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May 15, 2024 - Dr. Oz Podcast
42:27
The Truth Behind Fitness Trackers: How Accurate Are They? | Dr. Oz | S7 | Ep 42 | Full Episode
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Time Text
It's the latest gadget people are obsessed with.
I'm almost married to it.
It never comes off my wrist.
I'm talking about fitness trackers.
It turns fitness from a chore into a game.
Do they really work?
And which ones are worth your money?
We put popular brands to the test.
Plus...
Sorry.
Sorry.
Why you need to stop apologizing.
And three new words to use instead of sorry.
Coming up next.
We'll save lives today.
We'll save lives today.
We are ready to get healthy!
You know who you are!
You track every step you take, and you make sure everyone knows that you've hit 10,000 steps.
This isn't a stair climb that you haven't kept track of, and when you encounter a relative with a little muffin top going on, you know exactly what you're getting them for the holidays.
It is a fitness tracker.
My friends, they've become a cultural phenomenon that many of you are obsessed with.
Well, there are three things that I'm obsessed with on today's show.
We're gonna start with those fitness trackers.
Do they really work?
And which ones are worth your money?
We've done the research and we've tested all the trackers on the market to bring you the truth.
Then, could you eat well for $4 a day for a cup of coffee?
We'll put it to the test and we'll tell you how you can actually do that.
And finally, the five letter word that's hurting your health.
Now many of us are guilty of saying it too often and we're gonna tell you why you should stop saying it and the three words you should use instead.
So let's get started with those fitness trackers.
I want you right now, look around the room.
Everyone look around the room.
You're gonna spot someone wearing a wristband counting their steps.
Maybe it's attached to their dress.
Their calories will be kept track of, even their hours of sleep.
And Americans have spent over a billion dollars ever since they hit the market.
But, and it's a big but, do they really work?
To get to the bottom of it, we asked journalist and human guinea pig, AJ Jacobs, to assist.
And he hit the ground running.
Literally running.
Chasing people down, wearing fitness trackers to uncover the truth behind why we are so obsessed with these little bitty gadgets.
And are they really worth it?
Hey Dr. Oz, AJ Jacobs here.
We all know how popular fitness trackers are.
I don't leave home without mine.
But the real question is, why?
I'm tracking people down today to figure it out.
Let's go!
Excuse me, can I ask you about your fitness tracker?
Sure!
But we gotta keep running because I got some stuff to get in.
Okay, fair enough.
How'd you decide to get one?
Well, I saw a lot of people had them.
I was curious about it.
I'm not the healthiest person, but I like to look the part.
I see.
Mine was a gift from my mom.
I don't know whether to be offended or not.
Do you like them?
Do you love them?
I love it!
It really helps me with my nutrition.
I sync it with my phone.
I'm obsessed with it.
It doesn't leave my arm unless it has to be charged.
I'm a super fan.
I tell my friends, my family, my coworkers, all about the success I've had with my fitness fans.
I check it in the morning to see how well I slept.
I check it midday to see my progress.
I check it at dinner to see what do I want to squirt on for the day.
So Taffy here looks really healthy.
Do you feel you walk more because of the fitness trainer?
Yeah, probably a little bit more because I know it's good for her and it's good for me.
Check out the calves on Taffy here.
These things are keeping our pets healthy too.
Is it working for you guys?
Absolutely.
I mean, we both, we lost 70 pounds each.
Look at that.
Love it!
Do you feel like it's accurate?
No, actually, I don't know, but I'm not trying to win a triathlon, so I think it's good enough for my purposes.
Clearly, people are even more obsessed with these things than I thought.
Speaking of which, I gotta get my 10,000 steps, so I'll see you later, guys.
AJ Jacobs is here in person.
You stopped running, I see.
Why are you so obsessed with these trackers?
Well, I love that this little gadget can have such a huge impact on my behavior.
And for me, it turns fitness from a chore into a game.
I really want those 10,000 steps.
And actually, my wife got into it.
We have a competition.
Who can get the most steps per day?
I like to point out, she is winning, but I like to point out, she has shorter legs, so she gets more steps per mile, and she likes to point out, I should shut the heck up.
I think you often say she has a leg up on you, right?
That's right, she has a leg up on me.
Lots of puns today with these trackers.
I think folks know generally what they are, but I'd love you just to bring us up to date.
Why are these trackers so much more powerful now?
What can they really do for us?
Well, it is amazing.
They track everything now.
They've got calories burned, steps taken, stairs climbed, heart rate, and sleep, and everything but the hairs on your head, which I'm sure they're working on.
I'm sure they are.
It's stuff that I never thought possible.
Now we can actually measure.
The question is, does it make a difference?
So I want to meet some of our fitness tracking fanatics.
So put your hands up if you're a tracker.
There's a couple people over here.
There we are.
So, what do you like about these trackers?
