NXR Podcast - QUESTIONS - Can We Have The Lord’s Supper At Our Wedding?
Aired: 2022-07-07
Duration: 14:45


=== Lord's Supper at Weddings (05:02) ===

[00:00:00]  Hey guys, real quick before we get started, I have a small request.
[00:00:03]  If you've been blessed by our content and you like this show, would you take just a brief moment and leave us a five star review?
[00:00:09]  This is quite possibly the most effective thing that you can do to ensure that this content gets out to as many people as possible.
[00:00:17]  Thanks.
[00:00:21]  Lauren Schmidt says, What's the best argument against a bride and groom alone participating in the Lord's Supper at a wedding ceremony?
[00:00:30]  Fantastic question.
[00:00:32]  Question.
[00:00:32]  Let me go ahead and pull up a text here.
[00:00:33]  So, for this, we need one of the best texts.
[00:00:36]  It's going to be 1 Corinthians chapter 11.
[00:00:38]  Again, the question is from Lauren Schmidt.
[00:00:40]  Thanks for writing in, Lauren.
[00:00:41]  It says, What's the best argument against a bride and groom alone participating in the Lord's Supper at a wedding ceremony?
[00:00:48]  So, first, I'm going to assume with this question that what Lauren is saying is not just it being improper to administer the Lord's Supper at a wedding, but she's particularly, specifically talking about The Lord's Supper being administered at a wedding only to the bride and groom.
[00:01:07]  And that I would be strongly against.
[00:01:09]  I would be against both, but I would be more strongly against the Lord's Supper being given to the bride and the groom only.
[00:01:17]  And this happens at times in weddings.
[00:01:19]  As a part of the wedding ceremony, the bride and groom take the Lord's Supper to acknowledge that the Lord is a part of this covenant that they're making with one another.
[00:01:28]  I appreciate the intention behind it.
[00:01:31]  I think it's a good intention, but I do think that it's unbiblical, misplaced.
[00:01:35]  And that would be particularly wrong because if you have a Christian husband and wife getting married, I'm assuming that only a Christian husband and wife would really have the motivation to take the Lord's Supper in their wedding.
[00:01:46]  But that implies or assumes that if it's a Christian husband and wife, they probably have invited Christian friends and family.
[00:01:54]  There may be unbelievers present, but there are certainly some other believers that are present in the wedding ceremony.
[00:02:00]  So then what you have is you have two Christians being served the Lord's Supper while other Christians are spectating.
[00:02:08]  But not, they're being effectively barred from the Lord's table.
[00:02:12]  That's what you have happening.
[00:02:14]  So we have to be honest about it and call it what it is.
[00:02:15]  I know it's a beautiful symbol and all these kind of things.
[00:02:18]  And I have no doubt that if you've done this, you're listening, you did this at your wedding, I have no doubt that your intentions were good and you were simply ignorant on the subject and that it wasn't some overt rebellion in your heart against the Lord.
[00:02:29]  So, first and foremost, hear that.
[00:02:31]  I'm speaking with grace here and compassion.
[00:02:34]  I don't think that Christians do this.
[00:02:36]  It is a common practice, but I don't think that it is commonly done because of outright rebellion, but rather I think it's a matter of ignorance.
[00:02:43]  But that being said, what you inevitably are setting up is a situation where you have two Christians being served the Lord's Supper and a bunch of other Christians who are present at the wedding being effectively barred from the Lord's table.
[00:02:59]  And that is thoroughly unbiblical.
[00:03:02]  That is thoroughly unbiblical.
[00:03:03]  So let's look at this.
[00:03:04]  This is 1 Corinthians 11.
[00:03:08]  1 Corinthians 11 talks about head coverings and talks about the Lord's Supper.
[00:03:13]  So let's skip and look at the Lord's Supper.
[00:03:15]  Starting verse 17, 1 Corinthians 11, 17.
[00:03:18]  But in the following instructions, I do not commend you because when you come together, it is not for the better, but for the worse.
