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April 17, 2024 - Dr. Oz Podcast
41:32
Body Shaming: Whitney Thore Fights Back | Dr. Oz | S7 | Ep 17 | Full Episode
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The fat shaming controversy hits a new low.
The video that sparked outrage with Nithor is here fighting back against the latest body shaming attack.
This is insane.
I think that people are really threatened when they see a happy fat person.
Plus, you dropped your phone in the toilet.
See how to survive life's now what moments.
Coming up next.
We'll save lives today.
day You guys ready to get healthy?
Thank you.
Alright, you've all been there.
You burn dinner, you wake up with a hangover, you gain some weight and think, great, now what?
Then you feel anxious because you don't know what to do next.
And the easy way out is to ignore the problem altogether, which some folks are guilty of.
But when you do that, too often it gets worse and it's even harder to fix.
So today's show is all about exactly what to do in the most common now what moments.
And we're going to flip the script a little bit and also give you a what now plan so you're ready for anything that comes your way.
So, on the show today, first, reality and viral video star Whitney Thor is here.
She's fighting back against the latest body-shaming attack.
She has a what-now plan for anyone out there who has gained weight, and the focus is on happiness.
And for everyone out there holding a grudge, we're gonna show you how to let go of that.
I know it's hard, but it's worth it.
And the now-what moment you've all dreaded, dropping your cell phone in the toilet.
You been there?
I'm going to scare you with the amount of information we have around this.
But we've got a plan to bring the phone back to life and get you out of the crisis.
Let's start with Whitney Thor, who has faced a long line of now what's.
And is now fighting back against body shaming.
And critics will say that she is promoting obesity.
Body shaming.
We see it everywhere.
From the recent video made by comedian Nicole Arbor slamming fat people.
That means you're too fat.
To the pregnant meteorologist who received hate mail for her size.
Ivan tackled this issue head on last season.
Join the movement and...
Be body positive!
She even made a response video for Nicole Arbor.
I saw a particularly heinous video on the internet last night.
Nicole Arbor, I'm looking at you.
Fat shaming is not a thing.
Fat people made that up.
Fat shaming is a thing.
It is the really nasty spawn of a larger parent problem called body shaming.
Fighting back with their No Body Shame campaign.
and encouraging all women to love their curbs. - Kenny Thor is here, come on out.
How are you?
Good.
I love when I see you dance.
Give me a smile on my face.
I love it when I see you dance.
Yeah, that's the most embarrassing, though, when I'm dancing.
My kids hate it.
They talk about it all the time.
Do they?
So you dance a lot?
Yes, and they make fun of me.
You're a dancer is what you're saying.
Yes, I love moving around.
So you will dance today is also what you're saying.
All right, I'll dance today.
I will dance today.
So I absolutely adored meeting you when we first spoke.
We covered a lot of ground.
But you've come under a lot of attacks recently, and particularly by folks who say that you're having so much fun being overweight, you're actually promoting obesity.
Right.
I think this notion is insane.
First of all, my life is not an advertisement for anything.
I'm not selling something.
I'm just living my life.
And I think that people are really threatened when they see a happy, fat person.
And I don't understand it.
Like, I am fat, but what am I supposed to do?
Like, sit at home, shut myself in, not have any friends, not pursue my happiness.
And it's not mutually exclusive with also wanting to lose weight.
So I really cannot fathom why people think that I'm promoting obesity.
If anything, I'm just promoting self-love, acceptance, and happiness right now today in this body because it's the only one we have.
You've been very honest about your hormonal imbalance and the role that it's played.
And yet, folks, again, they say it's an excuse.
It's not really the problem.
Well, it's really frustrating because especially if all you've seen is my Big Fat Fabulous life, that's just a little snippet of my life.
You know, I'm 31 years old, so nobody sees everything that I've been through.
The fact that I used to be thin, I had eating disorders, I was diagnosed with a hormonal imbalance, that caused me to gain about 100 pounds in 8 months.
But after that...
You did it 8 months, you did?
8 months.
So after that, I was in a really hard place.
All of a sudden, I was huge and fat and didn't know what to do about it, and people treated me really horribly.
And so that, compounded with a medical condition, has resulted in the body that I have now.
And in fact, my campaign, the No Body Shame campaign, is completely against making excuses.
I think that I deserve to live the life that I want and have all the happiness that I want, and I will never use the excuse that I'm fat.
Thank you.
So there's been a huge outside recently about Project Harpoon.
That's the social media page that was photoshopping celebrities like Rebel Wilson and Melissa McCarthy to make them look thinner.
These are examples of them.
As someone who's gotten a lot of attention, you have both positive and negative online.
What are your thoughts about this trend?