The fact that it tracks, you know, how long you sleep at night, your restless nights, whether you're sleeping well enough.
And it's durable.
That's the best part of it.
And you find it to be pretty accurate?
Yes.
All right, so I asked two members of the audience to tell us a little bit about their stories.
We're going to start with Stephanie, because Stephanie, I understand, has lost 20 pounds.
Congratulations.
Thank you.
So, take us back to the very beginning.
Why'd you start wearing that tracker?
Well, about three months ago, I noticed a friend of mine had one, and my friend had lost a significant amount of weight, so I said, maybe I can give this a try.
I love it.
I'm obsessed with it.
So, how do you use it day to day?
Give me an idea of how it affects you.
Well, I feel as if I'm almost married to it, because it never comes off my wrist.
Are you really married?
No, no.
If you're really married, you'll know the difference, but go ahead.
Yeah, I'm married to the tracker.
And I've always struggled with weight loss, and this has made it so easy for me to, you know, like I said, to be accountable to make the right decisions.
It's like having a personal trainer on my wrist, and it's also my accountability buddy, too.
So here's the thing.
Folks who are wearing trackers obviously have had a good result with them.
That's why they're wearing them.
But many others feel that it hasn't lived up to its potential.
And they think that there's a bit of frustration in their lives introduced by this.
And Renee is one of those people.
How are you, Renee?
Great, Dr. Oz.
How are you?
You still have a tracker on, I notice.
I do.
Despite your unhappiness.
Yes.
I love the accountability.
I love my Fitbit tracker, but I did put on seven pounds.
You put on seven pounds?
Yes.
You send the bill to those guys.
Yes.
That doesn't sound fair at all.
That's why I only bought the little ones.
So what happened?
How's that possible?
So, you know, you see the calories, how much you're burning, how much calories you can take in, and it messed with my mind a little bit, and I brought carbs back into my diet, because I love carbs, so I thought it was a great justification.
And I think that's why I put it on.
It was kind of like messing with my mind.
Like, I thought I could eat more, and I was eating more, and I was really hungry, and I was trying to satisfy that, and carbohydrates do that.
So when you commiserate with your friends, have others had similar experiences?
Yes.
I actually do a walking group, and we're all together, and we're all tracking, but nobody seems to be losing any weight.
So let me put a little number on this you might want to hang your hat on to, because you're not alone.
I polled the rest of the audience, all the folks around you, and it turns out about 40% of you say you don't notice any difference with these trackers.
40%.
That means other people have had, you know, 50% of you love it.
So that's, you know, it's a trade-off, though.
And the question I'm trying to find out is why are there so many folks obsessed with these gadgets while others, like Renee, are disappointed?
The question for me is this issue of placebo.
You know what a placebo is?
Yes.
We're giving you something that makes you think you're going to lose weight, but actually it doesn't really do that, but it makes you think that, so you think that's the process.
So we actually sent AJ to a lab to test four popular trackers, ranging in prices from $60 all the way up to $560.
We wanted to set the record straight and find out how accurate they really are.
Hey, Dr. Oz.
I'm here at the Hospital for Special Surgery, and I'm going to be wearing four of the leading fitness bands at the same time.
And we're going to run them through three separate tests to see which fares best.
Get ready to witness the fitness!
First test, calorie burning.
The exercise physiologists hooked me up to a metabolic cart and gave me an oxygen mask to measure my exhalations, which gives them an extremely accurate measurement of the amount of calories I burned while running.
So these bands make me run faster, right?
No, I don't think that's how they work.
Alright, I won't run too fast.
I don't want to smoke them out.
After running for 10 minutes, we got an accurate read of how many calories I burned.
Next up, the step counter.
As I walked on the treadmill, every step I took was recorded.
And for this test, I also used a $20 pedometer to see how it fared compared to our more expensive fitness bands.
Shh!
And finally, to test how well the bands track the amount of flights of stairs you climb each day, we made use of the hospital's state-of-the-art technology, aka the fire escape.
And I'm going to be counting these the old-fashioned way.
1, 2, 3, 4, 163, 164, 165, 223, 224, 225, 298, 29, 300. Let's see how these fitness bands did.
We're going to have some interesting results, Dr. Oz.
I'll see you back at the studio when I catch my breath.
Catch your breath yet?
Just about.
The question is, how well do they really work?
When we come back, we're revealing our fitness tracker test results.
you won't want to miss this.
Next, with so many health tracking devices on the market, how do you choose the best one?
We put them to the test.
Find out if these popular brands are as accurate as they claim, and if the more expensive ones perform better.
Next!
Genetically modified salmon.
The government says it's safe to eat, so why have some stores refused to sell it?
Plus, music superstar Leanne Rimes.
The secret that took a physical and emotional toll.
How'd you get past that?
All new eyes.
That's coming up on Monday.
Let's see how these fitness bands did.
We're gonna have some interesting results, Dr. Oz.
