Dennis Prager Show - Is Marriage Really Work?
Aired: 2026-04-22
Duration: 43:42


=== Marriage Is Work (14:53) ===

[00:00:00]  On today's episode of Timeless Wisdom.
[00:00:03]  Thank you, Dr. Prager.
[00:00:05]  Your wisdom and your sage advice that I have been listening to for months and months and years.
[00:00:12]  Finally, today, I let you know how much I appreciate you.
[00:00:15]  Well, that's very kind.
[00:00:16]  Really, it touches me.
[00:00:17]  Thank you.
[00:00:19]  By the way, for the record, I'm not a doctor.
[00:00:22]  Just for the record.
[00:00:23]  That's coming up on Timeless Wisdom with Dennis Prager.
[00:00:26]  We live in a time where the moment you question the narrative, you're told to stop thinking and start complying.
[00:00:31]  That's why what Angel is doing matters.
[00:00:34]  With eye opening documentaries like Thank You, Dr. Fauci, and RFK Legacy, Angel is willing to explore the issues others avoid.
[00:00:42]  In a culture shaped by gatekeepers, Angel offers something rare, a platform for truth seeking storytelling that isn't constrained by fear or conformity.
[00:00:50]  Go to angel.comslash Prager, join the Angel Guild, and watch these films today.
[00:00:57]  Welcome to Timeless Wisdom with Dennis Prager.
[00:01:00]  Hear thousands of hours of Dennis's lectures, courses, and classic radio programs.
[00:01:05]  And to purchase Dennis Prager's Rational Bibles, go to DennisPrager.com.
[00:01:12]  Well, it's Wednesday, so it's the time for the male female hour, the most honest talk I am aware of about men and women.
[00:01:18]  And part of the reason is I'm not inhibited about talking about any aspect of male female relations.
[00:01:24]  And I am neither a fan of men or a fan of women.
[00:01:29]  I don't even understand that.
[00:01:34]  I understand being a fan of good people, male or female.
[00:01:39]  I truly am not a man fan, even though I'm a man.
[00:01:43]  And I'm truly not a woman fan, even though I'm a man.
[00:01:48]  I don't know what there is to root for in either case.
[00:01:54]  Terrific people exist of either sex, and awful people exist of either sex.
[00:01:59]  And there are only two sexes, for the record.
[00:02:04]  Even if you redefine sex as gender.
[00:02:11]  Well, my friends, I have a new topic for you today.
[00:02:15]  All of my life, from before I ever got married, I heard the following phrase marriage is work.
[00:02:29]  Or marriage takes work.
[00:02:31]  Right?
[00:02:32]  The same thing, correct?
[00:02:33]  Yeah, marriage takes work.
[00:02:38]  So, this is one of those male female hours where.
[00:02:42]  You really provide much of the content.
[00:02:47]  Call in now.
[00:02:48]  If you agree that marriage is work, please call in.
[00:02:54]  Or if you have any reaction to the phrase, 1 8 Prager 776 877 243 776.
[00:03:08]  When I heard it before I ever got married, I always wanted to be prepared for life and not have unrealistic, quote unquote, romantic, unquote, expectations.
[00:03:24]  And I will just say, if I'd have asked my parents, who were married 69 years together for 73, if I'd have asked them, would you characterize marriage as work?
[00:03:42]  I never posed the question to them, so I can't tell you for certain, but I'm pretty sure they would have said no.
[00:03:51]  I mean, look, there is nothing in life that you engage in that doesn't take work.
[00:03:59]  So, in that sense, you might as well say staying single takes work.
[00:04:06]  Right?
[00:04:09]  So, the reason I'm raising it is I had a.
[00:04:15]  A friend when he was a bachelor, and he was a bachelor through his 30s.
[00:04:22]  Very good looking guy, very charismatic, and still is.
[00:04:29]  Still charismatic and obviously older.
[00:04:32]  Still a good looking guy.
[00:04:34]  He eventually got married, had two children, and then divorced.
[00:04:39]  But I remember him saying to me, Dennis, everybody tells me marriage is work.
[00:04:47]  Why would I want to get married?
[00:04:48]  If marriage is work, I work all day.
[00:04:53]  I don't want to come home and work.
[00:04:55]  I'll never forget his arguing that.
[00:05:00]  I'll continue in a moment.
[00:05:01]  This episode of Timeless Wisdom will continue right after this.
[00:05:07]  We live in a time where the moment you question the narrative, you're told to stop thinking and start complying.
