he's like, now I mow the lawn.
	Like, their idea of helping him was to take him out of that job.
	And like, we'll just get him to mow the lawn because it's so much less stressful.
	That'll be helpful for him.
	That actually broke him.
	Like, I saw it in his face.
	I saw it.
	And I was just like, I didn't know what to say.
	I was like, holy shit.
	He's like, I went from being a section commander at 2nd Battalion.
	I was in charge of millions of dollars of equipment.
	And now I mow the lawn.
	You know, like he didn't, he had done like 15 years in the army before that point and was like a respected guy.
	And, you know, when they send you up to these units, these places, like people don't, you look weak now.
	And like the stigma's there.
	It's a real thing.
	And they're like, oh, you couldn't handle it, man.
	You couldn't fucking.
	And then he shot himself.
	And he had two little girls.
	And, you know, they had his funeral and it was a fucking nightmare.
	They were screaming and trying to get out the casket, screaming, daddy, daddy, you know, just the worst.
	Anyway, yeah, there's a scene in Rambo talking about the same kind of thing.
	He's like, now I can't even get a job parking cars.
	You know, I used to be able to do all this.
	And now I can't even get a job over here parking cars.
	So when you get out of the military, it's like, now, I mean, you go from being up here where you're like, I have some legit, I have some real fucking shit I got to do today.
	You know, people go to work to do like whatever.
	I don't want to make fun of anybody or feel like I'm diminishing anybody's careers or whatever, right?
	But pick one, right?
	There's that, and then there's this.
	It's like, which one?
	Like, it's a really tense job.
	It's a really intense, you know, thing.
	And it's easy to wrap your identity around in that.
	It's like, you're not just going to work.
	You're not just Chris anymore.
	You're fucking Sergeant McDonald or whatever, you know?
	You're a fucking people are looking up to you and you've got shit to do, man.
	You've got fucking missions to accomplish and all this kind of stuff.
	And then that all just goes away.
	And then they end up out of the military and they go, well, and they go, see you later.
	Like, there's no farewell parade.
	There's no fuck off.
	I mean, you sign some papers and that's it.
	You're just like, really?
	That was it?
	You know, nobody even, like, I think the last guy I talked to in the military, he didn't even look up from his desk.
	He was just like, yeah, see you later.
	Signing a thing.
	I'm like, okay.
	Like, I guess that's it.
	And then you go home and you sit on the couch and you just, hmm, and they go, what do you want to do now?
	And you're like, I don't fucking know.
	What do you mean, what do I do now?
	I've spent the last 14, 15 years training to be a, you know, a killer, a warrior for the country to destroy our enemies and protect our people.
	And now you're like, well, have you considered working at at uh at Radio Shack?
	Like, what?
	Me?
	You want me to work at Radio Shack?
	Oh, you could go to school and learned about LGBTQ theory or gender identity.
	And that's another problem.
	All these guys get out and I know they're like, you know, from my end of the world, right?
	They get out and they're like, oh, this is the world now?
	This wasn't like this when I got in here.
	When I went into the military, it wasn't like this.
	You're in a bubble.
	You're in the military.
	That's all you do.
	All I cared about was, you know, my job and my friends and this kind of thing.
	And how do I get on this course?
	And I want to get that jump course.
	I want to be a paratrooper now.
	I want to do this Ironman race.
	I want to go to the special forces selection.
	I want to try and get promoted this year.
	I want this and I want that.
	And I want to do, and, you know, that's it.
	That's all you're involved in.
	So these people are like, doesn't the military know what's going on?
	No, they really don't.
	They have no fucking idea.
	They're completely clueless because they're completely absorbed in their own jobs and their own lives.
	They don't have time.
	You're working like you're in the field.
	You're not even home six months a year.
	You're literally living in the woods or in a tent somewhere for six months of the year on eating plastic food and just going balls to the wall all the time, living in the rain and this kind of stuff.
	So then they get back like, don't you know about Bilderbergs?
	They're like, I don't, what?
	Fuck off.
	Fuck off.
	I'm trying to sleep with my wife and play video games.
	I don't give a shit about it.
	You know what I mean?
	So no, they don't have any idea what's going on and they're not going to.
	So, you know, what do you do when you get out of there?
	It's like, oh.
	Oh, you want to go to school?
	Like, yeah, I looked into that.
	I would kill myself or everyone else in there.
	So that's out.
	You know, listening to these kids fucking complain about, you know, oh my God, I'm so stressed about fucking exams.
	Like, society's so weak, it's offensive.
	And I'm serious about that because there's a standard in the military, at least where I was in the infantry.
	At least when I was in, I understand that's rapidly spiraling downward.
	You couldn't just float.
	You couldn't just coast.
	You had to lift.
	You had to pull your weight or you were gone.
	You had to maintain a standard.
	You had to show up early.
	You had to dress well.
	You couldn't be a piece of shit.
	You had to shave every day.
	You had to get your hair cut every week.
	If there was a piece of lint on your hat, on your beret, you might get fucking smacked in the face.
	I'm talking, you go up to these parades.
	I remember one time in 3rd Battalion.
	I had just gotten there too.
	Like, I was brand new.
	So you're at a new unit.
	Nobody knows you in the other, you know.
	I knew everybody in 2RCR.
	I went to 3RCR.
	I was there for a week or two.
	Brand new, right?
	Nobody knows me.
	I'm Master Corporal now, right?
	And so I'm in charge of fucking people.
	And they're like, yeah, you got to be here at just time for a parade.
	It's coming up on Remembrance Day on the 11th.
	So we got to get in our dress uniforms.
	Fucking looking fancy.
	Everything's very shiny.
	Looks great.
	Very nice.
	Again, most civilian people, I mean, I see them, they can't even, these fucking doctors, they can't even wear suits.
	That's why I get mad about this stuff.
	I'm like, I can do it.
	I'm an idiot.
	You know, I'm an idiot with no education from Pictou County, Nova Scotia, and I can clean myself up and look like a fucking professional if and when I need to.
	And this guy's making truckloads of money in his suits like, you know, Jesus Christ, right?
	So I show up to this place, and I'm late.
	I don't know where it is.
	I thought I knew where it was, but if you've ever been to CFP Pettawawa, oh man.
	Oh man.
	It's a mess.
	All the buildings are a number and a letter and a number.
	S103, K-14, you know, D-56, D-50.
	Well, that's Gazetown.
	But you know what I mean?
	And you're like, and the map doesn't make sense.
	It's not like it goes A, B, C, D. It's just all over the place.
	You're like, you literally have to remember where it is and commit it to memory.
	You have to commit that designation serial number to memory.
	It's that robotic and ridiculous, you know?
	See, I finally get there and I'm late.
	I'm like, fuck, I have to like sneak.
	Everybody's already formed up on parade, which is bad, right?
	If they see you coming in, oh, hundreds of people are there, right?
	I fucking slip in there at the very last minute.
	I'm like, thank God.
	And then I look around and realize I'm the only one in the battalion I thought not wearing a poppy on my uniform because I did, I just didn't have time to grab one.
	I forgot.
	Rushing around, brand new.
	I'm still trying to move into my house.
	I'm trying to do, you know, so I'm like, fuck, you know.
	And that's a mighty big offense.
	And I watch the RSM just rip the shreds out of three different people for the same thing.
	And I mean tear them apart in front of the whole battalion for minutes at a time.
	And the RSM is like the top enlisted man in the whole unit.
	The RSM comes, it's not good, okay?
	That's like the fucking vice president of Apple Computer.
	You work for Apple Computers and the vice president comes down to your desk personally and screams at you for 15 minutes about how much of a piece of shit you are and how you don't even deserve to be here.
	You know, people have died for this uniform and you can't even be bothered to fucking dress properly.
	You're a goddamn disgrace.
	How do you live with yourself?
	Do you even have a wife?
	How does she not leave you?
	You're fucking pathetic, you know, for 20 minutes like this.
	Again, in the civilian world, can you imagine?
	And we get out here and we'll be like, don't be a faggot.
	And everyone goes, can we call HR?
	I'm offended.
	You're offended?
	You're offended.
	You know, it's like, I can't live in this society.
	I just can't do it.
	But anyway, I sat there.
	We did the whole parade and I was just like deliberately not looking.
	This is true, by the way, if you don't know this, if you're staring at someone and you're making eye contact with them, they're like, I don't know what percentage more likely to turn and look at you.
	It's actually in the manual, in the training manual in the CF, probably in the United States as well, for sentry takedowns.
	And what a sentry takedown is, if you're trying to kill a guy on like a perimeter overwatch kind of thing, silent, like with a knife, you're going to sneak up behind him and fucking jack that guy right through the neck there or down through the clavicle is good.
