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April 15, 2024 - Dr. Oz Podcast
41:44
Blueprint for Balance: Overcome Burnout and Get Back on Track! | Dr. Oz | S7 | Ep 15 | Full Episode
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Ever feel like you're being pulled in a million different directions?
We have a plan that takes you from burnout to back on track.
We're launching Blueprint for Balance, our year-long series that offers you the real tools, tips, steps, and insights to get you released.
Y'all ready for this?
It's time for our brand new season of The Dr. Oz Show.
It's time for you.
Coming up next...
We'll save lives today.
We are great and healthy!
Thank you!
Thank you.
Now, I've been looking forward to today's show because we are taking on a subject that I'm most passionate about this season.
Balance.
The question I get all the time is, how can you find balance in your life?
And listen, the answer isn't easy.
Because you're being pulled in a million different directions and trying to figure out which takes priority.
And you know what?
I hear ya.
Because I'm trying to find balance in my own life.
After all, How can you be healthy if you're not balanced?
That's why this show is so important to me.
Now, I've asked my audience, all you kind folks who participated in this, to be part of a great social experiment.
Everybody here has revealed a part of their life that is most out of balance.
We put them all up here on the big board of balance.
Whether it's your work or your family, money, health, happiness, they're all in here.
They're all important.
Some of them have double layers of concerns and some weren't as much of a problem.
But even if one, just one of these is out of balance, it can deplete your life.
Leading to stress and burnout.
So today, I'm introducing my blueprint for balance.
It's a year-long project that will get your life from burnout to back on track.
And we're going to start by learning to live in the moment and why your brain craves happiness with a neurosurgeon who has actually researched your brain unhappy, Dr. Sanjay Gupta.
Then, living in the moment and living life to the fullest.
It's not always easy.
So today, I've got the five questions, just five, to ask yourself that will lead you to be present and live in the now.
And living in the moment is one of the keys to successful relationships.
And it's also one of the reasons many will gain happy pounds.
You know what those are, happy pounds.
When you meet somebody, you put a little weight on.
Well, we're going to tell you how to embrace those happy little love handles.
But first, one of my favorite quotes about balance comes from Albert Einstein.
Life is like riding a bicycle.
To keep your balance, you must keep moving.
So no matter what part of your life is out of balance, it's okay.
It really is.
By the end of my plan, you'll have the tools, the steps, the insights to help you manage the areas that you need balanced.
There she is.
It's taking you right there.
And I brought in some of the country's top minds to help you out.
Work, family, health, happiness.
How can you get it all in balance?
And what about food, money, love?
Creativity, connection and resilience.
Spirit, strength, forgiveness.
They're all interconnected and need to be in balance too.
If you feel like life is pulling you in a million different directions and everything is out of whack, then this is your year.
Our season-long initiative, The Blueprint for Balance, starts today.
Make this the year you commit to our Blueprint for Balance and get your life from burnout to back on track.
And your journey to Bounce starts with my good friend and colleague, CNN's chief medical correspondent, Dr. Shange Gupta.
God, I love having you on the show.
Thanks, buddy.
You make me want to become a neurosurgeon.
Right.
Most important organ.
We always have this conversation, the brain or the heart.
No, no, no.
Without the heart, there's no brain.
What's the point?
We're all about our hearts.
It's the most poetic organ.
That's right.
Anyways, for a different day.
Balance.
We struggle with it.
What does it mean to you?
I think for me, and I give it a great deal of thought, I think it really has to do with mindfulness.
And what I mean by that is being really present in the moment.
We have lots of different things going on in our lives.
The struggle becomes when we're doing one thing and we're focused on something else.
You took a shower this morning.
Did you just feel the water going down your back when you listen to your kids talking?
Are you making a mental to-do list thinking about something else?
Are you listening and enjoying your kids talking?
That, to me, really gives you the balance.
You don't feel resentment or guilt about doing one thing.
You give it your full attention.
Well, we appreciate its importance.
You'd think we'd be able to do it, yet it's elusive for all of us.
Me, you, in fact, everyone watching probably.
Why is it so difficult to achieve balance?
We are pulled in so many different directions.
We're taking in so much data.
Every minute we may be taking 35 megabytes of data, just as you and I are talking.
We're trying to focus on so many different things.
Here's the challenge, is that when you're doing one thing, if you are truly Thinking about something else, you start to have a sense of guilt.
You come home, you say, you know, I really should be at the office still, and therefore you start to have some guilt about that.
That takes away your balance.
It also takes away your happiness.
Instead, you know, a lot of times I'll incorporate my young children now into my work.
