Premium Episode 47: Billy Meier & the Plejaran Aliens (Sample)
Billy Meier's time-traveling, bounty-hunting, Saddam-Hussein-meeting, off-world-safari-taking adventures. Tumble down the rabbit hole with our favorite Jake and meet a race of aliens called the Plejarans. Get to know their beamships, telepathic friendships and terrible relationship advice. A beautiful mind produces a beautiful episode. Refined listeners rejoice.
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Welcome, listener, to the 47th premium chapter of the QAnon Anonymous podcast, the Billy Meyer episode.
As always, we're your hosts, Jake Brokatansky, Julian Field, and Travis View.
Now, The story of Billy Meyer is one of my favorite conspiracy adjacent tales of all time.
Putting his little sleeping bag down, making a little nest.
Cozy.
Like I said, the story of Billy Meyer is one of my favorite conspiracy adjacent tales of all time.
It's got a likable protagonist.
It's got flying saucers, tons of videos and pictures, and even possibly Biblical alien fornication.
Now, there's nothing that will excite a podcast audience more than pictures and videos.
You know, being a purely visual medium, both of those are always fantastic.
Oh, man.
Well, like the entire episode that I've prepared relies pretty heavily on the videos and pictures.
No, I'm just kidding.
You'll still enjoy it, I think.
Yeah.
But you can follow along.
All you have to do is Google Billy Meyer beam ships.
You can see the pictures.
You can see the videos.
It's going to be great.
Well, you know what?
They're listening, which is because you Google something doesn't take you, you know, your podcast off or whatever.
It's true.
What if they're doing dishes?
That's driving.
What if they're jacking off, Jake?
Well, then they should definitely be looking at videos and pics.
I actually don't think it's that big a stretch to think that our audience jacks off to UFOs.
Shut up.
That's fucking right, dear listeners.
Secure those tinfoil hats to those thick, ugly melons of yours, because to everyone's chagrin, the reins of the podcast have been handed over into my sweaty, chocolate-stained palms.
That's... Mean Jake is a new Jake.
This is a new... This is no nicotine for more than a month now, Jake.
Yeah, but you're out the woods now.
You should be just normal and happy in your life.
No, he's happy.
He's assertive.
Yeah, I'm happy.
He knows what he wants.
I'm happy.
I've settled in.
He wants to insult the audience.
I've become an edgelord now.
I've really settled into the... Nice.
Yeah, he's moving his body around a little bit like a chicken or a pigeon would kind of... Too much energy.
...put their head back and forth.
It's interesting.
It's nice, though.
Just clucking for peanut shells.
Okay.
Without further ado, I present... Billy Meier.
Billy Meier.
Edward Albert Meyer was born in 1937 in the town of Bulach in the Zürcher Unterland of Switzerland.
How do I?
I don't know.
Did you look it up?
That sounds pretty good.
Fuck, okay.
Yeah.
He was one of four children born to two loving parents and at five years old he claims he met an elderly man out in the woods near his home named Svath.
Now, most of us would find this somewhat troubling.
This is the origin of his beliefs?
You have an older man and a young boy out in the woods alone together.
Some might say a recipe for disaster.
However, not to worry, because Svath was actually a Palladian, a, quote, collective of multidimensional spirit beings from the Pleiades star system, end quote.
The group's mission is to, quote, assist humanity with the process of spiritual transformation.
And, of course, molest small boys.
Maybe.
No, there's no claims of that in my research that I did.
I don't want to muck up your beautiful story.
Now, apparently, myths of Pleiadians circulated long before Meyer ever came into the picture.
Cherokee legends teach that Native Americans originated long ago in the Pleiades and assert that indigenous people on Earth are as star seeds with a
mission of bringing light and knowledge.
The Navajo call the Pleiadean star cluster the, quote, sparkling suns, and the Iroquois petition
the constellation for happiness. The Lakota Dakota people say their ancestors are from the Pleiades.
So wait, so we were sent to Earth as star seed?
Kind of.
So we're like alien-esque... Sort of.
Alien-cum, basically, that traveled through space.
Sort of, yeah.
Okay.
Wasn't it a special elect, these starseeds?
Like, not everyone's a starseed.
No, it's not.
I mean, the thing is... Already making a hierarchy, huh?
The Pleiadians are a human race, and we'll get to this later, but there are allegedly many human races of aliens that inhabit the galaxy.
So we are a descendant.
It's a little bit Prometheus-y.
We're kind of a descendant of them.
But they can shoot ropes so hard that they exit the orbit of their own planet and end up on Earth.
I was gonna make a follow-up, but I imagined that image and I started laughing, because it's funny.
According to the Wikia, a complete guide to aliens, the Palladians have a distinctive Nordic or Scandinavian appearance.
Sound familiar?
They have 700 year lifespans, and while they are, in evolutionary terms, still a work in progress, they are far more emotionally and spiritually developed than Earth humans.
Yeah.
I mean, this is, um, this is sounding a lot like, uh, an Aryan super race.
Yeah, you know, well... Yeah, there are similarities.
The Perial giants of, uh, of that, uh, northernmost point.
Okay, so back to the main event.
I researched this just deep enough to make sure it tracked with whatever bullshit that I pile into this frantic document, so bear with me.
Okay, so the story goes like this.
Billy Meyer goes out into the woods, and he's met by this old white alien named Svath.
Now, Svath looks human, and so Billy is somewhat confused.
The two communicate telepathically.
Oh, so that's how he realizes, like, this guy's an alien because he's talking in my mind.
Exactly.
They communicate telepathically, and Billy is invited aboard what Svath calls his beam ship.
This is what they call their flying saucers.
They call them beam ships, which is fucking tight.
The two spark a friendship.
Billy describes Svath as somewhat of an early educator.
I'd say in and of itself my childhood was very good and very pleasant for me.
I learned very much on the one hand because of my parents and on the other hand because of an extraterrestrial called Svath whom I got to know in 1942.
It's beautiful stuff.
Yeah.
My parents, very nice, raised me very well.
Also, alien named Svath from the woods.
Now, yeah, one might have you think that having a secret alien friend
would make you the coolest kid in Swiss elementary school.
But unfortunately, this wasn't the case for Billy.
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