Dave Smith and Rob dissect Texas's homelessness crisis and critique Joe Biden's alleged incompetence regarding classified documents, speculating on a 2024 Democratic replacement like Gavin Newsom. They contrast Putin's historical clarity with Biden's confusion, debate taxation as partial enslavement, and discuss secession risks for men. Smith rejects Robert F. Kennedy Jr.'s VP offer due to safety fears and philosophical disagreements over Gaza, while criticizing American food safety and pediatric Adderall prescriptions. Ultimately, the dialogue challenges democratic efficacy, suggesting expert rule or monarchy might better address modern societal failures. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Rolling Back The State00:06:44
Fill her up!
You're listening to the gas and humor!
We need to roll back the state.
We spy on all of our own citizens.
Our prisons are flooded with nonviolent drug offenders.
If you want to know who America's next enemy is, look at who we're funding right now.
Every single one of these problems are a result of government being way too big.
You're listening to the problem on the gas digital network.
Here's your host.
James Smith.
Oh.
Oh, thank you.
How's it going, Houston?
How are we?
How's everybody doing?
All right.
This is cool, Rob.
It's nice to be back in Houston.
It's been a few years, and you guys have acquired some more homeless since the last time I was here.
Holy shit.
What the fuck's happening on these streets of Houston?
What is this?
Austin?
You guys are going to let the fucking homeless overtake you?
I thought you had more guns here.
What now?
Whoa.
Whoa?
Listen, the homeless have guns?
Man, the homeless have guns is the most Texas shit you can ever hear in your life.
And even like the Texans have to defend them.
Well, that's their right.
That's their right.
Carry their guns.
I'm not going to take away man's second amendment for Texas.
They're fucking aggressive down here.
Am I crazy or has it gotten worse in the last three years?
Right, okay.
So what's the plan?
Man, I'd be honest, I said what was the plan?
And I got 13 different plans thrown right at me.
I was not prepared for all of that.
Doesn't sound like they got much of a plan, Dave.
Well, the plan is we're going to go down by Omaha Street and we're going to...
Like, that was specific.
All right.
Huh?
Is that Texan?
Is that the fucking plan?
All right, listen, Texas, I want to go on record right now.
If you guys do secede from the Union, I'm coming here.
And when I say teamer, I mean Austin by Rogan.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Do you have the biggest show in America that you want to put me on 11 times?
No, you don't, do you?
All right.
So shut the fuck up, Houston.
I think...
You got to do what's right for me.
I think you should clarify that if they secede and it goes well.
Yeah, like if you secede, and then when the war starts, I'm going to sit on a fence for a little bit.
I don't know.
But if you guys win, I'll be here.
Sure.
After that, after all the bloodshed, yeah, I'll be here.
Well, you guys have been fucking...
Listen, Greg Abbott, your fucking governor.
Yeah, you guys, he is a little bit of a fucking phony, isn't he?
He doesn't stand to the flag.
I think you're thinking of Colin Kaepernick, sir.
Oh, my God.
That was the best heckle I've ever heard.
That's a real Texas.
Jesus looking, motherfucker shouldn't yell at us all night, but that was a great heckle.
It was.
It was a real Texas hecko.
Well, look.
Well, technically, he does.
It's just, it's just stuck bent.
Yeah, the kid's good.
There's a reason I bring him with me everywhere I go.
Well, look, I mean, you know, he finally did a thing about fucking trying to close the border, right?
So there's, he finally was like, everyone in Texas, grab your twine.
We're going to go down there and do it ourselves.
And then fucking when Biden was like, I'm going to crack down on it, he went to India.
And he was just in India while all that shit was going on.
I swear, all right, this is really, this is kind of embarrassing to admit, but this is true.
When the shit was first going down, where the feds were saying they were going to come in here and like make you guys cut down the fence before they bitched out, they were like, Governor Abbott is currently in India.
And I swear to God, my first gut reaction was I was like, where is India, Texas?
I was like, is that by Fort Worth?
Like, where?
I've been around Texas, but I've never been to India, Texas before.
But no, he was just in India eating poop tacos while you guys were trying to hold off an invading Mexican army.
Maybe not an army exactly, but you know, a whole lot of it.
Yeah, something like that.
I wasn't surprised that he was down there because I spend more time on Instagram than you do.
And wheelchair yoga is all the race these days.
So he's, okay.
Well, so here, that was a weird, by the way, this is the thing about Texas that I love the most, is that everyone in Texas is like, we got to close this goddamn border.
But no one is more hardcore than the Mexicans in Texas.
The Mexicans in Texas hate other fucking illegal immigrants so goddamn much.
And I get that.
That's like, it's like if you snuck into a fucking party and there was an orgy at that party, and then they're like, you know, there's 30 more dudes trying to sneak into this party.
And you're like, we got to have some fucking locked doors around here at this goddamn party.
This is fucking ridiculous, okay?
Kids be letting anyone into this orgy.
There's something about that that I respect the most.
That level of gangster.
He makes sanctuary cities put up.
Put up.
Oh, because he started bussing the migrants to them.
That was a fucking brilliant...
That was a brilliant.
That was a really dorky guy that just said something so fucking hood.
He did.
Yeah, it was almost like just the pitch of the voice threw me off at first.
I was like, what did you just say?
Did I not get my homework in?
Oh, no, you're actually a good point.
Well, he's, he, look, obviously it doesn't solve the migrant crisis to just bust them to blue cities.
But man, is it hilarious to just watch them freak out when they get like, because it'll be these big cities like Chicago and New York and they're like, how are we supposed to handle 132 people coming here out of nowhere?
And Texas is like, dude, we've fucking, I don't know what to tell you.
We've had, I got 10 million taco shops on my block right now.
Classified Documents Report00:07:02
Okay?
So like, you got to do something.
They had 200 when they had 70.
Yeah, that's right.
Because they got no tacos there.
They can't handle.
Martha's Vineyard, where they have, it's literally, if you don't, it's nothing but mansions that are used in the summer.
It's just mansions sitting around every other part of the year.
And they're like, what are we supposed to do?
Let them in our homes?
Come on, they're filthy.
Yeah, it was great.
It was great to see.
All right, so listen, if you guys, if you've never watched or been to a live part of the problem podcast before, if you're just like, if you're not a fan or you weren't at the earlier stand-up show and you just happen to come to a comedy club tonight, I'm sorry.
But it's going to get weird.
No, so what we do is we talk about a few things that are on our minds, and then the second half of the show will be any audience questions.
So anything you guys want to ask me or Rob, you'll get a chance to.
But there's been a lot going on.
So there's a couple big stories that I feel like we should discuss as a group.
So number one, let's start with Joe Biden.
So Joe Biden had a special prosecutor put on him to basically decide what to recommend based off his, he had a little scandal with some classified documents that he had from when he was vice president that he didn't return.
And basically, Trump's gotten in so much trouble for not returning classified documents that the Republicans were like, well, how about Joe Biden?
He also didn't return classified documents.
So they got a special prosecutor.
He made his final assessment.
He essentially, I think I'm getting this right, Rob, correct me if I'm wrong.
He said, look, we're not recommending we charge him, although, you know, he held on to him too long.
But then this dude just added some other shit that was completely outside the scope of his report.
He just went, he was like, hey, look, we're recommending we don't charge him with anything.
And by the way, in my experience interviewing him, he is unaware that he is president of the United States of America.
