Dennis Prager Show - Why You Need Shock Absorbers
Aired: 2021-04-10
Duration: 09:41


=== Developing Life's Shock Absorbers (09:41) ===

[00:00:00]  Happiness Hour is brought to you by Dennis Prager every single week.
[00:00:05]  No exception.
[00:00:07]  Not COVID. Not 9-11.
[00:00:13]  What else can I think of?
[00:00:14]  Those were the two biggest challenges.
[00:00:19]  Say it again?
[00:00:21]  I do the plagues.
[00:00:24]  I usually do the plagues.
[00:00:30]  Oh yes, whether they're a vermin or lice or the smiting of the firstborn.
[00:00:35]  Hey, by the way, isn't that a great word?
[00:00:38]  Have you ever seen the word smite outside of the Bible?
[00:00:44]  I think we should reinvigorate the word like in sports.
[00:00:50]  Yeah, the Dodgers smote the pirates.
[00:00:57]  Not smited.
[00:00:59]  Smote.
[00:01:03]  Very important subject, happiness.
[00:01:05]  Happy make the world better, the unhappy make it worse.
[00:01:08]  I have a big subject for you today.
[00:01:11]  So big, it could be life-changing.
[00:01:16]  I know I've said that on about 282 occasions, and they've all been true.
[00:01:24]  My subject today is shock absorbers.
[00:01:32]  There's an interesting moment in my life when Dr. Stephen Marmer, the professor of psychiatry at UCLA, who's periodically on the show and has done a number of PragerU videos, at some point, and I think it was on the air, said to me, you, Dennis, have very good shock absorbers.
[00:01:53]  And he's known me for 30 years.
[00:01:55]  He knows me well and is a psychiatrist.
[00:02:01]  And he is right.
[00:02:04]  So I'd like to offer you some thoughts on shock absorbers.
[00:02:12]  One, I assume to a certain extent they're built in.
[00:02:16]  And some people have, like anything else, they may be partially built in and partially absent by your nature.
[00:02:31]  Just like a musical ability is built in, but even if you don't have great musical ability, you can play an instrument.
[00:02:48]  Virtually every human can learn to play an instrument, and nicely.
[00:02:54]  But obviously some will become great.
[00:03:01]  Okay, so whether your nature has shock absorbers or not, I have some advice.
[00:03:08]  Life gives you shocks.
[00:03:11]  Life produces shocks.
[00:03:15]  So one way of looking at how one deals with life and the happiness level possible to attain is how do you deal with the shocks of life?
[00:03:28]  I know nobody Who has been exempt from shocks?
[00:03:33]  Do you?
[00:03:37]  It seems like there might be people who are, when you think of, you know, maybe the super rich.
[00:03:44]  But you don't know.
[00:03:45]  We don't know their lives.
[00:03:46]  And then you find out, oh, they lost a child through a drug overdose.
[00:03:49]  Or they have no relationship with a child.
[00:03:57]  Any number of possible things.
[00:04:03]  Shock.
[00:04:04]  So you need shock absorbers.
[00:04:08]  So here is my biggest piece of advice.
[00:04:12]  Most people develop shock absorbers after the shock.
[00:04:18]  The trick is to develop shock absorbers before the shock.
[00:04:25]  Right?
[00:04:27]  Your car has shock absorbers.
[00:04:29]  It doesn't wait until it goes over a bump.
[00:04:33]  One of those often moronic speed bumps.
[00:04:41]  When they build those speed bumps, by the way, do they think about fire trucks?
[00:04:50]  And how it slows them down or makes...
[00:04:55]  Their ride that much more difficult.
[00:04:57]  But anyway, so think of the speed bump.
[00:05:01]  If your car has no shock absorbers, unless you're going two miles per hour, some people do, usually the ones with the most expensive cars, you will feel the shock tremendously.
[00:05:17]  So you have to put in the car shock absorbers before they get to the speed bumps.
[00:05:25]  What are some shock absorbers in advance?
[00:05:29]  Believe it or not, I believe that they are largely philosophical.
[00:05:36]  Well, let me put it to you this way.
[00:05:38]  That is how I have built my shock absorbers.
[00:05:43]  And given what Dr. Marmer said to me, which I know to be true, that I have good shock absorbers, I'd like to tell you what has helped me develop mine.
[00:05:56]  They're in, to a certain extent, they're in my book on happiness.
[00:05:59]  Happiness is a serious problem.
[00:06:03]  Which I wrote now, let's see, about 22 years ago.
[00:06:08]  Happiness is a permanent subject.
[00:06:10]  The book is not in any way dated.
[00:06:13]  Anyway, I write all my books not to be dated.
[00:06:17]  So here's an example of a way to...
[00:06:27]  I knew from a very early age that life will not be easy.
[00:06:39]  That I and everyone else will get real speed bumps in our lives.
[00:06:50]  One of the worst things about Shocks is that they shock you.
[00:06:59]  There are like two definitions in the shock absorbers, in the shock word.
[00:07:05]  So people are surprised.
[00:07:08]  For example, I'll give you a religious example, and I have to say this is sad to me because I'm religious.
[00:07:15]  And this is true for Jews and Christians.
[00:07:19]  The two groups I know best.
[00:07:23]  And that is, there are people who, religious people, who expect that given their fervent and honest and sincere and deep religiosity, that will protect them from shocks.
[00:07:41]  Then they get one, and they're less prepared than secular people.
[00:07:49]  I don't think secular people...
[00:07:51]  Tend to walk around thinking that they will not get shocked.
[00:07:59]  That they are protected somehow.
[00:08:04]  So they have to develop ways of protecting themselves.
[00:08:09]  Whereas the religious very often think they won't even get the shock.
[00:08:16]  I'm religious.
[00:08:18]  I won't get cancer.
[00:08:21]  I'm religious.
[00:08:24]  I won't lose a child.
[00:08:27]  And you just fill in the rest of the sentence after the words, I'm religious.
[00:08:34]  Those are people who not only do not develop shock absorbers, they open themselves up to terrible pain from the bumps of life.
[00:08:51]  I have never, and anyone who's listened to me knows my deep commitment to God and to religion, but I have never thought for a moment that God will protect me more than the next guy from a drunk driver or cancer.
[00:09:11]  He might, but I have no reason to believe that he would.
[00:09:20]  And those who believe that, how do you account for the next guy having tragedy in his or her life?
[00:09:29]  They weren't religious enough?
[00:09:31]  God ignored them?
[00:09:35]  Developing shock absorbers is the topic.
[00:09:39]  I will continue and take your calls.