Dennis Prager Show - Taking Your Calls: Dating Red or Yellow Flags
Aired: 2024-05-30
Duration: 05:08


=== Engaged Seven Times? (05:08) ===

[00:00:00]  All right, let me take your calls here, and I'm interested in every aspect.
[00:00:04]  If you're dating, what's a red or yellow flag?
[00:00:08]  But if you're married, did you miss a yellow or red flag?
[00:00:14]  That's a good one.
[00:00:17]  All right!
[00:00:19]  Marie in Minneapolis.
[00:00:21]  Hello, Marie.
[00:00:23]  Oh, hello, Dennis.
[00:00:25]  Yes, so my first husband.
[00:00:29]  It was, I'll list it off for you.
[00:00:32]  Alcohol use, expletive use, erratic behavior, was a gypsy.
[00:00:38]  He didn't have his green card, entered this country illegally, but he was smart, well-read, well-traveled.
[00:00:47]  You know, you would meet him at a party, and he was the life of the party.
[00:00:51]  He was romantic, chivalrous, wanted kids, but what I thought was head trauma.
[00:00:58]  It was probably a little bit of mental illness.
[00:01:02]  And I had been engaged seven times before I finally married him, and my mom was kind of pushing me because I was 34, had never been married and never had kids.
[00:01:13]  I took the leap of faith and got pregnant on our wedding night, and then again, and then he took his own life.
[00:01:23]  2016, but he had abandoned us after I let him back into the country.
[00:01:29]  But my point was that despite that I saw all those red flags, I really saw the good in him.
[00:01:37]  And there were many good things.
[00:01:40]  And I thought, oh, well, maybe if he had a drink card, it would be different.
[00:01:43]  You know, even though he drank, he wasn't drunk.
[00:01:47]  He was South African, so it's kind of the lifestyle over there.
[00:01:50]  But the red flags were all there, and those red flags are a little bit in my daughter's.
[00:01:57]  So I'm certainly paying the price, but I don't think I would change anything because I have two beautiful children.
[00:02:05]  You never remarried?
[00:02:07]  Oh, yes.
[00:02:08]  The day he abandoned me, the next day I met my current husband, who is St. Joseph in all the ways that you could ever imagine.
[00:02:19]  It's quite extraordinary.
[00:02:21]  Well, you know, among the many reactions I have is you're a living example of something I believe as strongly as I believe that I'm speaking to you now.
[00:02:33]  Everyone has an incredibly interesting biography in them, or autobiography, if you will.
[00:02:43]  Your story is mesmerizing.
[00:02:46]  I didn't interrupt you, and I actually bit through my lip so hard I'm bleeding.
[00:02:53]  I so wanted to say, when you said you were engaged seven times, I wanted to say, you were engaged seven times?
[00:03:02]  How does that even happen?
[00:03:05]  You don't have to answer it now, because we don't have the time, but I just want to tell you, that really took my breath away.
[00:03:12]  You're the first that I've met who was engaged seven times.
[00:03:17]  How long were you two married?
[00:03:21]  Well, total three years, which produced two children.
[00:03:26]  So you said, I'm very curious, are these two daughters, is that right?
[00:03:31]  Mm-hmm.
[00:03:32]  Yeah.
[00:03:32]  They're almost like...
[00:03:33]  An uncle twin, 15 months apart.
[00:03:36]  When he entered back into the country, that's when...
[00:03:39]  Well, when I left South Africa, that's how I got the second baby.
[00:03:43]  All right, well, that's not my question.
[00:03:45]  My question is, you said something to the effect that they had some of his characteristics.
[00:03:56]  Probably both of mine, but I've always had a job, an employee of the month, high-achieving.
[00:04:02]  And he was many...
[00:04:05]  No, no, no, wait.
[00:04:05]  Do they have any of his problematic characteristics?
[00:04:09]  Yes, yes.
[00:04:10]  Like, do they drink?
[00:04:12]  Yes.
[00:04:13]  No.
[00:04:14]  Well, the middle child, she's only 15, but I know the experiments.
[00:04:17]  How do you have a middle child if there were two of them?
[00:04:22]  Because the third child came from my second husband.
[00:04:25]  I see, okay.
[00:04:26]  The third girl.
[00:04:28]  Alright, so I have one more question because I've got to go to other callers.
[00:04:32]  I have to admit, you're fascinating to me.
[00:04:35]  So what lesson would you learn that you would pass on to women dating?
[00:04:39]  If the man drinks, say goodbye?
[00:04:45]  I let go of a lot of things as a devout Catholic my whole life.
[00:04:50]  I had a list.
[00:04:51]  I had been around.
[00:04:52]  I had wonderful people that I was engaged with before.
[00:04:55]  But at 19, I wasn't ready to get married.
[00:04:57]  At 22, I wasn't ready.
[00:04:59]  But I felt like my dad had passed.
[00:05:03]  All right.
[00:05:04]  Okay.
[00:05:04]  Listen, thank you.
[00:05:05]  Bless you.
[00:05:06]  I'm glad you're married to St. Joseph.