Episode 89: UKIP 6 SIEGE (Crossover w/ the Trashfuture Podcast)
They're blackmailing each other and punching horses. The euroskeptic movement and its central party, UKIP, has continued to shamble forward as it falls apart in the most bizarre and pathetic ways possible. We're joined by Trashfuture's Riley Quinn, Alice Caldwell-Kelly, Milo Edwards, & Hussein Kesvani. In the other corner, submitted to our cold scrutiny, stands quite a menagerie: Tommy Robinson. Nigel Farrage. Paul Joseph Watson. Count Dankula. Sargon of Akkad. Dick Braine. All somehow connected through the UKIP party. This episode also includes a Jake story (UKIP 6 SIEGE) which adds Hussein Kesvani to the lot. WOT A BANGER.
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Welcome, listener, to the 89th chapter of the QAnon Anonymous podcast, a crossover with the Trash Future podcast.
This is the United Kingdom Independent Party episode.
As always, we are your hosts, Jake Rokitansky, Riley Quinn, Milo Edwards, Our friends over at Trashfuture have happened upon some history, a little bit of a background on this awful party that is the UKIP party, a far-right party filled with conspiracy loons involving people like Paul Joseph Watson, Count
Dancula and even Sargon of Akkad.
What brings all these weirdos together and how the hell are they a political force at all in the UK?
A lot of this is going to be answered by our friends over at Trashfuture.
And so this is a very special UK episode.
And for dessert, you're going to have a Jake story involving everybody.
First up, I have the Twitter account for Dylan Wheeler, aka Education4Libs, has been suspended.
It looks like this is a permanent suspension, at least he claims so.
No!
On his Instagram.
Let's party!
No!
Say it isn't so!
Yeah, our beautiful boy.
I mean, he had a half a million followers when his account was suspended.
You know, it's not, they didn't give a reason why apparently, but Dylan Wheeler was pushing a lot of anti-vax stuff in recent days.
It seems like Twitter has been cracking down really, really hard on medical misinformation recently, you know, for obvious reasons.
But oh man, R.I.P.
I mean, Dylan, you know, pulling one out for a real one.
Yeah, he was on the Q train early.
So this also comes in like in the wake of like the suspension for like Joe M aka Storm is Upon Us.
So it's been it's been a brutal, brutal month or so for the most prominent supporters of QAnon.
Yeah, hopefully if they're doing some sorting through maybe just like actually pay attention to our account and realize that we're not like them and maybe just give us back the ability to like reach people and maybe even a verification would be nice seeing as we're nearing 30,000.
How many checkmarks do we need to have on the show to have a checkmark of our own, Twitter?
Or are checkmarks just cookies you gave to somebody back in the day that no one else gets?
You know what would be fucking awesome, actually?
This is, just so Travis doesn't have a heart attack, this is definitely not what's happening.
I repeat, this is not a reality.
What would be funny is if QAnon was real and it was about to reveal itself and basically it was going and punting off all of the grifters that we're making.
Wouldn't it be amazing if Q ended up being real but completely disassociated from anyone that was making money or using him?
Right.
QAnon is real, but everyone who believed in QAnon got it wrong.
So this is just a situation that's just horrible for everyone involved.
Yeah, that's all I want, Travis.
You know me.
Just a situation that's horrible for everyone.
For my next story, QAnon bleach drinkers celebrate as the president floats injecting disinfectant as a coronavirus cure.
So, frequently, people who are interested in national politics go through this degrading exercise called, what the fuck is the president talking about?
It's degrading for journalists who have to report on the content of Trump's off-the-cuff riffs.
It's degrading for the bootlickers who write for pro-Trump publications like Breitbart who have to write articles defending what Trump said.
It's degrading for Trump's own staff.
And it's degrading precisely because President Trump feels no obligation to speak carefully or coherently, but the rest of us feel an obligation to make sense of what he says.
He essentially makes a mess with his rambling words over and over again because he knows That someone else is going to clean it up for him.
And he's right, which is perhaps the most degrading part of it all.
So, the mess that Trump most recently made came during a press conference on April 23rd.
During that conference, Trump referenced a recent Homeland Security study which found that the coronavirus on surfaces may be killed by humidity and high exposure to UV rays through sunlight.
This has indicated that the outbreak may subside in the coming summer months.
Trump then recounted a conversation he had with Coronavirus Task Force Coordinator Dr. Debra Briggs.
And during that conversation, he apparently suggested that maybe UV light could be a viable treatment for the disease.
Supposing we hit the body with a tremendous, whether it's ultraviolet or just very powerful light.
And I think you said that hasn't been checked, but you're going to test it.
And then I said, supposing you brought the light inside the body, which you can do either through the skin or in some other way.
And I think you said you're going to test that too.
Sounds interesting.
Right.
And then I see the disinfectant where it knocks it out in a minute, one minute.
And is there a way we can do something like that?
by injection inside or or almost a cleaning because you see it gets on the lungs and it does a tremendous number of the lungs so it'd be interesting to check that so that you're gonna have to use medical doctors with but it sounds it sounds interesting to me so we'll see but the whole concept of the light the way it kills it in one minute That's pretty powerful.
Well, you know what?
I doubt that there is a more fitting conclusion to the British Empire than this man, actually.
You despair, but I don't think this is out of the ordinary or out of order.
This is really what we worked for, you know?
And she can clutch her pearls all she wants about how he got her shit wrong.
The truth is, she's part of an entire empire that has been building to this moment, and we're all guilty.
The other element of it is that Trump actually just never cares what his advisors say if he's not interested.
For example, famously when he called Vladimir Putin after the election there, he was instructed in his briefing said, do not congratulate.
Big, bold letters.
And he did it anyway because he just doesn't give a fuck.
He does what he wants.
Trump's mention of disinfectant was apparently very exciting for people who promote the Diluted Bleach Miracle Mineral Solution or MMS as a cure-all.
So we talk more about Miracle Mineral Solution, which is really just the bleach chlorine dioxide in episode 77 of the podcast.
For example, one person enthused about Trump's remarks was Mark Grennan, who founded the Genesis 2 Church of Health and Healing.
So this is a church dedicated to encouraging people to drink bleach as a cure-all, basically.
Yeah.
Mark Brennan wrote this on the Facebook page just hours after Trump mentioned the Trump has got the MMS and all of the info.
Things are happening, folks.
Lord, help others to see the truth.
Reporter Ed Pilkington for The Guardian found out actually that just a few days before Trump made his remarks, Mark Rennan wrote to Trump with the false claim that MMS can, quote, rid the body of COVID-19, though it's not known if the letter influenced Trump's remarks or if Trump was even aware of it.
So at the top of this part, I said that Trump was the logical conclusion to the empire, but this couldn't be more beautiful.
Jim Humble literally went abroad to evangelize in Africa and fed Africans bleach, the definition of horrifying colonialism.
And then he literally came back home and sold it here.
Ah, the chickens, they have come back to roost, my friend.
And I finally reveal that I am European.
I have one more item, and it's related news.
Justice Department issues a temporary injunction to halt the sale of Miracle Mineral Solution online.
So, a few days before that press conference, Trump's own Justice Department cracked down on the online sale of industrial bleach as a miracle cure.
So, the complaint specifically targets Mark Grenin and his Genesis 2 Church of Health and Healing.
The complaint from the DOJ alleges that the defendant's disease-related treatment claims are unsupported by any well-controlled clinical studies or other credible scientific substantiation.
Which is true.
So, additionally, the complaint asserts that MMS's labeling is false and misleading and that since defendants make disease-related treatment claims about MMS in the absence of any clinical data, the products are misbranded.
FDA Commissioner Stephen M. Hahn said this in a press release.
Despite a previous warning, the Genesis 2 Church of Healing has continued to actively place consumers at risk by peddling potentially dangerous and unapproved chlorine dioxide products.
QAnon promoter and bleach-drinking advocate Jordan Sather framed this as a battle between the FDA and President Trump.
Last week, the FDA filed injunctions against people promoting using chlorine dioxide, a disinfectant, for coronavirus.
Trump and DHS official mentioned testing, quote, disinfectants versus COVID today at Presser.
FDA chief immediately runs to CNN to naysay.
Interesting power struggle here.
Yeah, really interesting how it spiked the amount of people calling into the hotlines for getting poison from drinking this stuff.
Really, really makes you think there, Jordan.
I feel like we're really ahead of the curve on like, you know, talking about bleach as a miracle cure.
Yeah.
That's true.
the big time. You know, I feel like if you want to understand
the future of American politics, you got to under you got to
study the dumbest, dumbest, dumbest parts of it before it gets mainstream. That's right. Yeah, that's so true. That's
how I'm always right. You guys, because I look at the dumbest
thing first. That's true. Exactly.
Hello and welcome back to this free episode of both trash future that podcast you're listening to now and also QAnon
anonymous.
QAnon Anonymous, welcome.
And Trashfuture, welcome to you guys.
Welcome to everybody!
Thank you!
In quarantine, everyone is so much more efficient that they're listening to two podcasts simultaneously.
I love that none of us know each other, and we're gonna be talking through a wall where we can't see each other, but we have to get married at the end of this all.
Using the podcasting glory hole for its intended purpose.
I've actually never met any of these people, but it's Follow Friday, so... Yeah, we were all introduced to one another one Follow Friday a long time ago.
This is the most, like, British thing, is like, you start a podcast through a kind of comedy of errors where you're too embarrassed not to.
Yeah.
Remember when Jesus was up on the cross and he turned to the centurion and said, well, I don't see what's very follow about this Friday.
That's right.
On our side, we have... He did say that.
We have Jake Rokitansky.
What's up, Jake?
Oh, hey, how's it going?
Travis View, the Q Specialist, the more serious one of our gang.
