Matthew Johnson was a once respected clinical psychologist, best-selling parenting author, and national media guest. Then he saw something strange in the woods that shattered his worldview. Brad is back following a decades-long descent into the strangest corner of the American fringe: a secretive Bigfoot research site, telepathic communication with beings of light, a spiritual war against evil forces, an elder named Zorth, and eventually, prophecies involving Donald Trump. This is the bizarre saga of Team Squatchin USA - a story that starts with a poop break in the woods of Oregon, and ends with a licensed therapist who’s been accused of starting a Sasquatch cult.
Subscribe for $5 a month to get all the premium episodes: www.patreon.com/qaa
Brad Abrahams:
https://x.com/LoveAndSaucers // https://www.instagram.com/bradwtf/
Editing by Corey Klotz. Theme by Nick Sena. Additional music by Pontus Berghe. Theme Vocals by THEY/LIVE (https://instagram.com/theyylivve / https://sptfy.com/QrDm). Cover Art by Pedro Correa: (https://pedrocorrea.com)
https://qaapodcast.com
QAA was known as the QAnon Anonymous podcast.
Welcome to the QAA Podcast Premium Episode 289, Psychic Sasquatch for Trump.
As always, we are your hosts, Jake Rakitansky, Brad Abrahams, Julian Field, and Travis View.
Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.
Batman.
Sherlock Holmes, as quoted by Matthew Johnson.
Layers here.
Yes, oh yes.
The world is a mess.
Each day our senses are oversaturated with fresh horrors.
Besides the obvious geopolitics, even personal hobbies and interests have become hopelessly hyper-partisan.
Being in shape means having a megabody, according to the New York Times.
Being skeptical of a laundry list of chemicals and food now makes you maha.
And caring about basic human rights and due process means you're a leftist cuck.
Few domains have escaped the toxic tribalism, even the fringe and fun ones.
Being interested in UFOs and extraterrestrial life used to be one of them.
It was an interest we could all enjoy, unencumbered by the political spectrum.
Now, UFO conferences are overrun with overt racism and Trumpism.
Only one fringe hobby remains.
The sphere of cryptozoology.
How do we all feel about Bigfoot here and the field of cryptozoology?
Love it.
I mean, I think they're a good time.
Good time overall.
What about you, Travis?
You're kind of the closest to living a frontier Bigfoot hunting life, I feel like.
I mean, I see where it comes from.
The woods are very mysterious and dark, and sometimes you see things that are moving that you think is something you recognize, like a deer or a jackrabbit, but you can never be sure.
Yeah, yeah.
Dude, Travis has seen a Sasquatch.
He sees one every fucking time he looks above the sink in the bathroom.
I think what Travis just said should be like the quote at the beginning of a Bigfoot novel.
Like, this is great.
This is a great quote.
It is always alarming when like, I mean, there's that guy who claims he's being raped like over and over by like females.
Yeah, but that's a bit.
That guy's, that's a bit.
It's a bit?
It is.
He's amazing.
Yeah, he has a lot of different characters.
Oh, interesting.
All right.
Well, look at me falling for fake news.
Though often considered both fringe and kooky.
It's also harmless.
It's one of the few pursuits, other than militias, that gets people to enjoy the great outdoors and gets them interested in environmental and wildlife conservation.
Oh my god, that's so depressing.
The two American outdoor sports, Sasquatch hunting and militia forming.
I can't think of another.
A Bigfooter once told me, It's camping with a purpose.
Nice.
That's awesome.
Fuck yeah.
There are those in the field that take a strict flesh-and-blood zoological approach.
That it's, in the case of Bigfoot, A heretofore, undocumented, bipedal species of great ape that still walks among us.
A popular contender is Gigantopithecus blacki, the largest known ape, which stood upwards of 3 meters or 10 feet tall, which may have lived up to as recently as 100,000 years ago.
That's interesting because that does mean that human beings and this giant ape coexisted on the same planet.
Exactly.
Okay, but the idea here is that there's a monkey, as an ape, sorry.
There's an ape that's bigger than every ape on Earth by like, almost like multiples, and it's also the best at hiding.
Yes.
Yes.
That's a tall order right there.
Yeah, this is like a high-level Monster Hunter-type quest.
He's both like a ninja and the biggest lumbering dumbass on Earth.
That's awesome.
So this special effects artist, he was tasked with recreating what Blackie would have looked like and have reproduced it here.
Wait, why did they call it Blackie?
That's not great.
It's just the name.
Okay, well, that's not great.
No, it's not.
What happened here?
What happened there?
Same thing, but I was just waiting for Julian to say it instead.
Why don't you describe what Gigantopithecus looked like?
It's beautiful.