I'll see you back at the studio.
Today we are uncovering the fitness tracking phenomenon, why we are so obsessed with them, and do they really work?
Our friend AJ Jacobs tested four popular brands at a lab, and they ranged in price from $60 all the way to $560.
He wanted to find out just how accurate they really are.
You think you have the answers?
I have the answers.
Confident in them.
I am 100% confident.
Let's go back to the big monitor.
First, we're going to start off with calories burned.
Now, again, all the bands are up here.
We looked at all these topics.
We'll start with calories burned.
What did you find?
Were they accurate?
Well, this was amazing.
Only one in four of the trackers we tested was accurate in terms of calories burned.
One in four.
And according to the metabolic machine at the lab, I burned 93.6 calories.
And only one of these was even in the ballpark.
The others, one of them was off by almost 50 calories, which is like an entire cookie.
Yeah.
Entire cricket.
More even.
All right.
Steps taken.
I've got to say, calories burned.
I can see why it might be hard.
Right.
But what about steps taken?
It seems pretty logical, pretty easy.
Well, this was surprising.
I mean, it did a little better.
They got two out of four were in the ballpark.
No one got it exactly, but two out of four were in the ballpark.
But the other two were off by as much as 10 steps per 100 steps.
And one of them was higher, one of them was lower.
So they can be very stingy or they can be overly generous.
It's disappointing, actually.
Yeah, it was too bad.
All right.
And how about the stairs climb?
Again, another one that I would think would be sort of right in the sweet spot for these devices.
Yeah.
Well, this one, only three of the trackers we tested measured stairs climbed.
And again, one out of three was accurate.
And that was against my state-of-the-art technology of counting with my fingers.
One, two, three, four, six, seven, eight.
All right.
So it wasn't the same device that was accurate in all of them, I guess.
No, it varied, exactly.
Yeah, so sometimes one is good, sometimes another.
So what do we do with these results?
I'm actually very surprised.
I thought they would be a little bit more on target with their advice to us.
Well, that's the thing.
They vary in how good they are.
And what was really surprising?
You said they vary in price from $50 all the way up to $560.
The most expensive one was actually the least accurate.
You're kidding me.
No, it was amazing.
And then the $20 pedometer that I wore was as accurate at counting steps as some of the ones that cost $100.
So since you are self-proclaimed obsessive about these devices, has it changed your opinion at all?
Well, what it did is, if I lose my fitness tracker, which I will, I always lose them, I'm probably not going to replace it.
I'm probably going to get the cheaper pedometer.
But in the meantime, even though they're not totally accurate, they are still a great motivator.
They still keep me trying to be healthy, trying to not be humiliated by my wife.
So, they have their positives.
Thank you very, very much.
Thank you, Dr. Ryan.
All right, here's the deal.
I appreciate, I'll give you my bottom line, because I was surprised by this, but I appreciate any tool that's going to get you moving.
So, if a fitness tracker does that for you, then it works.
But, we do know that weight loss is more of an art than a sign.
So, I reached out to my core group of trainers, And they agree that in order to use these trackers successfully, you have to look beyond the data and make yourself accountable.
So I'm going to tell you how to do this.
First off, and this is important, you've got to set your own goals.
If it's 10,000 steps, that's fine.
But let that be a number to aim for.
And then once it gets a little easy, you can amp it up.
Frankly, we just found out that maybe it's not really 10,000 steps you're walking.
It doesn't frankly matter.
You're going to be increasing that 10,000 to 11,000.
So whatever number it really is will go up to.
And if it's too hard, then you reduce it a little bit and work your way up.
Next step.
Important, you're gonna wear your band on your non-dominant wrist.
So if you're right-handed, put it on your left wrist.
This is important because you need a more accurate reading.
Remember, every time you move your hand, it's gonna think you're stepping.
You put it on your non-dominant wrist, it'll only move when you're walking.
And finally, you gotta be consistent.
Make it a habit to keep it on your wrists.
It's not about any number that day that's particularly important.
It's about the consistency of your numbers over time and challenging yourself to keep striving for more.
The numbers will be accurate for you personally on that day, so at least internally you'll be able to track.
So we got great advice today.
I appreciate all the homework that was done by AJ and the lab.
Up next, how you can eat healthy for a full day, a full day for just $4 for the cup of coffee price.
We'll be right back.
Next, think eating healthier means it has to be tougher on your wallet?
We're all on a budget.
We'll change your mind today.
We found creative ideas to eat well without spending a lot of money.
Healthy and delicious meals on $4 a day.
Coming up next.
When it comes to eating healthy, the number one, I mean, number one complaint I hear is it's too expensive.
Well, my friends, that stops today.
We found a solution.
You can actually eat well all day long for just $4.
Now, to be clear, $4 is less than what it costs to get your morning latte or your frozen yogurt or your Oshishi green juice.
They're all great to have, but they're all more than that $4.
