Robbie Williams played by a CG Chimp, Russian spy beluga death, an incestuous poisoning through rave drugs, and the Harris campaign making “brain sludge content”. Liv and Julian get Jake’s takes on all of the above, plus some tweets from a fake Q account on X and the latest Andrew Tate freakout. Relax. Everybody just relax. It’s the return of Jake’s Takes.
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QAA was known as the QAnon Anonymous podcast.
Welcome to the QAA Podcast, Premium Episode 259, Jake's Takes, Volume 4.
You asked for it, we're giving it to you.
As always, we are your hosts, Jake Rakitansky, Liv Aker, and Julian Field, who's here to, you know, spill some tea about my two co-hosts right off the bat.
So Liv, you got too drunk Friday night and then did not go to a baseball game that you planned to go to on Saturday.
Yes, but it's a Vancouver baseball game, so I was not missing out on anything.
Canadians don't play baseball, come on.
No, yeah.
No, Canadians, especially West Coast, no.
The city, our wrists are too limp.
How early into your night of drinking did you have that moment with yourself where you went, I'm not going to that baseball game tomorrow?
Honestly, probably 10pm.
Got to 10, you were having a good time, you were like, my night's not ending any time soon and I don't see myself getting any less drunk.
I don't think I'm going to go to that baseball game.
Who wanted to go anyways?
Yeah.
It's rough.
I, 26, I'm starting to get to the point where the hangovers really affect me.
You've got no idea.
It gets so much worse.
Just wait, you hit 30, you have two drinks and you get to, you know, the stage of like drunkenness where, um, you feel like you're going to throw up.
You get to that point before you're drunk.
You take two drinks and you're like, oh, my tummy, I don't feel so good.
And you're not even drunk whatsoever.
Completely sober, but sick.
That is amazing because coming from you, because you drink like such chemical concoctions made up by like Starbucks or these companies.
That stuff is total insane sludge.
I have a new thing.
So I've been going to Starbucks and every now and again, I like switch up my order because I get tired of whatever my usual is.
And now I have an order so complicated that I've I just made up a menu name for it in the hopes that they understand.
So I basically I would they I.
I basically am just like, it's this drink, but like, instead of this syrup, use this syrup.
Instead of being like, ice shake and espresso, no classic, with oat milk and two pumps of toffee nut syrup and vanilla sweet cream cold foam.
Like, that I'm embarrassed to say every time I go to the thing.
So I just go, I just make up a name for it.
And then if they, when they look confused, then I elaborate.
I like that you have Lil Wayne's health, but you never touch drugs.
Somehow, you've matched what it would be to drink codeine syrup all fucking day.
Yeah.
What do you mean fucking- These syrups- Find my own way.
These syrups, that's gonna turn me into a coffee-flavored coffee guy.
This fucking syrup shit.
Yeah.
Everyone's just pumping themselves full of syrup.
Yeah, and a lot of times for a long time I wasn't doing any kind of syrup whatsoever.
I was just doing the cold brew with a little splash of oat milk from whoever had it.
Some places cold brew obviously better than others, but recently I've been on a syrup kick.
I don't know.
Okay.
I'm not feeling it at all.
Now I do feel like one of those old boomer conservatives where it's just like, I want espresso, I want froth milk.
None of this liberal bullshit.
Yeah, absolutely.
Jake, it's good that you're qualifying it as a kick because once you get diabetes, you won't be able to kick anymore.
Well, I am doing a lot to actively combat this said diabetes, so I think I'm going to be all right.
What's the combat?
Well, I've been going to cycle classes three times a week.
I've been going for over a month now.
Nice!
This is the first time that I've consistently exercised in a really long time.
I'm not gonna lie, when you told me that you started doing that, I was like, oh, thank God.
Just as someone who cares about you staying alive.
Like as a friend.
Look, hey, look, my mom listens to the show, alright?
Things weren't that dire beforehand, okay?
