QAA - Premium Episode 53: Moloch (Sample) Aired: 2019-12-12 Duration: 09:32 === Move-In Day (09:26) === [00:00:00] I mean this is a story of a young family and moving into a new house and I don't know I [00:00:06] think it's a nice little slice of life and I really hope you guys like it. [00:00:09] Move-in Day Last one to put their box in their bedroom is a rotten egg! [00:00:23] The sounds of excited footsteps pittered across the old wood floors. [00:00:27] Hilary plumped a box down on the grand kitchen counter and wiped the sweat from her forehead, grinning ear to ear. [00:00:32] She couldn't believe it. [00:00:34] After everything her and Bill, and Chelsea for that matter, had been through, they had finally made it. [00:00:40] The White House. [00:00:43] It was almost too surreal. [00:00:44] Hilary and her husband had been dreaming about this day for what felt like decades, and yet, it had all become theirs so quickly. [00:00:50] Or at least it felt that way, as she stood watching Chelsea trample up the old staircase, clutching a worn cardboard box, overflowing with stuffed animals and school notebooks. [00:01:00] I wonder if Lincoln ever leaned on this very counter, dissecting the evils of slavery and how to stop it, Hillary thought, resting her elbows on the counter and feeling a deep sense of love and admiration for African Americans. [00:01:14] I can't believe you guys got most of the boxes already. [00:01:16] I feel like a toad. [00:01:20] His lines always are going to be a fucking problem for me. [00:01:23] I'm sorry. [00:01:25] I can't believe you guys got most of the boxes already. [00:01:27] I feel like a toad. [00:01:29] Bill sauntered into the room, chuckling to himself. [00:01:32] He took pause to notice his strong wife, her sleeves rolled up and sporting a broken in pair of Levi's jeans. [00:01:38] What? [00:01:38] What?" Hillary asked playfully. [00:01:40] Bill was always handsome. [00:01:42] But now that he was the President of the United States, there was something extra about him. [00:01:46] He pulled her in for a quick warm embrace. [00:01:48] You're the only woman I want to look at for the rest of my life. [00:01:53] The words nearly took her breath away, but only because she knew Bill meant it. [00:01:57] In the decades they'd been together, he had never so much as even glanced at another woman. [00:02:01] Her friends were always teasing her that she'd married some goody-two-shoes church boy. [00:02:06] They weren't wrong. [00:02:07] Bill gave her a final squeeze and strained his tie. [00:02:10] I gotta go give a press conference on the lawn. [00:02:12] Are you two gonna be alright by yourselves? [00:02:14] Hillary joked with him. [00:02:16] Well, I'm not so sure. [00:02:17] It's an old house. [00:02:19] Bill cocked his eyebrows. [00:02:20] You don't think it's haunted, do you? [00:02:22] Hillary took a step back and rested her elbows behind her on the kitchen counter once again only with the ghosts of [00:02:27] Liberty and equality She held a serious look for a second before the two of them [00:02:32] cracked and smiled and laughed together Today was a good day Hillary said she gave bill one last [00:02:38] squeeze before he exited through the kitchen door and disappeared [00:02:41] Hillary stood alone in the kitchen for a moment taking it all in [00:02:48] Chelsea's voice rang through the empty mansion Hillary instinctively took off running towards the sound of her [00:02:52] daughter's voice She sprinted down a long hallway, and as she turned the corner, she saw Chelsea, standing about a hundred feet away, frozen, looking at something just out of Hillary's line of sight. [00:03:04] Hillary, concerned, slowed a bit, and continued to walk briskly towards Chelsea, closer, and closer. [00:03:13] When she was within feet of Chelsea, she saw it. [00:03:17] Socks the cat was urinating onto an ornate, priceless carpet in the center of the Jefferson living room. [00:03:25] Both Chelsea and Hillary stood frozen watching in horror. [00:03:28] Socks finished his business, licked his paws, and bounded off into the depths of the house. [00:03:33] There was a thick silence. [00:03:35] Hillary and Chelsea burst out laughing. [00:03:38] I'll get the spray, Chelsea quipped. [00:03:40] She took off towards the kitchen before pausing and turning back towards her mom. [00:03:43] Where is the spray? [00:03:45] Hilary thought for a second. [00:03:47] I have no idea. [00:03:49] The two sat scrubbing the expensive carpet. [00:03:52] Great, Hilary thought. [00:03:53] Here have walked all the greats. [00:03:55] Lincoln, Kennedy, FDR. [00:03:57] And here I am, my first day on the job, and my cat pees on it. [00:04:02] It's not like him. [00:04:04] What? [00:04:05] Hillary said, snapping to. [00:04:07] He doesn't have accidents. [00:04:08] Socks. [00:04:09] He didn't have one back at home except when he was little. [00:04:12] Chelsea seemed a bit concerned. [00:04:14] Oh don't worry honey, I'm sure he's just nervous, Hillary said, putting her arm gently around Chelsea's shoulder. [00:04:18] It's a new house. [00:04:20] Chelsea nodded. [00:04:21] It's a big new house. [00:04:23] The two sat cross-legged on the floor staring at the damp spot on the carpet. [00:04:27] SLAM! [00:04:28] The sound of a door banging shut echoed from somewhere within the house. [00:04:32] The noise startled both Hilary and Chelsea. [00:04:34] They squeezed each other a little tighter. [00:04:37] Slowly, they picked themselves up off the floor and cautiously made their way through the hallways looking for the source of the sound. [00:04:44] We