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April 12, 2018 - No Agenda

03:12:46

1024: Poop Particle

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Time	Text
	Oh, I gotta save face.
	Adam Curry, John C. Devorak.
	It's Thursday, April 12th, 2018.
	This is your award-winning Gitmo Nation Media Assassination, Episode 1024.
	This is No Agenda.
	Accepting cookie warnings that fill the page and broadcasting live from the Whorehouse Studios in the Garden of Amsterdam, London, and Gitmo Nation Lowlands in the morning, everybody.
	I'm Adam Curry.
	And from northern Silicon Valley, where everybody's kung fu fighting and they're fast as lightning, I'm John C. Devorak.
	It's Craig Vaughn and Buzzkill.
	In the morning.
	Nice.
	Now, that one on the fly, or?
	It came to me.
	Nice.
	Nice when that happens.
	You get a good one like that.
	Oh yeah, that was a gem.
	So every website...
	I can't imagine being any funnier.
	Yes, go on.
	Every website...
	Hey, wait a minute.
	What?
	You're in Holland and you went and you met the queen.
	And the king.
	Yeah, I did.
	Did you also go see any of the royalty there?
	See, I don't have my noisemakers.
	I left them in the room.
	Sorry, I can't do my walka walka sounds.
	I thought all of them were virtual.
	I didn't know you actually had any.
	No, the only thing I have is a bell.
	I just have a bell.
	You'll be playing that a lot today.
	Yeah, there you go.
	Yeah, it's top of the news here.
	I was headline news.
	No, you should post some of the articles.
	How about this?
	Google Adam Curry.
	You'll see it.
	I bing stuff.
	You're right.
	What am I even thinking?
	I'm sorry.
	Bing it, baby.
	Is that what you want to start with?
	I mean, not that it's like top of the news in America.
	Well, I think it gets it out of the way.
	I think people want to know.
	Yes, I was invited to the Outblinker's Lunch.
	An outblinker means you are a sparkler, a twinkler, something that you are a shiner, I guess a shiner, a shining star.
	What it means in the United States, an outblinker means that you're a passed out drunk in the alley.
	It's kind of the same thing in Holland, I think, except then you get to go visit the king and the queen.
	So there are about 25 people, and these are people who won interesting awards or achieved such things as the fastest man to row across the ocean single-handedly.
	What ocean?
	The Atlantic Ocean.
	No, actually, I think he went around the world.
	Yeah, he did multiple oceans.
	Wow.
	The guy must have huge arms.
	First of all, the guy was seven feet tall.
	And he was a beast.
	A beast of a guy.
	But then there's a top cop who's done something heroic.
	And there was the...
	It was very multi-culti.
	So you had actors, a couple of theater actors.
	Not really that well known.
	But it was obviously a very racist choice.
	The first black female to win a certain theater acting award.
	And it was almost presented like that.
	It's like, okay.
	How about just she was the actor who won the theater award?
	She was quite funny.
	Who else?
	The immigrant entrepreneur of the year.
	And then, of course, the Marconi Award winner.
	That's pretty much how it goes.
	Okay, so far so good.
	Yeah.
	Or not.
	Well, apparently this is a thing where people are hoping that they're on the list.
	And of course, I didn't know anything about it, and they didn't really explain that until a couple of emails back and forth with the ladies of the court, the King and Queen's court.
	So we get there.
	It's very similar to my experience.
	I'm smacking.
	I'm smacking.
	Shut up.
	Let me get through it.
	Okay.
	If you're going to interrupt me on every little thing, save that for the clips.
	No, I'm not going to interrupt you on every little thing, just every other thing.
	All right, well, let me just have a sip then.
	Onward.
	You always do this.
	When I'm excited about telling a story, you're always going to be a dick about it.
	I'm trying to calm you down so you don't start smacking and saying weird things.
	I'll be first.
	It's very different from the British Royal Palace.
	If you recall, yes, I'm collecting my experiences.
	If you recall, when I went there, there was a big reception room with all kinds of cool paintings.
