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March 16, 2025 - QAA

01:21:06

Binders Full of Epstein (E315)

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	Thank you.
	If you're hearing this, well done.
	You found a way to connect to the internet.
	Welcome to the QAA Podcast, Episode 315, Binders Full of Epstein.
	As always, we are your hosts, Jake Rokotansky, Liv Agar, Julian Fields, and Travis View.
	As expected, the second Trump administration is harming people in a lot of material ways.
	There's the pointless and costly tariffs, the violation of civil liberties, the stripping down of public services and what little regulatory systems we had.
	But to add insult to injury, all of this is paired with dark spectacles that Paul Verhoeven would reject for being too grotesque and nihilistic for his films.
	Wait, so you just want the thunder but no lightning?
	I mean, it's just...
	I don't know.
	It's just ugliness all around.
	It spun you out so bad that you're making episode titles that are references to the Romney campaign, showing both your age and how nerdy politically you've been for a long time.
	It was actually my pitch, by the way, so if you must aim your anger, you can aim it towards me.
	Jake, you always tell me not to do that.
	The last few episodes, I'm trying my absolute best.
	You're telling me to aim at you?
	Okay, fine.
	Yeah, just for that joke, not for the rest of the episode.
	For example, a couple weeks ago, the DOJ tried to publicize the release of information about prolific child sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein by partnering with social media influencers.
	But they released no new information and the stunt failed so spectacularly that it led to a lot of damage control and finger pointing.
	That's so...
	I just love it, dude.
	Imagine, like, UFO D-class, but, like...
	The server just goes down or something.
	Just having these big moments, it's like, oh, it's the storm and it would have happened if we hadn't had a three-day issue with our Microsoft networking.
	Yeah, exactly.
	It's like, D-class, here it comes.
	They're like, oh, wait, actually, these are the pictures of somebody throwing a hat into the air.
	Like, we published the wrong ones.
	Fuck, we mixed them up.
	I think one difference between Trump 1 and 2 is that the people in his cabinet now have especially...
	Yeah, and I think like...
	Being cruel and evil is pretty much all they're good at.
	So if you try to do anything else, you know, there's just like, oh, this doesn't come naturally.
	And like you said, no instinct for it.
	Yeah, like talking about why sex trafficking is wrong, they can only do through like a cruel way of like, we're going to punish gay people or whatever.
	I wouldn't actually have to do anything concretely like positive about actual sex trafficking.
	It's like, no, they don't.
	They have no clue.
	All that's left is like the bottom of the barrel.
	Anybody who has like any shred of...
	I think he has self-selected finally for the haters.
	Like, the losers kind of was like the first term.
	This is like the haters term.
	Yeah, I think I saw a tweet recently I liked, which is that Trump's big innovation is that he did his administration first as farce and then as tragedy.
	Yeah, it is very funny.
	It feels a lot like his nominations were like, hey, just like the room full of people who've supported him throughout or who've paid into the big system or whatever internal Bernie Madoff system he has set up.
	And he's just yelling out like, okay, who wants to...
	Fucking take care of the FBI, you know?
	And it's just like whoever wants to destroy an institution most is just like, me, me, sir, sir.
	I said I would flatten it with a big steamroller.
	So yeah, we're going to talk about this unfolding failed attempt to release new information about Epstein.
	And then at the end, as a treat, Jake has a new story for us, which I'm looking forward to.
	Let's go.
	We're not dead.
	I'm not dead.
	We're back.
	That's an incredibly low bar to clear, Jake.
	I'm not dead.
	Not yet.
	Not yet.
	We're not done having fun yet.
	Yeah.
	Conspiracists often fancy themselves as clear-eyed realists who understand the dark nature of power.
	You know, they're not like those naive normies who trust people at the top of the pyramid and buy the official line on every major world event.
	They understand that the world is actually far more corrupt and the elites are far more malicious than your average CNN viewer could possibly imagine.
	I'm certainly sympathetic to the view that the world is governed by a great deal of malice and corruption, but sometimes I think that conspiracists are actually far more naive than your average voter.
	This can be seen most clearly when they become convinced that the disclosure of long-held information is imminent.
	They believe that exposing the full depravity of powerful corruption is as simple as declassifying a few documents hidden deep inside some rusty file cabinet.
	While that certainly can happen, and there are historical examples where disclosure of government documents revealed the evil deeds of powerful people, there's just no guarantee that it's actually going to happen in every instance.
	And while it's always noble to push for greater transparency, there's also no guarantee that transparency will automatically lead to greater clarity.
	And even that, like, greater clarity will lead to any sort of powerful people being held accountable.
	Any sort of change in that structure.
	Yeah, yeah.
	They have this strange, naive belief that, like, well, we're going to expose the evilness and then we will vanquish the evil people by sending them to Gitmo or whatever.
	We'll make them go away because everyone will know how evil they are.
	But no, someone can be evil and we can all know how evil they are and they can still be very, very powerful.
	I like that.
	That you believe in nothing, you know?
	You're like, guys, we're just never gonna find out what was on those DVDs in that safe that were labeled with, you know, people's names.
	We're just, like, give up, okay?
	I'm not saying give up.
	I'm saying it's not a guarantee.
	No, that's, well, that's an easy, impossible to disprove if you're gonna state it that way.
	Travis has achieved, like, the ultimate sort of, like, measure of a human being, which is to be satisfied while not being sure of anything.
	It's actually, like...
	It's actually, like, quite incredible.
	Like, people should be writing books, like, just about how to...
	People pay thousands of dollars in therapy bills, like, just to achieve that level of, like, well, it's not guaranteed with a smile on his face and genuine instead of being like, well, nothing's fucking guaranteed, which is where I'm at and Julian, I think, is at most of the time.
	To cite one major example of conspiracist optimism, I think it requires a massive amount of positive thinking to believe that the Trump administration will release all available government information on Jeffrey Epstein.
	This is in light of the fact that Trump once said of Epstein, quote, terrific guy, he's a lot of fun to be with, and Epstein once claimed in a recorded conversation, quote, I was Donald's closest friend for 10 years.
	It really is interesting, like, how much of a Trump true believer you have to be to actually want the Epstein files to be fully...
	May I play the devil's advocate and say that I think your more savvy Epstein declass person would be hoping that Trump, out of spite, releases parts that we have not seen or like...
	Part of evidence that we have not seen.
	And we're basically going to catch it like a stray bullet that he's shooting at his enemy, right?
	So that's all we can hope for, is little bits of truth as elites weaponize information against each other.
	When you think about it, Trump's election means that Bill Clinton is the president with the second closest association with Epstein.
	So, a cynical person might conclude that we are not going to get the full story on Epstein so long as Trump is president, if it's ever going to happen.
	But for some reason, lots of conspiracists seem to think that he's the man who's going to reveal everything the government has on file and blow the lid on elite sex trafficking.
	Instead of Corn Pop, he should have been talking about Jeff Epp, because he's not on the flight logs.
	Come on, Mr. Biden.
	You still have minus two months.
	Now, so far at least, you'd be vindicated in being skeptical that this administration is going to release any new, interesting Epstein information, because despite the fact that Trump has claimed he would release government files, there haven't been any interesting bombshells yet.
	Back in July of 2024, when Trump was just a candidate, he said during an interview that he would be willing to disclose government information about 9-11, JFK, and Epstein, though he seemed to be slightly hesitant on full disclosure on Epstein.
	Interesting.
	I got you.
	I got you for clips.
	Hold on.
	It's number one.
	Is this top of the list?
	I didn't mean that in a rude way.
	I know you meant it genuinely.
	Liv is a high-level computer user.
	She would be 2x-ing all your behavior, so she's trying to accelerate the video of you doing stuff faster.
	Liv isn't just driving you absolutely nuts if my mouse is like this.
	When someone tries to use my computer next to me, it's like I'm being tortured.
	Would you declassify the 9-11 files?
	Yeah.
	Would you declassify JFK files?
	Yeah.
	I did.
	I did a lot of it.
	Would you declassify the Epstein files?
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	I guess I would.
	Dude.
	I think less so because, you know, you don't know.
	You don't want to affect people's lives if it's phony stuff in there because there's a lot of phony stuff with that whole world.
	But I think I would.
	There's a lot of false allegations that Epstein is making in his private...
	Records.
	Like SNL couldn't have made a better joke about, you know, if they were spoofing this scene.
	Yeah.
	Also in 2024, now FBI Director Cash Patel indicated that Trump would reveal Epstein information on day one.
	Hell yes.
	I think...
	President Trump's strongest point.
	I think he said this publicly.
	He's like, he's going to have one of these offices or commissions that puts this stuff out.