[00:03:25]  For in the first place, when you come together as a church, I hear that there are divisions among you.
[00:03:30]  So this could speak back to that bitterness, right?
[00:03:33]  That causes divisions and factions and defiles many.
[00:03:36]  So it could be there are divisions among you, talking about relational divisions because of sin.
[00:03:42]  But I think that the apostle is actually, I think he's including that, but I think he's also talking about.
[00:03:49]  Literal divisions, physical divisions, that the whole church is not coming together at the same time.
[00:03:56]  Because look at what he continues to say.
[00:03:59]  For in the first place, when you come together as a church, I hear there are divisions among you, and I believe it in part, for there must be factions among you in order that those who are genuine among you may be recognized.
[00:04:09]  I'm going to have time to talk about what he means with that.
[00:04:11]  Verse 20 now.
[00:04:12]  When you come together, it is not the Lord's supper that you eat.
[00:04:17]  For in eating, each one goes ahead with his own meal.
[00:04:22]  One goes hungry, another gets drunk.
[00:04:24]  What?
[00:04:25]  Do you not have houses to eat and drink in?
[00:04:28]  Or do you despise the church of God and humiliate those who have nothing?
[00:04:31]  What shall I say to you?
[00:04:33]  Shall I commend you in these things?
[00:04:35]  No, I will not.
[00:04:37]  All right.
[00:04:39]  So let me say this.
[00:04:40]  Part of what was happening in the church at Corinth is that the church was physically divided.
[00:04:47]  And they were doing this because they were sinfully divided, relationally divided, but they were deliberately showing up physically to the Lord's Day gathering at differing times.
[00:04:58]  Some were showing up early before others had a chance to get there.

=== Uniting the Divided Church (09:26) ===

[00:05:03]  And consuming all the Lord's Supper so that nothing was left for those who showed up later.
[00:05:09]  And that's so my point is part of division.
[00:05:13]  The Lord's Supper is meant to be a unifying sacrament.
[00:05:16]  Okay, so the signs and seals of the new covenant what we have is we have baptism, which is the initiating oath sign, and the Lord's Supper, which is the renewing oath sign.
[00:05:25]  Baptism is the initiating oath sign, the Lord's Supper is the renewing oath sign.
[00:05:29]  In baptism, we have the one joining the many.
[00:05:33]  One person making a credible profession of faith and public confession of faith, a public profession of faith, and being baptized into the Lord Jesus Christ and his body, the church.
[00:05:46]  So we have the one who joins the many.
[00:05:47]  In the Lord's Supper, we have the many who are made one.
[00:05:51]  Baptism, initiating O sign, the one joins the many.
[00:05:53]  The Lord's Supper, renewing O sign, covenant renewal ceremony, sacrament, where the many are made one.
[00:06:01]  We see this in 1 Corinthians 10, actually, where Paul talks about this unifying process.
[00:06:07]  Event of the Lord's Supper that has a unifying result that just as there is one loaf of bread, we who are many are one.
[00:06:16]  So, one of the purposes of the Lord's Supper is not a mere memorial.
[00:06:21]  Okay, so this gets into positions of the Lord's Supper.
[00:06:23]  I am not a mere memorialist.
[00:06:26]  So, I believe, as the scripture says, that as often as you do this, do it in remembrance of me.
[00:06:32]  So, when we take the Lord's Supper, we are looking back and remembering Christ, but that's not all we're doing.
[00:06:37]  We're also being knit together as the body of Christ.
[00:06:40]  Just as we who are many, or just as there is one loaf of bread, we who are many are made one.
[00:06:46]  So, in the partaking of the Lord's Supper, we are, it is a memorial, but not a mere memorial.
[00:06:53]  It's more than that.
[00:06:54]  So, one, we're looking back and remembering Christ and his sacrifice.
[00:06:58]  Two, we're also looking forward and proclaiming the Lord's death until he comes.
[00:07:02]  So, we look back and remember, we also look forward.
