Dennis Prager Show - Timeless Wisdom: Happiness Hour - Memories and Happiness
Aired: 2026-04-03
Duration: 39:33


=== Why Bad Memories Hurt Happiness (03:40) ===

[00:00:00]  People are searching for truth in a culture that feels disconnected from it.
[00:00:03]  That's why platforms like Angel exist, offering a space for uplifting entertainment and documentaries, including Homestead, a story centered on family, faith, and resilience, Solo Mio, a lighthearted romantic comedy, David, an animated musical with sweeping storytelling, and The Death of Recess, a documentary exploring concerns around the modern education system.
[00:00:22]  If you're looking for meaningful, values-driven content, Angel provides a range of options.
[00:00:27]  Learn more at angel.com slash breaker.
[00:00:30]  Welcome to Timeless Wisdom with Dennis Prager.
[00:00:34]  Hear thousands of hours of Dennis' lectures, courses, and classic radio programs.
[00:00:38]  And to purchase Dennis Prager's Rational Bibles, go to DennisPrager.com.
[00:00:50]  Episode of Timeless Wisdom.
[00:00:53]  How important are memories to happiness?
[00:00:55]  Now, bad memories, let's say you were abused as a child, that continues to affect many people's happiness.
[00:01:04]  One of the major reasons for therapy is to expunge bad memories.
[00:01:11]  So, obviously, bad memories contribute to our unhappiness.
[00:01:17]  That's, I think, fairly obvious.
[00:01:21]  But here's the big question.
[00:01:23]  Do good memories contribute to our happiness?
[00:01:26]  That's coming up on Timeless Wisdom with Dennis Prager, and it starts right now.
[00:01:32]  Yes, yes, yes.
[00:01:33]  It's the happiness hour on the Dennis Prager Show, everybody.
[00:01:37]  Come hell or high water, as they say.
[00:01:40]  I address the subject of happiness this second hour of the Dennis Prager Show on Fridays.
[00:01:49]  My friends, you know how important I consider happiness.
[00:01:53]  I have.
[00:01:54]  Been doing so now for about 15 years, not my whole life.
[00:01:57]  I didn't realize how important it was.
[00:01:59]  I thought, oh, it's nice to have.
[00:02:01]  It's much better to be happy than unhappy.
[00:02:03]  That's a given.
[00:02:05]  But I didn't realize how unbelievably important it is that the world is made better if there are happy people in it.
[00:02:14]  That children so suffer from an unhappy parent, and friends do, and spouses, and so on.
[00:02:22]  So happiness has become of tremendous significance.
[00:02:25]  To me.
[00:02:26]  That's why no matter what, I devote an hour to this subject each week.
[00:02:29]  I devoted 10 years to writing a book on it.
[00:02:31]  The book's title, and I certainly, obviously, I hope you read it.
[00:02:36]  I mean, if you like the hour, I don't know why you wouldn't read it.
[00:02:39]  Happiness is a Serious Problem is very apt.
[00:02:42]  The title is very apt to the subject today.
[00:02:44]  This will give you an idea of why happiness is a serious problem.
[00:02:48]  Talk to you, and I never did.
[00:02:50]  This is a totally new subject on the Happiness Hour.
[00:02:55]  And that is what role does memory play in your happiness?
[00:03:03]  Think about that.
[00:03:04]  And I have a number of theories here that I would love your reaction to because this is still in formation and your feedback will be very important to me.
[00:03:15]  How important are memories to happiness?
[00:03:17]  Now, bad memories, let's say you were abused as a child, that continues to affect many people's happiness.
[00:03:27]  One of the major reasons for therapy is to expunge bad memories.
[00:03:33]  So obviously, bad memories contribute to our unhappiness.

=== The Role of Memory in Joy (13:17) ===

[00:03:40]  That's, I think, fairly obvious.
[00:03:43]  But here's the big question Do good memories contribute to our happiness?
[00:03:50]  And my argument is they ought to, but for a lot of people, bad memories are far more powerful, have a much more powerful effect on their happiness than good memories do.
[00:04:05]  And that's not right to yourself, and it's just not right, period.
[00:04:10]  Why is the memory of a bad event or a series of bad events going to overwhelm the memory of equally powerful good events?
[00:04:19]  So that's number one.
[00:04:21]  Why do we allow the bad memories to be so much stronger than the good memories?
[00:04:27]  That's one aspect here.
[00:04:30]  Now, number two, forgetting bad memories.
[00:04:32]  Let's take the example of Nancy Reagan.
[00:04:35]  We all know that she had a dream marriage with Ronald Reagan.
[00:04:41]  Ronald Reagan has died.
[00:04:45]  Now, does Nancy Reagan, and I'm using her obviously solely as an example, does a person like that, but does Nancy Reagan now, does she derive any happiness from the memories of so many decades with the man she adored and loved and cherished?
[00:05:06]  And if the answer is no, then you have to understand life adds up to nothing.
[00:05:13]  If memories don't matter, then the only thing we have is the present.
[00:05:21]  Now, there may be people who argue that.