	And everyone can request information and be like, hey, I want the Bay of Pigs information out.
	I want the whatever documents out.
	And I think that's the way to do it.
	The Epstein documents.
	Right.
	Well, the Epstein Black Book.
	Wait, this moron is reinventing FOIA? I know.
	This absolute fucking dunce is like, yeah, so it would be like people could just request for information and then...
	You can do it on Truth Social instead of an official document.
	You can now use emojis in your request.
	It's crazy to watch this video and see what just kind of looks like your average conspiracy right-wing podcast.
	But then look at one of the guys and be like, that's the head of the FBI also.
	Did anyone else see, like, the news that said he wanted to run the FBI just, like, from his, like, place?
	Like, he's just, he refuses to move to, like, a new city to be at the head of the entire FBI. He wants to work from home.
	Yeah.
	He's like, is it okay if I do it on my goon cave, like, six screen monitor?
	I feel like it's already kind of like a situation room.
	No.
	He wants to retain the flexibility of a podcaster.
	He wants to retain his semen.
	He wants to retain the flexibility.
	I bet Patel must have the fucking best browser history.
	Just fire after fire.
	And after Trump won, Attorney General Pam Bondi even suggested that she would declassify information about Epstein clients.
	This is something Donald Trump has talked about.
	The DOJ may be releasing the list of Jeffrey Epstein's clients?
	Will that really happen?
	It's sitting on my desk right now to review.
	That's been a directive by President Trump.
	I'm reviewing that.
	I'm reviewing JFK files, MLK files.
	That's all in the process of being reviewed because that was done at the directive of the president from all of these agencies.
	So have you seen anything that you said, oh, my gosh?
	Not yet.
	Awesome.
	Yeah, right.
	But still, sitting at her desk, ready to go.
	They just, because everyone, they all like, their brains are just like stock images or whatever, or like, you know, really bad movie scenes.
	It's just like, they can't describe anything like what is actually happening because it's way too complex and like...
	Chaotic, you know?
	You can't just pull the file.
	But I wish you could.
	I mean, if they really fucking did this thing, don't you think they created a failsafe so if a president comes in that could just, like, push the declass button, it would be as hard and complicated and weird as possible?
	I think long ago, with, like, MKUltra files and, like, the fires and the fact that there were some left over, they've probably examined, like, past cases where ultra-top-secret programs were, like, leaked, right?
	And how to avoid doing that forever.
	And I think they've gotten pretty good at it.
	So why would we expect that if, like, if, like, you, you know, let's just say Epstein was, like, a high-level cross-agent.
	Mossad, United States.
	He worked for Intelligence.
	I'm liking where you're going, yeah.
	He was gathering, like, compromise on as many rich and famous people so that they could, you know, have them do their bidding or whatever.
	Let's say all of that is true.
	You don't think that the people fucking running that would, like, have, I don't know, created...
	Sure.
	It also, to them, might not be that big a deal.
	Like, Epstein could be, like, one of many pedophiles' sting operations, you know, capturing large swaths of data.
	This is just, like, another guy in the cabinet.
	I mean, like, you don't think that, at the very least, like, Trump had a talking to, like, about, like, hey, man, by the way, you know, don't forget, you're on that shit, so.
	Don't forget Protocol Blue.
	And then we're never going to find out about Protocol Blue.
	I mean, don't you think?
	I mean, it seems pretty basic to me.
	I do find it hard to believe that it's just, like, Pam Bondi looking at the files and being like, oh, and then not releasing them.
	Not a chance!
	Pam Bondi would never be given a single useful thing.
	Yeah, yeah.
	The idea that it's up to Pam Bondi.
	No, if there's really a deep state, then we have to at least pretend that they might be somewhat competent.
	It is so funny.
	Like this conversation reminds me of when Julian and I first started doing the podcast without Travis, where it was just us are kind of like arguing back and forth about like which conspiracies like we think are actually real.
	And Epstein always does this to us, by the way.
	Like every time we do an Epstein episode, we turn into like a vaguely conspiratorial podcast, except now we have Liv as well to join in with the theorizing.
	So Travis has one more person to like keep derailing like his hard earned research.
	It is the most real of them.
	That's the problem.
	Yeah.
	Because it really like lets you go off.
	No, there's a lot here, and it's all really fucking shady, and we do not have basic answers, and we know on some level that, like, intelligence is involved and has files that we would all love to see about Epstein and the case in various different ways.
	But, man, do you think the fucking deep state's gonna accidentally, like, send good shit to Pam Bondi so that Trump can make, like, a dumbass point?
	I mean, maybe.
	Like, I mean, at this point, there really is no one at the wheel.
	But there's got to be a second wheel.
	If there is a deep state, there's a second layer somewhere.
	But here's the thing.
	We're going to get to it, but they basically blame all these failures essentially on the deep state.
	In the lead-up to this disappointing release, conservative pundit Glenn Beck even claimed that he had inside information that Kash Patel would release Epstein files the day that Patel was confirmed as FBI director.
	The only thing I care about is the scandal of the pedophiles, and in the next 10 days, you're going to see the Epstein file released.
	In the next 10 days?
	Next 10 days.
	Oh, please.
	You think in the next 10 days the whole thing's going to be released?
	Yeah.
	And what kind of information do you have to be able to be that certain about it?
	I plead the fifth.
	In the next ten days.
	Next ten days.
	Glenn, stop it.
	Next ten days.
	You're teasing millions who want that list.
	Day number one.
	Kash Patel walks in.
	By the end of the day, it will be released.
	Obviously, did not happen.
	The scandal of the pedophiles sounds like, I don't know, you're like an alien trying to learn to be human or something?
	This absolutely rules.
	I love the people who are like, people can't wait to find out who's on that list.
	Like, bitch, we have the black book.
	There is shit that slipped through.
	You can see the people that he fucking had multiple phone numbers for, as in...
	Yeah, the thing is that people think that there has been a lot of interesting information that has been released, but there hasn't been a big blow-up.
	There hasn't been perp walks.
	Our world hasn't been turned upside down as a result of this information being released.
	And that's what they're hoping for.
	They want some sort of information to be released, and then just the way we live gets inverted because the information is so explosive.
	But I don't think that's going to happen.
	Yeah, even in their wildest dreams, if they were arrested, they would all be negotiated backdoors with lawyers.
	It's not like Departed, where there's going to be all of these FBI raids and people getting brought out in handcuffs, yelling at the cameras and stuff.
	I mean, look at what happened to Diddy.
	It was one of those things where it was like, investigators are looking for Diddy.
	And then it's like, Diddy is now in custody.
	They – when you're dealing with super powerful people, like even if they've done these horrible things, they arrange it in a way so that even if it comes true, it's not going to be satisfying.
	I think liberals got that with – when Donald Trump was arrested.
	Like, even when you have the mega QAnon sycophants, like, in charge of these institutions, they've inherited and then realized there is some delicate balance of power with, like, specifically Epstein, that, like, if they touch would create, like, an incredibly destructive domino effect, I would assume.
	And they're like, oh, that's why it hasn't been touched.
	I guess we'll just continue that, especially with Trump as president.
	If the Trump administration actually did follow through with this and released, you know, information about Epstein that gave us a more complete picture, I mean, I would have no choice but to hand it to them because there is no denying that there are a lot of unanswered questions around the Epstein case.
	Like, for example, when Alexander Acosta, the U.S. attorney who handled Epstein's 2007 sweetheart plea deal, told Trump transition officials that he'd been instructed to back off because Epstein, quote, belonged to intelligence.
	What the hell did that mean?
	That's awesome.
	That's so good that that's just on record and we still can't do anything.
	We know that that's what hurts the most about Epstein.
	It's like, yes, there's lots we don't know, but most of it we know.
	The perfect conspiracy theory.
	We see it.
	It's been handed to us.
	It's not even a conspiracy theory.
	We're using quotes and fucking documented facts to build an idea of something that was highly organized.
	Another big question, how Epstein built his fortune.
	Epstein was supposedly a financier, but he had only one verifiable big money client.
	That is the Victoria's Secret tycoon, Les Wexner.
	Another critical financial question is how Epstein was able to move vast sums of money through major banks for years without raising red flags.
	Or when flags were raised, why were they ignored?
	Why were they big green flags that, like, waved everything through?
	We don't understand.
	Epstein was a client of J.P. Morgan Chase from 1998 up until 2013, during which time he wired millions of dollars to alleged co-conspirators and victims.
	Internal compliance officers at J.P. Morgan did raise concerns about Epstein's cash withdrawals and payments, especially after his 2008 conviction, but the bank kept him on as a client.
	It's just very weird.
