Liv brings us a very special report from inside the brain of former Vanity Fair editor and journalist Olivia Nuzzi. You see, Liv has read Nuzzi’s book, “American Canto,” cover to cover; we know this because Travis was one of the 1200 people who purchased a hard copy – again, we apologize.
But as the gang dives deeper and deeper into the sacred text, Liv and Julian make the horrible discovery that… Nuzzi, she’s just like them! Jake and Travis remain mostly intact throughout this very silly look into the latest drama between Nuzzi, Lizza, and Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr.
Subscribe for $5 a month to get all the premium episodes: www.patreon.com/qaa
Editing by Corey Klotz. Theme by Nick Sena. Additional music by Pontus Berghe. Theme Vocals by THEY/LIVE (instagram.com/theyylivve / sptfy.com/QrDm). Cover Art by Pedro Correa: (pedrocorrea.com)
qaapodcast.com
QAA was known as the QAnon Anonymous podcast.
As always, we are your host, Jake Rockatansky, Julian Field, Liv Agar, and Travis View.
I woke up on Monday a few hours later than I had hoped.
I had been up a bit too late because I was out drinking with friends the night before, mourning the fact that one of my favorite situationships had broken it off a few days earlier.
It was the sound of sirens that finally shook me out of my drunken slumber.
Something to be expected while living in downtown Vancouver, especially considering the earphones I used to sleep had fallen off during the night.
I immediately checked my phone.
Two missed calls.
They had been from Mario, a forgetful plumber my landlord had hired to fix my washer unit's cold water valve.
And yes, his name is literally Mario.
I was about to say, like, is this like a Julian intro where it's like a kind of reverie?
Like, you have an actual Mario plumber?
I'm giving a T-Raw here.
This is all real things that happened to me.
I was about to be like, is Mario the situationship?
No, the situation ship is obvious.
It's like, you know, I mean, a type of chaos that I relate to extremely well.
Where you're like, man, I just walked away from something very painful and I'm already in a new thing.
Yeah.
Who has the time to recover or think about what we've done or stick and move?
It's like a shark.
You keep going.
Come on, come on.
Which is so funny because I'm the exact opposite.
Like, the only way I can stay alive is by floating still and being dead.
Well, I'm not convinced that life is worth living unless there's a bunch of exciting stuff.
Like, if I stay still too long, I'm like, wait, why am I even alive?
Oh, it's so funny.
I'm the exact opposite.
I need to stay still.
I'm like a starfish.
I look like I'm sitting in one spot.
But if you do, what do they call it when they speed up the, but if you do time-lapse photography, you can see me slowly get up.
No, he doesn't get up, but there's like little bubbles escape like the edge of him or something like that.
I love how you guys have already derailed.
Yeah, we've derailed it.
I'm going to derail it further.
The Australians call a girl who like doesn't do anything in bed, who just like lays back.
What?
Yeah, that's the starfish.
They call him a starfish?
I feel like they call that bed.
Do you just like let stuff happen to you?
He's doing a starfish, folks.
You can't see it, but it's so good.
I'm doing a visual bit on our podcast, folks.
Anyways, usually I say, Travis, take us away, but Liv, please take us away.
My plumber Mario made up for it the next day by accidentally turning on the washing unit before connecting the water hose to the plumbing system, flooding a small section of my living room.
So like, who, like, what, like, was the plumber like played by like Lexington Steele or like James Dean or something?
Like, what are we doing here?
Did you get stuck in the dryer again, Liv?
No, the plumber did does genuinely look like, you know, that like live-action Mario movie from the 90s?
Absolutely.
Like, it's just Mario.
Yeah.
Like, it's just, you know, it's a small old Italian man who's also forgetful.
He's also aloof.
He had to come back the next day because as soon as he opened one of your pipes, he like went down it.
Like, he jumped down it.
And he came back with a lot of coins.
Both cases, he was sincerely apologetic about his mistakes.
I'd have been grateful for that.
I am a so a sorry, Lev.
Oh, well, actually, you're allowed.
Yeah, I'm a wop.
Yeah.
Yet the image of me on the floor of my apartment soaking up water with a towel while he was leaving felt emblematic of the general relationship I have to men in my life.
Right.
They leave big puddles.
Yeah, exactly.
They fuck up your plumbing.
Got it.
Oh, they lay pipes?
You're saying all the men lay pipes?
Just as I had been grateful to Mario, I had been grateful to my former situation ship for being forward about his emotional unavailability a few days before.
well live like dates like clint eastwood like silent types and they're usually republican oh yeah no this is this whole thing is about how nazi is just like me oh Oh my god.
Uh-oh, we just found out that Liv made music when she was 16.
Uh-oh.
My situation ship decided to break off our dalliance in a crowded coffee shop.
We were surrounded by other people who were surely eavesdropping on a conversation.
I'd wondered why this couldn't have been done through text message.
