The redpilled driving school from hell. Working on the set of anti-abortion film UNPLANNED. Manosphere uncles and their manosphere wives. Family members falling into the QAnon abyss. Hairdressers relapsing and getting pilled to the gills. A harrowing, funny and strange set of stories from our beloved listeners.
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Welcome, listener, to the 92nd Premium Chapter of the QAnon Anonymous Podcast.
Listener Stories, Volume 3.
As always, we are your hosts, Julian Field.
Jake Rakitansky.
And Julian Field.
Oh, fuck.
I literally forgot my own name, it's so fucking hot.
I'm Travis View, I'm pretty sure.
It is 107 degrees in the QAnon box.
I got Travis to get so hot he thought he was me.
I'm gonna record this episode while I'm disassociated.
He's just fading away.
But seriously, thanks to everybody who submitted stuff.
I read each and every one of the stories that you submitted, and you guys are all terrific writers and storytellers.
I really wish I could have included everything.
Sounds like you're kind of just trying to say everybody won, but you had to select some stories, huh?
I did have to.
He doesn't want to be a bad friend.
He's your friend.
He knows you personally.
Dude, some of the writing was really good.
Good.
I couldn't have stories on the podcast that were better than my own.
That's right.
You can't dethrone Jake.
But anyways, without further ado, let's jump into it.
This is a really interesting collection.
Volume 3 is always kind of the weird, trippy one, and this episode is no different, so let's get right into it, yeah?
I started a little late getting my driver's license.
But it was fine, my parents had signed me up for driving school.
I had already taken the test, so all I needed was driving instruction.
The first drive, it went fine.
There are supposed to be two kids in the car, each gets a chance to drive for half an hour.
But that time, the other kid was a no-show, so I got a full hour of driving.
I hoped I'd get this teacher again, I really liked him.
The next drive session was with a new guy.
He had this weird vibe, very gym teacher-like.
In my first ride, I'd had some small talk with my instructor, but this new teacher kept talking.
The other kid with me kept quiet while I drove, so I was left just having to listen and nod to this guy.
One of the first things he brought up was how his wife had tragically passed away a few years before, but he had a new wife now.
It was strange that this was his first topic to bring up when talking to a 17-year-old, but whatever.
Oh my god.
I know exactly this type of guy, too.
I can almost imagine him as I'm reading this.
I mean, yeah, I've had some weird driving instructors when I was like 16.
One of them was a Vietnam veteran.
So, yeah, I think there's something about pilled driving instructors.
Driving.
I think just driving in general.
Yeah, driving is really pilled.
I had a bus driver who very much sounds like this kind of character.
After telling me I made a wrong turn, he asked me about my school.
Trying to be honest, I answered that I was already in college and majoring in political science.
I didn't realize that this was going to impact the rest of the conversations, but he immediately asked me whether I was a Republican or Democrat.
At that point, I was smart enough to lie.
The rest of my drive time was kept by him talking about his opinions on various political topics.
He's pro-Confederate statue, anti-abortion, and has personally seen videos of Nancy Pelosi saying she planned to take away everyone's guns.
Then he talked about why he moved to Dallas.
Apparently he and his late wife had moved here to personally investigate the Kennedy assassination.
Which they knew was a CIA plot because they were very close friends with Lee Harvey Oswald's wife.
My drive time was up.
And I felt grateful to be out of the hot seat.
Oh.
The other guy stayed mostly quiet, but began to ask the instructor more about his life,
steering the topic away from politics.
The instructor claimed he used to be big in the music industry back in the 80s, and then
started claiming he was forced out of the industry because all of his songs were stolen
by Prince.
Oh.
Cool.
Classic case.
On our way back to the driving school, he brought up that he and his new wife still
made music.
So in this car, owned by the driving school, he pulled out a CD binder that must have been in the car already and played a CD of his own songs.
For the rest of the drive, me and the other kids sat in silence listening to this man's bad homemade songs.
Before I could leave, the man pulled me aside to say I was one of the worst drivers he had ever seen and that he regretted allowing me onto the highway.
That's a QA listener.
For Session 3, I requested a new instructor.
Because the first session was only driving, this one was only watching from the back seat.
