| Time | Text |
|---|---|
|
Marriage Expectations
00:05:23
|
|
| Were you or are you in a marriage? | |
| Now you may not even be able. | |
| Well, yeah, you would be able. | |
| Were you or are you in a marriage in which one party thinks things are fine and the other one thinks things are pretty awful? | |
| This came about after a discussion of Were you shocked when your spouse left? | |
| I think most people think that if there's a divorce, the couple were having trouble and it finally ended the marriage, right? | |
| That's how most people think about a couple that divorces. | |
| Well, you know, it didn't happen overnight. | |
| It was a gradual erosion of respect, love, liking, and whatever it was that eroded. | |
| So I posed the question on a previous male-female hour, were you shocked when your partner decided to leave? | |
| So that raises a related question, and that's the one I want to talk about now. | |
| Not were you shocked when your partner left, but rather, Are you or were you, I guess it's related if it's the were you part, in a marriage where one party thought things were fine and the other one thought things were awful? | |
| 1-8 Prager 776. 877-243-7776. | |
| I can imagine that. | |
| The question is, is it... | |
| Is it common? | |
| Also, I think people think if one thinks things are okay and the other one thinks things are awful, that the one who thinks things are okay is clueless. | |
| That's the way I think most people react. | |
| You agree? | |
| But it's not necessarily the case. | |
| This is a very important point. | |
| I can imagine a marriage in which the person who thinks things are okay has simply less expectations, fewer expectations of terrificness than the one who thinks things are awful. | |
| Maybe the one who thinks things are awful is wrong. | |
| When I ask this question, I am sure most people think, oh boy, there sure are clueless partners out there, not knowing how bad things are. | |
| By the way, I have no doubt that they exist. | |
| But I think that it is just as likely that one thinks that things are fine because it's all relative. | |
| One might think, That things are not fine, things are awful, because they're not excited. | |
| Well, excited is a tough term. | |
| What if things are peaceful and kind and mutual respect, make a home, have friends, hopefully go to church or synagogue, But, and with all that, you know what, I'm just not getting something out of this. | |
| What does that mean? | |
| A lot of whether or not one is happy in a marriage is not dependent upon how the other treats them. | |
| I may use them. | |
| Him or her would be more accurate. | |
| But rather the expectations you bring into marriage. | |
| The sort of pretty regular fireworks. | |
| Now, by the way, I'm not against pretty regular fireworks. | |
| But when I pose the question, The question of the hour this week. | |
| The implication that the person who doesn't know that the other one thinks things are bad is clueless is not necessarily accurate. | |
|
Life's Philosophy Matters
00:00:41
|
|
| I believe it is often accurate. | |
| I just want to make that clear. | |
| All right. | |
| 1-8 Prager 776. 877-243-7776 is the number. | |
| We ought to do that about... | |
| The whole thing, it shows you how much of life is the philosophy you bring to it. | |
| Two people experiencing the identical marriage in almost identical ways and one quite okay. | |
| Even grateful for it. | |