Like, I'm not exaggerating that much, but that's pretty much what the guys said.
They were like, he does not know anything.
He doesn't remember his kids' names.
He doesn't remember when he was vice president.
He doesn't remember.
And so this is the...
Technically, he never intentionally took classified documents because he does nothing intentionally.
Yeah.
You're like, he goes, after my full investigation, I got to believe this guy thought those were Oreos.
So I don't think I can recommend charging him for stealing what he believed were Oreos.
He took a polygraph and passed with flying colors.
Anyway, it's kind of, it was wild because no one really expected that to be what this report, everyone thought it was just going to be about the classified documents.
And he was like, this dude doesn't know anything.
And it's shocking because for the rest of us, we never saw any signs.
You go, the guy looked like he had it all together up until this report came out.
And now you're like, I guess we're going to have to look into this further.
I don't know.
Well, it looks like they're finally trying to recall him.
And personally, I'd feel more comfortable with the country in Big Mike's arms.
So finally get a big swinging dick back in the White House.
You really think that somehow Barack Obama's husband's going to end up running for president and taking this whole thing?
Taking this whole thing back over?
You've seen the pictures.
Those shoulders were always a little too broad.
You know what I mean?
I don't know if that one's true, but since I've heard it, I can't unsee Obama as gay.
It is a weird thing where it is, it also makes you realize how much you just follow the group because for so many years, people are like, Obama's the best public speaker ever.
And you're like, yeah, he is really good at giving a speech.
And then all it took was one guy being like, I think his wife's a dude.
And then you look back at Obama and you're like, look at that little fruit kick.
Yeah, why did I ever think he was fucking charming or anything?
Look at this little.
Like, he used to sound like the rock.
Now I see him talk and it's like, I brought sparkles.
Shit.
So anyway, that was the report was basically that Biden is incompetent.
I'll give you a minute to, you know, to just come to terms with that.
Yes, to deal with that information that I just gave you.
Try to decompress.
But it does seem like what Rob was saying.
To me at least, if I had to guess, I go, this is the first step in really, they're throwing him under the bus.
Biden is not going to be the nominee.
They can't fucking let Biden run against Trump.
I mean, maybe they're going to get Trump out before the fucking general election somehow.
But Biden Trump in 2024 is not...
You ever have like, all right, so my wife's nephew is, he's 17.
And he's, we always like wrestle when he's like over, you know.
Yeah, you might not want to say that on a podcast.
All right, let me.
Let me say this in a different way.
Like, I'll just come in.
It's like after he was swimming in the pool for a little bit, and I was like, hey, Tiger, get over here.
No, you fucking weird.
No, I didn't.
Like, no, like, we'll fucking shadow box for a little bit.
And then we'll say, you know, I was with 17-year-old kids, and I'm 40.
And you know how it is, like, where you feel like you got to still let them know you could fuck them up, but you also know you're at the end of your window where you can fuck them up, you know, and then there's like the windows coming, and you're kind of like, ah, get over here, I'll fucking throw you on the ground.
And then you're like, all right, but next year, let's not do this anymore.
Seriously.
And he's starting to like, he's working out now, so he's getting big.
And me and him were fucking around.
We were like shadow boxing, and I got the best of him.
But I also was very keenly aware that I was like, this is the last time.
Like this kid could fuck me up.
In two more years, he's going to be 22 and I'm going to be 42.
And he's going to fuck my shit up.
And that's when I'm going to be like, hey, come on, we're at a party.
Investors are going to be like, come on, no more horsing around anymore.
This is immature.
I feel like that's how Biden, like I feel like that's where Biden's at at this point.
Like in 2020, when they were debating, he was like, all right, enough horsing around.
But in 2024, if they debate, you know, like Donald Trump's just going to be like, tell us your middle name.
And like, he's going to be like, ah, come on, Jack.
It's just going to be a lot of like, ah, come on, you buster.
Magnesium Breakthrough Pitch00:03:17
What's up with the middle names?
We're in these 96 America.
He's in trouble.
I think they're going to get him out of there.
I think this is the beginning of that.
They already fucking had the hearings about Hunter Biden.
Now they're fucking having a report about how fucking senile he is.
And then you know all the fucking people in the media and in the Democratic Party, they're all going to be like, yeah, we always knew that.
You're going to be like, no, you didn't.
You were lying to us for a long fucking time.
Well, I like the way he handled it.
He instantly said, this is a problem.
Let's do a press conference.
He got up at the press conference and he said, listen, I'm fully aware.
I know what's going on and I will prove it to you.
Just wait till I build that wall between us and Egypt.
If you guys didn't know, he confused the president of Egypt and Mexico, which.
At the press conference to prove that he's not retarded.
But I will say in Joe Biden's defense, Egypt is the Mexico of Africa.
You know what I mean?
Like they really are the Mexico of Africa, if you think about it.
Same skin complexion.
They're right at like the northern tip of Africa.
If you were going to sneak in from like Central Africa to Europe, you'd go through there.
I'm just saying, like, I do get where he's coming from a little bit.
And to all you people who judge Joe Biden for that one, because I'm just trying to call balls and stripes here.
Let me put a fucking Egyptian and a Mexican in front of you.
And I'm not convinced you'd all get 100 out of 100 on that test.
I think I'd do 50-50 at best, to be honest.
So again, just let's all be humans about this.
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Nikki Haley Pivot Talk00:14:55
I kind of had a slight, I do believe that the wheels are starting to turn and they might recall Biden and make the pivot to either Gavin Newsom or Big Mike.
This episode is not going to make it to YouTube, is it, Rob?
This is going to be another one of those goddamn rumble episodes.
But the special prosecutor also said that Biden was a well-meaning old man.
Yeah, that was, by the way, that was the most condescending but nice fair thing I ever saw on.
He made me chocolate chip cookies before I came over.
Too senile to stand trial.
That's essentially what he said.
But I look at that and I'm like, if politicians role is to lie, well then Biden still got it.
Yeah, he doesn't even know.
No, because he showed, he came off as well-meaning.
Yeah, Biden's, you know, when you see people who are clearly guilty, like, testify under oath, and they just say, I can't remember the whole time, and you're like, oh, dude, that's such a fucking cop out.
Biden could pull it off.
That's all I'm saying.
Like, if Biden just testified, I can't remember the whole time.
Even people who hate Biden would be like, I mean, the guy can't remember.
He can't remember.
But there's something incredible.
The second any of these people get in trouble, it's Fauci to, I can't recall.
I don't remember.
I can't recall.
And then you leave the meeting and you're like, okay, can I go back to making important decisions now?
It's like it's one or the other.
You can't have it both ways.
Yeah, well, evidently you can, Rob.
Wasn't it weird?
Danny, you guys watched the Tucker Carlson interview with Vladimir Putin?
It is weird.
It is weird to see how much he can recall.
Like, I'm not even saying, it's just like, as an American, you watch that and you're like, this motherfucker recalls so much.
Half the shit he recalls, you're like, I don't know if he's recalling it right, but he's recalling it.
You're like, this was a 35-minute rant where he recalled so many things.
Dude, I swear to God, if I get Tucker back on the podcast, I'm just going to go, and if anyone, don't tell Tucker I said this.
Because it'll be funnier if he doesn't know.
But I'm going to start it by being like, give me 30 seconds to a minute.
And then I'm going to do the whole podcast without asking him a question or even acknowledging that he's there.
I'm just going to have him there to watch me talk.
