Our Reptilian DNA affects how we digest pork. You don't have to pay taxes. The war in Ukraine is fake. Codemonkey will deliver us from the 2020 presidential election results. Tom Hanks and Bill Gates are cousins and worked together to kill Jeffrey Epstein. This week we dive into another chapter of listener-submitted stories, and folks, the claims made by their coworkers, loved ones and friends are simply... out there.
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Welcome, listener, to Premium Chapter 164 of the QAnon Anonymous Podcast, the Listener Stories, Volume 7 episode.
As always, we are your hosts, Jake Rakitansky, Julian Field, and Travis View.
Hey, everyone.
It's your friendly QAA Mail Guy here to, once again, share some stories from our beloved listeners about how QAnon is still affecting both their past and present.
I'd asked folks to tell us their experiences with pilled friends, families, and co-workers more than a year out from the January 6th insurrection.
With COVID numbers falling and more and more states easing their preventative measures, I thought maybe, just maybe, a handful of you would write in with inspiring success stories.
Your aunt really turned it around and got back into Xenowarrior Princess.
Your co-worker had stopped casually using racial slurs.
Unfortunately, it is clear I am far too optimistic, and it might be better to just hire the effects company who did the Tupac hologram at Coachella to create a Storm hologram so that your co-worker will stop trying to convince you that the only reason our stomachs can process pork is because of our reptile DNA.
Man, it's so sad.
You're just standing with your hands out going, could I maybe have a nice meal?
A nice healthy meal for once?
And people are just throwing cold fried goods at you.
They're just bouncing off your head, just fucking onion rings leaving Grease stains on your scalp from being pelted with them.
Hey, here pig!
Uh, here pig!
An apple!
Anything!
Anything!
Nutrition!
A piece of fruit!
Not!
Not the same thing!
Not again!
Some clean water!
Not the seventh time!
No, instead they're coming out with bags from Dylan's Candy Shop just filled with twisty worms and sour colas.
But everything is melted and then reassembled again?
Like, everything is bricked.
For this week's episode, I collected new stories.
Thank you for sending them in on short notice, by the way.
But I also dove deep into the QAA inbox archives and pulled some stories that had been submitted for past episodes but had yet to be read.
The result is a grab bag of your first-hand accounts that stretch from January 6, 2021 all the way up until today.
No more football.
I'd been working with an electronics distributor based in Macon, Georgia for five years.
After falling out with my boss, I put in my two weeks notice.
In an effort to keep my knowledge within the company, the higher-ups offered for me to transfer to a different branch rather than leave altogether.
I'd wanted to leave Middle Georgia all my life, so the offer was enticing.
I wanted to get out of the South.
So I picked the furthest branch north that this company had.
Walhalla, South Carolina.
I moved to Walhalla, South Carolina in October of 2018.
It's a small town in the mountains of South Carolina, about 20 minutes away from Clemson University.
It's also where the Vikings go if they fight well.
I did not know about that.
I think that's Valhalla.
I think maybe you're confusing the V and the W, probably because you're German.
Everyone there was welcoming and nice.
For a year and a half, I was happy enough in this quiet little town.
During that year and a half, there were a couple of things that stick out now, but at the time, seemed mostly harmless.
One guy joked about how the Earth was flat, and that the windows on airplanes are just TV screens where they play a fake video of you flying, when you're really just sitting still while they reorganize the world around your plane.
That's amazing.
I thought that was amazing.
Yeah, everything is Star Tours.
Yeah, that's what got your story in, by the way.
Anonymous, right?
Whoever wrote this.
I don't know if they signed it.
That's what did it.
Don't tell them that if they find something funny, they're gonna get it in, okay?
Okay.
We can't encourage these people.
But that was the moment when I was like, oh, I've never heard that conspiracy before.
They reorganized the plane around- That's amazing.
They reorganized the world around you while you sit in like a Star Tours?
There's actually only one plane.
It's like a single ride.
And everyone shows up at the airport, gets funneled there.
At least, I thought it was a joke at the time.
A few times I heard people use the n-word, but we were in the mountains in a very conservative area, so it wasn't very surprising.
The one thing that really sticks out in my memory was when The New Kid, a 22-year-old ex-Marine, asked me if I knew anything about 4chan.
He said he had, quote, read some interesting stuff on there.
Now, I was a 4chan lurker back in the late aughts, so I was knowledgeable enough to tell him that he probably shouldn't believe anything he reads on there.
