NXR Podcast - THE LIVESTREAM - Modern Women Are DONE Dating | Are Men To Blame?
Aired: 2025-06-25
Duration: 01:54:55


=== Honest Blame and Strengths (02:37) ===

[00:00:00]  Leave us a five star review on your favorite podcast platform.
[00:00:04]  I get it.
[00:00:04]  It's annoying.
[00:00:05]  Everybody asks, but I'm going to tell you why.
[00:00:07]  When you give us a positive review, what that does is it triggers the algorithm so that our podcast shows up on more people's news feeds.
[00:00:16]  You and I both know that this ministry is willing to talk about things that most ministries aren't.
[00:00:21]  We need this content for the glory of God to reach more people's ears.
[00:00:30]  Women have checked out of dating.
[00:00:32]  Are men to blame?
[00:00:33]  This episode is brought to you by our premier sponsors, Armored Republic and Reese Fund, as well as our Patreon members and our generous donors.
[00:00:42]  You can join our Patreon by going to patreon.com forward slash right response ministries, or you can make a donation today by going to right response ministries.com forward slash donate.
[00:00:55]  Again, the title of this episode is Women Are Checking Out of Dating Are Men to Blame?
[00:01:01]  Spoiler alert Yes.
[00:01:04]  But maybe not as much as women.
[00:01:06]  Battle of the sexes doesn't necessarily help us, doesn't really solve any of our problems.
[00:01:13]  Yet at the same time, building a house of peace on a foundation of lies will not solve the problem either.
[00:01:21]  We do need to be honest.
[00:01:22]  We need to be honest about strengths, we need to be honest about weaknesses, and we need to be honest about who to blame for what and to what degree.
[00:01:32]  Tune in now.
[00:01:42]  GA, GA, GA.
[00:01:44]  Good afternoon.
[00:01:44]  GA.
[00:01:45]  We finally got some good coordination going on.
[00:01:47]  The other live stream was blue, blue, black.
[00:01:50]  We looked like a bruise.
[00:01:51]  Now it's two blue, nice green in the middle.
[00:01:53]  The fact that you even remember what we were wearing days ago.
[00:01:57]  I remember because for two and a half hours, getting to look at a feed of badly matching skins.
[00:02:02]  Okay, all right.
[00:02:02]  All right.
[00:02:03]  Okay, so we are back.
[00:02:04]  Michael Belch is still out of the studio.
[00:02:06]  He's traveling.
[00:02:07]  We have Antonio for those who are joining us for the first time.
[00:02:09]  So Antonio is to my left, and then we also have Wesley Todd to my right.
[00:02:14]  I'm Pastor Joel Webbin.
[00:02:15]  We're glad to be with you.
[00:02:16]  And we're going to be, I think, right out of the gate, we should show just an absolutely atrocious clip from two women who should not be giving counsel or advice to anyone.
[00:02:29]  I think probably they should be locked up.
[00:02:32]  But I think we should start with a clip.
[00:02:35]  And this is what's the name of it, Antonio?
[00:02:36]  This show?

=== Wedding Planning Neurosis (15:19) ===

[00:02:37]  Call Her Daddy.
[00:02:39]  Is this the one that Kamala went on?
[00:02:41]  I think so.
[00:02:41]  Yeah.
[00:02:41]  A number of politicians, I think, have been on that.
[00:02:44]  Terror.
[00:02:45]  Over the last.
[00:02:45]  Well, it's the most listened to podcast by women.
[00:02:47]  So you break it down and like the podcast that women listen to most is this train wreck.
[00:02:53]  Absolute garbage.
[00:02:54]  Okay.
[00:02:54]  So we're going to play a clip and then we're going to go over some articles because, Wes, you've pulled up in our preparation for this an article from the New York Times.
[00:03:02]  Yes.
[00:03:02]  That's great.
[00:03:03]  That talks about some really shocking and really sad statistics of where we're at today and what we're anticipating in the very near future.
[00:03:14]  Just to kind of, I don't know.
[00:03:16]  Prime the pump a little bit.
[00:03:17]  One of the statistics I think was women from 25, ages 25 to 44, that 45% of them would be married or single, having never married and childless.
[00:03:27]  By 2030, that's a Bloomberg estimate.
[00:03:30]  Yeah, so in five years, 45%, almost half, of women between the ages of 25 and 44 will have never married and be childless.
[00:03:40]  And just for everybody out there who's not necessarily a professional scientist, 44%.
[00:03:48]  You're done in terms of having kids.
[00:03:50]  I mean, like the ship has sailed.
[00:03:52]  You are not going to be a mother.
[00:03:54]  We're not talking 10 to 44 either.
[00:03:56]  25 prime childbearing years to 44.
[00:03:58]  Yeah.
[00:03:59]  So we're going to get into that article, some of the stats.
[00:04:01]  We've got some other things that we've pulled for the episode, but let's go ahead and start with the clip.
[00:04:05]  Here we go.
[00:04:06]  And I genuinely believe for you, Lauren.
[00:04:08]  Like, I'm so happy that you lived with him.
[00:04:11]  I'm so happy that you went all the way to the point of seeing yourself in a dress with a ring, all of it.
[00:04:18]  Because now we talk about this a lot of like, I can't wait to see the person that you meet next because you are a better person because of that past relationship.
[00:04:28]  Oh, like, thank God you met him.
[00:04:30]  And like, there's things that, oh, my therapist used to say, every person you date gets you one step closer to the person you're supposed to marry.
[00:04:37]  And like, there's things that I would have no idea that I did not like and that I definitely need.
[00:04:44]  Yeah.
[00:04:44]  And that like trigger me.
[00:04:46]  And I feel like I just like know myself a lot more now.
[00:04:50]  And so, technically, though, think about this, Daddy Gang, if we're doing the math, although maybe you would be engaged right now and planning a wedding, we have talked about like now knowing how much there was breaking down, there's a chance either one, you would have been in a really pretty unfulfilling, unhappy marriage, which could have ended in divorce.
[00:05:12]  Now you're still so much closer, though, to just pure happiness of finding your person.
[00:05:20]  And I think that should hold.
[00:05:23]  A lot of hope in a lot of people's minds if you're about to end something or this episode is helping you think about reevaluating do you want to take that next step?
[00:05:31]  While yes, the next step seems super straightforward and easy, if you're not 100% in knowing that's the right next step, you're then going to have to take a lot of back steps once you go forward.
[00:05:46]  Not great.
[00:05:47]  Incredibly hard to listen.
[00:05:48]  You're a hero for finding that, doing the Lord's work.
[00:05:52]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:05:53]  So, I mean, just some context to that clip there.
[00:05:57]  So, this is the host of the Caller Daddy podcast talking with, I believe, her co host or good friend, whatever the case is.
[00:06:04]  About her experience in being engaged, getting up to just about being married.
[00:06:10]  I think it was toward the end of the engagement, and then calling off the engagement.
[00:06:15]  And I don't know the specific reasons, but I think we can, from the context, gather the clues that it's something around a lack of fulfillment or a lack of self actualization, being compatibility.
[00:06:32]  The compatibility.
[00:06:34]  Things that I need.
[00:06:35]  Right, right.
[00:06:36]  Not just things she wants, but things she wants.
[00:06:37]  And so, what we hear from the clip is the host saying, You know, I actually think that was good for you.
[00:06:44]  I think, you know, having that experience, being very close to being married, assuming this woman is late 20s, maybe early 20s.
[00:06:51]  She was like, You feel engaged right now and planning your wedding.
[00:06:54]  And she pauses, kind of like, Yeah.
[00:06:56]  It's like almost like she realizes it's like, Yeah, that would have been great.
[00:06:59]  Right.
[00:07:00]  But there's other things really good too.
[00:07:01]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:07:02]  Almost.
[00:07:02]  And so, turning it, there's this like turning it into a positive thing.
[00:07:07]  And saying, hey, no, this is actually great because now you know a little bit more about yourself and what you're looking for.
[00:07:13]  And so I think it's great that this happened.
[00:07:16]  And now we can tell more women about how important these experiences are that every person you date is bringing you closer and closer to your soulmate, let's put it that way, right?
[00:07:28]  And so, where you'll find 100% satisfaction in that person, no red flags, nothing to be concerned about, no need for sanctification in that person.
[00:07:38]  And of course, celebrating this is, it's, it's, It's tragic because you're it is the worst lie to tell women that you will ever find someone that is perfect.
[00:07:48]  You won't, right?
[00:07:49]  You will, you need to be 100% on them.
[00:07:51]  She said, 100% confident.
[00:07:54]  I wasn't even 100% sure I wanted what I had for breakfast this morning.
[00:07:57]  A little bit of like, could we improve this?
[00:07:59]  Could we take this away?
[00:08:01]  But think about that with women's psychology for a moment.
[00:08:03]  So you think of the big five psychology traits openness, conscientiousness, extroversion, agreeableness, and neuroticism.
[00:08:10]  I have a degree, it's kind of like a mix of psych and biology.
[00:08:14]  But those are the big five character traits that most people are kind of a balance of.
[00:08:17]  And women, by their nature, are tuned to neuroticism.
[00:08:21]  And neuroticism is negative thinking.
[00:08:22]  Now, that's not actually a bad thing.
[00:08:24]  So that's not saying, like, look at women, they're anxious.
[00:08:26]  Look at them, they have negative thoughts.
[00:08:28]  Women are actually that way, I would say, by God's design, because they're looking and warding off and protecting children.
[00:08:34]  So they have a very narrow domain.
[00:08:37]  But that domain is incredibly important.
[00:08:39]  It's the home, it's vulnerable children.
[00:08:41]  So when your wife, you know, the kid's not eating very well, not sleeping great, and she's kind of up worried.
[00:08:47]  That's not a bad thing.
[00:08:48]  Praise God for the women that do that and kind of have that mama bear instinct, so to speak.
[00:08:53]  But you take that neuroticism, good in the home, good with children.
[00:08:57]  She's watching out, she's careful.
[00:08:59]  My wife is always going to the grocery store and stuff, and she's like, look out for this person, look out.
[00:09:03]  But you take that and you apply that too.
[00:09:05]  Now take that negativity, and you need to parse every man you'll potentially date through that.
[00:09:10]  You need to parse every relationship, everything he said, every disagreement you had, every maybe he felt like he blew you off.
[00:09:17]  Now you need to take that and look at it negatively.
[00:09:20]  And think the worst.
[00:09:22]  You would never find someone.
[00:09:24]  You literally could find a fault with the perfect man.
[00:09:27]  And so these women out here are telling the biggest women's podcast, hey, you need to be 100%.
[00:09:32]  It's literally incompatible.
[00:09:34]  Yeah.
[00:09:35]  And you can get into the situation where you're the granularity of distinctions between you and the person you're dating or the person you're seeking to marry is, I don't, he doesn't like the same shows as me.
[00:09:47]  He doesn't like, he doesn't like the same kind of music as me.
[00:09:50]  And so you get this, you know, this majoring on the minors sort of situation in dating where it's like, you know, I, I, I need to like everything that this person likes.
[00:10:04]  And they need to like, more importantly, for these kinds of women, they need to like everything that I like.
[00:10:10]  And anything short of that is me compromising.
[00:10:13]  Right.
[00:10:13]  Yeah.
[00:10:14]  A lot of women are looking for a woman.
[00:10:16]  That's part of the problem.
[00:10:17]  I think, you know, as this gal is speaking, it's funny to me, the irony, because it's like what she's wanting and what she's kind of hinting at is what's sitting underneath a blanket on the other side of the couch from her during the podcast.
[00:10:32]  Like that's, you know, and the reality is that that's not.
[00:10:36]  Men are not women.
[00:10:37]  And a lot of women have been so, you know, they have the confirmation bias and so reinforced and reassured by women that it's this unnatural interim period that we have in modern Western civilization of leaving the household, leaving your father as a caretaker, as a provider, as an authority, and someone who provides guidance.
[00:11:03]  And then having this prolonged period of time that now is stretched, this adolescence has been perpetuated and stretched to.
[00:11:09]  Not just five years, but 10 years, 15 years.
[00:11:12]  I mean, you're leaving the house for a lot of these young women at 18 years old and not getting married till 30.
[00:11:17]  And as we, you know, I've already discussed and we'll see more, half of them, you know, don't even get married at the age of 44.
[00:11:24]  But let's just say they get married at 30, that's still 12 years.
[00:11:28]  So who are you with for those 12 years?
[00:11:30]  Who's shaping you?
[00:11:31]  Who's reinforcing you?
[00:11:32]  Who's guiding you?
[00:11:33]  Not a father and not a husband because you're not married yet.
[00:11:37]  So who is it?
[00:11:39]  It's other women.
[00:11:40]  And so you're being.
[00:11:42]  You're being programmed by other women in what you should be looking for and how you should be thinking and what a man who actually loves you would actually look like and what he should be like and all these things.
[00:11:55]  And it's just kind of reinforcing.
[00:11:58]  And notice you could say the same thing about men and say, well, men go through this same interim period where they leave the home before they're getting married.
[00:12:06]  So they're leaving that womanly touch of their mother, but they haven't yet taken a wife.
[00:12:13]  Um, yeah, and uh, and there are challenges and things that could be said about that, but uh, it is not as uh, it doesn't have as negative as of an impact.
[00:12:22]  And one of the reasons why is because one difference between men and women is that uh, men correct each other, women do not.
[00:12:30]  Women reinforce each other, affirm each other, they affirm each other, even when they're doing stupid and retarded things.
[00:12:36]  So, so in this situation, for all we know, um, this guy was great.
[00:12:41]  Now, I mean, he probably wasn't great because a great guy wouldn't date this woman, but.
[00:12:46]  You get what I'm saying.
[00:12:47]  Relatively speaking, this guy could have been, you know, at least morally better, a better guy than her.
[00:12:54]  It would have been a step up in her case.
[00:12:57]  A good, hardworking, committed man.
[00:12:59]  Right.
[00:13:00]  But immediately, what's being said?
[00:13:01]  So, as far as we know, she ruined a good thing.
[00:13:04]  She actually, you know, she could have gotten to the finish line.
[00:13:06]  She could be married or planning a wedding now, soon to be married, get to be a mother, all these kinds of things.
[00:13:12]  And she blew it up.
[00:13:13]  As far as we know, she ended the relationship.
[00:13:16]  And what is she immediately told by another woman, by one of her female friends?
[00:13:20]  This is so good for you.
[00:13:23]  Like, that's what women do they incessantly worry about everything.
[00:13:27]  So, what you were saying earlier, Wes, that's true.
[00:13:29]  And a godly woman is going to fight against sinful worry, right?
[00:13:33]  To be anxious for nothing but with prayer and supplication to make her requests known to the Lord.
[00:13:38]  But she is going to have that sick sense of that spidey sense of danger because she's wired by God in her creation.
[00:13:48]  She's wired by God to be sensitive to dangers and threats in order to, like, a A mother hen brood over the nest and protect her very vulnerable children.
[00:13:58]  That's her domain.
[00:13:59]  That's her role.
[00:14:00]  That's her place.
[00:14:02]  And so, on the one hand, women can be, you know, they can have a tendency towards worry.
[00:14:06]  On the other hand, though, because they do tend towards worry in terms of their self analyzing, women have, it's like this opposite effect.
[00:14:17]  It's this catch 22.
[00:14:18]  So, a woman will worry about herself incessantly.
[00:14:21]  Did I do the right thing?
[00:14:22]  But then, every woman around her will do the exact opposite.
[00:14:26]  We're Everything, no matter how stupid of a decision that woman just made, every woman around her is just silver lining, silver lining, silver lining.
[00:14:36]  So, whether it's, I was about to get engaged to an incredible man and I made the whole thing blow up in his face and called it off.
[00:14:45]  I'm so happy for you.
[00:14:47]  You go, girl.
[00:14:47]  She could have also said, I got mad at my dog and I stabbed him in the heart with a knife and killed him.
[00:14:54]  And I guarantee this woman sitting on the other side of the couch would analyze and be.
[00:14:58]  Yeah, but you know what?
[00:14:59]  That shows a lot of courage and a lot of bravery.
[00:15:03]  And that's what women do, especially godless, unchristian, non-Christian women.
[00:15:08]  And so I think to have this prolonged period, my point is to have this prolonged period in between childhood, being underneath the headship of their father, and then marriage, headship of a husband, for that to be 12 years in many cases.
[00:15:24]  That's not even an extreme case, 18 to 30 years old, over a decade.
[00:15:29]  Where there's no real authority being exercised and there's no male presence that's there.
[00:15:35]  And it's just female peers who are just as blind as you are, the blind leading the blind, reinforcing every one of your decisions, no matter how bad it is, trying to somehow tweak it and twist it to where actually that's the best decision that anyone's ever made.
[00:15:51]  And I'm so proud of you and I'm so happy for you.
[00:15:56]  That is a terrible, terrible decision.
[00:16:00]  Those are the ingredients for disaster.
[00:16:03]  Yeah.
[00:16:04]  Yeah.
[00:16:04]  You see them reaching the same, you know, the wrong conclusion by consensus.
[00:16:08]  Right.
[00:16:09]  Right.
[00:16:09]  Which is, hey, the more people you date, the more prepared you are for marriage.
[00:16:16]  And it's like, well, no, that's actually precisely the opposite of what men look for in wives.
[00:16:23]  Yeah.
[00:16:24]  What young man is out there?
[00:16:25]  It's like, you lived with how many men previously?
[00:16:27]  That many?
[00:16:29]  Awesome.
[00:16:29]  You were just shaped and molded into the perfect spouse for me.
[00:16:33]  Yeah, yeah, by 10 different men that you lived in their homes.
[00:16:36]  Right.
[00:16:36]  Most men, and they should rightfully so, they hate that.
[00:16:39]  Like, you need to hear that.
[00:16:40]  And I don't want to be insensitive to women that have a past before Christ.
[00:16:44]  But practically speaking, that advice, like, oh, you slept around and you lived, cohabitated, and you got close to divorce, men hear that and they just think of other men she's dated and been with.
[00:16:54]  She's less, has less value, practically, honestly, naturally speaking.
[00:16:59]  Obviously, it's Christians, there's an element of faith there.
[00:17:01]  But practically speaking, if we're thinking about the institution of marriage, she's not elevating, not like her co host said, going through these experiences and learning more.
[00:17:10]  She's decreasing her value.
[00:17:11]  And even practically a big one is age.
[00:17:14]  One of the saddest things, and Christian men do this too, and if you're doing it, it's wrong, is they'll play in the middle ground for two years.
[00:17:21]  So, they'll start dating a woman and they'll have fun, right?
[00:17:23]  They'll go to Disneyland, they'll go out to dinner, but he'll never really commit to marrying her.
[00:17:28]  And so she's there and she's 20, she's 25, she's 27.
[00:17:32]  And she's like, I want to have children, I want to have a home, I really like you.
[00:17:37]  And she's asking him to commit.
[00:17:38]  So she's like, Are you going to propose?
[00:17:40]  Are you going to do this?
[00:17:41]  And he's always throwing up excuses, well, with my job and career, or I just really want to make sure men take this narrative.
[00:17:47]  I really want to make sure that she's the one.
[00:17:49]  And I've known these women, they'll go through a three year relationship, and at the very end of it, He goes, I'm sorry, I'm not ready to commit.
[00:17:55]  And she has to call it off.