Yeah, this is annoying.
One of the biggest things that people say automatically about, you know, fat people is, well, I'm just concerned for your health.
And I think that about 2% of people who claim that are truly concerned for our health.
And in fact, the same people from that website, I believe, after it got shut down, took back to the Internet to start Photoshopping more.
And I just this morning got a notification on my social media that I'd been Photoshopped again.
And so, yeah, there it is.
So I looked at that, and what I think is really telling is that these dudes who are doing this are like sitting in their mom's basements, right?
And they claim to have a problem with fat.
So they take away the fat on my arms, they took away the fat on my belly, but they didn't leave, you know, they left a lot of fat on the chest.
So I guess that fat's okay.
I just think it's really obvious.
I mean, these guys are photoshopping women.
To fit a certain mold and to look like how women are supposed to look in this industry.
I think women of all sizes, shapes and colors are getting more representation now and I think that's a wonderful thing.
There are a lot of people that don't receive that easily but I'm not worried about people who say that they're concerned for my health because I have a doctor and I have a family and I have people who support me and other people's opinions really don't matter.
It's none of your business what they say.
So let's talk about the advice that you're probably exchanging with your doctor now.
You're diagnosed with pre-diabetes, which a lot of Americans have, like 80 million of us, pretty common.
It is a predictor of developing real diabetes, which of course can lead to heart disease, all kinds of things you don't want to go through.
So how are you able to cope with that information?
To me, it was almost a silent threat.
I felt fine.
I didn't have any symptoms that I could attribute to prediabetes.
So in that way, I think it's really dangerous.
So it really snapped me back into reality to understand that I do have to look after my health.
So I am on a quest to lose some weight.
I'd say about 100 pounds.
I'm interested in making a change that is sustainable, that is healthy, and that fits into a holistic picture of health, which for me is mind, body, and spirit.
And we have everybody talking about what foods to eat and how to lose weight and how to do this, and nobody's talking about how to be happy.
You can do all of those things and never achieve happiness.
And for me, happiness and total health and wellness is my number one priority.
You know, I think if you're happy, you'll lose the 100 pounds.
I agree!
And if you're not, it's not there at the end of the rainbow for you.
Right.
You've inspired a lot of folks.
It's not hard to see why.
You really are remarkably adept at capturing what people are really feeling.
So there are many folks who have followed you.
One of them is named Kathy.
So I've got a little surprise for you.
It's from Kathy.
Take a look.
My whole life I've always been kind of the bigger girl.
I was teased from a young age and never had a whole lot of self-confidence.
Even to the point that when I was 15, even though I loved dancing, I completely quit.
Even into adulthood, I was so embarrassed by my weight that I wouldn't do things.
I told myself, I'll go on vacation when I can fit into that swimming suit, or I'll go out on the town when I can fit into a dress.
It was even to the point that I considered putting off my wedding because I hated how I looked in my wedding dress.
Everything changed when I started watching My Big Fat Fabulous Life.
I went back and watched every episode and I cried through every single one because finally it was like there's someone just like me.
To add to that I found out that I had this exact same hormonal disorder as Whitney so it was nice to know that someone understood that.
I started telling myself if Whitney could feel that good about her body why couldn't I? I mean she says on her show that once you start loving your body and having that confidence then the other people around you start to too.
So I took her advice, and that's exactly what happened.
On August 1st, 2015, I finally got married, and I felt amazing in my wedding dress.
I totally have Whitney to thank for that.
Seeing Whitney gave me so much confidence, and my entire life has changed because of it.
Don't you love that?
It makes me emotional to see, obviously, you as well.
That's amazing, and she's amazing, and I would love to meet her.
Well, she's right here.
If you don't mind, Kathy, come on up.
Your hair smells really good.
Yeah.
Have a seat before we're all crying.
So Kathy, the floor is yours.
What do you want to tell Whitney?
Oh my gosh.
It's just, it's so amazing to know that there's someone out there who gets what this feels like.
And one of the things you said that stuck with me so much was that when you decided to love your own self in the skin you were in, that was the strongest thing you've ever done.
And I always thought that if I just accepted myself, that it meant I was weak.
And it does it, and I know that now, and it feels so amazing, and it's because of you.
Thank you so much.
You're welcome.
All right, so for everyone who's put on weight and asked, now what?
I want you to stay with us, because Whitney is going to share her three steps to happiness at any weight.
It's a plan that goes beyond diet and exercise, because it's about your body and your mind, like we've been saying.
We'll be right back.
Thank you.
Oh my gosh, we're happy to meet you!
Next, are you ashamed of your body?
Hiding yourself in the biggest clothes you can find?
That ends today.
