QAA - PERVERTS Episode 3: Dating Apps feat Jamie Loftus (Sample)
Aired: 2023-12-21
Duration: 03:38


=== Never Good, Always Dating (03:38) ===

[00:00:00]  *outro* I'm Julian Fields.
[00:00:17]  And this is the Perverts Podcast, where we venture into horny online subcultures and take you along for the ride.
[00:00:24]  Life is the act of perusing a catalog for the best products the market has to offer.
[00:00:29]  All people are interchangeable, and it's your job to leaf through them, always seeking something new, different, and better.
[00:00:36]  Simultaneously, you're also a commodity for everybody else to consider, responsible for writing your own pitch and taking your own product photography.
[00:00:43]  If you do this correctly, you'll create an effective sales funnel guiding potential partners from awareness to consideration before the sale is closed and you can shift to engendering brand loyalty.
[00:00:54]  Now, if this feels overwhelming, hollow even, do not worry.
[00:00:58]  Technology's here to help you with every step of the process through a set of holistic solutions known as dating apps.
[00:01:05]  They're increasingly both the way people meet romantic partners and find out that beneath the surface of every stranger runs a turbulent river of horniness and aggression.
[00:01:14]  So strap on your scuba gear and pinch your nose, fellow pervert, as we tumble backwards into these dark waters together.
[00:01:21]  Just don't forget to breathe.
[00:01:23]  Joining us in the swipe den is Jamie Loftus, comedian and author of Raw Dog, The Truth About Hot Dogs.
[00:01:30]  Welcome, Jamie.
[00:01:31]  Hi, thank you so much for inviting me to your horneous space.
[00:01:36]  It's truly an honor.
[00:01:37]  Of course.
[00:01:38]  And yeah, you'll serve a bit as our analog correspondent.
[00:01:41]  Someone who, after a short attempt to use dating apps about five years ago, you told us, went completely analog and have had awful results, just like the rest of us.
[00:01:51]  So just to find out that the grass is always greener in the past thing.
[00:01:55]  We're not doing one of those fascist, like, things used to be better.
[00:01:58]  There was a nice pastoral, you know, trad past.
[00:02:01]  I think that my conclusion is things were never good and never will be.
[00:02:07]  There's no good approach and there's mostly bad results.
[00:02:11]  Fantastic.
[00:02:12]  Yeah.
[00:02:13]  In this episode, we'll be hearing stories from our perverts listeners, listening to a voicemail from our beloved Jake Rakotansky about one of his awful experiences, and Liv has prepared a rundown of some of her own experiences in the magical world of dating apps.
[00:02:27]  Yes.
[00:02:28]  Very, very pleasant stuff.
[00:02:30]  Lots of fun.
[00:02:30]  Yes.
[00:02:31]  Yes.
[00:02:32]  I mean, if you follow Liv on Twitter, you know she gets only positive attention from sane people.
[00:02:37]  Yeah.
[00:02:37]  No, I mean, getting a lot of male attention online is just really fun and pleasant.
[00:02:42]  Yeah.
[00:02:43]  No nuts.
[00:02:44]  Dating app stories.
[00:02:46]  We will start with one dubbed Care Bear Girl.
[00:02:50]  This was written in from Radocity1.
[00:02:53]  Up front, this woman was 30 years old.
[00:02:57]  That's never good.
[00:02:57]  That's never good that you have to say that up front.
[00:03:00]  So, about five years ago, I had a date with someone I met on Coffee Meet Bagel, some twee dating app.
[00:03:06]  She seemed normal enough when we were chatting, so we agreed to go to some breakfast plate for a date with me picking her up.
[00:03:13]  Right off the bat, she came out to my car in Care Bear pajamas.
[00:03:16]  Okay, I'm seeing why the upfront was included.
[00:03:21]  You've been listening to a sample of The Pervert's Podcast.
[00:03:24]  To get access to this miniseries as well as previous QAA miniseries and the entire archive of premium episodes, go to patreon.com slash QAA and subscribe for just five bucks a month.
[00:03:35]  Thank you, beautiful gooners.
[00:03:37]  And goonettes.