Ouija boards, ghost brothers, and strange recordings made in the middle of the night. Jake invites us to take a break from serious stuff to enjoy a nice digital campfire and hear some paranormal stories.
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Welcome, listener, to Premium Chapter 173 of the QAnon Anonymous podcast, the Haunted Reddit episode.
As always, we are your hosts, Julian Field, Jake Prokotansky, and Travis View.
Ever since the invention of the campfire 1.6 million years ago, a lot has changed.
For those of us brave enough to go outside, let alone spend the night out there, I imagine that ghost stories are still told to this day.
As a suburban kid, however, I remember passing around a flashlight at a sleepover, daring each other to say Bloody Mary five times into a dark mirror.
Oddly enough, This was preferable to having to wait in the basement alone as the rest of my peers paired off to make out in nearby closets.
I also remember my homemade Ouija board that blew the power out at a friend's sleepover, and the Ouija board unveil where my dead grandmother scolded me from beyond the grave, but that's a story for another time.
Maybe one day I'll do an episode on Ouija boards.
There's something comforting in the act of getting together as a group and trying to scare the living daylights out of one another.
Real or fake, if it was a good story, you had served your purpose as a campfire attendee.
But now, with the invention of the World Wide Web, the entire internet is the campfire.
And when we're not all gathered around it shouting about politics and who owned who and who's a hypocrite and whataboutisms, occasionally we'll gather around to read a really good ghost story.
Something frightening that we can't see with our own eyes, unlike the political stuff.
Today I have compiled some of the weirdest and most popular paranormal Reddit posts made within the last couple of years.
I do this in an effort to allow us all to remember that there still is a fun kind of scary that seeps out of the message boards.
And honestly, with everything else happening, I needed a fucking break.
I figured we all do.
And so, dear listeners, I submit to you, on behalf of the QAA Midnight Society, our very first episode of Haunted Reddit.
Before I get started, I do want to tell you that my first stop was rParanormal.
But when I hit return on the keyboard, I arrived at a subreddit with only one post.
Something was off.
I've screen grabbed it for you.
Julian, can you tell me what I stumbled upon?
Yeah, you stumbled upon paranormal.
And there's one post in the subreddit, and it reads, you spelled it wrong.
So, very important to open with Jake's typos.
So yeah, the first thing I did is I did a typo, I did a typo, and I got to this thing.
And it's so funny because one lone Redditor had showed up in this place to be like, you spelled it wrong.
Things would get much less funny from here on out.
The first story is posted by user Hermanator, and it was posted in Our Paranormal four years ago.
The title of the story?
My older brother told me where to find my missing TV remote last night.
He has been deceased since 2011.
Last week, my wife and I attended a wedding and had to have a sitter watch the kids overnight.
When we returned home, everything was fine, except that the remote for the living room had gone missing.
Usually, when this happens, it's stuck in no man's land under the couch, but I could not find it anywhere.
I actually gave up and ordered two more remotes off of eBay.
Problem solved, right?
So last night, right before I go up to bed, my son came out of his room and asked if he could sleep with his mom, so I told him yes and got the couch ready to sleep on.
While I was asleep, I had the first dream of my deceased brother since he passed in 2011.
In the dream, he was holding my remote in his hand and saying he was sorry for making me spend money.
He knows I don't like to waste on things I didn't need.
And that he would, quote, put the remote back where it usually is.
The first thing I did when I woke up this morning was to check the spot that he told me in the dream.
And it was there.
I had checked that spot at least once a day since it went missing.
Thanks, Jeff.
I'll return those new remotes as soon as they arrive.
Edit Guys, when I told my wife about the dream and showed her the remote, she started crying.
Between her and I, that spot on the couch was checked and rechecked at least 20 times.
I also told my sister about it and she was ecstatic because he would mess with both of us when we were kids by hiding things in really tough spots until he was sure that we had looked everywhere and then put it in an obvious spot when we weren't around.
This is like classic Jeff.
Edit.
Please stop asking me to make YouTube videos about this story.
I know this one is a little bit more heartwarming than scary, but I wanted to include it because it's so interesting to see a paranormal occurrence kind of coincide with a modern annoyance.
You know, losing the remote.
We all lose the remote in these little fucking thin things.
They slip between the couch cushions.
Somebody's sitting on them.
But here, you know, this guy was visited in a dream, you know, to be told exactly where, you know, exactly where it had been placed.
