Dave Smith and Robbie Bernstein critique government overreach and Super Bowl halftime content, then pivot to predicting a Bernie Sanders victory over Joe Biden in the Iowa caucuses. They argue Democrats, backed by billionaires like those at Goldman Sachs, fear Sanders' socialism more than Trump's populism, while dismissing Hunter Biden's Ukraine dealings as "nobody is saying that." Ultimately, they warn that if Democrats lose, their detachment from reality will fuel conspiracy theories, leaving them trapped in a lie where admitting error becomes impossible. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Government Overreach and Prisons00:15:07
Fill her up.
You are listening to the Gash Digital Network.
We need to roll back the state.
We spy on all of our own citizens.
Our prisons are flooded with nonviolent drug offenders.
If you want to know who America's next enemy is, look at who we're funding right now.
Every single one of these problems are a result of government being way too big.
You're listening to part of the problem on the Gash Digital Network.
Here's your host, James Smith.
What's up?
What the heck is up?
Sorry for the profanity early in the show, everybody.
Jimity Crickets.
It is the day after Super Bowl Sunday.
It is the day of the Iowa caucusize.
And I am the most consistent motherfucker you know or have ever known or will ever know.
Eternally inconsistency, Dave Smith.
And I'm joined by the fire, Robbie Bernstein, the king of the caucs.
What's up, Rob?
I'm excited to beer as always.
Mondays are always a good day for me.
Refresh from a nice weekend.
Refresh.
You got a nice glass of water in front of you.
You're starting off right.
You're on a new diet.
No new diet, but you know, who needs to drink on a Monday?
I just like that every Monday, you start off with all the hope in the world.
That's right.
Things are going to be different.
We're going to change.
You're like Obama in 2008.
Everything is, yes, we can.
And then by Friday, you're Trump in 2016.
That's what happens.
Burn the whole thing down.
You spend enough time at work and just, it weighs on a man.
Well, you know what might help you, you know, help you get over that is going on the road a little bit.
And luckily, me and you are going on the road.
Wow.
You mean it, Dave?
Well, we're going to Boston this Friday, but that show's already sold out.
So if you didn't get tickets already, you fucked up for eternity.
You'll never fucking get another chance until we're back in Boston, probably sometime next year.
But if you live in the Philly area, we will be there on the 21st, and those tickets are selling quickly from what I understand.
Don't be one of those Boston assholes who's going to have to be in the parking lot trying to blow me or Dave just to get entry.
Which is, and by the way, we're just going to take the blowjob and then tell you that we can't get you in anyway.
Yeah, there's no contract when you're doing park and lot blowjobs.
Those are the ultimate losers or winners, depending on, you know, I have the beholder.
Try and explain that to the guy at the door.
Yeah.
Yeah, really.
Try.
He's like, no, no, no, we had a verbal contract before the blowjob.
Anyway, February 21st, we're in Philadelphia.
We got a live podcast and a live comedy show.
Two separate shows at what's the name of the spot again?
All right.
All right, I'll go.
I thought you had the phone out.
You went into the show.
All right.
I'll go tweet it out after the show.
But two separate shows.
They're both filling up very quickly.
So if you want to come, that's only two and a half weeks away.
Make sure you go get tickets.
Frankie Bradley's.
Frankie Bradley's in Philadelphia.
Philadelphia, the city of brotherly love.
And I'm pretty sure that's not a black reference.
I think it's just any brothers can love each other.
Anyway, for more witty comedy like that, come on out, Philadelphia.
I promise it will be better than that.
But Philly, that's my joke now.
And then we're also going to be in Rochester.
That's not till, when is that?
That's in May.
May 2nd, we'll be out in Rochester.
So if you want to, still plenty of tickets left for that.
So go check that out.
Of course, I'm also, by the way, I'm going to be on the Contra Cruise.
That's later in the year this year.
If you want to come on the Contra Cruise, man, the most fucking fun time you'll ever have if you're a libertarian or a comedy fan.
Come on out to the Conjure Cruise.
It's a lot of fun sailing all around the Caribbean, I believe, this year.
Tom Woods, Bob Murphy, I'm going to be there.
Scott Horton's going to be there.
Phil from All That Remains is coming this year, which is fucking awesome.
I'm so excited to meet him and hang out with him.
I went to an All That Remains show like fucking five years ago.
Love those guys, and he's a big libertarian, so I'm excited to have him on the cruise this year as well.
And we're doing a roast of me, doing a roast of Dave Smith aboard the Conjure Cruise.
I agreed to do a roast with no other comedians present.
That was my deal.
Smart?
Yeah.
No, it's the best way to do it.
Who's the Deus?
I think Tom Woods and Bob Murphy and all those guys.
But now they're getting sneaky.
Okay, see, I didn't realize this, but now they're like, they're getting like roast jokes from audience members.
So now there's like a lot of minds coming together.
Yeah, they're going to make it up on volume.
That is sneaky.
I didn't see that coming.
Anyway, so all that good stuff.
Got a lot of stuff.
2020 is going to be a big year.
And of course, tonight is the Iowa caucuses.
The timing of our schedule is a little unfortunate.
I believe people are just starting.
I was going to say cast their votes, but I don't exactly understand how a caucus works.
People are just starting to blow their horns and enter into different corners of the room or whatever these weird Iowans do.
But the next episode will break down all the results of that.
I'll tell you right now, I am predicting a big Bernie Sanders win.
I just think he's got the momentum and that's where it's going.
Anyway, we'll get into some talk about politics and the state of everything.
Did you watch the Super Bowl, Rob?
Yes and no.
I attended a Super Bowl gathering.
I didn't watch any of it, though.
Yeah.
Yeah, it was mixed.
It was boring.
My nephew, like, every time I sat down to watch it, he ran up like, here, throw me the baseball.
And I wasn't going to say no.
So throwing a baseball indoors, that's dangerous.
Yeah, we were doing it.
My parents got a little bit of room in the kitchen.
We were throwing around a baseball.
We played a little hockey.
All in the kitchen?
All in the kitchen.
Oh, good for you guys.
Yeah, we had a good time.
And I cooked up some ribs, dude.
Some delicious ribs.
Oh, yeah.
Made your own ribs?
Yeah.
Up on the grill, I just threw some schwarmer spices on it.
It was a win.
Last year, I went to a Super Bowl party.
And this year, we just stayed at.
Last year was actually, it was the first time me and my wife went out since she had the baby.
Like the first time we both went out.
And it was, you know, it was a goddamn, I mean, it was a lot of fun.
The Super Bowl party itself was a lot of fun, and it was fun to get out of the house.
But the baby was staying with my mother-in-law.
My wife was still breastfeeding at the time.
And she wouldn't, at the time, it's been basically a few weeks since she hasn't been.
But so the baby's breastfeeding, and then she wouldn't take the bottle from my mother-in-law.
And so my mother allowed to call us like a couple hours in.
Like, hey, she won't take the bottle.
You guys got to come home.
So we literally went for the first half and then came back.
But even that was like, oh, it was nice to get out.
This year, we were just like, we got invited back to the same Super Bowl party.
I was just like, you know what?
Her mother couldn't come do the babysitting.
And basically our only babysitters are our mothers, my mother and her mother.
And her mother couldn't come.
And my mother, my sister, who also just had a baby, was up for the weekend.