	Of course, another big question, like Julian mentioned, what exactly is contained on the CDs and the hard drives obtained by the FBI? Epstein's Island and his New York townhome.
	I mean, this isn't even like getting into questions about Epstein's accomplices.
	I mean, I could go on.
	I mean, yeah, we haven't even touched on like the broken cameras and the hyoid bone.
	Just so many fucking weird ass, horrible little details.
	Because of FOIA lawsuits, we know for a fact that the FBI has a lot of Epstein-related files that have not yet been made public.
	And, you know, there are perfectly legitimate reasons why we may never, in our lifetimes at least, see everything they have.
	Many of those pages remain sealed under court order or exempt from FOIA due to privacy concerns.
	For example, there's names of third parties and victims that are redacted, and any materials from grand jury proceedings or confidential informants are withheld.
	Julie K. Brown, the Miami Herald journalist who has done the most important work exposing Epstein, reported this about the risks of a document release and what may still be revealed.
	FBI sources told the Miami Herald Friday that they worried releasing the documents without a careful review, one that would likely take weeks or months, would jeopardize the hard-won 2021 conviction of Epstein-accomplished Ghislaine Maxwell.
	Maxwell is appealing her conviction and 20-year sentence for child sex trafficking.
	Sources also said that the files are voluminous.
	There are 22 files containing over 500 pages in the FBI vault, a portal on the FBI's website accessible to the public.
	The bulk of those 11,000-plus pages are heavily redacted, and Justice Department prosecutors have fought their release for years.
	While Bondi pointed fingers at the FBI in New York, many more files exist in other jurisdictions.
	One critical source of evidence against Epstein was in the discovery for a Florida civil case brought by Epstein's victims against the FBI in 2008. That case spanned a decade and included tens of thousands of pages of material that sheds light on how federal prosecutors mishandled that early case.
	Not all the FBI documents connected to that case, or the federal criminal case, in Florida have been made public.
	So yeah, there's, I mean, there's a lot there, but Julie K. Brown shut down the fantasy that there's going to be a release of like a single Epstein client list that can identify every single person who trafficked children with Epstein.
	There is no Jeffrey Epstein client list, period.
	It's a figment of the internet's imagination.
	And a means to just slander people.
	I would say that it would be nice to know a couple of people who were sleeping with underage women with him.
	It would be cool to just get a couple confirmed names.
	I'm sure some light investigation could probably reveal some of those to the public, maybe?
	Ask him too much?
	Yeah, I know.
	Even though maybe the release wouldn't get us the full story, there has to be something interesting in there.
	So, on February 26th, Attorney General Bondi made a very exciting announcement while speaking to Jesse Waters on Fox News.
	They were going to release Epstein information the very next day.
	I think tomorrow, you know, the personal information of victims.
	Other than that, I think tomorrow, Jesse, breaking news right now, you're going to see some Epstein information being released by my office.
	What kind?
	Are we going to see who was on the flights?
	Are we going to see any evidence?
	From what he recorded because he had all of his homes wired with recording devices.
	What you're going to see hopefully tomorrow is a lot of flight logs, a lot of names, a lot of information.
	But it's pretty sick what that man did.
	Wow, Bondi just finding out.
	She's like, it turns out this guy, like, not a good guy.
	People wanted his files and I had to look into him.
	And yeah, he did some awful stuff, I guess.
	If you consume conservative media, I mean, you get this, you've been getting this message for months and months and months.
	Epstein files are coming.
	Trump's going to do it.
	Everyone's saying it.
	The attorney general is saying it.
	FBI directors are going to say it.
	Like, Glenn Beck is saying it.
	Everyone is saying it.
	So you'd be reasonably, so you'd think that, you know, I mean, it's just, if you're consuming this media, then, like, you have it in your mind that it's actually going to happen.
	I would just simply like a list of anybody who's appeared in video material that was taken from Epstein's place.
	Just a list of everyone who's appeared on the video material.
	Is that so fucking hardcore?
	I think that's a fair ask.
	We're never going to fucking get through this otherwise.
	The list means nothing, but if you have been caught on video at Epstein's fucking internal recording studio or whatever, yeah, that's the list we want and we'll never get it because folks, folks.
	They control everything.
	It's like to catch a predator, right?
	Like, if you show up at the door, so we'd at least like to know who's knocking on the door with flowers and the pizza.
	You know what I mean?
	It's just Bill Clinton over and over like, hey, hey, it's me again.
	He's like too close to the camera.
	Hey, it's me again.
	Hey, it's me again.
	Hey, hey, please let me in.
	Come on, man.
	Last time was a fluke.
	Hope you're hungry.
	I brought that large pizza and six Gatorades like you asked me to.
	You might think that the first move for this disclosure would be just to release what they have just publicly, just publish it for everyone to see.
	Like, for example, on the FBI Vault website, where they usually release declassified FBI documents.
	No, they're doing it the Twitter files way, which is really annoying, useless, and kind of makes it harder to even process anything.
	Instead, they gave the documents to 15 MAGA-aligned influencers who happened to be visiting the White House.
	Awesome.
	These are just people from the internet, like Mike Cernovich, Jack Posobiec, DC Drano, a.k.a.
	Rogano Handley, and Libs of TikTok, a.k.a.
	Chaya Reichich.
	It is a posting presidency.
	They do have, like, the new media information game.
	On lock, like, liberals are totally failing in that respect.
	They released it to Totenkopf69.
	Yeah.
	Well, it's just that the liberals, for the most part, their content isn't, like, they don't go far enough.
	They flirt with, like, but, like, there's some sort of conscious there that, you know, that is keeping them from, like, completely just making, I mean, you know, except for, you know, a handful.
	But, like, I think that's the thing.
	Look at this.
	This is, like, such a gummy bear, like, lineup.
	It's, like, lips of TikTok.
	Drano.
	This is like the toxic Avengers, you know?
	They couldn't even do, like, somewhat pretend news people like a Jesse Waters or even Tucker Carlson.
	No.
	I mean, like, all the, pretty much all of the, like, normie sort of new media political people are on the right.
	Like, with the exception probably of Hassan, who's not even a liberal.
	Like, he's not a Democrat.
	Like, The Dem establishment is totally failing at this, and I guess this is an example of the White House recognizing that part of their- I don't know what's going through their minds.
	Attorney General Bondi and FBI Director Cash Patel handed these influencers binders with the title of The Epstein Files Phase One.
	The truth is out there.
	Yeah.
	The binders also have the word declassified stamped across the top.
	Even though the documents did not contain any official government declassification markings.
	So this was just for show.
	Yes, this was like some intern somewhere.
	They were like, can you put a big declassified, you know, on the cover?
	They all have poster brain.
	And like, I mean, I guess it works if you have poster brain and everyone else does.
	Then people will eat it up.
	Yeah, people will understand.
	Something they can grab onto.
	Yeah, it looks just like a movie.
	As Julian said before, it's these simplified cliches.
	Yeah, yeah, exactly.
	Shortly afterwards, the FBI published the content of the binders online, and Epstein researchers soon discovered that it only contained previously released information.
	In fact, some of these pages were redacted versions of previously released documents, so it actually contained less information than what has been previously released.
	It was worse.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, it's literally worse than if they just looked up, like, Black Book, like, just Googled, like, Epstein Black Book and clicked on, like, the first proper, like, PDF embedded thing.
	Perhaps the most baffling influencer included in this group is the Instagram personality Jessica Reed Krauss, a.k.a.
	House Inhabit.
	Everybody's got names.
	I'm sorry, but this is ridiculous.
	This is ridiculous.
	Libs of Diptock, DC Drano, somebody in the house.
	Like, this is, like, I couldn't, my younger self couldn't have imagined a world this lame, honestly.
	Chair sitting.
	Insane.
	Jake Rokotansky.
	Yeah, stupid names.
	So yeah, we've talked a bit about her before.
	So Krauss made a name for herself in 2022 covering the Johnny Depp vs.
	Amber Heard defamation trial.
	And when she covered the trial of Epsi Madam Ghislaine Maxwell, she advocated for her release.
	Queen!
	In fact, she posted a photo of herself on Instagram wearing a free Ghislaine t-shirt.
	See, this is fucking solidarity, man.
	She was spinning the RFK Nuzzy thing and saying that, like, Nuzzy seduced him.
	Okay, cool.
	He couldn't help.
	I forgot about Nuzzy.
	Free Jeffrey t-shirt is what we really need to be wearing, folks.
	I think it's time for the free Jeffrey t-shirts.
	Dude, free Nuzzy.
	Because people will walk by and be like, are you giving away something?
	What's a Nuzzy?
	Is it a kind of blanket that I can wear on the couch?