[00:05:24]  All we have is the present.
[00:05:26]  But then it seems to me that you might as well have permanent Alzheimer's.
[00:05:32]  Alzheimer's erases memory.
[00:05:35]  When you erase memory, you cease to be fully human.
[00:05:39]  That's what makes us human is that I do remember you.
[00:05:42]  You remember me.
[00:05:43]  I remember loved ones.
[00:05:44]  I remember loving experiences.
[00:05:48]  That's why parents have pictures of their kids as babies up.
[00:05:52]  When I was a kid, I never understood.
[00:05:55]  I'd go into my father's office in the house, and I would see pictures of me when I was three, or I would see my first pair of shoes, which were bronzed.
[00:06:07]  That's a habit that has happily.
[00:06:09]  Uh, gone, uh, by the wayside.
[00:06:11]  And I'd actually be embarrassed.
[00:06:13]  Why, what are those up there for?
[00:06:15]  I'm not three.
[00:06:16]  I'm 11.
[00:06:18]  Anyway, parents do it.
[00:06:20]  We do it, obviously.
[00:06:21]  Who doesn't do it?
[00:06:23]  Uh, we, because of the memories that we cherish.
[00:06:26]  That's what pictures are for.
[00:06:28]  If memories don't matter, why take photos?
[00:06:32]  What is the purpose of taking family photos?
[00:06:36]  You should only take pictures of buildings or, or, or seen, beautiful scenes.
[00:06:42]  We take pictures.
[00:06:44]  To have memories so that you relive that pleasant memory that that picture conjures up.
[00:06:55]  So, I am arguing here that it's a delicate balance.
[00:06:59]  You can't only live in memory, although I have to believe that under some horrific circumstances, you know, you're put into a concentration camp and your present is so totally dark that you live on memories.
[00:07:13]  That's the food of your soul.
[00:07:14]  Yeah.
[00:07:15]  Memory has to be a very important component of happiness, as much as you have to live in the present.
[00:07:22]  But as certainly as you get older, that's why older people will reminisce.
[00:07:26]  It's not depressing.
[00:07:28]  It's just a different form of happiness.
[00:07:30]  Younger people with so many fewer memories, obviously, what they do is they imagine a bright future, as indeed they should.
[00:07:38]  It is something that obviously a young person should do.
[00:07:45]  When you're 18, you don't have a great storehouse of happy memories.
[00:07:50]  1 8 Prager 776 is the number.
[00:07:54]  I'm very curious to get your feedback on this.
[00:07:57]  Do you agree?
[00:07:58]  Do you disagree?
[00:07:59]  Can you provide me examples?
[00:08:01]  1 8 Prager 776 is the number.
[00:08:06]  Prager, P R A G E R, 776.
[00:08:10]  That's 877 243 7776.
[00:08:12]  877 243 7776.
[00:08:14]  On this edition of the Happiness Hour, I'm talking to you about the role of memory.
[00:08:20]  And you have to cherish them.
[00:08:24]  It makes perfect sense to do that.
[00:08:25]  There's nothing bleak or sad about happy remembrances.
[00:08:30]  Those events happen, they are real.
[00:08:32]  You are now reliving them.
[00:08:35]  What else do you do?
[00:08:37]  If a loved one dies, is that it?
[00:08:39]  That's it?
[00:08:40]  The memories count for nothing?
[00:08:42]  I can't think of a more depressing idea in the human species.
[00:08:47]  Well, yeah, well, we had 30 years together, largely incredibly happy, but now he, she died, and that's it.
[00:08:55]  Certainly, I even believe that vis a vis a child, the most painful loss that people do endure.
[00:09:03]  So let's see what you have to say about this, because we certainly know the power of bad memories, although John in Denver on KNUS does not fully agree.
[00:09:15]  John, Dennis Prager, thank you for calling.
[00:09:17]  Hi, Dennis.
[00:09:17]  I hate to call only when I disagree.
[00:09:20]  No, no, no.
[00:09:21]  That's a great time to call.
[00:09:23]  I heard you assert that you basically think bad memories are maybe more powerful than good.
[00:09:29]  For many people, we shouldn't allow that, but I do believe that.
[00:09:33]  Yeah, I would.
[00:09:34]  Maybe, okay, for many people, sort of qualifies it.
[00:09:36]  Oh, but I did say, I said that it shouldn't.
[00:09:39]  I said, my whole argument of this hour is that the good memory should be at least as powerful.
[00:09:44]  Yeah, because as my dad died of cancer, he wasted away to nothing.
[00:09:48]  The last year was horrible, and yet.
[00:09:50]  Oh, no, no, that's different.
[00:09:51]  Already that's fading, and the good takes over that.
[00:09:54]  Of course it should.
[00:09:54]  I mean, that would be absurd to think that your biggest image of your dad is the last two years of his fading.
[00:10:00]  Right.
[00:10:00]  Of course, but I wasn't referring to that.
[00:10:03]  I was referring to, if you were, I even gave the example, if you were abused as a child, we know.
[00:10:09]  How that memory ill affects your happiness.
