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Happiness Beyond Affluence
00:15:18
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|
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| Welcome to Timeless Wisdom with Dennis Prager. | |
| Hear thousands of hours of Dennis' lectures, courses, and classic radio programs. | |
| And to purchase Dennis Prager's rational Bibles, go to dennisprager.com. | |
| On today's episode of Timeless Wisdom. | |
| The irony is your kids will even enjoy you more if you don't depend on them for your happiness. | |
| I enjoy my parents precisely because they do have their own way to entertain themselves. | |
| They don't rely on me. | |
| They rely on my brother. | |
| You don't know how much I enjoyed that line. | |
| You have no idea. | |
| That's coming up on Timeless Wisdom with Dennis Prager. | |
| And it starts right now. | |
| Actually, I do record all my talks. | |
| And there are two reasons. | |
| One is that people do subscribe to my talks and I get them every other month or whenever. | |
| And I have been doing that for about 20 years. | |
| That's, in fact, that's the only reason that I began speaking on happiness is because of my talks that I record. | |
| I should tell you that story. | |
| It's a very lovely story. | |
| How I got into the happiness business, which I considered much of my life to be a gimmick. | |
| I was utterly convinced that anybody who talks or writes about happiness is a snake oil salesman, and they're the only ones who get richer as they get their royalties and speech checks and go to the bank. | |
| But that's how they get happier. | |
| The other people don't get happier. | |
| So I had a very negative view of this whole subject. | |
| I turned out to be dead wrong. | |
| I now realize that happiness is a moral category, not a psychological category. | |
| I mean, you've heard me on this, I'm sure, and I'm not going to develop that theme much, but it is, I meet, when I meet people my age, or really any age, and they have a happy demeanor, do you know that I admire them? | |
| It's like I admire kind people. | |
| I admire bright people if they're bright and kind. | |
| Bright without kindness, I do not admire. | |
| And I'm very serious. | |
| It's no achievement. | |
| But I admire, I admire a great violinist. | |
| I admire people with a cheerful disposition. | |
| Life is tough. | |
| And I have a motto that if pain were water, the earth would drown. | |
| And there's just that much pain in the world. | |
| And that's just a given. | |
| And so I began this thanks to my lectures. | |
| I gave a lecture at UCLA on happiness. | |
| I was sure it was the last time I would ever speak publicly on happiness because it just wasn't one of the lectures I gave. | |
| I recorded it, sent it out to my subscribers, and six months later I got a call from New York City from the articles editor, a woman at Redbook Magazine. | |
| Not a magazine I normally read. | |
| It's a ladies' magazine. | |
| And I let's put it this way: I am to Red Book what you women are to stereophile. | |
| Okay? | |
| I'm as interested in Red Book as you are in my reading as a guy like Stereophile. | |
| But anyway, I got a call. | |
| It's Dennis Prager. | |
| He asked, oh, I finally found you. | |
| I would like you to write an article on happiness for Redbook. | |
| To which I responded, which is not a good sign for my business acumen. | |
| Why me? | |
| In retrospect, I realized she should have hung up. | |
| You know, what do you mean, why you? | |
| If you don't know why you should write an article for Red Book, how the hell am I supposed to know why you should write an article for Redbook? | |
| But I was dead serious. | |
| I said, why me? | |
| And she said, well, I heard your lecture on happiness. | |
| I said, you did? | |
| You subscribed to my lectures? | |
| She said, I never heard of you in my life. | |
| She said, I just happened to be listening in my car one night in New York, and some station was playing your lecture. | |
| Turns out a bunch of crooks at WEVD in New York, with no permission. | |
| I mean, you know what the FCC could have sued, find them out of business, with no permission, nothing. | |
| Spent an hour broadcasting my lecture. | |
| Anyway, thank God for these crooks. | |
| I'm not kidding. | |
| These crooks shaped my life and have done great help to you who take my words on happiness seriously and to me who goes to the bank. | |
| No, no, no, it's just kidding. | |
| Anyway, partially. | |
| And so, anyway, they played my talk. | |
| She said, I sat in my car just to hear, who is this guy? | |
| This is fantastic stuff. | |
| So they mentioned your name. | |
| Thank God they at least did that. | |
| And I looked you up. | |
| I finally found you, and I'd like you to write a piece. | |
| So I said, okay. | |