	You're going to give me a Nuzzy?
	You're going to give me a Nuzzy?
	Is that legal?
	Krause, also by her own admission during an interview, doesn't really focus on fact-checking her claims.
	I don't really play by the same framework as a journalist.
	A traditional journalist is, you know, very cautious in how the story's framed and super detail-oriented and obsessively fact-checking, which I don't always focus on.
	And it's really very simple.
	It's really just about gossip.
	That's obsessively fact-checking.
	It's an interesting way to describe it.
	There's a big difference by choice, of course, between journalists and I. Journalists do all this stuff.
	There's a level of competence there.
	And with me, I've chosen the other road of not doing any of those things and being completely incompetent.
	They're actually accountable when they lie in some way.
	I'm just not super into fact-checking before I release information.
	I'm actually revealing a secret and hidden truth, but I will also reprint anything said to me over the phone by a spook.
	So I am actually very smart.
	There was a press pool who happened to be outside of the White House when these influencers exited with their binders.
	And these journalists, they weren't there for the Epstein release documents.
	They're actually there to report on a meeting between Trump and British Prime Minister Keir Starmer.
	So when the influencers exited the White House, the photojournalists from the established media outlets snapped photos that showed the influencers holding the binders up and seeming to even laugh and smile.
	It's just genius political instincts here.
	Some of the smartest people.
	You really see how they got to the top here.
	I would fucking love to be seeing this exact photo, but through like an 8x scope.
	You know, I think that's Krauss in the sort of like...
	10 sizes too big.
	You can actually see the space in between where her head stops and where the hat begins.
	And it's like a Make America Great Again style hat, but it says Trump was right about everything.
	Wow.
	That's good.
	She really looks like Yosemite Sam.
	Like this, the size of this hat.
	Am I out of bounds here?
	I mean, this thing is massive.
	It's a big hat, yeah.
	You're correct.
	She is being lost in it.
	Look at her face underneath it!
	It's so big!
	It almost looks like it's, like, Photoshopped off.
	It does.
	Alright, I gotta take a picture of this.
	I'll tweet it later.
	Alright, please, continue.
	Wow.
	Now, this is, you know, it seems kind of distasteful.
	Like, you know, you're supposedly...
	No, I love that everyone's...
	Fuck!
	They're all fucking...
	They're holding merch!
	They're coming out with the fucking...
	The declassification of the biggest fucking pedophile, like, ring in, like, in the world.
	And they're also holding the merch that was given to them with it.
	Like, can we be serious for a moment?
	No, no, no.
	Everything is just deflatingly ludicrous.
	And they're all smiling.
	They're so fucking happy.
	Yeah, I found out all about the pedophiles.
	Bad stuff.
	Like, nothing means anything.
	So this led to widespread criticism, including from QAnon followers.
	Even the QAnon people are more principled.
	Yes.
	So on the QAnon show, Eye of the Storm, the host decried it as a bad look.
	But of course, they ultimately tried to think of reasons why it might have been botched.
	This way on purpose.
	And I think it was just kind of a bad look, you know, personally, you know, those files for many different reasons, you know, what's contained in those files have to do with, you know, kids getting raped and things like that.
	But also the other side of it is, you know, we want as much transparency as possible.
	And these guys kind of seemed like they were like in between us and getting the information.
	So it was bad look all the way around.
	Yeah, I basically agree with you, man.
	I'm going to, in the name of professionalism, shy away from shitting on anybody in the photo.
	But I think it was a horrible look.
	It was a horrible optic for them.
	And another take that I had had on it was perhaps that was the point.
	Piss people off.
	Get people riled up enough to start screaming from the rooftops to just release this stuff and give it to the American people.
	I think that may have been an overarching point to this.
	I also don't think Bondi got had.
	I don't think Trump got had.
	I don't think any of them had the wool pulled over their eyes.
	Hmm, then I wonder who's pulling the wool over whose eyes, you absolute dunce.
	You don't for a second consider that they're the ones pulling it and that you're the eyes, but you're still supporting them fully and saying, wait, this is really stupid and doesn't make any sense.
	And if you actually consider that these people care about this and have any information that would be useful.
	Ugh, so close.
	One of the influencers in the photo was Liz Wheeler, and she later explained that she and her fellow conservative pundits only reacted that way, sort of like smiling and waving the binders because they were trolling the media, she claims.
	Right, of course.
	And so when the media was so sour and bitter that we had gotten this binder, yes, we were kind of laughing at them.
	We were holding up the binders in defiance, saying, you know what?
	You've been relegated to the bushes because you lie and you smear and you gaslight the American people and we are the media now.
	And that was the background of that picture.
	Wow.
	Man, it's so awesome.
	Which, like, they didn't even have anything.
	The real media already reported all of it before.
	Yes.
	Oh, I saw your face when I opened my Christmas box and the Trapper Keeper came out.
	You were fucking jealous.
	She's so mad.
	She's, like, on a radio show being like, no, we meant what we meant when...
	You started making fun of us.
	We meant it as a good thing.
	It's unfair for you to report it the way that it looks.
	Because it meant another thing.
	Just incredible because they're being handed less than a dog turd.
	They're being handed what a child would fail.
	If someone failed to get the very basic information that's interesting about Epstein online and printed it up.
	Yeah, like, if you're one of them and you're not a fucking moron with, like, bad political instincts, you would read through it first.
	It's like, is there anything actually new here?
	It's like, oh, this just looks like the black book, but, like, more redacted.
	All of these are just screenshots from, like, the MS-DOS version of Leisure Suit Larry?
	Also, I mean, this didn't make sense to me, like, even as a troll, because the people that they were allegedly trolling, the press who were, like, taking pictures of them, they were, like, part of the White House press pool who were basically there every day.
	This was a special visit for these influencers, whereas these reporters, being there was their job.
	The other thing is that the reason that they happened to be outside is because they were covering the meeting between Trump and the British Prime Minister, which these influencers were not participating in.
	Now, I mean, they weren't relegated to the Bushes.
	They were covering serious news.
	But, you know, the fact that these two events happened on the same day, I think, reveals something interesting about the Trump administration's media strategy.
	Because, like, when the White House is hosting, like, a serious meeting with a foreign leader, they still basically invite traditional news outlets to cover it.
	And as much as they resent the mainstream media, perhaps they still believe that, like, big outlets like NBC News and Politico and NPR and Al Jazeera and BBC, etc.
	They're all useful for publicizing, you know, the big events like this.
	Hey, okay, so we're having the real thing up front.
	Could you get all the absolute fucking morons out back and we'll just kind of throw candy out at them?
	Yeah, I know.
	We're just gonna jingle our keys in front of them, and they smile and wag their little tails.
	Yeah, when the White House wants to do, like, a fake disclosure drop of information that isn't really newsworthy, but might help satisfy their base, they call on these right-wing social media influencers.
	Literally, they sit them at the kids' table, and they give them little Happy Meal versions of what everyone else gets.
	Yeah, they give them bullshit, and then they make the feeling, you fucking lying media, we get the binders, not you.
	We get the bullshit binders that are going to embarrass us.
	Okay, there's a photographer on the way out.
	Don't forget to smile.
	When Jack Posobiec was asked about what happened in this incident by Steve Bannon, Posobiec claimed that he and other influencers were there to talk policy and meet with White House officials.
	But the Epstein folder was kind of sprung on them by surprise.
	Yes.
	Then they kind of, like, assumed it contained new information.
	Wow.
	It's almost like they jingled the keys and then you were a good duck.
	Yesterday...
	What was the problem?
	Pam Bondi oversold this.
	You had every major influencer there.
	You had Cerno.
	You had yourself.
	You had D.C. Drano.
	You had Congressman Anna Polina Luna.
	You got people all over this.
	It was a big disappointment.
	The fiasco yesterday was because of...
	Best judgment.
	Why did that happen?
	Well, I think what happened was that people were expecting there to be new stuff in these binders.
	Certainly we expected there to be new stuff in the binders as well.
	And we had been invited to the White House.
	But hang on.
	It was Caroline Levitt and J.D. That was the invite, was to meet with them, do policy briefings, etc., etc.
	The name Epstein was never once even mentioned prior to...
	Prior to this, so then the binders come in and of course we've seen that she's been doing the media tour saying that this is gonna come, it's on the desk, we're gonna have it soon.
	Puts this out.
	Okay.
	So she came over and joined the meeting, essentially.
	She joined up.
	Yeah.
	Hey, I didn't expect it, but they took us into a room and they tattooed our foreheads with, I'm a big fucking idiot.
	They never mentioned that they were going to do this.
	They had all the major influencers like Oopy Goopy and Qmaster69.
	All the names.