No, Vladimir Putin started the interview and he goes, look, I got to go.
He said, he goes, I got to go over the history.
Give me 30 seconds.
And then once he said 30 seconds, he immediately corrected himself and went, maybe a minute.
And then he just talked for 40 minutes.
He was going back to the 1300s and what Ukraine and Russia was doing.
Like he was fucking talking about, he's like, okay, listen, let me just lay down in the background.
Tucker's like, why did you invade this country?
And he's like, okay, let me tell you why we invaded.
So man used to make paintings in caves and chased woolly mammoths outside while the women gathered berries and fruits.
You with me so far?
Okay, all right, we're good there.
Okay, so then, yada, yada, yada, someone makes up this Ukraine bullshit.
And then, you know, I don't know, we were like, what are they?
These fucking pussies are going to be next to us forever.
Yeah.
It was, he gave 40 minutes that was, I think, I speak for all of us when we all know that we don't know enough about the history to tell him whether he's right or wrong.
But we're also like, this smells like bullshit, dude.
Like, it just, I know, this is what I do know about the history, is I know he yada yada over what fucking Stalin did pretty quickly.
Like he was like, so anyway, Ukraine was cool.
We were all friends.
Stalin came around, yada yada.
They started being dicks.
Like, I don't know what the fuck.
And you're like, I think something happened in that middle part that you're not talking about.
So he said at one point, which was kind of, it was the only admission he had about Russia doing anything wrong, but he said, he goes to Tucker, he goes, he goes, during Stalin's rule, there were human rights abuses.
That was his like, look, were we perfect?
No.
So just so you guys know, under Joseph Stalin, there were some human rights abuses.
It's like if you were just like, Michael Jordan, yeah, he made a couple buckets in the 90s.
Sure, yeah, he's fucking neat, but yeah, I think he dunked a time or two, which was so fucking crazy.
Food is overrated.
No, that's the thing too.
It's like, and I know a lot of people, probably a lot of like you guys who, you know, fucking listen to the podcast and are, you know, with us on this, but people will go like, oh, there's all these Nazis in Ukraine, which is true.
There's a lot of Nazis in Ukraine.
Yeah.
Now I'm saying.
Sure, sir.
I'm saying there are some things to like about that.
But despite those notions.
They don't have Mexicans sneaking in, I'll say that.
Those Nazis won't allow that.
They don't have any Egyptians sneaking in there, if you know what I mean.
But a big part of the reason why there's so many Nazis in Ukraine is because the fucking commies were so bad that if you were Ukrainian, you'd be like, I'll deal with the Nazis.
That's really the truth.
The Nazis invaded.
Yeah.
Dude, there's even Jewish Ukrainians who lean toward the Nazis because that's how bad shit was under Stalin.
That's how it was.
That's how much Jews like food.
He goes, you think they have locks?
At least give us a little bread and soup.
I'm just saying.
But you know, if you were like starving under the commies and someone invades and is like, we're going to overthrow them, you're like, yeah, thank God.
So who's invading exactly?
And then you're like, oh, Jesus Christ.
Ukrainians got fucked up for a while.
But anyway, so there was a, so that was how it started with Putin giving his little history.
And then around the time we got to 1991, like he went from like 1312 and around 1991, you were like, oh, okay, I think he's making sense.
Everything in between there was fucking ridiculous.
But anyway, Tucker seemed to be really impressed with the hotel room.
Yeah, and also, you're not going to interrupt Putin.
Yeah, well, he did a couple times, but then Putin, so when Putin gave him that flex about the CIA, like Putin's like, oh, the CIA does a lot of bad shit.
You know, Tucker, the organization you wanted to join.
Like, he really gave him like the fucking, like, uh...
Remember that guy, Zimmerman, who killed Trayvon Martin?
Who was like a fucking, okay, Texas, I know you're big fans.
So you remember how his whole thing was he wanted to be a cop and failed?
Like, Putin really treated Tucker like Zimmerman in that interview.
You were like, hey, remember when you wanted to be a cop?
Yeah.
Well, I made the KGB.
So anyway, whatever.
So you had another question, Faggot?
Do you know?
No, but then the rest of it, I'll tell you, basically when it got to 1991 and on, Putin started saying a lot of the shit I've been saying for the last few years.
Which is where we get our talking points.
It's a weird feeling.
Because, you know, part of me wants to be like, see, I told you, that's what Putin thinks.
But then part of me is like, okay, all you guys who said I sound just like Putin, you had a point.
You know what I mean?
Like, yeah.
It was basically my segment on the Rogan podcast was fucking Vladimir Putin after that.
But I do think he made a lot of good points.
Thanks, one guy.
I hope that wasn't the same guy who loved the Nazis.
What were your takeaways from the interview, Rob?
One, the translator that they got for him is excellent.
Great.
Can we get that for Biden?
I feel like, you know, Biden just says his whatever.
I painted legs and I saw this.
And then you get that translator who just comes in with this perfect tonality.
It'd be great too if Biden's translator just doesn't say anything related to what Biden just said.
Like we hear them both in English.
Yeah.
But like Biden's just like, the little kids used to push the hair on my legs down.
And then they pop back up and I learned a lot about kids and my lap and I learned a lot.
And then the translator is just like, we're going to cut taxes to grow the economy.
I thought the first 40 minutes I had to skip because it was that rant of history and I don't know, whatever.
But then from there, what was very interesting to me, Putin's an excellent sales guy, where he's sitting there and he's like, forget Russia, I'm just looking out for you guys here.
And you're deep state.
I'm having conversations with your world leaders and I can't tell you what they said.
But believe me, they agree with me and we're trying to solve things.
But your deep state just keeps getting in the way.
Dude, okay, so my favorite part of the interview, and look, I don't know, I'm not fucking, Putin's a head of state, so obviously by definition, he's doing propaganda for his own government and shit, right?
Like, I'm not saying I trust anything he says, but I do know, I know that America was backing the fucking bin Ladenite radical Sunnis in Chechnya.
And when he told the story of confronting George W. Bush with it, and he said he gave him the information that proved that he knew they were backing the fucking terrorists in Chechnya, and the way he described George W. Bush's reaction just seemed so real.
Texas.
You know George W. Bush.
And Putin goes, I told him you're backing the terrorists.
And George W. Bush went, what?
He goes, nah, man.
He goes like, nah, that's nuts.
And he goes, no, look, here's the proof.
And he said George W. Bush read it.
And then he went, oh man, heads are gonna roll.
I just told him, I'm like, George W. Bush just had no idea.
And then Bhutan's like, you know you're on bin Laden's side.
And he's like, what?
Dog, that's crazy.
I'm going to look into this.
We're going to make some changes around here.
And then Bhutan said a month later he followed up and the Secret Service sent him back a letter and was like, we're not doing anything different.
Like it doesn't matter what he said to you.
George W. Bush really, of all of the worst fucking presidents who I just can't bring myself to personally hate, George W. Bush is the top.
You just like, it's not even his fault.
He was just supposed to own a baseball team.
You know what I mean?
He was never supposed to do any more than that.
You know his dad was like, get out there and be president.
Like in a perfect world, Bush would have just kept on drinking.
Yes.
Yeah, he just would have been party boy to the fucking end.
George W. Bush, listen, this is how bad of a drunk he is.
He had a drinking problem in the 70s.
In the 70s, cocaine was considered medicine.
Like it was totally respectable to just bring a fucking cocaine thing out with you wherever you went.