have to make sure Socks isn't trapped! [00:04:46] Chelsea yelled, taking off up one of the staircases. [00:04:49] I'll search upstairs! [00:04:51] Hillary combed through the lower floor. [00:04:53] She lingered in one of the many libraries. [00:04:55] She noticed a small notebook was laying on the blue carpet. [00:04:58] She glanced up and saw an empty sliver in one of the cases from which it must have fallen. [00:05:03] She carefully picked the book up and began to comb through the pages. [00:05:07] It was a diary of some sort. [00:05:08] Hillary read aloud. [00:05:10] March 11th, 1933. [00:05:13] As I wander these sacred grounds, I picture a world where all human beings, not just men, are created equal. [00:05:20] The first week in this magnificent palace of freedom has humbled me considerably. [00:05:25] Within these walls I hope to unite the world at large. [00:05:27] Why fight when we can care for one another? [00:05:30] Questions like these have moved me to begin to draft what I believe will be wildly progressive policies. [00:05:36] Policies that aren't rife with loopholes in the hopes that the most fortunate of us will willingly support the less. [00:05:44] Today was a good day. [00:05:47] Signed, FDR. [00:05:50] A single tear rolled down Hillary's cheek. [00:05:53] It was as if she was reading her own diary. [00:05:56] She skimmed a couple of entries ahead, and as she read aloud, Hillary's expression seemed to shift to one of horror. [00:06:03] April 2nd, 1933. [00:06:07] Something wicked within me grows. [00:06:09] Faint at first, but stronger every day. [00:06:13] I am filled with wild paranoia. [00:06:16] Our enemies grow strong. [00:06:18] With the discovery of nuclear fission, my fears increase. [00:06:21] I worry of a weapon capable of crippling our nation with a single blow. [00:06:25] We must be prepared. [00:06:28] Prepared to defend ourselves. [00:06:30] Prepared to retaliate. [00:06:32] Prepared to strike first. [00:06:34] Without warning, Hillary clasped the diary closed and quickly put it down. [00:06:38] She stared at it for a beat as it sat on the desk, glaring back at her. [00:06:44] Hillary jumped about five feet in the air. [00:06:46] What is it? [00:06:47] She called out. [00:06:48] You should come see this! [00:06:50] Chelsea's tiny voice echoed from somewhere within the house. [00:06:53] Hillary took one last look at the journal, then exited from the downstairs library and joined Chelsea [00:06:58] in an adjacent hallway. [00:07:00] She was standing in front of a wooden door at the end of a corridor. [00:07:03] Look! [00:07:05] Chelsea pointed to a small golden plaque next to the door. [00:07:08] For no reason should this door be opened at any time. [00:07:13] There is an evil here. [00:07:15] It lives in the basement. [00:07:17] Signed George H.W. [00:07:18] Bush. [00:07:21] Chelsea looked over at her mother, her eyes wide. [00:07:24] Cool! [00:07:26] Hillary put her hand over her head. [00:07:28] She couldn't help but smile. [00:07:29] Chelsea was a good kid. [00:07:31] Smart and brave. [00:07:32] Hillary knew that one day, Chelsea, like her parents, would become an amazing lawyer, politician, maybe even president. [00:07:40] Hillary slowly placed her hand on the doorknob and jiggled the handle. [00:07:43] Locked! [00:07:45] She smiled at Chelsea, a little relieved. [00:07:48] They both were. [00:07:49] Don't you two look white as a hammock in July? [00:07:50] Bill was just getting home. A swamp of secret service agents flooded into the kitchen and then seemingly vanished [00:07:56] into thin air. [00:07:56] Bill looked energized. [00:07:58] Don't you two look white as a hammock in July. What have you been getting into? [00:08:02] Hillary looked down a little embarrassed. She had let herself get caught up in the fright. Chelsea blurted out, [00:08:08] Socks peed on the carpet! [00:08:11] Chelsea! [00:08:12] Hillary crowed. [00:08:13] She glanced back at Bill. [00:08:15] It's true. [00:08:15] Socks peed on Mary Todd Lincoln's rug. [00:08:17] She kissed Bill on the cheek. [00:08:19] How was the press conference? [00:08:21] Bill lit up. [00:08:22] Fantastic. [00:08:23] I started laying the groundwork to announce the private prison ban. [00:08:26] I talked about lighter sentences and community programs for non-violent drug-related crimes. [00:08:30] I mean, they seemed to respond really well. [00:08:33] Chelsea spoke up again. [00:08:35] We also found a scary door. [00:08:37] It said that there's evil inside. [00:08:40] Bill glanced over at Hillary, who reluctantly nodded sheepishly. [00:08:44] Well, okay, then show me. [00:08:46] The three stood in front of the door, Bill tracing his fingers around the edge of the doorway. [00:08:50] It's locked up tight, alright. [00:08:52] And then he joked, maybe that's where they keep the nuclear warheads. [00:08:56] Everyone laughed nervously. [00:08:57] Come on, I'm beat. [00:08:58] We can check it out in the morning. [00:08:59] There's gotta be some sort of presidential key around here somewhere. [00:09:04] Later that night, all three slept lightly. [00:09:10] You have been listening to a sample of a premium episode of QAnon Anonymous. === Patreon Subscription Request (00:21) === [00:09:14] We don't run any advertising on the show, and we'd like to keep it that way. [00:09:19] For five bucks a month, you'll get access to this episode, a new one each week, and our entire library of premium episodes. [00:09:26] So head on over to patreon.com slash QAnonAnonymous and subscribe. [00:09:30] Thank you. [00:09:31] Thanks. [00:09:32] I love you.