	All the stars are here.
	God damn, man.
	Grim.
	Plus, I mean, if you need anything that defines the right wing's actual interest in declassifying anything Epstein-related, just look at Posobiec doing a kind of loop where he's like, yeah, I mean, the folder that I handed myself that I printed 30 minutes prior to continue covering this up for the federal government, I expected more from it.
	Yeah, all these influencers are just pure Trump sycophants with no political instinct.
	We'll just take whatever they...
	Like, I will credit, like, someone like Fuentes, at least in terms of his political instinct, that he's, like, trying to oppose or be seen as different from the Trump administration in some ways, so that, like, after things go to shit potentially, he can still have his right-wing grift.
	We're handing it to Nick Fuentes.
	I mean, listen, like, he's smarter than these guys.
	I guess that's a low bar.
	Jesus Christ.
	Really, what made this day extra absurd was the fact that the Twitter account for the Republican House Judiciary Committee tweeted, breaking Epstein Files release, and then a link to tinyurl.com slash Epstein Files V2. But when people clicked on this link, they heard this.
	I am become meme.
	Oh.
	Honestly, I think a lot of this is also just that, like, the Trump admin, especially the second one, is just pro-rape.
	It's like a pro-rape.
	Like, one of their big things is being for rape.
	Like, with the insane Andrew Taint stuff of, like, rescuing them from, like, sex trafficking charges in Romania.
	Yeah, bringing them back, that's so cool of Trump.
	Like, these guys just do think rape is cool.
	They only speak of it negatively in a way to, like, punish their enemies who, like, they accuse of being basically...
	If the Biden administration had done this, somebody would have, like, showed up at the White House, like, with a bomb strapped to their...
	Yeah, I just, like, I can't really wrap my head around, like, teasing new information about, you know, elite sex trafficking and using that to rickroll people.
	You rickrolled people that they thought they were finding out, like, who the most powerful fucking child rapists in the world are?
	Ha ha.
	On what planet did anybody...
	I think that this was a good idea.
	They think rape is funny.
	I mean, really, fundamentally, that's just how Republicans view the world, especially these, like, MAGA people.
	Like, there was nobody in that room that was like, eh, I don't know, like, Rick Rowling about the Epstein stuff after everything we've kind of, like, run up.
	On the House Judiciary account.
	That's so funny.
	I mean, 4chan has taken over the government.
	Yeah.
	Now, why go through all this nonsense just to release nothing?
	So what happened to the information Pam Bondi said would be released?
	White House officials who spoke to ABC News claimed that the blame for the debacle lie entirely with Pam Bondi.
	Ahead of the Justice Department's public release, Bondi directed her staff to compile binders of the materials to distribute to the influencers at the event, sources said.
	She also instructed her team not to inform White House officials of the plan, according to multiple sources, apparently thinking the surprise would be well-received inside the West Wing.
	Because it's really dum-dums.
	A lot of dum-dums.
	Also, I mean, I love that people in the White House were like, oh, we need to go to the press and be very clear that we had nothing to do with this.
	This was a Bondi joint.
	It was all her.
	That's awesome.
	Yeah, I mean, that's kind of classic Trump, right?
	Like, if something backfires or looks bad, he's like, okay, everybody take the blame.
	Everybody get ready to fall on that sword.
	Pam Bondi, however, was quick to blame others.
	Bondi sent a letter to FBI Director Cash Patel criticizing the agency for failing to turn over all of the files that they wanted.
	Oh my god.
	The QAnon FBI director giving you even worse dog shit than is already out there in public.
	In the letter she claimed that she had been misled and called for an investigation.
	So here's what she wrote.
	I repeatedly questioned whether this was the full set of documents responsive to my request and was repeatedly assured by the FBI that we had received the full set of documents.
	Late Wednesday, I learned from a source that the FBI field office in New York was in possession of thousands of pages of documents related to the investigation and indictment of Epstein.
	Despite my repeated requests, the FBI never disclosed the existence of these files.
	Wait, the fucking Attorney General is getting her FOIA, like, uh, like the run- is being given the runaround on her FOIAs?
	Like, what?
	No.
	I want to be clear.
	There's, yeah, there's a 2020 lawsuit from the outlet Radar, which confirmed that there are about 10,000 unreleased Epstein-related documents at this office.
	Again, public information.
	You'll need to, like, be the attorney general to know this.
	But she's like, oh, I had no idea.
	I was like, oh, it's absurd.
	Bondi continues, I'm also directing you to conduct an immediate investigation into why the order to the FBI was not followed.
	You will deliver to me a comprehensive report of your findings and propose personnel actions within 14 days.
	Whoa.
	Yeah.
	So, 14 days after that letter is actually today, the day we're recording.
	And there are no reports, I checked this morning, that Kash Patel has delivered such a report to Pam Bondi.
	I would fucking pay for just a reality series that currently follows Kash Patel's attempts at, like, becoming the FBI director.
	Just to see what he's dealing with.
	His life must be very interesting.
	Kash Patel took to social media to insinuate that there were some lower-level people in the FBI who were undermining attempts at disclosure.
	There will be no cover-ups, no missing documents, no stone left unturned.
	And anyone from the prior or current bureau who undermines this will be swiftly pursued.
	If there are gaps, we will find them.
	If records have been hidden, we will uncover them.
	I mean, I don't know.
	What do you think?
	Do you think he's going to do any of this?
	After the debacle, Pam Bondi appeared on Hannity and claimed that she was tipped off by some unnamed whistleblower that the Southern District of New York field office was withholding documents.
	But she has since received a truckload of new documents.
	And you didn't find out less than 24 hours before the release, you...
	Got a whistleblower that confirmed that there were way more documents that they were supposed to turn over.
	And then you found out just before that.
	Well, sure.
	And you're looking at these documents going, these aren't all the Epstein files.
	You know, there were flight logs.
	There were names and victims' names.
	And we're going, where's the rest of the stuff?
	And that's what the FBI had turned over to us.
	And so a source said, whoa, all this evidence is sitting in the Southern District of New York.
	So based on that, I gave them the deadline.
	Friday at 8, a truckload of evidence arrived.
	It's now in the possession of the FBI. Cash is going to get me and himself, really, a detailed report as to why all these documents and evidence had been withheld.
	And, you know, we're going to go through it, go through it as fast as we can, but go through it very cautiously to protect all the victims of Epstein.
	Yeah, because this is an institution that really cares about rape right now.
	I think it's very serious.
	And, you know, merely protecting...
	A truckload of new documents.
	I just imagine Kash Patel diving into documents like Uncle Scrooge.
	Oh, man.
	I feel like it's like you can't just say, like, the deep state ate my homework over and over again.
	Every single time you fuck up.
	I mean, we can give him one more time.
	Like, I have to admit, I'm just like, oh, come on, guys.
	Just get it done.
	Like, clean up the, you know, clean the swamp.
	Like, drain the swamp.
	Please, just get us something.
	I'm a rube for this.
	I'm holding out hope.
	I'm like, come on, man.
	If it's going to get done at any time, it's going to get done under these idiots.
	Yeah, it's only too right.
	It's only too perfect.
	Yeah, that don't realize that they're self-incriminating themselves and many other people in their party, perhaps.
	The only way it's ever going to get done is under this completely incompetent administration.
	But I don't know.
	I wouldn't count on it at the same breath.
	I wouldn't be surprised if the main reason for this is just that releasing a lot of that information would be a liability in some way.
	And they are realizing that now that they have the clearance for it.
	They don't actually give a shit about the victims.
	They want to appear like they care.
	But sacrificing any sort of their own position or people who are allied to them is not worth actually even getting the PR boost for doing this.
	More recently, Pam Bondi got criticism from Congress.
	On News Nation, Representative Tim Burchett suggested that Pam Bondi should be fired over the stunt.
	Pam Bandy.
	I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that thing was botched.
	She should have never opened her dadgum mouth and said, I'm sitting here bragging, this thing's on my desk.
	And all she had allegedly was some very limited records.
	I think the thing was botched.
	I think somebody's in over their head.
	Yeah, somebody's going to lose their job.
	Dadgum, they should.
	But I don't think it'll get as high as it needs to.
	What did he say, Dabgom?
	They should.
	Why do they have Foghorn Leghorn on News Nation?
	Yeah, this guy is like, he's got like a hunting jacket with no armhole.
	It's like draped over his shoulder.
	This man just like walked away from an explosion.
	His hair is still singed.
	I think he has brain damage, folks.
	How did the Cuomos fall so low?
	You know what's funny, too?
	It's like, every time they show a picture, now that we've just been watching consistent news clips about Epstein, they're only showing pictures of him, like, he looks like he's in, like, a J. Crute catalog or, like, on a, like, a We Go V commercial.