=== Women's Value Decline (14:21) ===

[00:17:57]  But at that point, you have three years, two years, three years, four years sunk into a relationship.
[00:18:03]  And even if you weren't immoral, so say you weren't even immoral at all, practically speaking, you just lost three years of your life as far as building a family, building a home, having children.
[00:18:12]  That is a terrible, unloving thing to do to a sister in Christ.
[00:18:17]  If you're dating, the intention of it is it's not to hang out, it's to aim towards marriage.
[00:18:22]  But none of that means it has to happen in two months, but it certainly needs to happen, at least a commitment.
[00:18:26]  Before two years, because otherwise you are burning people's youth.
[00:18:30]  Right.
[00:18:30]  Yep.
[00:18:30]  You're burning time.
[00:18:31]  And it's precious for all of us because life is a fleeting vapor, right?
[00:18:38]  It's like the dew of the grass.
[00:18:40]  It's here today and gone by afternoon.
[00:18:43]  And so, yeah.
[00:18:44]  So, you know, momentum more, more, like remembering our death that we must die.
[00:18:50]  And so, recognizing that we're finite, recognizing that our lives are relatively short.
[00:18:55]  That's true of both men and women, but especially true, I think, is what you're saying, Wes.
[00:18:59]  In the case of women, Um, because when it comes to their strength and fertility, especially with childbearing and these kinds of things, it is a very, very small window of life, and even not just childbearing but even child rearing.
[00:19:14]  My wife and I, we talk about this all the time.
[00:19:16]  You know, we're right in the thick of it with five children, you know, all the way from seven to seven months, and so we have five young children.
[00:19:25]  And I'm constantly reminding her, and she agrees, you know, but uh, reminding her.
[00:19:31]  That in the whole scheme of things in our lives, it'll be like between the oldest child to the youngest child.
[00:19:40]  It'll probably be about 25 years, give or take, that window of life.
[00:19:44]  And if we each live to be 85 years old, even if we're 75, it's only a third of your life having children in the home.
[00:19:51]  And it's like one of the most precious moments, seasons of life to have children in your home.
[00:19:59]  And it's not like the vast majority of your life, it's not even half of your life.
[00:20:04]  It's a third at best of our already fleeting short lives.
[00:20:09]  And so to postpone that and to put that on the back burner is absolutely foolish.
[00:20:18]  But you're right.
[00:20:19]  The idea of like, well, you're one step closer.
[00:20:22]  Statistically speaking, with each man that a woman dates, she's one step further.
[00:20:29]  She's one step further in terms of her past and things that men are, it's not going to be viewed as a virtue.
[00:20:36]  It's not going to be viewed as a Positive, but then also she's just now a little bit older.
[00:20:42]  And so you're just, you know, she's going to be less desirable at 30 than she is at 23.
[00:20:51]  Yeah.
[00:20:52]  And that's just the facts.
[00:20:54]  And biologically, it's kind of an uncomfortable fact, but it's true.
[00:20:57]  The earlier a woman has children, the easier that labor and that pregnancy and her subsequent ones are.
[00:21:02]  And sometimes I'll lovingly challenge Christian men that have been married like two, three years, like even practically speaking, they're like, well, we're already married.
[00:21:10]  We're living together, we're building a home.
[00:21:12]  Yeah, but even as far as children, God has put in biological reasons that a couple should come together.
[00:21:17]  If you do nothing to the process, you'll have children.
[00:21:20]  And that in itself is easier, it's healthier, there's less wear and tear on the body.
[00:21:24]  So, even practically, God's built into nature.
[00:21:27]  The order of it should be to marry and ideally marry young, early 20s would be a great time, and then to bear children.
[00:21:33]  And that will make what happens later on all that more easier, too.
[00:21:37]  That's not a mistake.
[00:21:38]  Yeah.
[00:21:38]  And so, like we think about what we're seeing societally is a lack of commitment from women due to hypergamy, right?
[00:21:47]  Wanting to find a mate who's.
[00:21:50]  You know, to the up, you know, out and up from them, right?
[00:21:54]  So, higher status male.
[00:21:55]  And we, we, there's that's well researched at this point that that's what women want.
[00:22:00]  And then on the side of men, what you see is also a lack of commitment, actually, but it's precisely because there's no forcing function for men to actually want to enter into marriage, particularly for the high status men, because you can get sex outside of marriage.
[00:22:17]  And so, it's, there's nothing that tells a man, hey, I ought to commit to this woman.
[00:22:23]  To get something that naturally I really want.
[00:22:27]  And so, men, for that reason, aren't pressured into marriage socially.
[00:22:33]  And then, women also, because you have this massive pool and you have dating apps, and I mean, it feels like they're, you know, one's going defunct and another one's popping up in its place.
[00:22:43]  And so, you have this massive, massive pool where women can say, Hey, I'm in Central Texas.
[00:22:48]  I could date a man from Dallas or date a man from Houston.
[00:22:53]  And those men are available to me through the internet.
[00:22:56]  And so, Why would I settle for this man that I know from high school?
[00:23:00]  That has to be a point.
[00:23:02]  It has to be parsed out.
[00:23:03]  When you look at dating apps, so they've triangulated who do women swipe right on?
[00:23:07]  That is, say they would like to know more about who do men swipe right on.
[00:23:11]  80% of women, all of their, or 80% of your swipes, 80% of the attention, it's going to the top 20% of men.
[00:23:18]  So they're looking at men, like you said, Antonio, they make a lot of money.
[00:23:21]  And the thing about men, so women's fertility goes down over time, a man's status, honestly, it gets better over time.
[00:23:28]  He's more successful if he's a good man, he's more successful in his career.
[00:23:31]  He has less of the youthful, undisciplined, whatever you want to call it.
[00:23:36]  He's more disciplined.
[00:23:37]  Typically, he's going to be in better shape in his 30s than in his early 20s.
[00:23:41]  So he's making more money.
[00:23:42]  He looks better.
[00:23:43]  He's more mature.
[00:23:44]  He has more gravitas, because that's what women are looking for.
[00:23:47]  Women are practically vulnerable, completely vulnerable for nine months when they're pregnant.
[00:23:51]  So they need a man that's strong.
[00:23:52]  They need a man that can provide.
[00:23:54]  They can protect them and look after them when they first have the child.
[00:23:57]  So women are looking for status, but all of that status.
[00:24:01]  And when we do this, like you said, with Dating apps, when we do it with when you stack people at just astronomical density in the city, what you do is you say, All right, women, you are biologically programmed to seek out high status males.
[00:24:14]  And those 80%, what they're doing is they're chasing the top echelon.
[00:24:18]  And the bottom 80% of men, we'll talk about this later on, they're having to settle for the remaining 20%.
[00:24:24]  And practically speaking, there's just not enough to go around.
[00:24:27]  And so it creates resentment.
[00:24:28]  Women are frustrated because those high value men are not committing to them.
[00:24:32]  They're like, I'll give you sex on the first date.
[00:24:35]  He's like, eh, but I can get that from a lot of women.
[00:24:37]  And then there's a bunch of men that, like, these women won't even give me a second look.
[00:24:41]  And they both begin to hate each other.
[00:24:43]  Yeah, that is definitely happening.
[00:24:45]  I like what you said.
[00:24:46]  I don't like it, but it's important what you said in terms of, yeah, a man's value, if he's a good man and he's a hardworking man, he's reasonably gifted and intelligent, and certainly if he's a Christian man and a moral man, his value is actually increasing over time.
[00:25:03]  Whereas the woman's value is decreasing.
[00:25:06]  She has this clicking, Clock, you know, this ticking talk.
[00:25:10]  The time is like the hourglass, the sand is running thin.
[00:25:14]  And just for all the Christians who are listening, when I say that her value is going down, I'm not speaking of the eternal, ultimate spiritual sense.
[00:25:22]  I'm not saying her value in the sight of God.
[00:25:24]  I'm not saying her eternal value and the weight of her soul.
[00:25:27]  But I'm saying for the purpose of marriage, the conversation that we're having at hand, for the purpose of marriage, the 40 year old single woman is less desirable than the 20 year old single woman.
[00:25:41]  In part because of her life, her fertility, her strength, her beauty, all of those things.
[00:25:49]  But then also because if she's 40 years old and single and having never married, that also says something.
[00:25:57]  It's like the single mom.
[00:25:59]  There are some single moms who are wonderful and Christian and love the Lord.
[00:26:04]  But there is an immediate red flag.
[00:26:06]  And the red flag is what happened to the last guy?
[00:26:09]  Why are you single?
[00:26:10]  Did you have the children out of wedlock?
[00:26:12]  Or did your husband run out on you?
[00:26:14]  And if he did run out on you, is it because you're insufferable?
[00:26:18]  You know, like there's, there naturally are those questions.
[00:26:21]  And it's not just that that's natural, but I think it's even wise.
[00:26:25]  You know, I've counseled Christian men who are considering marrying a single mother.
[00:26:31]  And that's part of the counsel that I give.
[00:26:33]  I don't say that they shouldn't in an objective sense across the board.
[00:26:38]  But I do say, well, let's sit for a moment.
[00:26:41]  Let's think.
[00:26:42]  Let's pray.
[00:26:43]  I'm going to go talk to her.
[00:26:45]  Let's find out why she's a single mother.
[00:26:48]  Right.
[00:26:49]  And then, if it's because of sin, let's find out is there genuine repentance?
[00:26:56]  And who can vouch for her?
[00:26:58]  Who can say, I've seen her?
[00:26:59]  She's not the same woman that she once was.
[00:27:01]  She's changed.
[00:27:02]  It's been X many years, these two years, or three years.
[00:27:06]  She's been faithfully going to church.
[00:27:08]  She's repented of being a raging feminist that drove her past husband away, or this, that, and the other.
[00:27:16]  But these are things that have to be considered.
[00:27:18]  So if a woman is older, For the purpose of marriage, she is less desirable.
[00:27:24]  If she is a single mother, again, for a man who is looking at her as a potential suitor, she is less desirable.
[00:27:33]  And those are not things that are, just for the record, that's not immoral.
[00:27:37]  It's not, oh, well, men are pigs.
[00:27:41]  That's so vain.
[00:27:42]  No, the Bible says, rejoice in the wife of your youth always.
[00:27:46]  The Bible actually assumes and esteems.
[00:27:51]  Marrying a young, graceful doe, marrying a woman who is in the prime of her youth, that is filled with life and fertility, who is beautiful.
[00:28:08]  The Bible glorifies this.
[00:28:10]  The Bible doesn't say that's vain.
[00:28:12]  Every godly man, if he was really godly, he should be shopping for 300 pound, 40 year old single moms.
[00:28:20]  That is not a biblical teaching.
[00:28:22]  And there's a lot of pietistic Christians who want to kind of act like it is.
[00:28:25]  You know, basically, well, if you were more godly, then you'd go marry that hag.
[00:28:30]  No, that's not what the Bible teaches.
[00:28:32]  It is perfectly permissible, and not only permissible, but I think even rightly directed that a godly man in his godliness, not away from his godliness, but through his godliness, would be seeking a young, beautiful, non feminist, submissive, joyful wife.
[00:28:55]  Debt free virgin without tattoos?
[00:28:57]  Yeah, those would be good qualities to look for.
[00:28:59]  Yes.
[00:29:00]  We talked about an episode a couple months ago the glory of young men is their strength.
[00:29:04]  Both men and women in their youth have strength for men and beauty for women.
[00:29:07]  And the goal of both of them is to exhaust physical beauty, physical strength, but for the spiritual qualities of the spiritual beauty and of spiritual strength to take place later in life.
[00:29:17]  A man will not be able to maintain a 400 pound bench into his 80s.
[00:29:21]  And a woman will not be a magazine model into her 80s.
[00:29:24]  Both of them are fleeting and both of them will go away.
[00:29:27]  But for the Christian, they take those qualities, beauty and youth and vigor, and they transform it into children and a beautiful home and a happy husband.
[00:29:36]  The husband takes his strength and he builds a home.
[00:29:38]  Now, both of those physical ones go away, but they're replaced by the virtue.
[00:29:42]  And so when you talk about youth, like, guys, this is how God made the world practically.
[00:29:47]  Like, men can sire children into their 70s, women can bear them till about 45.
[00:29:52]  That's how God made the world.
[00:29:53]  He chose to do that.
[00:29:55]  That's his design.
[00:29:57]  You don't get to be mad at it.
[00:30:00]  You can be mad at us for pointing that out, but practically, all we're doing is pointing out this is how God has arranged men and women, made them differently and how to function.
[00:30:09]  Yeah, and what you see falling apart is this idea of, I mean, it's fallen apart by now, actually, but is this idea of marriage as an investment, a mutual investment on both parts, right?
[00:30:25]  Especially in your youth, right?
[00:30:26]  A man marries a woman at, let's assume they get married at 21, 20.
[00:30:31]  He marries a woman at her peak as it relates to her physical beauty.
[00:30:36]  She actually marries him sort of at the start of his potential.
[00:30:42]  And so he's investing in her, saying, Hey, you actually are incredibly valuable right now as it relates to your physical beauty.
[00:30:49]  And over time, that will actually diminish.
[00:30:52]  But I'm investing in your roles, your spiritual growth, your role as a mother, and your ability to bear us children.
[00:31:00]  And the woman is actually making the investment in the man in terms of his future financial output, right?
[00:31:06]  His ability to protect as he learns what it is to be a man.
[00:31:11]  You think about where you were at 20 years old.
[00:31:13]  There's so many things you don't know.
[00:31:15]  How do you govern a household?
[00:31:16]  How do you provide for your family?
[00:31:18]  How do you plan financially in the long term?
[00:31:21]  And all of these things a man at 20 years old, as he enters into marriage, doesn't have figured out.
[00:31:26]  And the woman is saying, Despite those things, I'm investing in you, and together we'll grow and make something that collectively we benefit from.
[00:31:35]  And now it's the opposite, right?
[00:31:36]  Now it's actually, let me realize my full potential now.
[00:31:42]  Let me actualize that and reap the benefits myself.
[00:31:45]  And then once I've reaped the benefits, a man living single, working until he's 30, living as a bachelor, making a lot of money, having a great life, traveling all over the world, women doing the same thing, focusing on a career.
[00:31:58]  Oh, now I've expended all the potential of my 20s and I've reaped the benefits myself.
[00:32:03]  Now let's go find a partner.
[00:32:05]  That's right.
[00:32:07]  Let's go to our first commercial break.
[00:32:08]  We'll be back in just a moment.
[00:32:10]  America is a country that was founded for the purpose of allowing Christians to do their duty before God, not to have their consciences ruled by the doctrines and commandments of men.