[00:07:05]  There's a prophetic function of the Lord's Supper where we proclaim to even kings and kingdoms to one another.
[00:07:10]  But also to the world, we proclaim the death of Christ until he comes.
[00:07:15]  So there's a prophetic forward proclamation, the memorial looking back in remembrance, but there's also the unifying of the body of Christ, just as there is one loaf of bread, we who are many are made one.
[00:07:29]  So it is therefore tragically ironic for the Lord's Supper to be taken in a spirit of division or to be taken in a practical method.
[00:07:43]  Of division.
[00:07:45]  For there to be a spirit of division, sin in people's hearts, relational division within the church as we take the Lord's Supper, which is meant to unite us, just as there is one bread, we who are many are made one.
[00:07:56]  That's one of the functions of the sacrament of the Lord's Supper, being joined together as the body of Christ, the many become one.
[00:08:04]  It makes no sense for there to be relational division, bitterness, and sin in our hearts as we partake of this sacrament that is meant to be unified, but it also makes no sense for there to be physical division.
[00:08:17]  And this is where lots of people, I'll lose you.
[00:08:20]  You won't agree with me.
[00:08:20]  But by conviction, I believe that the church ecclesia literally means assembly, right?
[00:08:26]  It's the called out ones, but it also means assembly, gathering.
[00:08:31]  The church is a gathering, a physical gathering.
[00:08:34]  And so I believe that multiple campuses are multiple churches.
[00:08:40]  So I'm against a multi campus model.
[00:08:42]  I also believe, to a lesser degree, but still true, that multiple services are multiple churches.
[00:08:49]  And some of you, I think, will agree with me that even if it's not in two separate buildings and two separate places, still two separate services, right?
[00:08:57]  Especially when the church starts to accommodate different styles of worship.
[00:09:01]  We have our traditional service at 9 a.m., and then we have our contemporary service at 11 a.m.
[00:09:07]  And it accommodates to what?
[00:09:08]  To different age groups, even.
[00:09:10]  So all the old people go at 9, all the young people go at 11.
[00:09:13]  And people are so ingrained in that rhythm that there's no cross pollination.
[00:09:20]  And you could be a part of a church of 500 people and only know half of the church.
[00:09:24]  You could go there for years and not know anyone in the first service because you go to the second service or vice versa.
[00:09:31]  And you're serving the Lord's Supper to half of the church, and then you're serving the Lord's Supper to the other half of the church.
[00:09:39]  I would say that that is divided.
[00:09:43]  That contradicts, it's ironic.
[00:09:45]  It contradicts one of the purposes of the Lord's Supper, which is to unite.
[00:09:49]  We who are many are made unite.
[00:09:51]  One.
[00:09:51]  And so I would say that if you're contemplating two services, you either need to cry out to the Lord and he would provide a larger meeting space for you so the church can continue to grow, or you could stop building the empire and start planting churches.
[00:10:07]  Just plant a church.
[00:10:09]  Well, there's too many people.
[00:10:10]  We can't.
[00:10:10]  Great.
[00:10:11]  Plant a church.
[00:10:12]  Or, well, we're not ready to plant a church.
[00:10:14]  Well, then great.
[00:10:15]  Try to find a bigger building.
[00:10:16]  Well, we can't find a bigger building.
[00:10:18]  Great.
[00:10:18]  Then maybe this is a providential opportunity in the sovereignty of God for you to partner with other.
[00:10:25]  Biblically faithful churches in your area and encourage people to join those churches.
[00:10:29]  Wouldn't that be a blessing to say, hey, we're not the only ones.
[00:10:32]  We're not the only ones in this city, in this place, who actually are faithful to Scripture.
[00:10:37]  Here are three other churches that we partner with in many ways.
[00:10:40]  And so if you're having trouble finding a seat because the Lord has been blessing us with numerical growth, then these are the other three churches that we would recommend for you to go and check out.
[00:10:50]  It's an easy problem to solve.