Hey, I did this interesting thing at work today, girls.
What do you think about this?
As opposed to saying, draw a line between family life and your work life.
I try not to do that anymore.
And they love it.
I love it.
It helps me get my balance.
You see why I love him so much?
Assange is not alone.
We have put together arguably the biggest and best thinkers on balance in one place at one time.
So let's meet some of my other Blueprint for Balance experts.
First off, Oprah just named her the next generation thought leader, Gabriel Bernstein.
She started the quiet revolution and is the author of the power of introverts to the world that can't stop talking, Susan Cain.
One of Psychi's leading doctors of using food to balance groove, Dr. Drew Ramsey.
She's established herself as a rock star leader in meditation, in part because she's a DJ too, Donna DeCruz, and the CEO of the wellness company, Happy Ernie Natalie Colgan is joining us.
Aren't they a bunch of well-groomed, well-balanced looking individuals?
Thanks for being part of this.
I'm going to start with Gabriel.
She talks a lot about the issue of overachieving.
We're a nation of people who are cramming all the stuff in as much as we can.
And yet, trying to do that argues against the very balance that we're trying to show people this year.
Right, yeah.
Well, true balance has to come from a desire to surrender.
And I think we have to face the fact that we're not going to be able to get everything done overnight.
We're not going to be able to please everyone or achieve all of our goals immediately.
So we have to really let ourselves off the hook and have that desire to surrender and accept that we're not superhuman and we can't do it all at once.
And when we accept that, that's when we really begin the pathway to balance.
And that balance will create more flow and more peace and more happiness and more health.
That's what we're here for.
I feel more balanced already, Gabriel.
Susan Cain wrote a book on the power of quiet, right?
But how is it we find calm so we can achieve balance?
Well, you know, so much of calm, it's not only about techniques like deep breathing.
It also comes from a deep emotional place of feeling entitled to be who you are and to take the alone time that you need.
So, for example, in my work with introverts, I often tell people, If you know that you have a morning full of business meetings, make sure that you're scheduling a lunch date just with yourself.
If you know that you're going to have a weekend of a family reunion, make sure you feel entitled to slip away for a nice read with a long book or to take a long walk.
Because the truth is, when we get the alone time we need, that's when we can be most present for the people we love.
And you've discovered that a lot more of us are actually introverts than we appreciate.
Dr. Drew, who apparently was my second-year resident, and this morning confided I was not abusive, Sanjay.
I don't know.
You said we're a nation obsessed with food, yet food influences mood in many ways and throws our balance off.
Yeah, and we're obsessed with the wrong foods, Dr. Oz.
We're obsessed with the simple sugars, the refined carbs, the wrong fats, and they throw off our balance.
So we're going to help everybody get on the right foods.
We're going to put them on the foods that help improve brain function, balance their moods, sharpen their brain, help with mental health.
And it's more than just kale.
Well, we're going to give them some kale.
We're going to give them a little kale.
Danny DeCruz is a world-famous disc jockey.
The reason she's here is because you know more about work-life balance than most people that I appreciate.
And I'd love to hear you share some of your insights.
Yes, well, it's actually really important, I think.
See, balance is coming off already.
Look at the effect I'm having.
People are falling right behind us.
I think it's really important.
One of the first things I think fundamentally is we have to realize that it's our right to have inner peace, to embrace connection.
And we are so caught up in the doingness, in the busyness, that we forget that we are human beings, not human doings.
And it's in our beingness that we actually get to express Our spirit reconnect to our truth and really expand and live the best life we can.
And we do that by really coming to stillness, appreciating whether that's through gardening, whether that's through meditation.
we come we sit we listen we eavesdrop onto our into our into that spirit place and we aren't we should be unabashed about that to embrace that truth i can't wait to see the playlist now he's going to join us a bit later in the show so i'll let her speak then and listen this plan is a big idea we're very excited about it this balance team uh and you guys are wonderful to come today but we've got even more wonderful people out there we're going to throughout the season edges and nudges in the right direction now to make it easier for you
we work together to create the blueprint for balanced scorecards.
It's what it looks like.
It allows you to track your progress on your journey towards balance.
Now, as you engage with our tips and insights at each step on the plan, you're going to feel better.
We're going to walk you through it so straightforward.
When we come back, we're going to start with Sanjay Gupta.
The new science that proves living in the moment is the first step towards balance and a life of happiness.
Stay with us.
The short-burst diet.
It's only five days a month.
For women who can't stick to a long-term plan.
But is it safe?
We break it all down.
And what happens when real women try one-size-fits-all clothing?
Okay, ladies.
