Attention shoppers! We here at QSN are THRILLED to showcase a staggering collection of incredible products for you and your pilled loved ones. With the holidays right around the corner, there’s no better time than NOW to shower your friends and family with gifts that will no doubt spark some playful debate! Whether they’re into owning the libs via confusing t-shirt slogans or healing what ails them with a zero point energy wand – QSN has got you covered. Stay tuned for additional products, celebrity collaborations, and don’t forget that the QAA podcast is not affiliated with QSN in any way, shape or form.
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Editing by Corey Klotz. Theme by Nick Sena. Additional music by Pontus Berghe. Theme Vocals by THEY/LIVE (https://instagram.com/theyylivve / https://sptfy.com/QrDm). Cover Art by Pedro Correa: (https://pedrocorrea.com)
https://qaapodcast.com
QAA was formally known as Qanon Anonymous.
As always, we're your hosts, Jake Rokitansky, Julian Fields, and Travis View.
QSN!
Well, well, well, just when you thought the channel was taken off the air and cable was a thing of the past.
Here I am to tell you that we are going to help you spend your money on the finest QAnon-adjacent, red pill-influenced, tasty and flavorful morsels of consumer goods.
QSN!
QSN is not affiliated with the QAA podcast in any shape or form.
Yes, that's right.
If you are a new listener, you may not know this, but we have been running a shopping network for a very long time.
I think this is probably the fifth episode, and it was our pleasure to delve into the murky online outlets such as Etsy and other very unknown outlets to bring you some of the most unhinged and, let's be honest, sometimes horrible.
And we fully expect you to send us money and wait patiently for years, maybe decades, to receive anything in return.
We will put the Venmo in the links at the bottom.
And it'll be my Venmo, not Jake's or Travis's.
This is all my profit.
And now to wash your brain of what we just said very quickly, an upstanding citizen that you know as Travis, but here he is, really fucking casting off the clothing of a good Samaritan, casting off the clothing of a fact-based individual to shill directly to you some of the finest products he could find.
Travis?
Yeah, you know, I actually just have one for you, because this wound up being kind of a bigger rabbit hole than I expected when I first started looking into it.
Because it's a product that, I don't know, I don't know if I'm going to start a red scare here, but it's very, very strange about where this came from.
So, I guess a little background.
So, like, you know, in our recent episode with RFK Jr., we talked about how, like, the offering of health cures to people who are desperate is, like, one of the most durable grifts in human history.
False.
That is a great business.
And it is a crucial part of our economy.
QSN!
So, you just need a thing that people can use in some way.
And a story about what forces will allow the thing to restore human health.
And this technique works so well that you can literally gross, like, millions of dollars by, like, selling magic wands.
Hey, you're telling me, Travis.
I've been using that stuff non-stop.
In fact, when people knock on my bedroom door, all they hear is, and I guess once in a while, Sorry.
So this principle was used by manufacturers and sellers of what's called the Zero Point Energy Wand.
It's also called the Zero Point Energy Wand Pen because it looks just like a shiny metal ballpoint pen.
It turns your credit score to zero immediately if you purchase it.
Zero points.
It even includes a clip like a metal pen, and it tapers to one end where you'd expect a ballpoint tip to come out, but it's just this close, rounded end.
Now, on first glance, it's just a, like, a handheld stainless steel tube.
Literally just a tube that you can put in your pocket.
Yeah, this very much looks exactly like a pen, except there doesn't appear to be the little ink tip.
Yeah.
So they've removed just the tip.
It looks like a space pen, if you're familiar with it.
Oh, yeah, yeah, you can write upside down.
It's kind of those thin silver, you can write upside down, you can write underwater.
I have to wonder if this was purchased in bulk from a pen factory that was like, oh, we made up the machine malfunctioned and we printed out 10,000 of these pens, but they've got no hole for the ink one to come through.
The pens have no urethra, sir.
Immediately sell it to the grifter market.
It does look like a kind of sharper image or like SkyMall product.
It does have a nice case to go with it, which oftentimes will be the deciding factor of whether I buy something or not, is does it come with kind of a fancy looking case?
I can see that this one does, and therefore I'm interested.
The only thing I don't like about this, Travis, because I love this product.
I am so excited about this product, and you listeners should definitely invest in multiple of these products and give them to all your friends and family at Christmas.
But the only thing I don't like is that you're going to blame it on communism somehow?
What is this Red Scare stuff?
Not really.
Okay, good, good, good.
So, to people who believe in it, this zero-point energy wand has just revolutionary uses.
Here's how it's described on one website that sells the pens for $40.
Zero-point energy wand usages.
Discharge energy blockages in your body.
Energize all foods and liquids.
Wand anything with water in it and notice the increased taste and vibrancy.
Put the wand in your fridge.
What?
Put the wand in your fridge, increase the life and taste of everything in it.
Supports the self-healing process in the body.
Relieve a variety of injuries and long-standing aches and pains.
Neutralize free radicals in your body.
Okay, so based on the middle claim here that you put the wand in your fridge and it increases the life and taste of everything in it.
I can only imagine that the self-healing process in the body involves taking this pen and shoving it directly up your ass.
I mean, that's a possibility.
If you have any rectal pain, you know, that'd be one solution.
Well, if you have it just jammed up there, it's kind of like emanating outward.
It just like makes sure that you're good in the fridge of your body.
Have you ever opened the fridge door of your body and really just shoved something in there?
Yeah, I saw like two dogs and like an ancient Mesopotamian god inside of mine.
He did it again, folks.
And I won't even mention what he did again because I don't want to encourage him.
This wand was brought into the world through the multi-level marketing company called Omega Global.
Now, the company was based in Singapore and it sold this energy wand, which was originally called AM wand or AM wand, alongside a few other energy-related products.
And in 2010, they introduced their products into the American and Canadian markets.
Now, of course, with all MLM products, individuals who sell the product, they sell to others, and they also sell others on selling the product for them as well.
So here's the sales pitch from a website operated from one so-called independent distributor who tried to get on the ground floor.
You are among the first in North America to know about this four-year-old company which has a huge following in Asia and has now opened in North America with products that will make everyone sit up and take notice.
What's in the wand and how does it work?
It's a proprietary secret, of course, that seven scientists from around the world work together to create.
The wand essentially "tunes" into zero-point energy and focuses that energy to the area of the body where you "wand" it.
What is it?
They use a proprietary process that blends a combination of granulated minerals created by a technology called Amized fusion registered.
This proprietary technology resonates at what is called zero-point energy.
These minerals are fused into a small pen-shaped wand that allows it to be applied to the body.
It's so awesome that, like, seven scientists developed this and we still used a generic pen-shaped mold in, like, in the factory.
Amiga Global is not responsible for your pen not working.
I'm pretty sure Steve Jobs saved his own life with his pen.
You've been listening to a sample of a premium episode of the QAA podcast.
For access to the full episode, as well as all past premium episodes and all of our podcast miniseries, go to patreon.com slash QAA.
Travis, why is that such a good deal?
Well, Jake, you get hundreds of additional episodes of the QAA podcast for just $5 per month.
For that very low price, you get access to over 200 premium episodes, plus all of our miniseries.
That includes 10 episodes of ManClan with Julian and Annie, 10 episodes of Perverts with Julian and Liv, 10 episodes of The Spectral Voyager with Jake and Brad, plus 20 episodes of Trickle Down with ManClan.
Travis, for once, I agree with you.
And I also agree that people could subscribe by going to patreon.com slash QAA.