| She said, is $3,000 okay? | |
| Now, I always tell this, I had been writing for many journals, but not like Redbook. | |
| For example, commentary. | |
| And whenever I would write for commentary, I was paid with six copies of commentary. | |
| That was my payment, you know, to give to friends. | |
| You know, hey, want to see his latest commentary? | |
| $3,000. | |
| And I remember feeling we should all live so long as I remember thinking I was right. | |
| The only people who get happier from writing on happiness are the authors. | |
| $3,000, and this is 20 years ago. | |
| So I said, fine, look, the woman could have said $11.15. | |
| I would have said yes. | |
| In fact, probably I would have done it for six copies of Redbook. | |
| Anyway, it got published, and then Reader's Digest published it in its editions around the world. | |
| And then I got calls from places to write a book, and the rest is history, as it were. | |
| But it all began because I record my lectures. | |
| That's how I remember to tell you this. | |
| So you never know. | |
| You never know where they go. | |
| There's a second reason, though, that I do. | |
| I'm so often misquoted that it is critical for me to have everything that I say quoted. | |
| So let me talk to you about the time we're in and the issue of happiness in no order of importance. | |
| I feel very, very vindicated by everything that I wrote in my book on happiness and everything I've said to you on the happiness hour. | |
| See, it's one thing you might think to be happy in a time of affluence. | |
| It's easy to talk about happiness when people aren't worrying financially. | |
| They have other worries in life, but at least not financially. | |
| But with a real downturn, now are my theories accurate or not? | |
| This is when they're tested. | |
| And I feel utterly vindicated by every single thing that I have talked about, including what I wrote. | |
| You don't have to trust that I said this. | |
| What I wrote about money in my book on happiness. | |
| I'll tell you exactly what I wrote. | |
| I said this. | |
| Happiness, excuse me, money makes the happy happier and makes the unhappy unhappier. | |
| This episode of Timeless Wisdom will continue right after this. | |
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| Now, back to more of Dennis Prager's Timeless Wisdom. | |
| And that's all it does. | |
| And I want to explain, and it's again, it's in the book, so I couldn't make this up. | |
| Money has the following rule. | |
| If you are essentially happy, then you gain more money. | |
| That's wonderful. | |
| You know what to do with it. | |
| You spend it wisely. | |
| You didn't rely on it to be happy. | |
| But now that you have it, it's a real bonus in life. | |
| Wow, in addition to all of what I have going on in my life and in my own attitude toward life, now I have some money. | |
| So it will make the happy happier. | |
| But it will not make the unhappy happier. | |
| It will make the unhappy unhappier. | |
| And the reason is this. | |
| Many unhappy people think that if they got money, then that would solve their problems. | |
| Then they would be happy. | |
| And that happens sometimes where the unhappy do get money. | |
| I mean, in the normal scheme of things in American life, people do get money. | |
| You just buy a simple house, it appreciated in value for decades, correct? | |
| So people had money. | |
| They took their equity, they spent it, they went on trips, they bought things, and so on. | |
| But they didn't get any happier. | |
| In fact, they got more unhappy because the thing they thought would give them happiness didn't. | |
| Then you're doomed. | |
| See, the rich unhappy have it the worst. | |
| They have nothing to look forward to. | |
| The poor unhappy can fantasize that if they were rich, they would be happy. | |
| So if the poor, unhappy get richer and they don't get any happier, they're in really bad straits. | |
| The thing that I was sure was the only obstacle between me and happiness turns out not to be helpful at all. | |
| And then they get more unhappy. | |
| So happiness and money do not have a direct relationship. | |
| I learned this, and we were talking about this at the table, our Cindy, the trips that we've taken, like you're going to West Africa now. | |
| I have been to now 90 countries. | |
| That's a lot of travel. | |
| I've been abroad every single year since I'm 20, which is only 20 years ago, but still it's a lot of travel. | |
| And I have seen a lot of the world. | |
| Much of the travel, of course, is to third world countries. | |
| I remember my first trip to India was life-changing. | |
| And it was life-changing because of all the happy Indians I met. | |
| After all, I had been taught that if you live in abject poverty, you have to be depressed. | |