This thing is tiny.
Funny lady Jenny Poulos and I team up for a hilarious social experiment.
All new Oz.
That's coming up on Monday.
Dr. Sanjay Dupka is back and he's helping me kick off my season-long blueprint for balances.
And today we're focusing on living in the moment.
What does that actually mean to you, living in the moment?
And why do you think it's so critical for the kind of balance challenges we face?
Very few people actually do this, living in the moment.
And I think it's critical because I think, first of all, It probably makes you a lot better at what you're doing that moment.
Sounds obvious, but a lot of people don't realize that.
We've come to believe that multitasking actually makes us more efficient.
The opposite is true, and in a big way.
So actually, when you're living in the moment, you're paying attention to what you're doing, and you're able to actually think about other things at the time that you're doing those other things better as a result.
You know, and by the way, it's professionally and personally.
You've got to do this with your family and your friends as well.
Don't be checking your phone when you're at dinner.
Don't be thinking of your mental to-do list when your six-year-old is talking to you.
It drives me nuts.
I mean, look, I'm a relatively new dad still, but I think that's one of the most important things.
One of the worst things that happens in my family, I fight it all the time, is we get in the car, all of us, and the kids get on their phones.
Like they're not in the car.
Simple things like that, but they add up to this balance issue.
A lot of folks have been asking about happiness.
How do you actually know when you're happy?
You know, I think it's one of those things that they've described.
It's hard to really know it, but you know it when you feel it.
It means different things to different people.
For me, I think it means a life of contentment and purpose.
If I go to bed thinking that I accomplished everything that I could accomplish that day, I feel pretty happy about that.
Also, I think if I were to ask you, Mehmet, are you happy?
And you answered it, and I know that you meant it.
These sound like simple things, but that's really it.
I also think we live in a cynical world.
I think we need to decrease cynicism.
We should be skeptical to some extent of things, but not overly skeptical to the point where it takes away our happiness.
We should let go of grudges.
Grudges do no good.
Grudges are just basically prescriptions for unhappiness.
Absolutely.
Taking poison and wishing ill on others.
It doesn't get you there.
It doesn't do anything for you.
We're all here on the same planet.
We've got one life to live.
So Sanjay's found scientific proof that living in the moment and achieving happiness is easier than you think.
I love this.
Take a look.
Let me actually quiz you guys because we've got some science around some answers that you may not think exist.
So, for example, how many of you think it's more important to have one best friend or a large group of good friends?
Okay, so hands up for folks who like having just one really good friend.
All right.
It's a good number of people, but half the people, maybe a little more than half.
How many folks think it's more important to have lots of really good friends?
Interestingly split.
So, you actually say there's an answer to this question.
I think it comes back to the quality over quantity thing.
So one best friend is probably going to do you better in terms of your happiness, in terms of your overall life.
There's somebody who knows you, somebody who keeps you honest, someone you're going to listen to.
Look, having friends is good.
I never had a ton of friends, even when I was growing up.
But having that one best friend, I think, really made a huge difference for me.
Now, that's a little startling to tell me, I know.
And I'm not trying to unend the relationships you have, but...
But I gotta say, you mentioned earlier, having someone say that they're happy and knowing that it's true means a lot because you can audit it.
That's why having someone who's almost like a soulmate is so very critical.
In fact, if I have a patient come into my office without someone with them, I will force them to call somebody so I can talk to them on the phone while I'm having the discussion.
And if they still can't find anybody, I'll delay the operation.
This is how much I'm passionate about this.
Delay the operation because if you've gotten to 50 years of age and you don't think anyone loves you so much they care if you survive heart surgery, we gotta challenge that assumption.
I've never failed, never failed at having someone reconnect with someone to be their partner getting through a crisis.
Someone loves you.
Someone loves you.
All right.
Ready for one more question?
You guys were 50-50 in the last one.
I know they're hard.
We all have opinions on these things, but when you have science that can educate us, we ought to know it.
Okay, I'm going to ask you a question.
You think mostly about what you need or what you have?
Audience, who thinks mostly about the things they need, the need group?
All right.
About half.
How many think more about what they actually already have?
Slightly more, but not a difference.
This is actually a trick question.
You know the old quiz about whether the glass is half empty or half full?
It's the same question.
I just phrased it differently.
Sanjay and I came up with this way of needling you guys a little bit.
Look at that little diagram there.
So what we need is actually the glass half empty group.
And what we already have is a glass half full group.
So challenge yourself, challenge people in your life about how you're perceiving things that are happening that are, you know, objectively the same, but we interpret them differently.