Everyone drank.
Texas, in the 70s, everyone was having...
You had to be so drunk for someone to go, you got to get this under control.
That's where George W. That's why they all have trucks.
Roads were optional.
Yeah, that's right.
Where we're going, we don't need roads.
You can go, where are you going?
My Coke dealers.
All right, what else we got?
Or anything else on this, Rob?
Or you want to move on?
What's the other one?
We can move on.
The other one is, you know, Trump has been kicking Nikki Haley's ass, but she's not just losing to Trump.
I don't know if you saw this story.
She's also losing to none of the above.
Yeah, so this was in Nevada.
Yeah.
They had their primary, and Trump was not on the ballot.
And so it was just Nikki Haley and a bunch of people who have already dropped out of the race.
And Trump won.
And he won by like 30 plus points.
But people just wrote in Trump.
And Nikki Haley tried to spin it as a wind.
Well, that's what she's doing.
Which is the greatest speeches ever.
No matter how bad she loses, she's like, another great night at the office.
We did it.
Fucking, you know, she's like, we won amongst all other people who were on the ballot.
And then you're like, yeah, but that's pretty, it's pretty bad to lose to the guy who wasn't on the ballot.
I think none of the above should run in the general election.
Dude, unironically, I'd vote for none of the above for president.
I would love that.
I think it would change the country if none of the above existed.
And actually, if a large enough majority voted for none of the above, we limited the powers of president.
I would love the press conferences with none of the above.
Like literally, it wouldn't be any better or any worse if the press corps just yelled at a microphone.
And they were like, sir, you haven't answered the questions about Benghazi or whatever the fuck they said, you know?
And then there was just a microphone, like an empty microphone with no one there.
And then Fox, like you could watch MSNBC and Fox News both play the same segment.
And like Sean Hannity would be like, look at this far left liberal president refusing to answer the questions.
I got it.
I'll fucking support no one for president.
So there you go.
Nikki Haley, you finished to no one.
Second.
It's pretty embarrassing losing to none of the above.
Yeah, it's not, but it helps if there's someone.
Like if you're, like, if your chick is like, I'm leaving you, and you're like, oh, who are you leaving me for?
Your dumb ex-boyfriend?
And you're mad enough?
And then she goes, no, I'm just like for no one.
You'd be like, oh, that's worse.
Losing To None Of Above00:03:48
You know?
Like, at least if there was another dude, you could be like, all right, well, there was someone else had something on me.
But if she's like, I'm going to go sit in a room, man, like that is, that hurts more.
I agree.
100%.
And I've had it happen.
I'm sorry, Rob.
I didn't mean to touch on your lived experience.
No, it's great.
Someone leaves and they got money.
You're like, that was a good decision.
I respect that call.
But when they're just like, I'm leaving for nothing, you're like, oh, shit, maybe I got to get it together.
All right.
Do we have any more topics?
We have one more topic, which was Boris Johnson.
It was reported, I think it was the Daily Mail.
I think it was made more than 5 million pounds since he's left office in speeches.
Yeah.
Have you guys ever heard Boris Johnson speak?
Not 500,000 pounds worth, I'll tell you that much.
No, I mean, I don't know what the...
500 million.
What is the...
He's made $5 million so far since he's left just off of speeches.
5 million pounds.
And me and you were in England earlier this year, and all I remember is that the pounds to dollar was like fairly close.
So it's close to 5 million bucks.
I'll tell you, what I remember is, remember, you were with me, Rob?
We went to, what's that department store in London?
Ayers?
Aries.
Yes.
So we went there because my wife wanted me to go.
And we looked at one thing and said, we'll shop somewhere else.
No, this is what happened.
No, I got a couple teddy bears for my kids.
And I got, like, my wife wanted Christmas ornaments from that famous department store or whatever.
And then I was like, I don't know what the fuck was coming up.
Like, her birthday was coming up or something like that.
So I was like, you know, some dumb shit.
And I think it was right before her birthday.
So I was like, oh, I'm going to get her something while I'm here because she loves this famous department store.
And there's like these jewelry stores in there.
Now, fellas, you could maybe relate to me.
I don't know anything about jewelry.
You know what I mean?
Like, you don't fucking know.
You just look around at shit.
You're like, this one looks shiny.
Yeah.
Like, so I looked at one thing that I thought looked nice.
And there's no prices on anything.
And I didn't know what the fuck type of store I was in.
And keep in mind, dollars and pounds are roughly the same.
So I go in and I just, I looked at a bracelet, like a tennis bracelet, and I was like, oh, that's real nice.
I was like, can I take a look at that?
And he hands it to me and I'm holding it.
I was like, I like this.
How much is it?
And he goes, 36,000 pounds.
And it's such a weird thing when you just figure out like in one moment how in over your head you are in a situation.
Like I wasn't even expecting anything like crazy cheap, but I was nowhere near prepared for fucking like...
Like I have two kids.
Can I trade you one of them?
Yeah, like $36,000 or pounds, whatever, close enough.
And so he hands it to me, and it's literally in one moment, I'm holding this tennis bracelet in my hand, and he goes, $36,000.
And I try to keep it together to look cool.
Like, he goes, he's like, 36,000 pounds.
And I'm like, yeah, totally reasonable.
All right.
But then inside, I'm like, don't drop this.
Because this is a whole thing.
Like, my life is ruined if I drop this.
And I go, here, will you just hold this for me for a second?
I want to look at some other things.
That's what I said.
And I just gave it back to him, and then I looked around, and I felt I couldn't leave right away.
So I just spent five minutes purely pretending.
Like pretending to look at other things, like, uh-huh, that one's actually.
Cats And Libertarian Rules00:13:16
Check out your monocle.
Yeah, that's actually a little damaged for me.
Let me check out this.
And then at a certain point, I just worked up the courage, just turn around and walk out.
And I went up to Rob, and Rob goes, you get anything?
And I go, move, move, move.
They're too good for us in there.
So anyway, five million pounds, quite a bit more than that.
But I'm just saying I had an experience with dollars to pounds.
Listen, Boris Johnson went to Ukraine at the beginning of the war and convinced them to not make peace and to keep fighting the war.
And now he's getting paid back for that.
That's all it is, right?
No one wants to see fucking make-a-wish British Trump give a speech.
But he kept a war going and made a lot of people their money.
And since now they're going to give a speech.
It really is.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You ever look at him and you're just like, stop doing Trump, faggot?
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All right, let's get back into the show.
All right, you want to fucking take some questions then?
Whatever, let's get the audience involved here.
Let's have some fun.
All right, yeah, there you go.
You.
Oh, oh, boy, breaking equipment here.
And thank you guys all for coming out.
I always enjoy this part of the live podcasts.
All right, I'm going to hit the crowd, so raise your hand if you've got a question.
We'll start right over here.
So I am a Texas Mises Podcast organizer.
Hell yeah.
Woo!
Regime.com.
Hell yeah.
And I'm also wondering, are you coming to the national convention in D.C.?
Yes, I'll be at the national convention in D.C.
I believe I'm speaking at it.
I don't know.
I got to talk to Angela, but yes, I believe I'll 100% be there.
Awesome.
All right.
That was a quick one.
Now I'm on record.
If I don't show up, Rob, delete that part of the event.
Why don't you plug it?
What's the event?
Lay it on us.
She's talking at the National Convention.
It's in May, I think, in D.C.
Yeah.
All right.