[00:05:12]  That's why what Angel is doing matters.
[00:05:15]  With eye opening documentaries like Thank You, Dr. Fauci, and RFK Legacy.
[00:05:20]  Angel is willing to explore the issues others avoid.
[00:05:23]  In a culture shaped by gatekeepers, Angel offers something rare, a platform for truth seeking storytelling that isn't constrained by fear or conformity.
[00:05:31]  Go to angel.comslash Prager, join the Angel Guild, and watch these films today.
[00:05:40]  Now, back to more of Dennis Prager's Timeless Wisdom.
[00:05:47]  Hi, everybody.
[00:05:48]  Dennis Prager here, male-female hour.
[00:05:51]  I'm addressing the issue, and I'm relying on your calling and philosophizing about it.
[00:05:59]  The statement: oh, well, religion, it takes a lot of work.
[00:06:06]  Not religion, sorry.
[00:06:08]  I have a reason that I said religion, but I will or will not get to that later.
[00:06:14]  Marriage takes work.
[00:06:15]  Marriage is work.
[00:06:16]  Marriage takes work.
[00:06:17]  So I had this bachelor friend who was very popular among women.
[00:06:24]  And he said to me, I got married years before he did.
[00:06:31]  And he said to me frequently, he said, Dennis, everybody who's married, or virtually everybody, says to me, Marriage is work.
[00:06:39]  Well, I work all day.
[00:06:40]  I don't want to come home and work.
[00:06:43]  I'll never forget his saying that.
[00:06:45]  And it was not a.
[00:06:47]  Not a ridiculous argument.
[00:06:50]  I work at the office and now I come home and I work again.
[00:06:57]  What do you say to the guy?
[00:06:58]  Now, so there is, of course, there are any number, not is, are, any number of responses.
[00:07:09]  First of all, everything takes work.
[00:07:14]  Everything, I mean, video games don't take work.
[00:07:20]  It's just play.
[00:07:20]  I get it.
[00:07:24]  And by the way, that is what a fair number of apparently young men are opting to do play video games and not work at marriage.
[00:07:37]  And same with women.
[00:07:38]  It's not video games, whatever it is for them.
[00:07:41]  I don't know, taking care of a pet or engaging in some social cause.
[00:07:49]  I don't know, whatever it might be.
[00:07:53]  So, one answer to marriage takes work is what doesn't take work?
[00:08:00]  Seriously, what doesn't?
[00:08:03]  Work takes work.
[00:08:05]  And by the way, is that invalidate work because it is work?
[00:08:15]  There are people I imagine would say it takes too much work.
[00:08:19]  My job takes too much work.
[00:08:21]  Okay, take another job.
[00:08:25]  But it would be an odd thing for somebody to say, you know, work takes work.
[00:08:31]  Right?
[00:08:34]  Yes, work takes work.
[00:08:35]  That's why it's called work.
[00:08:38]  But that doesn't invalidate the great use of work in people's lives.
[00:08:45]  For most people, work is a good thing.
[00:08:48]  By the way, work doesn't necessarily mean outside of the house, taking care of a house is a hell of a lot of work, too.
[00:08:57]  I mean, what doesn't take work?
[00:09:03]  Sports takes an incredible amount of work.
[00:09:08]  How many people who finally make it to the major leagues, the National Hockey League, the National Football League, Major League Baseball, NFL, NBA, how many people who finally get there go, I'm sorry, it's too much work.
[00:09:24]  I'm leaving.
[00:09:30]  So, even on the face of it, the comment, marriage takes work, the real answer is, so what?
[00:09:42]  I have other thoughts on this, obviously, but that hardly invalidates marriage as a spectacularly good option for your life.
[00:09:54]  Let us say it does take work.
[00:09:55]  Fine.
[00:09:56]  Let us even say it does.
[00:09:59]  What good thing in life?
[00:10:02]  Name one that doesn't take work.
[00:10:08]  But that, for whatever reason, work taking work, that's okay.
[00:10:14]  Children take a lot of work.
[00:10:19]  And if it works out, if your kid turns out to be a decent kid, well, really, a decent adult, it was worth it.
[00:10:34]  Those who sow in tears will reap in joy, famous biblical phrase.
[00:10:43]  So the comment does not invalidate marriage.
[00:10:49]  Everything takes work.
[00:10:51]  But I have another position as well.
[00:10:56]  Within the parameters of what work means, the ideal I will acknowledge.
[00:11:04]  Is that work that marriage not take that much work?