So my mother was helping out with my nephew.
And she watched my daughter on Friday when I came in and did the podcast.
And I just didn't want to ask her to babysit again because she had had like kind of a stressful, not stressful, but just a lot week.
So me and my wife and my daughter just hung out.
That was our Super Bowl party.
What's better than that?
It was so great.
It was so great.
My wife made wings.
Yeah.
That's it.
Had some wings, some chips and guac.
Kept it simple.
Yeah.
And it was just fucking great.
Good game, by the way.
Real good game.
Congratulations to the Chiefs.
I thought they played a hell of a game.
I also appreciate the obvious Elizabeth Warren jokes that all just write themselves.
What was Chiefs?
Get it?
She's a fake Indian.
Okay.
A lot of good, a lot of Twitter gold happening there the day before the Iowa caucuses for the Chiefs to win with Elizabeth Warren running.
I like that Andy Reid finally got his win.
He's been standing on the sidelines looking like a fat pig for like 20 years.
Yeah, well, you know, he finally Andy Reed's not going to look like anything else than a fat pig.
But you know what?
I really, I was happy for Andy Reid too.
And I thought that he always got like a bum rap.
Let me, I'll tell you this.
I, as a hardcore Knick fan my entire life, I always hated that the, you know, it's like this fucking look, and I get it.
It's something about New York particularly, but just America in general.
It's like we're like winners and everybody else.
And that's it.
You either win or you don't.
And if you don't win, you fucking get labeled this thing.
But I remember people would always be like, oh, Patrick Ewing never got the ring.
And that's kind of like what defines him.
And Patrick Ewing took the Knicks to a finals, and Jon Starks had a shot to win the finals.
Like it was game six against the Houston Rockets.
We were down two points.
He shoots a three.
Elijah Wong got his tips on it at Airballs.
But if Jon Starks hits that shot, then the narrative on Patrick Ewing is he brought the ring to New York.
But since John Starks missed that shot, the narrative on Patrick Ewing is he never got the ring.
And I always thought that was so unfair.
You're like, so you're, you know, it's like just one little shot goes different.
But even more unfair than that would be like the knock on a coach for not.
And people would knock Andy Reid for like, oh, he never won the Super Bowl ring or as a head coach, never won the Super Bowl ring.
And you're like, I mean, he took the Eagles to three championship games in a row.
They went to NFC championships three years in a row.
Are you really going to knock him for not getting the Super Bowl?
Like, it's not, at the end of the day, he can't make the play.
Is it?
And then he took him to a fucking Super Bowl.
And fucking Donovan McNabb puked on their last fucking drive that that was like to win the game.
It's like, is it his fault McNabb puked?
Like, you know, so it was kind of nice to see that.
Also, I think his kid killed himself or something.
He's had, you know, some fucked up things happen.
So that was cool.
And they were, they were down 10 points in the fourth quarter.
It was a pretty incredible comeback.
And, you know, Super Bowl isn't always a great competitive game.
This one was.
It was fun.
49ers haven't won since I was a kid.
I'm pretty sure that's that city.
Rich.
Rich, a lot of homeless.
Rich, poor.
I hate them both.
Hate the rich, hate the poor.
Sunny there.
The true libertarian way.
I hate everybody.
The top, the bottom.
I'm a middle guy.
Yeah.
Upper middle, preferably.
Like, what do they have going on in Kansas?
San Francisco's got a whole tech boom.
Yeah, Kansas needs a little win.
Well, you're making the mistake, the same mistake the president did.
The stadium is in Missouri.
Missouri.
Kansas City is one of these tricky things.
I've been to Kansas City to do comedy.
It was years ago, but it's half of Kansas City is in Kansas and half is in Missouri.
That can't make sense out of that.
That's not a me problem.
That's on them.
No, no, I completely agree with you.
It's not on you.
And also, don't call yourself Kansas City then.
Call yourself something else.
Call it Kansas, Missouri City or something.
But they came back and won.
So it was a fucking fun game, entertaining game.
Call ourselves half Kansas, half Kansas.
That even sounds cool.
Half-cans?
Half-cans.
Oh, the Half-Cans.
Yeah.
And this guy's so bad.
All the Half-Cans.
Take over some of the Chiefs.
Yeah, it really is.
Even when I did that 50s racist voice, it is less racist than the Chiefs.
But hey, what are you going to do?
Whenever that came about, I'm sure it was a compliment to Native Americans.
So there was a lot of talk about the halftime show.
A lot of Twitter was ablaze about the halftime show.
And I get it.
I get why it was, there were a lot of people talking about it.
Did you watch the halftime show?
I watched some of it on YouTube later, but I didn't stick around to watch it live.
But I tell you this before, my mom's there, my dad's there, my grandpa's sitting on the couch.
I'm like, I'll go watch Filthy Slot Horrors at Home.
Yeah, yeah, it's weird.
Well, here's the funny thing, right?
So I also did not watch the halftime show live.
Literally, I was putting my daughter to bed during the halftime show.
So I was putting the baby to sleep.
And then I was like, you know, whatever.
I don't really give a shit about the halftime show.
I'm in it for the woke commercials.
So I would put the baby to sleep.
And then I saw people on Twitter were like all going crazy about it.
So today, during the day, I meant to like, oh, let me check this out to just see what everyone's talking about.
And I was just scrolling through Facebook and I saw someone had shared like a Jennifer Lopez fan page thing on it.
And so I watched it.
I mean, I didn't watch the whole thing.
I skimmed through it a bit, but I watched, you know, a decent amount of it.
And I, you know, it was funny was even I started reading the comments because I was just kind of curious.
Like, and this is even on a J-Lo fan page.
I would say just rough estimate, non-scientific.
About 40% of the comments were people just being like, this was really trashy and inappropriate.
Like, it's just like kind of like, ah, all right, J-Lo.
Like, do you have to be like fucking like, you're kind of like, she was like grabbing her pussy at one point in the thing.
Just shaking her ass.
And listen, I'm not even just trying to make the same basic conservative conservative.
Well, right.
But I'm trying to be a unique Christian conservative.
No, look, here's the truth.
I do understand.
Maybe it's just my age or being a father now or whatever.
I don't know.
But I do understand where people go like, could you not?
Like, this is something I watch with my kids.
There's kids in the stands.
Can we just not make this such a sexualized thing?
You know, like, even if you're not like against, like, can we just compartmentalize it a little bit?
Can it not be in this thing that draws a lot of kids to watch it?
You know, and I am.
I'm very sympathetic to that argument.
And, you know, my daughter's only one years old.
So it's one year.
I don't think you can say years at one.
She's a one-year-old.
And so it's not something I really have to worry about yet for my own situation, but I do start to think about that down there.
And I'd rather, you know, shield her from things like that for as long as possible.
I certainly understand why people feel that way.
Even if you don't think like, even if you don't hate the sexualized culture and things like that, can you at least kind of say, yeah, you know, maybe things don't need to like, maybe it doesn't need to be on primetime TV in a kind of thing that is supposed to be suitable for all audiences.
Can we just be a good family watching grown men develop CTE concussions and not have to deal with women shaking their asses in our face?
Isn't that the Christian conservative way?
You tell me.
No, I feel the same way.
Shakira's Aging Act00:04:15
I want to see dudes in Spandex be violent towards each other.
That's what I tuned in for.
Wholesome fun.