So, as a wise man once said, government is by the people, of the people, for the people.
But the people are retarded.
So, Dave, I want to hear your take on democracy.
And also, how bitches are Shapiro debated fucking Destiny and not Scarborough?
I'm sorry, I missed the last part of that.
Shapiro debated Destiny and not Scarborough.
Oh, I could, yeah.
So the Ben Shapiro Destiny debate, I just couldn't bring myself to watch that.
A lot of people sent it to me, but it's like, look, dude, I could take one of those two county voices, but to do both of them in the same episode, I just feel like I could do the whole debate on fast forward.
Where it's like, now, I'm an Orthodox chicken.
You see this tiny little hat on my head?
That is the Amazon.
And then he's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, but you didn't read Google research.
Like, I just can't.
It's like too much.
It's unreasonable.
And, you know, as far as your thing about democracy goes, like, yeah, that's right.
Everyone knows that.
Come on, look around.
I mean, like, honestly, it's so bizarre to me that people even pretend that they believe in democracy.
No one fucking believes in democracy.
You ever been to an Arby's?
You go to a fucking Arby's and you look around that bitch and you tell me these people should be allowed to vote.
It's uh, yeah, I don't know what else to say.
It's also stupid.
The idea that we could all get together.
Voting is so dumb.
We'd never do that in any other area in life.
You just never vote.
Like if the fucking power went out, or like there was like a fuse box that went out, and one person here was like, I'm an electrician.
I'll go fucking do XYZ.
And then someone else was like, no, let's vote.
You'd be like, that's fucking retarded.
Like, why would we vote?
You never want to vote on anything.
If you're ever voting on something, things have gone very bad in your life.
You know what I mean?
Like, if you're ever just like, if you're like, we got to vote on who we eat first or something, you're like, you're on a desert island.
Like, things have gone terribly bad.
Voting is not a good way to solve things.
What you want is someone who actually knows what the fuck they're talking about.
And then everyone else goes, I'm going to defer to that guy.
Because he fucking knows.
That's how shit gets done.
Voting is bad.
All right.
This episode, catch this episode on Rumble.
I mean, I guess.
You know.
Where are you, Rob?
Back of the room.
Back of the room.
Hey, Dave, why do you think that the Libertarian Party can't get behind Bobby Kennedy?
And I know he's been right about pretty much everything besides the Israel war, but why do you think, I mean, with the influence that Israel has, why can't he just get behind him?
Well, I wouldn't say, I don't think Bobby Kennedy has been right about everything.
You know, I mean, he's been pretty wrong on a whole lot of things.
He's been so wrong, like, on guns and on fucking climate and on like a bunch of different things.
He was really good on several really important things.
But I just, I don't know, man.
If you're, you know, the libertarians are, it's not like I fucking control them.
And believe me, I've tried.
But they are.
Libertarians are like a fucking, they're not, you know what people say?
It's like herding cats.
But libertarians aren't even like cats.
Libertarians are like some freak mutant creature.
You know, they're like half cat, half camel or something.
I don't know.
But you can't tell them what to do.
And the party's not going to get behind him because he's just too un-libertarian.
But just blank, anyone who's saying America has to fund another war isn't going to get the fucking nomination from the LP.
And that's just the...
That's...
It's so like the bare minimum, you know?
Like, that's a reasonable thing to be like, you can't be running on that.
And, you know, how did Israel, like, I don't know, compromise him or whatever?
I don't know.
But he is.
He's actually none of that.
Listen, I'll say this.
If there's anything that the Kennedy men are known for, it's self-control.
Alright, that's all I'm going to say.
When I was on that plane, I didn't know we were going to an island.
Oh, dude, it's so fucked up.
But I've had several phone calls with Bobby Kennedy at this point, and it's amazing how you know it's him as soon as you answer the phone.
I tell you that much.
He was like, hello, and he's like, thanks!
All right.
All right, I know what I'm doing.
All right, Tuesday.
What up, Dave?
I'm a registered libertarian, and since George Bush fucked us over, like, let's be honest about that, that's when I made the switch.
But after that, when we're sitting here right now and I see you as the future libertarian candidate, and I actually see you being a Ross Perot RFK before he had your podcast and actually had momentum to see you as a candidate like that, when you're here in the future, one thing I'd say from the past that I think is really important to look to is when you look at our best candidate prior, that was Johnson, Johnson and Billwell had had a great relationship.
Like the two of them on stage really had presence, and you felt that as a team.
I know that people thought that he fell apart in this interview or what have you, but I think there's really something important in your candidacy that could drive forward with a partner where you guys actually work as a team.
Because the one thing we don't have to do is...
Dude, are you trying to run with me or fuck me?
What's the end?
Where's this going?
Because I'm yes to both.
I'm sorry, keep going.
I'm working the center.
I saw a bunch of hands over here.
All right, we'll start right here.
Well, where did the question get?
I mean, thank you, if that's the end of that.
You know, I don't know, dude.
Really?
I feel like, isn't there fucking...
I go out to shows sometimes and there'll be like these nerds who come up to me and they're like, dude, I've read everything about this and that.
And I'm like, that guy should run.
Let me just keep doing what I'm doing.
I feel like I'm probably better suited for this.
What happened?
No, no, no.
No, you want to zoom in on me saying that?
Say it again, Dave.
Call them nerds.
Okay, so I have a friend who's from Brazil, and she's read a lot of hop.
Gross.
I'm just kidding.
Sorry.
The audience didn't like that.
I'm seeing that's such a funny reaction.
I have a friend from Brazil.
Ew.
I'm just kidding.
Lovely people.
Very, very interesting people.
So she is, when I talk to her about these things, she's like, oh, I'm a monarchist.
I believe in a more feudalistic society.
And I don't really know how to respond to that.
So I'd love to hear your thoughts on that.
She makes some good points.
Well, look, so isn't it, wasn't it like kind of one of the things that's weird about the Putin interview?
When you see that and you see those young pictures of him in 1999, and then you see him today, and you're like, wow, he's been running it the whole time.
And as an American, you're just kind of like, well, no, that's not right.
You're supposed to be president for four or eight years.
And then we have a vote.
But it's just, all I'm saying is I'm not like defending either system of government.
I'm just saying it does make you realize it's a little bit arbitrary and a little bit weird.
Like, why four years?
Why not every year or every 10 years or every 15?
Like, why four?
And that's totally arbitrary.
And it is kind of like, is it really, I guess, the official, like, the way the mythology is told is like, well, the people get to vote, and therefore the more regularly the people get to vote, it's really the will of the people who's in there.
Or something like that.
But then wouldn't you go like, well, why not vote every year or every two years?
It's just, and really, do any of us actually, if we're being adults about this, do any of us actually believe it fucking matters?
Like, do we really rule the government?
Because every four years we get one 170 millionth of a say in what happens.
It's just like, none of that's really real.
And so is there an argument that better than democracy is just put the fucking best guy there and let him fucking rule the shit?
I'm not saying I agree with that.
I'm just saying like there is more of a point to it than like it's not as ridiculous as we're just kind of trained to think it is.
And you know, personally, I just think I don't really give a shit if there's democracy or fucking dictatorship.
I just care about how free the people are who live under that fucking government.
But you know, if I was going to like talk to a monarchist, my position wouldn't even be to convince him on democracy over monarchy.
My position would just be like, okay, so why is monarchy better than democracy?