That's, I suppose, yeah, that's become my shtick.
We'll wake up a little bit.
It's early here yet over in America.
Shut the fuck up, Jake!
Shut the fuck up!
I'm not gonna lie.
I'm not gonna lie.
I woke up at about 8 a.m., set up all my equipment, and then went back to sleep like a child who wanted to sneak in a couple more minutes before their parents knocked on their door telling them it was time to go to school.
So who's the parent in this situation?
It's you, surely.
It's Julian.
No, Julian's always... Julian's dad, mom, and drunk uncle rolled up into one.
I'm the wine mom and then the dad is Travis.
So Travis called me at 9am and he woke me up.
That's true.
Because I had one too many last night, like literally.
So he's the dad, I'm the mom, and Jake is the child.
I was up and ready though, just for the record.
And I didn't drink last night.
Good job.
Nice.
So we have the three-unit family, QAnon Anonymous, Jake, Julian, and Travis here.
And we also have myself, Riley, Milo, and Alice, all in our sunny, sunny, undisclosed locations around the British Isles.
However, speaking of the British Isles, we are here today to talk about the evolution of UKIP from something very strange and fractious and conspiracy-laden, into something very strange, fractious, and conspiracy-laden.
ALICE Yeah, we're looking at, like, one of those weird fish things that, like, gasps up onto land, and only instead of turning into a man, it just kind of stays on the beach, just staying weird.
Just, like, one foot sprouting out of it.
Yeah.
Oh, absolutely.
So, a little bit of background for American listeners.
UKIP is a British political party called the United Kingdom Independence Party.
Its whole main raison d'etre was the securing of Brexit, basically.
That was all it was designed to do.
and independent from each other.
It was the securing of Brexit, basically.
That was all it was designed to do.
And then, having done it, it has imploded in a very funny way.
So what we're going to do is we're going to go through all the history of how this thing started
and how it got to where it is now.
But first, I'm going to read a quotation about UKIP from someone inside the party.
All I can say is that it has been inundated for a long time from people within UKIP and outside, from all parties and from none, saying that we need a new party.
There is clearly a huge demand across the country, across people's background and ages, and indeed across the old parties for something fresh and new which will represent them and Britain's interests.
Now, given what I've just told you, can you guess what year that was set?
Like this one.
Two weeks ago.
Yeah.
It sounds like something Donald Trump would say.
Folks, we're gonna have a new party.
People are saying it up and down the nation.
They're all saying it.
They agree.
I was just discussing this with someone else how the people are saying are literally two groups of people.
It's the Fox like morning crew and the people at his Mar-a-Lago party.
So imagine the types of idiots that are just telling him things.
It's so good.
No, so these words were actually spoken in 2005 about the UK.
So they've been like this forever.
Yeah, yes.
By a man named Robert Kilroy Silk, a daytime TV host and former MP, and the erstwhile big beast of the party before Nigel Farage.
ALICE Yeah, Robert Kilroy Silk fascinates me, right, because he's basically like an unsuccessful Trump.
His moment came too early.
He literally was like this, he was a politics guy who got badly disaffected by, like, things not being about him, and he just did a daytime TV show for like 20 years, and got more and more spray tan.
And made horrible television, and then decided, I'm gonna get into right-wing politics, and it never worked out for him, and that's a powerful thing to me.
For American listeners, Ree Robert Kilroy Silk, you know the bit in Bridget Jones's Diary where her mum runs off with the guy from, like, the shopping channel?
That is who Robert Kilroy Silk is.
Thanks.
You're probably speaking to the only three Americans who haven't watched that movie.
I mean, unless Jake did.
Wait, which movie?
Bridget Jones's Diary.
The only good British film.
Yeah, I've seen it.
I've seen the sequel too.
Okay, alright.
Yeah, I've seen it.
I've seen everything.
I'll tell you whatever you want.
The story we're going to tell today is of this weird and fractious group of right-wing psychos who won their greatest ambition by completely by accident, riding a moment of history they had nothing to do with, and then ending up tearing themselves to pieces in the process.
So, how we're going to do this is I have created and disseminated a timeline amongst everyone here.
And so we are going to, starting with the history of the European Union, we are going to figure out exactly how we got to the point of them all suing each other and trying to get each other arrested, which is happening now.
That rules.
Well, actually, they're doing what they normally do, which is glassing each other outside of pubs, but, like, in the public, in the kind of political arena, that's all.
Yeah, absolutely.
It's the end of the night, and so, yeah, you're punching your friend.
It's outside in All Bar One, and all of these guys are wearing very, very shiny shoes, and just, like, scuffling mutely with each other.
It's beautiful.
No, All Bar One is too aspirational a crowd for the UK plot.
They'd be outside, like, a Samuel Smith's beer house.
Ooh, yeah, you're right.
Against his wine lodge.
Well, no, here's the thing, right?
A, they'd be outside a carvery.
B, we've talked about this character before on Trashfuture as a member of the Bridge End Secret Service.
Yes!
Which is just a guy from a provincial English town who's made, like, quite a bit of money doing something you don't quite know what, and he always has a younger girlfriend in a used Jaguar, and is always telling you she was an ex-model.
ALICE Yeah, he's the British version of the, like, jet ski dealership Trump Psycho, right?
He runs, he has like a warehouse full of aftermarket car parts, and is, like, doing quite well, but is also, has been driven absolutely insane.
That's right.
By being a small business owner.
And this is a party of people who have been driven insane by being small business owners.
And we're going to go through the history.
So, a brief history of the EU to understand where we're coming from.
In 1956, the European Coal and Steel Community was formed, and this had a couple of intentions.
It was to stop the sort of constant bellicosity in the European continent by integrating the war industries of France and Germany.
So basically, there was no such thing as a German coal or steel miner company.
There was one company that would be both, for example.
So it would make them very hard to go to war.
The French finally teaching the Germans what they can do with all that excess coal dust.
Yeah, that's right.
Why would I put this on my face?
I'd like to burn it and make, like, power.
for much purpose.
Now, the coal and steel community was supposed to not just integrate these industries, but
make it very difficult to have these countries fight each other, and basically as a kind
of guarantee of liberalism on the European continent.
Now we can say, obviously, how did that go?
Well, the EU now is glad-handing right-wing dictators like Viktor Orban and Matteo Salvini, so they kind of sacrificed their chance to guarantee liberalism on the European continent in exchange for fiscal conservatism.
They keep making this argument, European Federalists, that, like, well, it's okay that we're, like, killing migrants by the boatload in the Mediterranean, because that's external.
Internally, we can keep these kind of liberal values, and you wouldn't want to do Putinism instead, right?
And meanwhile, inside the EU, Viktor Orban just kind of makes being trans illegal, and the EU's like, huh, well, it's not very good that you do that.
These days in Hungary, you say you're trans.
Yeah, you get locked up and thrown in jail.
Yeah, that's right.
I love the Guardian establishing a new office in Budapest.
So we're going to get through a little more of this history, and then we'll see where Euroscepticism comes from.
So in 1967, the Brussels Treaty is signed, which creates the European Economic Community, which is the basis for the European Union now.
So this creates the idea of common external tariffs.
The roots of free movement are set inside the countries.
That doesn't come until later, but still.
And we get this idea of economic cooperation everywhere.
And this is the roots of Euroscepticism.
Somewhere someone is just starting to form the spermatozoa that will be Emmanuel Macron.
Just getting turned on by this very moment.
This is a very evolutionary episode we're doing here, we're all playing Spore together, and we're watching what kind of, like, polyps and things.
What happens?
So how many how many legs can sprout out of somebody's head before they go extinct?
That's that that's the new conspiracy theory is that Mario Draghi has like nine different legs he's not showing the
people Hahaha.
Show us the legs!
All in his freezer.
So, basically, there are two kinds of Euroscepticism in the UK that come about in response to the Brussels Treaty.
The UK joins laterally.
So there's Powelite Euroscepticism based on Enoch Powell, which is the kind of Euroscepticism that's alive today.
There are too many migrants, they're taking the jobs, good jobs for British people.
Your classic racism, the rivers of blood speech.
And there's Benite Euroscepticism, which is named after Tony Benn, which is saying, well, look, what the common market actually is, is a way for capital to have immense power over labor.
It's a capitalist institution.
What it's going to do is completely smash any kind of workers' movement by either rendering it sclerotic and dependent on European-level handouts, or allow capital to go on strike very easily.
By the way, Tony Bennett was proven right.
What do you mean Greece where people used to live the longest has been just squeezed into like a fucking lemon just just pulverized under a boot.
What do you mean we're not doing well over there?
ALICE Yeah, listen, if you don't like being condescended to by Professor Doctor Thesis, like, fucking Austerity Fund Thesis plagiarism, then what even is the point of being in the European Union?
ZACH I'm sorry, your island had people living until 97?
Uh, yeah, I'm sorry, you're actually in debt now?
We're gonna need you to tighten your belt.
ALICE Hmm.
The EU really is the epitome of the intersectional landlord, isn't it?
Well, the Greeks were fine until there was no money in throwing donkeys off of church roofs anymore, and that's when it already went downhill.
Yeah, so Margaret Thatcher makes something called her Bruges speech in the late 80s in response to something called Social Europe, which is the European Union that aims to accommodate a Benite kind of Eurosceptic by trying to implement a lot of that cultural liberalism that we talked about earlier that they've utterly compromised on, as well as guarantees for, if not, say, trade union power, then workers' rights that could be taken away by the Commission, and so on and so on.
They're going to have a Social Europe and now we're stuck here in fucking Bruges.
So, Thatcher makes a speech that essentially the European Union must not be allowed to sneak in the big state through the back door and undoing all of her reforms.
And it's the Bruges speech that creates the modern Eurosceptic movement in the UK.
The Benite strand of Euroscepticism never really takes hold as a popular force.