	And this is really one of the palaces that I think they only do, the Dutch one, where they only do reception.
	So I don't think the king and queen stay there necessarily.
	So you go in, you go up the steps.
	It was kind of cool.
	They got the guards and they immediately put their swords up to their nose.
	There's a picture of that coming.
	Of course, I wasn't allowed to take any pictures inside.
	It's like, please, no pictures, no selfies.
	Why not?
	They said no selfies.
	Well, selfies is not the same as a picture.
	But no pictures.
	Just don't take any pictures.
	There's a group photo at the end of the thing.
	Yeah, I know.
	So it was from 12 to 2.
	I get there at 11.30.
	They'll say hi to everybody.
	They take you up the marble staircase.
	And there's a little welcoming drink, and you got all the dudes in their little outfits, you know, what would you call them, the henchmen who are serving drinks.
	And then you're, you know, you kind of, they didn't explain the protocol, though I read the protocol book.
	Let's back up and say, I'm imagining there's a big table.
	No, it's just standing, like a reception room.
	Okay, it's just a cocktail party situation.
	Yes, exactly.
	High top tables.
	I'm sorry, I'll try and do a better job.
	But still, it's one big white marble room with pillars and cocktail tables, high tops.
	High ceiling.
	Very high ceiling.
	Oh, it's a palace.
	And, you know, but it's kind of empty.
	There's really nothing of any merit, no super art that I noticed.
	It's just, nah, no big portraits.
	Just kind of bland.
	Kind of like a government function room.
	And the drinks, you know, no alcohol.
	It was Coke.
	Excuse me?
	Not at the stand-up cocktail part.
	So there's a cocktail party with no cocktails.
	Yeah, that's right.
	Yeah, that's exactly right.
	But they had Casas.
	You know Cassis?
	Yeah, Cassis.
	Cassis.
	Yeah, we call it Cassis here, which I hadn't had in years, so I had one of those.
	Then, you know, I had looked at the protocol book, because I think that's kind of proper, and the only rules kind of are you don't speak unless you're spoken to.
	You don't reach out your hand to shake their hand unless they do it.
	You know, they reach out to yours.
	If the king or queen stands up, you stand up.
	You wait until the king or queen says you can sit, and then you sit, and that's pretty much it.
	Well, I wanted to do it right.
	I wanted to be a good person.
	Of course you did.
	You looked like an idiot if you didn't, but I just imagined all these people standing scared to death stiff.
	So we're not really told anything, but please stand in a big U formation, all right, in a big U formation.
	In a moment, the king and queen will come out, and they will go around, and they'll say hi to everybody.
	And I was number two.
	Who's number one?
	Some business guy.
	Actually, I knew.
	I'd met him a long time ago.
	He'd won some business innovation award.
	It's kind of like, if you got an award, you can get to see the king and the queen.
	But it's got to be a funky one.
	Yeah, okay.
	So they come in, and, you know, first the king, and he says, oh!
	I'm so happy to meet you in person, finally.
	I was a little flabbergasted, really.
	I was like, nice to see you in person, too, Majesty.
	Oh, yeah, you have to say Majesty.
	My estate.
	And, you know, it's like, okay, that's kind of nice.
	And then the Queen.
	I think you should have roiled over that one.
	What do you mean, roiled?
	Oh, R-O-I. You should have...
	I wouldn't...
	I don't...
	Okay.
	What do you say?
	Something the Americans should not put up with this sort of majesty thing.
	It's like, oh, great leader.
	I wonder if Kim Jong-un expects that from Dennis Rodman.
	I don't think so.
	Maybe he does.
	I don't know.
	Well, I think that after this first meeting, next time I see the king, we might be able to hang out a little bit more informally.
	Hey, Wim Lex.
	The queen, nice to meet you.
	Nice to meet you.
	All right.
	Then go around.
	And then the king just said, oh, it's great to have everybody here.
	And I'm glad it's a small company.
	We'll go in.