[00:10:12]  Yeah, and I think part of that I found with my own patients, part of that is because it often leaves sort of a singular fear or a singular phobia in life.
[00:10:23]  A kid falls from a high space and is left with fear of heights, or a child is afraid of their father.
[00:10:31]  It leaves a specific fear about the good memories, which are much more multifactorial.
[00:10:35]  Right, but then all I'm saying, and I remember I said that's why the title of my book is apt.
[00:10:41]  Happiness is a serious problem.
[00:10:42]  Maybe the way the world is ordered, bad memories have a deeper impact than good memories.
[00:10:48]  Yeah, that's a phenomenal book, by the way.
[00:10:50]  I just want to commend you on that.
[00:10:52]  I read that about a year ago.
[00:10:53]  Oh, thank you.
[00:10:53]  Thank you.
[00:10:54]  That's phenomenal.
[00:10:54]  Well, I wasn't aching or plotting for a compliment, but thank you.
[00:11:00]  I just hope people read it because I know it can affect their lives.
[00:11:03]  Thank you, John.
[00:11:04]  It's great to hear from you.
[00:11:07]  This question Do happy memories add up?
[00:11:10]  Here's a question I would like to pose to you.
[00:11:13]  Do any of you have overwhelmingly happy memories from your childhood, but are not happy now?
[00:11:23]  This or for.
[00:11:25]  I'd love to know that.
[00:11:26]  You see, I'm trying to put some order in the universe here for myself as well as for others.
[00:11:34]  In other words, is it a fairly good indicator of later happiness to have had a childhood filled with happy memories?
[00:11:45]  We'll be back in a moment.
[00:11:46]  You're listening to the Happiness Hour on the Dennis Prager Show, 1 8 Prager 776.
[00:11:51]  And I'm Dennis Prager.
[00:11:53]  This episode of Timeless Wisdom will continue right after this.
[00:12:00]  People are searching for truth in a culture that feels disconnected from it.
[00:12:03]  That's why platforms like Angel exist, offering a space for uplifting entertainment and documentaries, including Homestead, a story centered on family, faith, and resilience, Solo Mio, a lighthearted romantic comedy, David, an animated musical with sweeping storytelling, and The Death of Recess, a documentary exploring concerns around the modern education system.
[00:12:22]  If you're looking for meaningful, values-driven content, Angel provides a range of options.
[00:12:27]  Learn more at angel.com slash breaker.
[00:12:31]  Now, back to more of Dennis Prager's Timeless Wisdom.
[00:12:37]  This subject is of great interest to me, and it was not when I wrote my book.
[00:12:43]  This actually is not in my book on happiness, this particular subject.
[00:12:48]  I wonder if I'll ever write a part two to Happiness is a Serious Problem.
[00:12:52]  But as I get older, perhaps maybe that's part of the reason.
[00:12:58]  Memories start taking on greater significance as you get older.
[00:13:02]  I mean, by definition, they have to, since you have so many more of them.
[00:13:06]  But no matter what your age, the question that I'm raising of what is the significance of happy memories to happiness has to be asked.
[00:13:17]  Otherwise, nothing adds up.
[00:13:19]  I mean, think about it just rationally now, not emotionally.
[00:13:24]  If happy experiences don't add up, then emotional memory is pointless.
[00:13:32]  In effect, we.
[00:13:33]  From the perspective of happiness, we all would have Alzheimer's.
[00:13:37]  We'd have no memory.
[00:13:39]  And so that's why it seems to me simply logical that you have to draw on happy experiences.
[00:13:46]  And that's where the mind comes in.
[00:13:48]  And I am a big believer that the mind plays as large a role in your happiness as the emotions do.
[00:13:55]  You hear me?
[00:13:56]  It's unbelievably important.
[00:13:59]  That's why I believe you will happiness just as much as you feel happiness.
[00:14:05]  You will it.
[00:14:07]  That's right.
[00:14:08]  Yep.
[00:14:08]  You just don't sit and wait for happy feelings.
[00:14:11]  That is in my book, it is a big part of it.
[00:14:13]  You don't sit around and wait to feel happy to be happy.
[00:14:16]  You manufacture happiness.
[00:14:19]  Of course, you do.
[00:14:20]  You have to.
[00:14:21]  Otherwise, you know, when will you be bombarded with a happy feeling?
[00:14:27]  Next Tuesday at 3 o'clock?
[00:14:29]  I mean, when does it happen?
[00:14:30]  It happens occasionally, but you can't rely on it.
[00:14:33]  One of the ways in which happiness can be, if you will, manufactured. Is through utilizing happy memories.
[00:14:43]  All right, let's go to some more of your calls.
[00:14:45]  In St. Cloud, Minnesota, on the Patriot, it's Dennis.
[00:14:49]  Dennis, Dennis Prager.
[00:14:50]  Hi.
[00:14:50]  Hi, Dennis.
[00:14:51]  Hi.
[00:14:52]  Well, you were just asking about the nature of, it sounded like happiness versus negative emotions.
[00:14:59]  Well, I deal with helping people get over negative emotions every day, and my perception is.