[00:11:14]  My friends from many years ago, the bachelor who said, You know, I work all day, I don't want to come home and work again.
[00:11:21]  It was not a silly comment.
[00:11:27]  If your marriage is primarily work, I salute you for engaging in that work, I commend you, I praise you.
[00:11:40]  But I don't think that that is what marriage ideally is about.
[00:11:46]  It certainly is about working on oneself.
[00:11:52]  That's true.
[00:11:57]  The human being finds it easier not to live with someone than to live with someone.
[00:12:05]  I'm just talking about on the.
[00:12:09]  Fulfilling what one wants, aspect, not on the ultimate happiness aspect.
[00:12:15]  All right, let me go to your calls here.
[00:12:18]  Let's see.
[00:12:21]  Okay.
[00:12:25]  Well, all right.
[00:12:31]  Bob in Pasadena, California.
[00:12:33]  Hello.
[00:12:35]  Hello, Dennis.
[00:12:36]  Hi.
[00:12:38]  How are you?
[00:12:38]  Well.
[00:12:40]  Good.
[00:12:41]  Glad to hear it.
[00:12:42]  Thanks for your show and your wisdom.
[00:12:43]  Thank you.
[00:12:46]  So, anything you care about takes work, and I think the amount of care will determine the amount of work you put into it.
[00:12:59]  My particular case, you know, the marriage had a lot of ups and downs.
[00:13:03]  We hung in there, and now we're, you know, 42 years later, rewarded with the benefit of the work and the patience.
[00:13:12]  And what is the reward?
[00:13:17]  We still have each other, and we're closer than we were because we got through the years of pride and selfishness and became servants to each other.
[00:13:29]  I asked my uncle one time, Why is your marriage so strong with my aunt?
[00:13:34]  And he said, I find out what she wants and I insist on it.
[00:13:38]  And he could say that because she felt the same way about him.
[00:13:42]  There was a lot of humility and lack of pride in that relationship.
[00:13:47]  So I try to remember that.
[00:13:48]  I heard that when I was much younger.
[00:13:50]  It's not easy, but good words of wisdom.
[00:13:56]  What percentage of your year?
[00:13:59]  Is marriage wise easy and what percentage is hard work?
[00:14:06]  Prior to a life changing accident in our relationship, I would say it was 50 50.
[00:14:17]  But due to my wife's current situation, it's humbled me, it's drawn us closer together, it's put things in perspective, what's really important.
[00:14:29]  And so now it's.
[00:14:34]  It's hard work, but the relationship couldn't be closer.
[00:14:38]  Is it still 50 50 over the course of a year?
[00:14:42]  No way.
[00:14:43]  Nope.
[00:14:44]  It's 90% closer and easier.
[00:14:51]  Okay.
[00:14:51]  So it comes more natural.
[00:14:53]  All right.

=== Pursuing Happiness Takes Effort (14:49) ===

[00:14:54]  Well, that's what I obviously was hoping to hear.
[00:15:02]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:15:08]  It's an interesting question.
[00:15:15]  I've been divorced, and I'm very happily married.
[00:15:18]  We're together 20 years.
[00:15:21]  So I really know what exists in marriage.
[00:15:29]  Believe me, I know.
[00:15:34]  All things considered, easy at home is better than difficult at home.
[00:15:49]  Which I admit is not a particularly profound insight.
[00:16:00]  So I'm torn on the issue.
[00:16:02]  How much work as such should it take?
[00:16:06]  Oh, I think it's worth it.
[00:16:09]  But ideally, it is an easier marriage, better than one that has to be worked at.
[00:16:22]  Back in a moment.
[00:16:23]  This episode of Timeless Wisdom will continue right after this.
[00:16:29]  We live in a time where the moment you question the narrative, you're told to stop thinking and start complying.
[00:16:34]  That's why what Angel is doing matters.
[00:16:37]  With eye opening documentaries like Thank You, Dr. Fauci, and RFK Legacy, Angel is willing to explore the issues others avoid.
[00:16:45]  In a culture shaped by gatekeepers, Angel offers something rare a platform for truth seeking storytelling that isn't constrained by fear or conformity.
[00:16:53]  Go to angel.comslash Prager, join the Angel Guild, and watch these films today.
[00:17:02]  Now, back to more of Dennis Prager's Timeless Wisdom.
[00:17:10]  So, this is the male female hour.
[00:17:12]  I'm posing an interesting question.
[00:17:16]  The phrase marriage is work, or marriage takes work.
[00:17:22]  So, what do you make of it?