	Hand over the mouth and up into the kidney is also, you know, you're going to be dead quickly because there's arteries that anyway.
	But they teach you not to look at the back of his head, look at his feet, don't look at the back of his head because people have a radar and they go, what the fuck?
	And they turn around, they see you standing there with a knife, and then they shoot you.
	Okay?
	So I'm in my head, like, don't look at the RSM, don't look at the RSM, don't look because he's going to notice there's just a row of poppies all in the same place, hundreds of guys, little red, little red, little red.
	Wait, why does that one?
	And I'm in the front fucking row because I'm a master corporal.
	I'm like, oh, no.
	So that was a stressful day.
	You know, it was a stressful afternoon.
	You know, these people are like, oh, I had such a stressful day at work.
	The copier didn't work and I couldn't get these files printed.
	And the boss was like, we need them by the end of the day.
	And I was like, oh, I had to go find some paper.
	And I was like, I was waiting to be impaled on a pike in front of a thousand people by this fucking guy.
	And this RSM was a scary dude.
	He wasn't like a bitch.
	He was like, he was intense, man.
	He was crazy.
	I think he had a heart attack, actually, not long after that.
	But he was a good guy.
	He's just doing his job.
	And that's how you maintain a high standard.
	You don't let things slip.
	That's maybe why I'm so angry a lot of the time.
	Because, I mean, we have a society now where everything is just let, we're just let it slip.
	Ah, it's not that big of a deal.
	No, it is.
	Because if you say that's not big of a deal, then the standard slips.
	And then next time it slips further and it slips further and it slips further.
	As soon as there's a little bit of a wobble, you fucking come down there with a hammer and nail and fix it immediately.
	You don't wait until your house is falling down.
	You hear like a creak in the floor.
	You go, what the fuck?
	I'm going to look into that.
	You know, that's how it's done.
	That's how professional, serious countries work.
	You don't just go, ah, that's what, that's the Canadian attitude.
	What was his name?
	I can't remember.
	I can't remember.
	He was the RSM at 3rd Battalion in 2014, I want to say.
	13 or 14. And I thought he had a heart attack or something, and then he got replaced.
	But anyway, you know, like, you know, again, in the civilian world, people are like, what's the big deal?
	It's just a pop.
	No, it's because we've set a standard, right?
	We are going to do this.
	And you fell short.
	Falling short of the standard is unacceptable.
	And standards all across the country are just nosediving.
	And not just in the military, the RCMP, everywhere.
	Failure and incompetence is just accepted.
	And it's expected.
	And it's like, well, that's all it is.
	And especially with the government.
	So that's probably why I have such a problem with it.
	There's no, they're not even trying.
	It's not like they make some mistakes.
	They make so many and don't care.
	They're completely incompetent and there's no justice.
	There's no, this would be like being the RSM of an infantry battalion and just watching everyone be a fucking massive mess.
	And you're like, you're not allowed to say anything.
	You're not allowed to do anything about it.
	You're supposed to sit there and watch it.
	You still got to come in here every day and you still have to be here and watch this, but you can't do anything about it.
	And the regimental motto in the RCR, the Royal Canadian Regiment, is never pass a fault.
	And I see faults everywhere.
	All the time.
	It feels like nobody can do their job anymore, no matter what it is.
	I can't even get a sandwich half the fucking time.
	You know?
	Like, you go to Tim Hortons.
	I don't even, I hardly even go there anymore because it's a fucking sellout company owned by Brazil, Brazilian fucking billionaires now, or Max Carlos Slim, is that who owns it?
	I don't fucking know.
	And the products are shitty.
	And they only hire non-white people essentially for tax breaks.
	Temporary foreign workers.
	You know that?
	These corporations get subsidies.
	They get kickbacks and tax money back to hire temporary foreign workers and immigrants and this kind of thing.
	So by default, like pushing Canadian kids out of that opportunity as well.
	So that's nice.
	So you go in there and I'll be like, yeah, can I get a fucking this or a sandwich or whatever?
	And I'd be like, no mayonnaise.
	I don't like mayonnaise.
	I've never liked mayonnaise.
	It just grosses me out.
	Looks like jizz.
	I don't want to eat it.
	You know, I don't like it.
	I want hamburgers and what I think.
	And nine times out of ten, there's mayonnaise on it anyway.
	And I got to go all the way.
	I was like, you have one job.
	It's on the screen.
	It says what to do.
	You know?
	And half the time they go, well, you didn't ask for that.
	And I go, here's the receipt.
	You see how it says dash no mail right there on the fucking thing?
	And when it came up on your screen, can you even do that job?
	You know, it's like even the simplest things can't, nothing can get done properly.
	All the way up to the prime minister's office, all the way down to a Tim Horton sandwich, everywhere you go.
	You know, you know, you see fat cops everywhere.
	Like you can't even, how seriously do you take your job that you can't even take care of yourself?
	Your job is to like hunt, like manhandle criminals and chase them down and fight them and this kind of thing, right?
	And you're like 80 pounds overweight.
	You're obese.
	You couldn't chase.
	You don't even care.
	That used to drive me nuts too in the military, seeing guys that were just out of shape.
	It's like, dude, this is a war job.
	Like, it's the most physical job in the world.
	Do you think you just lay on a firing line on a sunny afternoon and take turns shooting at each other with a bunch of guys in the other end of the...
	all day long.
	And you're a fucking overweight sack of shit.
	Do you even like, do you even care?
	Do you even want to do this job?
	Shouldn't you want to be good at your job?
	You clearly don't.
	You clearly couldn't care less.
	You're just coasting.
	And that drives me nuts.
	I don't want people that coast.
	I want people that want to do better.
	I want people that are doing their best, that are in deliberately trying their best every day.
	Like, well, you know, what David Goggins was saying, I'm nowhere near that fucking guy's level.
	That guy's on another planet, you know?
	But he's like, I don't, he's like, I don't respect People that don't try.
	And that's what I see when I go out in the world.
	I see people that don't give a shit.
	They're just sloths.
	Every day I get older, I want to live in the world less proportionally.
	It's just, you know, I'll be out on my bike or something, right?
	And you just pull up to a stop sign, you look over, and there's some guy in a fucking F-250 who's about 250, overweight, just shoveling in a fucking cake into his face, and the whole truck's covered in rough rider shit.
	So his whole life is sports ball and being a fat slug.
	And like, he doesn't care about shit.
	Like, this guy is a picture of excellence, you know?
	That's just the way it is.
	No, that's not just the way it is.
	Canadians and Americans, we didn't look like this in the 60s and 70s.
	People were in shape, and they went to work on time, and they tried, and there was consequences for not doing your job.
	You get fired.
	And your boss could be like, the fuck is wrong with you?
	You get chastised.
	And you couldn't say, I'm offended, and then sue the company because you suck.
	You suck and got chewed out for it.
	So then you sue the company for hate crime or something.
	Or misogyny, it's because I'm a woman.
	No, it's because you showed up work.
	You showed up to work late every day for a month, Debbie.
	Every day.
	Every day you're 10 minutes late.
	Let's add up these 10 minutes.
	That's 50 minutes a week.
	So an hour, that's four hours a month.
	Do you see where we're going with this?
	That's half a workday a month.
	That's several days a year I'm paying you to not be here.
	Efficiency, okay?
	You're not, how fucking hard is it to show up on time?
	It's too hard, apparently.
	And, you know, it's everywhere.
	It's across the board, just sloth-like.
	Nobody gives a fuck.
	So you see, you know, when people act, like, why doesn't anybody do anything?
	This country's falling apart.
	Nobody seems to care.
	That's right.
	No one does care.
	Most people are not serious people.
	They're just sloths.
	They're slugs.
	They're donkeys.
	They don't even try.
	They do the bare minimum.
	If that.
	And they're always victims.
	If there's anything wrong with them, if there's any failure in their life, if they're not where they want to be in life, it's because they're a victim.
	It's because it's probably your fault.
	If they're a minority, it's because it's white people's fault.
	If they're a woman, it's because it's men's fault.
	If they're gay, it's because straight people are oppressing them.
	If it's, you know, you name it.
	There's an excuse.
	There's always an excuse.
	It's the patriarchy.
	It's the white supremacists.
	It's misogyny.
	It's my trauma.
	I'm a victim.
	We're soft.
	We're a soft people.
	And that's why nothing's happening.
	That's why nobody's doing anything about it.
	That's why you see all these women going to these PTA meetings saying, what are you doing to our kids?
	Going to these protests.
	It's all women because there's no men anymore.
	They're all obsessed with nothing, meaningless, empty shit.
	And that really bothers me also because, again, in the military, we're talking life and death, man.
	This is some shit.
	This isn't paintball.
	This isn't the reserves.