[00:15:04]  Well, what is your field?
[00:15:05]  Psychotherapy.
[00:15:07]  Okay.
[00:15:08]  And.
[00:15:10]  The happiness is a natural state of mind, whereas negative emotions, which are our unconscious mind trying to deal with a situation that creates unhappiness and the inability to do something.
[00:15:27]  You think that happiness is the natural state of the mind?
[00:15:29]  Absolutely.
[00:15:30]  When I work with someone after I've worked with them and I've eliminated the negative emotions, they are left with a happy state of mind.
[00:15:39]  So that's interesting.
[00:15:40]  So you wouldn't agree with the title of my book, Happiness is a Serious Problem?
[00:15:44]  And that's okay, but I'm just for you.
[00:15:46]  Well, more unhappiness is a serious problem.
[00:15:48]  Yeah, no, no, and I understand whatever.
[00:15:51]  Yeah, I, when I look at a baby though, I don't think that there's a naturally happy state.
[00:15:57]  I think of a baby as having to overcome a vast amount of obstacles to be happy insecurity, hunger, thirst, darkness, tiredness, helplessness.
[00:16:10]  Well, as we experience every state of need, a negative emotion, at the moment it happens, is trying to resolve something.
[00:16:21]  Now, that is only something to spur us to take some action to satisfy that need.
[00:16:27]  To the extent that we are not able to satisfy it, If we satisfy it at the moment, it happens.
[00:16:33]  All right, well, let me just ask you.
[00:16:34]  All right, well, let me just ask you.
[00:16:35]  That negative emotion is left out, so we don't have to deal with it.
[00:16:38]  In a sentence or two, what do you think the role of happy memories are or should be to happiness?
[00:16:45]  It's to anchor us to the reassurance that the world is a friendly place, that we have positive experiences and we can continue to experience it.
[00:16:54]  All right, fair enough.
[00:16:54]  All right, thank you so much.
[00:16:56]  Appreciate your call.

=== How the Mind Creates Happiness (02:54) ===

[00:16:58]  Let's go to somebody who has lived a longer life for a moment here.
[00:17:04]  Let's go to Marta.
[00:17:06]  Martin San Diego on KCBQ, Dennis Prager, hi.
[00:17:10]  Are you talking to me?
[00:17:11]  I am, Marta.
[00:17:12]  You're on.
[00:17:13]  Yes.
[00:17:13]  Thank you.
[00:17:13]  I love your program.
[00:17:14]  Thank you.
[00:17:15]  And happiness is a serious business.
[00:17:18]  Yes, it is.
[00:17:20]  I just wanted to say that, you know, I'm a lady of a certain age.
[00:17:25]  Uh huh.
[00:17:25]  And I feel that all of the experiences of my life, unhappy, happy, whatever they were, are the sum total of who I am today.
[00:17:35]  Right.
[00:17:36]  Do you draw on those happy experiences for happiness?
[00:17:40]  Not necessarily.
[00:17:42]  I draw on all my experiences because some of my negative experiences can make me appreciate now how I overcame them.
[00:17:51]  That's true.
[00:17:51]  That's a good point.
[00:17:52]  So then you draw on both.
[00:17:54]  Yes.
[00:17:55]  So memory plays a role in your happiness.
[00:17:57]  Absolutely.
[00:17:59]  And I've decided that it's such a good thing that I have that I'm writing it all down for my children as a set of memoirs.
[00:18:08]  Yes, I deeply believe in that, Martha.
[00:18:11]  And I know I've.
[00:18:13]  Told you many, many times, my listeners, my father is doing that.
[00:18:16]  He's writing a very serious autobiography.
[00:18:19]  I might add, at my urging for many years, and it is a blessing.
[00:18:24]  And from what he tells me, and my father is almost 86, and he tells me that this is a great source of joy in his life, writing his autobiography.
[00:18:38]  Now, that's a great example of where reliving.
[00:18:44]  Is experiencing memories such a positive inducer of happiness?
[00:18:50]  And I would not have talked this way maybe a few years ago.
[00:18:54]  But as I meet people with great losses, people who have lost their loved husband, for example, widows, and I think, or people, God forbid, lose, it's God forbid in either case, but lose their child.
[00:19:07]  And then I think, with all that pain, as it is, I mean, it's devastating.
[00:19:15]  But cannot the good memories provide some degree of solace?
[00:19:23]  In other words, if they don't, and I don't agree that they don't, that's my point here.
[00:19:26]  That's why I'm talking.
[00:19:27]  My view of happiness, I'm repeating myself only because of its urgency.
[00:19:31]  My view of happiness is that the mind induces it, it is not only a feeling.
[00:19:37]  And if your mind can't induce it and you're only relying on happy feelings, you are doomed to unhappiness and depression.
[00:19:46]  Feelings alone, feelings are critically important, but they are shaped by our mind.

=== Feelings Shaped by Our Minds (15:48) ===

[00:19:52]  That's the power.
[00:19:53]  The mind can tell you.
[00:19:54]  Look, I'll give you an example how the mind tells you.