Quote, it's mostly just people trolling and trying to mess with each other, I told him.
Now I know better than ever what interesting stuff he was reading.
When the pandemic hit, the friendly folks that I had been working with became unsurprisingly upset.
It's a hoax.
This will be over by the end of April.
Masks are actually making people sick.
I heard it all.
The final nail that pilled the entire office was Clemson football being shut down.
Without Clemson Games to talk about, I watched as what used to be mindless sports talk was slowly replaced with conspiracy theories.
It started off with the old hits about 9-11 and the moon landing, pushed back a little at the time, but honestly, I go to work to work, not try and convince someone else that something they believe is wrong.
I slowly started staying in my office more and more, and I started to avoid speaking to anyone.
Oh no.
It was after the BLM protest broke out, and I heard one of my co-workers adamantly stating that what happened to Ahmaud Arbery was justified that I spoke to my boss.
I told him that it was probably time for me to start looking for a new job.
I told him that I wasn't comfortable with the political discussions being held around the office, and when I mentioned that I was offended I had heard co-workers using the n-word, I was given a speech about how my boss wouldn't be offended to be called a cracker, and that, and he said the word, is just as offensive as cracker is.
Okay.
This man's granddaughter is half black.
I began looking for another job at that point.
Early in the pandemic, jobs weren't as readily available as they are now, so I was left looking for a while.
It was during this time that I came in early to do an inventory audit and noticed that the new kid had changed his desktop background to a picture of a capital letter Q with an American flag.
At the time, I was only tangentially aware of QAnon because of the Roseanne news story, but I knew enough to know that these guys were even deeper than I had thought.
I was still looking for a job and avoided talking to anyone at the office.
I came in, did my duties, and otherwise kept to myself.
By the way, the joke's on this person because we hired your co-workers to push you towards this podcast.
And now, look at you.
No, this sounds like a fucking nightmare.
I mean, work sucks already.
So funny.
Work is already, like, not that, it's not great.
Locked in the office hoping you won't hear the N-word.
Yeah.
Watching slowly as all of your coworkers like computer desktops like change to like you know gallows and like queues and flags and I don't know.
It's always good too when it's an ex-marine you know.
Because I was no longer being social, my boss decided that I must no longer be doing my job.
He suspended me for an entire week without pay based on a trumped up chart that I was on my phone too much.
Amazing.
The irony!
The irony here!
That this person was suspended because they were being too online.
Robert, are you okay?
You haven't said the n-word all day.
I notice you still have a, looks like a, I don't know, some sort of beach landscape on your windows.
You know, we sent out those PNGs last week.
There were quite a few to choose from, including Hillary chasing Trump with two babies in his hands.
Don't you like flair, Robert?
I notice that you still have kept your Michael Flynn life-size cutout in the closet.
Yeah, I'm gonna need you to change your background to Q.
Did you get the memo?
The following day, I was performing a drug test for a new company.
And a week later, I quietly went into the building and removed all of my belongings.
And my clothes.
And I set myself aflame with gas.
I filed a complaint with the company where I detailed the route that this particular branch was headed down, and I put in my letter of resignation.
Spent October of 2018 listening to Q Clearance and every QAA episode.
I will not let myself be caught off guard by far-right extremist rhetoric again.
Thank you for the podcast.
Ian.
Good luck finding a job in the South.
That's like a... Just kidding.
We love... Thank you for sharing that awful, that terrible story.
I mean, I'm really glad you ended up finding a new job.
Yeah, and we love you Southerners.
We're not trying to... Yeah, we love all our Southerners.
It's just, you guys have more, you know... The difficulty is 1.5.
You're one-handing down there.
You're not two-handing.
And you don't have the jumping attack talisman equipped.
Are they one-handing because they're jacking off?
No.
Sovereign Coworker.
I travel for work, so I get to meet a lot of interesting people out there.
I just started a job yesterday, and off the bat, I could tell by his comments that one of my co-workers was kind of pilled.
He was saying he doesn't need the vaccine, his body will keep him safe.
I also got the slightest hint of sovereign citizen from him.
So let's jump to today.
We somehow got talking about pork and he's telling me how there is a parasite in pork that won't activate till it hits the enzymes of a human stomach because our DNA is half human and half reptile.
I'm trying to keep a straight face but this older guy we're working with looks really confused by it.
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