| And I saw kids who were semi-naked running around. | |
| They were laughing and less jaded than the average middle-class American kid was. | |
| The dour faces you see on a lot of American kids, I didn't see on Indian kids. | |
| Now, I don't want to romanticize life in India. | |
| That's not my point at all. | |
| They would like more money, believe me, they'd like to have a roof that didn't leak, and they would like to be treated by a doctor. | |
| Of course, of course, and I want them to be. | |
| I'm not saying it's a source of their happiness. | |
| I said that they were able to be happy, to have a joie de vivre, a joy of life, despite their circumstances. | |
| I have found in my life, whether in the middle of the richest part of earth, in Southern California and New York, or in the poorest parts of the world, I have found that the linkage between money and happiness is minimal. | |
| Obviously, there is a level of poverty where life is just so awful. | |
| Of course, it matters. | |
| But beyond that, it seems to matter quite little. | |
| My grandparents were extremely poor, extremely poor. | |
| And I don't know if their happiness level was one bit different than their children or their grandchildren. | |
| People find reasons to be unhappy. | |
| Have you ever noticed that? | |
| Somebody once told me that problems are like gases. | |
| A little gas fills a room, and a big gas fills a room. | |
| So that if your problem is little, it fills up your whole brain. | |
| And if your problem is big, it fills up your whole brain. | |
| That somehow we figure out a way to be miserable no matter what. | |
| And that is true. | |
| And sometimes, by the way, it's a legitimate reason. | |
| I'm not saying that it isn't, but legitimate or not is a very subjective thing. | |
| So what is happening, I think when I talk to people, look, a lot of you are hurting right now. | |
| I'm hurting right now. | |
| They're hurting right now, I think, at least one of you so acknowledged. | |
| And yet, you know, I look at you. | |
| You came this evening. | |
| I don't think that you have sunk into a depression. | |
| You probably wouldn't have come if you were. | |
| Somehow life goes on, doesn't it? | |
| Somehow you watch your portfolio sink to very small numbers that you can't believe in. | |
| You know you're going to have to work more years. | |
| But somehow or other, you're capable of going on. | |
| I'm capable of going on. | |
| Everybody else is. | |
| And that's because we have reservoirs of strength and reservoirs of happiness providers that transcend money. | |
| I'm not minimizing the role of money. | |
| Money gives you security. | |
| Money gives you the opportunity to get the best health care. | |
| It gives you the opportunity to take care of a relative who is sick, and whether it's a parent or a child or a nephew or niece, whatever it might be. | |
| Money used properly is a wonderful, wonderful thing. | |
| People can then go and cruise around the world with me and see these wonderful places. | |
| And I do think that that adds to their happiness. | |
| I don't knock it. | |
| I just say it isn't nearly as important. | |
|
Don't Put Eggs In One Basket
00:15:31
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|
| And I've always said this. | |
| That's why I have credibility with you right now. | |
| I'm not saying it to make you feel good. | |
| I said it when you were rich. | |
| That's the point. | |
| I'm not changing my work. | |
| My message on happiness is identical today to what it was when people and I were doing much better. | |
| I knew then, as I know now, that the sources of happiness are minimally material and maximally other things because of all the wealthy people I had met who were troubled, who were unhappy, all the people not living with much who seemed to have had a greater joy of life. | |
| And so it turns out to be true. | |
| And you will find that in this case, however long it lasts. | |
| I'll give you another thing that I said on the radio on a happiness hour. | |
| I did one happiness hour I'll never forget on the subject of one way to stay happy is to think about the question, you know, well, what if it really did get bad? | |
| I always do that. | |
| And I even said then, I said, folks, it could happen. | |
| I mean, this is recorded. | |
| You could probably order it. | |
| And I remember saying on the air, I said, folks, I may lose my house. | |
| This was when my house was doing great. | |
| There was no reason to think of this. | |
| But it could happen. | |
| I knew it could happen. | |
| This doesn't shock me, this situation. | |
| It's not shocking. | |
| It happens. | |
| What was shocking was how long things were good. | |
| That was the shock. | |
| Troubles are the norm in human existence, not the shock. | |
| And so I said, let's say, okay, I'm evicted from my house. | |