[00:19:57]  A doctor coming over to you with a needle does not cause you unhappiness.
[00:20:04]  A torturer coming over with a needle does because the mind has context in which to put it.
[00:20:12]  The pain of childbirth, I am told, is quite severe.
[00:20:16]  But a half amount of that pain that is not desired is far more painful.
[00:20:22]  The mind tells you how to react to events, with what degree of happiness, with what degree of welcoming.
[00:20:31]  And the mind can take the memories of one's life and do with it what it wills.
[00:20:38]  And it must contribute.
[00:20:39]  I mean, think it's pathetic if it doesn't.
[00:20:42]  Think about it.
[00:20:42]  You've lived X number of years and it adds up emotionally to nothing?
[00:20:47]  It only matters what happens today?
[00:20:51]  Now, I believe you should live in the present, very much so, but it's absurd to argue the other way.
[00:20:58]  As I said, we would all be having emotional Alzheimer's.
[00:21:01]  Back in a moment, I'm Dennis Prager.
[00:21:03]  This episode of Timeless Wisdom will continue right after this.
[00:21:09]  People are searching for truth in a culture that feels disconnected from it.
[00:21:12]  That's why platforms like Angel exists, offering a space for uplifting entertainment and documentaries, including Homestead, a story centered on family, faith, and resilience, Solo Mio, a lighthearted romantic comedy, David, an animated musical with sweeping storytelling, and The Death of Recess, a documentary exploring concerns around the modern education system.
[00:21:32]  If you're looking for meaningful, values driven content, Angel provides a range of options.
[00:21:36]  Learn more at angel.comslash Prager.
[00:21:41]  Now, back to more of Dennis Prager's Timeless Wisdom.
[00:21:45]  All right, everybody, you're listening to the Dennis. Prager Show.
[00:21:51]  And the question on the table here on this this is the happiness hour.
[00:21:55]  Every week at this time, I discuss the subject of happiness with you.
[00:22:00]  And it is the role of memory.
[00:22:02]  Do memories matter?
[00:22:04]  Is the only thing that matters to your happiness what is happening to you at this moment?
[00:22:09]  And I have to tell you that it is actually depressing to think that that would be the case for anyone.
[00:22:18]  That the only thing that matters is the present.
[00:22:21]  What it means is that the present won't matter a minute from now.
[00:22:26]  If, if memories don't matter, then the present doesn't matter later because that the present later is a memory, obviously.
[00:22:36]  So it's, I mean, think about it.
[00:22:40]  If your memory were wiped out, would you be, would, would, how would you be any different then than if you don't count your memories for your happiness?
[00:22:49]  By the way, bad memories may serve a positive purpose, as was pointed out by one of the callers.
[00:22:58]  Bad memories affect us negatively, but they could also affect us positively if we have overcome them.
[00:23:04]  And then we look at where our life is now and we celebrate it.
[00:23:09]  On the other hand, you can have happy memories, look at where your life is now, and then get depressed.
[00:23:15]  So everything is double edged because whatever you use for good, you could use for bad.
[00:23:20]  That's why the point is you manufacture your happiness.
[00:23:25]  Abraham Lincoln put it, I quote him in many of my talks on happiness, we are as happy as we decide.
[00:23:31]  You are as happy as you decide to be.
[00:23:34]  I have found that to be truer and truer as I get older.
[00:23:38]  It is a decision and it is an art.
[00:23:41]  There is an art to happiness.
[00:23:43]  When I was a kid, I read a book titled The Art of Loving, where to be a loving human being was depicted as an art that one works at it.
[00:23:56]  And I think there's a lot of truth to that.
[00:23:59]  But the same holds true without question with regard to happiness.
[00:24:05]  That, even more so, not even more so, that absolutely clearly is an art.
[00:24:11]  All righty, let's go to.
[00:24:15]  More of your calls in Porterville, California on KTIP 1450.
[00:24:21]  Hello, Beverly.
[00:24:22]  Dennis Prager.
[00:24:23]  Oh, good morning, Dennis.
[00:24:25]  This is a topic that has a lot of serendipity in it for me.
[00:24:30]  My husband and I are dealing with two quite elderly parents, one his, one mine.
[00:24:36]  His aging parent, who's 92, seems to be able to bring up good memories from the past.
[00:24:44]  To erase all these dreadful physical things that are happening to him.
[00:24:47]  It seems that no matter what he goes through, we visit and he thanks us for coming.
[00:24:52]  He has not complained at all during the last grueling eight month period of terrible physical challenges.
[00:25:02]  The other parent we deal with daily seems to not be able to bring up the good memories from the past and just looks at the present.
[00:25:10]  And even when something good happens, is just saying, Oh, why did this have to happen to me?
[00:25:15]  So I think there's some sort of.
[00:25:16]  Enlightenment or a spark of intelligence or something that needs to be there for a person to get that good balance.
[00:25:23]  Well, Beverly, that's the reason that I'm raising the topic because people must be made aware of what they need to do in order to be happy.
[00:25:32]  It's not just about memories, it's about everything.