I also love that at the beginning when it was like, they had the kids there for 100 more years.
And I was like, of kids getting horrible injuries.
Yeah.
Well, that's, I mean.
So much military propaganda, too.
I mean, like.
Oh, it's outrageous.
It's just outrageous.
But that's true at every, that's not just the Super Bowl.
That's true at every fucking football game.
I mean, just going to a like, like, you know, week four fucking Jets first fucking Jaguars game and you see it's just constantly thanking the troops and the Pentagon pays for that shit.
It's all it's all fucking delayed.
They got the budget.
So that bothered me too, you know, and then I see all that stuff.
But there is something about the, You know, I get where people are just kind of like, look, man, it's like you said, a lot of people are watching this game with their kids, with their parents, with their family.
And it's just a little bit weird to see like a, you know, look, it was Shakira and J-Lo.
And it's just a very sexualized thing.
It's like the whole thing.
I mean, I don't, the weird thing is these are like stars from my childhood, like my teenage years is when these guys, I don't really know about Shakira, but J-Lo was big when I was in high school.
And I think Shakira, too.
I don't know.
Maybe it was a few years later.
So it was a rock and roller.
Yeah.
Well, you know, I was never a big fan of either of theirs, but Shakira's whole thing seems to be ass shaking.
Like that's like what she brings to the table.
And it's just, I don't know.
I get where people are kind of like, you know, you might like looking at a chick's ass and you might like hanging out with your mom, but you're like, can we keep these separate?
Like, I don't like to do them all at once, you know?
So, so I completely understand that.
The thing that more struck me was just, I just found the thing so cringy.
Like, they're just too old.
They're too old to be doing this.
It's so weird to see moms shaking their ass in like on stage.
I said this to you before, Rob, but it's like, to me, I think slutty dancing and gangster rap are for the young.
This is a 20-year-old's game and you should leave it to them.
You could push it up to like 25.
But beyond that, it's just so fucking cringe to see like, to see a 50-year-old like fucking spreading her legs in a half thong, like grabbing her crotch and shit.
You're like, this is, she's a, she is a, a mom in the Puerto Rican community.
She's a grandmother, okay?
She's a, she's a young grandma in the white community and an average grandma in the Puerto Rican community from what I understand.
And it's just strange.
It's strange to see this.
So it's this weird thing where like, see, you almost like, like, obviously Shakira.
I mean, maybe Shakira has some talent.
I don't, I don't really know anything about her.
J-Lo was never a good singer.
She was never a good singer.
J-Lo, she was never a good actress.
JLo was the hot chick.
That's what she was.
She was the hot chick with like a fat booty.
Like that was her thing.
And that's what she got famous for.
And fine, whatever.
You know, that's what you get famous for.
But then there's this weird cultural dynamic where because she got famous for that and something about the culture of America that we live in, it's like we have to keep pretending that, like, oh, and she's still hot.
And there's almost like some virtue points in that being like, oh, she looks great for 50.
It's like, yeah, I guess, but she doesn't look like she used to.
And why are we pretending she does?
Like, just can she move on?
Or if you're still going to be performing, at least like grow up with it a little bit.
It's, it's, I listen, and it's not like even a fucking man-woman thing.
That's why I mentioned the gangster rap thing.
I find that I find the same thing when I've seen like gangster rappers performing like later in life.
Like even when they're performing their old songs.
I don't know if I see Mick Jagger and he ain't moving his hips.
Tax Season and Parental Control00:06:26
I'm out of that concert.
Yeah, you know, I'll grant you that one.
Mick Jagger, I kind of feel differently about.
But there's something about like I've seen like Dr. Dre or someone like that like in concert.
I mean, not live, but just like seeing a video of them in concert and they're still doing their old songs.
And there's just something about like a 50-year-old talking about like fuck the police or something like that.
You're like, you need them.
You got to protect your beats wealth, buddy.
This is lame.
Like, it just seems lame.
This is like cool for a rebellious 17-year-old to listen to, but you're 50.
Like, you're too old to be that kid's dad.
So, just stop.
Maybe not too old, but you're the age to be that kid's dad.
It's just, it just feels so lame, and it makes you fucking cringe inside a little bit.
And I just, you know, I felt that a lot watching the halftime show.
I just, it was like, this is, this is so weird and uncomfortable.
And you would think, like, I don't know.
You would assume that with the halftime show of a Super Bowl, you'd be like, well, look, this is the biggest event.
It's basically the natural, the national religion.
We're all watching this thing.
So you'd want something that's not going to just play to the left or the right or the middle or whatever.
You want something that like everybody could just enjoy.
Well, but not this.
This really doesn't.
And it's just, it just seems so weirdly like forced and in people's faces.
I guess it gives everyone hope that they can age well, you know?
I'd still bone both of them.
Maybe.
Well, it pissed a lot of people off.
But I guess it generated controversy, and that's what they're for.
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All right, let's get back into the show.
I also, and I hate to fucking continue down this theme, but I just, I saw like several different libertarian tweets in response.
This is kind of touching on the theme that I was mentioning the other episode, but there's several libertarian Twitter accounts who I guess I follow or who, you know, someone I follow retweets or something like that, who I saw, who were kind of like in response to conservatives being like, hey, I'm watching with my kids.
Could we not have like a chick in a thong or a chick shaking her ass or whatever?
And they were like, they were like, hey, how about the NFL can do whatever they want to and it's your job to raise your kids.
And I just kind of, I don't know.
Like, I hate when libertarians just can't go to like the next level where it's like, yeah, none of us are suggesting that there should be a law compelling the fucking, you know, decency standards on the NFL.
Like, okay, we wouldn't be libertarians if we were arguing for that, right?
We're there.
But then one level above that, like scratch one more brain cell through this argument.
And it's like, yeah, okay, I get it.
But then if you're just saying, well, the market should decide, well, aren't they, as fans of the NFL, part of the market?
Isn't them voicing their opinion as a consumer, as a customer, a legitimate market function the same way that having this halftime show is a legitimate market function?
It's like, okay, so take it to the next.
And by the way, there are almost always young libertarians who don't have kids, like who are making these points.
It's like, yeah, no, I get what you're saying.
Listen, the buck stops with me with raising my daughter.
Yes, you're right.
If I feel like the fucking Super Bowl is too trashy in their halftime show, then we won't watch it in my house.
Okay, fine.
Fair enough.
And yes, nobody should initiate violence against anybody else, of course.
But can you also understand the argument where it's like, if you are raising a kid, it's kind of tough when something as mainstream as the Super Bowl has stuff that you don't want your kids to see in it.
You know what I mean?
Like, are you not allowed to voice that concern now?
Is that the libertarian position?
And by the way, it's like, it's so fucking infuriating because it's really like, it's, I mean, you know, I rarely talk this way, but it's a low IQ argument.
It is literally a low IQ argument.
Because in the same sense that you go, hey, man, could the Super Bowl stop being so trashy with their halftime shows?
And you go, oh, the only libertarian position is the NFL can do whatever they want to.
What are you suggesting they write a law?
It's like, oh, I don't know.
Are you suggesting that you write a law to fucking enforce the Super Bowl?
Like, no, nobody's suggesting that, right?
So no one said anything about that.
Are you fucking suggesting that we write rules that they have to fucking be slutty?
Okay, it's the same fucking thing.