[00:17:26]  And what do you answer a person who doesn't want to get married?
[00:17:31]  They say, you know, everybody who gets married says it takes work.
[00:17:36]  So, I gave an answer.
[00:17:38]  Can you name me anything worthwhile in life that doesn't take work?
[00:17:43]  But admittedly, I think, having been in both types of marriages, that marriages that don't take a lot of work and are good marriages, that's the ideal.
[00:18:04]  Obviously, you have to be aware at all times of my duties as a husband, my duties as a wife.
[00:18:16]  How can I make life easier for my spouse?
[00:18:22]  I mean, that's all accurate.
[00:18:26]  But I think to see marriage as primarily work, while I would still defend marriage, and hats off to those of you who engage in it, I think the ideal is that its primary characteristic would not be work.
[00:18:45]  Although, for many people, it is work.
[00:18:48]  Until it's less work, like the caller earlier.
[00:18:52]  It went from 50% work, 50% not work, to what was it, 90% not work.
[00:19:01]  Okay.
[00:19:04]  As usual, I love hearing from you on these matters.
[00:19:09]  Okay, let's see here.
[00:19:13]  Joshua in Sacramento, California.
[00:19:15]  Hello.
[00:19:17]  Hey, how are you doing?
[00:19:18]  Well.
[00:19:19]  So, good.
[00:19:22]  I was thinking the benefits outweigh any efforts you put into your marriage.
[00:19:30]  Period.
[00:19:32]  So, you're a lazy man if you think it's not worth you trying to have common ground with your spouse, your wife.
[00:19:45]  So, this is.
[00:19:48]  Of course, after you've made a marriage vow.
[00:19:51]  So, this is not dating.
[00:19:52]  This is when you're in a committed relationship.
[00:19:56]  If it's before, I still think it's the same thought process, but the difference is you can make a choice if it's not worth it for you.
[00:20:07]  But once you made it, it's worth it.
[00:20:12]  You know, let's just be honest.
[00:20:16]  If you want to be lazy, then don't commit.
[00:20:19]  Yeah, that's a good line.
[00:20:21]  If you want to be lazy, don't commit.
[00:20:23]  I would agree with that.
[00:20:25]  All right, I appreciate it.
[00:20:27]  Let's see, any women calling in here?
[00:20:30]  Yeah, Monique in Los Angeles.
[00:20:32]  Hello.
[00:20:34]  Hi, Dennis.
[00:20:35]  How are you?
[00:20:35]  Good, thank you.
[00:20:37]  So, I think marriage is 100% work, but it's not tedious work.
[00:20:43]  It's daily work, it's daily communication.
[00:20:47]  I kind of liken it to my hair.
[00:20:50]  I wash my hair, I condition my hair, I cut my hair, I color my hair, I style it, I brush it.
[00:20:57]  If I don't do anything to my hair on a daily basis, over time it will become very matted and difficult to deal with.
[00:21:05]  And my options will be to cut it off or have a really bad head of hair.
[00:21:10]  So in marriage, if you just do the daily things of communicating and loving and caring and nurturing, you don't end up with those big mats of hair that you can't paint.
[00:21:26]  It's really rather easy, but it is work.
[00:21:31]  I like that.
[00:21:33]  Marriage, I'm not saying this is a joke.
[00:21:36]  It's just a new way of looking at it.
[00:21:38]  Marriage, taking care of your marriage is like taking care of your hair, especially for a woman.
[00:21:44]  Yes, that's a very excellent point.
[00:21:49]  The fact that it takes work to keep your hair looking good, or for that matter, it takes work to stay looking good after you're a certain age, obviously.
[00:22:03]  It takes much less work when you're younger.
[00:22:10]  It's true, but it is not invalidating.
[00:22:13]  It just means with work you're going to get a reward.
[00:22:18]  I'm thinking this through as I speak to you, and I realize whereas I'm of the opinion, as I said earlier, that all things being equal, I would rather go home to an easy place to be than a place of work.
[00:22:39]  But having said that, It is definitely worth the work to work on a marriage.
[00:22:47]  That is absolutely correct.
[00:22:49]  But I did hint at something else earlier, and that is working on yourself.
[00:22:55]  Whatever the joy or work in a given marriage, they were still working on yourself.
[00:23:02]  Men still have to discipline their sexual nature in order to keep their marriage, for that matter, not just keep their marriage happy.
[00:23:13]  That would be an example.
[00:23:16]  It is not the same struggle for women.