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=== Boomer Dating Events (14:58) ===

[00:34:38]  Made in the USA and free shipping on orders above $99 for the US only.
[00:34:46]  Well, welcome back.
[00:34:48]  The reason we pulled that clip out that's not necessarily from just this past week was there's a New York Times article titled, Men, Where Have You Gone?
[00:34:56]  Please Come Back.
[00:34:57]  And if we could get anything across in this second segment, it's to recognize that the gap in the dating market is not improving.
[00:35:03]  We already discussed hey, you're going out there, you're trying to date, you're trying to find a good, godly woman.
[00:35:08]  You are facing a much greater battle, a much more difficult climb than your grandfather is.
[00:35:13]  Your grandfather lived in a town that had socials, that had Events that had reasons to mingle together.
[00:35:19]  They probably met someone very early on in their 20s.
[00:35:22]  Many men, they're like, I'm 30, and my dating option is kind of older than that.
[00:35:26]  So we've kind of already established that.
[00:35:28]  And the point is, it's not getting better.
[00:35:29]  And even women, they're really coming to realize, holy cow, we drove men out of the market.
[00:35:35]  We set the standards too high, and they actually left.
[00:35:38]  We took it for granted.
[00:35:39]  There would always be a Chris Hemsworth around every corner, a Chris Evans in the waiting.
[00:35:43]  It turns out they're not.
[00:35:45]  And men are actually, men are.
[00:35:47]  They do better with being single and alone than women do, to be honest.
[00:35:51]  Like, practically, women struggle much more with that.
[00:35:54]  They're innately designed to companionship, to a home, and to children.
[00:35:59]  Men, obviously, a good man is oriented towards that as well.
[00:36:03]  But there's a lot of men that are, they just have a lot of solitude and they like to think and they like to build and they like to study.
[00:36:09]  And so it's women especially suffering.
[00:36:12]  And to illustrate it, let me just read this quote here from the New York Times.
[00:36:15]  And it's again, the article is called, Men, where have you gone?
[00:36:18]  Please come back.
[00:36:19]  And this is a woman who's 54 years old and she's divorced.
[00:36:22]  And she says this it's not about blaming men, it's about noticing the imbalance, about grieving what's not meeting us, and about refusing to dress it up as personal failure when it's actually a collective reality.
[00:36:34]  So here's what I'll say You are missed, not just by me, but by the world you once helped shape.
[00:36:41]  This woman is a radical feminist.
[00:36:43]  And even she.
[00:36:44]  And even she is saying, I'm trying to find a man to date, I'm trying to find a man to build a life with.
[00:36:51]  And you're gone.
[00:36:52]  She observes that she goes to dinner and she's like, there's only about one or two other couples here.
[00:36:56]  It's women with their girlfriends, it's guys out for happy hour.
[00:37:00]  And it's about two couples left that are actually men and women trying to make something work.
[00:37:05]  Let me transition a little bit to the statistics side of things.
[00:37:10]  Over half of single women said they believed that they were happier than their married counterparts.
[00:37:16]  So single women are like, I'm happier.
[00:37:18]  In a 2024 study of 5,800 adults, just over a Third of surveyed single men said the same.
[00:37:24]  So, at least in this study, you have men saying, like, we're not doing as hot compared to single women.
[00:37:29]  A 2022 Pew survey of single adults showed only 34% of married women were looking for romance, compared with 54% of single men, down from 38% and 61% in 2019.
[00:37:44]  So even less women than six years ago or five years ago.
[00:37:48]  It was actually three years, 2022 to 2019.
[00:37:50]  Women are seeking a relationship less.
[00:37:53]  So 34% of single women were looking for romance in what?
[00:37:59]  In 2022.
[00:38:00]  In 2022, but it previously had been 38% in 2019.
[00:38:03]  So down the line, it would in 2019 had previously been 61%, and then it dropped to 54% in 2022.
[00:38:12]  Listen to this.
[00:38:13]  This is a sad statistic.
[00:38:15]  Men were also more likely than women to say that they were worried that nobody would want to date them.
[00:38:20]  You have here this is a record high share of 40 year olds in the US have never been married.
[00:38:27]  As of 2021, 25% of four year olds, 25%.
[00:38:32]  Have never been married.
[00:38:34]  So, you're not, this is not your divorcees are not included in this.
[00:38:37]  This was a significant increase from 20% in 2010.
[00:38:41]  So, in 11 years, 5% more 40 year olds would count as having never been married, according to new Pew Research Center analysis of Census Bureau data.
[00:38:51]  We already touched on it.
[00:38:52]  A lot of factors contributing to that.
[00:38:54]  Hoflation is one of them.
[00:38:56]  It's off the charts.
[00:38:58]  It's bad.
[00:38:58]  Yeah.
[00:38:59]  But one final one, and we trusted in the cold open.
[00:39:02]  Back in 2019, Morgan Stanley, 45% of women to be single and childless by 2030.
[00:39:11]  Now, again, that's ages 25 to 44.
[00:39:15]  Yeah, this is, we're not just talking about 18 year olds, 25 to 44 year old women, 45% of that, almost half of the women who are 25 to 44 years old will have never been married and have no children.
[00:39:29]  And then that's, in terms of biologically speaking, that is past the point.
[00:39:33]  Of them being able to ever have children.
[00:39:36]  Right, practically speaking.
[00:39:37]  So you have a fertility crisis.
[00:39:39]  We talked about this a couple weeks ago.
[00:39:40]  People are not having children, people are not getting married, specifically women.
[00:39:44]  Less women are seeking to be married.
[00:39:47]  This is what a culture in suicide looks like.
[00:39:49]  Yeah.
[00:39:49]  A culture unwilling to love, unwilling to risk.
[00:39:52]  There's one final piece that I want to pull up here.
[00:39:54]  And this is interesting.
[00:39:55]  This is from a local Ask Men Advice.
[00:39:57]  This is on Reddit.
[00:39:58]  So a cesspool of libs.
[00:39:59]  So take it with a grain of salt.
[00:40:01]  But listen to this.
[00:40:01]  This is interesting.
[00:40:02]  The topic, the post, the title is.
[00:40:04]  Why do you think men are not attending dating events in my area?
[00:40:08]  The poster said, So I'm curious to get your take on this.
[00:40:10]  I've been following and sometimes attending some very cool, well organized, and earnest in person dating events in my area.
[00:40:16]  They seem to have a common problem.
[00:40:18]  The women's tickets will quickly sell out, and there will be 100 women on the waiting list, but they can't sell all of the men's tickets.
[00:40:24]  So what's going on here?
[00:40:25]  Seems to be more of a problem with the 40 plus age group, but only by a little.
[00:40:29]  Are men not on social media so they don't know about them?
[00:40:31]  Are men more disillusioned?
[00:40:33]  What gives?
[00:40:36]  You have men too.
[00:40:38]  They're just, and I spoke about it, I said, like, they're not willing to pursue love, take a risk.
[00:40:43]  Dating events like this, there's a really good post that we were reading earlier.
[00:40:47]  It's the antithesis to how men typically pursue achievement.
[00:40:52]  Well, you come in, you sign your name tag, and you get your little name tag written down, and you have three minutes.
[00:40:58]  It's all structured.
[00:40:59]  It's very actually feminine, right?
[00:41:00]  It's organized, it's structured, it's well managed, it's designed to be non offensive.
[00:41:05]  You just privately say, like, oh, I don't want to match with this person, or I don't want to match with this person.
[00:41:09]  And what we have done is we have crushed the soul of a people, the soul of a people, their desire to build a society, to find a woman, to build a home.
[00:41:18]  Like, practically speaking, even just going to housing.
[00:41:20]  Like, how many men are like, oh, the dream?
[00:41:22]  Let me tell you what, 700 square foot condo in downtown Denver, all you can eat DoorDash around me, and a gal to share it with.
[00:41:31]  Nobody fights for that.
[00:41:33]  They work dead end jobs, have terrible housing options in a world where inflation has destroyed your income potential.
[00:41:40]  The women are all practically prostitutes.
[00:41:43]  Yeah, that's a society with no life and vigor and energy.
[00:41:46]  Yeah, somebody in the comments had a good point.
[00:41:50]  Sparty Buck, he said, It's the dispensational boomers that have told their kids to wait to marry.
[00:41:57]  That is absolutely true.
[00:41:59]  Obviously, it's not every boomer, but it is true that boomers are really one of the first generations in American history that, in mass, gave the strong counsel for their children not to get married too soon, what they perceived as being too soon.
[00:42:20]  I've heard a lot of people in their 60s and 70s who just in passing, they'll say it.
[00:42:28]  Still, even like with no recognition that that was not necessarily a good thing, they'll say it as a point of pride.
[00:42:33]  You know, we really encouraged our daughter, we really encouraged our son, you know, not to get not to settle down too quickly, not to get married, you know, right out of college, you know, but to wait until we're 30, you know, or something like that.
[00:42:45]  Yeah, and if they do get married, wait a couple years to settle down and have kids, go travel.
[00:42:51]  Yeah, and that's pretty consistent, I think, with like the themes of the boomer generation.
[00:42:59]  One of the main ones was actually consumerism.
[00:43:02]  In the commodity, you know, the commodification of things.
[00:43:05]  And I think, you know, what we saw in the boomer generation, this definitely spilled over into Gen X as well is, well, I had to sit in a marriage that wasn't perfect.
[00:43:17]  There was a shinier woman, there was a shinier set of circumstances that were available to me, but I had to settle.
[00:43:24]  And I don't want that for my children.
[00:43:26]  I don't want them to have to settle.
[00:43:28]  And so my advice to them is hey, find the perfect person and don't be like me who had to speak.
[00:43:33]  Sit in this unhappy marriage.
[00:43:35]  Yeah.
[00:43:35]  Which the point that I'm making there is that this indicates that the concept of marriage actually had fallen apart long before 2020, long before 2018 and 19, and some of these statistics we're looking at.
[00:43:51]  This is a downstream consequence of an improper view of marriage that existed in America in the 60s and in the West in the 70s.
[00:44:00]  And really, it goes back to some of the same themes that we were looking at and that we're hearing in the Collar Daddy video, which is.
[00:44:09]  There's someone that's perfect for you.
[00:44:12]  In the same way that there's a nicer car and there's a nicer home that you could live in, boomer, there was a woman that was better for you as well.
[00:44:19]  And you hear that a lot from boomers as they talk about their marriages.
[00:44:22]  Still, I mean, I'm familiar personally with several marriages where people would say, yeah, it is what it is.
[00:44:31]  This is my marriage.
[00:44:33]  Wasn't the happiest life that I could have had, but it's what I had.
[00:44:38]  And how much did TV and social media just expose people to?
[00:44:42]  Maybe I don't want to say other options, but just make them jealous.
[00:44:46]  Like, excite envy.
[00:44:47]  So, if you're a young man and let's say, I don't even know, like the baby weights, it's not coming off, your wife is not as attractive as she was.
[00:44:55]  Well, if you're on Instagram or you're on X, then you're exposed to a litany.
[00:44:59]  Even if you don't follow those pages and you're carefully curated, you guard your eyes, you're still practically going to see a couple dozen women a day that are young and attractive.
[00:45:08]  And practically speaking, it would be very hard not to.
[00:45:12]  And with the boomers, you could say with TV and it was with all the television and shows and media.
[00:45:17]  By commercializing everything and using like sex sales, attractive people, like that's who you want in your branding.
[00:45:23]  By doing so, you kind of broadcasted to at least two generations at this point like, oh, your spouse is not that great, but don't worry, there's hotter people just around the corner.
[00:45:33]  And man, that kind of sucks that you're stuck with X and Y and Z. Same thing with a house, same thing with a car.
[00:45:38]  Like you needed to be living this type of life and you need to be doing that.
[00:45:42]  And then comparison, the thief of joy.
[00:45:45]  And so then they had a bad marriage because they always sit there and like, man, my husband is.
[00:45:49]  100 pounds overweight and makes nothing at his job, and I'm stuck with him.
[00:45:54]  And I see my Facebook friend from high school.
[00:45:57]  I see their marriage and they're doing great.
[00:45:59]  I see him and her and this.
[00:46:01]  And to your point, I think that robbed a lot of joy out of marriages.
[00:46:05]  And they pass that down.
[00:46:06]  They're like, no, no, no, son, you wait.
[00:46:08]  You find a great woman.
[00:46:09]  And now we see the end of it, right?
[00:46:11]  Is men saying, okay, I'll wait, I'll wait, I'll wait.
[00:46:15]  You know, how many times do you show up at the pickup basketball court and you don't get picked before you just say, I'm not going to go anymore.
[00:46:22]  Right.
[00:46:22]  I'm just standing on the sidelines.
[00:46:24]  And I think that's the end of this kind of rhetoric and approach to dating and marriage.
[00:46:30]  Right.
[00:46:31]  Back to that Reddit comment, which Reddit is, as we all know, just the seedbed of the worst people alive in all the world.
[00:46:45]  It's funny how a left wing space like Reddit is one of the most heavily moderated sites in the internet and X and Twitter.
[00:46:51]  Is very much so, not too heavily moderated, still to some degree.
[00:46:55]  And it is a very right wing site.
[00:46:57]  Funny how that works, isn't it?
[00:46:58]  Yep.
[00:46:59]  Yep.
[00:46:59]  The one that's moderated is leftist.
[00:47:02]  Yeah.
[00:47:02]  So the comment that we read just previously on Reddit said, like, you know, I'm going to all these singles events.
[00:47:10]  And the problem is, you know, women will sign up and there'll be, you know, 100 women on a waiting list, you know, but the men don't come.
[00:47:17]  And, you know, I was just thinking about, like, you know, even with our conference that we held, you know, a couple months ago, we did a singles mixer and, That is not the problem that we have.
[00:47:26]  In fact, we have to do the opposite.
[00:47:28]  So, you know, with our singles mixer, we charge the men $50 because we'll have, even with charging $50, we have way too many.
[00:47:37]  And we charge the women $1.
[00:47:40]  Because we know that in right wing spaces, both politically and religiously across the board, in every single element of society, in right wing spaces, whether it's the church or whether it's a conference or whether it's a political rally, The men are there, the women are not.
[00:48:00]  And so, my point is if you take our experience with our conference, we had to turn away lots of men and charge them $50 to try to weed out some.
[00:48:10]  And then, basically, you know, like barely got enough women at $1 instead of $50 to sign up.
[00:48:18]  And then you compare that with this Reddit comment, which is a left wing, you know, social media site.
[00:48:23]  And they're saying, you know, I'm going to these dating events and it's all women and no men.
[00:48:27]  We have a singles mixer and it's all men and it's hard to get.
[00:48:32]  Women.
[00:48:32]  And so my point is that I think there are still men and women out there, right?
[00:48:35]  I mean, the statistics haven't changed much.
[00:48:37]  It's still roughly 50 50, 50% men, 50% women.
[00:48:42]  And we don't have polygamy in the country, you know?
[00:48:45]  So it's not like, you know, like if.
[00:48:47]  With all the Muslims here, you think that's not happening?
[00:48:49]  Yeah, well, maybe it's not happened yet.
[00:48:52]  So it's not as though, you know, that like one man has three wives.
[00:48:55]  So, you know, if there's roughly the same, you know, similar amount of women as there are men, 50%, you know, it's like 51%, 49%.
[00:49:05]  And each person can only marry one spouse of the opposite sex, then you should have roughly the same number of single men as you have women.
[00:49:14]  And so, what I'm saying is that there are single men and there are single women, and they're showing up to find a spouse, but in two different places.
[00:49:24]  The women are showing up in leftist spaces.
[00:49:28]  And yes, I'm talking about your Reddit dating event and the Gospel Coalition conference.
[00:49:35]  I'm talking about both.