[00:25:34]  Right.
[00:25:35]  We think that it happens if something happens.
[00:25:37]  People think happiness happens.
[00:25:39]  Happiness is created.
[00:25:40]  Right, right.
[00:25:42]  Well, you gave a great example, Beverly.
[00:25:44]  Thank you so much.
[00:25:45]  Oh, you're welcome.
[00:25:46]  Okay, take care.
[00:25:46]  No, that's right.
[00:25:48]  There you have just two people.
[00:25:50]  One deciding to do X with memories and one deciding to look at the present only.
[00:25:55]  And obviously it suffers.
[00:25:57]  By the way, that's what, that's what children do.
[00:25:59]  Did you ever notice that?
[00:26:00]  That is what children do.
[00:26:02]  They, when a child, child, children's moods, right?
[00:26:06]  Most children's moods of happiness vary regularly, constantly.
[00:26:11]  If they're on a roller coaster, boy, are they happy.
[00:26:14]  But if they have to go to bed, boy, are they unhappy.
[00:26:19]  Now, why is that?
[00:26:22]  And one reason is, there are many reasons, but one major reason is because there's no perspective in their little brain about happiness.
[00:26:32]  Well, I have to go to bed, but so what?
[00:26:33]  I mean, it's been a great day.
[00:26:35]  Can you say that?
[00:26:37]  Oh, don't you ever say to your young kid, Oh, wasn't it a great day?
[00:26:40]  And when they're in the bed, what are you kidding?
[00:26:43]  They don't even know what you're talking about.
[00:26:45]  It was a great day.
[00:26:46]  So what?
[00:26:48]  And yet we do it perhaps with our life.
[00:26:51]  Wasn't it a great life?
[00:26:52]  So what?
[00:26:54]  Wasn't it a great year?
[00:26:55]  Wasn't it a great day?
[00:26:56]  Whatever it might be.
[00:27:00]  We are all children emotionally, but we have the capacity to become adults if we choose to be an adult.
[00:27:07]  Back in a moment, 1 8 Prager 776.
[00:27:10]  I'm Dennis Prager.
[00:27:11]  This is the Happiness Hour on the Dennis Prager Show.
[00:27:18]  I've raised hundreds upon hundreds upon hundreds of subjects over the course of many years doing the Happiness Hour.
[00:27:28]  I don't think, though, that I've raised a more complex one than this one.
[00:27:33]  The role of memories in your happiness.
[00:27:36]  The phone number is 877 243 7776.
[00:27:41]  877 243 7776.
[00:27:44]  Or 1 8 Prager 776.
[00:27:52]  I was thinking of Nancy Reagan.
[00:27:55]  Does she derive any happiness now or over the years with Ronald Reagan?
[00:28:01]  Having left and all but his physical manifestation.
[00:28:09]  But does she derive with him dead now?
[00:28:12]  Does she derive any happiness from their memories?
[00:28:17]  Or maybe looking at the pictures of those happy years, maybe they just fill her with grief over what she can no longer have with him.
[00:28:28]  That's the question.
[00:28:29]  I have to believe that memory must play a role.
[00:28:35]  As I keep saying, otherwise life doesn't add up to anything.
[00:28:39]  Maybe it doesn't.
[00:28:40]  Maybe it doesn't.
[00:28:40]  Maybe we have to be big enough to acknowledge it.
[00:28:43]  But I don't think it's big, I think it's immature.
[00:28:46]  Children don't let memories add up.
[00:28:49]  Everything is the now.
[00:28:51]  If I'm on a roller coaster, I'm happy.
[00:28:53]  If I have to do homework, I'm unhappy.
[00:28:56]  I would hope that we have our ability to do better than that.
[00:29:02]  Let's go to Matt.
[00:29:05]  Matt Irvine, California, 870 KRLA.
[00:29:09]  Hello, Dennis Prager.
[00:29:11]  Dennis is Matt.
[00:29:12]  Is that me?
[00:29:12]  Yes, yes, sir.
[00:29:13]  Hey, I just want to let you know that my memories of my father and my life have grown sweeter over the years, as opposed to my brothers, who have nothing but mostly bitter things to say about my father.
[00:29:27]  But as I've gotten older, I remember all the sweet things of the family vacations and even church.
[00:29:35]  I believe that you do have a choice.
[00:29:37]  You can either pick the bitter ones or rest on the happy ones.
[00:29:41]  And I chose to rest on the happy ones and pass it on to my children.
[00:29:45]  And the other thing I wanted to say, too, is I appreciate the comment you said about I believe it was your son who said when he thanked you, I think it was graduation for being happy.
[00:29:54]  Oh, no.
[00:29:55]  Yeah.
[00:29:55]  No, no.
[00:29:56]  My big birthday party.
[00:29:57]  Yeah.
[00:29:57]  Yeah.
[00:29:58]  That's right.
[00:29:59]  That had an impact on me.
[00:30:01]  I want my son to say not only that, but other things, but that's right.
[00:30:05]  That's right.
[00:30:07]  That's beautiful.