[00:23:18]  Women have different struggles, that is usually not the same struggle.
[00:23:25]  And it is amazing how people want to deny it, but I've lived with that fact much of my life that people want to deny basic truths.
[00:23:36]  All right, let's see.
[00:23:37]  Patsy in Greenville, South Carolina.
[00:23:40]  Hello.
[00:23:42]  Hi, Dennis.
[00:23:42]  Hi.
[00:23:44]  Hey, I don't think it's work.
[00:23:46]  You don't think it's work?
[00:23:49]  No.
[00:23:52]  You have to have commitment, respect, patience, and kindness.
[00:23:56]  And that's not work.
[00:23:59]  Well, to be precise, it's work on yourself.
[00:24:08]  To attain those qualities takes effort.
[00:24:12]  God takes care of it, so if you just get in His Word, you'll have those things.
[00:24:16]  It's just so natural.
[00:24:17]  It's a joy to live that way.
[00:24:21]  And when you give those things, you get them back.
[00:24:25]  Generally speaking, if you're married to a healthy and decent person, you will.
[00:24:30]  Back in a moment.
[00:24:34]  So, I've been bringing to your attention a weight loss program.
[00:24:37]  I've only endorsed one on my show, and I've been asked often, but I did once have a weight loss product, but this is a program.
[00:24:47]  It's called PhD Weight Loss and Nutrition.
[00:24:52]  If you're watching the show as opposed to just listening, you'll see on the screen actual results of people who have embarked on the program.
[00:25:03]  The program gives you a coach.
[00:25:05]  I think that is an extremely important thing.
[00:25:09]  Monitoring your progress, or for that matter, lack of progress.
[00:25:14]  And it is a way of eating.
[00:25:18]  It's not just weight loss.
[00:25:20]  That's why it's called weight loss and nutrition.
[00:25:24]  I think you should schedule a one on one consult, see if it's right for you.
[00:25:29]  Go to myphdweightloss.com or call 864 644 1900, myphdweightloss.com.
[00:25:40]  Male female hour.
[00:25:43]  Interesting question about the comment that you often hear oh, marriage is work or marriage takes work.
[00:25:52]  So, young people who hear this, Are scared off.
[00:25:57]  Whereas when you tell them, well, every job takes work, well, a fair number don't want to do that either.
[00:26:10]  But everything worthwhile takes work.
[00:26:15]  However, I have some sympathy for those who think maybe it should be easier than work.
[00:26:22]  I do have some sympathy for that.
[00:26:25]  That is an ideal.
[00:26:28]  But you still have to work at it.
[00:26:30]  But that's true in the sense you have to work at your health.
[00:26:34]  You have to work at your happiness.
[00:26:36]  You have to work at your religion.
[00:26:38]  I mean, what good thing do you not have to work at?
[00:26:44]  Right?
[00:26:45]  Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
[00:26:47]  Pursuing happiness takes work.
[00:26:50]  That's why I have a happiness hour.
[00:26:54]  Okay, let's see here.
[00:26:59]  Very interesting.
[00:27:00]  So, Steve, Bob, Jay, Doug, Thomas.
[00:27:06]  So it's five men and two women.
[00:27:11]  Not uncommon ratio.
[00:27:13]  You wouldn't expect that on the male female hour.
[00:27:18]  Okay, let's see.
[00:27:21]  Well, here's a contrary view.
[00:27:23]  Mary in Sarasota, Florida.
[00:27:25]  Hello.
[00:27:27]  Dr. Prager, so good to speak with you for the first time ever.
[00:27:31]  Thank you.
[00:27:34]  So.
[00:27:37]  My deal is that having had a good marital partnership for 19 great years, the relationship was not difficult, but we worked hard.
[00:27:53]  I supported my husband in a way that he was able to start his own business, and we didn't have children terribly early on, and we enjoyed it.
[00:28:07]  Time together, and it was there was an ease.
[00:28:10]  I liked your word easy.
[00:28:13]  Things were easy, you know.
[00:28:15]  I'm a lover, not a fighter.
[00:28:16]  I don't understand these people that think they have to have a good spot every once in a while just you know to keep things alive.
[00:28:25]  I'm sorry, I don't get that.
[00:28:27]  Anyway, long story short, is around about the 20th year because we had such an idyllic life, seemingly.
[00:28:38]  A friend of the family decided that she wanted what I had, and my dear husband disrespected and betrayed all the trust that I ever extended to him.