=== Daycare Authority Submission (15:03) ===

[00:49:36]  The men are showing up in right wing spaces.
[00:49:39]  And I just want to be truthful here that includes New Christendom Conference and Right Response Conference, but in On the whole, the lion's share, that includes a lot of Catholic and Eastern Orthodox churches.
[00:49:55]  Like, where can I find, if a woman's asking, but where can I find a good, high caliber, productive, ambitious, virtuous young man?
[00:50:10]  Well, you're probably actually not going to find him at your Reddit event, but you will find him at the Catholic Church.
[00:50:20]  You will find him at that Eastern Orthodox church, and you will find him at some of the few right wing coded, truly conservative, masculine, Protestant events like our conference.
[00:50:35]  We do not have that problem.
[00:50:36]  There's just too many women and not enough men.
[00:50:38]  Even just compare the two events.
[00:50:39]  We have the opposite problem.
[00:50:40]  Very well managed the Reddit one, managed, timed, perfectly marketed.
[00:50:45]  The men's conference, we at the end literally did like a lifting competition.
[00:50:48]  People are throwing up on the field, dying as they try to run a mile.
[00:50:52]  So it's the men's one.
[00:50:53]  It's masculine.
[00:50:54]  It's not perfectly planned out and curated.
[00:50:57]  Like, again, that speaks to the dynamic.
[00:51:00]  Men demand hierarchy.
[00:51:01]  Men demand competition.
[00:51:02]  Men demand status.
[00:51:03]  Men want to make something of themselves.
[00:51:05]  Women want things to be safe and perfect and organized and fair.
[00:51:10]  Yeah, fair, equal, equality.
[00:51:12]  Yeah.
[00:51:12]  So if you're a woman who's listening to this, which there aren't that many, I think we're like 87% male listenership, but if you're a woman who's listening to this and you want to get married, And you want to marry a high caliber virtuous man, then you're going to need to go to right wing spaces because that's where young single men are.
[00:51:36]  Young single men are abandoning the left.
[00:51:39]  You can see, you know, we've talked about this in previous episodes and shown the graphs and statistics of men are abandoning the, in mass, young single men abandoning the Democrat Party, abandoning all the tenets of leftism and liberalism and these kinds of things.
[00:51:54]  And they are becoming.
[00:51:56]  Right wing, because they realize that leftism sold them a bill of goods and ultimately hates them and has no future, no opportunity, and nothing for them.
[00:52:05]  And so, if you're a woman who's trying to get married, you need to follow the men.
[00:52:12]  You need to follow, especially the men who are, it's worth following them.
[00:52:16]  One, because that's where you'll find a spouse, but two, because they're right and you're wrong.
[00:52:20]  They're right and you're wrong.
[00:52:22]  The men are actually adopting.
[00:52:28]  Views that are more aligned with scripture.
[00:52:33]  And women, young single women, in large part still haven't.
[00:52:38]  They still haven't.
[00:52:39]  And you can see the divide.
[00:52:41]  You can track all the way back from the last 50 years of the voting patterns of men and women, and single men and women.
[00:52:51]  And they usually kind of follow each other.
[00:52:53]  And there was a time where men were more liberal.
[00:52:57]  And then it kind of shifts.
[00:52:59]  And now it's like you see the two lines of single men and single women, and the men one is just trending up towards being more right wing, and the woman one.
[00:53:08]  And it's actually right now, currently in the last 50 years, we have the widest gap politically.
[00:53:15]  So, this is just politics, but it translates, I think, to culture and religion, these things as well.
[00:53:19]  You have the widest gap between single men and single women in terms of their political views.
[00:53:24]  The widest gap in 50 years here in America.
[00:53:29]  And then, other nations, like South Korea, it's actually even more extreme.
[00:53:34]  The gap is massive between young Korean single men being right wing.
[00:53:40]  And young Korean single women being left coated.
[00:53:43]  And so I think that's a big part of the problem.
[00:53:45]  It's not just that the men aren't showing up.
[00:53:48]  I think part of the question that you have to raise with that is showing up where.
[00:53:52]  There are still single men, and they are still showing up somewhere, but they're no longer showing up at your lib fest.
[00:54:00]  That's not where they are.
[00:54:01]  They're waking up.
[00:54:02]  They're not showing up to the liberal dating event because they're waking up to reality and to God's truth.
[00:54:12]  And I think.
[00:54:14]  If women find that icky, then women will die alone.
[00:54:20]  So, all right.
[00:54:23]  That's the framing.
[00:54:25]  If men and women don't figure it out, scores of them, half of them, they will die alone.
[00:54:30]  Our fertility crisis will reach the point where our population will decline.
[00:54:34]  You'll struggle to staff, well, we'll be replaced by robots, but you'll struggle to staff a lot of enterprises because people haven't had children to fill it.
[00:54:41]  You literally witness the death of a civilization from its arts, from its culture, from its creativity, even its military.
[00:54:48]  And it's will to live.
[00:54:49]  And I don't think practically, I don't think you get there without a large scale exodus of women from the workforce.
[00:54:56]  It's probably not going to be organic.
[00:54:58]  Organically, women aren't just going to wake up and decide en masse 80% of us, we're going back to our home, even if we have to downsize.
[00:55:05]  I'm going to go back.
[00:55:05]  I'm going to take care of it.
[00:55:06]  I'm going to care for my husband.
[00:55:07]  I'm going to care for my children.
[00:55:08]  I'm going to pull them out of daycare.
[00:55:10]  I'll be honest, guys, I don't practically see organically how that happens, but I don't think without that happening that the relationship gets better at all.
[00:55:19]  Yeah.
[00:55:20]  Any thoughts?
[00:55:20]  Yeah.
[00:55:20]  I mean, and just on that point, like, from what I understand from I think even Republican tax bills have done this, is subsidizing daycare.
[00:55:31]  And so you talk about economic incentives.
[00:55:34]  It's like that, those kinds of things work in the opposite direction.
[00:55:39]  They make it make sense for women to be in the workforce because daycare isn't all that expensive.
[00:55:45]  Right.
[00:55:45]  And so, like, when you talk about policies and different things like that that have brought women into the workforce, To everyone's detriment, it's things like that that we can look at and say, oh, that was in the 2017 Tax Cuts and Jobs Act, and Republicans support that.
[00:56:03]  So I think waking up to some of those very particular policies that have been put in place, even recently, will be important to draw back.
[00:56:14]  If you can legislate it one way, though, the encouraging thing is you could legislate it the other way.
[00:56:18]  So if you legislated lots of daycare, lots of perks, lots of family leave, turns out by taking those away, people say, hey, I can't afford daycare.
[00:56:26]  Like, literally, there comes a certain point.
[00:56:27]  I saw someone, she said, I'd pay $6,000 a month for daycare in Seattle.
[00:56:31]  Wow.
[00:56:31]  Like, if you're making $8,000 a month at a certain point, it literally is just, I literally could just stay home and free daycare.
[00:56:37]  Imagine that.
[00:56:38]  Unless it's subsidized by the federal government.
[00:56:40]  And then, you know, really the confounding variable is men are being left behind, not only, you know, culturally, which is absolutely true, but also economically, right?
[00:56:51]  Women are more likely to graduate college, more likely to achieve a master's degree and a PhD now than men are.
[00:56:58]  So, even at the higher income level, You know, tax brackets, women are increasingly filling those.
[00:57:05]  And so, even you think about like daycare subsidies, you know, subsidizing daycare, like a practical consequence of taking that away could actually be men are staying home because they're actually the.
[00:57:16]  I don't know.
[00:57:18]  The.
[00:57:18]  You're right, though, right?
[00:57:18]  Lesser owners.
[00:57:19]  So there's.
[00:57:20]  Yeah, you're right.
[00:57:21]  Or I should say, you know, they make less income than their wives.
[00:57:24]  And so there's all sorts of things where we've really gotten ourselves in a pinch here in the West on this front.
[00:57:31]  Yep.
[00:57:32]  Duke Mysterian, he said, I think he's right.
[00:57:36]  And I've mentioned this before, but I want to mention it again.
[00:57:39]  He said, Women conform to whoever is in power, not to Christian alphas.
[00:57:44]  And he's right.
[00:57:46]  For women, consensus matters.
[00:57:49]  Women are, I think, much more conformed and vulnerable, influenceable to the consensus of society as a whole.
[00:58:01]  But what will people think, right?
[00:58:04]  Is this popular?
[00:58:05]  What will the majority say?
[00:58:07]  And the majority for women, In many ways, sets the authority, especially in our context, which is a democracy, which I despise, but that's where we're at.
[00:58:19]  And so, my point is this men tend to have, for better or for worse, the double sided coin, right?
[00:58:27]  It's a two edged sword.
[00:58:28]  So, on the one side, it's ambition, it's zeal, it's having a risk threshold, risk tolerance, those kinds of things that lend towards entrepreneurship, that lend towards Courage and leadership and these kinds of things.
[00:58:45]  On the flip side, we could call it rebellion.
[00:58:48]  I think men have a higher tendency to rebel against authority, is what I'm saying.
[00:58:53]  Women have a higher tendency to submit to authority.
[00:58:58]  And ultimately, I think that a lot of that is not, I'm not even saying it's bad.
[00:59:02]  I think that's part of God's design.
[00:59:04]  The woman tends to be, her natural propensity is to be more amicable, to go along, to get along, to go with the majority, to go with whoever is in power, whoever.
[00:59:18]  Whoever is in authority, where men, especially young men, until they're not their will broken, but shaped and harnessed, strength harnessed under control, still strong, in fact, stronger, but under control, being able to focus and target that strength.
[00:59:36]  But until that happens with maturity and time, men tend to be more rebellious towards authority.
[00:59:43]  So women naturally being more submissive to authority and men being more rebellious towards authority.
[00:59:49]  And I remember thinking, you know.
[00:59:51]  Initially, thinking, well, maybe, but not anymore because of feminism.
[00:59:55]  And so now, you know, women, they hate the word submission, you know, and that's true.
[01:00:00]  They do hate the word.
[01:00:01]  But here's the reality funny enough, women still submit.
[01:00:06]  The only difference is that the authority has shifted, the authority has changed.
[01:00:12]  So if you go back, you know, 50 years ago or even just 30 years ago, we would talk about the epidemic of men leaving the church, right?
[01:00:20]  Men are leaving the church in mass, you know, to watch football or to go fishing or whatever.
[01:00:25]  They don't want to be in church.
[01:00:26]  And so you got all these women and children in church, but the husbands are gone.
[01:00:32]  Well, the reigning dogma, right, the orthodoxy, lowercase o, orthodoxy of the day, was still at some level religion, the Christian religion.
[01:00:42]  And men are bucking against that with that natural tendency to rebel against authority.
[01:00:48]  Now you see women are actually, young single women are leaving the church in mass and men are returning to it.
[01:00:53]  And I think part of that is the total regime change.
[01:00:57]  Politically, culturally, spiritually speaking, in our country, that now leftists, leftism has had basically almost a total takeover.
[01:01:08]  It does seem like there's a little bit of hope on the horizon, but you look at from, you know, 2010, you know, I mean, obviously earlier, but it being so blatant, 2010 all the way to like 2024 and, you know, 2020 and 2021 and 2022 kind of being a high watermark for the left.
[01:01:31]  It was a near total takeover.
[01:01:32]  You're talking about all of academia.
[01:01:34]  You're talking about all of the media.
[01:01:35]  You're talking about all of corporate America, all of politics, the White House, you know, everything was leftism.
[01:01:43]  And so the reigning dogma, the reigning authority was left coded.
[01:01:49]  And so then now what are you seeing?
[01:01:50]  Once that total regime takeover of the switch of authority has happened, now you see young men bucking against that and saying, oh, that's the authority?
[01:02:01]  Well, I'm going to be right wing.
[01:02:03]  Right, that's the authority.
[01:02:04]  Uh, well, I'm gonna, you know, I'm gonna start listening to Alex Jones, you know, or I'm gonna go to this Trump rally, or I'm gonna, you know, whatever.
[01:02:11]  Uh, I'm gonna, oh, uh, uh, the authority is anti church, I'm gonna start going to church, and then they want to find what they want to find, like, like the most traditional, oldest, you know, church they can find.
[01:02:24]  Like, they, you know, the theology at some level is irrelevant, and I'm not saying that men aren't genuinely persuaded.