Now, Sanjay's research has shown that there are real health benefits to being an optimist.
Please share them.
We know a lot about it.
This used to be in the sort of realm of anecdotal, just stories about it, but there's science now, as you say, behind this.
If, for example, you're an optimist, you are 50% more likely to not have certain types of heart disease, heart attacks, or stroke.
50%.
I mean, there's not a medication or even your talents probably as a heart surgeon that could do that.
I do the opposite sometimes.
You're also more likely to have better scores in terms of your blood glucose and your cholesterol.
Again, you and I have talked about this.
I think we are way over-medicated.
The idea of practicing optimism every day as a true therapy for some of these things, it's huge.
Isn't it startling, gosh?
It's something within all of us.
We can all do this.
And again, you and I both as surgeons are saying this.
Slowing down progression of disease.
So now you've been diagnosed with the disease, perhaps.
Mm-hmm.
It's going to progress at a certain rate, perhaps.
What that rate is can be somewhat within your control as well.
We release certain feel-good hormones, certain hormones that can help fight types of cancers, can decrease the progression of heart disease simply through optimism.
So, you know, those are some of the things.
So I realize that as difficult as these topics are, we're putting more and more meat on them.
There's one last idea you brought up that I'm going to, once again, challenge our audience with.
It has to do with laughter.
You've heard the phrase, laughter is the best medicine, right?
Exactly.
But it actually turns out there's some science behind that.
I mean, it's unbelievable.
Mama's right.
Mama's right.
So what is it?
Well, laughter is the best medicine.
First of all, we know what's happening in the body when someone laughs.
There was a study that I found fascinating.
People who had had a heart attack, and now they're worried about having another heart attack.
People who actually laughed regularly, and they would do everything from just making them laugh, showing them sitcoms, making them watch comedy films, whatever it was.
42% of the people who did not laugh regularly were more likely to go on to have existing heart disease again.
8%.
8%.
So, you know, one-fifth.
In the group that actually laughed regularly, the chance of having a second heart attack.
So it was really a remarkable study.
So one more time, you have one-fifth the chance of having a major heart problem.
A second heart attack.
If you've had one already, one-fifth the chance of having a second one.
If you laugh.
If you're a regular laugher.
That's worth laughing.
That's worth laughing.
Let's do it right now.
You up for it?
All right.
Sanjay came up with this idea, but blame me if you don't like it.
I'll point out as well, it doesn't matter whether you just saw anything funny or not.
Just laughing.
I mean, call it fake laughter, call it whatever you want, but I promise you, as we start laughing, you're not going to be able to help yourself.
It just comes out.
It's in there.
Who's nervous about fake laughter?
Yeah, there are a couple there.
Look at that.
With that candy yellow.
Alright, are you ready?
We're going to put this in the test.
At a count of three, we're going to laugh for three seconds.
Okay?
You're going to start us off?
Alright.
One, two, three.
Cut! - You guys actually made me happy.
You're still laughing.
Isn't that bizarre?
They're still laughing.
All right, when we come back, let me give you the moment.
There are five questions you need to ask yourself.
You don't want to miss this, because you don't want to miss even a minute out of your life.
We'll be right back.
It works!
Later in the show, we all know what happiness means.
So why does it become so complicated when we become adults?
Maybe happiness isn't as complicated as we think.
Get a child's perspective on what it means to be happy.
My mom makes me happy when she tickles me.
Coming up...
Oh, it's getting colder.
The hot new trend in pain management.
It's really cold, actually.
Plus, the ultimate in healing.
And...
So good, my friends.
My wife Lisa reveals secrets from our kitchen.
Super fast, super easy.
All new Oz.
That's coming up on Tuesday.
To find out how the food industry is making changes and how to best shop for your family, check out the October issue of The Good Life.
It's full of ideas to make your life easier.
I hear you.
Your life is pulling you in a million different directions and you're just looking for balance.
That's why I'm kicking off my blueprint for balance and help you get started.
I've got five questions, five questions that can help you be more aware of life as it happens around you.
Natalie Kogan is here.
She's the CEO of Happier.
It's a digital wellness company.
There are a lot of folks out there, myself included, who said, how can I find balance and quiet when I'm just busy trying to get things done in my life?
And I'm a working mom, so I can still relate.
But the thing that we have to recognize is that being present doesn't mean, you know, sitting in a dark room, you know, meditating.
That's one way.
Being present is just paying attention to whatever it is you're doing.
You know, it could be laundry.
It could be chopping vegetables for recipes.
It could be stuck in traffic.
There's actually studies that show it's less about what you're doing that makes you happy than where your mind is.