You deserve to feel beautiful.
Learn to embrace your curves.
The three steps to happiness at any rate.
Next.
When your morals are put to the test, and you think no one's watching, how would you deal?
It's our hidden camera experiment.
A child is humiliated for what she's eating.
Pancakes are like loaded in sugar.
Don't you want a boyfriend?
You're embarrassing me.
And how would you deal with just five ingredients that choose Michael Simon gets busy?
Are you frightened or do you feel good about this?
All new Oz.
That's coming up tomorrow.
We are back with Whitney Thor, the star of the popular reality show, My Big Fat Fabulous Life.
And Cathy's also with us.
She's been inspired by Whitney and surprised her on the show today.
So many of you watching have gained weight and you're now asking, now what?
Well, Whitney has her three steps to happiness at any weight plan and she's gonna share it with us right now.
Step number one, Whitney says embrace your curves and actually show them off.
Right.
I think when you feel good about your body, you're not embarrassed of it.
You don't want to hide it.
And if you look at the scale as the sole indication of how you're supposed to feel, you're going to be miserable.
You're going to be depressed.
But I have news for you, sister.
The scale cannot measure your happiness, your self-worth.
It can't quantify all the love in your life.
And so when you think about your body in terms of your feelings and how you feel about it, you feel good.
You feel happy.
You want to be vibrant.
You want to go out and show it off in your clothes.
Reflect that.
So...
Kathy, these are yours, right?
Yeah.
Sister!
We had her bring them just to show them off.
Now, I'm looking at this and I'm feeling like...
I recognize this.
I recognize this outfit from about five years ago.
It's the uniform.
I love this outfit because I could totally hide in it.
You know, I can put my hood over and I pull my arms in and it goes all the way down.
I could completely disappear in it and no one noticed me.
At all.
Okay.
But that is no way to live, I feel like.
And I mean, I can get down with the fact that it's comfortable because I live in leggings.
So it's spandex all day, every day, but at least they're form-fitting.
I feel like you don't want to disappear.
No.
You should build up your confidence to a point.
That I was supposed to wear to my bridal shower.
And I bought it like a year before and I was like, oh, I'm totally going to lose weight.
I can wear it.
Well, in about a month before, I put it on, and it fits, but it was fitted, and so I decided I can't wear it because I can't show that much of my body.
I was completely uncomfortable in it.
So I didn't wear it.
It stayed in the closet.
Well, okay, number one, this dress is beautiful.
Number two, if it comes in my size, I would like one myself.
And number three, sister, you have got to feel like you deserve to feel beautiful.
You deserve to be in something form-fitting.
That took joy out of a day that should have been so big for you, your bridal shower, right?
And what are we focusing on as women?
We're worried about how we're going to look in the dress that we wear?
It's awful.
You cannot let insecurities sap all your self-confidence out of your life.
Agreed.
Step two, no crash diets.
Why is that so important?
Well, like I said, not a lot of people know this about me, but I used to have eating disorders.
I even lost 100 pounds in eight months once, but I never went about it in a healthy way.
And now I'm the heaviest I've ever been in my life.
Well, I have lost some weight, but it's slow going.
So I think that the outcome to a crash diet is never good.
And then we set ourselves up for failure.
And when we fail, we reinforce all these negative ideas like, oh, I knew I wasn't good enough.
I knew I was going to mess this up.
Let me, if I can, take one second and explain to you why I'm so worried about these diets.
Come on back here.
This is why, although it's very tempting, you really shouldn't go on a crash diet.
And this is true for a lot of folks, but they don't really process it.
So you remember that commercial that said this is your brain on drugs?
That commercial, so effective?
Yeah.
I'm gonna show you what happens when you put your body on a really strict diet so you never think about it again.
For everybody out there, get it out of your mind.
So, let's say you want to go on a starvation diet.
First few hours of your first day.
You know, you're doing okay.
Then you get a little hungry, right?
But you're still committed.
You're still committed.
And then you start to slow down, right?
We've all been here.
Slow down.
You're burning less calories, moving around less because your body's trying to conserve energy.
And then day two, you weigh yourself and boom!
Boom!
You dropped a few pounds in only a day.
You're high-fiving.
You're feeling pretty good.
You feel like, oh, boy.
Boy, do I look pretty good, right?
So you stick with it, everything's good.
But let's look at what's happening inside your body.
The scale tipped because you actually are getting rid of water weight.
All the water's coming off you.
Sure you lose some fat, but there's something much more sinister happening inside you, lurking around, stealing your muscle.
Because it's so desperate for energy, your body's taking it.
So there aren't enough nutrients left, right?
You're just, in your brain, suffering.