I mean, it's got its holdouts, like people like Dennis Skinner, and various different movements, but it never becomes a political force like Howlite, right when Euroscepticism did.
ALICE That's the reason why the Lexit people in the referendum were all in, like, small kind of fringe parties, instead of the larger fringe parties like UKIP.
Yeah, this rule is because it means that you base your entire civilization on someone who was profoundly wrong, a bit like the Fukuyama end of history thing, and then he's just like, years later he's like, oh yeah, Marx was actually kinda had some good ideas.
And like everyone's like, shut up Fukuyama, go to bed.
Yeah, that's right.
What we get to next, and this is where we have the birth of UKIP, is the Maastricht Treaty, which creates the single market.
And here's where we then get freedom of movement.
We get the beginnings of the euro.
It doesn't get implemented until later, but we have the European exchange rate mechanism, which leads to a crisis and a run on the pound, the Stability and Growth Pact, and we have much more interference in domestic fiscal policy.
And this leads to the growth of not just Eurosceptic opinion, but Eurosceptic political parties running in the UK.
ALICE And I mean, also, this is the thing, right?
Because a lot of the financial policy is quite boring, the way that Euroscepticism sort of gets fuelled is by scare stories in the press about how the EU is going to ban curvy bananas and saying you're English.
And funnily enough...
Funnily enough, one key figure in this is the then Daily Telegraph's Brussels correspondent, one Boris Johnson.
Yeah, we did an episode where Annie Kelly explained these curvy bananas to us, and his whole history, and how he was just basically a lovable clown who just, a bit like Trump, you know, just transitioned acts.
So, what we get is the early Euroskeptic movement is relatively academic.
It's based out of LSE, and it's led by this guy called Alan Sked, who is an academic.
Oh, Sked, Sked, motherfucker.
He started the UTIP in opposition to Maastricht in 93, and then they started standing candidates in 97.
But he wasn't the only Euroskeptic party.
There was also James Goldsmith's referendum party that was like, overtly white supremacist,
allegedly.
Wasn't Alan Sked like a Benite Euroskeptic though?
Because I remember hearing, I knew some people at LSE who knew him and they were like, Alan
Sked is like terminally embarrassed that he started UKIP because people keep bringing
it up to him and he's like, I know!
I've left Sked marks!
Well, that's just it.
Because he started it as a professorial problem with Maastricht, which pointed out some real problems with Maastricht.
And then, very quickly, he resigned from the leadership after 97 in protest at, quote, and this is going to become a theme, you kept attracting members who are racist and have been infected by the far right, warning that it was a doomed project.
Like, Dr. Frankenstein being like, hmm, my experiment to determine whether or not I can reanimate a person appears to have been, like, fatally compromised by the fact that it's made of murder parts.
There's gotta be one dumbass who was in those Manhattan Project meetings who later felt like this.
I thought what we were making was gonna be THE bomb, not THE bomb.
So what I find really interesting about this, right, is that the whole idea of opposition to the EU, which has left-wing roots, and which even has left-wing roots to the point that the guy who started UKIP would have very little in common with Farage, has largely just been overtaken by the fact that it's much easier to galvanize people to support right-wing policies, if you're like the Telegraph or whatever, Um, if you can blame it on some cultural shit with the European Union, like they're gonna, y'know, turn the continent into a caliphate or whatever, and just ignores the very real problems.
ALICE It's very weird how, for some reason, this keeps happening, that you have this kind of neoliberal institution, and for some reason, all of the criticisms of it that preserve capital have an easier time, and so you just end up with this kind of, like, a fascist or nativist or nationalist assault on this institution that was never that great to start with, and meanwhile you're just over here on the other side like, yeah, but if you'd listen to us... and it kind of, like, you can't be like that, because it was always going to be this way, because there was always going to be this kind of, this structural interest in the favor of capital.
Yeah.
And so, basically, it's in the 2000s that UKIP begins to become what we would recognize it as today.
Because it wasn't very major in the 1990s, the referendum party was the big Eurosceptic party in the 90s, and that's the one that was like, ah, Brussels is gonna make it, they're gonna force you to wear blackface, but not because you want to!
Yeah, they're gonna make you wear gay blackface.
Yeah, I love the idea of naming a party the Referendum Party, as though, like, we're just the pro-voting party.
The Elections Party.
Vote for us, we'll have more of it.
Well, Democratic Party?
Yeah.
Yeah, that's right.
So, in the early 2000s, the man to watch in UKIP was not Nigel Farage, it was Kilroy Silk, who then challenged their leader- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!
There's a guy in your country called Kilroy Silk?
Robert Kilroy Silk was the guy... Yeah, you missed this part?
Jesus, man, even I've been paying attention to this.
I'm sorry, I had to do a thing for one moment.
My favorite detail about Robert Kilroy Silk is that he hosted what was briefly called the worst game show on British television, where it was called Share or Shaft, and you had like two contestants...
We have to put this in as a drop somehow, because I don't have it on me presently, but we have to have this, where he would, like... it was like you could steal money out of, like, two contestants, and he would ask them whether they wanted to share with, like, a hand gesture indicating sharing, or shaft, with a, like, finger in, like, hand hole kind of gesture to indicate shafting.
Yeah, my favorite was his show Killroy, which was like a kind of version of Jerry Springer, but hosted by a madman, where he would get the audience to stand up and, like, voice their opinions about what was going on on stage, and he would just steal their seat, and when they went to sit back down, would refuse to get out of it.
So you just have him talking to camera from the seat of the audience with, like, an angry woman called Maureen just kind of awkwardly standing next to him.
Once again, a Trump guy.
Absolutely a Trump guy.
This guy was the big beast of UKIP in the early 2000s.
And here's the interesting thing.
In 1975, he wrote an article for the Times, before the Times was what it is now, said that politics was Not about compromises and bargains, or hankering after spurious consensus, and that the function of a labour government was creative, to cast, as far as it is able, society in its image, and that socialists should not be worried about being accused of using dictatorial powers, and must go forward with a tint of arrogance.
So he was not a... he was a labour guy, who was not a, like, centrist reformist, He was a quite full-throated, if not socialist, then at least an ambitious Labour politician who was not there to compromise with the Tories.
Although he did famously hate Jeremy Corbyn, reportedly grabbing him by the lapels and nearly decking him in Portcullis House in the 1980s.
ALICE Yeah, I mean, he did the most Bridgend Secret Service line in an interview that I read about this, where he had this scuffle with Corbyn, was that he said, I didn't hit him because if I'd hit him he would've stayed down.
And I was like, yeah, okay, cool.
He was lucky I'm too strong.
Yeah, my kid's here, I'm on parole.
I was gonna say, is that like a thinly-veiled joke for him, like, murdering Corbyn?
Like, he's like, yeah, if I would've hit him, he would've stayed down forever.
And that's right, by that I mean, I killed him.
Also, saying you could deck Jeremy Corbyn is like, not the brag you think it is.
Yeah, I could kick the shit out of this nice pacifist.
Yeah, he doesn't even have, like, a cartoonist like Ben Garrison to, like, fake draw his 25 year old muscular body or whatever.
Imagine if Kilroy Silk had been born just a little bit later.
He would be Prime Minister.
Yeah, so that's my question, right, is how did he go from this class warrior, right, to game show to, like, UK?
Well, he melted after Thatcher, basically.
I think a lot of people responded to the 1980s differently, especially in labor.
Because in the 1970s and 60s, you had this really strong labor movement that was behind you, so you could be the political voice of that movement after 79.
After 79, you need to be a real believer in the labour movement to continue politics in that vein, whereas if you're a politician who is just representing the movements that you think exist, there's very little for you to represent in terms of a robust labour government in the 1980s.
That's how we get Blair.
So what you're telling me is that this is Neil Kinnock's fault?
That's right, yeah.
And it's the same in the States.
I mean, you have Ronald Reagan coming along promising a kind of, like, a self, the restoration of, like, a powerful self, an American self, and it completely transformed politics because it destroyed the left's, like, argument, basically.
Because it hadn't been making a leftist argument, but it essentially sent it into disarray and changed politics forever, shifting the Overton window and everything.
He was the first to be like, you're gonna be powerful, you're gonna be great, like, we're gonna win.
With me.
And so Kilroy Silk is one of these guys that really takes that on board.
And that's why, sort of, he so easily blends into Ukip, which is all about Which is, even at this point, after SCAD left, is just this bubbling cauldron of various kinds of poorly thought out cultural grievances against an institution that, again, as Alice said, is dogshit and should be legitimately criticized, but for its terrible economics, not because of just some stuff that the Telegraph made up.
ALICE Not because it's making you wear the gay blackface.
As an American, like, watching the elections, it was fascinating to see, kind of, Corbyn be accused of wanting to do Brexit like it was, like, a racist stance and then he was waffling a little bit around it or being kind of vague.
I get it.
Like, it's true.
The right has completely hijacked what should be, what should have, like, a solution on the left side as well, right?
Like, we should have... Yeah, he never had a chance.
Yeah, our anti-EU party, you know?
I do wish that American politicians would get into more fistfights, though, on the floor.
Yeah, that's true.
Can I interest you in Serbian politics?
I think that that would be really cathartic, like, for our entire country as a whole if, you know, people just watch Devin Nunes just get, you know, punched repeatedly in the face over some wooden table.
Before the Civil War, it used to be like this.
Elihu Root, who was the senator from New York, immediately prior to the Civil War, once ended up in a fistfight in the Senate, standing on top of a desk, threatening to brain anyone who came near him with a spittoon he had grabbed.
Oh, see, that's classic America.
No, we were British still.
Like, when we became American, we became more peaceful.
Terrible, terrible direction for the country.
I say go back to the violence.
When they got rid of the spittoons, that's when it went wrong.