[00:28:54]  So, while I had two terminally ill parents, one with Alzheimer's, one with cancer, he picked a fine time to decide to have a bad case of the middle aged crazies, and I said, I don't have enough energy to do the work that it would take.
[00:29:16]  Particularly when he said, I don't need any of that psychology, S H I T.
[00:29:21]  Okay?
[00:29:24]  So that was that.
[00:29:25]  And I'm way down the road from that and happy, happy, happy.
[00:29:30]  And the best thing that I could ever have done was to encourage the children to have a good relationship with the parent, their parent, their father.

=== Sacrifice Over Conventional Wisdom (12:37) ===

[00:29:43]  I salute you for that.
[00:29:45]  That speaks volumes about your character because a lot of women alienate their children from the ex husband.
[00:29:54]  Thank you, Dr. Prager.
[00:29:56]  Your wisdom and your sage advice that I have been listening to for months and months and years.
[00:30:03]  Finally, today, I let you know how much I appreciate you.
[00:30:06]  Well, that's very kind.
[00:30:07]  Really, it touches me.
[00:30:08]  Thank you.
[00:30:10]  By the way, for the record, I'm not a doctor.
[00:30:13]  Just for the record.
[00:30:16]  It reminds me of a story from my 20s.
[00:30:20]  I was giving a lecture at a synagogue.
[00:30:25]  I was in my 20s, as I said, and it was an older Jew who kept calling me Dr. Prager.
[00:30:30]  He had a Yiddish accent.
[00:30:34]  Finally, I realized it's going to.
[00:30:38]  I knew why he was calling me Dr. Prager, because it was hard for him to believe that I was that young and he could learn from me and I didn't have a PhD.
[00:30:51]  So finally, I said to him, Sir, I know this may.
[00:30:57]  And your particular desire to hear me, but I'm not a doctor.
[00:31:02]  And he thought for a moment and he said, By me, you're a ductile.
[00:31:08]  His truth.
[00:31:11]  This episode of Timeless Wisdom will continue right after this.
[00:31:17]  We live in a time where the moment you question the narrative, you're told to stop thinking and start complying.
[00:31:22]  That's why what Angel is doing matters.
[00:31:25]  With eye opening documentaries like Thank You, Dr. Fauci, and RFK Legacy.
[00:31:29]  Angel is willing to explore the issues others avoid.
[00:31:33]  In a culture shaped by gatekeepers, Angel offers something rare, a platform for truth seeking storytelling that isn't constrained by fear or conformity.
[00:31:41]  Go to angel.comslash Prager, join the Angel Guild, and watch these films today.
[00:31:50]  Now, back to more of Dennis Prager's Timeless Wisdom.
[00:31:55]  Male Female Hour, and it is an analysis of the widespread sentiment marriage is work or marriage takes work.
[00:32:08]  And your take on it and my take on it.
[00:32:13]  Okay, let's see here.
[00:32:18]  Nikki in Auburn, California.
[00:32:20]  Hello.
[00:32:22]  Hey, Dennis.
[00:32:23]  Great topic, by the way.
[00:32:24]  Good.
[00:32:26]  Yes, thank you.
[00:32:26]  Hey, my original thought was, and I don't think this is very true, when women began to be in the workplace, I think marriage became a lot harder because the roles were now not as distinctive.
[00:32:42]  And I know with my own self, my own case with my husband, we're both newly retired, early 60s.
[00:32:49]  And, you know, when the kids were home and we were both working full time, it was hard.
[00:32:54]  Who's going to make dinner?
[00:32:55]  Oh, well, I did it yesterday.
[00:32:57]  It's your turn tonight.
[00:32:59]  We were both coaching our kids in sports.
[00:33:01]  I mean, it was a super busy life.
[00:33:04]  And it was hard.
[00:33:07]  We got through it beautifully.
[00:33:09]  And I love what an earlier caller talked about having a servant's heart.
[00:33:14]  It really had to grow on me.
[00:33:16]  And I grew up not seeing a marriage.
[00:33:19]  I was raised by a single parent and never saw a really good.
[00:33:24]  A good marriage at work.
[00:33:26]  And so when I got married at 26, I really had no clue what I was getting into.
[00:33:33]  And I'll never forget the night before the wedding, my maid of honor told my husband, You better watch out for her.
[00:33:39]  She's a pistol.
[00:33:41]  And I was.
[00:33:43]  I was full of pride.
[00:33:45]  And that's something I had to work on.
[00:33:48]  My husband and I were liberal.
[00:33:51]  My husband was conservative.