And if you're going to say it's because like one person just rules it and can make fucking whatever decisions they want to, then okay, how about we all get to be our own monarchs?
And we all get to fucking just like, I rule my fucking property the way I want to rule my fucking property.
I'm like, that's, you know, that being said, I'm not convinced monarchy is better than democracy.
Like, I'm just saying it's an interesting like thing to think about that we all kind of take for granted.
Being Your Own Voice00:13:10
So I don't know.
But I would attack, you know, you always try to attack whoever you're talking to from their weak flank.
So like if you're talking to a right-winger, you can never like say, hey, you're racist.
Because to a right-winger, that's like a compliment.
You know?
They're like, sure, whatever.
That's what everyone fucking says.
Goddamn right I am.
But you try to talk to them like about like, no, you're actually kind of a bitch.
And then they're like, no, I'm no bitch.
All right, wait, you know?
So like, okay, monarchists, well, guess what?
I'm the fucking monarch of my property.
I'm the monarch of my fucking house.
So how about that?
And then, and then really, that's what we believe in, ultimately, is we believe in men ruling their property.
Like their wives, anyways.
Yeah.
Yeah, I mean, I think we're saying the same thing in different language, Rob, but okay, fine.
Hi, Dean.
So I was having you kid on the block.
I don't know you.
My friend Marissa told me about you.
He's like, yeah, this guy like.
Oh, just tonight?
Yeah.
Wow.
That's rough.
No, it was great.
It's great.
Everyone's like, yeah, this guy hates the government.
I'm like, ah, cool.
Sign me up.
Anyway, so I just like, I want to hear your opinion on, like, so I started a job this year, and it was really fascinating, I'll say.
And how, you know, I was looking at all the things I was taxed on.
Just like line item, doom, do, do, do.
And then like the 401k, I was like, what the hell?
So like, what's your opinion on that?
What's your opinion on the 401k?
I don't think women should be working.
If they got a, it's like, you could be raising babies and they're out there paying them to your 401k.
What's the job, if you don't mind me asking?
I'm a crude crude oil analyst.
A what analyst?
Crude oil analyst.
Crude oil analyst.
Okay.
Wow, that's a fucking awful job.
All right.
Well, that is a Texas job, I guess.
Yeah, no, it's fucking, it's pretty brutal.
And, you know, look, I mean, I don't want to get too like fucking hippie preachy on you, but it does, when you get to that point, right?
Like, how old are you?
25.
25.
Yeah, you're young enough.
It's not like offensive to ask a 25-year-old their age.
So what happens when you're 25 and you start having your first job where like you're making a little bit of money or when you start kind of climbing the ladder and you really feel what taxes are, it's like if you ask me how I feel about that, I literally, I think it was Robert Nozak's what is a slave thing that I'll be robbing from a little bit.
But if you look at like what a slave is, like the essence of what it is to be a slave, is essentially a 100% tax rate.
Right?
Like, I mean, maybe not even 100% because like, I guess your like housing is paid for and your food is paid for.
So, you know, like there's, but it's just like you are 100% working for someone else.
And when you start to get taxed, if it's, if all of that shit comes to a total of 25% or 35% or 45% or whatever it is, you do kind of realize that you're like, yo, I'm 45% a slave.
Like I'm 45% of me is working to pay someone who I don't choose to fucking pay.
They just force me to.
They just take what my fucking work was worth.
And it's like for them.
And it is like essentially, you know, if you were like a slave, like a real slave.
Don't get me wrong, you know, I'd rather be fucking working in crude oil than be a fucking, you know, slave on a plantation somewhere.
But it is something where like you do go like if you if you work for the whole year and then you get taxed at let's just say 50%, you're basically like, oh, I was enslaved for half the year to fucking just pay other people.
And so that's kind of my thoughts on it.
Like it's fucking, you're partially a slave.
And so that kind of informs like my answer on the last thing.
They're going to be like, yeah, you're a slave, but we hold elections every four years.
And you can pick between Biden and Trump.
You're like, okay, but do I stop being a slave with either of them?
And they're like, no, that's not going to change at all.
So like, I don't really think like, oh, we have a say in our government.
I'm just kind of like, yeah, we're kind of like, we're kind of like well-fed slaves.
But I just, I did just get a burger down here and it was very good.
So we're eating, okay?
Thanks, Dave.
Thanks for coming to Houston.
All right, my pleasure.
Thank you guys for coming out.
RFK effectively asked you to be his VP.
What are your thoughts about that?
And if not you, maybe someone else, like a libertarian, being his VP and how that would affect the greater libertarian message.
Yeah, you know, look, aside from that last episode, like I do, I like Bobby Kennedy a lot.
We've had like a good relationship.
We've had like, you know, we talk on the phone every so often and he's done my podcast a couple times and like I like the guy.
But you know, you can only get too, you know, so close to a candidate.
There's like there's some fucking evil spirits floating around there.
And I don't even mean just me and them.
Like, I mean a bullet headed for him might hit me.
Like I can't get that close to a fucking Kennedy.
You want me to be his fucking VP?
They might be like, here, ride in the limo with him.
And I'm like, what?
No, I don't want to do that.
I'll be in my podcast studio where it's safe and warm.
So I don't, yeah, I don't, you know, I don't, I don't think he fucking was seriously offering me the vice presidency anyway.
I mean, he did say it a couple times, but it, I don't know.
That seemed totally injustice.
And no, I'm not, I'm not going to run with Bobby Kennedy.
That just doesn't make sense.
It doesn't, it doesn't make sense for him.
It doesn't make sense for me.
The only reason he's even like throwing it out there is because it would help him get the LP nomination and then that saves him like $25 million getting on all the ballots and shit.
But I don't, I don't, that's not, whatever it is, it's fucking really weird.
Look, like, I do this now, like doing stand-up and podcasting and stuff.
And like, it's cool.
I make a good living off of it.
And people come out.
We do shows like this.
It's fun.
But I was doing this for many years where I was just making nothing and just totally failed.
And the reason I fucking kept doing it is just because it's, I don't know.
This is like my calling.
This is what I'm supposed to do.
I don't know how to explain it.
It's just like, yeah, I don't know.
This is what I do.
And to be Bobby Kennedy's vice presidential candidate, it's like, that's not what I do.
That's not my calling.
I'm supposed to keep doing this.
I'm not supposed to go do that.
I don't know.
If you're someone's vice president, then you're basically accepting that you're a team player.
And then the proper thing, the correct thing to do, if you're on a fucking team, is you, like, look, if my wife, if me and my wife were out somewhere, and she said something that I thought was out of line to someone else, and I thought that was not right for her to say that, and then someone else goes, hey, fuck you, to my wife.
My job is to go, fuck you, motherfucker, and talk to my wife again like that and I'll fucking kill you, right?
Then when we get home, I can go, the fuck is wrong with you, you psychopath.
You don't ever talk like that out in public again.
Because that's the correct thing to do when you're on a team.
And that's like what me and my wife are a fucking team.
So wherever it is, if we're out against the world, I have her back, no question.
Even if I disagree with her.
Then when we get home, like, you know, hit her.
But in public, I have to have her back.
Because that's what it is to be teammates.
Is that no one comes between this team?
To be a vice presidential candidate, the noble thing to do is no matter what in public, you defend who your fucking top of the ticket is.
Like, you know?
And so I can't do that because that's not what I see as the right thing to do.
Like, I wouldn't go out there, because if I'm me, I just know who I am.