	It's like, listen, man, when I'm teaching something to somebody, if I'm teaching a C16 class or whatever, and somebody's not quite paying attention, I'm like, I get mad.
	Listen, man.
	And this had been done.
	I had to learn it this way too.
	Someone had done this to me when I was brand new.
	I wasn't really paying attention, daydreaming about whatever.
	Like, I'm teaching you this now.
	There's not going to be a do-over.
	And you may find yourself sometime, anytime.
	I mean, who knew 9-11 was coming?
	Sometimes you just, oh, shit, a thing happened and you're out the door gone to go do something somewhere.
	And you might be behind a weapon system that you don't really understand or remember how to use because you weren't paying attention that day.
	And somebody's going to die.
	Maybe you, because you can't remember how to reload this fucking thing.
	And you can't remember how the sights work.
	How do I upload this fucking lav cannon again?
	I don't know.
	You should have paid attention.
	It's a little late now.
	There's RPGs sailing in here.
	I've seen that happen.
	Guys didn't know how to adjust their own fucking C79 optical sight, the sight on their rifles.
	They didn't know, which way's up?
	I'm like, are you fucking serious right now?
	Which way's up?
	Right?
	There's consequences.
	It's a serious job.
	This isn't market-make-believe, man.
	Like, people die for mistakes, and they did.
	So then you get out in the world where it's like, oh, nothing matters.
	Like, it's just empty, you know?
	And as far as guys go that, you know, they get into the military, and I was speaking earlier about how, like, they don't have a mission anymore.
	You got to find one.
	You got to find something.
	I languished away in that basement for a couple of years before I started doing this because at least I never really intended to do this.
	I always kind of knew on some level I had a big mouth and I was good at yapping away.
	I see all the chats and stuff, guys.
	I'm going to read them in a bit here.
	I just don't want to.
	I had people tell me, it's like, dude, you should have been a comedian.
	You should have did this.
	You should have a, you know, I'm good at talking.
	But that was never my intention.
	It just kind of happened by circumstance.
	Because, again, I found myself sitting around doing, I don't know what to do with myself anymore.
	I'm not a person that can just mow lawns for money and be satisfied with that and be happy with that.
	It has to mean something.
	I have to be doing something that I believe in or that is meaningful or I consider to be meaningful.
	And everybody assigns what that is to themselves.
	What means something to me might not mean fucking jack shit to you.
	But if you're doing something that you don't believe in, you don't care about, you're not going to be happy.
	And happiness isn't having money or buying shit.
	It's doing something that you're pursuing and contributing or doing something that means something to you and feels important.
	Feels like this is, you know, work.
	You need work.
	You need a project.
	You need something to work towards, whatever that is.
	When I was in the military, it was my career.
	I was trying to get to, you know, Seesaw and JTF2 and this kind of thing.
	And that's what I went for.
	And I was going to the gym two, three times a day because I was, I don't do that so much anymore because it's not my mission anymore.
	I don't need to.
	I wish I did.
	I wish I had the time.
	You know, I wish I could go to the gym.
	I can't because Coronu and masks and all this crap.
	But you know what I mean?
	you need an objective, you need to do you need to have something that matters to you that you feel is important, that is worth your time.
	You know, you're doing this because you want to be doing it.
	If you don't, you know, you're gonna end up just miserable, you know, digging a hole in the ground, digging ditches.
	I didn't even have that job anymore, right?
	So, you know, I just sat around and was watching YouTube videos and shit on the internet, and I learned a lot of shit over a couple of years.
	I wasn't contributing anything.
	I was just listening to this and listening to that, reading this and reading that, and up late listening to that.
	I'd walk around, go for a run, think about it, digest it, and then, you know, and then I'd counter check it with this and that.
	It took years.
	I mean, I literally, I went to conspiracy theory school, essentially, for a while and just basically consumed everything that I could get my hands on.
	You don't have to believe everything.
	That's the difference.
	Aristotle, I think, said that.
	This is the mark of an intelligent person or an intellect that you can entertain the thought of an idea without accepting it.
	Someone can tell me, someone can explain to me, you know, their eugenicist ideas, you know, and I can go, okay, I see what you mean.
	I understand.
	I get it.
	I don't agree with you, but I see what you're saying.
	I get, you know what I mean?
	You're allowed to do that.
	You know what I mean?
	And that's being taken out of society, too.
	We're not even allowed to talk about certain, I don't mean eugenics, right?
	But anything.
	Free speech is dead.
	Wrongthink is here.
	You know, the government's talking about there's no place for hate.
	Well, who defines what hate is?
	How many people hate Justin Trudeau?
	Quite a few.
	Are they all going to go to jail?
	Is that illegal?
	Like, what are you talking about?
	What are you doing?
	You're legislating human emotions now?
	That's great.
	That's not going to go anywhere terrible.
	We're an immature society full of crybabies and punk bitch people that you can't even listen to someone else's other point of view.
	Can't even listen to it.
	You just think that them saying it out loud is going to damage things.
	They already decided, you know, this kid who, from what I understand is an accident, from everything I've talked, read, and heard from people down there, guy was having problems with his truck literally days prior, runs these people over, stops pretty much immediately, and tells the first person he sees to call the police because he ran some people over, clearly a terrorist, right?
	He was dressed in all the, yeah, he was either coming to or coming home from or going to an airsoft club where they dress up in military type fucking shit and shoot pellets at each other, LARP as commandos, right?
	Sounds like an accident to me, but no, the political class and the media decided it was an anti-Muslim hate crime within an hour without knowing any of the facts, without knowing anything.
	And now they're going to ruin this kid's life and just absolutely send him up the fucking river because for political reasons.
	And they're going to use that as an excuse, as a reason to shut up everybody.
	They don't like, well, they have the wrong opinion, so shut them up.
	You're pathetic.
	You can't even listen to someone's opinion.
	And when you do that, you're just going to send everybody underground.
	You're not allowed to express yourself.
	You're not allowed to say, you know, do they think it's going to, people aren't going to think these things?
	People are still going to feel these things.
	We're not allowed to talk about it.
	It's still in there, trust me.
	And it's going to come out one way or another.
	It can't not.
	That's like telling, you know, let's do this the other way.
	Let me tell the LGBT community, don't be gay.
	Don't talk about it.
	Don't fucking do it.
	Shut up.
	It's illegal.
	Right?
	Used to be illegal.
	What happened?
	They're going to do gay stuff anyway because they're gay.
	Like they just, that's who they are.
	And now they're saying, don't be nationalists.
	Don't be conservatives.
	Don't believe these things.
	Shut up.
	Don't talk about, well, they're still going to.
	All you're doing is galvanizing them and making them entrench themselves even further and accept that like, oh, this is war then.
	You're just straight up going to persecute me.
	And we don't live in a free society.
	We can't even exchange ideas or talk about anything out loud anymore because it's hate.
	And who defines what that is?
	The government does.
	Government can just say, oh, that's hate.
	Shut that down.
	Jail.
	Two to five years in prison for wrong think.
	Why won't they do it?
	They do it in Russia.
	They do it in China.
	They do it in North Korea.
	Now they're going to do it in Canada.
	Those are our peers now.
	Isn't that nice?
	Anyway, I got sidetracked.
	You need a mission of some kind.
	You need something to dedicate your time to and an objective, a goal, something you want to do.
	And then start working towards that.
	Because if you're just languishing around like I was, waiting for something to happen or hoping something happened, it's not going to.
	I got lucky.
	I watched a lot of this shit and then it just kind of dawned on me, why don't I do this?
	I can fucking talk.
	I can make silly videos and stuff.
	I used to do that in school and a couple in the army too, just to make guys laugh and whatever.
	We'd make fun of, take some exercise footage and stuff and make fun of people.
	So I was like, I'll fucking make some YouTube videos.
	And so I did.
	I started doing it.
	And it turns out it felt good to do that.
	I liked knowing that I could make people happy and laugh and get something out of it.
	And, you know, it's like, man, that was hilarious.
	I really enjoyed that.
	And that made me feel good.
	And that gave me a purpose again for something to do.
	You know, it's something positive you can do.
	And that's all I wanted to do.
	But, you know, again, of course, the government wouldn't let you do that.
	So it's, you know, barricade garage.
	We talked to him earlier.
	Same thing.
	He's like, I just wanted to make my channel about fixing cars and trucks and engines.
	He's a mechanic, right?
	That's what I wanted to do.
	And then it just drifted into something else because you just won't leave us the hell alone.
	So you need something that you need to focus on and do.
	Yeah, Gary's in there.
	Gary, fuck what he's, I saw the other night.
	He's fixing, working on his boat for hours and hours.
	Like, you need something.
	You can't just sit around and drift around and do nothing or you're going to go nuts.