	Like, he's smiling.
	He's, you know, like, kind of buttoned up.
	And this is, like, a real criminal.
	Like, they don't have any scary looking, like, whenever they show pictures of, like, other, you know, public people in the news who have, like, you know, been involved in big law enforcement.
	Yeah, where's the profile shot where he's rubbing his hands together and you can really see the outline of his nose?
	Come on, oh my god, I'll allow it.
	I'm just saying, please, just represent bad people correctly.
	I mean, they could have, like, right, it's still, they could have at least shown his mugshot, but they're still showing these glamour shots of him outside.
	Looking good in another university sweatshirt.
	Yeah.
	Like we talked about in the previous episode, the chair of the newly formed Task Force on the Declassification of Federal Secrets is Representative Anna Paulina Luna.
	No!
	The crazy, like, the one that's been doing all the insane, like, thirst trap, like, ultra-violent stuff?
	Yes.
	She is a fucking cartoon character.
	Well, speaking to Jesse Waters, Luna claimed that the Department of Justice has not been forthcoming.
	What's going on with the Epstein files?
	A couple weeks ago, that was kind of weird.
	What are you hearing?
	You know, I feel the same way that you do, Jesse, and I'm very frustrated, just like many Americans are.
	I think that those lists need to be released to the American people, and that's really up to the decision of Attorney General Pam Bondi.
	I can tell you that as a member of Congress, we have not really gotten much communication from the Department of Justice, but we are going to be continuing to put pressure because when the American people elected President Trump, they demanded transparency, and frankly, it's disturbing that more people aren't in jail for the crimes that were committed.
	She won?
	She's in Congress?
	She's the head of the committee on 9-11, Aliens, Jeffrey Epstein, a couple other things.
	She's basically the head of the QAnon committee.
	And she's got other bangers on there.
	She's got Lauren Boebert is on it.
	There's a couple other great Congress people.
	That's awesome.
	I think it's interesting that Congress, they aren't going along with the, oh, the deep state New York thwarted me story.
	They're like, no, like this is Pam Bondi's whole deal.
	If anything goes wrong, it's her fault.
	And she's not being forthcoming to Congress.
	This is an issue that even many passionate Trump supporters are frustrated with.
	Underneath every single tweet by Pam Bondi now, there is a string of tweets from right wingers like this.
	When are you going to release the Epstein list of clients that participated in pepophilia, which I think is supposed to be pedophilia, and trafficking of innocent underage children?
	When will arrest be made and prosecutions happen?
	How about we focus on the Epstein files instead of photo ops?
	There are child pedos within our government!
	We're the Epstein files, blondie!
	Sounds like a bit of a misogyny, like...
	Yeah.
	Yeah, you stupid blonde beige-y.
	We cannot move past the Epstein debacle.
	Would love to be happy about this, but let's get the Epstein client names so we can move on.
	Until then, we don't trust you.
	Yeah, everyone's gonna move on once they get that list.
	That's what it would do to the world.
	Honestly, that list, that actual list, if they actually just compiled a list of people who appeared on those tapes and is at least aware, if not involved, in the actual trafficking, that list would probably be the single most radicalizing event in recent history.
	In response to this, like, outpouring of, like, you know, disappointment, the current stance of the Trump administration seems to be that the check is in the mail.
	Just a couple days ago, the White House counselor, Alina Haba, begged for patience and went as far as to insinuate that people named in these documents would be brought to justice.
	I just want to say, I understand and hear the American people's, you know, ask.
	And sometimes they mistakenly put it on me, and that's fine.
	I'm part of the administration.
	But I will say that I personally have checked in.
	They are going through it.
	You have to be patient.
	Because when you are...
	Wanting to prosecute and actually do something with the information that you have.
	You have to make sure that you save the integrity of the investigation so that we can bring these people to justice, so that we can hold grand juries, so that we can do certain things.
	You have to be careful.
	The value for the American people to know immediately would undercut.
	We have to do it.
	We have to expose it.
	We're going to be transparent 100%.
	But we also have to make sure we're not putting any children in danger, putting any minors that don't want and do not deserve to be publicly identified in danger and making sure that we put forth the information that would still assist us in getting these individuals to justice.
	This is extraordinary to me because like they botched like the simplest part, just releasing the information.
	And now they're saying, no, no, the information is still going to be released.
	And then on top of that, they're going to be, like, grand juries and indictments and, like, prosecutions.
	And, like, it's going to be way more spectacular.
	I don't know.
	I feel like they are, like, digging themselves into a deeper hole by making big...
	Yeah, it really does seem like Pam Bondi's first in the chopping block with this, where everyone else is speaking up all the things they're going to do, knowing someone else is going to have to deal with the fact that we can't live up to this.
	Yeah.
	I think it's worth mentioning that this is not the only controversy related to disclosure that the Trump administration is facing.
	Because, you know, remember on January 23rd, Trump signed an executive order to release the JFK files within 45 days.
	And 45 days after January 23rd is March 9th.
	So the deadline has passed and we have not heard about how those JFK files are doing.
	So what's going on?
	Tucker Carlson made a really startling allegation.
	He claimed that the release of the JFK files was being thwarted by Republican Senator Tom Cotton.
	In January, you know, there was a scramble over who's going to get what jobs in the new administration.
	And at one point, there was someone who was being discussed for a job in the intel world, and a member of the SSCI, the Senate Select Committee on Intelligence, the Senate Intel Committee, went...
	To the people making the decision and said, you cannot hire this person because this person will be certain to push for the release of the JFK files.
	So this is in this effect.
	So this is in 2025, less than two months ago, and you have a sitting member of the United States Senate whose main goal is to keep...
	Those files secret.
	And then you have to ask yourself, what is that?
	Yeah.
	Exactly.
	Why?
	So why don't you expose that person, first of all, so we can start chasing after him?
	Tom Cotton of Arkansas did that.
	The jump scare of it being Cuomo on the other side.
	Dude, man, he really is incredible.
	It is cool that, like, Tucker Carlson's team has tweaked the hell out of the compression to make him sound like he has, like, a growly voice instead of, like, a whiny little, like, kind of, like, school debate kid voice.
	When Tom Cotton was asked about this on Fox News, he totally denied the allegations.
	It's false.
	Completely false.
	Nothing to it.
	I have no problem releasing the JFK files.
	Tucker could have called or texted me.
	He has texted me multiple times in recent weeks and asked me and I would have told him that.
	I've never spoken to President Trump or any of his associates or administration officials about the JFK files.
	I've never objected to someone taking office because of their position on the JFK files.
	I have to say I have complete faith in Kash Patel, Pam Bondi, John Ratcliffe, and Tulsi Gabbard to carry out President Trump's directive on the JFK files.
	I'm a little surprised that Tucker Carlson apparently doesn't have faith.
	Wow.
	That's a lot of very specific denials.
	I never obstructed the nomination of someone who had an opinion on the JFK files.
	It's like, wait, nobody was bringing that up, brother.
	what's going on he's turning into a real proper like old republican politician guy you can just see you can just see what he's gonna look like when he's like 87 and still in government cotton's one of the worst of the worst so i mean what's stupid about all this is that like the president has the power to declassify any document he wants for any reason like Like, he can pick up a declassified document and say, This document is declassified.
	This should be a layup.
	This should be super easy for them.
	You can't blame the deep state on this one.
	We know whatever documents exist.
	I feel like if they just gave us one name, a big shocking surprise about who was associated with Epstein and did something horrible on the island.
	One name.
	I feel like that would be satisfying to their base.
	But they can't even do that.
	Well, that's because you...
	You don't know that it would be JFK. Oh, that would be.
	And he's alive.
	Have you considered them together?
	You're just not connecting the dots here.
	Yeah, it really does seem like a lot of these, like Bondi, etc., have found out the reasons why they can't possibly release those in terms of power.
	Yeah.
	And now just have to deal with the fact that, like, they're the ones who are in charge of doing this, who have been delegated to do this.
	And Trump doesn't give a fuck.
	Like, especially if he can just blame other people.
	Like, oh, it was a deep state.
	Oh, you know, my stooges were too stupid and they didn't navigate and defeat the deep state sufficiently.
	Mm-hmm.
	Over the years, the Jake story that I've gotten most comments about, like me personally, is one about Stephen Hawking on Epstein Island.
	People have talked to me about that last week.
	People think that is amazing.
	So I was very excited when Jake said that he was going to cook up a brand new Epstein story.
	It's always fun.
	It's always fun to...
	Anytime we talk about Epstein, it's often so horrible and so dissatisfying and disappointing that I find...