>>ANDREW: And claims that the thing was moved by that force also.
The same thing happened to me.
Uh, you know, or, uh, you know, I've had, you know, deceased family members visit me in dreams.
I have yet to see a story where somebody writes something and in the comments below somebody doesn't, you know, affirm it in some way.
On this story, however, I did include a couple choice comments.
Uh, this was, this one was by Cats Climb Stuffs and they write, I lost a pair of shoes once.
Couldn't find them for months.
Then had a dream 50 Cent told me where they were.
The right where, 50 said they'd be.
So, yeah.
Yeah.
What?
Uh-huh.
50 Cent isn't dead.
No.
Yeah, well, but yeah, but his spirit- But he still appeared in a dream.
His spirit visits you to let you know where your remote is once in a while.
You can travel like that.
Maybe they were G-Unit sneakers.
I had those.
Mouthful of vape saying G-unit sneakers.
Say it again, yeah.
Maybe they were G-unit sneakers.
I had a pair of those.
Oh, clean cut.
They ruled.
There's one more comment that I thought to include.
This is from a deleted account four years ago.
Julian, go ahead.
Usually when I lose my remote, I am usually just like, guess I'm masturbating to SportsCenter again.
This is Norm MacDonald asking his guests to read bad jokes.
This is good.
Speaking of Ouija boards, the second story is by user Lorlo.
It was posted six months ago and the title is, Why I Don't Play Ouija.
The story is 100% true and happened to me and my best friend during the summer of 2006.
This girl was my closest friend.
For the sake of her privacy, we'll call her Mandy.
Mandy and I spent all summer doing stupid things.
Building forts in the woods, exploring abandoned buildings, smoking weed on playgrounds, and hanging out at the skate park to check out the boys.
We were just bored 14 year old girls.
Both of us came from messed up homes.
My family dynamics were pretty abusive and while Mandy's parents were also not the greatest, they treated me like their second kid.
I was even allowed over when Mandy wasn't there.
Although it was nice to have a second home, Mandy's house always freaked me out.
There was something about it that always seemed dark and heavy.
Even the area outside the house seemed dense and foreboding.
It freaked her out too.
And we were both convinced that the house was haunted, despite no previous history indicating any reason it would be.
At that point, nothing bad ever happened to me at Mandy's house.
Mandy had a few stories about hearing bumps in the night or things falling off the shelves.
Even though she was my best friend, I felt like it was possible she jumped to conclusions.
Regardless, both of us always felt uncomfortable there.
So if we were not taking advantage of Comcast or her computer, we were usually out in the neighborhood being typical teens.
I can't recall how it happened.
I was getting into witchcraft, so that could have been the catalyst.
But at some point, we got this bright idea to start using Ouija boards.
Again, not sure how we concluded this, but we thought creating our own board would be, quote, safer than buying one.
Honestly, we just didn't have money, and I think we wanted a justified excuse for it being a good idea.
In the beginning, we made the Ouija board on a piece of printing paper.
We wrote the alphabet, numbers 0 through 10, and indications for yes, no, hello, and goodbye.
We popped out the lens of an old pair of glasses and traced it in the center of the paper.
Here's a brief explanation of how to play in case you're unfamiliar with Ouija boards.
You need at least two people.
You sit across from each other so the board is favoring one person and opposite someone else.
Each of you places your fingertips on the eye, the glasses lens in our case, and if a spirit is communicating, it will feel as if it's moving on its own, although your fingers need to lightly relax on the eye, barely touching it.
It's important to note that in order for the eye to move, you need at least your finger and your partner's finger to remain on the eye, touching it slightly.
Now, you might think that the other person you're playing with is moving the eye on their own account because that is the sensation you feel.
I can't speak for the early experiences I had with Mandy.
Maybe she did move the eye to fuck with me.
But after a couple times, it was pretty obvious neither of us were moving it.
I can't explain how we had this type of trust in each other.
I guess if you have a best friend, you would understand.
First few times we played Ouija, we were at random places that neighborhood legends deemed cursed or haunted.
Old jungle gyms, graveyards, you get it.
Most of the time it was just us giggling and freaking ourselves out.
But gradually, we started to have more conversations.
It was actually kind of cool because it really felt like the eye moved on its own.
Nothing major happened at first.
The lens would move extremely slow and it would take time to spell words.