If you can focus on whatever it is you're doing, you're actually happier that way.
Yeah, it takes you to that zen moment.
I'll see you in one minute.
Great.
So, what we did was come up with five questions that can help folks, myself included, become more mindful in every situation.
I've applied these to my life.
They work for me.
They will work for you.
Question number one, what do I enjoy about this moment, no matter what's happening?
Second question, what can I do to help?
What can I do to give?
Third question, what can I learn from this?
The fourth question, how would I like this to happen next time?
How do you improve on things?
And finally, this actually is a very important one, what is funny about this situation?
Some of the craziest things happen and at least you get a good story out of it.
Think of it that way.
So no matter what negative situation you're in, asking yourself even just one of these questions can turn that negative into a positive.
Now that it works for me, I want to test them out with you.
So I asked Liz, who's a working mom with a two-year-old, to participate.
She says she missed milestones in her daughter's life.
I've missed first words, first steps, the first time she said mama, the first time she said dada, the first time she said I love you, all of that because I've been on my phone.
Recently I was getting Kate ready to go to the park and my phone rang and it was my sister and she wanted to talk and 45 minutes later now we've run out of time to go to the park and I missed fun mommy Kate time because I was distracted by my cell phone.
Liz is here.
She does not have her two-year-old with her.
Thanks for coming.
So we can talk.
Homestick with a cold today.
So when you're with your daughter and that ever-present phone rings, what's your gut reaction?
My gut is don't pick it up.
Don't pick it up.
She's two.
She could get into, you know, but then it could be work.
It could be my mom.
It could be my sister.
It could be my husband.
He works in the evenings.
Is he running late?
What, you know, is it going to affect our dinner schedule?
So I pick it up and usually it's, you know, something that could probably wait, but I, you know, I'm on the phone for 45 minutes and she's often done something great that I've missed, a tumble roll or, you know, first coloring within the lines or something like that.
And it's A moment.
A moment.
And it's gone.
So Natalie, which of those five questions do you think would best be applied when Liz is trying to juggle all these crazy balls?
You know, the thing I would ask myself is what can I learn from this moment, right?
And as you're talking, what I'm thinking about is you can learn you have a choice.
You actually have a choice.
And as you said, and sometimes the choice is you've got to answer the phone.
You know, maybe it's your husband calling.
But then be present with that choice.
And maybe I'm a working mom as well, so I can so relate to this.
My daughter's a little older.
But you've made that choice.
And be okay with it.
And sometimes recognize that what you can learn is you have a choice to not answer it and be there with your daughter.
And the other thing to think about is what you can learn is, sure, first time walking or coloring within the lines.
I remember those moments.
They're amazing.
But any moment can be really beautiful and special as long as you're there for it.
So it could be as simple as, you know, going for a walk with her from one room to the other.
I remember doing this with my kiddo.
But if you're there and not on the phone and running around, that's actually a really special moment.
You have a rule of thumb that I'd love you to share if you don't mind.
This is for everybody who's going to make that decision to answer the phone or play with the child.
The way I start to think about is two things, focus and honesty.
So the first thing I think of is, what is the more important thing I need to focus on right now?
And sometimes it's answering the phone.
And I'll actually say to my daughter, I'll say, listen, mom has got to take this call.
And sometimes it's being with her.
And I'll actually sometimes let it go or pick up the phone and say, hey, listen, I'm with my daughter right now.
Can I call you back?
And just picking one thing to focus and being really honest with yourself and with others about it really helps me kind of be peaceful about that choice.
At least you don't have the guilt.
What do you think?
Could you see yourself asking some of those questions?
I could see myself trying to remember through the chaos of having a two-year-old to ask myself those questions and make myself realize, okay, what's more important?
You know, if it's important, maybe they'll leave a message and I can check it when I have a second.
If it's not important, you know, they won't leave a message and then I didn't miss the moment that could have been so precious to me for the rest of our lives together.
What I'm hearing is take the guilt away.
What do you do personally to stay balanced?
So there's one thing that I do every day that's my favorite thing, is I write down three small things that I appreciate about my day.
And it could be the smallest things, you know, I had a great cup of coffee this morning, or traffic wasn't as bad as I thought, or my daughter hugged me when I came home.
And that simple practice of gratitude, you know, there are studies that show it's really powerful.
It helps you be more optimistic, more productive, helps you sleep better.
And the thing that I think it makes you realize is that if you're present for the moments in your life, then every day, even the really bad ones, can find something good about it.
You know what I did over the summer, I spilled my death down a little bit, which takes a lot of effort on my part.