If, you know, if I was Bobby Kennedy's vice presidential candidate and then someone was like, hey, what do you think about his position on the fucking war in Gaza?
I'd be like, I don't know.
He's retarded.
So like, that's, and that's not right.
You know, I couldn't be like his vice presidential candidate and then undermining him.
So it's just like, that's not, I'm not a, I'm not a team player like that.
So that's, I'd rather just be my own independent voice where I can say whatever the fuck I want to say.
That's what I like.
Isn't that the best thing?
Oh, I'm just going to hold the panel.
Okay.
Hi, Dave.
Hello.
So you mentioned before that we are 45%, 50% slaves.
And that is...
Depending on how much you make.
55% slave.
And here we are.
She's buying drinks.
In Biden's America, so probably not.
Here we are in Texas, right?
We're Texas.
We have the ability to secede from this thing.
But it takes the people to make that decision.
And it doesn't matter if you're here, you're Louisiana, Mississippi, wherever you are.
But you have to decide that, to your point.
Decide that you're not a slave.
Decide to do the things that you have been domesticated to allow somebody else to do for you.
So what would you say that we should all here do?
Like, what's that first step practically as a libertarian to start to do?
Well, Jesus Christ.
I really, I just had this answer going in my head and then I'm like, this is going to come off really sexist.
No, you know what?
It's just going to come off sexist.
All right, let me say.
If you're talking about what is really the time to decide whether to fucking secede or not, and I don't want this to come off the wrong way, but I know it will, I think that is a decision for men to make.
And the reason I say that is because, look, let's just be real.
That's going to be a war.
Right now, you're talking about fighting a war.
And I think that's the decision for the people who are ready to fight or not ready to fight that war.
And to say, like, as you said, that Texas could secede if they wanted to, and it's just whether they make up their minds to do it, it's a little bit more than that.
You guys got some big old military bases in this state here.
And by the way, there's a reason why they put them right in the middle of fucking Texas.
And it's not, as of right now, Washington, D.C. is not going to let anyone fucking secede.
They'll come fucking put that shit down.
And they'll probably be able to work up enough popular support to do that.
Look, there were, you know, the South seceded once, right?
How'd that work out?
Just say.
Try to remember that.
And I'm not even, I'm not talking about slavery or anything else.
You know what I mean?
Like, that was cool, but I just don't understand.
It was not cool.
It wasn't cool.
That wasn't cool, Texas.
No, my only thing I was saying is that fucking slavery is evil before.
But I just think that like more, we're more in the phase of like normalizing the idea than we are in actually like saying like, okay, now let's fucking make moves for Texas to secede.
So even something like it being on the ballot in Texas is huge.
Just the idea being in few, just people even moving the Overton window to the point that like you could even conceive of that is one thing.
But if that time ever did come where people are really talking about like we are going to declare our independence, look, this country, that's our history, right?
We declared our independence and then there's a war that fucking follows afterward.
So I think it would be like really incumbent on you to like, and look, I'm fucking 40.
I don't know.
I'm probably not fighting in any fucking war either unless I really goddamn have to.
But I think it would be like you're going to need a whole lot of 20 year old boys who are willing to fucking risk their lives.
And I would tend to lean toward let's talk to them and see if they really want to do this.
And I don't know if you've seen, like, I don't know if you've seen our 20-year-old boys, but half of them are now 20-year-old girls.
So they may not be ready, is all I'm saying.
But it's an interesting, it's an interesting, you know, question to think about.
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Kamala Harris Fat Joke00:15:24
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All right, let's get back on the show.
Where are we at, Rob?
Right over here.
Hey, Dave, I have a question about replacing Joe Biden.
So how do you, with the whole DEI thing that the left has pushed really hard for the entire time, how do you pull Kamala Harris out of being the potential first black female president?
Oh, that's such a good question.
And that's really, that's the position that they're in, is that they fucking basically just picked her so that, because look, the whole reason why she's the vice president is because Joe Biden is such a fucking just crusty old rich white guy and who's been in power for 40 plus years.
And they had to sell him to the fucking liberal Democratic voters.
So they're like, fuck, this is such a big problem because everything we always talk about is how evil rich white men are.
And now this is a, so, but look, you put Kamala Harris there, and now this ticket is historic.
The first ever female vice president, and she's a woman of color and all of this.
And now they want to get rid of him, but she's just so awful.
Like, have you ever like just listened to Kamala Harris talk?
And she really does, like, she just like, if, like, if you, anyone here who doesn't smoke weed, ever taken an Oedipal?
And, like, you're just like, yo, I'm on fucking top of a cloud right now.
That's how Kamala Harris talks always.
Like, it really, it makes what she's saying make sense if you think about it like that.
You're just like on a fucking edible and you're basically tripping the balls off.
I love the moon.
And she goes, hey, what do you think about what NASA is doing?
And she's like, space is out there.
And out there is space.
And it's space.
You know, like it's just.
But so, yeah, that's their problem is they got to find a way around her.
And you know, she's going to fight for it.
And all she has to do is what?
Say, I'm the next in line.
And oh, look, they're passing up a woman of color because blah, It's a very tough thing.
I don't know how they get out of that.
My guess is they got to bribe the shit out of her with something.
So whatever the next thing is, they're going to be like, you'll be a fucking Supreme Court justice or you'll be the Secretary of State.
They got to give her something.
I don't know exactly what it'll be, but they've painted themselves into a weird woke corner.
So following up on that, my other question that was in mind with this was, if Campbell's Supreme Court judges, they've already got some blood around there.
So Shabolo be the first black Supreme Court to be out of the way.
Right.
And number two, if they replace her with Michelle Obama, are you going to tell the entire flag of vote that black women are just interchangeable pieces when they're all near text?
Well, maybe the angle would be that actually we have a black trans woman.
Michael Obama, there you go.
They got out woke her somehow, and that's why Michelle pulls that big old thong out and lets the world know.
Hey, she's special.
If it's big enough, I'll vote for her.
I'll just say that.
I don't think it's going to be Michelle Obama, but there is, Michelle Obama has a fucking appeal that Kamala Harris will never have.
You know, like she's, for whatever reason, they love, like, fucking liberal women love her in a way they don't love Kamala Harris, you know?
So, but I don't know.
I don't know what the fucking reasoning will be.
Hey Dave, big fan of the show.
Just wanted to comment on mentioning why Putin didn't want to talk about Joseph Stalin.
Joseph Stalin, as you guys know, born in Georgia.
Was my father, and so if my accent sounds like I'm born and raised in Texas, then as a Russian speaker, his accent sounds like he's born and raised in Russia.
So if you guys had a leader who sounded like me, be responsible for the bloodiest part of your history, you would also avoid the conversation.
Is he talking in Russian?
What the fuck is this guy saying?
I don't know, but I think this guy's our next president.
You will vote for me.
Nah, that's all I had to say.
I'm going to come over here for a couple more.
I'm sorry.
I just didn't catch any of that, man.
I wanted to respond to some of that.
I'm sorry.
It's the House PA system.
I just didn't get that.
But yes, long live Stalin.
I think that was the point.
Hi, Dave.
Hello.
Am I looking even in the right direction over here?
Sorry, the lights are all in my...
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
There you go.
All right, see it.
Gotcha.
Yeah, I just wanted to circle back to the Putin interview.
One of the parts that I found very interesting was when Tucker Carlson seemingly made an attempt to get Putin to free a journalist.
