Premium Episode 188: Enter the Schneiderverse (Sample)
To Die For by John Schneider (Dukes of Hazzard, Smallville) is a hallucinatory experience: somewhere between art house masterpiece, conservative gripe-fest and fundraising drive for unpaid spousal support. We also take a moment to explore the actor / director / filmmaker's background and the reactions to his latest output. This episode led to a full melt down for us.
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Welcome, listener, to Premium Chapter 188 of the QAnon Anonymous podcast, the Schneider-Verse episode.
As always, we are your hosts, Jake Rogatansky, Julian Fields, and Travis View.
Being a conservative figure in the United States is tough these days.
Every morning, you've got to clock in at the complaining factory and put in hours of triggering the libs by posting online.
When after a long day of work you finally get into your decalfestooned car, you're forced to idle in the parking lot as you stream to Facebook Live.
And then, even once you get home, you're expected to pour yourself some whiskey and read all the Antifa comments under your posts, the majority of which are pictures of a turd on a pig's bloated testicles or elaborate memes about you being a boomer cuck.
Wash.
Rinse.
Repeat.
It's exhausting.
But some conservatives, much like Franz Kafka before them, are able to work a full-time job while also finding the time to be creative.
John Schneider is a perfect example.
A famous actor known for his roles in The Dukes of Hazzard and Smallville, he's a man who's never simply rested on his laurels.
From country music to independent cinema, John has tried his hand at many creative endeavors and built a body of work any auteur would be envious of.
The latest movie he wrote, directed, produced, and starred in is John Schneider's To Die For, an elegy to the lost art of being a flag-loving patriot.
It was released mere days ago, and a challenge was issued by the auteur himself.
As soon as I get there.
Oh, hey, hey folks.
Schneider here.
Yes, I am in glorious Nashville.
Smashville, Nashwood.
But listen, I wanted to let you know that, first of all, thank you for all of the wonderful compliments about To Die For.
It's very, very exciting.
A lot of certainly conservative new channels are jumping on it and wanting to talk about it.
But here's the real, here's how I figure it.
If you don't have any haters, you've heard me say this, if you don't have any opposition, then you're probably not much of a threat.
Well, this movie is getting a bunch of opposition from folks who haven't seen it.
Challenge accepted, John.
So this week on QAA, we're bringing you an exploration of both John, his movie, which we did watch, and the online comments of those who've watched it.
As such, prepare to enter the Schneiderverse.
John Schneider rose to fame by playing Bo Duke in TV show The Dukes of Hazzard, which ran from 1979 to 1985.
Bo was one of the two cousins who drove around the General Lee, a Dodge Charger emblazoned with a Confederate flag on its roof, and distilled moonshine in Hazzard County, Georgia.
The show was a huge commercial success, and people tuned in every week to see exactly how the Duke boys would outsmart the crooked county commissioner.
Schneider went on to have a successful run as both an actor and country singer.
He played Clark Kent's dad in Smallville from 2001 to 2006, and even continued scoring parts through the noughts on shows like Nip Tuck, CSI, Curb Your Enthusiasm, and Desperate Housewives.
In the 2010s, however, his roles seemed to dry up as he shifted mostly to Christian movies, Hallmark and Lifetime stuff, and films with titles like Flag of My Father, I Am Gabriel, American Justice, and Roe v. Wade.
That last one is, that's just a, that's just a court case though.
Yeah, it's some sort of a conservative movie about the court case and how like the guy is a naughty Jewish pervert.
The guy behind it.
By the way, these are the types of movies that get advertised on, like, AM radio.
Like, you always hear, uh, John Schneider's to die for.
And then it's like, I'm not gonna put down this flag.
And then you've got, like, Mark Levin, who's like, this is an incredible movie.
It's an incre- John Schneider is an amazing talent.
You should all go and see it this weekend.
Absolutely.
This is this is I guess what conservative filmmaking is.
You know, you just you just like take the ideology because that's all you're really going to get from it.
Yeah.
Some kind of ideological kick.
Yeah.
You know, there's a there's an old saying, you know, that the libs can't meme.
Well, that might be true.
But what's also true is that the conservatives cannot Make a movie to save their lives.
We're still waiting for it, folks.
The first good conservative movie.
Yeah, the first good one.
I have hope that Jim Caviezel's QAnon movie is gonna be... I guess The Passion of the Christ could count?
Yes, that's true.
Mel Gibson might be their only hope.
Mel Gibson, I think, is their only hope!
Oh my god, of course!
What a hope.
Of course, of course.
The guy who's on record talking about decapitating his ex-wife and like railing against a police officer who's arresting him for driving drunk, calling him a Jew.
Okay, let's see what you got.
Considered a heartthrob, Schneider was married to Tawny Elaine Godin, a Miss America winner, from 83 to 86.
He remarried in 1993 to Elvira Castle, but they divorced in 2014, which led to a dispute over unpaid spousal support.
The dispute has lasted until today, and back in 2018, Castle blamed Schneider's ongoing financial problems on him Squandering a large portion of his income via investment in his hobby of making low-budget, poorly produced films and television.
I fucking love this guy.
If you're gonna squander your money, that's the way to do it.
There we go, buddy.
This was in reference to John Schneider Studios, which he set up in Louisiana.
Now, in 2018, Schneider was sentenced to three days in L.A.