Nobody's like suggesting the government dictate anything here, but it's just like, I don't know, it's kind of hard when it's fucking like I can control my kid not watching an adult show or not fucking going in some like bad, you know, in a strip club or something like that.
But it's kind of hard when it's fucking on NBC or whatever, what was it, Fox this year, like fucking in prime time at like the national fucking holiday.
I don't know.
Who are the big rock acts that I don't think ACDC or Metallica have done it?
I could both see it.
I think Arrow Smith did.
Libertarian Speech Consequences00:04:31
I think Steven Tyler did like a few years ago or maybe more than a few years ago.
It all blends together.
I could see John Foggerty doing a good spot in there.
Maybe.
Didn't Rolling Stones do it once?
Yeah, when you had that thing with the titty coming out and Janet Jackson horrifying all of us.
That was Justin Timberlake and Janet Jackson.
Yeah, the wardrobe, whatever, showing us kids some nipples.
People were all in an uproar.
That was a different time in America.
So then they went to the conservative.
They went back to back.
It was Stones, The Who.
I thought maybe Paul McCartney.
Was it Paul McCartney one of those years too?
Maybe.
They did Bruce Springsteen, who I don't care.
Bruce Springsteen did it.
I remember Bruce Springsteen did it and he played like three new songs.
Oh, and everyone's like, and I was like, what the fuck are you doing right now?
Born to Run.
And then he was ride.
And he came out with Born to Run.
And you were like, all right, Bruce, fine.
At least just play the fucking hits.
This isn't your crowd here to be like, what are you working on, Bruce?
Like, fucking play the goddamn hits.
But I just, I don't know.
I don't like, you know, you can't.
I guess what just bothers me about the fucking the libertarian thing too, is that it's and i've come across this a lot recently where I, I like I said something like um, I tweeted something the other uh, uh the other day about how like uh, there's this new thing and it's specifically been said where a friend of mine, you know, was getting death threats for a joke that they tweeted uh, about Kobe Bryant,
Let's just call him Shari Bafir.
Okay.
And he, and he was getting death.
And I said, I was like, you know, I saw a lot of people, a lot of people, and they were tweeting this thing where they're like, I believe in free speech, but speech has consequences.
So it's almost kind of, and when you say that in response to somebody getting death threats for a joke, a comedian getting death threats for a joke, and then there'll be these fucking idiotic responses like, well, I didn't find it funny.
It's like, I don't give a fuck if you found it funny or not.
I don't fucking care.
It's not like, like if fucking, like, I don't know, like Brian Regan and Jim Gaffigan and Bill Burr and Dave Chappelle all came out with new specials today and you pick one, you didn't like that one, and someone was threatening to kill them over that.
And you go, well, I didn't find that special funny.
Like, well, who gives a fuck?
Who fucking cares if you found it funny or not?
Like, and you go, well, I'm for free speech, but speech has consequences.
It's like, wait, like violent consequences?
So anyway, somebody I know, you know, getting doxed, getting fucking threatened.
And then there was people like, well, I'm for free speech, but speech has consequences.
And I tweeted out where I was like, okay, well, here's the only consequence that there should be for a comedian making a joke that you don't like.
Don't laugh.
That's it.
Any other consequence from that, that is like insanity.
And then there's all these people who are like, well, actually, that's not the libertarian answer.
The libertarianism just says that the government shouldn't write a law or that no one should initiate force, but there could be lots of other consequences.
Like you could get fired or blah, blah, blah.
It's like, yeah, dude, no, I know.
Do you think, like, do you really think I don't know libertarianism 101, the most basic bitch libertarian argument there is?
You think I'm unfamiliar with this?
It's like, yes, no, I know.
I live in this fucking world.
I'm aware that there is like there, there can't, I'm like, the same way that you're kind of like, well, the libertarian answer is the market decides what it's like, yeah, I'm now participating in the market and telling you what I think the appropriate response should be.
So I'm not advocating the government fucking, you know what I mean, like force comedians to make these jokes.
The same way you're not advocating the government force comedians to not make these jokes.
Now we're participating in the market.
Like that's, that's the fucking thing that I don't understand where libertarians can't like address this where you're like, oh, okay, well, like, yeah, the, the market should be like, well, people can voice their opinions and do whatever they want.
It's like, right, that's what I'm doing.
I am, I am participating in the market right now and telling you what I think the response should be.
Anyway, goddamn it.
Fucking pisses me off.
I hate when libertarians disappoint me.
Bothers me.
It bothers me greatly.
All right.
Anyway, so I'm a little, I don't want to talk too much about Iowa on this podcast because basically about as soon as we're done with this podcast, they're going to come out and announce the winner.
Bernie Rally Stuck Points00:03:50
I'm thinking it's going to be Bernie.
That seems to be where the he seems to be the guy surging at the end, which is usually a pretty good sign.
And man, he's fucking drawing big crowds, dude.
He had a fucking rally there the other day.
There had to be 20, 30,000 people somewhere in that range.
And Joe Biden had a rally in a middle school fucking gym with like 600 people.
Just wants to get close to those kids.
Well, it wasn't just kids there.
I mean, they rented out a middle school gym.
But yeah, Joe Biden's carrying the middle school vote.
But, you know, so it's going to come out who won that.
And then our next podcast, we'll discuss the Bernie Rally.
Do you have any footage of Bernie Rally?
Does he carry it like Trump?
Is he good at it?
Well, it's not like Trump.
Nothing's like Trump.
No, he kind of repeats his platitudes, but it gets big pops.
But doesn't he just have the one line of, you know.
Oh, he's got a few.
Why should the 99%, the 1%?
Yeah, what's all in?
991.
You know, it's a lot of that.
It's a lot of fucking socialist, Jewish, autistic ramblings.
But he fucking works the crab pretty well.
I mean, they enjoy coming to see him.
Healthcare college, 99%, 1%.
I guess what we, well, here's what might be interesting to talk about, okay?
Is that, and this will be relevant after the caucuses and, you know, as much as it is now.
But it does seem to me, like, I mean, we've been talking about this for months and months and months now, like for a long time.
And it's really funny because one of the major themes of the Donald Trump presidency has not just, you know, it's not just about Donald Trump, which is almost like the first most obvious thing.
It's like, you know, and that's where so many people get stuck in the most obvious thing about Donald Trump.
And that's kind of like what the, what a lot of the mainstream media has been stuck in, where it's kind of like, you know, like if you turn on CNN, you know, or something like that, you watch like Brian Stelter's show, they're still just like, Donald Trump plays fast and loose with the facts.
And you're like, yes, we know.
We picked up on that like day one.
Like by the third day of his candidacy, that should have been old news.
But you're still like, and he's just all concerned with himself.
And you're like, yes, yes, that is true.
But the more interesting conversation is like what this says about where the country is at, what this says about like why people gravitated to him so much and why people hate him so much.
Like what is it that they hate so much?
And one of the more interesting things has been the effect.
This is what people call Trump derangement syndrome, but the effect that Donald Trump has on those who loathe him and oppose him.
And it kind of drives them crazy.
And sometimes they're driven so crazy that they can't see the obvious facts right in front of them.
And for months and months, we've been talking about like the kind of the thing that is interesting is that, holy shit, the Democrats have this fucking huge field and not a one of them are going to be able to beat Donald Trump.