I mean, it really looks like a giant yeti kind of holding his big furry paw on the shoulder of a proud man, a proud creator.
And actually, the ape has his other hand going up into the trees as if he's sort of leaning to it like a chill guy.
And here's fresh-faced QAA correspondent Brad Abrahams, 10 years ago, posed in front of a much cruder model of Blackie in San Diego.
I'm sorry, but you have not changed in one.
I don't believe you age.
Like we said, it's those Ashkenazi genes.
Your middle name should be Madame Tussauds.
I have the Ashkenazi genes, and I'm getting older every time I look in the mirror.
Okay, but if you compare your diets, I'm pretty sure we can see a difference.
Well...
Yeah, Brad, actually, will you send me a printout?
Sure.
Of your diet?
Jake's gonna adopt it.
I am.
On the other side of the Bigfooter spectrum are those that theorize the creature as something much more mysterious.
It may be an interloper from another dimension, or a species of extraterrestrial, perhaps a spectral ghost-like entity, or even a thought form.
Traditional cryptozoologists cannot stand this shit, considering it woo that's beyond the pale.
That's so awesome.
They're like, no, we're not just being like, did you hear that?
Did you hear that?
Did you hear that?
And then putting it together as a video.
There has to be something we might have heard that also exists physically and definitely will find one of these days.
But wherever you find yourself on this spectrum, Bigfooting has remained a sacred, non-political pursuit.
Okay, Brad, you've been insisting on this way too much, and I know this is a setup.
Like, it's absolutely a setup.
You're about to be like, until now, everything's fucked.
The last pure thing is fucked.
Great.
Until I received a DM from one of our wonderful listeners.
Now, I love listener-inspired eps, and they usually turn out to be some of our most cursed material.
The Volk Mind Virus and Umomania come to mind.
But this particular message sent me falling down a confounding and irritating rabbit hole that I may never climb out of again.
To paraphrase this message: Hey Brad!
Have you ever looked into the Facebook group Team Squatchin' USA?
The group is run by a guy who goes by Dr. Matthew Johnson, and his Bigfoot group definitely leans more towards the cult side of the field.
He takes members on private expeditions, and they come back singing their praises of Johnson and their encounters.
I left the group quite a few years ago, but it seems to continue on.
I love how many of our listeners are like, yep, used to be one of them.
Yeah, I left the group quite a few years ago.
It was a bit ominous, I thought.
This reminds me of when I was a junior or senior in high school and a bunch of kids disappeared and then they came back with big necklaces and stuff and they were really into Jesus and they were really good friends with other people who had been on their weird little Christian field trip.
Christian birthright.
Yes.
Now, whenever I hear about a group being labeled a cult, I'm immediately skeptical.
The term is grossly overused and usually not appropriate.
But the further I dug, the more appropriate, in this case, it seemed to be.
And if there is indeed a Sasquatch cult, even if only tenuously, it's my duty to report it to the listeners.
Also, because of some particular and unfortunate claims and actions of this group, I feel they're fair game for this investigation.
Here's a clip of Dr. Matthew Johnson to whet your appetite.
I've thought it through.
Demons are spiritual beings that have to possess a body.
That does not describe the squatches.
Demons do not have families.
They don't pop out kids.
They don't live in family groups belonging to clans.
Squatches do.
Demons don't have the ability to heal.
Squatches do.
Demons can't be people of faith in Jesus Christ, but Squatches can and apparently are.
And I asked the Squatches a series of questions, ending with the last two questions.
Do you believe in God?
Do you believe Jesus is the Son of God?
And they responded, we do believe.
I have that recorded.
It's on my SoundCloud files.
So, I know what you're all thinking, if you guys want to read out your own mental...
No, see, this is you.
You have this weird format where you're like, not only you're sadistic to the listener, you set them up for the fall, but now you're like putting words in our mouths?
Just read them.
All right, okay.
Really, Brad?
Doesn't this man just have a mental illness?
Or...
Isn't he just trolling or grifting?
You've made us some real dumbasses, by the way.
Thank you.
You've been listening to a sample of a premium episode of the QAA podcast.
For access to the full episode, as well as all past premium episodes and all of our podcast miniseries, go to patreon.com slash QAA.
Travis, why is that such a good deal?
Well, Jake, you get hundreds of additional episodes of the QAA podcast for just $5 per month.
For that very low price, you get access to over 200 premium episodes, plus all of our miniseries.
That includes 10 episodes of Man Clan with Julian and Annie, 10 episodes of Perverts with Julian and Liv, 10 episodes of The Spectral Voyager with Jake and Brad, plus 20 episodes of Trickle Down with ManClan.
Travis, for once, I agree with you.
And I also agree that people could subscribe by going to patreon.com slash QAA.