	Idle hands and the devil or whatever.
	How does it work?
	You know?
	And I'm doing this.
	And I can't, you know, and when you get like that, when you get in these moods again, like I'm no different than you guys, I get, you know, I have shitty days like everybody else.
	And sometimes I just, I am not, I don't get it today, man.
	It ain't happening today.
	Sorry.
	I sat down.
	I had everything set up and everything.
	And I sat down.
	I was just like, yeah, no, it's not happening.
	I'm just, I am too fucked up right now.
	You know, as long as you don't quit, that's all.
	Take a day off.
	Take a, you know, get some sleep.
	Just do whatever you got to do.
	But I, but I, and, you know, I lay there and I'm like, what if, you know, I do think about that all the time.
	Not all the time, but like, what if I just quit?
	Just delete everything.
	Just delete the whole thing.
	Delete every fucking account I have and just throw, and then throw my phone in the woods and then there.
	But then what do I do?
	What am I, me, what am I going to do?
	Am I going to work at Radio Shack?
	Am I going to go to university?
	Am I going to fix cars?
	Like, I know myself pretty well and I know what I, I would not be happy doing any of those things.
	I'm a political guy and I care about this shit a lot.
	I really do.
	I'm pretty much the polar opposite of someone like Justin Trudeau or Jagmeet Singh.
	I actually do give a shit.
	It really does bother me.
	I really wish I did have the ability to help people and fix this shit because I fucking would.
	And I'm just doing what I can to like at least call awareness to it.
	And at the same time, try and keep people going that are not doing well.
	Because I understand the value of that because I've been in those places where I needed somebody to just validate what I'm feeling.
	That I'm not a crazy, you know, lost person that just should get a bullet in the head or just be wrapped up in a in a straitjacket in an institution somewhere because you're literally the only person in the world that feels this way.
	And it does get like that.
	So, you know, we all need that.
	And I'm like, if I can do that for people, I mean, fuck, I kind of have to.
	What else am I going to do?
	I like doing it.
	I mean, I can't think of anything else to do.
	And I mean, unless, and I've had opportunities to do other things.
	A couple of my buddies work in security contracting companies.
	Like, hey, you want to come to Africa?
	It's 10 grand a month.
	U.S., tax-free.
	Might get shot at a little bit, but, you know, mercenary jobs pays real well.
	Last year, I was very close to considering doing it before, you know, I started really doing this full-time.
	I mean, but I wouldn't be happy doing that either because it's like, what does it mean?
	It's just, I'm just doing this for money.
	I'm just over here.
	What am I doing?
	Shooting people for money.
	Like, that can't be good for your soul, you know, long term.
	You know, a lot of guys like the job, though.
	They like the intensity and the adrenaline rush of it and the intensity of being in a life and death combat.
	It is addictive.
	It's terrifying, but it's also, it's hard to, nothing else comes close.
	You know?
	You can't compare it to anything.
	There's nothing like that.
	You're just so close to death and you're so alive at the same time.
	It's like, you know, it's hard to say no to that to a lot of.
	And I still get it, man.
	I get it.
	And especially if it pays really well and you get to be with the boys again.
	I mean, they miss the army.
	They miss the guys and they miss this kind of stuff.
	And the army's not what it used to be.
	So, you know, but I was like, but besides that, like, what the hell am I going to do?
	I mean, you guys have watched me for a couple of years now for hours and hours a week.
	This isn't a fake character.
	This is very, I'm just straight up.
	I was talking to Greg last night.
	You know, thanks for the conversation, Greg.
	And he's like, yeah, you know, you leave it all out there.
	It's got to be exhausting.
	I'm like, I do.
	It's not a act.
	I'm, you know, I'm very similar to Alex Jones in that way, I think.
	I'm not, you know, it's a, I'm very passionate about this stuff and I fucking mean it.
	You know, I mean the things that I say and I'm not afraid to just do it.
	And it's, but it's exhausting, you know.
	So what do you do with somebody like that?
	Like, so that's the same thing.
	What would Alex Jones do if he wasn't doing that?
	Would he be an interior decorator?
	Like, is he going to redo your kitchen, you know?
	What kind of fridge you got here?
	Yeah, I can get a better fridge.
	I can get you a nice dishwasher here.
	I'm going to redo these countertops.
	What kind of countertops are these?
	These marble made in China.
	You know what they do in China?
	These are Chinese countertops.
	You know, in China, they're eating none more babies in China.
	You know, like, it wouldn't last long for him.
	He would just be right back to it.
	And the same thing would be for me.
	I'd be doing something for 10 minutes for no time at all.
	And if I'd see something made in China, my brain would immediately be like, you know?
	Or like, oh, oh, because of inflation, this has gone up this much percent.
	You know, just trying to not fucking say anything.
	The Canadian military today has announced that ranks will all be gender neutral and Fox Kin Commander Christy Babooblidoo is now the general of the you know like I can't I have to I just it's who you got to be you know you got to be true to yourself right and that's that makes you and honestly and I was another friend of mine Chris again thanks for the conversation was talking to him yesterday and uh he's like my life is is pretty I'm healthy my relationships
	are healthy I'm healthy I'm doing well you know but the but everybody's telling me I'm crazy and it's like but I'm I'm fine like I'm not I'm not somebody who's climb I'm not not sleeping for four days at a time and ranting and raving about QAnon you know at four o'clock in the morning on a live stream for two people and like you know and just not eating and acting crazy and you know what I mean I get up in the morning I drink my coffee I exercise I've got a routine I you
	know I talk to my friends I've got good relationships I talk to my parents and my kids you know what I mean and I'm like I'm actually doing fine it's the world that's sick you know they're like be like us I'm like I don't want to fucking be like you you're crazy you're walking around with a mask on with a plastic shield on your face and latex gloves to go into a grocery store to do all the nah no I'm no no no no you're not gonna gaslight me into This, you know, so it's like, man, yeah.
	And they're like, and you know, they'll say, well, you're in the minority.
	Yeah, I know that, but that doesn't mean it's wrong.
	You know, the minority of people believed the earth was round.
	The minority of people believed that slavery should probably be abolished.
	You know, minority of people believed a lot of things before it became true.
	And then it was accepted.
	And then, you know, the stupid people take credit for it.
	Yeah, we always knew that.
	No, you didn't.
	You stupid bitch.
	Had you been around that time, you would have agreed with the mob.
	The mob is always wrong.
	Always.
	Always.
	Look what's coming out now.
	I mean, we were right.
	Fauci's emails were all out there.
	They don't want to look at them.
	That's their fucking problem.
	But they're there.
	The masks are pointless, essentially.
	They do nothing.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, we knew that the whole time.
	And the guy who is setting policy for the United States, the top docketer, has admitted that they don't do anything.
	So all these people like, you're an idiot.
	You were wrong the whole time.
	You were always wrong.
	So again, I really don't care.
	You know, being the minority or not, like, I know what I, you know, and that's my choice.
	If I want to live my life this way, you leave me there, and they don't want to leave you alone.
	That's another problem.
	I'm not here, and none of you guys are up here, saying that we need to force the rest of society to live the way we want them to.
	No, I want to live the way that I want to and raise my family the way I want to, and I want to be left alone.
	I want to just be left alone to be myself and express myself the way I want.
	And isn't that the credo of the left and these people?
	Born this way, be yourself, et cetera?
	I keep seeing this meme.
	It's pretty funny.
	It's like if you're, you know, I'm an LGBTQI and I'm attracted to transdimensional fucking whatever.
	We're like, well, they're born that way.
	I was born a heterosexual man and I'm attracted to heterosexual females.
	That is societal programming and that's toxic masculinity.
	That is a mental condition.
	No, it's not.
	That's just, that's who I am.
	And no, you're not allowed to, that's not allowed.
	These people are sick and insane.
	I don't care.
	I mean, and they're going to make this illegal.
	They're going to make what I'm doing illegal very soon.
	And then I don't know.
	I don't know what's going to happen.
	Do I wait for them to arrest me?
	Do I hop the border over to Montana or North Dakota and carry on from there as a fucking refugee and say, oh, come back whenever this country feels like fighting for itself?
	Because right now it doesn't want to.
	Right now it's fine with it.
	Canada loves it.
	Far and wide, again, because they're soft and they're just too busy with sports ball and stuff in their face and not at all concerned.
	Not everybody.
	A lot of people are obviously very concerned, but not nearly enough.
	Oh, I don't know.
	Let's see.
	Let's see here.
	I'm going to read some of these and probably get out of here in a minute.
	See if I can remember.
	There's anything else I wanted to talk about.
	Oh, yeah, Rempel's tweet.
	See that?
	Yeah, right?
	There's no opposition.