[00:33:52]  We had to work a lot of things out.
[00:33:55]  Fortunately, I came to his side and we both became people of faith, and that helped tremendously.
[00:34:02]  But now that we're, you know, retired, the kids have been gone for 15 years, it's not hard.
[00:34:08]  It's maintenance, but it's not hard.
[00:34:11]  Maintenance, that's a good term.
[00:34:14]  It's like, it's sort of like maintaining your hair, like the previous woman called.
[00:34:20]  Exactly.
[00:34:20]  And that's what I, that popped into my mind when she was describing that.
[00:34:24]  I mean, just making sure, you know, you set a time for date night, you set a time for not a Set of time, but make sure you have romance, even though you might not be in the mood.
[00:34:32]  And all that's important, and we're just probably happier and more satisfied than ever.
[00:34:39]  But I do think those early days.
[00:34:41]  Right.
[00:34:42]  So, when you were in the home, those were distinctive.
[00:34:45]  In light of your realization of how much more difficult it is now that both are earners and there's no division of roles, do you think that that's.
[00:34:59]  I'll ask you it this way.
[00:35:01]  Do you think the ideal is that one, usually the man, can support the home and then she can stay home?
[00:35:10]  Or do you think that's not an ideal no matter what?
[00:35:15]  No, I honestly think that's an ideal situation.
[00:35:19]  I'm watching my son and his wife.
[00:35:21]  They're both nurses, and they have opposite shifts because they don't want to pay for daycare.
[00:35:27]  And it's hard.
[00:35:29]  You know, he was like, I have to go.
[00:35:31]  I have to go make her dinner before she has to go to work.
[00:35:33]  You know, but.
[00:35:35]  I think ideally that is the best situation.
[00:35:39]  Either parent doesn't have to be the wife.
[00:35:41]  Right, I agree with you.
[00:35:42]  I agree.
[00:35:44]  Yeah, well, you're intellectually honest.
[00:35:48]  I appreciate it.
[00:35:49]  Thank you very much.
[00:35:51]  That's a test.
[00:35:53]  I find that to be a test of a person's intellectual honesty.
[00:35:57]  Like I have a test of an atheist when I have a debate, which I periodically do with atheists.
[00:36:06]  I ask them, do you hope you're right or do you hope you're wrong?
[00:36:11]  And if they're intellectually honest, they hope they're wrong.
[00:36:16]  You have to be.
[00:36:17]  Intellectually dishonest to hope there is no God.
[00:36:21]  There is no ultimate justice.
[00:36:24]  There is no reuniting with loved ones.
[00:36:26]  There's nothing.
[00:36:27]  Life is meaningless.
[00:36:28]  You're rooting for that?
[00:36:29]  Okay, it means you're not intellectually honest.
[00:36:33]  Likewise, where two people have worked and made a go of the marriage, which she did, obviously, I will ask, well, would you say that the ideal is both working, both divvying homework and income?
[00:36:51]  Or is it ideal if one could support one financially and one do the work of home and children?
[00:37:01]  I think that the latter is obviously the ideal.
[00:37:07]  Okay, let's go on.
[00:37:09]  That was good.
[00:37:14]  All right.
[00:37:17]  Bob in Galena, Ohio.
[00:37:19]  Hello, Bob.
[00:37:22]  Hello, Dennis.
[00:37:23]  Good day.
[00:37:23]  Good day.
[00:37:26]  So, my thoughts on marriage, where it's more than work, it is sacrifice.
[00:37:32]  Work is often a pejorative, but I mean, work can be good.
[00:37:36]  Your sports analogy was apt, and it is work and sacrifice to be good at any sport.
[00:37:44]  And before my children moved out, growing up, I constantly reinforced that if you're not working for something, you don't know the value of anything.
[00:37:54]  And so, whether that's A job to get your money in your first car, or even just be great at your sport and you don't have time for the job.
[00:38:00]  But it's all work.
[00:38:03]  And really, again, it's not, it's not, work's not a bad thing.
[00:38:06]  But I think a good marriage, a successful marriage, requires a little sacrifice.
[00:38:12]  And it was a point brought up to me by my wife because we were discussing our grown children and the idea of them living with someone or not living with someone versus being married.
[00:38:22]  We are very conservative.
[00:38:23]  We prefer they all marry, but they choose to live their own lives.
[00:38:27]  But The main point she was making, and I really clung on to it, I thought it was beautiful, was just that those who choose never to get married, who just choose to cohabitate, there's no sacrifice.