| Okay, so I will live in a small apartment. | |
| I can handle it. | |
| I said it then. | |
| I said it then on the air. | |
| That is the way I think. | |
| Now, there are minimums in my life that I don't know. | |
| In other words, if I truly lost my health, would I still be cheerful? | |
| I mean, if I were in constant pain, could not work, could not speak. | |
| I mean, I can envision times where I would say the quality of my life has sunk to such a so low level that I'm fooling myself with some cheer. | |
| Of course, I'm not a robot. | |
| But money is not one of them. | |
| Health may well be the one, but money is not one of them. | |
| Money is a problem. | |
| Money isn't a life killer. | |
| It isn't a happiness killer. | |
| This episode of Timeless Wisdom will continue right after this. | |
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| Now, back to more of Dennis Prager's Timeless Wisdom. | |
| I would argue, in fact, that for a lot of people, where did I, I heard a survey was taken, and it turned out the reporter reporting this was shocked. | |
| It turned out that Americans were actually more grateful now on some grateful, some gratitude scale than they had been when the study was done 10 years earlier, and everything was much more hunky-dory financially. | |
| And by the way, gratitude is the mother of happiness. | |
| Gratitude is the mother of goodness. | |
| Gratitude is the most important single human trait. | |
| And so, if gratitude has arisen, then I'll bet you some happiness has with all of our problems. | |
| Now, isn't that interesting? | |
| Why are people more grateful today? | |
| You should think quite the opposite. | |
| Because we know that anything that happened to my neighbor could happen to me. | |
| We are now thankful for just about any job. | |
| Look, I'm still employed. | |
| You know how many people say that to me? | |
| Look, we're still in business. | |
| I'm still employed. | |
| People didn't say that five years ago. | |
| They were lamenting that they weren't CEOs or they were lamenting that they didn't have a 50% higher income. | |
| Now people are just thrilled they have an income. | |
| So, ironically, there are actually reasons to assume that at this very moment, the happiness level of the American people may have increased. | |
| The worried level is increased. | |
| Yes, but that doesn't necessarily mean that the unhappiness level has increased. | |
| People also know now how to get a little, how to get happy on littler things. | |
| Things that they thought they really needed to be happy, they may not need. | |
| They may not need a luxury car. | |
| They may not need the finest restaurant. | |
| And I want restaurants to stay in business. | |
| I want luxury cars. | |
| One of my sponsors makes luxury cars, and they're the best. | |
| But people do understand now that, hey, wait, what I thought was necessary turns out not to have been so necessary. | |
| What really matters is friends. | |
| What really matters is love. | |
| What really matters is if you have religion, religion, and God, and there's still books to be read, and there's still music to be listened to. | |
| Which brings me to the third thing that I often talk about on the happiness hour. | |
| You never put all your happiness eggs in one basket. | |
| And what have they talked about today but not putting all your financial eggs in one basket? | |
| See, isn't it ironic? | |
| There's a real parallel there. | |
| Don't never put all your happiness eggs in one basket. | |
| And I'll give you the classic example: the people who put all their happiness eggs in their children. | |
| Even if your children turn out great, it's a bad idea. | |
| It is. | |
| It's a terrible idea. | |
| First of all, it's not fair to your children. | |
| Do you want to be the happiness, 100% of the happiness to your parents? | |
| I don't want that burden. | |
| And thank God, my parents are still living. | |
| My father, the other day, my father, you probably heard him on his birthday. | |
| My father's a big philosopher. | |
| And my father said the other day on the phone, in fact, Sue heard it, my wife, Sue. | |
| And I should introduce you. | |
| My wife, Sue, would you please stand, Sue? | |
| So she heard my father say, and it's very funny for your own parent to say this, you know, children are terrific. | |
| Children, grandchildren are nice, great-grandchildren. | |
| It's really wonderful. | |
| But the biggest source of happiness in my life is my wife. | |
| Right? | |
| And he's right. | |
| He's right. | |
| You don't want the biggest source of happiness in your life to be your children. | |
| Because I don't want to be the biggest source of happiness in my parents' life. | |
| So put the shoe on the other foot. | |
| It's too big a burden to place on your child. | |