Yeah.
Robert Kilroy Silk, he's famous, he's got the world's most tanned man, he has multiple daytime TV shows, he's in the papers all the time.
He then wrote a column for a tabloid called the Daily Express in 2004, and he said, The Arab states murdered more than 3,000 civilians on the 11th of September and then danced in the hot, dusty streets to celebrate.
Adding that the despotic, barbarous, and corrupt Arab states were populated exclusively by suicide bombers, limb amputators, and woman repressors.
Cool.
There's three jobs you can get in the Arab world.
Going further to say they should go down on their knees and thank God for the magnificence of the United States.
Few of them make any contribution to the welfare of the rest of the world.
Now the weird thing is... Wow.
If you wrote that same column for the Express now, you'd probably get some extra money, maybe a promotion in whatever political party you're in.
ALICE You'd get some kind of a prize, right?
You'd be shortlisted for something.
But like, no, this is the problem with Kyoro Silk, right, is that he's ten years too early for everything.
He's ten years too early to do socialism, and then he's ten years too early to do daytime TV, particularly successfully, and then he's ten years too early to get to the, like, uh, just straight up race war stuff, and then it's like ten years too early to get to Trump!
It's a tragedy, almost.
Dude, so wait, so this guy, though, he thinks like during a Muslim prayer, people are going to get on their knees and instead of they're just going to switch to the United States.
Like, well, I mean, I mean, I'm afraid of Dallas.
Yeah.
I mean, I'm I am literally I'm putting off praying so I can record a podcast with you nerds.
So like, yeah, maybe.
Yeah.
People are praying to Allah.
But where are the people praying to Wendy?
So here's the thing.
What Kilroy Silk did was he defected from UKIP after being turfed, basically, to form a new party called Veritas, which took nearly two-thirds of UKIP membership with it, but was then completely annihilated in the polls, because again, Alex, as you say, Robert Kilroy Silk was basically ten years too early on all of these insane right-wing trends.
Yeah, he's got no sense of timing.
I feel like you can look at the career of Robert Kilroy Silk if you're ever confused about what's gonna happen next, right?
It's the thing that he's currently doing is the thing that's now gonna be the next thing along.
Yeah, in ten years, there will be a project called Project Veritas, and one young man will dress as a pimp.
That's right, yeah!
To take down acorn!
Three small boys will stand on top of one another inside a giant suit, pretending to be a journalist.
Pretending to be someone who can't get access to the vote.
Fuck, I hate it.
Veritas is such a fucking shit name for a party, too.
There was another party that only exclusively had membership of, like, dads in the home counties, and an ex-girlfriend of mine's dad from the home counties was in this party called Libertas, which was very similar.
Oh yeah, what do the people love to vote for?
Latin.
Yeah, Latin is essentially so creepy.
Like, you would just, like, not select it.
I mean, as a complete rando, you walk in, you see a Latin name, and you're like, okay, not gonna vote for that, obviously.
Yeah, absolutely.
I mean, unless, of course, you're in ancient Rome, in which case they'd be like, well, this is totally normal.
Pass my vote.
The joke doesn't make sense anymore.
I don't even go to Greek name parties.
Go anything in Minoan.
So basically, in 2006, after two more leaders, Farage then takes over, and that's when UKIP's transformation from Mesked's vision into essentially Thatcher's vision is complete.
Who is Nigel Farage?
So, Nigel, ScansVision just sounds like an aborted, like, 90s games console that was invented by fucking Alan Sugar.
ALICE Yeah, it's like Clive Sinclair's Virtual Boy clone, ScansVision.
RILEY So, basically, Nigel Farage is a currency... was a privately educated banker.
ALICE Who was?
Who was an original in Alan Sked's coterie.
So it's not like UKIP was this wonderful left-wing institution.
It was always weird and fractious and everyone in it hated everyone else the whole time.
Cool.
But Farage was this guy, this finance guy, who saw the opportunity to basically continue Thatcher's project that he saw as forestalled by Blair and paused by European integration.
Marriage for the Americans like we always just see him like in his kitchen watching like a tiny television looking day drunk with like a red face and then we forget his name because he's too depressing to actually remember like he doesn't have any of the characteristics that make him a funny buffoon.
He's just depressing.
Yeah.
He's just jacking it to the Queen, but he can't even watch videos of the Queen, because that would be rude, so he has to use his imagination.
ALICE My favourite fact about Nigel Farage is that when he was at Dulwich College, they, first of all, they tried to stop him from being a prefect because he was too fascist, which is just an objectively insane, like, that's like trying to stop you from being a cop because you're too racist, right?
Part of the reason why they decided he was too fascist was because when he was in the cadets, he led a route march through a bunch of, like, small villages, fucking singing Hitler songs, like he was doing the horse-vessel lead.
Genuinely true.
On God, that is, it is in The Independent and The Times, you can look it up, that is who the guy is.
I'm just kinda wondering why people don't look to, like, you're gonna play Hitler?
That's like putting the Beatles on, man.
Where'd you find a lesser fascist?
Do, like, some Iron Guard shit.
Do a more obscure kind of fascist.
Yeah!
Proto-fascist.
That's great.
It'd be more funny if Farage set up, like, a dead poet society in Dulwich College, but for reading the work of Marinetti.
Of Führer by Führer.
Standing on a desk reading Ezra Pound, yeah.
It's a film school that just only watches black and white German movies from a certain era.
Yeah.
That's right.
So, basically, Farage described David Cameron as a, quote, socialist whose priorities were gay marriage, foreign aid, and wind farms.
And that, in other words, politics.
Let's get gay married on top of a wind turbine.
David Cameron, one of the architects of austerity, is still described as a socialist who just wants to do cultural degeneration on Britain.
David Cameron turning Jolyon Maugham's garden into a wedding chapel just to annoy him.
That's right.
And Cameron referred to UKIP as fruitcakes, loonies, and closet racists, and I'm like, closet?
So, that's sort of where we are now.
UKIP is secure, it's transformation from a Eurosceptic party into the political wing of whatever fringe right-wing tabloid belief is in Britain, has now been completed.
ALICE It's the political, the armed wing of UKIP at this point is Fathers for Justice.
Right.
And so you're saying this is, yeah, 2006-2007, I didn't even know it was this early.
I think it kinda came into our, like, international eyes a little later.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, but at this point there's still like a... Oh yeah, it was a joke for a really long time.
Yeah, exactly.
They're an also-ran, um...
In fact, we're going to see the circumstances that lead them to become a big party, because right now they're still fringe.
They're still very much fringe at this point.
After 2007, we have the Treaty of Lisbon, which is not as relevant for domestic policy as the previous treaties were.
I could do an entire hour on different European treaties.
Uh, suffice to say that Lisbon was all about- Come to Riley's Edinburgh Show!
Yeah, that's right, come to it.
Riley's Commie Treaty Club?
Lisbon was about increasing political federalism and a greater acquis for foreign policy and security.
So it was the birth of the common foreign and security policy.
That was the one that had the, um, ever closer union thing that terrified all of these people, right?
Yeah, but all the stuff that actually created the economic functioning of the European Union sort of got kind of laid down in Maastricht, clarified in Amsterdam, and then- Lisbon is just like, what if we just had cops together?
Yeah, Lisbon has said- Why aren't they gonna do the Treaty of Versailles but for blaming someone from 9-11?
Yeah.
So Lisbon is about common foreign and security policy but also does express a common desire for ever closer union.
We're just going to do some economics together and if our lips touch would that be so bad?
Yeah.
So that never really pans out because of what happens the next year, which is the financial crisis.
So this is where social Europe dies its final death, even though it's been gone for a long time.
And what we then get is ad hoc interference in domestic politics in the Eurozone.
So that's different from the European Union, the currency area.
It's in the Eurozone periphery, so that's Italy, Spain, Greece, etc., to address the financial crisis while simultaneously maintaining a low interest rate and avoiding any fiscal transfers and hardening Europe's external borders as the senior leadership of the European Union basically realizes that right-wing populism is inevitable and that the way that you keep your union without causing you to have to, like, make the Germans give anyone any money is to just let people do more and more and more racism.
Real Martin Schultz hours.
No, you have to picture this as, like, Angela Merkel with, like, laser eyes.
That's, like... just, like, zooming outwards, to, like, a gigantic Merkel.
French President Jacques Twingo.
So this is where the forces of reactionary fascism in Europe get kicked back into overdrive as the response to the European financial crisis.
But we're not in the eurozone.
The UK is not.
It doesn't use the euro.
It uses the pound.
We're in the swing zone.
So what happens is we have a different scandal the following year that is not as widely known outside of Europe.
In 2009, we have the UK parliamentary expenses scandal.
And this is the moment when politics came back into the country and the small parties, including UKIP, surged to begin receiving big shares of the vote in European level and local level elections.
So, Alice, can you tell us all about the expenses scandal?
So, yeah, no.
Basically, MPs have a very, very generous, or certainly at this point had, a very, very generous system of grants Whereby you could expense pretty much anything you wanted on the basis that it was a parliamentary necessity, and it would all just go into a file that no one ever looked at, and there was no oversight, and that was cool, right?
Until one day, the Daily Telegraph looked in the file.
And this was very bad for everyone, because when you looked in the file, it found things like, ah, I have expensed, like, a £3 sandwich, or I have expensed a £60 upgrade to First Class for a journey that I didn't really need to take, or, the biggest one, I have expensed to the taxpayer building a new duck house on the grounds of my mansion for ducks.
ALICE What is a duck house?
Duck House is a little house for ducks.
Is this a thing in England?
You guys are fucking sickos, dude.
Duck House is the slob fraternity on the grounds of your mansion.
Is it like a hen house?
Do they make eggs?
Is it just convenient for the ducks?