	That, you know, a little spoonful of sugar at the end really does help the medicine go down.
	And, you know, I think in terms of that Stephen Hawking story, that was really when I realized that the stories could be very funny.
	You know, that was really...
	I wrote some really disgusting things in that.
	I don't know if I'll ever be that disgusting again.
	I don't know.
	Maybe.
	We'll see.
	But it feels like...
	We're rooting for you, brother.
	Yeah, that era of QAA is something like maybe we couldn't do anymore.
	Maybe not.
	Maybe that's all in my imagination.
	That's your imagination.
	We're just waiting for the real you, man.
	We're right here, baby.
	Always have been.
	But it's also very funny because this is a great example of when a story that I write for the show is very much influenced by just what's going on with me personally at the time, what I'm watching, what I'm listening to.
	Yeah, that's what we want.
	It's just like it's actually about your brain.
	But nominally, it's about whatever it's about.
	I've got a couple parts for you and Liv later.
	If you guys want to play some senior advisors, there's going to be a couple roles later.
	Of course.
	It was a gray day in Washington, D.C. Clouds hung low over the nation's capital as tourists, police officer, and the occasional group of protesters milled around the outside of the White House.
	Inside, a handful of advisors and suited-up politicians roamed the drab hallways, sometimes stopping to marvel at one of the countless pieces of historical art lining the walls.
	Things had changed in the last couple months.
	The hallways used to smell like mahogany coconut room spray from Bath& Body Works, but now they smelled like fish food.
	47th United States President Donald Trump sat slumped behind the resolute desk, his vision beginning to gray around the periphery.
	It wasn't nearly as much fun being president this time around.
	People were expecting results, but Trump's body had been slowly turning on him for years.
	He was now taking two Prilosex a day for his persistent heartburn, and he could only eat sweets on the right side of his mouth, causing him to bite the inside of his cheek often.
	Interesting.
	Interesting.
	I'd love to see the inside of Jake's cheeks, just to check.
	Maybe they've been bitten to Trump.
	Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed the door to the Oval Office open, and in came a couple guys carrying stacks of leather-bound executive orders.
	Trump sighed deeply.
	More papers?
	It felt like that was all he was, a rubber stamp for the overzealous, carted around and plopped in automobiles and stuffed into suits and hats, a pawn in someone else's game of 5D chess.
	Glancing down, he noticed a small black dot on the inside of his palm.
	A rogue spot of ink from one of the many Sharpies littering the desk.
	Trump blinked, looking more closely at his hand.
	The dot looked bigger than just a moment ago.
	Or did it?
	Trump grimaced and reeled backwards in his chair as the black ink began to envelop his fingers, crawling up his wrist and under his shirt cuffs.
	Slam!
	A giant stack of leather binders flopped onto a corner of the desk, startling Donald.
	Here you go, Mr. President.
	The advisors took a couple steps back and waited patiently for the president to sign all 17 orders.
	Trump glanced back down at his hands.
	A little dot of ink was still smeared into the meat of his palm.
	He shook his head and reached for one of the folders.
	Okay, what have we got here?
	He flipped open the cover and began to read, We are no longer allowing rubber bands in the lobster tanks.
	Very good.
	He began to sign his name.
	He began to sign his name and looked up at the nervous advisors.
	Where are we at with the whole Epstein thing?
	Um, Epstein, sir?
	Trump closed the sign folder and tossed it on the opposite corner of the desk.
	Epstein!
	We were going to reveal it all.
	A lot of people are asking for it and I'd like to do it.
	The advisors glanced nervously at one another.
	Uh, sir, some of the other cabinet members did have a chance to peruse the documents and, uh, they decided the president has more pressing matters to deal with.
	Trump scrunched his cheeks, freezing his face into a twisted sneer.
	Like what?
	He opened a binder at the top of the stack and began reading, giving all of the oil back to the ocean.
	Both of the advisors nodded enthusiastically.
	Time is wasting, Mr. President.
	Without warning, Trump grabbed the folder and frisbeated across the Oval Office, sending the two advisors scrambling for cover.
	He began flinging large, thick, sharpie markers, and they whizzed through the air like large caliber shells, shattering various picture frames and small faces lining the walls of the Oval Office.
	Okay!
	One of the advisors yelled.
	He stood up and shot an exasperated look to the other one before reaching under his shirt and producing a hefty stack.
	Trump's desk nervously and set them down for the president to examine.
	Trump scanned through a couple of the docs.
	Why am I in all of these pictures?
	One of the advisors nervously elbowed the other one.
	You're not, sir.
	Well, not technically.
	What do you mean, not technically?
	Trump flipped through the pages.
	There were pictures of him on the plane, on the island, in Epstein's mansion, and on the submarine.
	Trump looked perplexed.
	I don't remember any of this.
	I think I would remember if I was having a lot of fun like this.
	The other advisor took a couple steps forward trying to explain.
	Well, you see, sir, after Epstein was arrested, many of those in your tax bracket were given the severed procedure.
	Trump was zoning out, looking at picture after picture of himself, surrounded by young women, laughing happily.
	It essentially splits your memory into two separate people, one who exists only on Epstein Island and the other who exists everywhere else.
	Trump rested his chin on his fingers thinking about this.
	The two advisors began to back out of the Oval Office.
	Why don't we leave you to look over the files?
	And of course, decide whether they should be released in full.
	The guy slunk out of the office, leaving a bewildered Trump to pore over the documents.
	It was very unfair, Trump thought, that this other version of him was getting to have all of the fun.
	While Trump slaved away at the Resolute desk, this other Trump didn't have a care in the world.
	He was going from mansion to tropical island to submarine and having lots and lots of sexual intercourse with women from all over the world.
	Trump wanted those memories and he wanted them now.
	Get Elon on the phone, he yelled to no one in particular.
	You rang, Mr. President?
	Elon Musk unfolded himself out of a bookcase like the xenomorph at the end of the first Alien.
	Elon, they're telling me there's another Trump and he's going a lot of places and having quite a lot of fun in houses and planes and submarines.
	Trump went on to explain that these memories...
	Sorry.
	Trump went on to explain that these memories had been stolen from him.
	Okay.
	I don't know why I think this is so funny.
	Yeah, he's done.
	He's cooked.
	Trump went on to explain that these memories had been stolen from him and that this was not very fair.
	Elon told him not to worry.
	With all the macrodata refinement that Grok3 had been doing on X, Elon was fairly certain he could install a second chip into the president's brain.
	This one would be coated with the version of him that existed only on Epstein Island.
	With both chips running simultaneously, Trump could be a whole person again.
	That night, Trump snuck out of his bedroom in the residential wing and crept through the White House, down towards the basement, where Elon had set up a makeshift lab.
	There were dozens of monitors stacked haphazardly, and a large metal dentist chair bolted to the floor.
	It looked like an execution chamber.
	Elon had on a lab coat, sloppily thrown over a t-shirt with the slogan, hoof-hearted.
	I don't, I don't, what?
	What?
	Hoof-hearted, like hoof?
	Hoof-hearted, H-O-O-F-H-E-A-R-T-E-D. Yeah?
	No, please, please explain this to me.
	Hoof-hearted.
	Oh, like half-hearted.
	Who farted?
	No, who farted?
	Who farted?
	You're so dumb.
	You're so dumb.
	Oh, my lord.
	Oh, come on.
	Unbelievable.
	I just couldn't...
	My mind couldn't go low enough to see it.
	We're ready for you, Mr. President.
	This is like the version of Elon who's on, like, ketamine all the time.
	Out of the shadows, a group of...
	A group of broccoli-headed boys descended on Trump.
	They gently grabbed his arms and legs and lifted him up off the ground, carrying him over to the chair.
	Elon produced a long, thin-looking drill.
	Are you sure you want to do this, Mr. President?
	It's not a perfect science, you know.
	Trump nodded reassuringly.
	Elon, I would rather become a vegetable for the rest of my life than miss out on so many incredible experiences.
	Elon took a deep breath.
	Alright then.
	Here we go.
	He quickly unscrewed Trump's hair and peeled back a wrinkled layer of skin, exposing the president's rotting brain.
	Elon then took aim and inserted a long, thick needle deep into the center of the pulsing mass.
	For a brief moment, Trump could feel blood flowing to his penis.
	What?
	Why?
	Why write this in?
	Debated whether to delete it.
	We're just checking in with how his penis is feeling.
	Just a tiny moment.
	There was one millisecond.
	But a second later, it was gone.
	That should do it, Elon remarked.
	He replaced the flap of skin and tightened Trump's hair.
	Well, what do you see?
	Trump clamped his hands around his temples and gritted his teeth as the memories flooded in like a tsunami.