| That's a tough thing to do, especially traditional. | |
| American culture is much more capable of living by this than traditional culture. | |
| Traditional cultures put all their eggs in the children basket. | |
| And it had terrible impact. | |
| That's why people came to the United States. | |
| They didn't want some of those old-fashioned ideas like you live for your child. | |
| If you live for your child, it's not good for your child. | |
| Okay? | |
| So, not to say that they can't be sources of pleasure and joy or grandchildren, I'm told, you know, it's like that's the best thing, you know, since sliced bread and so on. | |
| And that's great. | |
| But there are, you can't put your eggs in any, all your eggs in any happiness basket. | |
| The irony, by the way, is the irony is your kids will even enjoy you more if you don't depend on them for your happiness. | |
| I enjoy my parents precisely because they do have their own way to entertain themselves. | |
| They don't rely on me. | |
| They rely on my brother. | |
| You don't know how much I enjoyed that line. | |
| You have no idea. | |
| I will prove it to you. | |
| This is going to crack you up. | |
| There are two of us. | |
| They have two children, my parents, my brother and myself. | |
| So my brother and I have identical voices. | |
| I mean, it's eerie. | |
| So much so when I visit him, my brother is a prominent physician in New York at Columbia Presbyterian Hospital. | |
| And he's a professor of medicine at Columbia University. | |
| And whenever I have visited him and just start talking, people would say, Oh, Dr. Prager's here. | |
| If they didn't see the face, and if they'd see the face, they'd almost get scared. | |
| That's how similar the voice is. | |
| My parents often can't tell the difference. | |
| So I call up. | |
| This happened about a year ago. | |
| I call up and I go, Hi, Ma. | |
| And my mother says, Oh, Kenny. | |
| And I decided, yeah, I'll play along. | |
| So this was revelatory. | |
| This was revelatory. | |
| So I said, Yeah, this is Kenny. | |
| And then my mother goes into a two-minute description of all the ailments that she has. | |
| And I realized my brother has a different mother than I do. | |
| It's a phenomenon. | |
| It was a phenomenon. | |
| I am sitting there going, Oh my God, I didn't know that. | |
| No kidding. | |
| Really? | |
| Wow. | |
| When she thinks it's Dennis, it goes like this: Ma, how you doing? | |
| Great, great. | |
| Everything's how you're feeling. | |
| I feel great. | |
| But my brother is a doctor. | |
| So he gets every bloody ailment my mother has, everything that aches in her body. | |
| It's a totally different world. | |
| So it was just, it was a phenomenon. | |
| I now only say it's Dennis. | |
| The second I call, I go, it's Dennis, Ma, it's Dennis. | |
| Okay. | |
| I told my brother to say he's Dennis, and it would be, but he has, I don't know if he's done that. | |
| You can't put all your eggs, all your happiness eggs in one basket. | |
| The more, and again, I'm only, I made a talk for you tonight based on everything that I have said when things were great for people. | |
| Okay, just want you to understand that. | |
| The theories are being tested now and they're coming through. | |
| And so I said, maximize the areas of life that bring you joy. | |
| Maximize them. | |
| The more that brings you joy, reading, music, travel, friends, religion, spouse, every whatever, maximize those things. | |
| Use them. | |
| There should be very many baskets where happiness can be derived from in life. | |
| If it's only one place, and God forbid it was money, then you're doomed. | |
| Then you really are doomed. | |
| By the way, even if you get rich and money is a big, big basket for your eggs, you're finished because you will spend your life worrying. | |
| Friends that I have who are preoccupied, who have been preoccupied with the market, even when they were doing well, they were preoccupied. | |
| I followed my grandfather's advice. | |
| I said this on the air too. | |
| It didn't help because I had real estate. | |
| So I was killed there. | |
| But I never, I bought one stock in my entire life. | |
| Actually, I didn't buy it. | |
| I was given it when I left ABC, was owned by Disney. | |
| Disney gave me stock. | |
| I have no idea what it's doing. | |
| But that's it. | |
| I am one of the only people in my socioeconomic status who didn't buy stocks. | |
| I'm not proud of it. | |
| It's not here or there, but I know what it came from. | |
| A, I'm not interested terribly in money. | |
| So long as I have enough to live on, I have always been very, very grateful. | |
| I'm not even, I'm not proud of that. | |
| I should have been more preoccupied in my life with it, but in any event, that's my nature. | |