So do you think that was like a legitimate attempt to do that or just bullshit?
Or somewhere in between?
I mean, I don't know.
It seemed like pretty legitimate to me.
So I thought, you know, a lot of people were saying they were criticizing him before the interview being like, I bet he doesn't even bring up this American journalist, but he did.
And I don't know, you know, I'll fucking plead ignorance on this.
I don't know enough about that actual story.
But Tucker was kind of like, look, come on, he was just a kid.
Like, fucking just let him go.
And Putin was like, no, he was actually getting some fucking classified information.
And so, you know, we fucking kind of got him.
I don't know what's right about that.
But I did think it was fucking...
Yeah, you know, you had to at least, it's good for him to at least try.
Just fucking try to.
And he pushed on it.
It was ballsy as hell.
He went over to Russia and he said, hey, I got to ask this question and I got to ask it a second time.
Listen, man, think about, really for a second, think about.
It's pretty fucking ballsy that Tucker Carlson did that, dude.
Like the whole fucking thing.
Forget even the ballsiness of anything being scared of Putin.
Just like, dude, the European Union was seriously floating out, banning his fucking, like, travel restrictions and, like, sanctioning him and all this shit.
The fucking...
You know how many people in fucking...
This is not...
Look, the fucking most powerful people in America did not want that interview to happen.
Like, he fucking made enemies amongst like very powerful, shadowy forces in America.
And he went and fucking did the interview because I think he thinks this war is really dangerous and Americans needed to hear the other side of the story.
And then while he's there, he fucking pressed Putin and asked him some fucking tough questions.
So my, you know, who knows?
Maybe there's some fucking conspiracy going on that I can't see all the depths of, but my initial surface level reaction to that is like, nah, it's pretty fucking courageous that he went over and did that.
And I thought it was cool that he asked about that guy.
I mean, it was a long shot.
I don't think Putin was going to be like, all right.
Get out of here.
Fuck.
Yeah, you got me.
Let's go.
But it was good that he asked, I guess.
I don't know.
What have we got?
How much?
What do we got?
Let's do two more.
Two more.
All right.
Okay, I'm going to go off topic a little bit.
But you kept saying, oh, we're getting good.
And recently I've been looking into more of how they're putting hormones and different things in our foods.
Before I used to think that it was more about saving money, but now I'm like, uh...
Wait, I'm sorry, what was more about saving money?
Like, all the pesticides and the hormones they have in the foods.
Right.
I used to think, oh, they're just trying to save money.
But now I'm like, wait a minute.
So, like, what are your thoughts on that?
Because you keep saying, we're eating good.
And recently I'm like, oh, I don't know if I want to eat anywhere.
I'm like, oh.
I'm sorry, I'm just not following you.
More confusing than the Russian guy.
Wait, so you're talking about the hormones and food that are having what effect?
I mean, I don't want to say effects right now.
Like, we're not like, I mean, there's cancer and different things here more here in America more than anywhere else, I believe.
But I'm just saying that.
I haven't really researched, but recently, me and myself, I just don't feel comfortable eating out or anywhere.
I'm just like, even when I buy it.
I personally blame the mRNAs.
Let's move on.
Well, I will say that.
So this is something I really liked about Bobby Kennedy's presidential campaign is that he would bring up this shit that really, I gotta say, I don't know that much about, but he would bring up things that like, hey, you know, America leads the world in chronic disease.
And you're like, oh, I didn't know that.
I had noticed we were pretty fat.
Like, I didn't know that.
And it is like, this is just a thing.
I'll tell you, okay, this is just totally anecdotal.
And I do not, I have like no level of knowledge in this department.
So take this with an absolute grain of salt.
But I know my wife has like a severe gluten allergy.
Like she cannot eat gluten.
It fucks her up.
And she's not faking it.
I've seen her.
Like she gets these crazy sinus headaches and shit if she eats gluten.
But she goes to Italy, she could eat all the fucking gluten and shit she wants over there.
And I know you got Louis J. Gomez, okay?
Who some of you may know him.
If you don't know him, you don't need to.
But if you know who he is, he's like Lewis, I don't know how I would describe his metabolism, but like God wants him to be fat.
And Lewis has to wake up every day and work out all day and be on like a keto diet and like be obsessed with not eating one fucking carb in order to not be fat.
All he has to do, like, you know, your friend who has the worst metabolism ever, all he has to do is take the foot, his foot off the brake and he'll gain 40 pounds.
Like if he, like, every vacation he goes on, he leaves thin and comes back fat.
But that's only like vacations in America.
And when he went to Italy, he said he ate like he ate pizza and bread the whole time and he came back thinner than he was when he left.
And okay, whatever.
This is just totally anecdotal, whatever evidence.
But I'm just saying there is some shit in our food that is not in the fucking food in fucking Europe.
That it's just like, I've just seen enough examples of this.
I don't know exactly what it is.
I'm not the expert, but there's some fucking poison going on in our shit that other countries are not dealing with.
So take that for what it's worth.
I don't know enough to fucking like talk more about this.
I'm sure there are people who do, but some fucking shit's going on.
And I will say that I do know enough to know that like, dude, just like the attitude in America about like putting kids on drugs and fucking just like it's all so crazy.
So crazy.
You ever done fucking Adderall?
Like as an adult?
You ever done Adderall?
That's a fucking drug.
Like you take that shit and you're like, yo, I am fucking racing right now.
And they put six-year-olds on that shit.
If a six-year-old boy fucking has like restless leg syndrome, they give him the same meth that me and Rob enjoy as adults.
It's crazy.
All right, what do we got?
Dave.
Yes, sir.
What is your favorite part about being friends with Michael Malice?
I wouldn't say I'm friends with Michael Malice.
You know what I mean?
I wouldn't like, my favorite, dude, Michael Malice.
Clap your hands if you know who Michael Malice is.
It's a pretty good.
It's a pretty good percentage of recruitment.
Can I tell you honestly, this is my own ego, Rob.
It bothered me how many people knew.
I was hoping, I was looking for like five, ten people.
I didn't like that most of the room.
No, he wasn't.
Michael is, he's an amazing human being.
And he is the most like sarcastic, evil little prick.
But he's also the most loyal and genuine good friend.
I don't know how exactly to describe that, but like what you see of Michael Malice being like the master troll who's like, you just see him like ruining someone's day and then going like, you know, like, but as a person, he is the most genuine and loyal friend.
And it's just those two sides of anyone, I don't know, I always liked stuff like that.
That's why I'm friends with Lewis.
Because he's just like, he's a fucking goddamn like Puerto Rican savage with an IQ of maybe 80.
You know?
But then he's also like, I was a musical theater major or something like that.
And you're just like, I gotta fucking ride with that guy.
What I learned from that is you can cure gayness.
Yeah.
And the cure is Louis J. Gomez.
That's what he'll do it.
So if we ever want to cure Michael Malice's gayness, we just got to get him in the room with Louis J. Gomez.
That part's getting cut.
I mean, I think this whole thing's getting cut, Rob.
I don't think any of this is coming out.
I want to have a career and friendships at the end of this.
Well, look, I will say that I haven't been in the secret group in a few years.
I haven't been in Houston in a few years.
And I really am so grateful that you guys filled up all the shows tonight.
I much appreciate that.
A lot of appreciates that show.
I'll be outside in about 10 minutes to take some pictures if you guys want to.
Thank you guys for coming out tonight.
Give yourselves a round of applause and have a good night.