Like you just go through the list and you're like, holy shit, you're telling me right now that your field consists of like an 80-year-old socialist who just had a heart attack and he's the guy with the energy.
And then you've got a 79-year-old ex-vice president, ex-senator who sounds more like a 95-year-old ex-vice president, ex-senator, who doesn't know what fucking state he's in, who's fucking weird and goes off on these tangents and can't deal with tough questions and all this shit.
And then you've got a fake Native American and a tiny, gay mayor of the fourth biggest city in Indiana.
Impeachment Policy Disagreements00:03:08
This is who you've got against him.
And we were saying like right away, you're like, just go through the list of them.
There's a reason, like every one of them, it's like something that just makes them impossible.
And it does seem like over the last week or so, like they were blinded to this the whole time, the mainstream, the establishment, because they're just kind of like, well, Trump is so bad.
We have to defeat him.
And look, he's being impeached.
And now, little by little, it's almost like you see them starting to realize this.
And what's happened is that Iowa is fast approaching.
It's literally underway as we're recording this.
And the impeachment is fastly fading into what we kind of all knew it would.
I mean, they made closing arguments today for the impeachment.
And this is just, I mean, I listened to some of the closing arguments.
It's just such a fucking, such a strong case that the fucking, that Trump's lawyers were making.
And like, as I always disclaim, I'm no fan of Donald Trump.
I'm not a Republican.
I've literally never voted for a Republican aside from fucking in the primaries for Ron Paul.
It's the only Republican I've ever voted for in my fucking life.
And I don't, and I've ever supported.
I'm no Republican.
I don't like the Republicans, but you just listen to their arguments.
It's such a fucking slam dunk of a fucking case.
We're just like, this is just not an impeachable offense.
I don't know what to tell you.
It's like, it's basically a policy disagreement that you have.
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Trump Reelection Game Over00:05:21
Anyway, so the impeachment, it's just becoming very clear.
The window for witnesses to be called is over.
That's not going to happen.
No Republicans are going to be able to.
They won't be able to save their fucking jobs if they turn on Trump now and vote.
So Trump's going to get off.
So impeachment isn't happening.
And we're moving into Iowa.
And holy shit, it looks like Bernie Sanders is going to win Iowa.
And even if Joe Biden or somebody else ends up winning, they're going to limp into this.
And now it's almost as if the fucking haze is parting a little bit.
And some people in the fucking Democrat establishment corporate press are starting to see the disaster that's been so obviously in front of them that a couple idiot comedians like me and you could just fucking see for months.
Like this is obviously going to be very dangerous situation for you guys where you think, because it also is, you know, for the for the corporate press and the Democratic establishment to be vindicated, they don't just have to eke out a victory against Donald Trump.
They have to have like a landslide.
Like they have to have something.
I mean, these are the people who put all of their chips into the center of the table on Donald Trump will never get elected.
If Donald Trump gets elected, it will be a disaster.
There'll be a stock market crash.
I mean, like major figures.
You know what I mean?
Paul Krugman predicted this.
All these people who are like their guys.
These are the people you're supposed to trust.
And they tell you Donald Trump will never get elected.
And if he does, it'll be a fucking stock market crash the first year.
And also he'll be impeached.
And also he's colluding with the Russians.
And one after another, all of these things just fades away.
Like it's all bullshit.
And even to even the simple-minded, and I put myself in that category, to even the simple people, we can look at this and go, you guys sure do seem to be wrong about everything, about everything.
So they need something big.
And if they get into this and now they're starting to realize, like, not only are we not getting something big here, we might actually lose.
And you're going to see, man, if Donald Trump getting reelected is like fucking game over for a lot of these people.
What happens if Trump gets elected because they really bogged down his entire, you know, first four years, it was Russia collusion followed by impeachment.
That's been the last four years.
That's all we've heard about in this country.
That's been all the news.
That's it.
That's been everything.
Will they actually let up and like let him kind of do four years or will it be a whole nother round of my guess is they double down on the crazy is there a possibility and I don't mean this just in the political level or the media level.
I mean the person you know who's the anti-Trump left-winger.
I think, you know, when you saw people like having meltdowns after Trump beat Hillary Clinton, I think it's going, I think it's going to get crazier and dumber than we could have possibly imagined.
I think it's going to be Russia interfered again.
The country is just that racist again.
Maybe some next thing that we're not even fucking aware of that'll be the next.
I think that they had so dug their heels into denying reality that there is going to be no fucking, like, you know, it's like, I'm trying to think of like a fucking analogy.
And you guys know I'm not good at these.
But it's like if you're caught in a lie and you swear to God and then you swear on your five children's lives and then you swear more.
And then it's like, now you're at a point where you just can't admit it.
Like you've almost painted yourself into a corner where now I can't just go, I'm sorry, I was full of shit.
You know what I mean?
Like you just can't.
And I feel like that's on every level, on every level, they're just like, well, this whole thing comes tumbling down if I admit it.
So I'm just going to fucking stay the course.
And then when is, I guess, how many, I don't know when the next Senate like cycle is, but how many Senate seats would they need to flip to just have a majority and impeach him?
Because if they have a majority, they'll just out him.
Well, a Senate term is six years, I believe.
And so there's going to be a whole bunch of senators that are up for election now.
No, the GOP needs to, the GOP needs to get Donald Trump re-elected and they need to keep the Senate at a bare minimum.
That's the other thing that's so funny about the impeachment thing is that I'm just projecting every local election is going to be basically a conversation of, do you want to get rid of Trump or do you want to keep Trump?
Which is almost like even less representative democracy where your local people aren't even going to be running on, hey, here's what I can do for you locally.
It's all going to be, hey, you vote for them.
They're going to unseat the guy that you want up there.
Well, the Senate elections aren't really local elections, right?
They're statewide elections.
But I mean they're representing your state.
Well, for the House, certainly they're more local.
But I think that you're correct in the sense that national politics, especially since Trump, and it's been getting worse and worse my whole life, but Trump's like the apex so far.
You know, national politics sucks all the air out of the room.
That's like really what people care about.
Yeah, like the big game.
You know, yeah, that's it.
Finding a Presidential Candidate00:15:18
And look, I mean, I'm guilty of that to some degree too.
I know there's a lot of libertarians who make the argument to like focus on local elections where you can make more of a difference.
And then people will be like, you know, someone will like message me and they're like, hi, Dave, I'm running for the 32nd district in Brooklyn on the libertarian ticket.
Do you want to have me on?
And I'm like, nah, I want to talk about Trump.
You know, so I'm as guilty as anyone.
But anyway, to the one thing that this has been blowing up, it's trending on Twitter was Chris Matthews, who is a, you know, he's like the MSNBC old guard.
at this point.
You know, he's not the Rachel Maddow Chris Hayes kind of, you know, uber progressive new guard.
He's the, you know, the kind of old, supposed to be there for some credibility, but has always been not so much a left-winger or a progressive.
I would describe Chris Matthews as simply a bootlicker, a guy who just sucks up to authority unlike anybody else.
But he's so he was a, you know, he'll tell you he was against the war in Iraq.
But if you actually go back and look at any of the tapes, he was always praising George W. Bush and what a great leader he was and how, you know, it's, um, and he, uh, there's actually this really fucking amazing clip.
Oh, maybe you could even see if you can find this, Brian.
You may not be able to find this.