And these nutrients, sparse as they are, are wandering around, not getting into your brain.
And what happens next?
You turn into an angry, hungry person.
Right?
There's the angry.
And then you slip.
You slip.
And you indulge.
Right?
Yes.
And all of a sudden, complete chaos.
Everything is just coming down around you.
Right?
And then you begin to gain that water weight back.
The exact opposite.
The water comes back into your body.
And you look at the scale.
And you look like this.
Right?
That's why you should never go on a crash dive.
Yes, I agree.
Am I telling you a story accurately?
The story of my life in one minute, just on repeat, like in loop, over, over, over.
So, one favor everybody, if you've got a weight problem, and you're trying to lose it pretty significantly, the best person to give you advice is the doc.
Get them involved, they have ideas, there may be a medical problem that both of you experienced, and it makes a big difference to have someone chipping in to help a little bit like that.
All right, the last step is the most fun for me, and I know it's part of what you do, because I watch you do it all the time.
Whitney says join a dance class.
No matter what size you are, why is it the best exercise?
Well, I love exercise in general and always have.
Like in season two of My Big Fat Fabulous Life, I try out all these new things.
I learned how to ride a bike again or I did Taekwondo.
But I even ran a 5k.
Can you believe that?
You did?
Run is a loose term.
More like brisk walk.
I love you.
You made 5K happen.
I did.
I did it.
But the biggest sanctuary for me remains a dance studio.
And that's because I think it's very open.
It's very free.
It's something that's present in every culture in the world.
And physical activity, especially when you find one that you love, it forces you to be intimate with your body.
So you have to look at it.
You have to feel it.
You have to know how it moves.
You know?
I can't do that.
Look, you're getting it.
You're getting it.
You're getting it.
You're good at it, Kathy.
That's good.
All right, time to dance.
Put the music down.
Let's dance it.
Show me what you're going to do here.
Oh, that's, that's...
I'm going to hurt myself.
I'm going to hurt myself.
Oh, my back.
You keep dancing.
You go see Whitney's show, My Big, Fat, Fabulous Life.
Wednesday night signs guilty.
Keep dancing.
I want to see it.
You grabbed too much, now what?
The audience's best hangover cues is next.
We'll be right back.
Coming up next, what started as an amazing night has turned into an incredibly painful day.
The dreaded hangover.
And now your body's paying the price.
We've found some of the best remedies to repair the damage.
Next.
You know what happens.
You have some wine with dinner, you go to a barbecue with some beers, and then you wake up a little hungover.
And then it has you asking, now what?
It's today's conversation.
What do you do when you find yourself hungover?
I know some of you have remedies.
I'm sure.
Who's got home remedies for being hungover?
Way in the back, obviously, because they got here late probably.
All right.
Go ahead.
We were early.
For a hangover is a good homemade eggnog.
Just scoop that raw egg up and let her go down.
Raw egg.
Yeah.
You could trade in hangover for salmonella with that.
No, no.
Not yet?
Not yet.
The alcohol kills the salmonella probably.
Maybe so.
I would just have another beer or two.
Yeah.
That's for a different show.
All of you have beer for breakfast.
We're going to do a show on you.
Go ahead.
That was actually my remedy as well.
Just drink some more.
Oh, get out of here.
Is that really it?
Yes.
Just evened you back out.
This is a bad part of the audience to be in.
This is a bad part of the audience.
So, here's the thing.
There's one hangover cure that I happen to like a lot, and I actually heard it from one of the audience members.
It's from Natalie.
How are you, Natalie?
Hi, how are you?
So, how'd you learn this cure?
Well, actually, I'm a bartender here in New York City for at least a decade now, and I actually use it myself.
I actually heard about it.
The idea came along from patrons of mine that I had served over many years at different bars and places.
I've heard everything under the sun, but this was one that I tried myself, and they also used it as well, my patrons, and it's the best.
It's honestly, it works the best.
So, share the secret.
What is it?
Okay, it is chicken noodle soup.
It works for everything.
It turns out to be a fantastic remedy and there's actually lots of information about why.
Do you understand the scientific underpinnings of your advice?
Um, I just know that it's very warm and soothing, and the liquid, I'm assuming, is what hydrates the body and keeps it hydrated, as of course you get dehydrated during, you know, drinking.
Yeah, but it's more than just the liquid.
It's interesting.
Soup has something that we all need in order to hydrate ourselves, and it's a very natural form of it.
It's salt.
Yes.
Now, normally we're on their show telling folks, be careful, salt.
I don't think I've ever recommended salt before, but this is the one exception.
All right, so, chicken soup, chicken soup like this is 890 milligrams of salt, right?
That's a lot.