No, no, no, it's a purely ornamental duck house.
You have your big house, and then in case you worry that the ducks are maybe getting rained on, which is not good for a duck, because ducks' backs are famously water absorbent, you get a little duck house, and then you bill that to the Treasury.
So basically, Tony Soprano was getting in a lot of trouble about this.
ALICE No, you know what this is?
This whole scandal was very much the bit in Uncut Gems where the guys grab him and they're like, I heard you got your fucking pool resurfaced.
Right?
It was a series of extremely dumb guy expenses, which then became immediately a huge scandal.
Yeah, as they rightly should have.
And so what happened?
It's rare, it's usually Scandinavia that'll fire a fucking guy for a single meal that they expensed wrong.
But they didn't get fired necessarily, because this was just common practice.
It only became a problem when people began to realize that the MPs of the country were basically expensing literally everything they could.
I know of one guy who actually did get his swimming pool resurfaced as a result of this.
There was one, was it Yvette Cooper who claimed that she was paying rent to her sister to, like, live in her broom cupboard?
What is she, like, Harry Potter?
It was this kind of thing.
It was this kind of thing.
I cannot, like, the duck house thing is, like, scratching the surface, right?
Like, we cannot express how much the entire political class of this country were caught, very openly, just taking the piss.
Yeah, just taking the money.
Just with a hand in the bag.
Although, to be fair, very unusual to go around the Houses of Parliament opening random secret files and not find child pornography, so you could use that.
ALICE Yeah, it's like, you have two identical Manila files to publish, you can only publish one of them.
One of them says Elm Guesthouse, and the other one is, pull the trigger on every single expenses claim, and you're just kind of sweating, and you're like, eh.
And then you get the call from MI5, and you're like, well...
Travis, to fully explain Duck House to you, Travis, I just want to say this.
The Brits, they live in the Duck House until the third repayment to Tom Nook, at which point they've reimbursed enough to move into a normal person house.
Okay, that, that I understand.
So, as a result of this, what we get is a massive collapse in confidence in the main parties in lots of different elections.
We're still not seeing all of the ramifications of this yet, I don't think.
No, I don't think so either.
So the UKIP received 16.5% of the vote in the 2009 European Parliamentary elections.
This is where the British National Party is basically run out of town, which is an openly fascist party, is no longer in existence.
And what's interesting is that people frequently say that it was Having their party leader, Nick Griffin, on Question Time that destroyed it.
And so everyone trying to say that you ought to have fascists on chat shows all the time says, no, you have to do it.
Look, we had Nick Griffin on, he was embarrassed, and the BNP was destroyed.
But all that actually happened was the BNP was replaced by another party that had almost its same ideology.
Also, Boris Johnson did exactly the same thing, but it worked.
He went on those shows, they thought he was cute, and now we're married.
Yeah, and so the BNP was replaced... The BNP's political project wasn't ended by Nick Griffin going on Question Time, it's just it was replaced by another party with the same project for an unrelated reason, which is the European Parliament elections.
Can we do one second just explaining to American listeners why the fuck the British politicians go on, like, questions and answer shows like that?
Like, that just is not a thing that happens in America.
Like, questions time?
It comes up so fucking much in the history of your political class.
I don't understand it.
What is it?
I'll be honest, I don't know why it exists, but partly it's because... I mean, if you want to look at why it might exist... I mean, it exists for no reason that is helpful to anyone.
It exists largely to generate headlines.
The BBC as a public body has a job to educate, entertain, and inform, and so it saw part of its role as providing the public, as having insight into what politicians are thinking, and give the public access to politicians.
But, um, the question time is now sort of more used to generate ratings and takes and controversies.
Can we get Joe Biden on it?
It's basically like Jeremy Kyle or Jerry Springer, but for people who went to Oxbridge.
Yeah, but then all the questions are being asked by, like, Yoda.
Like, every question's like, well, could I just ask the minister what exactly is he thinks about the disgrace when the Muslims are taking the tax money and spending it on paedophilia?
And then the government minister is like, what?
ALICE The really funny thing, right, is that Scottish nationalists during the referendum were like, hmm, everybody on the BBC and every single person asking questions on Question Time is clearly an MI5 plant, and if you weren't a Scottish nationalist, you laughed at them and you said that they were paranoid, and then they were just kind of proven right in an irritating way.
And it just kind of turned out that, yeah, the whole thing was just incredibly rigged.
It's cool.
It's sort of like us in QAnon, just slowly finding out that they have somewhat of a point.
Yeah, right?
Like, you don't want them to be right, because they're annoying, but it kind of... Question time?
This is amazing.
This is like, spy shit.
I'm in.
I mean, later, obviously, once we get through this episode and we stop killing Wily.
You can't spell question time without Q.
I mean, the Scottish National Party are a stopped clock and it just so happens that the time that they stopped at is like the year 1200.
And the name of that year?
1984.
That's right, that's right.
So interestingly, in the 2010 election, Nigel Farage decides, he's never been elected as an MP, he's trying to get elected and I think either Thurrock or Clacton, and he decides to fly a plane carrying a UKIP banner behind it that says, vote for your country, vote UKIP.
QAnon Anonymous people, what do you think happened next?
Um, he attempted to fly a plane.
I'm gonna say the word attempted means that he fucked up flying the plane.
Oh yeah, real bad.
Basically, the worst you can do at flying a plane is what happened.
He attempted to fly a plane.
That's like never a good way to describe getting into a plane and taking off.
Attempting to fly it.
Yeah, flying a plane can only be successful or not.
You know, that's not one of those, like, in-between, like, I kinda fucked it up, like, you gotta fuck it or you're okay.
That was a localized 9-11 style incident.
I can't believe that Roald Dahl survived his crash, but also Farage.
Like, this is bullshit.
Would you take both?
If we could reverse them both?
I don't know.
So what happened was that basically they just, I think they might have just put the banner on really shoddily and hastily, so it wrapped around the tail fin of the aircraft immediately after it took off, leading to a plane crash.
It basically just shook up.
Just shook up Farage.
Go to your country boat, UKIP MP!
Crash the plane immediately!
It almost kills the guy!
Oh, them UKIP boys.
What a fucking clown show.
So, basically, the only people who ever become UKIP MPs, with one exception, are Douglas Carswell and Mark Reckless, both of whom defect from the Tory party.
An amazing name.
A 10 out of 10 name for a UKIP MP.
Mark Reckless?
Is that his real name?
Yep, that's it.
They were both elected in 2010 and they defected to UKIP and then in 2015 only Carswell kept his seat.
Carswell had to change his name from Douglas Plainsbad after this.
I'm pretty sure about this.
If I'm wrong, it doesn't really matter.
They were both defectors.
I don't think any UKIP MP has ever actually been elected originally as a UKIP MP.
I think in 2015 Carswell was... He was re-elected, but there's never been an original UKIP MP who stood at the start as a UKIP MP.
So the three people are called Reckless, Carswell, and Nuttall?
Well, not all comes later.
Not all!
If you want to know something about Douglas Carswell, he still, unfortunately, is a journalist because this country has infinite columnists.
But he recently said, one good thing about the coronavirus is that it will return the bow and curtsy.
Cool.
Oh man.
I'm curtsying constantly, yes.
Love that.
Fucking David Foster Wallace and Gromit over here with Infinite Columns.
It fucking sucks that our entire society Just has this fascist undercurrent running through it that's like basically based on Jeeves and Wooster.
I fucking hate it.
It's literally just like, I can finally appreciate the fact that I don't like other people's bodies and warmth and lives at all.
So, basically, at the 2015 general election, UKIP won 13% of the vote, but only got this one MP, because they're popular, but they don't have concentrated support anywhere.
And because of this, they're always threatening the Tories more or less everywhere.
David Cameron always ends up having to capitulate to his right, which I wonder if that's a lesson the left should learn with regard to the Labour Party.
Anyway... It was a shame he had that stroke.
So, um, what happens is, uh, David Cameron, in an attempt to try to get UKIP voters to vote for the Tories instead of UKIP, feeling threatened by Carswell and Reckless and Farage, uh, promises the Brexit referendum.
We all know how that goes.
Brexit happens and Farage resides.
Aww.
2016.
F's in the chat for the European Union.
Watching a small TV in his kitchen.
In the sky.
Oh, he's not God forever, don't worry.
He's staying well out of the sky, believe me.
Yeah, you watch the skies.
In the time since the Brexit referendum, how many leaders, this is back for the QAnon anonymous people, how many leaders has UKIP been through?
I'll give you a hint, it's less than 10.
Okay.
I mean, I'll go for five.
I'm gonna say three.
Eight.
Ah, fuck!
Travis, the cynical realist, once again defeats us.
Um, so, uh, Diane James is chosen as leader after Farage resigns 18 days later.
Paul Nuttall is then elected.
Come on, man!
I'm telling you, this one is gonna fucking break my brain.
You can't add Nuttall to Reckless and Carswell.
Like, it's not... And Kilroy Silk.
There's lots of great names in this one.
Paul Nuttall, just fucking racist Rupert the Bear.
One of the most amazing men to have ever lived.
Uh, so what happens is, it's relatively uneventful.
In March 2017, both UKIP MPs, Carswell and Reckless, defect again.
Oh.
And then after the 2017 election, which sees UKIP's share of the vote start to go down and down and down, Not all steps down.
And then there's another leadership election.
So Anne-Marie Waters, who's like, founded a group called Sharia Watch.
Yeah, she really reads the Satan's tweets.
That rules, man.
I'm swapping out my Seiko.
Yeah, basically said, if you don't make me the leader and bring my ideas into the mainstream of UKIP, because you got Brexit, now it's time to finish the job, basically.
See, she said she was going to take on the role, that if she wasn't elected, everyone would have a mass walkout.