[01:02:29]  I understand in the comments, young men will say, no, no, no, I was persuaded by this argument of this church father, whatever.
[01:02:37]  Sure, I believe you.
[01:02:38]  But I think it also has to do.
[01:02:40]  So maybe it's not as a substitute to that.
[01:02:43]  But in addition, I think young men are like, okay, so everything, relativism is reigning supreme, leftism is reigning supreme, humanist secularism, anti tradition, modernity, everything is just modern and new and novel.
[01:03:01]  So I'm going to go to church.
[01:03:02]  And which church am I going to go to?
[01:03:03]  I'm going to go to this old cathedral with robes and tassels and incense and stained glass.
[01:03:11]  And we'll throw in a few images for good measure.
[01:03:13]  I'd like some statues over here, some statues over there.
[01:03:17]  I want to hear Gregorian chants.
[01:03:20]  I want old because the regime, the authority, is new.
[01:03:26]  The authority is relativism, so they want transcendence and objectivity.
[01:03:31]  It's modernity, so they want tradition.
[01:03:34]  The authority, the regime, is anti religion, so they want religion.
[01:03:38]  It's leftist, so they want right wing.
[01:03:41]  Whereas women, here's my point.
[01:03:43]  The irony is that all these feminist women, it's not that the heart of feminism is that they're rebelling against authority.
[01:03:51]  They're actually submitting to authority, and the authority is telling them to be feminist.
[01:03:55]  And so they are.
[01:03:57]  And so they are.
[01:03:58]  So right now, what you have is you actually have a switch.
[01:04:02]  Whereas, again, 30, 40, 50 years ago, men were leaving the church, and there was still this hangover of this authority and dogma of church is good, Christianity is good, tradition is good.
[01:04:14]  So, women were submitting to authority and being in church.
[01:04:17]  Men were kicking against the goads and leaving, exiting the church.
[01:04:21]  Well, now you have the reverse effect.
[01:04:24]  Men are coming back to church, women are leaving the church.
[01:04:26]  And I think one of the determining factors is the switch of the authority.
[01:04:31]  So, women are actually not really changing in their ontology, in the way that they've been wired by God.

=== Feminist Authority Switch (10:38) ===

[01:04:39]  What are they doing at the end of the day?
[01:04:40]  They're raging against the machine, they're being an individual, they're being unique.
[01:04:44]  Nope.
[01:04:46]  Women are doing what women have always done.
[01:04:48]  They're submitting to authority.
[01:04:51]  It's what they do.
[01:04:53]  They're submitting to authority.
[01:04:54]  The problem is that the authority was hijacked, fully taken over, a full hostile takeover by anti religion, anti tradition, a bunch of communists.
[01:05:07]  And so women are actually submitting to authority by submitting to communism, submitting to leftism, all those kinds of things.
[01:05:14]  And men are coming back to the church.
[01:05:17]  And it's just kind of this musical chairs.
[01:05:18]  And we're just swapping.
[01:05:20]  But my point is that they keep missing each other.
[01:05:22]  They just keep missing each other.
[01:05:24]  The women are in this space looking for men.
[01:05:27]  And the men are in this space looking for women.
[01:05:30]  And currently, right now, I think women on the whole are in the wrong space, left-coated spaces, and men are in a good space, right-coated spaces.
[01:05:38]  But a big part of it for me comes down to some of those things I think are innate and you're not going to be able to change.
[01:05:44]  To me, a lot of it comes down to the system of this prolonged interim period where men and women, young, single men and women, are just on their own in adolescence, perpetuated.
[01:05:58]  And in some cases, tragically, indefinitely.
[01:06:01]  I think the only way to really fix it is to that women would go from one head to another, from a father to a husband, that they would get married young and until they're married, that they would still stay under their father's authority.
[01:06:20]  And honestly, it's back to what you said, Wes.
[01:06:23]  So, how do you get rid of this, on average, 12 year interim period of a woman who's 18 and leaves her father?
[01:06:32]  But doesn't join a husband until she's 30.
[01:06:34]  How do you get rid of that?
[01:06:36]  Well, historically, the way you got rid of that is there would be nowhere for her to go in between.
[01:06:42]  Right.
[01:06:44]  There's no women in college.
[01:06:46]  What's that?
[01:06:48]  Women in the workforce come again?
[01:06:51]  Yeah.
[01:06:51]  What do you mean?
[01:06:52]  Like at home?
[01:06:52]  What do you mean?
[01:06:53]  Women in the workforce, you mean like working at home?
[01:06:56]  Working at home, cooking.
[01:06:57]  Milking cows.
[01:06:57]  Cooking.
[01:06:58]  Yeah.
[01:06:58]  Okay.
[01:06:58]  Yeah.
[01:06:59]  Like, no, like what that's.
[01:07:02]  Yeah, like, but you got even the alleged conservatives.
[01:07:05]  I saw like TPUSA doing a women's leadership summit.
[01:07:10]  Women's leadership.
[01:07:12]  And I. Complete with former OnlyFans models.
[01:07:14]  Yes.
[01:07:15]  You know, seriously.
[01:07:15]  With a former OnlyFans model being one of the speakers.
[01:07:19]  I remember seeing that and, you know, retweeting and saying, Women's leadership is just like where women get together and they're told who leaders are.
[01:07:29]  And so it's like a conference about husbands and fathers, you know, and like.
[01:07:33]  You know, like, no, that's not what it is.
[01:07:37]  It's a conference for women to be leaders.
[01:07:40]  And women can lead, but if they want to lead, they will lead alone.
[01:07:46]  They will be alone.
[01:07:48]  And it's just that's not the way God created men and women.
[01:07:51]  Men are not going to want to marry a three piece suit piece boss babe, you know, whatever.
[01:08:00]  That's just that's never going to happen.
[01:08:02]  And so, yeah, I think a big thing, going back to what Wes said, is.
[01:08:06]  You're going to have to have societal changes writ large that ultimately bring women back home.
[01:08:15]  And in the case of single women, it would be bringing them back to their father and they would be wanting to start their own household, their own family, and skipping that step of indefinite independence.
[01:08:28]  They would know that for me to leave, right?
[01:08:30]  I mean, all this is biblical for this reason, not college, not career, for this reason.
[01:08:37]  A man shall leave his father and mother and cling close, cling fast to his wife.
[01:08:43]  The purpose of leaving your initial household that you grew up in is to start your own.
[01:08:51]  The Bible doesn't give any other reason for leaving your first family but to start your own family.
[01:09:00]  And so I feel like until we find a way, whether it's through tax benefits or legislation or this, that, or the other, until we find a way to create less opportunity, and I know some people hear this and say, that sounds cruel.
[01:09:18]  It's not, it's merciful.
[01:09:19]  It will lead women's happiness to an all time low.
[01:09:23]  It will make women.
[01:09:24]  Married women are generally happy.
[01:09:26]  That's right.
[01:09:26]  Single women are miserable.
[01:09:28]  Yeah, with their glass of wine and their cats, they're miserable.
[01:09:31]  So, this is not, we're not trying to disparage women.
[01:09:33]  We love women.
[01:09:34]  We'd like them to be happy.
[01:09:35]  And the Bible tells us what is for our good and where and how we will be most happy.
[01:09:43]  And so, in love for both men and women, until we as a society make some kind of systematic changes to where there's nowhere for women to go but marriage.
[01:09:58]  Then I don't think you're going to see it changed.
[01:09:59]  And here's the thing sometimes you can blackpill and you can think, like, well, I don't, you know, we have such godless leadership, you know, even all the, you know, alleged conservatives are feminists, you know, and Trump's not going to do that, and this person's not going to do that.
[01:10:14]  You can blackpill and despair pretty easily.
[01:10:17]  But the thing that encourages me is just remembering that at the end of the day, it's not just making conscious decisions and the leadership of our country, doing the right thing that aligns with scripture.
[01:10:26]  If that were the only hope, then yeah, we're, you know, Up the creek without a paddle because I don't have a whole lot of faith in politicians.
[01:10:36]  But God is exceedingly merciful.
[01:10:38]  And by way of providence, He will sometimes, in His mercy, force us back onto the rails that we, in our rebellion, got off of.
[01:10:47]  And He'll do it even though we didn't make that conscious decision without sending revival to the land, without changing our hearts.
[01:10:53]  He'll just get us back on the rails.
[01:10:55]  And then, in His mercy, the heart change and those kinds of things will eventually follow.
[01:10:59]  And one of the ways that God could do that by His providence, there's a number, but one is.
[01:11:04]  AI, artificial intelligence is taking jobs, but it will be taking, mark my words, it will be taking female jobs disproportionately.
[01:11:14]  It's not taking trash truck collectors?
[01:11:16]  Nope.
[01:11:16]  Garbage truck men?
[01:11:17]  Yep.
[01:11:18]  It is going to be taking some of the first jobs that will be replaced and are being replaced will be the most meaningless jobs admin, HR.
[01:11:32]  Like, I mean, it's seriously like you go to your work.
[01:11:37]  Tomorrow morning, your corporation, and you look at which departments would it be great if we got rid of, and then look and see who works there.
[01:11:47]  Is it men or is it women?
[01:11:50]  Right?
[01:11:50]  Your HR department, all these kind of pencil pushing, busy work, admin jobs, these kinds of things, these will be replaced.
[01:11:59]  And the statistics are that disproportionately, women are the ones who work these kinds of jobs.
[01:12:06]  The very type of jobs.
[01:12:09]  That are most easily replaceable.
[01:12:13]  And I think on it, so that my point is, even without revival coming to the land, although we pray for that and hope that that's the case, but even without a spiritual revival or a conscious heart change and a change of course that we actually make as a decision, I think that just providentially in God's mercy through technological innovation, and God can also, another thing that can get a society on path real quick, we don't wish for it, but just saying historically.
[01:12:40]  That can bring a nation together and get men into their God given roles and women back into their God given war, conflict.
[01:12:48]  Someone pointed out in the chat.
[01:12:50]  Totally.
[01:12:50]  Tragedy, calamity, famine, economic crash.
[01:12:56]  So, whether it's technological innovation like AI, or whether it's a war, or whether it's a crash in the market, or whether it's this or that, there are a lot of ways that God can actually force us to return to nature.
[01:13:08]  Because all this is, at some level, the fact that we have this artificial, we've found a way to manipulate God's natural order, and we've created this artificial world.
[01:13:21]  And all it needs is just a little bit of pressure, just a little bit of providential pressure.
[01:13:27]  And it pops like a bubble.
[01:13:30]  And it's not sustainable.
[01:13:32]  And all of a sudden, it's like, okay, like we've got, you know, we've got this task and it requires physical strength.
[01:13:38]  Okay, it's going to be, you know, it's going to be like 99% men.
[01:13:43]  And we've got this over here and it's going to be women.
[01:13:47]  And so my point is that, you know, if you're looking out to your political leaders or you're looking even at the church, which can be incredible.
[01:13:54]  Incredibly discouraging looking at the evangelical church or whatever it is, and you're thinking, we don't have the grit, we don't have the will.
[01:13:59]  I don't see anybody, you know, it doesn't seem like people are willing to change.
[01:14:03]  They just want to double down and just continue to be a bunch of libs.
[01:14:08]  There's a lot of truth in that.
[01:14:10]  However, at the end of the day, we don't get to decide.
[01:14:14]  And history has proven, and scripture and the Old Testament with Israel.
[01:14:18]  Like, how many times was Israel off the rails, and God said, you know what will fix this?
[01:14:25]  Everyone getting together and just digging deep inside and making the right decision.
[01:14:29]  Nope.
[01:14:29]  You know what, fix this?
[01:14:30]  70 years of captivity.
[01:14:32]  That'll fix it real quick.
[01:14:34]  All it'll take is 70 years, and everybody's going to have a great attitude, you know, and people are going to repent of their sin, repent of their idolatry.
[01:14:44]  And God has done it countless times with this society and this civilization and this empire.
[01:14:51]  God is sovereign, just as sovereign as He ever was, and in His mercy.
[01:14:56]  He can turn up the faucet of pain or providence by AI or whatever it is, pain or providence.
[01:15:03]  And he can turn up those faucets and push us back on the rails despite ourselves.
[01:15:09]  And that gives me hope.
[01:15:13]  So we need to deal with the chat.
[01:15:15]  We've got some super chats that we want to make sure to honor.