[00:38:40]  And I really felt like that was very apt, very prone.
[00:38:44]  She and I both are in a second marriage.
[00:38:48]  Like you, I broke back into prison, as some of my friends like to say.
[00:38:53]  And this has been a beautiful marriage that we've had together for nearly 20 years now.
[00:39:02]  The first go around, I would say that my partner didn't want to put in the work.
[00:39:08]  I would say that's similar for her.
[00:39:10]  And in her case, she actually lived with her first spouse.
[00:39:14]  All right, I got to hold it there.
[00:39:16]  Hold on, my friend.
[00:39:17]  Thank you.
[00:39:24]  Well, this has been exactly what I assumed it would be because of the intelligence of you out there calling in.
[00:39:32]  Marriage is work.
[00:39:33]  It's a very famous, not famous, it's a very widespread sentiment.
[00:39:38]  Conventional wisdom.
[00:39:40]  Conventional wisdom, as my producer puts it.
[00:39:43]  And a lot of conventional wisdom is accurate.
[00:39:47]  So we haven't resolved the question of ideally, is it less work?
[00:39:56]  And I, yes, that's my belief.
[00:39:59]  That's the ideal.
[00:40:01]  But even if it's less work, of course it's effortful.
[00:40:05]  Of course it is.
[00:40:06]  If that's what work means, of course it's effortful.
[00:40:10]  I write a column each week.
[00:40:13]  Would I say it's work?
[00:40:14]  Yes, it's work.
[00:40:17]  But is it unpleasant work?
[00:40:23]  Isn't the appearance of the column each week worth it?
[00:40:30]  I guess that's the big question is is it worth it?
[00:40:35]  Would it be better?
[00:40:36]  How's this?
[00:40:37]  Would it be better if I wrote no column?
[00:40:39]  It would be easier.
[00:40:42]  Would it be better?
[00:40:43]  If I wrote no books, it would be a lot easier.
[00:40:47]  It takes a lot of work to write a book.
[00:40:51]  I've written nine.
[00:40:52]  I think it's nine.
[00:40:53]  It might be ten.
[00:40:55]  It takes a lot of work.
[00:40:59]  So I think what one has to ask.
[00:41:03]  See, this is the beauty how having a radio show has so helped my thinking.
[00:41:11]  Because I have to think things through with you.
[00:41:14]  The question is not is marriage work?
[00:41:18]  The question is is it worth it?
[00:41:22]  Because that's the question of all the work that we do in our life.
[00:41:32]  Is this child worth the work I put in?
[00:41:35]  Now, a lot of people.
[00:41:36]  May not be honest about saying the truth is it isn't.
[00:41:39]  It's not because it's too painful to admit you don't have a particularly lovable child or likable, which is more realistic.
[00:41:54]  Was your work worth the work?
[00:41:57]  Your career, your job?
[00:42:01]  That is the question.
[00:42:03]  So the next time a young person tells you, you know, everybody tells me that marriage is work.
[00:42:09]  You tell them, yeah?
[00:42:12]  So is sports.
[00:42:16]  What is it worth?
[00:42:19]  That's the point.

=== What Is Your Life Worth (01:20) ===

[00:42:21]  Tomorrow, Untimeless Wisdom with Dennis Prager.
[00:42:24]  Not only is the issue, this is the ultimate issues hour, not only does the issue, and I'm Dennis Prager, thank you for being with me, not only does the issue.
[00:42:33]  Take three!
[00:42:37]  Not only does the.
[00:42:40]  How else can I interrupt myself?
[00:42:46]  It's a little sad when you're not interrupted by others but by yourself.
[00:42:51]  Join us tomorrow to hear more on Timeless Wisdom with Dennis Prager.
[00:42:56]  This has been Timeless Wisdom with Dennis Prager.
[00:42:59]  Visit DennisPrager.com for thousands of hours of Dennis's lectures, courses, and classic radio programs, and to purchase Dennis Prager's Rational Bibles.
[00:43:13]  We live in a time where the moment you question the narrative, you're told to stop thinking and start complying.
[00:43:18]  That's why what Angel is doing matters.
[00:43:20]  With eye-opening documentaries like Thank You, Dr. Fauci, and RFK, Legacy, Angel is willing to explore the issues others avoid.
[00:43:28]  In a culture shaped by gatekeepers, Angel offers something rare, a platform for truth-seeking storytelling that isn't constrained by fear or conformity.
[00:43:37]  Go to angel.com slash prager, join the Angel Guild, and watch these films today.