I don't even know if it's up anymore.
But if you, if you Google Phil Donahue, Chris Matthews, see what comes up on that because there's this really great clip where Phil Donahue called out Chris Matthews.
This is like years ago.
This is back in the 90s.
But see, Phil Donahue, Chris Matthews.
No, it's actually...
Hold on, go to YouTube and pull it up.
Let me see if the video's there.
Sorry, I just want to see if we can find this.
If not, I'll just describe to you guys what happened.
But if we can find this, this was like in a fucking amazing clip.
It was back from the very beginning of MSNBC.
And Phil Donahue was like, you know, he's a goofy guy and has a lot of weird left-wing leanings, but he was really, really anti-war.
And I believe he got booted off MSNBC for that.
Phil Donahue, Chris Matthews, and then put in MSNBC.
See if that fucking brings anything up.
You know, I don't fucking know if this is even on YouTube anymore.
Go down a little bit.
Keep going.
Let me see if I can fucking.
Wait, hold on.
Stop for a second.
Go up a little.
Phil Donahue.
Nah, keep going down.
Keep going down.
Fuck.
Hold on.
That one right there.
Up.
Phil Donahue.
Nah, fuck.
All right.
Can't find it.
So anyway, there's this old clip on MSNBC, and Phil Donahue just calls out Chris Matthews for being a bootlicker.
And it was a man.
But he did it in a nice way.
But he's like, you know what your problem is, Chris?
He's like, you're friends with all these guys, and you look up to them.
And Chris is like, what are you talking about?
He's like, you go to all the parties.
You hang out with all these politicians.
And I know you.
You admire all of them.
And he's like, well, yeah, I mean, some of them are really courageous, great people.
And he's like, yeah, see, you shouldn't, like, if you're a journalist, you shouldn't hang out with these guys.
Like, you're supposed to be separated from them.
Anyway, it's a great clip.
If any of you guys can find it there, fucking tweet it at me or post it at me on Facebook.
So here's Chris Matthews, big Obama supporter, you know, and just a Democrat, no question.
Like, Trump has to be beat.
And this was him this morning on Morning Joe.
I thought it was an interesting clip.
It's trending on Twitter.
So let's play it.
I'm not happy.
I'm not happy with this field.
I think they got to find a candidate for president.
There we go.
I think the camera works slow.
That's right.
And you don't think anybody in this.
I'm looking.
I'm still looking.
Still looking.
What's the problem?
Obvious problems.
They're all problems.
Bernie Sanders is not going to be president of the United States.
Okay?
I went back to the 72 race.
I was a young volunteer for the DNC.
I was working for a senator from Utah at the time.
I've got to tell you, it feels a lot like it.
A lot of giddiness, a lot of excitement.
I'm thrilled about this guy.
You're saying a lot like McGovern?
Well, exactly, because he was very exciting.
He excited the party.
He completely blew away a really good candidate like Muskie, a really good guy.
He blew him right out of the water because he had some issues.
Now, analytically, I think a couple of things have happened.
One is Warren was riding high.
I thought she was going to sweep through everything.
I should first too easily just keep going.
She was the one candidate I thought could do that.
What happened?
She got a lot of scrutiny.
You don't want a lot of scrutiny, and she got a lot of it.
Does this stuff add up?
The Medicare for all, the free college, all that stuff got killed.
And guess who's going to get it now?
Bernie's going to get it now.
Bernie's going to ride high, and he's finally going to get scrutiny about his whole life, his ideology, his whole life, who'd he rooted for all his life.
Who is this guy ideologically?
It's not just the nice, good stuff like health care.
Why does he say this stuff he does about Mador and people like that?
Why does he say Denmark one week and then somebody else?
I mean, people got to figure out who the guy is.
I think I know because I've dealt with these guys most of my adult life.
They're usually the guys at the card tables at an NAW rally.
They'll be there, some old guy with some old literature from this socialist party or that trying to sell it, trying to latch on to the anti-war movement.
There's always guys like that.
And they're usually, you know, as Howard Fine once said, non-negotiable demands, you know, yelling up at the administration building during the anti-war movement.
I know him, but I think the country's going to get to know him.
I think we got a problem.
We'll see.
But, you know, nobody's going to say it tonight.
They're all going to be cheering.
Good old Bernie.
You know, I think he's going to win big tonight.
So I just, I thought that was an interesting comment that this is kind of like the center MSNBC guy.
So that's still pretty far Democrat.
But he's even sitting there and he's going, holy shit, none of these guys can beat Donald Trump.
And Bernie Sanders is going to win tonight.
And I think to some degree he's right about the idea that Bernie Sanders hasn't really faced the scrutiny that he's going to in a general election.
And it's a pretty obvious reason why.
And this is because Bernie Sanders brings energy and young people to the Democratic Party in a way that nobody else has.
This is true in 2016 and it's true in 2020.
And so if you're anybody else in the Democratic primary, well, what do you want?
You want Bernie Sanders to enthusiastically endorse you and give you all as much of that energy and those young people as possible.
So you can't be too harsh with him.
You got to kind of take this kit gloves approach.
And that's going to change if he actually fucking wins this thing.
And he's starting to realize that that's going to be tough.
And it seems like even your center news people who are in the leftist propaganda game are going to attack a socialist for being a socialist.
So a lot of like that mainstream Democratic Party is just going to go, man, do I hate Trump, but I do not want a full-fledged socialist.
Well, and the other factor, and I'm sure in a lot of ways, a lot of Democratic socialists would take this just as a feather in the cap of Bernie Sanders.
But the truth is that the Democratic Party and Joe Biden and really like Hillary Clinton and people like that get the overwhelming amount of corporate support, billionaire support, multi-millionaire support.
Those guys support the Democrats.
I mean, this is something that changed, by the way, in my lifetime.
that the Democrats became the party of the super rich.
This was not always true.
The Republicans were the fucking, like, they absolutely were the country club party for a long time.
But now in this age of like woke capitalism, all these big companies, I mean, really huge companies, look in the 2016 election.
Who was the candidate that Goldman Sachs was supporting?
Hillary Clinton.
Who was the candidate that Google was supporting?
Hillary Clinton.
Who does Amazon like?
Hillary Clinton?
I mean, you can go down the list of these huge, multi, you know, billion dollar, multinational fucking companies that support the Democrats.
Now, that's all fine and good when they're just spouting some woke ideology or, you know, bashing white men or promising more diversity or like any of these fucking meaningless platitudes that they just throw out there.
But if you're talking about a real ideological socialist who they're afraid is going to actually try to confiscate their wealth, I might go, holy shit, I'll take this fucking, you know, maniac billionaire who's talking about corporate tax cuts before I'll fucking take this guy.
Because that's a little bit scary that he actually might inspire some pitchforks to come out against you.
Now, I know I'm sure people on the left, that's just that much more of a reason why you have to support Bernie Sanders.
But even you guys could probably see where practically speaking, this might be a little bit of a problem.
And I think Chris Matthews, you know, likes the establishment Democrats much more than them.
Now, by the way, I don't.
I don't.
I kind of say, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't kind of rooting for Bernie Sanders to win this thing tonight.
And just because of nothing else, I fucking hate the Democratic establishment.
You know, I fucking, I have a lot of problems with Bernie Sanders.