And here to tell us exactly how it's done is author of Good and Cheap, Leanne Brown.
So how is that possible?
How do you do it for $4 a day?
You have to embrace cooking.
You know, really get in there and never throw anything out.
You know when you have that sort of wilting spinach?
Don't chuck it out.
Find something to do with it.
Just a little creativity can go a long way and it's so satisfying when, you know, you can find something and not have to leave the house to go get everything for it.
What a ferocious saver.
What is it that turned you on to this?
Why did you get excited about making foods for so little money?
Well, it was my thesis project for my masters at NYU, and I was thinking about...
You wrote a thesis on this?
Yes, that's right.
That's where it all comes from, all that research.
Okay, take it away.
Let's do it.
We have a thesis student here teaching us this.
That's right.
Well, I figured, you know, I was thinking about people who are on food stamps, but we're all on a budget, right?
Yeah.
So we can start the day with almond butter and jelly granola bars.
So all you're doing with this is taking some oats, you know, something we all have, some jelly and some almond butter, and you're just mixing it together, throw it in the oven for 20 minutes, bake it, and let it cool, cut it up, Want to know how much it costs?
30 cents a bar.
30 cents?
Absolutely, yes.
I just spit up my bar.
And you can put anything else.
You know, grab something from the cupboard and throw that in if you feel like it.
All right.
So that's good breakfast.
What do you have for lunch?
So now we have lunch.
We're going to make a health nut cabbage salad.
So cabbage, obviously, is so inexpensive.
We're going to shred it, throw in.
Maybe you have some wilted carrots.
You have half an apple.
You're going to chuck all that in.
And then we're going to make a really simple dressing.
And would you like to make it?
No.
It's somebody.
What's your name?
I'm Jean.
If you sit in the front of the audience, you might get called on.
It's a very dangerous place, so we're going to see how you whisk.
Don't worry, you can do this.
I'll help.
You got some olive oil and some rice wine vinegar.
You get to work though, Jeannie.
Wonderful.
And then we're going to take our nuts that we have left over from our breakfast.
Oh, very frugal of you.
And some scallions.
So just give it a whisk.
Don't move it, don't move it.
Woo!
I was not sure that was going to work.
I'm impressed.
Now mix it up.
Thank you very much.
Gina's not impressed at all, but thank you for being impressed.
The kitchen is my favorite place.
And now...
All right.
And now we'll just toss it.
Use your hands.
Good enough.
Get in there.
Get in there.
Yeah.
Totally.
It's the best utensil, right?
Your hands.
I completely...
Hands cost nothing.
Exactly.
I completely agree.
All right.
So what did that cost?
I'm going to taste them.
$1.05.
$1.05?
Yep.
So...
Just to be clear...
We're halfway through the day.
It's still under $2.
We spent $1.35, yeah.
Yeah, so we're doing very, very well.
We're doing okay.
All right.
And do we want a snack?
Maybe afternoon snack?
Just taste some of this stuff.
I have to.
Actually, you know what?
Here, feed me.
Okay.
Small bite.
TB bite.
All right, pressure's on.
A TB bite.
Just use your hands.
It's shredded.
Come on.
That really does.
Pretty good.
You should have some.
All right.
Next.
Fantastic.
We all have times we get hungry in the middle of the afternoon.
What's your snack?
Right, absolutely.
So this is chickpeas and pumpkin seeds, which, I mean, they're so crunchy.
What's it cost?
50 cents a serving.
50 cents?
There's a restaurant downtown that's $7 a serving.
Wow.
Okay, well, you know what?
It's like a tiny bit crunchier, but for $7, I'd rather have this.
I'm sorry, how long do you bake them for?
I think it's about 25 minutes.
Go for 30. Give and take, 30. All right.
Now, we're still way under.
Now, let's get a cheap and easy dinner and keep us under the $4.
What do you suggest?
Exactly.
So this is kind of where you splurge.
This is barley risotto, and it's so flavorful, it's so chewy, it's so satisfying.
And we're using frozen peas in here, which are, again, really good value.
It's sort of, it's much less expensive.
The best thing here.
This is really good.
Dinner should always be the best thing here, right?
If you're a kind host, you should have brought some for the audience, Gene.
But just, now they can make it on their own, because at the price you're talking about, they can.
What does it cost?
This is $2.
Per person.
Let's add it up.
So this is your splurge for the day.
$2, right?
Let's add it up.
That's $3.85.
Right.
Less than the $4 that you promised for the whole day for healthy meals.
So when you guys talk to me about not having enough money to make the healthy foods, I know it can be difficult.
It takes little planning, a ferocious desire to change your budget, but you can do it.
Creativity and delight.
This is wonderful.
It's lemony, satisfying.
Good job on your thesis.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Up next, the drink menu to help you sift your way to younger looking skin.
Next, I'm revealing how to sip your way to healthier skin.
See why it starts from the inside out.