That's five times more Than most sports drinks.
So, here, why don't you get up here?
You guys do this together.
Don't spill this now, alright?
Here's the chicken soup.
Chicken noodle soup.
I want you to pour it in this little container so we can do this little experiment.
Don't spill it!
The pressure.
Are you nervous?
Yeah.
Are you hungover?
Not today.
How about you?
Little bit.
Little bit hungover?
Alright.
That's perfect.
You can put that down there.
Now, you're the salt.
Hold the salt there.
Hold the salt in place.
Now, what we're going to do is a very simple experiment.
You hold the body, Natalie, don't let it spill.
You hold the chicken soup up in the air, okay?
And you and I are going to be the salt.
And when you pour the chicken soup into the body, hold it above it.
Just hold it straight up in the air, high as you can do.
The salt literally attracts fluid.
Like that.
Keep going at it.
Come on.
Keep going at it.
Make a big mess there.
Now, all that fluid that's pouring into your body is stuck there because the salt, the salt is making the holes bigger and bigger so it can stay.
Then, after you have the chicken noodle soup, what do you do?
Drink a lot of good old-fashioned water, right?
It works, it works, it works with all that fluid.
Oh, it's like you're urinating in there.
It's perfect.
All right?
And then the other thing, if that doesn't work, a little ibuprofen is what I like to use.
I prefer that over acetaminophen.
And here's why.
Acidaminophen is broken down your liver just like the alcohol is.
So if this doesn't get you there, a little of that ibuprofen will make you feel a little bit better.
Thank you very much.
Don't put it down.
You got a lot more work to do.
It's a magical cup.
It'll pour the rest of the day.
For everyone out there who's holding a grudge, are there grudge holders out there?
Yeah, I know you're out there.
It could be affecting your health, your mind, and your body.
So now what?
When we come back, we're going to go over how to let go of a grudge.
Almost there.
Next, are you holding on to a grudge and can't let go?
It's one of the biggest barriers to a healthy mind.
But is it all in your head?
Find out what's causing you to hold back before it affects your physical well-being.
Coming up next.
When your morals are put to the test and you think no one's watching, how would you deal?
Don't you want a boyfriend?
You're embarrassing me.
It's our hidden camera experiment.
All new Oz.
that's coming up tomorrow. - So these balloons represent a grudge that we're all holding on to.
Each of us has our own.
We're going to focus on letting go of grudges, one of the biggest barriers to a healthy mind.
You guys ready?
Let them go.
Woo!
They're popping, those grudges!
Isn't that great?
Oh!
Some people let go of grudges even later.
So if you've been holding on to a grudge, like some people, for months or even years, now what?
Here's Sable's story.
I had an amazing relationship with my dad.
We were best friends.
I was his handy-dandy sidekick, and nothing was ever going to come in between that.
However, six or seven years ago, he started making decisions that I didn't agree with, and it has created a grudge between him and I. The hardest part is knowing that I have to walk away and not turn back.
There are times where I'll be in places and I know, oh me and my dad used to do that.
It's annoying because you can't shake it.
It sticks.
I get really bad headaches.
It's not a hunger headache.
It's not a headache because the music is too loud.
I can't take a pill and say, okay, I feel better.
This grudge is definitely holding me back from the peace that I can have within myself.
The truth is, I love my dad.
I would love to get over this.
I just don't know how.
Zabel is here.
So take me back to seven years ago.
What happened that made you hold this terrible grudge?
Seven years ago, I developed a grudge against my dad.
It was a family transition.
It made me angry.
It made me upset.
I felt betrayed.
I was a little depressed at times.
It's just something I have to let go.
Even now, seven years later, you feel those same emotions?
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
Because I haven't stepped up to face it.
I always say to myself, you know, I'm good.
Time heals everything.
It'll be fine.
Don't worry about it.
I have to let it go.
I have to face it.
And it's something that...
You know you need to let it go, but you haven't yet.
No.
That's part of the reason I want to talk to you, because you're not alone.
We're all holding on to those balloons, not letting them go.
I gather you think about it a fair amount.
Obviously, it's taking a toll.
You haven't found a coping tool that works for you yet.
No.
So, the thing about grudge is sort of interesting.
They can not just be an emotional issue.
They can also be an issue physically.
Look at this list of symptoms I put up there.
Researchers found that people who hold a grudge suffer from all of these.
High blood pressure, heart disease, stomach aches, pains, back pain, headaches, things you don't even think could be correlated.
Do you suffer from any of those?
I get really bad headaches.
It makes me upset because I can't get rid of it.
It weighs me down, and it's something that I tend to say, okay, I can sleep it off.
Yeah.
You wish you could.