=== Brotherhood Coffee Honor (03:27) ===

[01:15:18]  And then we've got some good questions that you guys have sent in, which we appreciate.
[01:15:21]  Do we have one more commercial break?
[01:15:23]  We do.
[01:15:23]  Okay, let's go to one more commercial break and we'll come back and we'll start dealing with the chat.
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=== Evangelical Marriage Consequences (14:26) ===

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[01:19:22]  So, welcome back.
[01:19:26]  We're going to hit the questions.
[01:19:27]  We've got a number of questions and some super chats, but practically on advice, you gave some to the men.
[01:19:32]  But I did want to round it off with one just really practical way of framing it.
[01:19:36]  So, this was a great post from a couple of days ago, and I'm just going to read it, and I think it says it really well.
[01:19:41]  So, this is someone kind of using that frame.
[01:19:43]  If you've got a young man, yeah, bro, there's like zero young women at my church.
[01:19:47]  I'll never find a date.
[01:19:48]  Oh, that's tough, dude.
[01:19:49]  What church do you go to?
[01:19:50]  Yeah, it's a church in the Reformed Ecclesiastical Theological Associate Reformed Denomination of the Southeast.
[01:19:56]  We broke off from the RPCNA back in the 90s when Joe Moorcraft went liberal for not making Alex Jones an elder.
[01:20:02]  There's like five churches in our denomination scattered through the South.
[01:20:05]  The biggest one has nearly 70 members and is only 40 miles from the nearest town.
[01:20:09]  And he's being a little bit funny about that.
[01:20:11]  Like, we're the super hyper niche.
[01:20:13]  You know, we're the only truly Reformed church.
[01:20:16]  No, not just in our town, not just in our state, but in the entire United States.
[01:20:20]  But practically speaking, Men, if you want to get married, we have lost a lot of those cultural institutions that bring men and women together.
[01:20:27]  There's a reason people marry their high school sweetheart because they were brought together in high school, they were brought together in sports.
[01:20:32]  He's on the field playing football, she's a cheerleader, or you're up in the bleachers cheering for the same team.
[01:20:37]  But a lot of those contexts in adulthood that bring people together, we've lost them.
[01:20:42]  Or we will bring people together, but we'll do them for quirky, silly reasons.
[01:20:46]  We'll do it for Halloween parties and Friendsgiving, not realizing the kind of reason we did these dances and social events and everything was for men and women to get together, to hang out, and to spark relationships.
[01:20:57]  So a lot of that has been lost.
[01:20:59]  You don't have those contexts to meet and interact with women as much anymore.
[01:21:03]  And practically, especially if you want a godly woman, less and less of the United States is godly, you're going to have to go where godly.
[01:21:09]  Women are.
[01:21:10]  If we're being perfectly honest, your OPC church of 25 people, they're not there.
[01:21:15]  Now, never are we to go to what would be a non church, what would be a church with women pastors, for instance.
[01:21:21]  But practically speaking, I think it is perfectly permissible.
[01:21:24]  And I've had men ask me this to say, I have these convictions.
[01:21:28]  I'm reformed.
[01:21:28]  I'm Calvinistic.
[01:21:29]  I'm theonomic.
[01:21:30]  I'm this, that, or the other.
[01:21:32]  But practically speaking, I also want to be married and have a family.
[01:21:35]  And I'm going to go down the street to this church that's a lot more like John MacArthur's church, but it's male elders.
[01:21:40]  They preach the gospel, the singing, you know, they got the guitars and the rock band.
[01:21:45]  But here's the deal there's a thousand single women in their 20s and 30s there.
[01:21:49]  That's right.
[01:21:49]  That is, it's not required, but I think it is very much so permissible.
[01:21:53]  I'm going to go there, I'm going to serve the Lord, and I'm going to spend time around men or women.
[01:21:58]  For women, it would be kind of the opposite going to a good reformed church like Ogden or like ours to be around single men.
[01:22:05]  I think that's perfectly permissible to do.
[01:22:07]  Yeah, I agree.
[01:22:08]  Categories true church versus false church, and then good church versus bad church.
[01:22:14]  You can be in a true church that's not a good church.
[01:22:18]  It's an okay church.
[01:22:20]  It's a decent church.
[01:22:22]  But it is true, meaning it is lowercase o orthodox.
[01:22:26]  It's not heretical.
[01:22:28]  It does constitute as a church.
[01:22:31]  And it's not the best church or even necessarily close to the best church.
[01:22:36]  But to go there for the purpose of snagging a bride is, I think, permissible.
[01:22:42]  We had a young man who moved out with us back in 2020.
[01:22:48]  From California, where I pastored previously.
[01:22:52]  And so he moved out when we all moved, myself and my family, and about seven other families.
[01:22:58]  And he was the only single man who came with us at the end of 2020.
[01:23:03]  And about two, three years ago, our church was still smaller at the time.
[01:23:09]  And I remember he called me and he was all worked up, you know, like he felt terrible about it.
[01:23:15]  You could tell he felt guilty, but he also just felt sad because he loved our church and he loved me, and there was no hard feelings.
[01:23:21]  But he said, There's this other church, and I've been attending some of their midweek programs for singles and young adults and things like that.
[01:23:30]  But I'm still kind of an outsider because I'm a member at your church, and I go to your church on Sunday, and I want to join this church.
[01:23:39]  And I knew the pastor, and he was a good guy.
[01:23:41]  He knows how controversial I am and all that kind of stuff, and he's always treated me with kindness.
[01:23:45]  But the church is just not quite as conservative as our church is, but it's a true church.
[01:23:52]  They love the Bible.
[01:23:54]  They're lowercase o orthodox and they're not heretics.
[01:23:59]  They do some things differently than we do.
[01:24:02]  And there's some topics that they probably won't address that we would be willing to address.
[01:24:06]  They're not as liturgical when it comes to their order of worship.
[01:24:10]  There's a little bit of the rock band.
[01:24:12]  It's more tasteful than some churches.
[01:24:14]  They don't have smoke machines and things like that.
[01:24:17]  But it is a little bit more of a concert than we're a cappella in our singing.
[01:24:22]  But I love that because here's a young man who cares deeply about theology, has been in my church and was willing to move across the country to come with us and all these things.
[01:24:34]  And yet he realized I can't afford to be an ideologue.
[01:24:38]  I don't want to be an ideologue who is single my whole life.
[01:24:44]  I would rather be a permissible degree of pragmatic and be married.
[01:24:51]  And then I can always come back to your church or find some other solid church that I agree with.
[01:24:57]  But I need to be willing for a couple of years to go where the women are.
[01:25:02]  And I. Completely blessed him to do so and no hard feelings.
[01:25:07]  And I was like, Yeah, you don't need to feel guilty.
[01:25:09]  This is not sin.
[01:25:11]  So, yeah, I think that's really good practical advice.
[01:25:15]  Really good.
[01:25:16]  Yep.
[01:25:17]  Okay.
[01:25:18]  Let's go ahead and deal with the chat.
[01:25:19]  Oh, I'll take this first one.
[01:25:20]  So, Sparty Buck, he said, There are biological and physiological consequences for psychological.
[01:25:28]  Psychological.
[01:25:29]  I'm sorry.
[01:25:29]  Biological and psychological consequences for body count.
[01:25:33]  This is true.
[01:25:34]  We don't have time to get into it, but that would be a good episode to do sometime.
[01:25:37]  You know, Wes is.
[01:25:39]  Has plenty of experience in the realm of biology and those kinds of things.
[01:25:43]  And so eventually that would be.
[01:25:45]  I prefer the term knowledge rather than experience on that one.
[01:25:47]  All right, all right, knowledge, plenty of knowledge in that realm.
[01:25:51]  But yeah, that would be a good topic to discuss.
[01:25:54]  And for the record, I'll just say this it is true that having more sexual partners has a biological, certainly psychological, but even biological effect.
[01:26:06]  And here's the deal we don't live in an egalitarian world.
[01:26:09]  That's not the world that God made.
[01:26:11]  So that effect, it doesn't happen to men.
[01:26:14]  It happens to women.
[01:26:15]  Yeah.
[01:26:16]  And that's just the facts.
[01:26:17]  It's like, oh, well, you know, so like, so men can get away, Scott Clean.
[01:26:23]  Biologically speaking, yes.
[01:26:25]  Now, there are other consequences, right?
[01:26:27]  You can get STDs and those kinds of things.
[01:26:29]  Like, God will not be mocked by men or women, you know.
[01:26:33]  And so there are consequences.
[01:26:35]  And then, of course, most importantly, there are the consequences of sin spiritually, you know, and psychologically and mentally, emotionally, those kinds of things.
[01:26:43]  But in the case of women, there actually are biological consequences that are not there for men.
[01:26:49]  But that are there for women, that women were intended by God to have one sexual partner.
[01:26:56]  And they are affected much more severely if that's not the case than men are.
[01:27:02]  And that's worth talking about for young women to be aware of and for young men as they're considering a spouse and looking to marry a woman that her past, yes, we have a God who redeems.
[01:27:15]  We believe the gospel.
[01:27:16]  We're saved not by our meticulous law keeping, but by the perfect and finished obedience of.
[01:27:21]  Christ by grace alone, through faith alone, and Christ alone.
[01:27:24]  So, we're not talking about, well, this woman has a sketchy past, and therefore she can't be a Christian, or therefore she can't be a member in a Bible believing church, or therefore we should treat her with disrespect.
[01:27:39]  We're not saying any of those things.
[01:27:42]  But we are saying that when it comes to looking for a spouse and who to marry, that should be considered.
[01:27:48]  It should be considered on both sides of the aisle a man's past.
[01:27:52]  A woman's past.
[01:27:54]  But biologically speaking, there are deeper, much deeper consequences for the woman than there are for the man.
[01:28:02]  So, good comment from Sparty Buck.
[01:28:03]  He's right about that.
[01:28:04]  We'll try to deal with that more in depth in the future.
[01:28:06]  Antonio, you want to take the next two?
[01:28:08]  Yeah.
[01:28:09]  Yeah.
[01:28:09]  So, nobody special.
[01:28:10]  Two comments here, two super chats.
[01:28:13]  First one says most of the women in churches, even women in their 60s and 70s, are second wave feminists.
[01:28:19]  This is, of course, completely true.
[01:28:21]  So much of the rudiments of what we see today, what we're seeing played out today in third wave feminism were established in the mid 20th century.
[01:28:34]  And so, of course, a lot of people, as a consequence, bought those lies, both women and men alike, really.
[01:28:39]  I mean, even if you speak to some men in the Gen X generation, so much of the platitudes of feminism they'll agree with.
[01:28:48]  And so, yeah, it's important to note like, we're not, what we're dealing with, we said this earlier in the episode, what we're dealing with is.
[01:28:55]  At this point, generations old, it's seated in almost every facet of our society.
[01:29:01]  And so, of course, as we think about approaches and how we address these things, we're going to have to consider all of the different ways that it's crept into corners and what the sort of interdependencies are of change.
[01:29:15]  So, good comment there.
[01:29:16]  The second one here says, White evangelicals, especially homeschoolers, are some of the only people in the world who are consistently encouraging their children to wait as long as possible to marry.
[01:29:29]  That is what homeschoolers certainly, it's like, what kind of homeschooler?
[01:29:32]  There is a kind that does that.
[01:29:34]  And then there is like, they're like eight out of 16 kids in the family and they're expected to have 16 themselves.
[01:29:40]  But that is certainly a trend that some married by 12.
[01:29:45]  No, but I remember like, maybe you both remember as well, like a big cultural moment was Tim Tebow.
[01:29:51]  If you remember, sort of at the height of his college career, I can, I remember this interview where they're asking him, Uh, you know, about girlfriend, I think it was something about girlfriends, but somehow it got to him waiting until he was married to have sex.
[01:30:06]  And of course, it was this incredible uproar.
[01:30:09]  You know, there's a Tim Tebow has also spoken about this.
[01:30:12]  Like, he was obviously on a college football team and he was surrounded by guys who constantly were trying to tempt him into having sex and sort of one night stand flings with women and things like that.
[01:30:25]  And, and, and so, yeah, I mean, that was kind of a moment where it was like, okay, this is clearly.
[01:30:31]  The unpopular thing, and this would have been Russell Wilson, too, was very much adamant about that, exactly.
[01:30:37]  Uh, so, you know, more so in the last you would say, you know, maybe 15 years, you've seen that just completely flip where it's a very small segment of the population here in America.
[01:30:48]  It's kind of exhausting, like we read this morning in Family Worship, Ephesians 6 and Fathers, do not exasperate your children.
[01:30:54]  You're kind of speaking out of both sides of your mouth when you say, Wait until marriage, right?
[01:30:58]  And also, you should get married at about 28 to 29 years old, yeah.
[01:31:02]  Like the practical means of waiting till marriage is marrying, not extremely young, but marrying when you are young.
[01:31:09]  Like you said earlier, Joel, the wife of your youth.
[01:31:11]  And so, insofar as people push that, it's very contradictory.
[01:31:14]  And like purity culture, honestly, a lot of good.
[01:31:17]  Like, be chaste, don't look at terrible things online, and wait until marriage.
[01:31:22]  Like, that's good advice.
[01:31:23]  But of the negatives that you could say was most certainly a almost denial and a demonizing and wait as long as possible.
[01:31:30]  No, it's good.
[01:31:31]  It's given by God, it's intended, it's to be kept within marriage.
[01:31:34]  And getting married at 20 is a great thing to do.
[01:31:37]  Without the practical tools of, okay, what do I do as I wait?
[01:31:41]  Right?
[01:31:41]  What am I to do?
[01:31:42]  And so you have sort of secret sin, and you've heard this come out a lot in some of these circles, the purity circles of the 90s and early 2000s.
[01:31:51]  Bill Gossard was a single man, and then he was asking for massages and he was creepy.
[01:31:57]  He never married.
[01:31:58]  Yep.
[01:31:59]  Yep.
[01:32:00]  And yet he talked about marriage all the time.
[01:32:02]  It's always kind of funny.
[01:32:03]  I don't know how we followed him.
[01:32:04]  Not we personally, but like how evangelicals.
[01:32:07]  People did, yeah.
[01:32:08]  Captivated by that one.
[01:32:09]  Yeah, real quick, I was just going to add one thing.
[01:32:11]  I think that's well said.
[01:32:12]  But the only thing I would add to it is I think part of this sentiment, you know, even among evangelicals of like, you should wait and get married later, that's across the board.
[01:32:24]  I don't think that's particular to evangelicals.
[01:32:27]  I would agree if it's like, you know, including even evangelicals.
[01:32:32]  But that's really across the board for all Westerners and Americans giving counsel to their adult children to wait rather than marrying young.
[01:32:41]  And I think part of it is, I mean, there's a million different factors, and we've talked about a lot of them on this episode so far.
[01:32:47]  But one other is the judicial system, legality.
[01:32:52]  That I think there's a lot of people who are telling their children, adult children, to wait because they have horror stories of their own and immense regrets of their wife that took them to court and took everything that they had and took the children and did this and did that.