In reality, you actually are what you drink.
Ward off wrinkles and get back that glow.
The Better Skin Drink Menu.
You can follow from morning to night.
Next.
Genetically modified salmon.
The government says it's safe to eat, so why have some stores refused to sell it?
Plus, music superstar Leanne Rimes.
The secret that took a physical and emotional toll.
How'd you get past that?
All new eyes.
That's coming up on Monday.
Your face is the first place that shows your age and your skin loses its glow sometimes.
The wrinkles take over.
But today, I'm revealing how you can sip your way to healthier skin with the Better Skin Drink menu.
You're going to love this.
Joining me is dermatologist Dr. Dendy Engelman.
She's going to break it down for all of us.
We get this.
To be clear, the average person listening right now says, you know, I go for the creams, I go for the scrubs, all the zany things that are out there, but you actually argue that it's not the outside that's most critical.
That's right.
We always focus on taking care of our skin from the outside in.
But little known fact, we should actually be focusing from the inside out.
Skin is our largest organ in the body, so everything we do to the body can affect it.
So it's a little known fact.
We always say you are what you eat, but in reality, you actually are what you drink as well.
So you get some drinks for us.
Very exciting options.
So we put a few viewers on this program.
Come on over.
The Better Skin Drink Menu.
Notice, by the way, they're covering their faces for you.
We want to see how they're going to do with this program.
They've all been on it for a couple days, at least.
And they have their before pictures here.
Very interesting pictures, by the way.
Are we ready to see their results?
Drop a wall.
See what you got here.
Oh, my goodness.
That's a big difference!
Yes!
Are you happy with that?
I'm absolutely happy with it.
I experiment often with different ingredients for cleanse protocols, and right away, like, Totally.
The chin acne went away overnight.
Great.
And how about you?
How did it work for you?
I'm amazed, especially around my lips.
I get very dry at night, and no matter how much I moisturize in the morning, I'm still extremely dry.
And I did it for 24 hours, and I can't believe how it was so moist naturally.
As fast as you mentioned.
Let me see.
Good, good, good.
Let me see yours.
This looks like a prison picture.
It looks like orange is the new black.
Well, you'll be happy with our drink selections.
I like your color, by the way.
All right, let's get to the better drink skin menu.
You argue we have to start drinking early in the morning.
What's the critical starting point?
So we always want to start, obviously we have to hydrate our body and we have to have eight glasses of eight ounces per day, but then we need to start with a soy latte.
So we have a good excuse for a latte now.
You put the green drink.
I happen to love green drinks.
I know you love green drinks.
I have them every morning.
Here's my picture this morning, by the way.
Pre-dawn hours getting ready for you guys.
It's not bad for 7 in the morning.
Oh, that's good.
All right, so we brought one special member of the audience.
Iris, come join us.
She's been on this Better Skin drink menu for a week.
Yes.
And you have perfected it all.
Now, your skin looks fabulous, by the way.
Thank you.
Thank you.
I'm very happy for you.
Are you happy with the program?
Very much so.
Saw a huge difference in just seven days.
My skin feels great.
I feel like it's a real glow-getter, so to speak.
A glow-getter?
It's a glow-getter.
Thank you, Anders.
Nicely done.
All right.
It's afternoon.
Yes.
You're having lunch.
What do you drink with it?
So afternoon, I want you to have two cups of green tea.
And we know this is packed with antioxidants.
It also has things called polyphenols and catechins, which are great for protecting against ultraviolet radiation.
So this is really great for your skin as well, just from a protective and an anti-aging perspective.
Alright, let's move to the evening.
You're having dinner, maybe before dinner drinks.
What do you recommend?
So we always think about cranberry juice in the morning, but the reason I want you to reach for it in the evening is because it's going to undo a lot of the toxic effects that we've had through free radical exposure during the day.
Could you have a nice big Merlot glass of wine instead?
Does that count?
Well, moving on to that, containing the same thing as red wine, resveratrol, blueberries actually have that as well.
So it's blueberry-infused water, so we're going to cut calories there because we have to be cognizant of that as well.
So you literally just add the blueberries to the water, you have to mash them up or anything?
You can mash them or you can just chomp on them at the end, but either way...
But you've got to eat the blueberries as well.
You have to eat the blueberries.
All right.
And just to be clear, because these women have probably diligently followed every minute of this program, if you happen to miss your blueberry one day, you could have two cranberries, you could make extra little green tea.
There's a lot of overlap from the benefits, so as long as you keep going with it and following the regimen, if you love blueberries and don't like cranberries, that's okay.
So it's not like a birth control pill.
You can actually vary it up a little bit and still get good results.
That's right.
You can keep going.
You got to be clear about these things.
All right.
And if you get them all throughout the day and you do it from one day to seven days, as you learn there, we'll get some better results, which is the promise here.
And here's the deal.
We've created for you a very simple, better skin drink menu.