But then, the people who were like, I'm racist and were supporting her, and the people who were like, I'm not racist but, were against her.
Personally, I think that the Sharia Watch was a great invention.
It tells you exactly when to pray, when to not eat pork, all that good stuff.
So what happens is, Henry Bolton is then made leader, promising to move the party away from the overt Islamophobia, and Anne-Marie Waters breaks away to form another fascist party that was breathlessly covered by the media, and more or less given, again, a false lease on life, which then died on the vine as soon as they actually stood for something.
I believe it was a Lewisham by-election they got 1% of the vote in.
But they got like 30% of the press coverage.
Anyway, it's then revealed that Henry Bolton left his wife for a relationship with, and this is massive Bridge End Secret Service areas here, left his wife for a relationship with an ex-model called Joe Marni, who then sent out a massive SMS campaign against Meghan Markle that's, let's just say, was widely described as extremely racist.
Nice.
Are we going to drop it in?
Can you tell us what it was?
Who sends SMS?
You kept people!
They're all old!
Yeah, they're all old.
They all have the green balls.
I wouldn't even know how to begin to do a campaign like that.
It feels very funny, right?
That I'm being... After this party wins, it's raison d'etre is fulfilled, it then falls into fractious infighting where just some bullshit about the royal family and someone that the leader's having an affair with ends up causing another row.
Well, that's the thing, is like, with these parties, they're basically like, let's get the lads together, we're gonna go, like, hurt the minorities.
But then they get together, and they're like, okay, we're here.
And then they don't do the next part, because it's illegal.
And so they get bored and fight each other.
Breaking news, breaking news.
Alice Caldwell Kelly has been kidnapped by Q-Informants.
Or rather, her internet has been intercepted by a combination of the Gates Foundation and that bleach company that Trump likes.
So she has been taken away and extraordinarily renditioned from this podcast.
So we'll be completing it with just the five of us.
She was riffing a little too effectively and we had to send in the Q-Team.
Yeah, absolutely.
I'm so glad that somebody else got kidnapped for once though and not me.
I'm kind of sick of it.
So Alice has been kidnapped, but the rest of us soldier on.
So this is pure Bridge End Secret Service shit with Henry Bolton.
Anyway, so a rocking conflict between UKIP's leading committee and Bolton led to Bolton being kicked out of the party, but then he refused to leave, so the members voted him out, and a man named Gerard Batten, a member of European Parliament, was brought in.
Fuck, dude, you're all just called frickin' Batten shit.
I love Gerard Batten's films, he was awesome in Olympus Has Fallen.
So, Batten is where it gets interesting, and where it gets very QAnon anonymous-y, because Batten had some very interesting ideas about how to keep the party relevant, uh, and attract new blood to a group who- Oh my god, I remember this!
Oh no!
Oh no, this happened!
Oh no!
Yeah, that's right.
I forgot.
Ugh, go on.
So, Batten basically decides he really wants to turn up the, uh, why-can't-we-say-radical-Islam-is-a-problem element of UKIP.
And so, he invites Tommy Robinson, Sargon of Akkad, Count Dankula, and Milo Yiannopoulos to be members again.
Yeah, he wants to make them cool, yeah.
So we're back to the salient feature of our timeline, is boomers becoming 4chan YouTube comment pepe trolls.
I couldn't believe it when I saw Carl Benjamin fucking trying to run there, until he got that milkshake right across the face, which was very funny.
Tommy Robinson also got the milkshake.
Are Marcus and Milo milkshake free so far?
Don't know.
Yeah.
It was very lovely to watch the other two though just with their faces full of just white awful liquid they didn't want on it and just kind of walking through crowds trying to get wiped off.
Milo, Milo Yiannopoulos is a real bugbear of mine because he and I were at Cambridge at the same time and I get confused with him like not infrequently.
No!
Do you dye your hair?
You wear furs a lot and dye your hair blonde?
That's the worst.
Not that frequently, but it's happened more times than I would like.
Oh no.
It's like when people come up to me and I introduce myself as Jake and they go, oh, Jake from State Farm.
And I'm like, fuck you.
That's right.
Fuck you imagining me in some plain ass khakis.
Like, how dare you?
Yeah.
So, basically with this influx of YouTubers, the party takes on an interesting edge.
Now it starts basically posting GamerGate stuff on its nefarious official accounts.
Because they have Count Dankula and a guy who called himself Sargon of Akkad, which is an ancient fucking ruler that I only know because I play Civilization V and VI.
Fuck!
So, this is emails from Politico that I'm now reading out.
This is the Batten era.
The new UKIP is part of the International Freedom Movement alongside the American Conservative Right, said Sargon.
Carl Benjamin, whatever.
And they would consider themselves to be brothers-at-arms, despite the many thousands of miles that separate them.
Again, in arms!
You're fat YouTube guys that complain that the boobs in video games are too small.
But wasn't this the time, around the time that Steve Bannon was trying to build a coalition?
I remember him doing the rounds at this time and hitting you guys up for some support and trying to rally in France as well.
Yeah, I don't know if these... I mean, I think they're... Paul Joseph Watson, who's also involved in this, and Count Dankula and Tommy Robinson, all these people, they're probably all getting hit up by people who want to, like, get their audience for a new conservative movement.
I don't think they were all working together.
Because, like, Steve Bannon, love him or hate him, he knows what is a spent political force.
And after 2016, UKIP is the definition of a spent political force.
Yeah.
I'm just loving the idea of them trying to bring Kilroy Silk back and just showing him stills from Dead or Alive 2 for Dreamcast and showing him the titties and they're like, I mean, do you think these are too big, Robert?
Watson said that the party is part of one unified effort to preserve Western civilization.
And also add nudes mods to every video game.
Yeah, that's right.
And talk about how, you know, maybe if girls wanted someone to quarantine with them, they should be nicer to nice guys.
And that's basically what UKIP is even now.
That kicks so much ass.
That's their party.
So they went from, like, pub brawlers to whiny YouTube incels?
Like, this party fucking kicks ass.
Riley, correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't there a phase where their de facto leader for a bit was Godfrey Bloom?
Uh, I think he's always been a big player, but I don't think he was ever actually leader.
There was an awesome period around, like, after Farage's resignation where somehow Godfrey Bloom was, like, the main, like, blustering force doing all the talking, and there was just this awesome moment where he was walking down the street with the UKIP manifesto out of their conference, and a bunch of journalists came up and they were like, Why, why is that?
Cause there were like hundreds of people pictured on the front and they were like, why is there not a single like black or brown person pictured on the front of the UKIP manifesto?
And he went, you're picking people up by the color of their skin.
That's disgusting.
And they started beating a reporter with the copy of the manifesto that he was holding.
No, he wasn't leader.
He was like, fennel thing, quick!
He wasn't leader.
However, but he was always a prominent figure.
He was another MEP.
And so Gerard Batten says, I don't want to change UKIP.
I want to take it to another level.
I want us to be a populist party.
Batten used to be a phone salesman who likes to wear loud pink suits.
So he kind of is like Kilroy Silk, but without the charm.
He's like the T-Mobile CEO.
He's doing like Keemstar shit.
We're gonna take it to another level, baby.
Basically, Batten then labeled Islam a death cult and brought in open fascist Tommy Robinson, and then associated UKIP with the Democratic Football Lads Alliance, which again is a fascist street fighting group made up of YouTube incels.
Which again, is a thing.
The Democratic Football Lads Alliance, just every single time it gets me.
This is so interesting because we can see what Robinson's been up to since our episode with Andy Kelly on him.
But just last month something happened to him, huh?
Look at that.
Oh yeah, stuff keeps happening to him.
Yeah, he's going places.
So basically what we get is Gerard Batten taking Taking UKIP, which always was this thing, and then everyone in UKIP sort of humming and hawing about what he's doing to it.
So it says, Robinson's appointment as a personal advisor to Batten precipitated the exodus of all the old guard.
He was never actually allowed to join because he used to be part of the BNP.
If you have ever been part of the BNP, you're prohibited from doing more or less anything formally, but you're allowed to do whatever you want de facto.
Hello, Mr. Trump!
Will you please take me in the USA to try to take my freedom away?
Please!
Yeah, he's a refugee for free speech.
And so basically, again, because UKIP, especially after the Kilroy Silk era, is all about never saying the quiet part loud and keeping just respectable enough.
But as the country has gone right, what the quiet part is and what the loud part is, the line between those two things has always shifted.
And so all the things that Robert Kilroy Silk was saying got booted out of the party in 2004, like Gerard Batten or Godfrey Bloom would be saying in 2016-17, and they'd be considered the mainstream of the party.
The problem then was Tommy Robinson, who was just a little bit too far to the right.
And so then there was this battle between the old respectable UKIPers, quote-unquote-unquote, and the whiny YouTube comments guys who are represented by Tommy Robinson and Paul Joseph Watson and stuff, over the soul of the party again.
So Batten lost his European Parliament seat, resigned as leader, but then ran again.
As deputy leader with a puppet mastering, a guy who was going to be leader who was in his faction, whose name was, and this is the best of the UKIP names so far, Dick Brain.
Yeah.
This is literally, for the audience, the word Dick and then Brain with an E at the end.
There is no, this guy's name is Dick Brain.
Yeah, this guy's name is Dick Brain.
Another amazing metal one.
Why don't you change your fucking name?
Yeah, to the extended fucking, uh, Trash Future QAnon Anonymous universe.
I'm sorry, but going into public, the public sphere, politics,
with a name like Dick Brain is the equivalent of that fucking dream you have
where you're nude at school or some shit.
Like, what the fuck, man?
Change your fucking name!
It's not hard!
Just don't go by Dick.
Go by Richard.
It's incredibly unusual in Britain to go by Dick if your name is Richard.
This guy wanted it.
He wanted to be Dick Crane.