There were two other students in the car with me as well.
This teacher was also extremely talkative.
He tried to give us life advice and engages in philosophical issues, stuff about the order of the universe and how because all things trended towards chaos, the Big Bang couldn't create order, only God could.
Then he started talking about the media.
Was this like the red pill driving school where they try a different thing every time?
Come, take your test, get pilled.
Bring your children here.
In this lesson, you're both going to learn how to use your blinkers and that dinosaurs were made up.
And then it takes a little bit more of a familiar turn.
Then he started talking about the media.
Quote, You know that all the news stations are owned by three families now.
There used to be more, but these families kept killing off the competition and absorbing other brands.
Now do you know what these three families have in common?
No!
Uh, they're Jewish?
The kid also in the back said in a voice that made clear to me that he was tired of the instructor's ramblings.
Exactly!
The instructor pointed at him and gave him a big grin.
That's right, my man!
That's right, my man!
They're all Jews!
I zoned out for the rest of the ride.
I told my mom these stories and she filed a complaint with the school.
The man she gave the complaint to said, quote, I never went back for my other lessons and I still don't have my driver's license.
I never went back for my other lessons and I still don't have my driver's license.
Signed, Mamie.
Wow, thank you for sending that in Mamie.
Incredible stuff.
That school has... But I mean, let's... I mean, is this not the worst situation possible?
You are trapped in a vehicle with this man, who is also supposed to kind of be your guardian so that you don't fuck something up with, you know, as a new time driver.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's not like at a party where you can say, I gotta go to the bathroom or something to break away from the conversation.
Or that guy's like an Andy Kaufman-esque comedic genius who knows he can invent characters every time he steps into a car with a new person.
And he does a million different acts.
You're probably being videotaped and you're on YouTube.
You're huge, actually.
Today, I'll just be Anti-Sepite Man.
Yeah, Mamie, you're listed as a person reacting in shock 2 on the new YouTube Punk series.
Damn YouTube!
The following story took place July 25th, 2020.
It is month 5 of the pandemic.
The lady on the TV tells me to call my loved ones.
Quote, they might be lonely after months of lockdown.
Listening to what the lady on TV says is not something I would typically do, but admittedly, the quarantine had weakened my resolve.
I called my mother.
The talk is pleasant at first, until she mentions the pandemic.
She tells me the virus is fake and created by China.
You might ask, how can it be fake if it was created?
I couldn't get an answer to that.
Eventually, she tells me she found something amazing called Q. The realization that my mother had been pilled sends me straight to hell.
Immediately, my brain rushed with the hundreds of hours of QAnon Anonymous podcast information I had soaked up since the podcast's inception.
Not knowing where to even start, I ask where she found QAnon, and to my surprise, she has no idea what 8chan is and reads QDrops off of a Facebook account.
Oh, this is the worst.
I mean, when they're downstream pilled like this.
Yeah, there is only downstream now.
And all the shit, all the turds of the fish carried downstream as well.
My mother had driven with me to a Bernie Sanders rally in February!
Nooooo!
And now she is telling me about how Donald Trump is going to unseal hundreds of thousands of indictments and announce to the world, quote, the storm is upon us, or whatever.
The conversation ended with her telling me that I should look out for chemtrails and that, quote, you can tell when they are chemtrails because they are always higher up and stick around in the sky longer.
I asked her if she knew what atmospheric density is.
I didn't get an answer to that, but was told to do more research and to not believe anything, I am told.
Unless it's told to you by the specific person on Facebook I met two months ago.
Since then, I have tried depilling her to no avail.
I am losing my mother to this crap.
Damn you, Q. Oh!
From Alec.
Alec, thank you so much for writing that in.
Yeah, this is something that, I mean, I hear a lot, and it's just, I wish I had a good answer for you, because it is very, very difficult.
But I'm shocked, again, at the speed of the transformation.
Yeah.
February to... How much the pandemic did, basically.
I mean... I'm glad that she has you, honestly, because a lot of these people who fall into the stuff they have, nobody gives a shit about them, honestly.
And those people are really, really stuck.
I mean, the fact that you care, that you recognize what has happened to her, means that she has a better chance than a lot of other people.
The God Frequency.
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