That's what it looks like.
It's on DrOz.com.
I want you to print that thing out or just email it to your friends.
And in the meantime, the five-letter word that could be hurting your health.
Think about it.
What could it be, a five-letter word?
We'll be right back with the answer.
Thank you.
Next.
Sorry, sorry.
You apologize for everything?
I'm sorry.
Even when there's nothing to be sorry about, why are you doing it?
It could be affecting your health.
We're getting to the root of the problem.
Why you need to stop apologizing.
Coming up next.
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- Woo! - Woo! - That's a clip from the hit series Inside Amy Schumer in a recent episode entitled I'm Sorry.
The woman basically apologized for four straight minutes, which was funny, but actually is a little bit uncomfortable to watch.
Amy portrays the obsessive need for many of us to apologize for everything, even when there's nothing to be sorry for.
And for a lot of us, seeing that clip feels all too familiar.
But this five-letter word could be hurting your health.
This is Erica's story.
Is it also yours?
I'm seriously sorry about being sorry about everything.
I'm sorry, can you repeat some of that?
Sorry.
Sorry, sorry.
Not sorry.
Sorry, Adam.
When I started saying sorry often, I felt like I was in my late teens, early twenties.
It became more of my language.
I'm sorry to catch you at a bad time, whether it's at work.
Sorry to be so strict.
Sorry to be a nudge.
I can say it to my son often.
Do you want something to drink, Hud?
Yeah.
What do you want?
No, sorry.
You already have one at home.
Sorry.
He's like, why are you saying sorry?
I'm like, because I'm sorry that I said sorry.
Sorry would be a pain.
Can I get four quarters too?
Sure.
Oh, sorry.
Oh, wow.
When I feel stressed out about not helping someone or feeling sorry about something, I overanalyze it.
And that really draws me to wake up in the middle of the night.
To eat unhealthy things and just really think about it way too much.
And then I can't always focus on things that I want for myself.
I want to be a better role model and person for my son so he can enjoy life and not feel sorry about things.
I want to stop apologizing.
I'm sick of apologizing my life away.
Erica is here.
Thank you so much for having me.
So let's go through this.
You apologize to your son.
You apologize to a co-worker.
You apologize for needing change.
I do.
I apologize quite often.
I noticed that.
So why do you feel that need to apologize, do you think?
I just feel like sometimes it's just easier to be sorry.
I feel like I don't want to be a hassle on anyone if I'm at a retail.
I feel sorry.
Maybe I say to my son, sorry, because I don't want him to be mad at me.
I want to be a good, strong role model for my son, but it's hard.
It's a lot.
Life's hard.
And part of the reason I wanted to have you on the show...
Sorry.
I'm nervous.
I'm really nervous.
I don't want you being nervous.
I'm here to help.
But I notice when you talk about your own feelings, that word sorry creeps in quite a bit.
And I wanted to talk to you because I know many, many people in my own life who are just like you.
And I was always trying to figure out what is it about the word sorry that seems to cope, at least you think you're coping, but it's really not doing that.
It's quite the opposite.
I think it's affecting your health.
Very much so.
So, I took a little survey of a number of times you said sorry just in the course of the time we were interviewing you.
Okay.
Come on over to the TruthTube.
Let's talk about this.
Oh, no.
So, it's a number that I just want to put out there because I want you to at least be aware of what's going on.
And the TruthTube is a very honest way of doing that.
So, you said sorry 24 times.
That's a lot.
Yeah.
And we didn't talk that long in that little interview piece.
No.
So how long in the course of your life, as you think about all this thing, do you think you can say sorry without having any repercussions to your health?
And is it having a repercussion now?
It is.
I don't sleep.
I feel guilty for saying sorry for things maybe I'm not able to do, whether it be an obligation to a friend.
I may be like, sorry, I can't do it.
And then I feel bad.
And then I overthink it.
And then I may reach for something that's not healthy when I eat.
And then I find my eating habits bad.
And then I feel guilty again.
And then I'm sorry again, and then I'm not sleeping.
And I wake up anywhere from 1, 2, 3, 4 in the morning, tossing, turning, trying to get to sleep.
And then when I put on the TV, there's nothing on.
It's all weight loss commercials.
And then I want to eat.
So, I must say, when you're saying sorry that much, it's tough because it keeps you continually exhausted.
So, of course, you turn to food.
You even turn to food when no one's watching, I gather, as well.
I'm not going to answer that.
Yeah, you don't have to.
You don't have to, but at 4 in the morning, you're probably by yourself.
And, you know, some people turn to alcohol.
Some people turn to things they don't want to talk about publicly because they're so embarrassed about it.
And part of this, I think, is a desire to look perfect on the outside because you don't feel perfect on the inside.
So it's a pretend.
Right.
Neither of which is true, by the way.
Neither of which is possible.
Right.
You know, I've been thinking about this issue of sorry.