| But my grandfather, who lost a lot in the Depression and whom I loved very much, would say to me, Dennis, actually called me Denila. | |
| Denela, if you want, never buy stocks. | |
| If you want to gamble, go to the racetrack. | |
| It's more honest. | |
| And for whatever reason, it stayed in my mind. | |
| Not that I go to the racetrack because I don't have a big gambling instinct, but be that as it may, my friends who were preoccupied with stocks and who really knew the market and first thing every day got some either email or before email. | |
| Look at the paper on the market page. | |
| They didn't sleep well. | |
| So what's the good? | |
| What was the happiness? | |
| I kept thinking, what's your stocks are going up, but you're not very happy. | |
| You're worried. | |
| And the first thing you look at every day is, how did my stock do? | |
| So it's not, it's like if your children, even if they're wonderful, don't put all your eggs in the children's basket. | |
| Even if your stocks are doing well, don't put all your stocks in the money basket. | |
| This episode of Timeless Wisdom will continue right after this. | |
| As Passover approaches, Salem is offering my rational Passover Haggadah for 50% off at the Prager store. | |
| The Haggadah is the book used for the most widely celebrated Jewish ritual, now increasingly celebrated by Christians, by the way, the Passover Seder. | |
| The Rational Passover Haggadah is intended to serve as a guide to life, God, Judaism, and the evening's service, the Seder. | |
| Biblical and sacred texts need to be explained in a rational manner and made relevant. | |
| You will find topics that raise some great issues of life, ranging from questions like, Does God answer our prayers? | |
| To. | |
| Is it possible to reconcile a good God with unjust suffering, whether or not you attend a seder? | |
| This book is meant for people of all faiths, and even those with no faith. | |
| Get the rational Passover haggadah for 50 percent off. | |
| Go to Pragerstore.com or click the banner at Dennisprager.com. | |
| Now back to more of Dennis Prager's timeless wisdom. | |
| So joy wherever you can find it. | |
| Uh, don't rely on money for happiness. | |
| Don't put all your happiness eggs in any one basket. | |
| Have this newfound gratitude that has come uh, to a lot of people realizing, wow, I am lucky, I am still working, or I I, I didn't have to foreclose. | |
| And if you did have to foreclose, you're not in the street. | |
| It's a shame, it's sad, but it's sad. | |
| So congratulations. | |
| Who doesn't have sadness in one way or another way? | |
| And finally, let me just end with a general statement that I I, I can't. | |
| The older I get, the more I, I realize I have worked out in my own life and I commend it to you. | |
| This is very hard for many. | |
| You have happiness must come from your mind. | |
| We think of happiness as a feeling. | |
| We should think of happiness instead as an attitude or a philosophy. | |
| If you rely on your feelings to tell you whether you're happy or not. | |
|
Happiness Comes From Your Mind
00:02:44
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| You will be a roller coaster because in any given day, you will, in any given day, forget any given decade. | |
| In any given day, you will be up and down. | |
| You wake up feeling one way. | |
| In the middle of the day, you feel another. | |
| Something bad happens. | |
| You feel bad. | |
| Something good happens, you feel good. | |
| You go to bed and something else happened, and then you think in bed and then you wake up at night you go nuts, which is what a lot of people do, go nuts. | |
| I advocate the power of your mind over your brain. | |
| The brain is the seat of feelings. | |
| The mind is the seat of reason. | |
| And I have given so many examples. | |
| Let me give you one that I know I use, and I'm very good at this. | |
| I'm blessed. | |
| But I've also, I have a very, very powerful, I don't mean great mind, I mean powerful mind. | |
| I started very early in life being very mind-centered. | |
| And I believe in the compartmentalization theory of problems, even tragedies in life. | |
| The reason that the Titanic sank was that the compartment doors broke, the walls between the compartments. | |
| It was supposed to be able to contain water in compartments A, B, and C, and they were supposed to be watertight so the boat wouldn't sink. | |
| But unfortunately, the gash was so great that the water went through the ship because they couldn't be contained. | |
| You will sink if you cannot contain your problems. | |
| They have to be allowed to stay in a compartment. | |
| Now, you will say, very nice, easy to say, not so easy to do. | |
| That may well be. | |
| But you have no choice if you want to stay afloat. | |
| You have no choice. | |
