Conspiracy theorists are finally admitting that human beings DO have an impact on climate change. But it’s not our ever-increasing carbon footprint, no, it’s actually just a very specific group of people who have unlocked the technology to CONTROL the weather – and direct it at their political enemies. In this episode we break down the multitude of conspiracy theories surrounding recent hurricanes Helene and Milton, and Liv threatens to steal a hurricane patent from Bill Gates (we’re all rooting for her).
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Editing by Corey Klotz. Theme by Nick Sena. Additional music by Pontus Berghe. Theme Vocals by THEY/LIVE (https://instagram.com/theyylivve / https://sptfy.com/QrDm). Cover Art by Pedro Correa: (https://pedrocorrea.com)
https://qaapodcast.com
QAA was known as the QAnon Anonymous podcast.
Welcome to the QAA Podcast, Premium Episode 263, Storms Upon Us.
As always, we are your hosts, Jake Rakatansky, Liv Akar, and Travis View.
The United States, 2024, on the once blue planet Earth.
Centuries of violence, greed, and chaos have reduced its inhabitants to shell-shocked husks, stuffing their dry, digital mouths with stale images of popcorn as they point their greasy fingers at one another, trying to pin whatever tragedy strikes next on their political enemy.
Massive storms rage as the less fortunate scurry for cover, picking up the dropped tatters of half-eaten snacks as they try and seek shelter.
Meteorologists appear on tiny, mobile screens, weeping in sheer terror as hurricanes begin to approach the mathematical limit of what the physics of this world allow.
The camera fades to black.
Interior. Low traffic women's restroom.
Capitol building. Washington, D.C. Night.
So it's like a screenplay.
It's not even...
It's a nice tucked away work restroom.
The one you find after you've had the job for a couple years.
A small slice of heaven.
Well kept, with plenty of TP, and barely anyone knows it exists.
Angle on. Marjorie Taylor Greene, blonde, late 50s, an idiot, is sitting in one of the stalls, her thumb hovering over a button that simply reads, Post.
She hesitates for a moment.
The tweet contained a theory she'd been kicking around for the last 15 years or so.
It wasn't a question of whether Marjorie herself believed the statement, no.
She knew it to be true.
It was more an issue of whether or not the tweet would get her in trouble of some sort.
Marjorie scoffed to herself.
What trouble could she possibly get into for simply stating an inarguable fact, a scientific principle as firm as the toilet paper in this low-traffic third-floor Capitol bathroom?
Besides, she was a congresswoman.
She let out a long, scathing fart, a total indictment of all that was good and true in this world, before posting the tweet.
Yes, they can control the weather.
It's ridiculous for anyone to lie and say it can't be done.
Which is, this is an insane tweet, by the way.
It's unreal.
Yes, they can control the weather, and it's ridiculous for anyone to lie and say it can't be done.
It's so, the way she phrased it is not even just, they are controlling the weather.
It's like, anyone who does not, who is not in this rabbit hole, is beyond the pale.
You have to be a fucking moron to know that they don't control the weather.
It's great that this is just, I should have seen this coming, that this is going to be like the far right line about climate change.
Because it's like surely you're like, you're dying of like heat stroke, you're getting hit by hurricanes, swamps have risen up to like up to New York that are like now leading to like a bunch of diseases being transmitted that like normally wouldn't have to work.
And you'd be like, well, I guess they're probably right about climate change.
I guess I was wrong about that one.
But no, of course not.
No, you're like, who can I blame this apocalypse on?
Yeah, it's not carbon emission.
It is man-made, but it's the weather machine.
It's not carbon emissions.
Yeah, that's such a funny point.
Yeah, because it's like we're in control.
It makes you feel better because humanity still has the sort of conscious ability to affect things.
It's not like we've lost the rails.
We're not skirting. Our car isn't hydroplaning into a barrier.
Yeah. Yeah, it's funny because a major principle of conspiracism is this idea of it's a world ruled by teleology.