Okay.
And not just because of you, because I'm in my own life trying to figure this out.
And obviously that concept that maybe you're just a people pleaser and trying to be nice to all that, that's sort of an obvious one.
But there's a deeper level here.
See, I think, deep down, that people who say they're sorry all the time feel that they're taking up too much space.
Sometimes.
That they just wish they weren't there.
They want it to be smaller.
Does it resonate?
Yeah, definitely.
I can see myself being the people pleaser just to make everybody happy.
But again, deep down, I want you to make sure that you realize you're worth it.
All right, so I know and you know it has a big impact on your health.
So we're going to deal with this.
Okay.
So I'm going to bring an expert in to help us out.
Great.
All right.
Her name, as you come in here, is Blanca Cobb.
Come in, Blanca.
She determines what people are really saying by focusing on their behavior.
She's a body language expert.
And I've just been watching your body language.
You're saying lots of things to all of us, but I want Blanca to help you interpret this.
So how common is Erica's story?
Thank you for sharing your story.
Thank you.
And just so you know, there is a sisterhood among us women of I'm sorry.
So many of us do.
And what you're trying to hide in your body, in your body language, because you don't want other people to know how invisible you might feel or how bad, your body is going to reveal it.
And it comes across in different ways, just like Dr. Oz mentioned.
I was watching your body language also.
You have your feet together, your legs tight.
And then what happens is people see that and they're like, you're not as confident.
Why isn't she confident?
And then your self-worth goes down because they treat you, you're not confident, you're not a powerful person.
It's a vicious cycle.
Can women really change their health by changing their vocabulary?
Absolutely!
Because our words become our experiences, Erica.
So when you change your patterns of thinking, you have new experiences and new actions that will follow.
So, and when you realize that there's situations where you don't need to apologize, or it's just this verbal band-aid that really doesn't help anything, Then you're going to see situations differently, and you're going to feel better because you don't have to apologize.
And when you start sending those boundaries, then people are going to say, wow, look how she's treating herself with respect and value.
So it's not just language, but it's a powerful part of this.
So if you stay with us, and it's for everybody at home as well, I want you all to pay attention.
When we come back, three new words to replace sorry with.
We're going to make it our mission.
Next, the five-letter word that's hurting your health.
And you don't know how to stop repeating yourself.
Who doesn't want to be appreciated?
We have three new words to replace it with.
Now the big step.
The simple plan to stop saying sorry.
Coming up next.
It's the first genetically altered animal cleared for dinner tables.
Salmon.
The government says it's safe to eat, so why have some stores refused to sell it?
Plus, music superstar Leanne Rimes criticized for her weight.
I've always wanted to hide inside of myself.
Barely able to perform.
There were moments where I definitely did not want to get out of bed.
The secret that took a physical and emotional toll.
How'd you get past that?
All nuance.
That's coming up on Monday.
Today we're discussing the five letter word that has hurting your health.
It's the word sorry.
Language expert Blanca Cobb is back with me.
How do we find ourselves in this apology epidemic?
That is a fabulous question.
And one is how we raise little girls.
If you think about that, little girls are taught to be nice and polite.
And one way of being nice and polite is to say, I'm sorry.
So even if little Susie knocks Johnny with a 2x4, as long as she says, I'm sorry, then she's reinforced, right?
She's like, I'm sorry.
You have a polite daughter.
She said that she was sorry.
Well, who doesn't want to be valued and appreciated?
So it becomes ingrained and it's part of our language as women.
So we've got this plan.
It's called the SORRY plan.
The acronym though, S-O-R-R-Y. The S stands for save your sorries.
How do we do that?
One is realizing what you're apologizing about.
There are three different categories for apologies.
One, condolences.
Two, if you really hurt someone's feelings.
Or three, if you're trying to right a wrong, you make an error that really affects someone.
For example, not too long ago, I was in a fender bender, and it was my fault.
So after I got out of my car to make sure that the lady was okay, I apologized.
I said, I'm sorry for hitting your car.
I didn't mean to.
That was, I'm damaging her property.
I didn't mean to do it.
The right thing to do is to apologize.
The O stands for owning your decisions.
Now, these are important steps that are going to build up to the really critical one.
Why is that important?
Because they're your decisions to make.
And no one should have a say in your decisions unless you make them.
As long as your decisions are legal and they're not negatively impacting other people, then you should own by your decisions.
The first R of sorry stands for recognize when not to be sorry.
Right.
You argue that being sorry has become like a second nature word, almost reflexive.
Yeah.
We say it even when we have no control over the process.
Is that true?
Yes, it is very true.
And so what should happen is your first response should be no response.
You need to pause and think.
Look at the situation.
Does it really warrant a sorry?
Is it a situation of condolence?
Or you've hurt someone's feelings?
Or you've made a mistake that negatively impacted someone?
If not, then think about what you can say differently and still get resolution.