[00:10:53]  The difficulty is that people don't want to solve it, it's not that it's complex.
[00:10:57]  It's just that it goes against what often pastors and church leaders want.
[00:11:01]  They want big churches.
[00:11:03]  They don't want anything that would stop the growth of the church.
[00:11:06]  But I would argue that the Lord's Supper should be done together in a spiritual sense, a spiritual unity, not with divisions and factions, relational disunity, bitterness.
[00:11:18]  But also, it should be done practically in unity, not half of the church showing up at one time and the other half showing up later.
[00:11:25]  That is part.
[00:11:26]  I'm not saying that's the only thing, Paul.
[00:11:28]  I think Paul's talking about sin in people's hearts.
[00:11:31]  Relational division.
[00:11:33]  But I think you have to admit that showing up at two different times, so that some have the Lord's Supper and then there's nothing left for those who arrive at another time later, that's at least in the text.
[00:11:45]  It may not be the main point of the text, but it's at least included in the text.
[00:11:49]  There is spiritual division, relational division, but there is also practical division, physical, literal division.
[00:11:57]  And I think that in a wedding, if the couple is taking it and other Christians present are being Denied the Lord's Supper, they're being rejected effectively from the Lord's table, then you are ironically going against, you are contradicting one of the chief purposes of the Lord's Supper, which is to unite.
[00:12:16]  Beyond that, I would say better not to do the Lord's Supper in a wedding at all because the Lord's Supper does not belong to households, but it belongs to the church.
[00:12:24]  So the three sovereign spheres that God divinely instituted are the home, the church, and the state.
[00:12:30]  And God has given certain things, certain tools to each of these three spheres.
[00:12:34]  To the home, God has given the rod.
[00:12:37]  For training children.
[00:12:38]  And he's given other things as well.
[00:12:39]  To the state, God has given the sword to curb outward manifestations of evil, to punish evildoers, to exact justice.
[00:12:49]  But to the church, God has given the sword of the Spirit, or what we might call the keys of the kingdom.
[00:12:54]  That's Matthew 18, talking about church discipline, binding and loosing, and all that, it's not separate from, but all that is intrinsically tied to the Lord's Supper.
[00:13:04]  When you bind and loose, you are removing people from the Lord's table.
[00:13:08]  If you lose someone, if you bind them, you are bringing them near to the Lord's Supper.
[00:13:12]  So God has given the keys of the kingdom with church membership and excommunication, church discipline, and then tied into that the sacraments of baptism and the Lord's Supper.
[00:13:22]  That has not been given to the state.
[00:13:24]  It is improper for a governor to administer the Lord's Supper.
[00:13:27]  And likewise, even with a Christian family, it is improper for a father or a mother in the home to administer the Lord's Supper.
[00:13:34]  And a wedding is.
[00:13:36]  It is, even though it's a public event, many people are present, it is a household event.
[00:13:44]  It is the covenanting between two people, a man and a woman, and the Lord, covenanting with the Lord also, to begin to initiate a new household.
[00:13:53]  A wedding is not a church event.
[00:13:55]  The church should be involved, it should be involved, but we do not believe, we're not Catholics.
[00:14:01]  We do not believe that marriage is a sacrament.
[00:14:04]  We believe not in seven sacraments, but two the Lord's Supper and baptism.
[00:14:08]  I do believe that you should have a minister officiate, a minister of the gospel.
[00:14:12]  And ideally, your local pastor officiates your wedding.
[00:14:17]  So, I believe that the church is certainly involved in this, but the Lord's Supper is not given to households, it's not given to marriages, it's not given to weddings, it's given to the church.

=== Marriage vs Sacraments (00:16) ===

[00:14:29]  Thanks so much for listening.
[00:14:30]  But, real quick, before you go, do us a small favor take a moment and leave us a five star review if you enjoyed the show.
[00:14:37]  This is undoubtedly the best way that you can help us get this biblically faithful content to as many people as possible.
[00:14:45]  Thanks so much.