And I started looking, and it happens mostly in uncomfortable situations, for what the deeper lesson was there.
Yeah.
What are the ideas that might come out of that experience that I could at least share with others to get something positive out of it?
And oftentimes I find these incredible experiences that I would never have been privy to.
I wouldn't have paid attention to because life was going along nicely.
In the fast way.
Yeah, exactly.
And you know, when the engine's purring of your life, you don't pay attention to it.
When you start hearing clinks and clanks, then paying attention teaches you much more about that whole experience because it's happening to you anyway.
Thank you very much.
I appreciate both of you being here.
When we come back, you think you're having a hard time defining happily?
Well, wait until you see how these seven-year-olds define it.
That's next.
Later, your relationship is great, so why all the weight gain?
You eat when you're happy.
You eat because you're happy, and you eat to get happy.
I have no problem with all that chocolate.
I'm with it.
Your happiness could be the reason you're packing it on.
Embracing Your Happy Pounds is coming up.
All New Oz, the short-burst diet.
It's only five days a month.
For women who can't stick to a long-term plan.
But is it safe?
We break it all down.
And what happens when real women try one-size-fits-all clothing?
Okay, ladies.
This thing is tiny!
Funny lady Jenny Poulos and I team up for a hilarious social experiment.
All New Oz.
That's coming up on Monday.
Today's conversation, how do you define happy?
Today I introduced my Blueprint for Balance Plan.
It's a year-long project to get your life balanced.
And we kicked off the series with being mindful of the moment.
So, it got me thinking.
As adults, we all know what happy means, but what does happy mean to the most clear-minded and perceptive of all of us?
The kids.
Take a look at what these seven and eight year olds had to say.
Happiness is basically a good feeling.
It kind of tickles.
It feels like a good thing to be.
The color of happiness to me is very that's why I'm wearing it.
What do you think is happiness?
When you spend time with your family.
When you're like doing something that makes you happy.
Jumping around like I usually do.
Music makes me happy because I like dancing.
Smiling, laughing, giggling.
My mom makes me happy when she tickles me.
When we spend time together.
Yeah, like in circle time.
Happiness is really about love.
If you had somebody to love, you would always be happy.
When I'm happy, I want that happiness to go forever.
I think happy is like the number one feeling.
Yeah.
We're happy now!
Maybe happiness isn't as complicated as we think.
Wasn't that pretty cool hearing them say that?
And you always laugh at the macaroni line and mom hugging you and you want to last forever.
It's as simple as a song sometimes.
You hold on a song, when you're happy and you know it, clap your hands.
When you're happy and you know it, clap your hands.
I don't know the rest of the words, but I force the kids to sing when I'm with them, which they still get mad about, but it makes me happy, and I think it makes them happy and brings memories.
So simple little moments like that, which is what the show's about.
So who has been, be honest in the audience, who has been in a relationship and gained happy pounds?
Those pounds, huh?
What are happy pounds like for you?
My happy pounds?
Yes.
I wish I didn't have them, because I'm really happy, but you know what?
He loves me the way I am, so I guess that's okay, right?
Not only is it okay, there's a reason for it, and when we come back, we're gonna find out how to embrace those happy pounds.
Stay right here.
Ah, yes.
Woo!
Next, is one of the pitfalls of falling in love.
Happy Pals.
Have you gained weight after getting into a relationship?
And coming up later, your blueprint for balance scorecard.
Track your progress and see how you can get a chance to be on our show.
Coming up.
Whoever said a doctor's visit isn't fun has obviously never been to the Dr. Oz show.
Is that right?
Make your appointment today.
Go to DrOz.com slash tickets and sign up for free tickets.
Woo!
Woo!
It's time to chill out.
Oh, it's getting colder.
The hot new trend in pain management.
I'm going to be the human guinea pig and test this baby out.
It's really cold, actually.
Plus, the ultimate in healing.
I'm getting into this thing to see how it works.
And it's a family affair.
So good, my friends.
My wife Lisa reveals secrets from our kitchen.
Super fast, super easy.
And Daphne's hanging out, too.
All new Oz.
That's coming up on Tuesday.
They're the new freshman 15.
We're calling them happy pals.
Otherwise, no one has Love Chubb, or as actress Lauren Conrad from the Hills coined it, the dreaded boyfriend lair.
They all know what they are.
Who here has gained some Happy Pounds?
Show of hands up there.
Who's in a relationship that maybe got a little comfortable and enjoyed themselves with it?
Go ahead.
Yes, I've definitely gained some Love Pounds.
You have?
Yes, maybe 20, 25. Is it his fault?
Well, I wouldn't say his fault.