	There isn't.
	Like, think about that, absorb that, and understand that the entire government we have is occupied by the enemy.
	The enemy being cultural Marxism, that ideology.
	They're all communists, whether they admit it or not, whether they even know it or not.
	Doesn't matter.
	Does it matter?
	I mean, we fucking hung the radio operator from Auschwitz, right?
	Because he, well, he should have known better.
	So why doesn't that logic apply now?
	Michelle Rempelgarner's out there to be like, I'm a she, her, and I'm privileged, cis, white female, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
	You're fucking compromised.
	That's Marxism.
	You're infected.
	You're the enemy.
	You have to fucking go.
	All of you, the entire Conservative Party, you have to go.
	The NDP, these liberal, every single one of them.
	We have no one in the government that's sane anymore.
	No one.
	They're either unwilling or incapable of doing anything.
	So where does that leave us?
	People need to understand that and then organize something.
	Because they're waiting around for the government to like figure.
	They're not ever going to figure it out.
	They don't work for you.
	They work for the Chinese and they work for the bankers and they work for the global entities.
	Like we're at war.
	We're basically captured.
	Okay.
	Canada is a captured country.
	The United States is being captured.
	But you've got places like South Dakota.
	Maybe I'll go there.
	Christy Noam.
	She's pretty.
	She's purdy.
	That woman has more balls than every single man in elected office in Canada, except maybe Derek Sloan, you know, in federal politics.
	She told Biden, you want these guns?
	Come get them, baby.
	Come get my guns.
	I dare you.
	They didn't do lockdowns, not doing masks, not doing vaccine passports, none of that shit.
	South Dakota.
	It's like six hours away from here.
	Like from Windsor, Ontario, the very southern tip of the province of Ontario, for those of you in the United States, where they had that NASCAR, Indianapolis, was that where it was?
	Hours away, there was 150,000 fucking people there.
	No masks, no vaccine passports, none of that.
	But in Windsor, Ontario, no lockdown.
	We're going to lock down.
	They're not even living in reality anymore.
	They're crazy.
	They're gone in the head.
	They're either incapable or unwilling to face reality.
	That's extremely bad.
	That's extremely dangerous.
	And if we don't do anything about it, literally me and you and every, I don't, and you know, everybody wants to think somebody will, oh, somebody somewhere.
	There is no somebody somewhere.
	It's literally you and me and everyone else.
	And I'm just as much of a failure as the rest of us.
	Like, I haven't done anything.
	I'm doing this.
	I'm trying to, you know, call attention to this and galvanize and not radicalize people, but simply like, look at what's going on.
	Is this acceptable to you?
	Because no one else is pointing this out.
	CBC's not going to tell you these things.
	Does that mean they're not true?
	Of course they are.
	But they're not going to say it.
	You need all the information.
	And again, I'm going to read these in a second.
	This is why I started this in the first place.
	I joined the military when I was 16, 17 years old.
	I didn't know what the fuck I was doing.
	I didn't know anything about Zionism or the bankers or the, I didn't know any of that shit.
	All I knew is I wanted to, you know, I saw the war movies and I understood the concept of, you know, men standing up and fighting for their people and being soldiers and fighting in war and the brotherhood and the intensity of it.
	And I wanted that.
	That's all I wanted.
	That's all I gave a shit about.
	It was as simple as that.
	The rest of that stuff came later.
	And because of that ignorance and lack of true information, I was nearly killed.
	Now I don't hear anything out of the left side of my head.
	If I'm watching TV and I want to lay down and put a pillow to this ear, I can't hear the fucking TV.
	It's just, I got to, I can't lay that way.
	I can't hear anything.
	If somebody's trying to talk to me, I got to go, why?
	I got to lean in like a bird with my right ear to hear.
	I can't hear anything.
	My back hurts all the time, literally 24-7.
	It just always hurts.
	My hip is fucked up.
	My knees hurt.
	You know, I've got all this shit.
	Never mind the mental issues I've already talked about and the brain damage.
	All of that was a result of a mistake that I made because I didn't have the correct information.
	Nobody told me.
	Had someone told me, hey, 9-11 was bullshit.
	This is a giant scam.
	This is about money.
	This whole war is for money and for, you know, so we can destroy the enemies of another country that has nothing to do with us.
	This is not worth your life or even a drop of blood or your hearing or any of it.
	It's not worth it.
	I didn't know any of that.
	Too late.
	Too late for that.
	And too late for all of my friends that got fucking blown to bits and sent home in bags, bags and boxes.
	One of our vehicles got hit with an IED, six killed, eight body bags.
	There was that much body parts and guts around.
	They didn't know who was who.
	So it was like, well, who is this?
	I don't know.
	Put it in a bag.
	True story.
	Took them a while to find the one guy, the sergeant, because he was blown out of the fucking hatch kilometer in the goddamn air somewhere.
	Where'd he go?
	Well, let's go look for the dead corpse of our friend, you know.
	And so many other guys, you know, and then all the suicides after the fact.
	Because nobody, do you think any of us, if we all knew that, if we all knew what was really going on, do you think we would have decided, yeah, let's, yeah, fuck it, let's go.
	Who cares?
	You know?
	The people we were fighting were probably just as confused.
	Like, what the fuck is going on?
	I don't know, but America's here to fuck with, fuck us up now.
	Like, well, what did we do?
	I don't know.
	They're just evil.
	They're just invading and they're just blowing shit up.
	Well, that's pretty fucked up.
	I know.
	So they go and fight us.
	You know what I mean?
	Like, neither of us on either side, we're like, it's like the ants in the jar trick.
	You get the red ants and the black ants in the jar and you just shake it up and they fight each other.
	And then outside the jar, somebody's taking bets and making money on who wins.
	That's the world.
	That's how it works now.
	All these wars are fucking bullshit.
	It's a money.
	It's an industry.
	We're still in Afghanistan, for fuck's sakes.
	I could go on and on about this forever.
	But anyway, the point I'm trying to make is it's important to know all the information.
	Even if you don't like it, even if it's uncomfortable, even that's racist.
	I don't care if it's information.
	I want to know what it is.
	And then I will decide what to do with that.
	It's not your call.
	It's not up to you, Uncle Government.
	It's not up to you, Stephen or Justin or anything, or Jagmeet, Jugmeet, your Rolex wearing $25,000 suit, wearing fucking BMW driving motherfucker.
	I'm a man of the people.
	Yeah, whatever.
	Why don't you just throw on your fucking Monopoly guy suit and fuck off already?
	You're a joke.
	I'll decide what to do with that information.
	Okay?
	For you to keep that from me is criminal.
	That's what the news is supposed to do.
	It's supposed to go, here's everything that we know.
	Everything we can find on this subject.
	Here it is, as you were.
	And then we as the public are supposed to consume that and go, hmm, what do you think is going on?
	And then we'll figure it out on our own.
	That's how the news is supposed to work.
	I'm not the news.
	I'm here as a result of there not being the news.
	We have propaganda now.
	We have liars.
	We have a ministry of truth.
	And because of that, there's people like me all over the place saying the same things.
	And now they're going to try and come out and they're going to try and make it illegal to do what we're doing.
	And they're going to call it hate.
	It's hateful what you're doing.
	To be pointing out that they're liars and they're thieves and they're killers.
	Oh, no, you're a thief.
	You're a hate.
	You're hate.
	It's hate.
	Uh-huh.
	And these people at anti-fun, anti-hate, that are going to facilitate these arrests and these prosecutions with their articles and stuff, right?
	That they're going to use to get arrest warrants for us once these bills go through.
	You work for billionaires.
	You work for big pharma and the war industrial complex and the bankers and the Israelis.
	That's who you work for.
	That's what you're doing.
	You're not fighting hate.
	You're destroying political dissidents against a global system of control.
	You're a useful idiot.
	I would not want to be you.
	You know, as difficult as it is and as hard as it is on our heads, all of us collectively, to deal with this shit, I would not do anything else.
	I would not change my mind.
	If I had to go back and do it all over again, I would do it exactly the same way.
	I'm not going to change my mind.
	I'm not going to take the easy way out and be a stooge.
	Be a henchman for a bunch of criminals.
	It's.
	Yeah, anyway.
	Pumpkin Launcher says, hello.
	These go back all the way back to the beginning.
	So hello, everyone.
	I'd like to address several.
	I read that one.
	Sorry.
	This one.
	He says, a psychologist gave me this book by a dude who collaborated with writing the DSM about how evil psychiatry is and pills.
	Goodreads.com.
	The book of woe.
	Yeah, I yeah, not a big fan of psychiatry.
	Derek Knight says, as a child, my asthma was so bad, they put me on the handicap bus, claiming I would die if I walked to school.