| If there is a real given pain in your life, a parent, a child, a bad marriage, a financial, whatever it might be, you have to be able to know it's there, but not let it toxify the rest of your mind by allowing the walls to crumble between the containers and thereby sink your ship of life. | |
| You have to do that. | |
| And that's where you train your mind. | |
| You work, again, a good way to do it is maximize the good things. | |
|
Problems Come With Big Blessings
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| Everyone who has a big problem also has big blessings. | |
| Everyone I know, I can't say everyone on earth. | |
| If you're in North Korea, I assure you, life is more bad than good. | |
| I would not give this speech in North Korea. | |
| Okay, I know that. | |
| We're very blessed not to be living in a North Korea-like place. | |
| But for those of us here, I can say that for the vast majority of us, we have more blessings than curses in our life. | |
| Don't let the curse get you. | |
| And I'll conclude with one of the chapters in the book, and I don't even have it here to sell, which gives you an idea of what a businessman I am. | |
| But I have in it, and I know from people's reactions, it's very interesting how often they cite this chapter as having particularly touched them. | |
| What I call the missing tile syndrome. | |
| Now, this ceiling is not tiles, but if it were, if this ceiling were perfect, just as it is now, but one tile on the entire ceiling of a thousand tiles were missing, what would you stare at? | |
| Exactly. | |
| Now, that's okay for ceilings because you can get that tile, put it up, and then it's perfect. | |
| But it's not good for your life. | |
| If you stare at what's missing, you're doomed. | |
| Everyone has missing tiles. | |
| Everyone. | |
| There is no human since Adam without missing tiles. | |
| And it could be little things and it could be big things. | |
| Women who have no children want to get a child, they're consumed with missing a child and believe everybody has a child. | |
| I learned about the missing tile syndrome from a bald man, as it happened. | |
| A bald man about 30 years ago said to me, you know, Dennis, every time I walk into a room, all I see is hair. | |
| It was a phenomenal, illuminating observation for me. | |
| I never see hair. | |
| If I were at a table, I'm serious, if I were at a table with eight men and I spent an hour talking over dinner with them and then you called me over afterwards, said, Dennis, we will shoot you if you don't tell us which one was bald. | |
| I'd be shot because it doesn't mean a thing to me. | |
| 50 other things about a group of men make an impact on me, but not whether they have hair. | |
| But the guy who doesn't have hair, he'll know everyone at that table who had hair. | |
| There are women who walk into a room and all they see are slim thighs. | |
| The world consists of thin thighs. | |
| That's all they see in any given room. | |
| This is the human nature. | |
| We dwell on what we think or really is missing. | |
| You can't do that. | |
| It is missing. | |
| Everyone has that. | |
| But you probably have more tiles that are there than that are. | |
| These are the ways one copes with a difficult time. | |
| And frankly, that's what it is for most of us. | |
| It's difficult. | |
| It isn't a trauma. | |
| It's difficult. | |
| None of you invested with Bernie Madoff. | |
| For that alone, you should be grateful. | |
| Thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you. | |
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A Word of Encouragement
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| Tomorrow, Un Timeless Wisdom with Dennis Prager. | |
| Whenever I speak about men and women, I offer this thought that if we could swap brains for a day, men with women and women with men, this is what would happen. | |
| Women would take a man's brain and just go, I can't believe it. | |
| Nothing is happening. | |
| Join us tomorrow to hear more on Timeless Wisdom with Dennis Prager. | |
| This has been Timeless Wisdom with Dennis Prager. | |
| Visit DennisPrager.com for thousands of hours of Dennis' lectures, courses, and classic radio programs and to purchase Dennis Prager's rational Bibles. | |
| In times like these, we all need a word of encouragement. | |
| From pastor and best-selling author Max Lucato comes the Max Lucato Encouraging Word podcast with over 40 years of ministry and more than 145 million books sold in 50 languages. | |
| Max shares the greatest story ever told, the living savior who brings hope for a lifetime. | |
| Through rich biblical insight, heartfelt storytelling, you'll be reminded that God is always near, always for you, and always in you. | |
| Listen to the Max Lucato Encouraging Word Podcast, where hope meets your day. | |
| Subscribe now wherever you get your podcasts. | |