County Jail for not paying spousal support.
On his way to jail, he made a video for his followers encouraging them to buy his merch.
Upon arrival, he found that due to overcrowding, he only had to spend five hours before they released him from jail, after which he was right back to selling his wares, which include, of course, a Confederate flag t-shirt.
Oh.
Yeah.
In 2021, John Schneider Studios was hit hard by Hurricane Ida.
Now, obviously, I'm not cheering on natural disasters or human misery here, but the event did lead to a comical photo of the General Lee stunt car with a giant tree smashed through its Confederate flag roof.
Worry not, Schneider owns multiple models of the same stupid car to this day.
So, Yeah, to be clear, this guy was born in New York, okay?
Like, he's not... but he loves it, right?
He did grow up partially in Georgia.
Then of course he moved to California.
And then once he got like all his conservative pet peeves like stuff going, he went back
to Louisiana to set up the studio, which was a big mistake because Louisiana just keeps
getting hit by like, you know, there was flooding, I think that hit his shit and like the mid
aughts.
And then and he's clearly not going.
He's clearly not going through any official channels to get these movies made because
Louisiana does have good tax credits for filmmakers.
But he's not he's not doing any of that, I don't think.
I think he's doing it all all on the DL.
In a video about the disaster, Schneider once again told his followers to go buy merch from
This year, it was revealed that he still owed his ex-wife Elvira Castle $1.8 million in back support, and that a judge was seizing his royalties until the bill was paid off.
Now, this may explain why his funds were a little low when embarking on the creation of John Schneider's To Die For, the 2022 movie that he recently released through Vimeo.
Now, you know why he has to call it John Schneider's To Die For, right?
Yeah, it's a movie already.
There's a very, very popular movie with Nicole Kidman about a media, you know, this woman willing to do anything to be a newscaster.
Also called To Die For, very popular film.
I believe Nicole Kidman was nominated for an award for it, potentially, so unclear why he went with the same title.
A flag to die for.
He just loved it, and then he Googled it, and it still didn't change his mind.
And he went, okay.
It's mine, though.
Julian and Jake's QAnon Anonymous.
Yeah, that's what'll happen once Travis is fully exiled.
Here he is on Newsmax speaking to Chris Salcedo about what inspired him to make it.
We watch your character, man.
He goes from just kind of a laid-back guy who just loves his flag, a veteran, and then he gets put through the ringer by this woke society and getting his freedoms stolen.
What inspired you to make this film?
Chris, I read a story about a year ago about a gentleman who defied a restraining order that said he couldn't drive within 300 yards of a local high school with the American flag on the back of his truck.
But he did it anyway and he went to jail.
It was his way of sacrificing something for the flag that has given us freedom.
His way of saying thank you to all the people who have died defending it.
All the people who have been maimed defending it.
All of the families who have lost loved ones because they felt the flag was worth dying for.
I feel the flag is worth dying for.
So I sat down and I was inspired like never before to write this film and this, as you say, this crazy woke society, woke nonsense that we're going through right now, fueled so many great lines of dialogue.
Somebody asked me in here if I got the jab.
And I say, I wouldn't get that shot with Baldwin's arm.
So, you know, we go everywhere.
This is the saddest thing I have ever fucking seen.
This is, this is so sad.
It's so sad.
Salcedo laughing like a little goblin and rubbing his little hands together like, oh what a good one!
What a good one!
And the fact that he's like, what other, oh my god, can you imagine any other filmmaker on, you know, Jimmy Kimmel or whatever time they go, you know there's a line in the movie where he says this, and I say this right back.
Oh, that's a good one.
That's a really good one.
Oh man, I'm gonna go see the movie now.
Also, can we talk about the fact he's not put through the ringer by any means.
I mean, as we'll get into the movie, I mean, everything that happens to him is basically by his own design.
And also, in regards to the restraining order about the guy with the flag, I haven't looked too much into the case, but I imagine the restraining order is more because a person is driving by the high school at a certain time every single day, as opposed to the fact that they have a flag.
You can put a flag up in your yard.
Blasting music through your shitty truck.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Blasting music out of the thing.
I think it has more to do with... Stop bothering the high school.
Yeah, bothering the high school than it does about the flag.
And God, if there isn't a more perfect example of the imagined oppression of conservatives that lead them to actually put themselves in either perilous financial situations or even, you know, put their freedom at stake.
I mean, this is it.
I think it's very funny that the martyr in this movie is like a guy in his 60s who's no longer allowed near a high
school We're sorry, we just need you to not be doing this anymore
Schneider has been on Fox Business, OAN, and Newsmax promoting his movie.
And his sales pitch is that he's a scrappy independent operation standing up to the Hollywood sickos.
This film took 10 months to make with less than 10 people on the crew.
Now that is the definition of a shoestring budget.
Am I to assume woke Hollywood wouldn't touch this pro-American film with a 10-foot pole?
Oh my gosh!
My gosh, they wouldn't spend any money to develop it.
They certainly wouldn't film it.
They wouldn't distribute it.
But my wife and I are fiercely and unapologetically independent.
So we make our own content.
We also distribute our own content.
So when you watch this movie or any movie that we've made or listen to any of the music, we Right now, we are all in.
If this movie doesn't work, we lose everything.
You have been listening to a sample of a premium episode of QAnon Anonymous.
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