[00:30:08]  Thank you for telling me that.
[00:30:09]  Yes.
[00:30:09]  Bye, Matt.
[00:30:10]  Thank you very much, Dennis.
[00:30:11]  You're welcome.
[00:30:12]  Yeah, I had mentioned that my 50th birthday party, the one big birthday party I have ever wanted, because I thought 50 is an issue.
[00:30:23]  It is.
[00:30:24]  And my son, then a teenager, got up and I didn't know what he'd say.
[00:30:31]  And he said, I want to thank my father for being a happy man, being a happy dad.
[00:30:36]  It meant a lot to me.
[00:30:37]  It's a big deal to be in a home with happy people, it's a very big deal.
[00:30:42]  1 8 Prager 776.
[00:30:44]  The question on the table is memories, and do they add up?
[00:30:50]  And again, I have to tell you, I tend toward the position that happiness is largely, though not entirely, a decision.
[00:31:03]  That you it is not, I mean, there are people who have ideal circumstances and they're unhappy.
[00:31:10]  So it can't, it's one thing that is clear to me, and this is in my book circumstances do not determine a lot of people's happiness.
[00:31:19]  A lot of people have happy circumstances and they're unhappy, a lot of people have unhappy circumstances and somehow they maintain happiness.
[00:31:28]  But then there is the issue of memories.
[00:31:29]  Now, I'll tell you, it may well be that the ones in happy circumstances who are not happy.
[00:31:34]  May well have unhappy memories that are clouding their ability.
[00:31:38]  That's why Dr. Marmer, the psychiatrist that I have regularly on this hour, the Happiness Hour, speaks about how significant a happy childhood is in later happiness.
[00:31:50]  So obviously, we tap into that later in life.
[00:31:54]  It gives us something.
[00:31:56]  Let's go to Gene in Philadelphia on WNTP in Philly.
[00:32:02]  And Gene, what's happened here?
[00:32:04]  Gene, are you on?
[00:32:05]  I'm here.
[00:32:05]  I'm here.
[00:32:06]  Okay, great.
[00:32:07]  I know that having had a very happy childhood, that has gotten me through a tremendous amount of difficult times and challenges in my adulthood.
[00:32:17]  And I know that close friends who have not had such a happy childhood find it hard to find that optimism for their future.
[00:32:25]  That's a big deal.
[00:32:26]  This is a great call.
[00:32:27]  Yeah, they just don't know how good life can be with that sort of innocence and purity.
[00:32:32]  And so they just can't imagine what life would be like otherwise.
[00:32:36]  And I have that privilege, I guess, of knowing.
[00:32:40]  From my memory, and you know, it's kind of like a micro version of that Christmas remains my favorite holiday.
[00:32:48]  And even though in adulthood, it never matches up to what I had as a child.
[00:32:53]  And I look forward to it all year long, and it's always sort of a disappointment, but I continue to look forward to it because of the memories attached to it and not the experience itself.
[00:33:04]  That is so powerful.
[00:33:07]  That's great.
[00:33:08]  It's a great call.
[00:33:09]  Thank you so much.
[00:33:12]  I think that's a lot of truth to that.
[00:33:16]  Well, it puts a lot of burden on parents to try to make kids' childhood happy, doesn't it?
[00:33:24]  I'm thinking about that.
[00:33:26]  Yep.
[00:33:27]  Yep.
[00:33:28]  Well, but it certainly is an argument about the power of memory.
[00:33:33]  Upland, California, and 870 Carolyn, Nadine, Dennis Prager.
[00:33:39]  Hello, Nadine.
[00:33:39]  Hi, Dennis.
[00:33:41]  Wonderful, wonderful question.
[00:33:43]  Thank you.
[00:33:44]  Absolutely believe it has a lot to do with the strength of my will that I have good memories, but it's more about good memories than.
[00:33:56]  Happy memories.
[00:33:57]  And I don't know if maybe when I was a child.
[00:34:01]  What's the difference between a good memory and a happy memory?
[00:34:04]  I've had a lot of hardship, you know, my share of hardship and pain in my life.
[00:34:11]  But I tend to remember the lesson of the experience.
[00:34:16]  I've learned to appreciate my experience more, the good outcome.
[00:34:23]  So, what you've taken from it is what matters more than what happened.
[00:34:26]  It's a very.
[00:34:27]  That's been mentioned, but you've said it well.
[00:34:29]  We'll be back in a moment.
[00:34:30]  Final segment of the Happiness Hour coming up.
[00:34:32]  This episode of Timeless Wisdom will continue right after this.
[00:34:39]  People are searching for truth in a culture that feels disconnected from it.
[00:34:42]  That's why platforms like Angel exist, offering a space for uplifting entertainment and documentaries, including Homestead, a story centered on family, faith, and resilience, Solo Mio, a lighthearted romantic comedy, David, an animated musical with sweeping storytelling, and The Death of Recess.
[00:34:58]  A documentary exploring concerns around the modern education system.
[00:35:01]  If you're looking for meaningful, values driven content, Angel provides a range of options.
[00:35:06]  Learn more at angel.comslash Prager.