He wanted it.
There's no other logical conclusion.
That's because the kinds of people who would fight over a party that's a spent political force are the kinds of people with the sheer...
Ball sack to be like, yeah, you know what?
My name is Dick Brain.
My name is Dick Brain!
My name is Dick Brain, and my sis, and my sister.
Vote Dick Brain just flying behind a fucking plane, just, ah.
It's crashing into a hill.
So what happened?
What happened was that basically Batten was like, okay, I promised I'd resign as leader if I lose my European seat, which he did, resigned, and then said, okay, I'm going to run as deputy leader, and then my good friend Dick Brain is going to be leader.
The idea was to keep control of the party.
Again, why you'd want to do that, I have no idea.
Batten was then suspended for his association with Tommy Robinson et al, but Dick Brain stayed on as leader of the party for a little while until he then resigned himself just before Halloween 2019, citing, quote, internal conflict and an inability to prevent a purge of good members from the party, referring to the party's decision to Basically, add an anti-Islam faction in UKIP called Integrity to a list of prescribed organizations.
Integritas, yes.
So, this is the manifesto of Integrity, a party within a party that is the UKIP faction of the weirdo YouTubers.
Um, Integrity was founded in August 2019 after the UKIP NEC undemocratically refused to allow Gerard Batten to put his track record and vision for UKIP before the membership during the leadership election.
UKIP members were not allowed to decide for themselves whether they wanted him as party leader.
So in one stroke, the NEC destroyed party morale, caused an exodus of party members, invalidated the leadership election, and undermined the moral legitimacy of the new leader, Dick Brain.
Wait, but, but, but right now you're trying to sell your fucking party and you just spent a whole paragraph whining.
Integrity will encourage UKIP to broaden its remit beyond Brexit, speak hard-hitting truth to power without trimming, compromising, or bowing to political correctness, fight for freedom of speech, promote patriotism, nationhood, and controlled borders, and challenge the anglophobic globalism of the political class.
So just parentheses just crashing down over here.
Wow.
Wow.
You say you're English.
The elites are like, we hate English.
Actually, we want to get rid of it.
Do you know what we sound like to everyone else in the world?
And actually, they're right.
Yeah.
Re-establish the state's relationship with citizens based on protection and opportunity.
Confront the dirty, dirty smear merchants of the mainstream media.
Ooh, that is very close to literally just drawing that Happy Merchant meme.
Yeah, they spelled it incorrectly.
It's K-I-M-E-R-C-H-E-N-T.
Halt state-permitted child abuse, including the rape of underage girls by Muslim grooming gags, and the promotion of LGBT ideology, especially gender confusion among primary school children.
So I love it.
They're just assuming that there's, like, state-permitted child abuse.
I mean, gender peace.
Insist that we can criticize Islam Uh, support the traditional family, demand the humane slaughter of all food animals, uh, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.
Including expand, expand UKIP's social media reach alongside heavy hitters such as Carl Benjamin, Mark Meechan, and Katie Hopkins.
Oh, Katie Hopkins, heavy hitter!
Yeah, more posting there.
Here's the thing, taking drugs and going to the hospital!
Enough of these gender Muslims, that's what I say.
Didn't Katie Hopkins literally take a hard drug and then get admitted to a hospital and then get deported afterwards and then lie about it?
Wasn't it ketamine or something?
Yeah, in South Africa.
In South Africa?
We need to get her in the party.
We need to be like her!
And she's only famous because she went on The Apprentice.
Here's where the story comes to a close, which is where we got to where we are now.
So, everybody might want to keep a chart of these.
So, UKIP the party is suing former leader Richard Brain, former deputy leader Tony Sharp, and former general secretary and one-time returning officer Jeff Armstrong.
This is from an article about sort of tech and data breach news.
I'll post that in there.
Oh, he's Richard Brain now?
Yeah.
And so, while these lawsuits are ongoing, as several UKIPers argued over the elections, the NEC vote voted to suspend Jeff Armstrong and Dick Brain, and then Dick Brain suspended the entire NEC, and then the NEC was subsequently unsuspended by an NEC member they forgot to suspend, who then re-suspended Dick Brain.
I suspect that fascism is literally attempting to make your history so ridiculous that no one will pay attention.
Yeah.
So everyone is suing each other, everyone's trying to suspend and expel each other, and at this point nobody knows who should have access to what systems at Party HQ.
Everyone has called the police at this point to claim that they all committed different crimes against one another.
This is the British dream, is that like you're just working with a bunch of guys called Dick Brain and Jeff Stretch Armstrong and you're all just calling the cops on each other constantly.
This is what the people of Britain want, they identify with it and that's why they vote for it.
Yeah, that's right.
They want to pull Stretch Armstrong's arms so hard that weird goo starts dripping out from under his armpits and he's unplayable with ever again.
We're very sorry for Jake.
But yeah, you have such beautiful politics.
You know, we have to go to QAnon people for names this funny.
You just have it just laying out there, sitting there.
Can I say, here's the thing.
This is not the high point of ridiculousness of this particular farce.
At this point, everyone is suing and suspending and calling the police on each other.
Mod walls!
And at this point, a mysterious message is sent to everyone's emails, or at least some people's emails, from the address replyatmunge.cockington.com.
Can you explain mung?
Because I know a few British awful words like minge and mung, but I don't know mung.
What's mung?
I mean, a mung is actually a computer.
It's a computer term meaning to manipulate and combine different data tables into one.
It just sounds like minge.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I thought that was also a swear word.
Okay.
No, it almost is, but it's not.
So, here is the text of the email that was sent by the people in the Dick Brain Tommy Robinson Integrity Faction to the people who are trying to kick them out of the party.
Subject, your UKIP emails.
On Wednesday, we legally got all your UKIP emails for years, ones from or to you, which you sent from outside of UKIP to anyone with a UKIP email.
If anyone says we do not have them or did not get them legally, they are lying.
This is why we removed the party secretary.
After two days, our BB team will be reviewing the emails for evidence.
Then the useful parts can find their way anywhere, even to your neighbors.
We know where you are.
Think how much you will lose.
We give you a chance.
By midnight on Friday 18, you must resign from UKIP and all your positions you claim in UKIP, sending the resignation to both membership at ukip.org and action at integritypurple.com, who do not have any connection but can verify for us.
Then we won't do anything.
Once you betrayed the party leaders, you don't deserve pity, but we give you your choice.
Okay, this email sounds like it was written by cats and dogs pretending to be... pretending to be humans to, like, trick them into, like, freeing them or to, like, you know, feed them twice.
An unlikely alliance between cats and dogs to destroy Ukip.
This is a bunch of YouTubers who are fighting to keep their friend club that has not polled above, like, 1% in years.
I love it though.
This is truly the bottom of the barrel.
Yeah.
You have 18 days.
This was dismissed as blackmail by a judge and nothing came of it.
Oh really?
Nothing.
Yeah.
So now, the party was then, has been passed through another several handfuls of different leaders, including one woman named Mountain.
No, come on.
What?
No!
What do you mean?
What's her full name?
And the party, as it has been since the referendum, is now basically almost certainly going to go bankrupt.
Pat Mountain is kind of a slow burn, I'm still...
So we're recovering from that one.
So, having faded from the political limelight, they now just exist to generate strange local
news headlines.
Here's two from the last month.
The first, ex-UKIP councillor claims he was beaten up in a bizarre row over a popular
grass verge.
What, like a hilltop?
In what way is it popular?
What's a grasshopper?
Is it like a patch of grass, or?
Yep, so it was a patch of grass alongside a road that wasn't legally a pavement, and so he decided to plant a bunch of flowers on it, but people kept walking over them, and so he put barbed wire fencing around it, and then it got into a huge row where he was like, pushed a little bit, and then sent pictures of himself smiling, being like, I'm injured, to the local paper.
No part of it is a scam.
It just seems so seedy.
Wait, wait.
Fuck off with the next one.
I just saw the next one.
Please read this to me because this is... Ex-UKIP candidate admits to punching police horse in the face three times during riot after football match.
He capitalized three!
He capitalized three!
To be like, this person did not stop after that second punch squarely landed on that horse's face.
No, he gave that horse the haymaker.
The silhouette of a horse in an interview, and this actor's voice, and it's like, I was terrified.
So I just feel like I love UKIP now because it just it's a party that exists to like vent the frustrations of YouTube people, but also it's the party of people who like wake up every morning and put on a phony neck brace.
It's just that kind of place.
Like a phony embracing like one crutch with like a cloth around the underarm area.
Yeah.
And it's all because of some like weird airline scheme or something.
It's the party of sort of just weirdos who always have 12 different kinds, who think
their investments are diversified because they're in different pyramid schemes.
These guys.
This is the party.
And it was always like this.
It's just that it got propelled to electoral relevance by a combination of the expenses scandal and the right-wing press.
It was always this.
We didn't give Reckless or Dick Brain a good shot, I think.
Give Brain a chance.
But I think that is our story of the strange journey of UKIP.
I don't think Dick Brain is done if he wants.
I think he could come to America and probably do pretty damn good.
Oh for sure.
However.
Conscious of time, I want to hand over to QAnon Anonymous' Jake Rokitansky for the patented show-ending short story.
Yeah, so, I mean, I read through the UKIP episode a little bit, you know, before this, just trying to get some kind of idea of what kind of story I could tell.
And my initial idea, I was talking with Julian, was to do like a lock stock and two smoking barrels sort of like heist.
Um, uh, where, where the Trashfuture team, uh, and the QAnon Anonymous team, uh, you know, partner up to sort of execute this, like, uh, you know, this, uh, what, Guy Ritchie-esque heist and steal the charter.
And then I started writing it, and I was like, man, I don't know jack shit about, like, London heists and stuff, and I don't have time to watch Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels.