	He blinked and was in a completely different place, a well-lit street in Antigua.
	The bars were just letting out.
	Epstein was shirtless under a giant Michael Jordan starter jacket, picking a fight with a guitar player on the sidewalk.
	Now he was in a candlelit bedroom.
	Epstein and Bill Clinton were passing around a huge smoldering joint.
	Dude, my fucking cousin grows this shit like two miles away from here.
	He told me his dad smoked it and fucking died.
	Alright.
	You can do it, man.
	Dude, my fucking cousin grows this shit like two miles from here.
	He told me his dad smoked it and fucking died.
	The guy started laughing.
	God!
	God!
	Memories of depraved sex galloped into Trump's brain at the speed of light.
	The Kentucky Klondike bar, the Alabama Hot Pocket, the cold lunch.
	He was doing it all and loving it.
	Are those sex positions?
	Those are all made-up sex positions that Jake has come up with.
	Good stuff.
	No, those are real.
	Those are real.
	I looked it up.
	I don't have any comment.
	I looked it up.
	Hey, only the best research.
	What did you look up?
	A joke book of positions?
	Hey, man.
	Hey, man.
	We got the internet over here.
	He tapped into, like, every frat boy's brain, like the Borg.
	Yes.
	The more Trump reintegrated with his severed self, the better he began to feel.
	This was who he really was.
	A demonic Lothario with a sexual appetite that would make even the most alpha male blush.
	Not some buttoned-up politician who shook hands and signed orders.
	I think it's working.
	Trump mumbled, a rope of drool beginning to dangle from the corner of his lip.
	He clasped his head again as a new memory burrowed its way into his brain.
	He was on a bed with the fucking hottest woman of his life.
	Twice as hot as Melania.
	Three times as hot.
	And she loved Donald three times as much.
	There was nothing but unbridled passion in her eyes as the pair tongue-kissed beneath the shade of an island cabana.
	Donald had orgasm after orgasm, each more powerful than the last.
	The pair collapsed onto the toweled beach chairs, lingering in one another's arms for a moment, an eternity.
	A shadow crossed in front of them.
	Donald looked up to see former President Bill Clinton standing at the edge of the cabana with a towel wrapped loosely around his waist.
	The woman stroked Trump's cheek flirtatiously.
	Well, that's my cue.
	The young woman sat up and gracefully glided to the door of the beach hut.
	Till next time, Madam President.
	Trump looked confused.
	He slumped forward a little in his chair.
	Elon began making a couple worried keystrokes on a nearby terminal.
	Hmm, that doesn't make any sense.
	What's going on?
	Trump gulped, his head still reeling from reintegration.
	Elon squinted, scrolling rapidly through hundreds of lines of code.
	It appears the chip used code from Grok 2, not Grok 3, so it was able to source an authentic, severed individual in Epstein's network, just not you.
	Trump looked up at Elon, his blood turning ice cold.
	Then who?
	He asked meatly.
	Trump was back in the cabana.
	The sun was beginning to set.
	The temperature dropped.
	Bill Clinton sat down on the edge of the beach chair and put his hand on Donald's thigh.
	It was so hot watching you two together.
	I've fallen in love I've fallen in love with you all over again Bill's breath was hot.
	It smelled like fish food.
	His skin was hanging off his neck.
	This man was a corpse.
	A horny one.
	Trump's nose began to bleed.
	Take it out!
	Trump gargled.
	Elon stood up from the terminal.
	The brain is rejecting the chip.
	Very soon, the severed personality will begin to eclipse the primary.
	He shouted desperately at one of the...
	He shouted desperately at one of the broccoli-headed boys, Don't you get it?
	If you don't get that ship out of there, Hillary Clinton will become president of the United States, and everything we've paid for will be lost.
	The boys sprung into action, grabbing an assorted set of medical instruments and began working on the back of the president's skull.
	Within seconds, Trump had slumped over and stopped breathing, as none of the boys had any medical training whatsoever.
	Trump opened his eyes.
	He was back on that beach.
	The turquoise waves crashed against the pristine white sand.
	In the distance, a striking blue and white temple reflecting rays of the golden sun.
	Hey, honey.
	Trump looked up to see Bill Clinton buttoning up his expensive linen shirt.
	Me and Jeff are gonna go take Stephen Hawking on a submarine.
	He's gonna be madder than a sweet potato dropped on it.
	I can't fucking do it.
	Madder than a sweet potato dropped on its side.
	He's gonna be mad.
	He's gonna be madder.
	Can't even do the Bill Clinton impression anymore.
	Me and Jeff are gonna go take Stephen Hawking on the submarine.
	He's gonna be madder than a sweet potato dropped on its side.
	You wanna come?
	Surely he was in hell, Trump decided.
	Bill leaned in and kissed him deeply.
	And then, afterwards, you and I are gonna warm up like a slice of pecan pie.
	How's that sound?
	He took off towards the dock, calling out, Last one on the submarine's rotten egg!
	Maybe it wasn't hell, Trump thought.
	He was at ease.
	There were no more orders to sign.
	No more political pressure.
	Even his headache was totally gone.
	On the beach were a handful of other politicians and celebrities, soaking up the final rays of sun.
	Many of them were his friends.
	Maybe there was a life here worth living.
	And, at the very least, there were a lot of perks.
	The end.
	Beautiful.
	Beautiful twist.
	Didn't know where you were going with it, but he stuck the landing.
	Another masterpiece.
	You know, I don't know where it comes from.
	You know, at about 12.07 a.m.
	every night, somebody else takes over and these stories get written.
	I like the idea of the Dune, Aaliyah, Abomination, Trump, where Hillary is taken over, but then it's the exact same administration.
	Yeah.
	I think maybe, who knows, maybe there will be a part two to this.
	Maybe they'll be able to get the, maybe they'll be able to get Trump Prime's personality back.
	We'll see.
	Season two.
	Apple, give me a call.
	Severed season two is not that good, so.
	Be careful.
	That's all I'm saying.
	A very hot take at the end of an otherwise great podcast.
	I thought it was good.
	I don't want to see that guy's face anymore.
	I've been liking season two.
	You just don't like Adam Scott.
	No, I don't like him.
	I do.
	I like him.
	Except if he wants to, like, I don't know, come on the podcast and stuff, but otherwise he's...
	Adam, don't listen to Julia.
	Yeah, maybe, Adam, if you want to star in, like, we could do more Severed Parodies, mixing Epstein, talk about sex between Bill and Hillary Clinton, two very old people.
	Interested in that?
	We can absolutely sit down and have a chat.
	So that's where we're at with the woes of the D-class of Jeffrey Epstein.
	Still talking about this after many, many years.
	Yes, and again, like after many, many years, nothing has ever happened.
	Nothing ever will, folks.
	I would love it if something happened.
	Please, Kash Patel, I am the only one here who believes in you.
	Thank you for listening to another episode of the QAA Podcast.
	You can go to patreon.com slash QAA and subscribe for $5 a month to get a whole second episode every single week and access to our entire archive of premium episodes.
	Liv, where can people find more of your work?
	I have a newsletter, liveagar.com, and I stream on Twitch sometimes, twitch.tv slash liveagar.
	Go check it out, folks.
	For everything else, we've got a website.
	That's qaapodcast.com.
	Listener, until next week, may the salted ham and potatoes bless you and keep you.
	Thank you, Bill.
	We have auto-keyed content based on your preferences. - This is What the hell's going on with this list, man?
	Epstein?
	What's going on?
	You know I had it.
	I'm glad you did.
	He's probably the only guy I'm going to ask.
	Well, and I think...
	Like, what's going on there?
	I was on with Geraldo last night, and he says he doesn't think it exists.
	I don't think it exists anymore.
	I think they've doctored it, and I don't think we shouldn't trust what comes out.
	I just think they've delayed it, and there was no...
	And she was way over her skis when she said that it's, you know, it's sitting on my desk.
	Now, why the heck would she say that?
	Why would she say that?
	I mean, she's big dogging it, and it blew up in her face.
	That was a stupid move.
	So apparently a big dump truck full of evidence came into the DOJ after some key firings in the FBI. Do you believe that?
	Yeah.
	I'll believe it when I see it.
	Okay.
	Just like the Kennedy files and the UFO files and RFK and JFK. It's just been too long, and all of a sudden, you know, we're going to look at...
	President Trump starts raising cane about John F. Kennedy, and all of a sudden they find 14,000 new files just out of the blue.
	I mean, it's like, what is this Raiders of the Lost Ark, you know, warehouse that they got this stuff in?
	I don't know.
	It's ridiculous.
	It's a cover-up.
	The sewer is groaning right now because of Donald J. Trump.

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