Well, it's not about fault.
Actually, there's lots of interesting things about love pounds.
Go ahead up there.
Yeah, I think that once you're in a good mood with a good person, that you definitely like to eat.
And my husband and I like to eat.
Yeah.
Well, it happens to all of us.
It's fun.
Here's the thing.
Why do we pack on the pounds when we're happy?
Those relationships do seem to change us.
So we checked in with some very special newlyweds to find out.
Reggie and I met when I was asked to speak at a natural hair and health expo.
I saw him there, I thought, oh, Officer Reggie!
When I saw Kim, I made a little bit of eye contact and it was just like that little something in the back of my head that said, that's the one.
We haven't even known each other a year.
We went to have dinner at the Olive Garden and Reggie excused himself.
A few minutes later, the maitre d' came and started singing to me and the next thing I know, Reggie's down on one knee and asking me to marry him.
I didn't even have a ring because it was spur of the moment.
We got married.
It was an extravaganza.
When I saw Kim coming down the aisle, I cried.
New relationships, new marriage, you get off track.
You're happy, you're eating more, and it's kind of hard to find balance.
He does not ever say, you're gaining weight.
Here's what he'll say.
You're sitting behind the computer too long.
It's time for us to get up and move.
When we do things like hike or even cooking together, it gives us a chance to have more of a bonding.
I'm happy that I found someone who loves me as I am.
Kim Coles is here for the first time with her new husband, Reggie.
Come on out, Kim and Reggie.
- You're dancing, you're dancing, you're dancing.
I love it. - Hey.
This is Reggie.
Reggie, you have very good taste in women.
Congratulations.
Thank you, thank you.
And condolences at the same time.
Thank you, thank you.
Keep her company.
You literally just got married.
We just got married.
You must be on your way to a honeymoon or something.
We just had a honeymoon part one and now we're off to honeymoon part two.
We stopped in New York just for you.
Well, thank you very much.
Reggie, this is how you can tell that you're right in a relationship, when they interrupt their honeymoon for you.
Yeah, that's right.
Yeah, I know.
So what's the best part about being married to Reggie?
The best part is having great companionship that is your soulmate.
So it's not just the guy around the house, it's the guy that I'm supposed to be with for the rest of my life.
And it's great companionship.
Now, while you guys are waiting backstage, I had a very honest conversation with a few members of our audience who say that when they're in happy relationships, they feel comfortable, they're celebrating, and they sometimes eat a bit more.
Why does that happen?
You know what it is?
I think you're comfortable.
I think you're happy.
I think that food is a celebration, especially in our society.
You eat when you're happy.
You eat because you're happy and you eat to get happy.
All at once.
All at the same time.
And in our case, we dated long distance.
And so once we were together on a regular basis, we spent a lot of time dating and going to restaurants and having dessert.
And more dessert.
You know, I looked into this, and I didn't realize it, but it turns out that when you're happy eating, it's also a type of emotional eating.
The difference is, folks who are happy and emotionally eat, well, they overindulge while they're having a good time, whereas unhappy bingers tend to do it when they're alone.
They shut themselves away.
They isolate themselves.
So it's very different, but it's still part of the emotional eating spectrum.
So the question then becomes, what do you do about it?
So when we talk about weight gain, a lot of the angst that women have has to do with the people they love and how they see them.
So Reggie, what do you say to Kim when she mentions some of the happy pounds she's gaining with you, and maybe because of you?
First of all, what I always say to her is, I didn't marry you for your weight.
I married you for who you are.
And I think...
And...
I think so many people fall in love with the image instead of the image.
And when we learn how to fall in love with the person for who they are on the inside, everything else comes with it.
You know, you're more eloquent than most guys, but it is what most men feel.
You don't believe me, but I'm telling you, ask the men in your life, you may worry about your happy pounds, but the men in your life don't.
They're probably happy just the way you are.
We actually married you because of who you are.
At least the smart ones of us did figure that out.
So we're so worried about it and trying to lose weight to look good for him, and the truth is, I like you just like you are.
And it actually sabotages your ability to lose weight when you're doing it for that reason.
So when we come back, they've got a plan to embrace your happy pounds.
Stay right here.
Later, a personal check place to keep your life balance in check.
All New Oz, the short-burst diet.
It's only five days a month.
For women who can't stick to a long-term plan.
But is it safe?
We break it all down.
And what happens when real women try one-size-fits-all clothing?
Okay, ladies.
This thing is tiny!
Funny lady Jenny Poulos and I team up for a hilarious social experiment.
All new eyes.
That's coming up on Monday.