Yeah.
So you say, well, it's not surprising you're having headaches, and frankly, a lot of the other pains, back pains, things that we think of are, you know, unrelated to our emotions.
It's not surprising that they're correlated with this because it's about anger.
Right.
And those are all signs of anger.
That's what happens to our body.
Because our body can tell.
Even if we don't want to tell it, it can figure it out on its own.
So what do you think is holding you back seven years later from letting go of something?
Seven years later, it's definitely myself.
It's me telling that I'm okay.
Don't worry about it.
I'm over it.
You know, I'll get over it.
I'll take a little bit more time to get over it.
But when I bring things to surface and I can look the issue in the face and say, you know, this is what I need to be okay.
Then I know that I'll have let go of that grudge.
The question is, how did you and so many others get there?
I got to say, grudges to me were always similar to poison.
But in this case, you're actually taking the poison yourself and hoping the person you have a grudge with will suffer.
Doesn't work that way.
Sometimes it's quite the opposite.
They're happy that you're not doing well.
So I'd love to know what would be different in your life if you can get past that grudge.
If you can actually accomplish what you're telling me you want to do.
I feel that I'll be free.
I feel much lighter that I've let go of the burden.
I would know that because there's an understanding of how I feel that I can be accepting of myself.
I'll feel that I'm good enough again and I won't have to settle for things or relationships.
I will know to put myself on top.
You know, I don't necessarily think that this December we'll get together and have, you know, a great Christmas, but I know that If I'm in the same room with you, I'll be okay.
You know, you said something really important.
I think we have to drop expectations about what forgiveness really means and about what getting to a grudge really entails.
And when we come back, that's what we're going to talk about.
We've got a plan to get you past your grudges so you don't have to stress all about it.
Be ready with us.
Next, is anger and resentment ruining your life?
Does the stress weigh on you so heavily you don't know what to do?
It's letting go of all that negativity so that you can have peace.
The three-step plan to let go of your grudge.
Next.
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Did I get it right?
- Thank you.
Sable, like so many of you, is holding onto a grudge that is stressing her out.
Life coach Valerie Burton is here, and she says she has the tools to solve when a life's most now-what challenges.
So why is it so easy to form a grudge?
You know, sometimes it really is because we're easily offended.
Sometimes it's that core fear that so many people have of rejection.
And one of the other reasons is that a lot of times people are afraid to actually confront a grudge, to actually tell themselves the truth and admit that they were hurt or they were disappointed.
And when you are holding on to a grudge, is it because you haven't been apologized to?
What is it that makes it so sticky?
Sable keeps telling me she wants to get rid of it, but obviously we haven't gotten there seven years later.
You know, a lot of times there's a misconception about forgiveness, that if I forgive you, I'm saying that what you did is okay.
So it's really important that we understand forgiveness isn't about saying this is okay.
Forgiveness is about letting go of your resentment, letting go of the negative emotion, letting go of any revenge that you might feel or trying to prove a point.
It's letting go of all that negativity so that you can have peace.
So like stepping over the person.
Sometimes.
So you say there are three steps that you can give us right now.
So many out there let go of their grudge.
Are you paying attention?
I know you want to do it, but here's how you're going to do it.
The first is be willing to forgive.
Take me deeper into that idea.
It really is a decision and being able to open your heart to being able to forgive.
Understanding it doesn't mean that it was okay.
It means that you want your own healing, your own joy, because otherwise you're giving the other person power over your feelings by saying, unless you apologize, unless you change your actions, I'm going to stay angry.
And that does nothing for the other person, but it hurts you.
So Sable, just think about forgive us in the way we talked about it here, because it came up in our conversation.
Think about it not as, you know, absolving them, but more distancing yourself from that whole equation.
What do you think?
I think it's helpful that I can be able to sit down and say that I do forgive you.
And I think that it's a great point that forgiveness isn't about saying what you're doing is okay.
But it's for me.
It's for my closure.
And what you decide to do after that, that's on you.
So it's for me.
And how do we distance ourselves from the grudge?
Because that's going to be hard for Sable.
It obviously offended her.
Yeah.
You've got to, a lot of times we focus so much on what do I not want.
And focusing on an obstacle does not help you overcome the obstacle.
You've got to have a vision.
So what is it that she wants out of this relationship?
If she keeps focusing on that grudge, it becomes very hard to focus on the joy and the peace that she really wants in her life.
The last step you say, which is critical, is let it out to let it go.
Yes.
So, I think it's very helpful to write through it.
There's research that shows that writing through difficulties in our lives actually improves our health, that there are benefits to that.
But not telling the other person, what's hurt you, keeps you stuck.
