Premium Episode 192: The Reptilian Conspiracy Theory (Sample)
One in 25 Americans is certain. We live ruled over by reptilians. So how was this belief system born, and how was its story carried through time? This is the studio version of the segment Travis View wrote for our recent tour. From Richard Shaver to Maurice Doreal to David Icke — we examine the genesis of the reptilian conspiracy theory.
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Music by Pontus Berghe. Editing by Corey Klotz.
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Welcome, listener, to Premium Chapter 192 of the QAnon Anonymous podcast, the Reptilians episode.
As always, we are your hosts, Jake Rokitansky, Julian Fields, and Travis View.
Hello, listeners.
Today, we're going to be diving into the reptilian segment that one Travis View wrote for us and for this tour.
So we cannot wait to share that with you.
Tour almost killed us.
Tour almost killed us!
I know.
I feel bad that I played that pup.
If this tour doesn't kill you, I will song to you guys over and over again.
You were tempting fate!
And then it actually... You literally summoned a blizzard like some sort of ancient Celtic... I also probably said too many times on tour that I don't even want to be around anymore.
Yes.
Which manifested in the form of the, uh, three blizzards.
Yeah, they tried to erase us like they were Whiteout.
They tried to erase us like they erased a, uh, like a 16-ton, like, car carrier, uh, truck.
They tried to redact Jake with Whiteout.
They tried to get him, folks.
Uh, but we survived, and we all took turns, we all took our turns driving through that, those horrible blizzards, which I guarantee you we could have died in.
Like, there were, there was an entire car carrier just, uh, Essentially snowed in because it had gone off the road moments before.
Yeah.
Julian, with all the cars in it still.
Julian, as we passed it.
Multiple flipped cars and just cars off the side of the road.
As we passed this car carrier, Julian was like, it looks like it's been there for 200 years.
Which it did.
But I also found that very funny.
It did have a very Last of Us kind of feel as we witnessed the remnants of vehicles that were once on the road just sort of tilted into the sides of ditches, long abandoned.
Yeah, vehicles that had passed us like five minutes prior, we would be like, oh, there goes another brave, there goes another one for the ditch.
And then sure enough, like five minutes later, 10 minutes later, we would drive by it and it skidded off.
And it was like in the middle of the ditch in the center of the freeway.
And honestly, I got to say, you know, shout out to the Canadian border guard who... Oh yeah.
Treated us, I think, like an armor that's like helping someone get ready for a suicide mission combined with just bullying us a little bit and making fun of us for being totally unprepared and clearly just rubes.
Mostly making fun of me for having my passport in the back of the van.
Yeah.
So just fucking it up that bad, like, that if you are carrying drugs, this would be like a fatal mistake or something.
So just laughing at how inept we are, if we were in any way trying to get away with something bad.
And then just kind of waving us through because he was like, just get out of my sight.
Just get out of my sight.
I don't want to deal with you.
The only thing really working for us, yeah, is the fact that we are like adorable dorks who weren't up to anything bad.
But the funniest part of all of this is... Some people call us try guys.
Funniest part of all this is that the entire time I was berating Julian about, like, him, you know, crossing the border, you know, can't have any, you know, can't have any nonsense in the car, you know, all this stuff.
And then we find out later that Travis View, our very own Travis View... I don't know if you should admit to, like, a crime.
In the name of Travis View on the podcast.
Well, Travis View isn't a real name, and also- Let's just leave it at that.
He committed a crime, folks, okay?
He was the criminal, and then I was the prepared one, and Jake was the not prepared one.
All his fears came true, but not in me!
Because he had focused on me, and he was victimizing me, and a lot of people don't see that that's the real relationship, is I'm kind of being bullied.
Yeah, and I hadn't seen my own follies.
Yeah, I was blinded to them.
So, yeah, it all worked out, though.
We survived.
We're back.
We're back.
We're so fucking back.
And we're here to present to those of you who couldn't join us in person, and thank you to everybody who did.
It was great meeting all of you.
It's the album version.
That's what we're doing.
Yeah, this is the album version of the live show.
So, yeah, I can't wait to share that with everybody.
And, hey, I mean, while we're here, why not mention that Kanye West said, yeah, there's a lot of things I love about Hitler and, like, Hitler rules.
Dude, you're underselling it.
I watched some of the clips and Kanye was like, there's a lot that I love about Hitler.
That's our last auto cue for the last episode.
It's just like so crazy.
A lot.
And he keeps drawing it out and it's like...
Oh my god, man!
As Alex Jones is trying to help him talk about Hugo Boss instead, he's like, no, I get it, you know, the tailoring, you're a designer.
He's like, no, no, no, there's a lot.
I love it.
I knew that we were in a bad place when there were people on the internet who seemed somewhat sympathetic.
to Alex Jones.
Dear God.
Welcome to the resistance, Alex Jones.
Thank you for helping us fight fascism.
Yes, yes, thank you for helping us.
Yes, you will be getting your Twitter account back.
The billions of dollars in judgments against you will be wiped.
Listen, we've evaluated your pushback as appropriate to...
And so we're restoring your account, Alex.
Welcome back to humanity.
You just have to find someone worse than you and treat them with, like, a kind of... It was so funny how frustrated Alex was that Kanye wouldn't take off his, like, gimp mask.
Of course!
I just wanted him to open the zippers over his eyes.
That would have been very funny if he just opened those zippers and suddenly he just had, like, Kanye's eyes floating in this weird outfit.
It would look like a reverse KKK hood, which is, uh...
Hey, I mean, that's kinda where we're at, dude.
Let's go.
Yeah, that's kinda where we're at.
That's kinda where Kanye's at.
He's doing a kind of- Oh, it's like the old- Yeah.
It's like that old Chappelle sketch of, like, the black-white supremacist.