	Went on to play junior CIS sports and coach health food exercise social for a career.
	Fucking night.
	Great story.
	Right?
	Trust the experts.
	They know better.
	The experts, oftentimes, in my experience, are not experts.
	They're just fucking people that get paid, you know, their opinion.
	Everybody's got an opinion.
	That's your opinion.
	That's your expert opinion.
	Still an opinion.
	What are you saying?
	You're never wrong.
	You can't be wrong.
	Fucking experts are wrong all the goddamn time.
	So yeah, you absolutely shouldn't just put all your, well, that guy said it.
	It must be true.
	Nope.
	One brown eye says, fuck you, Rage.
	Experience in Afghanistan may vary.
	Large double, double, please.
	Yeah, there was a meme that they banned, and it said experiences may vary in Afghanistan.
	And it was one on the top was some guys on a foot patrol where, you know, 100 pounds of gear.
	They're all covered in sweat.
	You'd get so sweaty, your socks would be soaked with sweat from your chest.
	The sweat would permeate from under your plate carrier down your arms all the way up to, it looked like you were in a pool, like soaked.
	I don't mean like a little damp.
	I mean like wring it the fuck out.
	Literally, that soaked.
	Like watery, wet, wet, wet.
	From your socks to your neck.
	You would sit down and in your fucking ginch and your underwear would be like swoosh swash like that much sweat.
	I'm not at all exaggerating.
	And then when you would dry out your uniform, you could like stand it up like it was made of sand, like clay.
	It would just and get petrified in the sun and just like you could like arrange it to look, you know, as fucked.
	So you had those guys on the top carrying all these guns, avoiding, waiting for snipers, IEDs, bombs, ambushes, this kind of thing.
	And then on the bottom, you had a couple of CAFRAs, we call them, Kandahar Airfield, people that worked in the camp.
	Very clean looking women had makeup on, had their hair done up, and they're waiting in line for their coffee.
	Experiences may vary.
	Yes, they certainly did.
	And they banned that meme because it was insulting to the women.
	They complained.
	Like, that is not fair.
	That was a symptom right then.
	Right fucking then.
	You might have nailed it.
	Somebody asked me, like, when exactly did the CF start to get fucked?
	Right then.
	Right in that exact moment.
	When that meme came out in like 2009, maybe or eight.
	Right at that time.
	Because the correct thing, so they're like, that's offensive to the poor women.
	How about showing some fucking respect to the boys that are out there being blown to bits and literally dying?
	Going home in boxes.
	They gave you everything.
	They gave you their lives.
	And you're more concerned with not hurting the feelings of a couple of bitches getting coffee.
	Taking pictures getting coffee like they fucking matter.
	Like they did anything.
	Whoopa-doo-doo.
	They could have taken their entire service and erased it from the war.
	It would have made very little difference.
	The actual war is where the bullets are going back and forth and heads are coming apart and arms are flying off and people are screaming.
	That's the war.
	You getting coffee is not the war.
	You're there to support us.
	Shut the fuck up and do your job.
	And no, they want to, no, look at me, look at me, look at me, look at me.
	And the CF took the side of the look at me people instead of those guys and went, you know what?
	No, they're right.
	Let them have their meme.
	I think they've earned a meme.
	If they've earned anything, I think they've earned that.
	A third of the battle group from fucking one RCR got wiped the fuck out.
	An A-10 strafed an entire company.
	An entire company got hit with an A-10.
	Something like 26 guys got killed on Objective Rugby in Ottomanusa.
	Warrant officers, I mean, just, there were privates that were battlefield promoted to sergeant.
	It got that insane.
	It got that insane.
	Someone who deployed on his first tour as a private, oh, gee, I hope it's crazy.
	You're a sergeant now.
	Go.
	Why?
	Everyone else is dead.
	You're now the sergeant.
	Go.
	That happened.
	That's offensive to me and my latte.
	Shut the fuck up, bitch.
	Fuck you.
	Fuck you for even complaining.
	You should have went.
	Haha.
	Yeah, that's right.
	Salute to those boys.
	Thank God we have them.
	That was the correct attitude.
	But no, we went the other way with it.
	That is the exact moment in time the Canadian forces started to die.
	That meme.
	I'm done.
	Changed my mind.
	One brown eye, you fucking nailed it.
	Biguette says, coffee's on.
	If you don't want to face the day, so yeah, I'm going to take a swing out.
	Pumpkin Launcher says, thanks for this, brother.
	This is strength.
	Thank you, sir.
	Derek Knight, don't quit.
	Keep moving.
	Small walks and talks will help even science with a dollar sign.
	That is how you spell science now.
	Dollar sign, C-I-E-N-C-E.
	Says so that most of my business model, independence, walking, talking, nutrition, and math, this community is in this together, 100%.
	Pickley from Ontario says, you can be fucked up and still keep on with a smile on your face.
	Yeah.
	Also, the other thing, too, I wanted to mention about this, you know, in case I forget Friday or whatever, this kid that, you know, ran these people over in London and they're like, he was laughing.
	He was laughing about, they just jump all over.
	White supremacists, terrorists.
	He did it on purpose.
	He was laughing.
	He blah, blah, blah.
	The first time I was shot at, okay, no, there's two stories I want to tell you.
	Because I like to do these one.
	These are easier.
	So I can just sit here and kind of calmly go through this rather than like, true doge and fucking hide from a tree.
	You know, the shit I normally do at night.
	There's two versions of this.
	So I'll go with the later one.
	The first time I got really shot at, and I mean, like, they were gunning for us.
	They were looking for heads.
	You know, I was walking along a road.
	Our lead platoon had gotten ambushed, and then our platoon got dispatched to take up right flank.
	It was four platoon, five platoon.
	I was five platoon, hotel company, to RCR.
	We used to have the banner in the office.
	If anybody here is listening from 2nd Battalion, there's a big Canadian flag.
	If it's still there, I don't know.
	Used to be in the 5-platoon headquarter office.
	And I signed it.
	We all signed it.
	My name's on there: Corporal McKenzie and a bunch of the other guys.
	So, you know, if you want to go get it and take a picture of it, it's part of bigot history.
	That is a relic that belongs in D'Agalon.
	We were walking along, so we were coming up the right flank, and they went up the left, and we took some RPG fire on the way in.
	One of them I thought hit the tank in front of me, blows the fuck up.
	Everybody hits the ground but me.
	I'm the last guy in the company because I'm in the last section, Charlie section, and I'm the number two C9 gunner.
	So I'm the very last guy in the platoon.
	I just went down on one knee, like, looking at it, fireball.
	And they were like, all right.
	And then we fucking shake off to the right and four platoon goes off to the left.
	And I remember just going by the tank, like, are they okay?
	Everyone's like, who cares?
	Go.
	I think they're dead.
	I don't know.
	It blew up on the wall next to them, but it was hard to tell.
	It looked like it fucking went right off the turret.
	And we go in there and then nothing, 10, 20 minutes.
	And then we get, and then we're going along this wall.
	There's a wall to my left and there's a tall wall to my right, like eight, nine feet.
	And there's another like four or five foot one to the left.
	And we're kind of coming along this wall and there's trees, bushes, and grapefields for like 800 meters or so.
	And there's a couple of compounds on the other side.
	And they start shooting at us from over there.
	And it's just muzzle flashes.
	And then we're just looking at it going, oh no.
	And the bushes just start exploding and there's fucking rounds hitting the walls.
	And you can hear the ricocheting off the walls.
	We fuck.
	We get down and there's RPGs sailing and they're just missing the tall wall behind us.
	They hit that wall, we're fucked because the shrapnel is going to come in and they're just straight over the top.
	And I'm like, ah, you know, am I going to jump this wall and get away from that?
	But now I'm exposed to machine gun fire.
	Oh my fuck.
	It was fucking, I was like, we are in a really bad fucking spot.
	You know, they ambush us and they said, miraculously, none of us got hit with anything.
	Some of our guys were like, did I get, you know, we couldn't believe it.
	My buddy Gerald was walking around like, seriously?
	Like, had I not, like, tracers went all through him, it looked like.
	And he's like, somehow I'm not hit.
	I don't know.
	The Matrix fucking saved him.
	But anyway, the point is, I was laughing.
	I was like, oh, boy.
	You know, it was a stress reaction.
	I wasn't having fun.
	It wasn't a happy time.
	Right?
	Like, that guy was laughing.
	That doesn't mean anything.
	He might have been stressed.
	Maybe it was an accident.
	He accidentally just ran over a bunch of people and he's like laughing.
	Like, oh, God, I just fucked up my life.
	Oh, man.
	Oh, shit.
	You know, he's just like the, your brain does weird shit, man.
	Maybe he just...
	I laugh when I'm super stressed.
