Premium Episode 86: Taking The Edpill with Annie Kelly (Sample)
King Edward II of England, his handsome male lovers, their gruesome fates, and the mystery surrounding his supposed death in 1327.
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Edward I exiled Pyrrhus because his son Edward of Carnarvon had asked him for permission to grant his country of Pointeux to his friend.
It's also likely that Edward I was concerned about the nature of the relationship between his son and Pyrrhus, and that Pyrrhus had far too much influence over the young Prince of Wales, and he was entirely right to be concerned, as Edward demonstrated over the next few years.
Oh yeah, Edward is just getting started.
Edward is just getting started, but I can already believe that the family would need to get rid of this.
This, this is like a messy thing that the family has to start addressing and the whispers are happening in the royal courts of various countries.
Great stuff.
It is.
It's so, yeah, it's so juicy.
I love it.
It is.
This is like tabloids.
This is great.
I mean, just the focus on the sexuality and just, yes.
On the elder Edward's death, only a few months later, the new King Edward immediately recalled his friend.
According to Warner, it was almost certainly the first act he took as king and made him Earl of Cornwall.
Which, to me, comes across as deeply romantic.
But if you were a medieval English nobleman, you were probably a little bit resentful that the king hadn't been in power for five minutes and was already dishing out goodies to his boyfriend.
Oh, spare me the pearl clutching.
Like the Kings didn't do this with the women that they were having sex with.
Come on!
I know, just let him fuck.
Exactly.
Of course he's good!
Listen, obviously the person you have sex with you're probably going to do corrupt stuff for.
That's just how life is.
Now, from what little I know of English history, it's the general rule that being the king's favourite is very much a double-edged sword.
Sure, you had the protection of the most powerful men in the country, but that probably didn't feel quite as comforting when the second, third, fourth, fifth, and sixth most powerful men in the country all hated your guts and wanted you gone.
According to the British historian Seymour Phillips, Piers Gaveston's arrogant behavior, his relations to the
king, and his supposed influence over the government of the kingdom were such lively issues that the
author of the Vita Eduardi Secundi, a chronicle of Edward's life written by a contemporary,
remarked of Gaveston, quote, what an astonishing thing. He who was lately in
exile and outcast from England has now been made a governor and keeper of the same land.
Another chronicler wrote that there were, were quote, two kings reigning in one kingdom,
one in name and the other in deed.
While the Veda spoke of Gavston as a second king, the chroniclers were uniformly hostile and, like today's tabloids, fed on any gossip about Gavston that was going and when in doubt exaggerated or made it up.
Gavston was accused of having pillaged the royal treasury with the active connivance of the king and of sending vast sums of money to his native Gascony with the connivance of foreign merchants.
This is a lot of do about nothing, I think.
Leave Edward alone.
Leave Edward alone.
They're gonna kill him.
They're gonna kill him, aren't they?
They're gonna kill him.
They're gonna kill both of them.
They're gonna kill him.
He's having too much fun.
Meanwhile, Edward II had got himself married.
His bride, Isabella of France, was an incredibly smart match given she was the only daughter of King Philip IV of France, with whom Edward's father had had a long rivalry with over land in France.
The marriage essentially allowed these disputed territories to belong to a joint descendant of the two royal dynasties.
As I've said, I'm not a medieval historian, but I am the girlfriend of a man who plays a lot of Crusader Kings 2.
Allowing me to identify this marriage as a real pro-gamer move.
France, which had caused Edward's father so much trouble during his reign, was fully settled.
Or so he thought.
When Edward brought his new bride back to England, they were crowned together.
Now there's something weird going on with this coronation when it comes to the records.
As far as I can tell, something went down which made everyone angry, including Ed's new French relatives.
But nearly every source I read says it's a different thing.
Some people say the ceremony was poorly organised, or delayed, or the food was bad, which in medieval England I just can't believe.
Some say people were pissed off about the details of Edward's coronation oath.
There's some chroniclers that say Edward ignored Isabella for Gaveston all night,
which, given the fact that she was 12 years old at the time, hardly seems damning from a modern
Whatever the reason, though, we can conclude it was a huge diplomatic fuck-up for both the English noblemen and the French royals in attendance.
This is incredible because this is a faux pas where basically they're like, he didn't touch the child enough.
We just don't, it's not...
I'm sorry.
Yeah it's just like reading it from like a modern perspective you're like I'm just not going to think this guy is a bad guy for being more interested in his adult boyfriend.
Yeah so far I've got nothing against this guy.
He's a literal child bride.
That's right.
The barons who resented Edward now had a powerful ally in Philip IV of France and Edward's noblemen supporters were both outnumbered and outfunded.
The barons gathered in Westminster Abbey right next to Edward's Westminster Palace and presented the king with a proposition get rid of Gaveston or go to war.
They do this with a classic bit of medieval legalistic weasel words by saying that though they've sworn an oath of allegiance it's actually more to the crown in general and not so much the king himself.
The oath is more in respect of the crown than in respect of the king's person.
And therefore, if it should be thought that the king is not guided by reason, then in order that the dignity of the crown may be preserved, the legions are bound by the oath made to the crown to reinstate the king in the dignity of the crown.
That was wonderful, I felt like I was transported back there.
Me too.
So this is a bit of a warning shot, pretty much saying, be careful, you might be the king, but we can always find a new one.
The next article goes into a bit more what they want him to do specifically to keep his throne.
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