[00:35:11]  Now, back to more of Dennis Prager's Timeless Wisdom.
[00:35:15]  Dennis Prager here, final segment of the Happiness Hour.
[00:35:18]  Don't forget, next hour, by the way.
[00:35:21]  And as soon as this hour is up, you can start calling in any subject on your mind, any, any, anything you'd like to talk about.
[00:35:32]  I'm silent because I'm meditating here, and radio is normally not a time for meditation since silence tends to lose listeners.

=== Children's Memories and Their Joy (03:26) ===

[00:35:40]  But I've got to tell you, this is a big one worthy of a lot of thought.
[00:35:45]  How much do memories contribute to happiness?
[00:35:49]  My theory is, as I tell you, that if they don't, then we all have emotional Alzheimer's and that life doesn't add up to a hill of beans.
[00:35:59]  And I can't believe that, and I refuse to believe that, and I have made a decision not to believe that.
[00:36:05]  It has to matter.
[00:36:08]  Jeff in Fort Worth, Texas.
[00:36:11]  On the case guy in Fort Worth, Jeff Dennis Prager.
[00:36:14]  Hi.
[00:36:15]  Hi.
[00:36:15]  Really enjoy your show.
[00:36:16]  I really enjoyed listening to the Happiness Hour above everything else.
[00:36:19]  Well, thank you.
[00:36:20]  You made some comments earlier about how children's memories interplay with their ability to be happy.
[00:36:28]  You mean as adults?
[00:36:30]  They don't interplay when they're children.
[00:36:32]  Well, what I was going to allude to was that.
[00:36:36]  I have a two year old, and at bedtime, I try to encourage what I hope to be a lifelong tool for her, happiness being a very critical priority of mine that I hope to pass on.
[00:36:50]  Is that at bedtime, it's always a very depressing time for her as a two year old.
[00:36:55]  Already.
[00:36:55]  Yes.
[00:36:56]  And I very quickly try to convert, basically, use that as an opportunity to tell her, well, let's rehearse through the day what you've done that really, really enjoyed, the things that really made you happy.
[00:37:11]  And she is very receptive to that.
[00:37:14]  And it really gets through blood.
[00:37:16]  You know, that's a great idea.
[00:37:18]  I mean, basically, she always starts off in tears, like, oh, I don't want to go to bed.
[00:37:22]  And I'm like, well, Chelsea, just begin.
[00:37:26]  What did you do today that was enjoyable?
[00:37:27]  And as she was younger, I had to do it flat before her because being so young.
[00:37:31]  But she's getting to that age now that she's a participant in this.
[00:37:35]  And she comes up with things of the day.
[00:37:36]  Well, I got to do this.
[00:37:38]  I did that.
[00:37:40]  And it calms her down.
[00:37:42]  It makes her flatly happy.
[00:37:44]  Wow.
[00:37:45]  That's a powerful call.
[00:37:47]  Thank you, Jeff.
[00:37:48]  I got to take.
[00:37:49]  Okay, thank you.
[00:37:50]  That's very powerful.
[00:37:52]  That's a great idea.
[00:37:52]  I wish I had done that with my kids.
[00:37:55]  Well, what happened happy today?
[00:37:58]  Of course, there are kids who will say, nothing.
[00:38:02]  You know, there's no question about it.
[00:38:03]  What do you mean, what happened happy today?
[00:38:05]  I'm going to bed and I don't want to go to bed.
[00:38:08]  Don't bother me with happy memories.
[00:38:10]  But there are a lot of people who are adults like that.
[00:38:14]  Well, I hope I leave you with a very significant idea about the importance of memories.
[00:38:19]  Otherwise, as I say, it doesn't matter whatever happens.
[00:38:22]  Jeff, Paul, Helen, Eric, the other lines that I don't see the names.
[00:38:25]  I wish I could have gotten your calls.
[00:38:27]  Don't go away.
[00:38:28]  You're listening to The Dennis Prager Show.
[00:38:30]  This has been Timeless Wisdom with Dennis Prager.
[00:38:33]  Visit DennisPrager.com for thousands of hours of Dennis's lectures, courses, and classic radio programs, and to purchase Dennis Prager's Rational Bibles.
[00:38:47]  This has been Timeless Wisdom with Dennis Prager.
[00:38:50]  Visit DennisPrager.com for thousands of hours of Dennis's lectures, courses, and classic radio programs, and to purchase Dennis Prager's Rational Bibles.
[00:39:04]  People are searching for truth in a culture that feels disconnected from it.

=== Finding Truth in Disconnected Culture (00:26) ===

[00:39:07]  That's why platforms like Angel exist, offering a space for uplifting entertainment and documentaries, including Homestead, a story centered on family, faith, and resilience.
[00:39:17]  A lighthearted romantic comedy, David, an animated musical with sweeping storytelling, and The Death of Recess, a documentary exploring concerns around the modern education system.
[00:39:26]  If you're looking for meaningful, values driven content, Angel provides a range of options.
[00:39:31]  Learn more at angel.comslash breaker.