=== Community Parenting Choices (16:10) ===

[01:33:11]  And so, with the rise of no fault divorce, And with, in many cases, a female coded judicial system that almost always sides with the wife, no matter what the facts actually are, a lot of men have just realized that the moment they get married and have a child, right, it's not just getting married, but it's getting married and having children.
[01:33:33]  The moment they get married and have a child, they become subservient, legally bound in slavery to their wife.
[01:33:41]  She holds every key of power in our society at large, in terms of culture, in terms of law.
[01:33:50]  At every single level.
[01:33:51]  And she can, she has the power to absolutely destroy his life, to make sure he never sees his children again, to take the house, to take, you know, everything that he's worked for, not just a 50 50 split, but I mean, like he is destitute, he is ruined.
[01:34:08]  And so a lot of people have given that advice, especially to their sons, to young, young single men, saying, be careful, be careful, be careful, because the moment that you do this, yes, it's a good thing.
[01:34:21]  And yes, ultimately, I want to see you married, I want to see you have.
[01:34:24]  Kids.
[01:34:25]  But if you make the wrong choice, marriage and children today means giving the keys away to a woman who will have the entire weight of our American system, our culture, our laws, politicians, pastors, right?
[01:34:42]  You go in for marriage counseling, who are the pastors going to side with?
[01:34:46]  With a woman.
[01:34:48]  Always.
[01:34:49]  Like virtually always.
[01:34:51]  So it is, I think that's part of the reason why that council has been.
[01:34:55]  To wait is because uh boomers and older generations, uh, Gen X especially, um, has seen uh just a lot of horror stories where um, that doesn't mean that men can't do terrible things because they do, um, but men do bad things and so do women, they both do bad things.
[01:35:13]  But um, but when you look at the system, the system favors the women.
[01:35:18]  Our current feminist system favors the women, and even the courts, I would say, especially the courts, the church courts, and the civil courts will favor the woman.
[01:35:28]  And so, the moment that a man gets married and has children, he has made the most vulnerable decision that he will ever make in his lifetime.
[01:35:37]  He has basically put his neck on a stone and given this lady a knife.
[01:35:45]  And with just the flick of a wrist, she can kill him and absolutely destroy him forever.
[01:35:51]  And so, yeah, it's a daunting, daunting decision.
[01:35:55]  Dapper Dan, I'll get this next one.
[01:35:56]  Dapper Dan sent a $10 super chat.
[01:35:59]  Thank you, Dan.
[01:35:59]  He said this.
[01:36:00]  I'm seeing lots of men join the Eastern Orthodox and Catholic churches because they're allegedly not as feminized as Protestant ones.
[01:36:07]  What can the Protestant church do to combat this?
[01:36:10]  The greatest strength of Protestant churches is they're decentralized.
[01:36:14]  That's right.
[01:36:15]  The worst part of Protestant churches is they're decentralized.
[01:36:18]  Certainly, Calvin and even the later Dutch reformers like Bob Inc. they certainly imagined that the Protestant church would be more uniform than it is right now.
[01:36:25]  So, Calvin and Luther, as they unshackled from the Roman church, their ideal was not, and we're doing this.
[01:36:31]  You could have, you know, first, second, third, fourth, fifth Baptist all in the same town, and they don't ever talk to one another.
[01:36:37]  So, the Reformed church, I mean, it literally means reformed.
[01:36:39]  You formed it again.
[01:36:41]  Because Protestantism has splintered, it's about six to nine denominations.
[01:36:45]  People say, well, you have 30,000 churches.
[01:36:47]  Really, there's about six to nine different strong theological strains, rivers, streams that you could speak of.
[01:36:54]  But the problem, practically speaking, how do we fix this?
[01:36:56]  How do we make them less feminized?
[01:36:58]  Is that you could reform, for example, the Lutheran Church, your ECLA, your LCMS.
[01:37:04]  You could do that, but that doesn't mean that the Episcopalian Church, the Anglican Church, the Baptist Church, the Presbyterian Church, that doesn't mean that they're going to do.
[01:37:11]  Anything about it, and so as far as it comes to reforming and masculinizing Protestant churches, again, it's going to be a church by church model.
[01:37:20]  I love what Ogden, for instance, is doing, they're a little bit ahead of us, they've had a building, uh, they've just been around longer.
[01:37:26]  But I mean, that is a masculine church that is liturgical, it's traditional.
[01:37:30]  You there is not a hint of feminism in the men, the deacons, the leadership, the worship, any of that.
[01:37:35]  And what's going to have to happen is churches like that are going to have to model it, and other pastors and other men take that and realize, man, there seems something different, and I'm realizing.
[01:37:44]  They don't have women read scripture from stage, and their worship emphasizes singing instead of instruments and drums.
[01:37:52]  But practically speaking, there is not a mechanism centrally speaking to fix this problem with Protestantism.
[01:37:59]  It's going to be a hard one to win.
[01:38:00]  Yeah, I would just add to that the label Protestant today isn't even really helpful because it's just such a wide spectrum of theological views.
[01:38:12]  But I will say this, and this is my conviction, obviously.
[01:38:16]  But I think the Reformed tradition is kind of the only hope for Protestantism.
[01:38:19]  Like, that's just where we're at.
[01:38:22]  I think the Reformed tradition is largely doing this right now, and we're seeing this kind of sort of male, you know, patriarchal, male positive sort of church version of church and version of culture emerge.
[01:38:36]  And I think that will be good as we think about, well, where are men going to go?
[01:38:40]  Or is it going to be Orthodoxy?
[01:38:41]  Is it going to be Catholicism or the Reformed tradition?
[01:38:45]  I think the Reformed tradition has a lot to offer.
[01:38:48]  Both on theological grounds, obviously, but also on this front.
[01:38:53]  Yeah.
[01:38:54]  Yeah.
[01:38:55]  All right.
[01:38:57]  I can handle this one quick.
[01:38:58]  So, Deacon St. John, great brother, faithful supporter.
[01:39:01]  He left a $20 super chat with just a really good question.
[01:39:04]  And maybe instead of reading it, what I'll say to this, just because there's circumstances, it depends on the state, it depends on your job situation.
[01:39:11]  He's just asking about a custody battle.
[01:39:13]  John, if you would just message me on X, I'd be happy to dialogue just a little bit further about this.
[01:39:18]  It's Wesley underscore Todd underscore.
[01:39:21]  If you just messaged with whatever your name is, I would be more than happy to dialogue a little bit about this question.
[01:39:26]  Just basically asking, where do I kind of go?
[01:39:28]  The court system is against me, and I have a daughter.
[01:39:32]  I want to see her.
[01:39:33]  How do I best navigate that?
[01:39:34]  So I would be more than happy to talk about it.
[01:39:36]  Really appreciate your support for our ministry and us.
[01:39:39]  I would love to try to be a help.
[01:39:41]  Thanks, John.
[01:39:42]  All right.
[01:39:43]  Nate, is that all the super chats for today?
[01:39:45]  Nope.
[01:39:46]  We got more.
[01:39:46]  Oh, we have more.
[01:39:47]  Okay.
[01:39:48]  The dangerous gentleman.
[01:39:49]  The dangerous gentleman.
[01:39:50]  $10.
[01:39:51]  Thank you.
[01:39:51]  We appreciate that.
[01:39:52]  He says, What do you think about reviving shepherd led marriage?
[01:39:58]  Not forced, but guided biblical matchmaking through pastors, families, and community.
[01:40:04]  Dating is broken.
[01:40:05]  Christendom needs structure.
[01:40:07]  Yeah, 100%.
[01:40:09]  Yeah.
[01:40:09]  Yeah, we talk about that all the time.
[01:40:12]  If it had been five years ago, I would have said we joke about that.
[01:40:15]  But at this point, I can't even say we're joking.
[01:40:17]  We seriously talk about that as men in our church and as friends.
[01:40:22]  We talk about who our kids are going to marry.
[01:40:25]  And yeah, absolutely.
[01:40:28]  I think I mostly agree with that.
[01:40:30]  I don't think we would force anything.
[01:40:32]  I don't think legally that we could force anything.
[01:40:35]  I know we couldn't.
[01:40:36]  But in terms of strong guidance and encouragement, Absolutely.
[01:40:42]  There's so many things that parents can do.
[01:40:45]  Obviously, you need to be in a good biblical church.
[01:40:47]  You need to be doing family worship and catechism with the children, with your wife, washing her in the Word, and all these different things, and have a home that's warm, a home that's fun, a home that fears the Lord.
[01:40:57]  You need to get your kids out of public school.
[01:41:00]  You need to have them in a Christian, distinctly Christian school or homeschooled.
[01:41:05]  All these things are paramount, but there are even more things that you can do.
[01:41:10]  Make sure that you are in a place that has other families in a similar life stage as you, so that your children are going to have multiple marriage options.
[01:41:21]  That's a huge thing to be thinking 10, 15, 20 years down the line.
[01:41:26]  Am I building a life in a community now where my children will have someone to marry that I would approve of?
[01:41:32]  Because if not, then you can't hold that against your kid and say, Well, why are you still single?
[01:41:38]  Or why do you keep bringing home deadbeats as potential suitors?
[01:41:42]  It's like, Well, why did you, mom and dad, raise me in a community where there was no one, no suitable option around?
[01:41:50]  So, where you go to church and what community you're in, and this also has to do with where you live, what state you're in, and what county you're in, what city you're in, where you live, and how you live, and where you go to church, and who you go to church with, is going to be like 98% of the determining factor for who your children marry, and if your children marry, and when your children marry.
[01:42:18]  So, parents, if you love your kids and if they're young, that's even better.
[01:42:22]  That means you have plenty of time.
[01:42:24]  You can make these transitions early.
[01:42:26]  I recognize it is hard to uproot your family from their school, your kids from their school and from their church and from their town when your kids are 17 years old, 15 years old, and 13 years old.
[01:42:41]  Way easier to do it before having kids or when your children are young to say, no, we're making the switch now, we're pulling the trigger.
[01:42:51]  Yes, it'll hurt now, but it'll hurt more later.
[01:42:54]  And we have to do this.
[01:42:55]  We're going to get out of New York, where there is now a literal communist mayor, right?
[01:43:03]  That just did it.
[01:43:04]  So the Democratic nominee for the mayor race is a literal Mohammedan socialist.
[01:43:09]  Yes.
[01:43:10]  Yes.
[01:43:11]  Yeah.
[01:43:11]  So you got an Islamic foreign born socialist.
[01:43:17]  And for those who are like, well, but socialism isn't all bad.
[01:43:20]  Yeah, but this is the communist version of socialism, right?
[01:43:23]  So this is as bad as it can possibly get.
[01:43:26]  And yeah, if you're in New York, why are you in New York?
[01:43:30]  Stop that.
[01:43:31]  Stop it.
[01:43:33]  Get some help.
[01:43:34]  Stop it.
[01:43:34]  Get some help.
[01:43:35]  Let me play this out too when you said about dating options.
[01:43:37]  So I have a daughter and I'm going to be involved when a young man comes to ask for her hand in assessing him and just picking a good man.
[01:43:44]  Here's what's going to help a ton.
[01:43:45]  If we stay in this area and stay in the church, there will be young men that I have known for 20 years.
[01:43:51]  I know their dad and his character.
[01:43:53]  I know his mom.
[01:43:54]  I know their marriage.
[01:43:55]  I've seen him grow up.
[01:43:56]  I've seen what he's interested in, how he's working.
[01:43:58]  And so he comes to me and says, I would be interested in pursuing your daughter.
[01:44:02]  I have an entire backdrop of context to say, This is a good, virtuous young man, sweetie.
[01:44:07]  And I'm excited for you to begin this endeavor.
[01:44:10]  Versus when she's 25 and she comes home with a man and I don't know him for anything.
[01:44:14]  And so I'm trying to do my best and say, well, tell me about your spiritual life.
[01:44:19]  Tell me about this.
[01:44:19]  What are your ambitions?
[01:44:20]  You have to go meet his parents for the first time.
[01:44:22]  I have to go meet his parents for the first time.
[01:44:24]  And so just practically where you are being rooted, staying there, picking somewhere, staying put.
[01:44:30]  When it comes time for dating, you are giving your kids exponentially more good options.
[01:44:36]  Practically, tangibly speaking, you are giving them much better chances.
[01:44:40]  Of not being young men or young women that are in their 30s saying, Why didn't this happen to me?
[01:44:45]  All my friends got married, but there's nobody that I know, and I never got picked, and I want a family so deeply, and it just never happened.
[01:44:52]  But why?
[01:44:53]  Right.
[01:44:54]  The only thing I was going to add to that so, where do you live?
[01:44:57]  Who do you live with?
[01:44:58]  Where do you go to church?
[01:45:00]  What school do your kids go to, or homeschooling co op, or this or that?
[01:45:04]  Like, who are their peers?
[01:45:05]  What other families are in your community?
[01:45:07]  Who are they around?
[01:45:09]  Massively important decisions, not just what we do privately as our immediate family in the home with catechism and family worship, but are we in a community that thinks like us?
[01:45:20]  Are we in a community of others who also do family worship in their home?
[01:45:24]  Like our church, I don't know of any family, there might be one that sends their kids to public school.
[01:45:33]  So we don't have to walk on eggshells and just assume we'll like 80% go to public school and we're trying not to.
[01:45:41]  Defend them and share our convictions too strongly, you know.
[01:45:45]  But I'm looking for those three other families in a church of 500 people, you know, that have the same conviction that we do, you know, or think of it like cell phones.
[01:45:53]  I don't know a single family in our church that has 12 year olds with a smartphone, you know, like not one.
[01:45:59]  So that is a huge thing.
[01:46:01]  And that doesn't mean we don't have some disagreements, you know, like obviously some parents, you know, are homeschooled, some parents are, you know, classical, you know, Christian school.
[01:46:09]  There are still differences and we hash those out and we have those kind of conversations, but there's so much more.
[01:46:15]  Like, we're so much closer together just by virtue of being in a solid biblical church that talks about these things out loud publicly.
[01:46:27]  A lot of churches, the reason why you have such a wide swath is because it's never publicly talked about from the pulpit.
[01:46:33]  And that's why you have people all across the spectrum from public school and their eight year old has a smartphone and is playing Angry Birds during the service versus somebody else who's like a homeschool only family.
[01:46:47]  And part of the reason why you have that wide of a spectrum in some churches is because no one actually feels ostracized because the pastor strategically, like a politician, just doesn't talk about those subjects at all.
[01:46:59]  So, finding those things.
[01:47:01]  And then the last thing I was going to say is not just where you raise the kids, who you raise them with, getting in a good state, good town, good church, good school, but also preparing for their future financially.
[01:47:14]  One of the big things that my wife and I decided when we moved to Texas was to be.
[01:47:18]  With our family, because one, we just realized that we were training our children to move as far away from us as possible when they became adults.
[01:47:28]  And how were we training them?
[01:47:30]  We never said that.
[01:47:31]  We would never say that.
[01:47:32]  We don't want our kids to grow up and leave us.
[01:47:33]  We want to be close to our children, our grandchildren.
[01:47:36]  But that's what we were communicating by our example, right?
[01:47:40]  Mima and Papa and Grandma and Grandpa are coming and visiting a few times a year as much as they can.
[01:47:47]  Love us and love the grandkids.
[01:47:49]  But we live 1,300 miles away.
[01:47:52]  Both sides of our family lived in Texas and we were in California.
[01:47:55]  And we realized, what are we teaching our kids?
[01:47:59]  And then we just were like, no, family matters.
[01:48:02]  And so we made that part of the reason why we made the switch.
[01:48:06]  And then, what I was going to say in addition to that is so, right now, like my kids are seeing their grandparents on both sides and all their cousins.
[01:48:14]  We have 25 extended family members within a 12 mile radius.
[01:48:17]  They're seeing their family and their grandparents on both sides multiple times a week.
[01:48:23]  It's normative.
[01:48:24]  They're growing.
[01:48:24]  That's all they'll ever know.
[01:48:26]  That's all they'll ever remember.
[01:48:27]  We made that switch early while they were still young.
[01:48:30]  So, that's going to be largely ingrained in them.
[01:48:32]  So, not just where are we raising them.
[01:48:34]  But where are we setting them up to go once we're done raising them?
[01:48:38]  And the way we're setting them up, both by the priority of family, but then also by living in a red state in a place that is much more affordable than many other places in the country.
[01:48:49]  And then also the financial piece.
[01:48:51]  I am actively working even now to build capital so that I can help my son start a business, so that I can help each of my children with purchasing a house.
[01:49:02]  So that it's like, well, but they're not under your roof.
[01:49:05]  And especially once they get married, like your daughters, they're going to have.
[01:49:08]  Their own head of household, their husband, and he will trump you as dad.
[01:49:12]  Yes, and amen.
[01:49:13]  That's what the Bible teaches.
[01:49:14]  And I support it 100%.
[01:49:17]  I will not have the authority to tell them that they can't move away, but I can bribe them.