I just feel like I'm too busy with work to really make a relationship work right now, and I know that if we keep trying, it'll create conflict and just lead to you suffering.
It was a standard line.
I'd heard it before, and I had myself given it to others.
I wasn't too upset.
He was nice, but I saw it coming.
More importantly, I had appreciated his lack of honesty.
He asked me if I wanted to have coffee and talk.
I told him no.
We both laughed.
I walked away.
It was Frederick Nietzsche that once wrote that every injury has its equivalence, which can be paid in compensation, if only through the pain of the person who injures.
I guess sometimes all you can expect from men is that they feel some amount of guilt for the troubles they've caused you.
Ideally, an amount equal to your own pain.
But it's hard to be so hopeful.
But that was on Friday.
Depends, depends on the guy.
Depends.
Well, while it was happening, was it fun?
Was it cool?
While I was being, while he was breaking it off?
No, while you were like in the relationship.
So then, you know, I have no feelings.
The way I think about breakups sometimes is like I'm like, 5% of this relationship was awkward.
The rest was fucking cool.
That's how I feel.
This is only a thing that happened because it was in.
I'm only putting this because it's embarrassing to me.
You'll see in a second how this connects.
But that was on Friday.
By Monday, the aching pain of rejection had dulled to a feeling that was faint enough to completely tune out through my regular morning activities.
I'd become an expert at doing this, not merely because of discomfort sourced from interpersonal conflict, but also due to the constant background hum of political controversy driven by Donald Trump's reascension into the Oval Office.
Despite not even being a citizen or resident of the United States, Trump somehow managed to cause a great deal of discomfort in my life.
And similar to the pain caused by the men I knew personally, sometimes it feels as if the only revenge one could possibly exact against him is driven by how miserable it must be for someone like him to deal with the consequences of holding power over sore money.
Yeah.
More importantly, I'd received a message from Travis View on Signal.
Let me know if you received the book.
It's telling me it was delivered.
It's at that moment I had remembered a task I had been assigned for work that I'd been putting off because of my emotional troubles.
Olivia Nuzzy, the former political journalist who had been flamed all across the internet for sexting RFK Jr. after profiling him, had written a book.
Day fucked.
Have you read those?
No, yeah.
He's like, I'm filling up your pussy with white seed.
Oh, no, straight up.
No, no, no.
It's Drink and Come, actually, is the poem.
Is the poem specifically dedicated to...
The poem was called Slurp It Up.
Slurp.
Slurp It Up in brackets Slurp.
Nuzzi had just written a book, and I had promised to review it.
I checked outside my door, and sure enough, there it was.
So basically, Travis was one of the 1,200 people that contributed, essentially kind of kick-started or funded Olivia Nuzzi's book, because it didn't sell very well.
So you kind of, unfortunately, there were so few people buying it, Travis, that like now you're kind of like a public figure.
Like your name is in the thanks, like all that shit.
Yeah, yeah.
There's a memorial being built.
Yes, she reads your name is in a list of the thousand, you know, the thousand twelve that she reads at the end of the audiobook.
Yeah, I want to be clear, though.
I initially attempted to arrange for Liv to be able to read the book without actually purchasing it, the method of which I will not specify.
But what a mystery.
Did you use the intranet?
I couldn't say, but you know, it's like, yeah, I think sometimes it's easier to read a physical copy.
I want to be clear.
Whenever we get books, review books, or like talk to authors, I purchase the book, even if I get an advanced reader copy, because I believe that, you know, there are maybe two dozen people who read new books anymore.
And I feel like we should support the people who still produce it.
But in this case, yeah, I didn't feel bad about, you know, seeking alternate means to acquire the information in the book.
Yeah, I have a Gorka book on my shelf.
But I did notice, like, worse than funding Olivia Nuzzy on purpose because you like her writing and her, I saw that you were the executive producer of Jailbait, the song that she made when she was 16.
Travis, how did your name end up in that video?
You've been listening to a sample of a premium episode of the QAA podcast.
For access to the full episode, as well as all past premium episodes and all of our podcast miniseries, go to patreon.com slash QAA.
Travis, why is that such a good deal?
Well, Jake, you get hundreds of additional episodes of the QAA podcast for just $5 per month.
For that very low price, you get access to over 200 premium episodes, plus all of our miniseries.
That includes 10 episodes of Man Clan with Julian and Nanny, 10 episodes of Perverse with Julian and Liv, 10 episodes of The Spectral Voyager with Jake and Brad, plus 20 episodes of Trickle Down with me, Travis View.
It's a bounty of content and the best deal in podcasting.
Travis, for once, I agree with you.
And I also agree that people could subscribe by going to patreon.com slash QA.
Well, that's not an opinion.
It's a fact.
You're so right, Jake.
We love and appreciate all of our listeners.
Yes, we do.
And Travis is actually crying right now, I think, out of gratitude, maybe?