There's always human intention between all events, and every event of history is perfectly planned by some sort of malicious puppet masters.
And here, we have a real kind of conspiracy.
They were oil companies, and then they discovered at some point that their product, if it was used without any regulation, if it was used as the population rose, it would cause to heat the planet.
But they covered it up.
And then they allowed it to happen anyway, and they deceived people.
And so you'd think that'd be interesting, but that's kind of like a long-term kind of boring conspiracy theory.
They want the short-term planning.
They don't believe decades of manipulation and deceit for the sake of billions of dollars.
They want people thinking that they used the special weather manipulation tactics a couple months ago.
Marjorie snapped her phone closed.
She'd recently gotten the Samsung Galaxy Z Flip 5.
It was a terrific phone with lots of power.
This is only the kind of joke you can get away with when Julian's taking off work.
Of course. She was satisfied with herself.
It was time to let her constituents know that she did in fact believe in they and that these Jewish people did in fact control the weather.
Her phone lit up with notifications.
Heh, she thought. The sounds of unanimous support.
Marjorie was proud that she was leading the charge amongst her fellow politicians to publicly support weather manipulation conspiracy theories.
It would have been helpful for her to sound the alarm a little bit earlier, as a massive hurricane had ripped through the southern United States only days earlier, killing hundreds, including dozens in Marjorie's own state of Georgia.
But, oh well.
Marjorie Taylor Greene opened her phone to bask in the replies, but her expression soon soured.
The initial handful of replies from other Twitter users were not positive.
Dozens of former and current Republicans who had made fortunes online breaking ties with Trump, but done little else, flooded her replies with dishes and dunks.
Marjorie scoured the replies for her most blistering critic, podcaster, and sometimes journalist Travis View.
He was nowhere to be found.
In fact, Travis wasn't online at all.
He was somewhere else.
A place where congresswomen weren't pilled and couldn't post.
A place where massive trees reached down from the skies like the fingers of God, gently caressing Travis as he hiked the glorious trails in Sequoia National Park.
Exterior. Sequoia.
National Park. Morning.
Travis's hair glistened in the early October morning.
All right. Okay. That's fine.
I think we can do it for that.
No, I shouldn't. I shouldn't do the entire episode like a screenplay?
You don't think the listeners would want that?
No, no, no, no.
I think this particular kind of content is best handled in smaller doses.
Correct. Correct. Well, folks, it is clear that Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene has not parted ways with her idiotic beliefs, and that the broad community of conspiracy theorists that seem to be becoming more and more mainstream as this election year drags on are trying to universally debunk weather.
So this is great.
I feel great. This is awesome.
I'm not kidding when I say, by the way, that I saw conspiracy theories about the two horrific hurricanes online before I saw any actual information about them.
Like, the conspiracy theories came first.
And although I'm not ruling out that my feed is cursed, and also that's kind of just how Twitter is now with Elon at the helm.
Only on X. The Everything app.
You've been listening to a sample of a premium episode of the QAA podcast.
For access to the full episode as well as all past premium episodes and all of our podcast miniseries, go to patreon.com slash QAA. Travis, why is that such a good deal?
Well, Jake, you get hundreds of additional episodes of the QAA podcast for just $5 per month.
For that very low price, you get access to over 200 premium episodes, plus all of our miniseries.
That includes 10 episodes of Man Clan with Julian and Annie, 10 episodes of Perverts with Julian and Liv, 10 episodes of The Spectral Voyager with Jake and Brad, plus 20 episodes of Trickle Down with me, Travis View.
It's a bounty of content and the best deal in podcasting.
Travis, for once, I agree with you.
And I also agree that people could subscribe by going to patreon.com slash QAA. Well, that's not an opinion.
It's a fact. You're so right, Jake.
We love and appreciate all of our listeners.
Yes, we do. And Travis is actually crying right now, I think?