=== Pursuing Godly Manhood (05:33) ===

[01:49:21]  And I'm going to have a handsome bribe.
[01:49:23]  I'm going to look at that young man who's going to be my future son in law.
[01:49:26]  You know, he's dating, they get engaged.
[01:49:29]  And I'm going to say, listen, you're going to be the man of the house.
[01:49:33]  And my daughter will be yours.
[01:49:34]  She'll always be my little girl, but she will report to you first as the authority in her life.
[01:49:40]  And I will support you.
[01:49:42]  And whatever decision you make that's not inherently sinful.
[01:49:46]  That said, if you take my daughter and my future grandchildren across the country away from me, I will love you and I will come visit as often as I can.
[01:49:57]  But I'm not buying you a house.
[01:49:59]  You live here, you get all my love and support either way, but also you get a house.
[01:50:05]  You can just do things, turns out.
[01:50:07]  That's one of the things that you can do.
[01:50:08]  All right.
[01:50:09]  Are there any other that we have?
[01:50:11]  Trey Smith, Antonio.
[01:50:12]  Yeah, we've got one from Trey Smith for 20 bucks.
[01:50:15]  Thanks, Trey.
[01:50:16]  Uh, he says, Married too young and too soon are not the same.
[01:50:21]  One might be young, early 20s, and be well adjusted with a healthy attachment style and prudent using discernment.
[01:50:27]  Go find another person with those traits and get married.
[01:50:30]  Yes, amen.
[01:50:31]  Well said, Trey.
[01:50:33]  Uh, did we do Dapper Dan?
[01:50:35]  We did, we did, we did Dapper Dan, we did Dangerous Gentleman.
[01:50:38]  All right, that's it, we nailed it.
[01:50:39]  Okay, um, let's go ahead and call it a day.
[01:50:44]  Uh, one of these days, we'll see, but one of these days, we are going to try.
[01:50:48]  To get into the habit of a tight hour and a half.
[01:50:52]  That's our goal, right?
[01:50:54]  So we're kind of building up towards that.
[01:50:57]  And I think on Monday we went like two and a half hours.
[01:51:00]  It was long.
[01:51:01]  We.
[01:51:02]  Okay, we're doing a lot of work in that one.
[01:51:05]  You're right.
[01:51:06]  But yeah, that's it for today.
[01:51:07]  We're a little bit under time.
[01:51:08]  I'll end with this encouragement for a single minute that is a hard space to be in, especially if you want to be married.
[01:51:14]  I'll just say, put it this way I do not know any 40 year old millionaires.
[01:51:19]  That are healthy men that exercise, get out, and that are godly that are single.
[01:51:24]  You may be a single man in your 30s.
[01:51:25]  What do I do?
[01:51:26]  Where do I go?
[01:51:26]  This, that, or the other.
[01:51:28]  Well, maybe you pursue the basics.
[01:51:29]  You're just in an area, you're in a church, wherever it is in your life situation, and it's just not happening.
[01:51:35]  Well, pursue being a godly man.
[01:51:37]  The wealth that you can give then to the church or to maybe those that you care for, mentor, or adopt, that's a good thing.
[01:51:44]  Buffeting your body through self control and discipline, that's a great thing.
[01:51:48]  Being godly is a great thing.
[01:51:49]  So pursue those things.
[01:51:51]  And I would not be surprised.
[01:51:52]  I've known so many men that were in their 30s and they were not happy to be single.
[01:51:56]  And they were like, it's never happening.
[01:51:58]  I'm going to die alone.
[01:52:00]  And I know them, and they're celebrating their third wedding anniversary.
[01:52:02]  Not everyone, not every single one, but pursue the godly traits that are godly and make you masculine.
[01:52:08]  And I would not be surprised if, in time, what do you know?
[01:52:13]  I found a woman that says, hey, this man, he's older, but he's a good man and a godly man, and I want to join his home.
[01:52:19]  Yep.
[01:52:19]  And if you're a woman, the advice that I would give is twofold.
[01:52:22]  Number one, don't be a feminist, be godly, and don't be a feminist.
[01:52:25]  Number two, I know this one hurts, but I'm just, I'm tired of a lot of, you know, fathers and pastors and, People who genuinely love, but they don't have the heart to say it.
[01:52:36]  And so I'll say it.
[01:52:39]  Don't be a feminist, be godly.
[01:52:41]  But secondly, lose weight.
[01:52:45]  There are plenty of incredible, godly women who love the Lord and are not feminist.
[01:52:51]  And I just don't know what it is.
[01:52:53]  I can't figure it out.
[01:52:54]  And I still can't, you know, it's been this many years.
[01:52:56]  I'm trying to find a husband.
[01:52:59]  And honestly, and you can say, well, men, you know, are too vain or this or that or the other.
[01:53:06]  There are a lot of women who are overweight, and I understand that there are plenty of men who are overweight.
[01:53:12]  I understand, but it is different.
[01:53:15]  That man who is 50 pounds overweight, but makes $200,000 a year and has ambition and is godly with a decent personality and some humor to top it off, he will be able to get a bride because women are simply less visual.
[01:53:36]  Than men are.
[01:53:38]  Whereas the female equivalent, who is also godly and is feminine and these kinds of things, but she's over the woman who is overweight, her weight is going to hurt her more than the man.
[01:53:51]  That's not an excuse for, like Joel just said, that men can be fat.
[01:53:54]  No, men should be disciplined.
[01:53:56]  And if you're a man and you're fat, then that's a problem.
[01:54:00]  And you should work to fix that.
[01:54:03]  But the point that I'm making is.
[01:54:06]  I'm thinking of just every couple that, with every marriage I've ever officiated, which at this point is dozens.
[01:54:13]  And I'll just say this I have officiated happy couples and, on average, a lot more tubos on the groom's side of the aisle than on the bride's side of the aisle.
[01:54:25]  I've seen a lot of tubby men get married.
[01:54:28]  I have not seen a lot of women who are weighing more than they should get married.
[01:54:34]  Both should lose weight.
[01:54:35]  You will live longer.
[01:54:36]  Your life will be happier.
[01:54:38]  You will have more energy.
[01:54:40]  And it is godlier to have control over your diet and food.
[01:54:43]  That is not just like, well, it's not a moral justification.
[01:54:47]  Some are fast, some are thin.
[01:54:48]  No, you should be more.
[01:54:49]  No, there's a moral impetus.
[01:54:50]  Yep.
[01:54:51]  Okay, thanks for tuning in, and we'll see you guys again on Friday.