	When people are trying to kill me, I laugh, which is like, I'm cool with that.
	It makes you look insane to the other people trying to kill you.
	You're like, is he laughing?
	You know, you're like, ha, ha, ha, ha.
	Like, he likes it.
	Like, no, I don't.
	It's terrifying, but it works.
	It's better than crying or, you know what I mean?
	There's many other ways it could have went.
	So I'm like, oh, great.
	I'm the laughing guy.
	That's perfect.
	Oh, that suits my personality.
	I'm good with that.
	I'm fine.
	Just tell everyone I'm insane.
	It's way more badass that way.
	Don't tell them I'm actually petrified.
	Right?
	So there's that.
	But then, and the other story, the actual very first time I ever got shot at, and I was talking to my friend Chris about that, and a lot of you guys are going to probably understand what I mean here.
	Like, we're under attack.
	Our society, our culture, we as a people, I mean, they're changing the, was it the American Psychiatric Journal saying that being whiteness is a mental condition that has no cure.
	Like, what the fuck?
	Like, Western civilization, the statues are coming down, all this stuff.
	Like, we're being attacked.
	And everyone's like, why don't they see it?
	Why don't they understand this?
	I don't get it.
	And, you know, micro, macro, meta, whatever, it's similar.
	The first time I was ever, like, they don't, it's almost disbelief, and it's easier to do nothing.
	Because to accept that that's what's happening means you have to start taking some drastic steps.
	And no one wants to do that because they're not even sure.
	They're not positive.
	Like, I'm fucking sure, and I'm positive because I've been doing this a while, but to the normie, to the regular person.
	So when I was a brand new guy, Afghanistan, I was there for a month, maybe, a couple of weeks.
	And I was in an OP at Mazamgar, the front gate of Mazamgar, if you guys that have been there, at nighttime with another guy, Dave Greenslade, who was killed later.
	He was one of the guys that went home on eight stretchers out of six people because they didn't know who was who.
	And Dave was smoking a cigarette, and we were joking about like, I don't know, you should be doing that at nighttime, you know?
	We're like, whatever.
	And nothing had happened.
	We'd been there a month.
	We'd gotten complacent.
	It was like February, right?
	And we're sitting there joking around.
	He's talking about probably some chick he was banging or something.
	The guy was basically Quagmire.
	You know what I mean?
	Like this guy was only 19, 20, but he had gotten laid already more than most men do in their lives.
	It was bananas.
	You know, he was a great kid.
	Not because of that.
	He was a funny guy, positive guy.
	It was a lot of fun to be around.
	And he had your back.
	He was a fucking solid guy.
	And he was way too young.
	And he was the only child.
	Anyway, so we're sitting up there talking.
	And then just out of the dark, pitch dark.
	We're like, what the?
	And we just get down and we're like, did somebody just fucking shoot at us, man?
	A round went between our faces through the through the tower and into the camp somewhere.
	And we just sat down for a minute or so.
	And then we kind of slowly looked up, like looked around.
	NVG's down.
	Like, I don't see anything.
	I don't know.
	Another couple minutes goes by.
	Nothing happens.
	We're like, I don't know.
	I guess I didn't know what to do.
	I was a private.
	Now, I mean, later, when you get more experienced, when you're an older, that's not what you do, guys.
	Para flares up and get on the C6 and you go, maybe he's over there.
	Maybe he's over there.
	Where you at, bitch?
	I'm going to flush you up, motherfucker.
	You're dead.
	You're dead, son.
	That's what you're supposed to do.
	Speculative fire, fucking para flares, call the OP.
	Get the boys up.
	We got somebody out here that wants to die tonight.
	That's what you're supposed to do.
	But we're like, oh, we don't want to make that call because it's, you know, what if we're wrong?
	You know, then it happens again.
	Okay.
	And we fucking go down.
	Like, okay, somebody's fucking shooting at us, man.
	We call the OP, or they call the CQ or the CP.
	And we're like, ah, yeah, we think somebody's taking shots at us up here.
	And they're like, oh, no.
	They just dismissed it.
	Like, no, a couple of nervous privates.
	You don't know what's going on.
	It's probably.
	And they said the ANP is practicing.
	They're doing some range like far away.
	And I'm like, far away?
	Like, if you'd ever been in, even if you're a hunter or something, right?
	Or sports shooter or anything, the sound when a bullet cuts through the sound barrier near you or over your head is a very, it's a loud crack, snap sound.
	And it was like, you could feel this thing cut through the air.
	You could hear it.
	There was like a with it.
	It wasn't cut the, anyway.
	Like, no, we're definitely being shot at.
	And they just dismissed it.
	And we were like, oh, well, okay.
	And then that was it.
	That was the end of the, that's the end of the story.
	We finished our shift and then two other guys came up to relieve us after an hour and we're like, oh, careful.
	Somebody might be shooting at us.
	I don't know.
	And that's kind of what it feels like in society.
	Everybody's just kind of like, like seeing the statues come down and the gender, millions of genders.
	And the media is just banning up, Muslims, Muslims, Muslims, Muslims, Muslims, Muslims.
	Like they're like 1% of Canada, aren't they?
	What is going on here?
	It's like you'd think they ran the place.
	They do fucking know.
	Half the government is not even born in the country.
	Like you're under attack.
	Like you're new, maybe.
	And other people that have combat experience from Poland, from the Czech Republic, from Eastern Europe, from Cuba, from places like this where communist regimes have taken over, from the Middle East even.
	I talked to one woman the other day from Qatar, I think, saying, like, we came here to get away from this kind of shit.
	Like, they see it plain as day, as I would see it in an ambulance.
	Like, if that was, again, do the same situation again.
	We've got a bunch of privates looking around going, what is happening?
	I was like, get the fuck down.
	You're getting shot at, dude.
	They need someone to tell them and go, oh, yeah, okay.
	That knows, right?
	I didn't know.
	I was pretty sure, but I didn't know, you know?
	Yeah, 100%.
	Like, it's not like there's a guy punching you in the face, like shows up when he's just there beating the shit out of you.
	That's easier to deal with.
	But this is a very sneaky, I mean, it's communism by the back door.
	You know, Dennis Wise has a documentary on that.
	If you want to find that, try and find it.
	Communism by the back door.
	Recommend.
	They subvert and sneak in, and it's not obvious if you're not paying attention.
	And most people aren't paying attention.
	And it's like, I feel like I'm being attacked maybe, but I'm not sure.
	You are.
	You absolutely are.
	Just like we were in that tower going, I think we're being shot at.
	We needed that sergeant to go up and go, you are.
	Get on the gun.
	You get the para flares.
	I'm getting on the radio.
	You hit those fucking mounds over there.
	And then go over there and then get over there.
	See if we can flush this fucker out.
	You know?
	It's not a very good shot.
	Anyway, that's it.
	Those are all the things I wanted to talk about today.
	So let's get rid of these and get out of here.
	We've got stuff to do.
	Bomb Attitude said I would get chastised for being early to work, ready to go, or already started working.
	Then would get shit for someone else's lack of responsibility.
	Got told I was too aggressive.
	I know, right?
	Chris Burke, how are you, man?
	He says the libs don't understand that we genuinely care and want to help.
	We do.
	We actually do care.
	They don't.
	They want me, me, me.
	They really do think that we are all just assholes who want war.
	They're so removed from reality that they can't fathom empathy.
	I know.
	the irony of it.
	What did I say the other day that I was like...
	The irony of outlawing hate while the same people doing it hate us with such a perverse and bottomless intensity that they continue to try and legislate away our very existence.
	The irony of that is just.
	We're all about peace and tolerance and acceptance, except for you.
	And we hate you so much that we're going to change the laws so that you don't exist.
	We won't stop until you're eradicated.
	You don't exist anymore.
	We don't want to see you.
	We don't want to hear from you.
	We want to fucking send you to re-education camps.
	We're going to force you to fucking...
	I've never hated anyone that intensely.
	And they hate us that, but you know what I mean?
	And they're in the government.
	That should frighten you.
	You're right to be concerned about that.
	Sean McCarney says, I'm happy I found this group.
	Finally, some people with their heads screwed on right.
	Cheers.
	Thank you, man.
	Right back at you.
	We're happy to have you.
	Pickers Montero says, to quote Jordan Peterson, you would have been a Nazi in 1936, and the people that weren't party members looked away as their neighbors were forced into ghettos.
	The same thing was repeated again and again in the 20th century.
	So be happy to be a miserable bastard who doesn't just go along.
	Yeah.
	I know I'm on the right side.
	I mean, it's unquestionable.
	You're never going to convince me otherwise because I've already made up my mind.
	I've already looked at the evidence.
	I've already done my education.