She needs to tell him the truth, and who knows, he might actually apologize if he knew how badly he hurt his daughter.
So, Sabah, what's next?
Working on me first.
Just working on my confidence and my self-esteem and knowing that I am good enough to make that next step forward to better my relationship with myself.
And then in time, maybe there will be a healing process and something that I will say, I'm comfortable in this place.
Has talking about it today helped it or hurt it?
It actually helped it because this is the first time I'm very open about it and that I'm not scared to express myself and I'm comfortable and I'm confident and I know that today is the first step towards forever.
We're well rooting for you.
We are.
Thank you.
We get the full plan today and all the information from our truth to experts at dros.com.
Check them out.
We'll be right back.
Next, you dropped your cell phone in the toilet.
Now what?
The solution is next.
When your morals are put to the test and you think no one's watching, how would you deal?
Don't you want a boyfriend?
You're embarrassing me.
It's our hidden camera experiment.
All new Oz.
That's coming up tomorrow.
So what I'm about to do is going to make some of you guys pretty uncomfortable.
Cell phone.
Toilet.
Oops.
I dropped the phone in the toilet.
Now what?
One of the most stressful things that can happen to you, I just did.
If you think I'm sounding dramatic, take a look at this survey that I put online.
On a stress scale of 1 to 10, 72% of you, three-quarters of you said it was a 10. It was the worst thing that could happen to you.
In fact, 67% said they'd rather give up carbs for a week, which is actually really good for you, than drop their phone in the toilet.
I mean, this is a pretty compelling argument that this is an issue.
So audience, put your hands up.
Who has dropped their phone in the toilet before?
Some waterproofers up there.
We'll find out about that.
But, you know, about half the audience.
So, I've got Denden here.
How are you, Denden?
Hi.
You told me before the show that this has happened to you.
Yes.
So, what happened, my dear?
Okay, so I was visiting my family in North Carolina at a party, and I went to the restroom, and...
And thank God, it fell before I started doing my do.
But my phone fell in the toilet, and it was horrible.
So what'd you do?
I just grabbed it.
You put your hand in the water?
Sure did.
Sure did.
What if you'd already done your doo-doo, as you said?
Well, see, I don't know.
Like, my brain wasn't thinking about toilet water.
My brain was thinking, my baby!
My baby's in the water!
And did it work?
Were you able to save it?
I pulled it out, and then I started doing all kinds of stuff.
CPR, chest compressions?
Yes, yes.
No, I was wiping.
I was drying it.
I was doing all kinds of stuff right when I started realizing how gross that was, and then I washed my hands.
Yeah, that would be a problem.
I wouldn't put it in your mouth.
But did the phone work again?
Yeah, after a few things.
Is there something that actually you think was most responsible for saving your phone?
I opened it all the way up and I took all of the parts out and I like dried everything.
And the entire time I was praying.
Like I was praying.
I was like, Lord, please save my phone.
I love my phone.
You keep praying, by the way.
It's a separate issue.
But let me show you one of the most popular remedies out there for wet phones.
Okay.
It's instant rice.
Instant rice?
Instant rice.
Now you might think, what the heck does that have to do with the phone?
And that's better than regular rice?
Yes.
Okay.
I actually looked into this.
All right.
It turns out it works.
So stop what you're doing, stop the presses.
It turns out instant rice is probably one of the smartest things to use if you drop your phone or electronics in the water.
Here's why.
Normally, rice is sort of like this.
The starch has no holes in it.
It's very much contained.
You can break it apart when you boil it, but it's normally like this.
Instant rice is different.
It's more porous.
So that allows the starches to suck the water out very effectively.
So, I'm here to give you the what now plan when your phone drops in the toilet.
What are we going to do?
We're going to do this together.
You're going to demonstrate it for me.
So, we're going to pretend that's your phone in that toilet over there.
You just dropped off in that club in North Carolina.
So, what's the first thing to do?
Don't dilly-dally.
You've got to get it.
You've got to get it out.
Don't linger.
Come on, get it out.
Okay, all right.
Come on.
Ooh, that's gross.
That turns out...
You shouldn't be all that freaked out about it because most people's phones probably have as much bacteria as a clean toilet would.
Really?
Yes.
Oh, that's so gross.
Because you've been breathing on it, spitting on it, talking on it, yelling on it.
In fact, you're lucky that you dropped this in the toilet bowl as opposed to water that's in an ocean because salt water is a death sentence for phones.
Oh, it'll like corrode it.
Yeah, well, it also short circuits it.
Don't drop it back in again.
All right.
Now, you've got to actually wash your hands and put it down there.
All right.
Sanitizer.
Okay.
First thing you're going to do is clean your hands.
There you go.