But, but I had gone to, I had gone, I had my, my 41st, like, physic, doctor's physical.
Yeah.
And it was fine!
It wasn't, like, I was going in, you know, of course as an anxious person, I go into the doctor being like, they're gonna be like, well...
Proctologist is like, sir, it appears your ass is filled with hazelnut syrup.
That they're going to find something awful or they're going to be like, oh, you've grown a tail.
Proctologist is like, sir, it appears your ass is filled with hazelnut syrup.
It's like, sir, you actually have inverted butt cheeks.
We've never seen this before.
And you'll never be able to wear a proper pair of pants again.
Wait, so like concave buttcheeks?
Yeah, like concave buttcheeks.
Like at the ridge of the two concave, there's like an asshole still?
So little of an ass that like no pants will fit, no belt will help.
But anyways, I went in and it was a pretty good doctor's appointment, but he was like, Yeah, there's a couple things that you can work on, and you're at that point in your life where if you don't start working on it now, it gets much, much, much harder to change some of these habits.
So I went hard.
There was somebody on Twitter, I remember around my birthday, somebody was like, well, time to hit the gym hard.
And I took that advice to heart.
And so I've been going, I've been doing these cycle classes.
Do you remember who that was?
No.
Which is one of our beloved listeners.
A saint.
Some sort of saint.
I have a handful of DM conversations with folks from like the very early days of QAA.
Yeah, they know you're the vulnerable point.
No, it's basically just like kind of like friendships that have formed over time because like at the very very beginning people who liked the show was like wait a
Man you like this show and like you listen to it like you're subscribing to us on patreon like that's crazy Jake is like the part of the boss's body if if the boss is QA that's like flashing Yeah, all you have to do is like a well-placed like grappling hook shot like tear that piece of armor away exposing the the yellow flashing like Fleshy fleshy a weak point So Liv is living it up on yacht parties.
Didn't you go to a rave as well?
I went to a concert last night.
Lane 8.
It was EDM.
It was very good.
Okay.
I don't know anything about that and I don't... I don't know.
The term EDM already makes me as like an old like Tecto in a house head.
Was it a lot of like... No, no, no, no.
The wubs are gone.
That's more like... Yeah, it's more like... It's more like...
A bit more like that.
A bit more chill, you know?
That's what we're doing.
Okay.
Alright.
Day to kids.
Wait.
What?
I might have heard... Lane 8, you said?
I think so, yeah.
They might play them in cycle class.
In cycle class, they play all of this crazy music that I've never heard of before.
Does it get you jazzed up?
Yeah, I mean, sometimes.
For me, I still kind of like the Wub Wubs.
When the Wub Wubs come in, I go, ooh, all right, time to pedal a little bit harder.
I will say one thing, though.
They played Beverly Hills by Weezer at one point, and I was like, Jake had a heart attack.
He pedaled so hard he broke the bike.
I like some of the deeper cuts, but whatever.
I was like, a Weezer song?
From this young instructor in the cycle bar class?
This is nuts.
And at the end of the song she goes, just in case you wanted to know what your dads workout.
Yes!
Completely destroyed.
You've been listening to a sample of a premium episode of the QAA podcast.
For access to the full episode, as well as all past premium episodes and all of our podcast miniseries, go to patreon.com slash QAA.
Travis, why is that such a good deal?
Well, Jake, you get hundreds of additional episodes of the QAA podcast for just $5 per month.
For that very low price, you get access to over 200 premium episodes, plus all of our miniseries.
That includes 10 episodes of Man Clan with Julian and Annie, 10 episodes of Pervers with Julian and Liv, 10 episodes of The Spectral Voyager with Jake and Brad, plus 20 episodes of Trickle Down with me, Travis View.
It's a bounty of content and the best deal in podcasting.
Travis, for once, I agree with you.
And I also agree that people could subscribe by going to patreon.com slash QAA.