Today we're embracing happy pounds.
Newlyweds Kim Coles and Reggie McIver are back and we've got some couples here in the audience who have first-hand experience with a partner who has gained some Happy Pounds.
We'll start with Courtney and Joseph.
They've been together for three years.
This is a picture of them.
This is the before version.
Take a look at this if you don't mind.
Dashingly handsome.
That's when you first met.
So Courtney, may I ask about Happy Pounds in your case?
Happy pounds were happy pounds until I noticed that they were happy pounds.
Things got a little bit too snug on me.
So that's why I was like, something is wrong.
And then I realized, oh, I was happy.
I'm having a good time.
I'm eating.
I'm enjoying myself.
And did Joseph join you on this happy pounds adventure?
Absolutely.
He's paid for it.
I certainly have.
I certainly have.
I'm a slave to junk food, and I adore junk food with a passion to the point where I've taught myself how to make it.
So I will consume cakes, ice cream cookies, and donuts like it's nothing.
So I've got to ask you a sort of awkward question, but since I brought up earlier, what do you think of your wife's new body with the Happy Pounce?
Oh, I have no problem with all that chocolate.
I'm with it.
All that chocolate.
I love it.
So, Kim, you and Reggie have been dealing with this.
If it is newlyweds, it's going to come up more and more in your lives.
What advice do you have to give?
Well, you know, Reggie has this wonderful conversation around not lose.
If I mention something about wanting to lose weight, he says, no, let's just be healthy and let's do it together.
Right, Reg?
Yeah, that's all right.
And we do things together as a couple.
Before I was a weightlifter and Kim did her own thing.
But now that we're together, we found out knacks such as hiking.
You can always catch it in the mountains and hills and doing things like that.
And that tends to help a lot more when you can enjoy doing something together.
That's why.
And I think it makes you happy.
And then I don't think it's about losing weight.
It's about being healthy.
Or in my case, taking the pressure off my knees.
Or just, it's a different conversation.
I saw you when you walked in.
You're very curvaceous.
And what man wouldn't be happy with all that chocolate?
Good answer.
But I think also a woman who's happy with herself, too.
If you believe it.
Reggie, you always said this to me.
That if you love yourself, then you're going to love me, too.
You say it better than me.
I find out...
The world is going to treat you how you treat yourself.
And if you love you, then...
You should never accept nothing less from anybody else.
If they can't love you better than what you love yourself, then you don't need them.
That's right.
You got a philosopher here.
You married a philosopher.
I did a good job.
You actually wanted to find out more about this.
You put up a poll on our website, and we asked, to 5 to 10 pounds change how attracted you are to your partner.
More than half of all of you said, no.
I agree.
To me, you can sum it up with this very popular internet meme.
Watch it, you're going to like this now.
Courtney, especially you.
Any man can drive straight, but it takes a real man to handle curves.
Well, all right!
Spread that around.
You can watch Kim Coles in our new backstage video series at Scooby-A-DrOz.com.
Up next, we've created a blueprint for a balance scorecard that allows you to track your progress on your journey towards balance.
We reveal it next.
We are bringing a healthy back this season.
I want you to bring it too.
Grab your prescription pad for fun and sign up for free tickets today.
You can go to dros.com slash tickets and sign up.
It's time to chill out.
Oh, it's getting colder.
The hot new trend in pain management.
I'm going to be the human guinea pig and test this baby out.
It's really cold, actually.
Plus, the ultimate in healing.
I'm getting into this thing to see how it works.
And it's a family affair.
So good, my friends.
My wife Lisa reveals secrets from our kitchen.
Super fast, super easy.
And Daphne's hanging out, too.
All new Oz.
That's coming up on Tuesday.
Tomorrow you'll be talking about the Blueprint for Balance scorecard.
There she is, beautiful as she can be, where you can try new behaviors and track your progress.
It starts off with basic benefits of optimism.
How to laugh for every five seconds makes a difference.
Five questions is really important to help you be mindful.
We talked about happy pounds.
You don't have to be ashamed of them.
If you're happy, sometimes it's worth it, and we're Got a little quiz here to help you figure out how much is okay for you.
And we got the secrets of those happy kids because they are highly happy.
Most kids are.
And I want you to track your progress.
Listen, we can put some meat on the bones of this.
Happiness is contagious.
Share this scorecard.
Give people concrete steps to find happiness and they'll do it with you.
You can find the blueprint scorecard for balance at DrOz.com.
You can post your progress on my Facebook page.
Send it to me any way you want for a chance to be featured on my show.
Thanks for joining me today.
And remember, health and happiness starts at home.
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