I will believe me, if he wins the nomination, you will hear me criticizing Bernie Sanders quite a bit over the next six months.
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All right, where were we?
Look, the fucking Democratic establishment, I'm still, I'm still me.
And they got fucking a million dead Iraqis' blood on their hands.
So I'm fucking, they are my enemy.
And anybody who fucking scares the shit out of them wins a little bit of sympathy in my heart.
So, and I kind of root for, look, I just think America would be way better off if we had four or five political parties rather than two.
And that could be what ends up coming out of a Bernie Sanders nomination.
And maybe that would be much better in some ways.
But it's interesting to see Chris Matthews finally starting to realize this now.
But again, like, this is just how blind these guys are and how much they're supposed to be the experts that even Chris Matthews is sitting there telling you, he's going, I thought Elizabeth Warren was riding high and she was just going to sweep this whole thing.
Whereas like me and you could look at this and go, of course she's not going to.
Of course not.
Like you're so and I get it in a way where it's like we you have an advantage when when you're living in the second floor rather than the penthouse, it's easier to know what's going on on the street.
And that's kind of the advantage that we have.
That it's just easier.
You know, we just have to walk down one flight of stairs and go, so what's going on?
Okay, what's the feeling here?
It's like, no, Elizabeth Warren was never going to.
And what Chris Matthews is absolutely wrong about is that the problem is that Elizabeth Warren suffered so much scrutiny that that's why her plan fell apart because people really started being like, this plan doesn't add up.
That's not even it.
It's really not even it.
It's just that Elizabeth Warren started promising the fucking universe.
And people who were like that, it was like, well, then we might as well just go with Bernie Sanders.
And Elizabeth Warren is an uncharismatic, cold, awkward, nasty fucking woman.
And people fucking didn't want to latch on to her.
I really think it's as simple as that.
And she sold her whole thing off.
I'm the one with the plan.
And then she released this big healthcare plan that was insane.
And then she took it back a week later.
And really after that, her campaign never recovered.
It was just like, you know, that's...
But no one really took the gloves off with Elizabeth Warren.
The truth is no one has taken the gloves off with any of them.
Even Donald Trump, which I think is kind of brilliant on his part, you know, say whatever you will about Donald Trump, kind of fucking got a brilliant fucking instinct for this politics thing.
And everybody should be willing to admit that.
Anybody who fucking dipped their toes in politics and on the first try became president of the United States, you probably have to admit that guy's, he's got something.
Like he's kind of good at this.
And what Donald Trump has done is he's sitting back.
He's throwing out a nickname here or there.
You know, what was it?
Like he threw out a thing about Mike Bloomberg.
It's like mini Mike or something about him being short.
You know, a little thing like that, short.
That's little by little, just throwing out these insults.
But he hasn't really taken the gloves off because he's saving that shit.
He's saving that shit.
But you're going to have to deal with this all day long.
And if Elizabeth Warren had ever actually, you know, gotten the nomination, which is not going to happen, but he would have hit her with this Native American thing every single fucking day throughout the general election.
And this would bury her.
Because I'm sorry to any normal person.
Bad Political Predictions00:14:10
That's really, really weird.
It's really, really weird to be a fake Indian.
Does that really need much more explanation than that?
It's weird.
It's very, very weird for a fucking white woman to be listed as Harvard's first female professor of color to write a recipe in a fucking Native American cookbook, which she plagiarized.
She also lied about being pregnant and getting fired, lied about her kids going to public school, lied about fucking her father's job, you know, like all this shit.
This is all, and this is going to come up all the time, all the time.
And so now you've got either Bernie Sanders or Joe Biden, who's going to be the nominee, or I suppose you could say there's an outside shot that Mike Bloomberg's going to be at.
But I, you know, I have a tough time buying that.
Did you see the Mike Bloomberg Super Bowl ads?
No, I saw the one with the ice cream.
I like ice cream.
Big gay ice cream.
It was going to be better.
He had.
It was like there was nothing.
It was really interesting to see because so Mike Bloomberg has taken this path in what is the, listen, I understand people can say, well, Donald Trump was a billionaire, you know, when he came in, but Donald Trump was a billionaire who played a very specific game.
He was kind of cheap, too.
He didn't spend a lot of his own money on his campaign.
No, I mean, he spent almost none of his own money on it, you know?
And also he played a populist hand.
He played, you know, he went out there and was like, look, this whole establishment isn't working for you.
And I'm going to work for you.
I'm going to bring your jobs back.
I'm going to close the borders.
We're not going to fight these stupid wars.
I'm going to make trade deals that work for you.
And even when they would throw, well, you're a New York billionaire.
He's like, yeah, that's how.
And I know exactly how rigged the system is against you.
And he'd throw on this cap and look like, like, he looked the part.
He just felt like a guy.
Even though he's a billionaire, Donald Trump is like a billionaire in the style that your average Rust Belt guy, if he just won a billion dollars tomorrow, would live.
You know what I mean?
Like if your average fucking Rust Belt voter just got $5 billion, he'd be like, well, I'm going to get me a fucking model wife with fake tits.
I want everything gold.
You know what I mean?
Like it was just that type of like that billionaire, like almost a billionaire who didn't know what to do with, like, like, didn't, when I say know what to do, I did it.
It wasn't like old money.
He didn't have this old money feeling.
Bloomberg feels more like what Bloomberg is, where he's like turning away sushi from a chef who brings it out on a fucking silver platter.
And he's like, no, this isn't the sushi I ordered.
Like, that's just the feeling.
And I think most people kind of just know what I'm, what I'm getting at.
Michael Bloomberg is like, I'm not going to go to any of these fucking debates.
I'm not going to face the American people or defend my platform or really lay out a platform.
So I'm just going to buy a whole bunch of Super Bowl commercials.
And the fucking slogan was something like, Mike can get it done.
Just vague nothing.
That's what that sounds like.
Yeah, it was so like, and the truth is that he really, I mean, like, you're also not running for the Republican nomination.
You're running for the Democratic nomination.
And the Democratic nomination is split up into several camps.
But between the socialist camp, the Uber progressive camp, the woke intersectional camp, that's about 70% of them, at least.
And to then just say there's going to be this fucking white to them.
I know right-wing people.
He's Jewish.
But to them, Democrats, this fucking- They should love that guy.
Well, but not openly, gay.
I can get it done.
But not gay in the way they like.
Not in the mayor-butt stuff way.
In the fucking closeted.
I go to some fucking dungeon parties with other billionaire.
They for sure get spanked.
That's his thing.
Well, yes.
Listen, you're undeniably right.
I'm just stating facts, but I'm saying they don't know this.
And to just be like, I'm a billionaire who's going to buy this thing.
It's just, that's not going to float.
The only thing he can do is play spoiler to Joe Biden.
So it's him.
So it's really either going to be, Is it Joe Biden, who Donald Trump is just going to hammer about his corruption every day, all day?
Or Bernie Sanders, who he's going to get to really, as Chris Matthews said, we're going to take the gloves off.
And I think the truth is that I think so many of Bernie Sanders' supporters even don't understand, don't know about the underbelly of the socialism thing.
Like, I know, you know, it's so many of them are still caught in the, and I see it all the time.
I mean, I talk to him.
I see him on Twitter.
I see all of these things.
It's just like, well, yeah, obviously, don't you like want health care?
What are you, a bad guy?
And I know that because I was a former lefty.