	I've already had the life experience.
	I've already seen enough to go, I know good from bad.
	I've got a good moral compass.
	I've got a good head on my shoulders.
	I know that.
	And I know right from wrong.
	And I know what they're doing is wrong.
	Very, very wrong.
	And obviously I'm going to oppose it to the end, whatever that looks like, however far they want to, however far they want to take this is however far it's going to go.
	But I'm going to be there right in their face all the way to the end.
	All rocked up says, you're helping me more than you know, even if it is not said enough.
	It always starts from the ground up.
	The community is needed and people recognize that.
	Thank you.
	Cheers, bigots and vets.
	Salute.
	Thank you, man.
	I appreciate it.
	I hope so.
	I'm glad if I am.
	War Relish89 says, shut the fuck up, Karen.
	Should have started then.
	DS Square, thank you, brother.
	And Picard from Otter says, I missed out on a tour to Afghanistan in 06. I say that, and the response is one of two things.
	One, you wanted to go.
	Are you crazy?
	What the hell's wrong with you?
	Two, you're better off for not having gone.
	You didn't miss anything or be glad you didn't go.
	But the second group understands why I wanted to go.
	100%.
	I totally get it.
	Like, we didn't know better.
	You know what I mean?
	We all wanted to go.
	You want to do your job.
	You're a soldier.
	You trained for years and years and years.
	You suffered.
	Oh, my God.
	You can't imagine the bullshit you got to put up with.
	And the odds.
	And the last time we actually had a real fight, A real combat mission was Korea.
	Really?
	There was medic pocket, you know, but and a little bit here and there in Bosnia.
	But this was the first real, like, you're going.
	And those were like, oh, they didn't expect to fight.
	Like, you're like, your job to go there is to find these people and kill them.
	That's it.
	Straight up.
	Straight the fuck up.
	This isn't peace support operations.
	This isn't peacekeeping.
	This isn't like community liaison.
	This isn't disaster relief.
	It's bring the guns, bring the boys.
	We're going to fucking stack bodies.
	Straight up.
	We're like, oh boy, oh shit.
	This is the real deal then.
	And that hadn't happened in a long time.
	It was, so yeah, everybody obviously wanted to go.
	And it's easy to lose.
	No one asked why, you know?
	Because we trusted the politicians.
	We trusted the doctors.
	We trusted the doctors.
	We trusted the doctors with the medical one.
	We trusted the politicians in the news media because if that wasn't the right thing to do, they surely they would have told us.
	But they fucking lied.
	They lied then and they lie now.
	I don't understand where your hate comes from because your lies killed my friends.
	You nearly killed me and you continue to kill with your lies.
	They're not harmless lies.
	They destroy lives.
	And now you've destroyed countless people with this lockdown shit, this Corona shit, and the lies and lies and lies and lies on top of lies.
	I fucking hate you, media.
	I hate you with a bottomless intensity.
	I will match the fucking hatred you guys have for me right back at you.
	And the politicians, every single one of you, there's nothing too bad for you.
	There's no fate too horrible that I wouldn't sign off on.
	I'd be like, yep, that's the least you deserve.
	There's not enough suffering available for any of you fucking people.
	Oh, I don't think that's true.
	Oh, it is.
	Oh, it is.
	I didn't see you in the desert.
	You're going to reap what you sow someday in this life or the next.
	You think you're not responsible for this shit?
	All the suicides now, all the cancer screenings people can't get to, all the fucking people are dying alone in their hospital.
	But somebody the other night couldn't see their family, just died alone in a hospital by themselves, can't see their family because Coronu.
	But you can have a vigil for a bunch of random fucking people.
	Social distancing.
	There were funerals happening in Ontario the same day that no one can go to.
	Only five people in a gathering because Coronu.
	The rules don't fucking apply to people equally.
	You're.
	Because you don't see it or you don't care, you don't want to look, it doesn't make you any less guilty.
	You think, I mean, geez, the same people are like, well, Hitler and the hoolikus.
	Do you think Hitler ever stepped foot in a concentration camp or saw a single execution?
	No.
	You're no less culpable.
	You're no less responsible.
	You have authority.
	You have responsibility to wield your authority correctly, and you're not.
	You're wielding it for your own personal gain.
	It's the most despicable thing you can do.
	You're scum.
	You're absolute scum.
	Scum.
	The people we killed in Afghanistan were better than you.
	Way better than you.
	Infinitely better than you.
	If I could trade all of the people we killed just on my rotation alone, which is probably in the thou over a thousand people we fucking killed, I would trade all of them for everyone in parliament right now without a drop of a hat.
	I'd let them live here as fucking migrants.
	That would be an improvement.
	That's how much I think of you.
	That's what I regard you as.
	If you're wearing a suit and tie and going into the House of Commons, some of them are veterans themselves.
	Just doing my job, just going along.
	At least those people had the balls to show up and fight us like men and not hide and say, well, it wasn't my, it was, and they did it.
	I'm just doing my job in Koronu.
	They're infinitely more valuable.
	We killed better people than you.
	What a waste.
	I would trade every single one of you for just two of my friends to come back.
	That's the trade-off.
	Hundreds of you aren't even worth one of them.
	And you get to tell us how to live, where to go, what to wear, when to be, you know.
	It's.
	Oh, yeah.
	I loathe them.
	And that's illegal soon.
	So I better get it out while I can before they come arrest me for having the wrong emotions.
	Because as if people aren't still going to feel these things.
	Like, I'm going to feel any different when you make it illegal.
	Oh, you can't say that.
	It's illegal.
	Oh, well, I guess I don't fucking hate you anymore then.
	I guess I don't.
	I guess I don't fantasize about the day where this all fucking comes apart.
	I just went away.
	I'm just happy now.
	Ha ha, happy, happy time now.
	Stephen Gilbert, I just slated it away.
	Now everyone's happy.
	Lumberjack says, is there any successful model which can reverse cultural Marxism once it has taken root in society?
	Probably, but I mean, like Yuri Bezmanov says, it's going to take generations to reverse this.
	If you started educating people right now today, if you got a hold of the entire educational system today, started educating kids like the old school way, like, no, all this stuff is crazy and wrong.
	It's going to take 20 years to turn it around for all of them to grow up and then enter the workforce and enter society and then start pulling everything back the other way.
	It's going to take 20 to 40 years.
	If you started today, like that's how bad it is.
	It's so bad.
	I mean, we're in for it, man.
	This is not going away in a year or two years or 10. This is for the rest of our lives at least.
	We're going to be fighting these people for the rest of our lives.
	And they're going to be hunting us for the rest of our lives.
	Better do you just get right with it now.
	Anyway, that was a long one.
	This was not meant to go so long.
	It is what it is.
	Guys on YouTube, enjoy.
	I hope you enjoyed it.
	Thanks for being here.
	Julia, Seven Sons, Mr. Miles, Binks, Faith, Gail, Chuck the Canuck.
	OG DFNO.
	How do you doing, man?
	He's been around a long time.
	He's an OG.
	He's one of the oldest, oldest fan supporters ever.
	Live Jay, how are you?
	Window liquor propper.
	Some of the names I get a kick out of, you know.
	But anyway.
	61 Alpha says, get off my fucking lawn.
	It is what it is.
	All right.
	I'm going to go do some stuff now.
	And just wanted to update you guys on whatever.
	Hopefully I'll be back Friday for whatever the next episode of me losing my shit is.
	you know I feel bad I didn't you know I wasn't able to do this yesterday, but I mean I just didn't uh didn't have it anyway.
	Not often that happens, but you know, I will see you then.
	Um whatever ragecast that is 130 doesn't matter.
	Doesn't matter.
	I always put the links and the updates and stuff in the telegram channel.
	If you want to join that, I would suggest that also to counteract the odds that we're gonna get banned and wiped out and you lose it, you lose contact with everybody.
	t.me slash raging dissident is a telegram channel.
	All of the links for everything is on the link tree.
	Link tr.ee slash raging dissonant, the YouTube trove, everything there, the fucking Spotify podcast link, everything's on there.
	Stickers and whatever you want.
	It's all on there.
	But the website too, you can go to ragingdissonant.tv at JMAX274 on Instagram for ranting and raving in a field with a madman.
	something called it the field the field of woe Alright, so you're allowed to feel fucked up.
	You're allowed to feel bad, but you're not allowed to give up.
	It's the only rule.
	You're not allowed to give up.
	Phyllis will stick you into one of the flags.
	Who knows where you're going to end up?
	Cheers, guys.
	Have a good day.
	And I will see you on Friday.
	Tomorrow.
	At whatever time.
	Probably eight.
	We'll be right back.
	Hopefully we don't get hacked or fucked with.
	Just think about it.
	Cheers.

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