The point was, things actually did happen, and after that, Mandy and I were totally addicted.
I like this Mandy girl.
She's playing a long game on her best friend, dude.
Yeah, she's playing a really long game.
She's trying to drive her crazy.
I love it.
So one day, while sitting at her house, switching back and forth on her computer to check out Myspace and Quizilla, we discussed ways to upgrade the board, and I suggested we make a new board.
Out of a mirror.
We both knew this was a risky idea, as mirrors are a controversial item in witchcraft.
They are portals, much like ouija boards and tarot cards.
As such, a mirror theoretically amplifies whatever we might be calling out to.
I remember looking at Mandy while her blue eyes got wide and she got this shit-eating grin on her face.
She pulled an old jewelry box out of her dresser and opened it.
Inside was a rectangular mirror pasted to the roof of the box.
We ripped it out pretty easily.
And used a Sharpie marker to write the usual Ouija script.
The mirror was too small for a glasses lens, but by then we opted out of using the lens and started using an oversized mood ring that didn't fit either of us.
In previous experiences, we found the mood ring especially cool because it always turned black when we played Ouija with it.
I don't know if this holds any paranormal significance, but we thought it was cool.
I remember as we constructed the board, Mandy suggested we use it in her house since we were already there.
The hair stood up on the back of my neck when I looked at her, and she looked at me solemnly.
We had never played Ouija in her house at that point.
While we were convinced the house was haunted, Mandy's house scared us.
Ouija did it.
It might have rattled us or freaked us out, but we never got seriously scared.
But, as I said before, something about her house always made both of us very nervous.
So of course my 14-year-old mind viewed fear and excitement in the same light.
After all, it was the middle of the day and I guess we were feeling brave.
I grinned at her.
She smirked back at me.
In that moment we came to an agreement that could have only been made between the eyes of two best friends.
We traced the ring in the center of the mirror and placed it on the hardwood floor in her room.
Very lightly, I placed one fingertip on one side of the ring.
Mandy did the same on her side.
Usually when we played, I would start by asking, is anyone there?
And if it moved, usually to either yes or hello, Mandy would follow up with saying, what's your name?
And we would alternate questions like that.
Just when Mandy placed her finger on the ring, I barely inhaled, filling my lungs with the usual question, when the ring smoothly glided to hello before either of us said a word.
Mandy and I looked up at each other, exchanging the mutual thought of, that's never happened before.
Mandy opens her mouth to ask her usual question, but immediately, the ring starts scanning across the alphabet in a circular motion.
Mandy and I had this happen in the past.
We found that this action seemed to be the spirit exploring the board by gliding through all of the letters and numbers before spelling anything.
The difference between this and the previous games is, in the past, it would take a pretty long time for the eye to inch slowly and jaggedly through the board.
The first time it happened, it was cool.
After that, it was boring.
This time, however, the movement was smooth and strong, as if there was a mechanism under the board that was moving the mood ring with a fluent, constant force.
It was anything but boring.
Honestly, we were so shocked with how quickly a spirit tuned in and how strong the connection was that I think we both totally blanked out on what to say or ask.
The ring began to scan across the board faster, not spelling anything, until Mandy finally asked, Who are you?
The ring stopped moving for a moment.
And suddenly, with absolute direction and precision, spelled out.
Who are you?
I am Mandy and this is my friend Laura.
What's your- It begins spelling out a phrase without Mandy finishing her question.
Ugly girls.
Again, Mandy and me exchanged the same expression, a cross between insulted and disturbed.
We didn't have time to register how we felt about the remark, since the ring continued to spell.
First it spelled out Mandy's name, then mine, then the word ugly.
It repeated this process again and again.
It probably spelled out the phrase at least ten times.
Each round, it went faster and faster, jerking the ring so quick from letter to letter that it would fly out from under our ice-cold fingertips.
Just as quickly as it had spelled out, It shifted to a new phrase without any break or pause.
It said, And it proceeded to repeat this several times, over and over again.
Mandy and I were too petrified to say anything to it directly, but Mandy whimpers to me softly.
Laura?
Hmm?
I ask, still hypnotized by each letter as it halts in the center of the ring only long enough for us to see it.
You're not fucking with me, right?
At the very same moment I answer no, the ring snapped to the word.
No.
This freaked me out so bad I had to pull my hand from the board.
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