Now the big step.
Replacing sorry with three new words.
So spring it on us because I want everybody listening carefully.
I want you using these three words over the next week to replace the word sorry.
And they are.
The first one is please.
A lot of time as women, when we feel like we're imposing someone on someone, we will say, I'm sorry.
Instead, say please.
Let me give you an example.
Let's say you want your husband to take out the trash.
So we might say, I'm sorry, will you take out the trash?
Why are you apologizing?
It is a reasonable request.
Instead, talk directly and say, please take out the trash.
You say, darn, I take out the trash.
That's right.
Hey, you.
All right, so please.
It is assertive, actually, interestingly.
It is.
Very assertive, but in a subtle and comfortable way.
That's polite.
Excuse me.
That's okay.
Yes, a lot of time when we feel like we're imposing and we don't want to be a problem, we're going to say, I'm sorry.
Take, for example, you're at a restaurant and your server brings you the wrong meal.
You might, as women, we might want to say, I'm sorry, but this isn't what I ordered.
Why are you sorry?
Part of the server's job is to make sure that you get the right meal and that you're enjoying your meal.
Instead, it's more effective to say, excuse me, this isn't what I ordered.
And how about saying thank you?
Ah, that's a good one.
And a lot of people have terrible understanding it, but a lot of times as women, when we're given constructive criticism, either about ourselves or our children, we feel like we have to apologize for any shortcomings.
So let's say you're at a parent-teacher conference.
And the teacher is giving constructive criticism on some shortcomings on your child's work.
As a mom, we may want to say, I'm sorry, and give this list of reasons for the shortcomings.
But here's the deal.
Your list of reasons are going to be heard as excuses anyway.
It's more effective to say, thank you for the suggestions.
Thank you for bringing this to my attention.
Erica, what about those three words?
Please, excuse me, thank you.
That's something I can definitely do.
I think in your life in particular, they play.
Plus, it, I think, makes you be the person you are.
Take some space up in the universe.
You deserve it.
Thank you.
Stop trying to hide away.
Like so many folks, unfortunately, do behind the word sorry.
Lastly, you, that's the sorry, you are entitled to your feelings.
Why don't women feel that way?
There's this pervasive stereotype, Dr. Oz, that women are emotional!
And I don't know where people get this idea.
She got my attention.
Right?
Yes.
So because we're emotional, it's a strong feelings we want to separate from.
We want to distance it.
I can say this pretty confidently, that almost all women, at some point in their life, when they're not feeling very well, you know what they're told?
It must be your time of the month.
Right?
I've never said that personally, but yeah.
That's great.
You're probably the only man who hasn't.
But that's why we want to distance ourselves from all that emotion because it's seen negatively.
And we don't want to be seen negatively.
We want to be seen positively and confident and valued and we want respect.
Erica, this is for you.
Do you think you'll be able to follow through on this?
Because I think it's important for your health.
Yep, I definitely will try my best.
It's the wrong language.
We have a whole different show on that.
Yes, I will work on it.
I'll work on my pleases and thank yous and excuse me.
Thank you very much for getting that through.
All right, we get all the information from our TruthTube experts and all the guests on DrRoz.com.
It's the hub.
It's TruthTube.
Look for it.
We'll be right back.
Stay here.
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We were all filled with shock and horror as we watched the tragic events in San Bernardino unfold this week.
Vivid images on TV and computer screens came in at record pace in real time.
Many of us, including our children, tuned in for hours.
As we struggle to understand the motivation of these acts, not just in San Bernardino, but in Colorado and Paris and Charleston and elsewhere, I've been asked many times, how can we help our children come to terms with the images and realities that are almost unthinkable to us, even as adults?
After speaking with members of my core team and the medical advisory board, I've come up with some suggestions to help you talk with your kids about these tragic events.
First off, it's important for you to show strength and to stay calm.
Kids take their cues from the adults in their lives.
And some of these kids are adults now, so talk to everyone no matter what their age.
Then it's critical to try and understand how your children are perceiving the situation and how it relates to their own lives, like their family, their school, their friends.
Your kids will go to the worst-case scenarios, it's human nature, and think, could this happen to them or to their school, to their friends?
Experts say it's important to listen closely and offer reassurance that they are safe, but this is important.
Don't make impossible promises like improving world peace.
It's not about that.
It's also important for you to answer your kids' questions as truthfully as possible, but spare them all the gruesome details, especially when it comes to the younger ones.
Giving children the right information can help them from creating their own realities of what happened.
You all know Fred Rogers.
He's known to the world as Mr. Rogers.
A lot of us grew up watching him.
He had excellent advice for helping kids cope with tragedy, which remains relevant even today.
He said, anything that's human is mentionable.
And anything that is mentionable can be more manageable.
When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary.
In times of stress, the best thing we can do for each other is to listen with our ears and our hearts and to be assured that our questions are just as important as our answers.
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