Taylor Swift is secretly gay — according to a movement born on Tumblr that lurched into QAnon territory. Liv Agar leads us down the rabbithole of this years-long fever dream.
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Liv Agar: http://livagar.com / http://linktr.ee/livagar
Music by DJ DEATH and Roopen.
http://qanonanonymous.com
Welcome listener to the 235th premium chapter of the QAA podcast, the Gaylor episode.
As always, we are your hosts, a very sick Jake Rokitansky, Liv Acar, Julian Fields, and Travis View.
You're gay!
That is what some people are saying about Taylor Swift.
And also certain members of this podcast.
There are allegations which have been leveled the way of several of these hosts.
Namely, Travis View, who is wearing a multi-color tie-dye shirt today that is in celebration of LGBT people.
Jake is sick.
I'm also sick.
I've been sick for like fucking 12 days.
Jake is wearing one of those little adhesive strips that keeps your nose open.
COVID COVID still a thing guys despite uh no mention no mention of it uh uh you know from from the people that you would think would be talking about it still very much a thing you can still get very sick Julian I suspect also has COVID I do not!
I fucking tested and I don't have COVID.
I got sick twice.
The first one wasn't COVID and this one I don't think is COVID either.
There's just a lot of stuff going around.
Give it a couple days.
I tested negative like two days ago and then wham-bam-bow.
Wham-bam-bow.
Indeed, as we begin another episode of the QAnon, the QAA, formerly known, the artist formerly known as QAnon Anonymous, now referred to as QAA, Liv, What the hell is this bullshit?
I'm sick of it!
Every single time it's something, something totally weird that I don't understand and that you have to explain to me.
This one is about people being secretly gay, so I hope that you can relate possibly a little bit more.
I have been struck it's true by the rocket that makes you gay.
Um... I was... We are...
This one's gonna be an unhinged one, I can already feel it.
Oh yeah.
Okay, well, I mean, why not jump in?
I believe you have something to tell us about crabs.
Carcinization is a form of divergent evolution where non-crab crustacean species independently evolve to appear similar to crabs.
I'm always saying that.
This is presumably because something related to crab morphology just works so well in particular aquatic niches.
While QAA obviously isn't a biology podcast yet, a sort of similar thing has happened like this in relation to QAnon.
Q's disappearance following Trump's electoral defeat in 2020 has led to the theory itself being far less relevant.
There's something about the general structure of QAnon that has never really gone away and seems to have existed far before the theory began.
The people simply yearn for an anonymous insider source that confirms their conspiratorial suspicions.
It is truly the crab of conspiracy theories.
Or maybe the crab of cults more broadly.
And as QAnon itself has become less relevant, this pod has delved into a few of these doppelgangers.
We've had episodes on QAnon except in Canada, QAnon but in the 19th century, QAnon for the stock market, etc.
But one arena for QAnonization that has gone criminally under-researched on the pod is QAnon for girlies.
Oh, you're gonna arrest us?
Cause we're butch?
That is what today's episode is about.
A fairly innocent theory considering the sexuality of an international pop star that slowly devolved into cryptic bakes of anonymous accounts, racism, homophobia, and anti-semitism.
Taylor Swift, I assume, needs no introduction.
I'm really happy for you.
I'm gonna let you finish.
But for those who are vaguely unaware, she's a musician whose fame and music output has been fairly intimately connected with attention from tabloids.
Since 2008, Taylor has been the subject of many a gossip column, speculating on the nature of the dozen or so public relationships she's had with famous musicians and actors.
And music has always been fairly connected, even in a cryptic way, to these relationships.
Her songs function as tell-alls about specific relationships she's had.
And I say cryptic, as these songs don't tend to explicitly mention who they're about, typically requiring fans to piece together info from gossip rags, or information given by Taylor, in order to discover their true context.
Barring the fact that I personally think it would be terrifying to commodify my closest personal relationships, having your love and breakup songs actually be about someone is a rather smart marketing strategy.
I would personally just shake it off.
That's just me, though.
You're a Swifty, I assume?
I've never heard a joke fall flatter.
Fuck!
I learned about this song last episode and I had to ask about it, remember?
I love it.
This is a whole new category of humor of Julian trying to make basic pop culture references to tap into a somewhat normal sense of humor as opposed to a totally melted...
Hellfire, tortured, you know, whatever is your main... I can't even... My inner life?
I don't even know what I'm talking about.
No, you had me!
You had me dead to rights!
I had you dead!
You know what?
I had you dead and then I let you go because my brain couldn't finish the bit.
Jake looks in the barrel, sees the fish, misses the fish.
Misses the fish, and goes through the barrel, stabs my toe, can't walk anymore.
Has to wear the barrel.
Yeah, has to wear diapers now somehow.
What?
I said wear the barrel!
But yes, you have to wear diapers in the barrel too.
Alright, Liv, please take us away from this bit.
If fans can know that a song is real and that the emotion she's expressing isn't manufactured, it facilitates a more intimate, parasocial, we might say, connection.
To take an old example, this is her on Ellen in 2008 promoting her album Fearless, revealing that she and Joe Jonas, a previous public relationship, had broken up.
One of the Jonas Brothers?
You know, I like those Jonas Brothers.
I always have.
Okay, Grandma.
We hate Joe Jonas.
He's problematic.
Oh, he is?
Okay.
The last video I saw of them was like 15 years ago, so you have to forgive me.
Very rude to Sansa Stark.
Very rude to the Queen of the North, folks.
Very inconsiderate.
Joe Jonas?
He's in Game of Thrones?
Or he was rude to her outside of the No, Joe Jonas is in Game of Thrones, yeah.
He is?
Who is he?
He's like the boy king?
Little thinker, I think.
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