I'm like, what is, what is something I am?
Wait, wait, wait, you've never seen it?
No, I've seen, of course I've seen it, but like not recently and I didn't want to re, I didn't have time to revisit.
So I was like, but what is something like recently, like a kind of heist thing that I can immediately gravitate to?
And I was like, oh, I know, Rainbow Six Siege.
The hulking engine of the Renault Twingo sputtered and barked as Alice threw the aggressively styled muscle car into park outside a pair of massively gilded gates.
Hussein peered over a large newspaper.
The front page headline?
Soup debate resurfaces after Caucasian child is served fountain drink filled with broccoli and cheddar stew.
Just outside the car, nailed to the white stone wall next to the large gate, was a golden plaque that read Farage Estate.
Riley was tinkering with a video feed from some sort of remote-controlled RC drone, sizing up the building's interior.
Let's go over the plan one more time.
Yeah, someone already has selected the character that I wanted to be.
All right, assholes, listen up.
Alice pulled a pair of fingerless leather gloves over her hands and began to strap on body armour.
Three simple-looking men in the roomy backseat of the Twingo leaned forward in anticipation.
I'm going to say it one more time for the losers in the back, and that's it.
So if you missed something at this point, it's on you.
It's simple.
We're in the midst of orchestrating a massive coup amongst the UKIP party.
With their leadership in complete disarray, now is the perfect time to take over and restore the party to its original ideals of class consciousness.
But in order to execute a legal takeover, we have to be in possession of the party's charter.
We know it's hidden somewhere in Farage's mansion.
One of the men in the back, with a pensive expression and a mop of golden hair atop his head, seemed confused.
But surely Ukip must have other checks and balances in place.
Seems like giving full control to whoever possesses a slip of paper would be problematic.
Alice, not eager to waste any more time discussing some writer's made-up pseudo-political backstory, interrupted them all.
We have to go in there and steal that charter.
And we want you guys to do it for us.
She looked at the three sheepish men in the back seat.
Jake, Julian, and Travis.
The one with the glasses, Julian, was running his fingers through a sketchy-looking mustache and beard.
He smelled terrible.
I'm ready, let's do this!
Sounds good to me.
How do I invert my aim?
With a slamming of heavy car doors, the team found themselves standing outside a pristine-looking mansion.
The Twingo's engine roared and peeled away.
Comms check.
Loud and clear.
We'll provide overwatch from the parking lot.
Get in, find that charter, and get out.
Finally, someone who was willing to go the extra mile when it came to milsim RPing.
Loud and clear.
Alice's mic chopped in, issuing calm commands into their earpieces.
We'll provide overwatch from the parking lot.
Get in, find that charter, and get out.
We're counting on you.
Before the wards left her lips, Jake had taken off towards one of the compound walls,
unsheathing a large grappling hook, throwing it onto the roof, and scaling up one of the mansion walls.
Travis looked down at his belt.
Grenades?
C4?
Breach charges?
Too many buttons.
He liked his shooters simple, like the original Medal of Honors.
Jake was already near the roof, hanging upside down, taking potshots at someone inside.
Travis could tell by the pips of red mist that Jake was slowly edging himself towards death, and ultimately, Back up.
Breach!
Back up, Julian said calmly.
He unfolded a large plastic breech charge and flattened it across a clearly destructible surface.
Breach, breech, breech!
Julian slammed his finger on the bright red trigger.
Oh!
Behind the soft wooden exterior, a metal barrier had been placed.
Yeah.
Julian looked absolutely stunned those explosives had resulted in a dead end.
Allow me.
Travis stepped forward, wielding a complicated looking device.
He placed it against the metal plate and watched with satisfaction as a hot stream of molten laser cut a Travis-sized hole in the solid steel.
Travis and Julian stacked up, moving through the house, stepping over debris, hearing a crunch beneath their steel-toed boots.
Alice blipped into their comms.
Two contacts.
First one.
Ka-choo!
A spray of buckshot went rippling past the guys' heads.
Julian and Travis hugged a wall.
Through a small hole in the wall where the shot came from, Julian could see a small pair of pajama-feet wiggling.
The shoes were little curly booties with tassels on the end.
Meanwhile, Jake stormed through the upstairs hallway, clearing each room one by one.
He aimed his M4 wildly and scooted into a hallway down a flight of stairs.
He burst into a room where Julian and Travis were standing triumphantly over a fallen pair of guards.
Huddled in the corner, wearing his sleepy, nighttime jammies, was none other than Nigel Farage.
His face was covered with tears and snot.
Please!
Oh!
Don't kill me!
Jake stepped forward and lowered his rifle.
Don't worry.
We're not here to kill you.
A bullet flew out of nowhere, entering Jake's soft, misshaped skull and exiting through his cheek.
He collapsed to the ground.
Another shot rang out, piercing Travis in the neck.
He dropped to the floor without so much as a sigh.
Before Julian could process what was happening, he found his neck completely twisted backwards, looking directly into Alice's cold, dead eyes.
With an unsettling snap, he crumpled to the ground as well.
Hussein and Riley appeared behind Alice, each holding a fully kitted out sniper rifle, the barrel smoldering.
Nigel Farage began to crawl backwards, his hands up in defense.
Are you... are you here to... save me?
We're here for the Charter.
Where is it?
Nigel looked down at the ground.
What did you kill them?
Didn't want them guessing any ideas.
dead bodies of Jake, Julian, and Travis.
She shrugged.
Didn't want them guessing any ideas.
Also, less witnesses.
Nigel looked down at his trousers.
A large pool of urine had begun to form within them.
Well, it's about time someone came to rid me of it.
At least you youngsters seem passionate about it.
I flew a goddamn plane into the ground for this party.
Nearly killed myself.
Riley was getting impatient.
Where's the charter, Farage?
Farage nodded and tried to gesture with his hand.
It is where my loyalty has always remained.
In the house.
First floor?
Inside of the... With a pleasant smile on his face, Nigel Farage fell asleep, mid-sentence.
More urine trickled down his leg.
Alice put her head in her hands.
The entire Trash Future Bravo team began tearing the house apart, looking for the Charter.
Riley poured through linen closets and under beds.
Hussein dug behind dozens of cans of soup in the pantry, hoping to maybe find a flavor worth taking home with him.
Milo was nowhere to be seen.
Alice pulled the fingernails off of her kills and attached them to a stylish-looking necklace casually hanging around her neck.
Oh shit!
Riley cried out.
The three rendezvoused in the middle of the living room, where Riley was holding up a large national front flag.
The three looked at it, not surprised.
Let's burn it.
Alice said.
She grabbed the flag out of Riley's hand and dragged it over to a fireplace, where a roaring fire happened to have remained uninterrupted by the previous melee.
She tossed it in the flames, watching it burn.
All of a sudden, a lightbulb went off in Riley's head.
Where my loyalty has always remained.
Wait, it's the flag!
The charter is the flag!
He raced over to the fire and pulled out the smoldering piece of cloth.
He grabbed a nearby carafe filled with lemon water and poured it over the burning edges.
Look, look!"
Riley exclaimed, where a few droplets of water had spilled on the body of the flag.
A couple letters began to appear.
Of course, invisible ink!
Quickly, more water!
Thinking quickly, he mustered up as much saliva as he could in his mouth and began to spit onto the flag.
Both Alice and Hussein brushed over and also began spitting on the flag.
The letters of the charter began to fade in.
Hussein read them aloud.
Hear ye, hear ye.
Those who possess the party's first character assume control of said party's leadership and take possession of the founding member, Alan Skid's wooden train collection.
Alice look bored.
After seeing that their charter is written on a fucking NF flag, I don't really feel like putting in the time and energy into all the rebranding we're going to have to do.
Fun day, though.
Riley and Hussein nodded.
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
Hussein piped up.
And it was nice to get rid of the QAnon guys.
Although, I do feel a little bad about Travis.
He has a daughter, you know.
They all nodded solemnly before stepping through the rubble and out into the sunlight.
Alice, Riley, and Hussein hopped into the threatening-looking Twingo once again,
and peeled off into the night.
Game Game Over.
Game Game Over.
You and your new animals.
Trash Future.
Bye!
Thanks for listening to another episode of the QAnon Anonymous podcast.
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I'm Ben Garrison, so don't even bother drawing anyone in the rafters.
You can join us on Twitch, where we stream episode premieres, curated story nights, and a live rabbit hole descending with the QAnon Anonymous crew.
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Great times, the infamous Lost episodes, where you can see me as a fully-pilled man, and even music from our incredible soundtrack done by amazing musician Nick Sena.
Listener, until next week... May the deep fish bless you.
And keep you.
It's not a conspiracy, it's fact.
And now, today's Auto-Cue.
What's up, guys?
My name is Dylan Wheeler from Educating Liberals, and last night, Twitter, Jack Dorsey, deleted my account permanently, an account that I had worked on for over three years and had over half a million followers on.
And you know what?
That little coward would not even give me a reason why.
What was it, Jack?
Was it my tweets on back scenes?
Bill Gates?
5G?
You know what?
Save your breath.
Guys, I have no problem being the face of a class-action lawsuit against Jack Dorsey, Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, Google, all these corrupt social media tech giants.
We're breaking the law, actually, because they really are.
Under Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act, it says that they are immune to lawsuits because they are neutral platforms, but they are no longer acting as neutral platforms.
They are acting as publishers.
For deciding what content is allowed and what is not allowed.
Therefore, their immunity should be stripped and they should be held liable to lawsuits.
That means the child porn that they allow, the death threats that they allow, the actual death videos, ISIS videos that they allow on their platform, they should be sued for all that and they should be held accountable.
So like I said, we got any good lawyers out there, I have no problem being the face and leading the charge against these people because they're corrupt, they're evil, they're sick and this needs to end.