That's right.
Mm-hmm.
Exactly.
Except, like, for real.
It's serious.
For real.
Not joking around.
And not just, like, some random guy- And having a clear- I mean, just beyond obvious, like, mental health and- Oh, yeah, of course.
Possibly drug crisis.
It's kind of like a much worse version of what was happening with Charlie Sheen, basically.
Remember how fucked up that was, that whole phase?
But Charlie Sheen!
I mean, Charlie Sheen looks... I can't even remember one thing Charlie Sheen said after this other than, like, tiger blood or whatever.
Kanye should get Charlie Sheen on his PR team.
He should hire him and any of the porn stars he's currently living with.
The last thing I'll say about it before we jump into the segment, and I'm sure it's relevant because I'm sure at this point Kanye believes that a race of reptilian aliens have infiltrated the world.
It's true, he hasn't talked much about the reptilians.
Kanye, let's give you another arrow for your quivers, as Jake's saying.
If you want to listen to this episode, you could make your Meltdown more reptilian themed, like we did with our tour.
Think about it.
I don't think Kanye is going to be listening to this.
He's also going to be the guest for our next tour.
Premium episode.
Which, in Jake's words backstage at one of the last few nights, was, it'll never happen again.
We are never doing this again.
That's why I'm so grateful to everybody who came out, got to meet you all.
We love you so much!
Never again.
It was horrible.
We almost died out there.
Yeah, every moment meeting you was pleasure.
Wonderful.
Intimate, even.
That was the best part for me.
That was the best part, meeting everybody, meeting a lot of our mods for the first time.
That was a fucking blast.
A lot of good stuff.
I poisoned a lot of people with food that I brought on purpose.
You did.
You poisoned.
It was poisoned with some kind of ancient Italian 1800s style poison.
I ordered White Castle at three in the morning.
Anyways, the last thing I will say about this Kanye stuff, before we can jump into the Reptilians, So I was getting, you know, my Spotify wrapped or whatever thing and one of the songs that I had listened to, you know, a lot before, you know, I wouldn't do it again, I wouldn't do it after this point, but was this song, New Again, which was off Donda, Kanye's like last album.
And the whole chorus of the song is like, Make me new again.
And he's just saying that over and over again.
And listening, because they play a little snippet on Spotify when it comes up.
It's like, these are the... When I listened to that, it felt like a fucking horror movie.
Like, based on what I had just witnessed him do, it was like, ooh, chilling.
It chilled me to the bone.
I feel like everyone now will be listening to Kanye different.
Obviously, you know, kind of talking about being a Kanye fan, not awesome anymore, that's for sure.
His next album is literally gonna be like, Hitler was right, and the album's gonna be a big swastika, and it'll be like, he's like, yeah, but so-and-so from Gucci designed the swastika.
I mean, at this point, where else can he go?
It's bad, and he needs help, and he's not getting it, and he's a fucking adult, and he is destroying his life and the lives of other people and making the country a worse place every day.
And welcome to our political class, Kanye.
You have joined the esteemed ranks of every other fucking politician.
In terms of just making everything worse every day.
So, I guess we should move on.
Yeah, thanks everybody who came out on tour.
You were really such sweeties.
All the different cities were so cool to visit.
Just to be able to see the faces, meet the people, it was just great.
A great experience for me.
And Travis, obviously, he's barely paying attention right now.
He has very few emotions related to this journey we went on, but I'll speak for him and say thank you.
Voice for the voiceless.
I think Travis has a lot to say.
Yeah, it was a really remarkably fun time.
I was able to, you know, meet a lot of people who enjoyed the podcast, which is, you know, great.
You know, a story I heard often over and over again was people who talked about how they had someone who was close to them, usually a family member, who was very, you know, pilled down the rabbit hole and sort of like, you know, based their entire sort of existence around these kinds of conspiracy theories.
And you talked about how You know, the podcast sort of helped you sort of understand their world and sort of able to sort of form a kind of like common ground or at least common understanding of at least what the hell they're trying to get at and why they're like this.
So that was that was really, really nice.
And I got to say, I would it's very, very it is unusual that so many people like what I do because I didn't really expect it.
But but I'm very grateful for it.
Alright, well said.
We're gonna need a fact check on that people like what Travis does.
So, but other than that, obviously I approve everything you said and it was correct.
In fact, it's your turn because we are about to jump into your segment about reptilians.
So this is actually kind of like, I guess, a modified version of what I presented on the tour, because what I was able to do for the tour that I have never been able to do for the podcast is add in sort of visual elements.
I have a few clips and some of them don't really translate to just being played entirely over audio.
But yeah, so I wanted to research Reptilians, and specifically this is the, uh, so conspiracists claim that the hidden rulers of our world are an alien race of shape-shifting lizard people.
So the story goes, in our natural form, these monstrous beings have human-like bodies covered in scales and snake-like heads.
However, they can transform their appearance so that they look fully human.
Using these abilities, they have wormed their way into the highest levels of power.
They walk amongst us and pull the strings of society unbeknownst to the sleeping, blue-pilled masses.
In many tellings of this tale, the Lizard People are actually aliens from a planet in the constellation Draco, or perhaps beings from another dimension entirely.
The most famous proponent of these theories is the British conspiracy theorist David Icke.
So, he is a man, I'm sure you're familiar with Icke, he's a man who started his career as a professional soccer player, but that was cut short due to arthritis, so he switched careers to journalism before finally finding worldwide fame as a conspiracist who mixes New Age beliefs with New World Order conspiracy theories.
According to Ike, an interdimensional race of reptilian beings, possibly the Anunnaki, have hijacked the Earth.
This evil shapeshifting race causes horrible events to happen so that they can't feed off the resulting negative energy.
He explained this theory in his film The Reptilian Agenda.
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