Thank you.
Now you're much more comfortable.
What happened to the phone?
All right.
So, the phone, now that you've got your hands cleaned up, you can use a sponge, which is more absorbent, or a dry towel, and you can top it up.
But as you do that, this is really important.
Don't try to turn it on.
Don't try to work the thing.
You have got to, if you can, remove the SIM card and the battery.
If you can't, these phones, you can't turn it off.
Yes.
You do not want this thing trying to work.
If it tries to work, it actually will possibly short out, and that will really destroy it.
Electricate itself.
Yeah, you don't want that to happen.
Okay.
Okay?
So, once you've turned it off, finish drying it, go nicks and crannies done.
That will improve your chance a little bit.
What you're not going to do, what you're not going to do is stick it in the oven.
Right?
Don't microwave the thing.
Don't do anything like that.
Blow drying it, because you'll actually fry it by putting extreme heat on it.
What you could do, if you happen to have a vacuum, you can suck the water off.
For example, these little holes that it has, like down there.
You could try to suck the water out if you want.
Okay, so my blowing action is the opposite of what we want to do.
We want to pull.
We were pushing water deep into the foam.
You want it to suck the water out.
You could suck the water out with your mouth, but I don't recommend that.
Okay, I'm just getting past that.
Okay, now here's the important part, right?
We talked about the rice.
You got two quarts of rice right here, okay?
There's paper towel.
You have to wrap paper towel around the foam because the rice will get into the nooks and crannies.
Again, it absorbs the water so much it'll stick to it.
So wrap it up like that.
Just gently wrap it up.
Good.
Now, make a little hole here.
You're going to put it deep in that rice.
Go ahead.
Immerse it in that rice.
All right.
And you cover it up like that.
And this is the hardest part for all of you.
Don't eat that rice.
No, I was looking at it.
You said it was porous.
It's instant rice.
All instant rice is.
That's why you're able to cook it so quickly.
But the hardest part is actually...
Not putting it in here, it's leaving it in here.
Being patient.
Being patient.
For 24 to 36 hours.
It's a long time.
Most of you, 10 minutes later, are back, you're just curious.
Yeah, I know.
I left my phone away, and I was like, go get a drink.
Absolutely.
Curiosity kills your phone.
Let it be down there.
Now, of course, you've got the second problem, which is the emotional stress of not having your phone and worrying about your baby, as you call it.
And I've got an answer for this, too.
It is a cup of black tea.
I love tea.
Well, don't drink it near the phone because you're not too good with phones, obviously.
But this can actually help reduce your cortisol levels, which will make you feel better as you cope with the tragedy, the trauma of potentially losing your phone.
Thank you so much.
If you're having a meltdown, have this with a fan, you'll be better off.
Lots of science behind this.
Use your instant rice.
All right.
Up next, you burn dinner.
Now what?
what quick and easy ways to cover up a dinner disaster.
Ever feel like you're being pulled in a million different directions?
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Y'all ready for this?
It's time for our brand new season of The Dr. Oz Show.
It's time for you.
That's coming up Friday on Dr. Oz.
We've been talking about what to do in those now what moments to stress you out.
And I've been sharing clear steps so you can be prepared.
So pay attention because this actually might happen to you tonight.
You burn dinner.
Ooh, it's bad, isn't it?
The smell, the lost food.
Now what do you do?
So this is what you're going to be talking about tomorrow.
The quick and easy trick that you can do to save your burnt dinner.
Who here is burnt rice?
I've done that a lot.
So easy to burn.
Two seconds off the stove and it's burnt.
So for burnt rice, this is all you need to...
is to get yourself one piece of white bread.
A slice of white bread.
We don't talk about white bread and its merits very often here because I don't like to eat it that often, but this works well.
Take the lid off this burnt rice.
Don't touch the burnt rice while it's still hot.
You're gonna put that white bread in there and then cover the lid and walk away.
You're gonna wait 10 minutes.
10 minutes.
And then you're going to go back in and just remove the toast.
The toast will have absorbed, the piece of white bread will have absorbed that burnt taste.
The white bread acts like a sponge.
And then what are you going to do?
You're going to scoop out the rice, but you're not going to go too deep.
You're only going to get the rice that's not burnt yet.
You're down deep in here, it's bad.
You don't want that rice.
That you don't want.
Leave that back in there.
Only the top part.
Leave the brown stuff at the bottom.
And this will be a way for you to salvage your rights.
People will be applauding you and they'll be so happy with you.
So I'm going to make this handy tip card.
It will be on my Pinterest page and on my website.
So print it or pin it and share it with your friends.
They're going to thank you forever.
And remember, healthy and happy starts at home.
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