I know that mindset.
Of course.
What, text billionaires and give it to poor people?
Are you Thor billionaires more than poor people?
So you're really...
And then they think that of you.
Like they project that onto you.
Like there couldn't be anything deeper here.
So obviously your ideology is that some rich guy should have a 15th car before this guy can heat his home?
Like what type of monster are you?
So of course they think, you know, but it's like, no, you don't fucking get it.
Like you don't really know how fucking, you know, you lift up the carpet and there's some fucking cockroaches underneath that bitch.
Like it is really, really ugly, the type of authoritarianism you have to embrace to actually achieve this egalitarian world that you want to live in.
So that's we're looking at one of those things.
And I think Trump is starting to realize that.
The other thing, the other clip that I wanted to play was just something that, again, in the other scenario, if Joe Biden does get this done, and don't get it twisted in this Iowa caucus right now, I mean, you guys listening already know who won this thing, but if anybody except Bernie Sanders wins, Joe Biden wins.
That's the situation we're in right now.
Like a vote for Mayor Pete is a vote for Joe Biden.
A vote for Elizabeth Warren or Klobuchar is a vote for Joe Biden.
All Biden needs is for Bernie to not win.
He needs to break up this momentum of Bernie.
And then he needs to get to Super Tuesday without fucking Bernie having a lot of momentum.
But here was another little clip that I thought just showed.
Look, one of the things that Donald Trump that helped him win in 2016.
And again, I think just about everybody who paid attention in the 2016 election would realize this, is that Donald Trump politicians are naturally, at least American modern politicians, are naturally kind of stiff.
And Donald Trump is loose.
He's just loose.
Like, you know, in martial arts, like or in fighting in general, you're supposed to be fucking loose.
Like, you don't want to be stiff.
If you're stiff and you get hit, you're more likely to get knocked out.
You're more likely to get hurt.
If you're loose, you're like better off.
Donald Trump was always loose.
So the hits come in and he just fucking absorbs them, throws them right back at you.
A lot of other politicians, they're not used to getting fucking tough questions, tough things thrown at them.
So here was Joe Biden with what should be an ally in Samantha Guffrey.
And this was a little interview from yesterday.
Let's play the clip.
Who's going to be able to go in and help Democrats win back the Senate?
Has it occurred to you that there's a certain irony here that here the president is accused of and has acknowledged wanting to get information about your son Hunter and his dealings with Ukraine?
And this process of impeachment has ensured that everyone knows about Hunter's dealings with Ukraine.
That's a good thing.
And no one's found anything wrong with his dealings with Ukraine except they say it sets a bad image.
Well, do you agree that it sets a bad image?
And my son said that.
Do you think it was wrong for him to take that position knowing that it was really because that company wanted access to you?
Well, that's not true.
You're saying things you do not know what you're talking about.
No one said that.
Who said that?
Don't you think that it's just one of those things where people think, well, that seems kind of sleazy.
Why would he have that job if not for who his father was?
Because he's a very bright guy.
I guess the question I'm kind of asking is: was it right?
His appearance.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, he said he regretted having done it.
Speak for himself.
He's a grown man.
You're going to predict a win tomorrow night.
I don't predict wins because I'm superstitious, but I predict we'll do very well.
All right.
So this is Joe Biden's go-to defense, which is really just, I mean, pathetic.
I couldn't think of anything more pathetic.
And this is about the third or fourth time that I've heard him say that.
I think it's maybe the third time we've played him saying that on the show.
And his defense is, nobody is saying that.
So she says, Samantha Guffrey says, well, they were just hiring him to get access to you.
And he goes, nobody's saying that.
Well, she just said it.
And I'm saying it.
So there's one more.
So we got two.
So your defense of nobody's saying that is already demonstrably false.
So lots of, and by the way, if you check Twitter, a few more people than just the two of us are saying it.
Like, everybody's saying this, Joe Biden.
This is the criticism of you.
It's like, it's as ridiculous as if Trump, you know, they said, you know, people are saying you're a bad president.
He goes, nobody's saying that.
It's like, lots of millions of people are saying this.
Okay.
But that's what he's going with.
Nobody's saying that.
You don't know what you're talking about.
But yes, the appearance was bad.
Well, was the appearance bad?
Well, that's what Joe, that's what my son said.
He's a man.
He can speak for himself.
It's like, are you a man?
Can you speak for yourself?
What do you say?
And of course, Samantha does point out the obvious truth, which is that now that Donald Trump's not going to be impeached and the impeachment fell apart as it obviously was going to, what really happened?
What did the Democrats accomplish here?
And this is why you really wonder what was really going on with this impeachment and what the different layers of it are.
Because what you accomplished was you took your frontrunner and you made it a national story.
Like this could have just gone away.
This could have been, look, Donald Trump called the Ukrainian president and said, I want to investigate the Bidens.
For whatever reason, none of this ever really happened and came out.
What made it a national story was the Democrats trying to go after him for this.
And now, like it or not, it's a national story that Hunter Biden was working for Burisma and getting fucking hundreds of thousands of dollars a year in an obvious, obvious attempt to buy favor or to buy influence from Joe Biden, the then vice president.
So now this is something that just about everyone knows about.
At least everybody who's voting probably has at least heard about this.
So you're going to have to answer questions.
And to be calling a fucking, you know, a corporate press fucking average, you know, somebody who's just going to be a fucking Democrat supporter or at least do the bidding of the Democrats for the whole election, to be sitting there going, you don't know what you're talking about, just because all she's doing is setting you up.
She wasn't even like grilling him like, oh, here, this is it.
She's like, here, what's your response?
This is the obvious question everyone's going to ask you.
So here, let me serve you and you can spike it.
And he's got nothing prepared because there is nothing.
There's nothing to say.
So this is when you start seeing why Chris Matthews is saying, I don't feel good.
This is what Chris Matthews is starting to realize.
It's what we've been saying for months now.
This is going to be very, very bad for the Democrats.
I think, and I know I've said this before, but I think at this point right now, it seems like the only hope is recession.
It's the only out the Democrats have.
How do we get jobs from these people where we can save them the whole hassle?
I'm not even saying I agree with any of their opinions, but come to us, lay out the field, and we'll tell you who's alive.
Because they mentioned Joe Biden on day one.
I said, nah, he's too much of an idiot.
And I was smart.
Think about how much hassle I could have saved these people.
Yeah.
But that's the crazy state of the whole fucking, you know, political machinery is that they've lost touch this much that the king of the caulks, Robbie the Fire Bernstein, should be on their fucking payroll.
Yeah, pay me some money.
I'll help you out.
I'll owe you $300, $400,000 a year.
It's all you're looking for.
And you will save these guys millions of wasted time.
I still hope you lose, but you know, I can at least guide you in the right direction.
You might fucking sabotage them a little bit.
All right, listen, we're going to wrap up there.
This is, I'm really looking forward to the next episode.
I can't wait to come back and give some Iowa recap.
So it should be a fun night, and we will see you guys soon.
Don't forget, come see us in Philly on the 21st.
Tickets are moving, Philadelphia.
So if you want to come out, go buy tickets now.
Live podcast and a live stand-up comedy show, two separate shows.
Run your mouth in a steamboat for Valentine's Day, and I'm in New Haven at the end of the month.
So I don't have a website, but you can find my date somewhere.