	We'll make sure we sit with all of you.
	And let's have a nice lunch.
	And so the doors open.
	It was lunch.
	Yes, it was lunch.
	The doors open.
	And there are four round tables.
	And I had my seating assignment.
	I was sitting right next to the king.
	And the king was at table one, and then you had...
	The queen was at table three, and the idea was after the main course...
	Yeah, they roam around, sure.
	No, no, then they switch, exactly.
	Yeah, well, don't they have four tables?
	They also have two empty seats, and the other tables, they sit there once in a while?
	No, they had two of the ladies, you know, the ladies-in-waiting, whatever you call them.
	Hold on a second.
	Kind of the business ladies.
	You're telling me that two of the tables never had a visit from the queen or the king?
	Uh, no.
	Each?
	No.
	No, they switched.
	So, the other two...
	They went to every table, okay.
	Yeah, so...
	But there was no blank seats left for them.
	No.
	They had some stooge in their place.
	Well, not a stooge.
	A seat person, like in the Oscars.
	No, no, no.
	The ladies who were in charge of the social calendar.
	They're very...
	Highly educated, well-spoken, you know, fashionably dressed women who, you know, are very...
	No, they keep you busy.
	They animate you.
	They keep you totally engaged and they can answer all questions.
	But they do leave those seats and the king sits there eventually.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	But you either got the king or the queen.
	Not both.
	What was the...
	Well, of course.
	What was the rotation time?
	Was it 15 minutes?
	Was it 10 minutes?
	It was one rotation and it was after the main course.
	So I really got the king a long time.
	What do you mean?
	There's only one?
	I thought there has to be four rotations.
	Oh, okay.
	The king at one table, the queen at another table, the two ladies are at the other tables.
	Then the king and the queen go to the tables where the ladies are at.
	So you either get a king or a queen.
	Oh, so in other words...
	Are you with me?
	There's one rotation.
	The rotation is just...
	You get a king or a queen, you don't get the king and the queen.
	No, exactly.
	Well, that stinks.
	Not if you're at table one next to the king, it doesn't.
	Yeah, well, no, it's fine for you, but you never got to sit next to the queen.
	Well, I chatted up the queen for 20 minutes, but if you let me get through the story.
	But she wasn't at the table.
	It was better than that.
	Let me get through the story.
	Alright.
	I don't care about you.
	I'm sympathizing with the guests who got screwed in this deal.
	Yes.
	If you were a guest who started off with a lady-in-waiting and then you got the queen, I think you got gypped.
	Yeah, I agree.
	And I believe there was a hierarchy in all this, just looking at the seating arrangement.
	I was next to the king.
	Yeah, you've made that clear.
	And so we're all standing, and the king is standing, and he's waiting for everyone to come in.
	Everyone's behind their chairs, and the king says, please, everyone, oh, please have a seat, have a seat.
	I'll sit down in a minute.
	Nice, oh, okay, the king's kind of cool.
	So we all sit down, and there's a menu, and I took a picture of the menu.
	Actually, I took the menu home, but I took a picture of it if you're interested in the menu.
	I think you posted it.
	I certainly didn't.
	Oh, well, didn't you send a copy to me?
	Ah, yes, I did.
	Maybe.
	Really, for the wine.
	Did you see the wine they served?
	Uh, no, I don't remember it.
	Rully Premier Cru Raboursier?
	Olivier Le Flavre 2014?
	La Flava, was that the white wine?
	Was that a white wine?
	Yeah, white wine.
	And it felt a little champagne-y, a little...
	Petulant.
	Is that the word?
	Petulant.
	Yeah, it has a few bubbles.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Petulant.
	That's exactly it.
	I liked it.
	Well, yeah, because the maker of that wine, Le Flav, is one of the top growers, period.
	The Flavor Flav?
	Flavor Flav?
	Flavor Flav.
	He's the guy who's the top grower in Burgundy of whites in particular.
	Ah, because I looked it up and the bottle is only like 35 euros or something.
	It's not crazy expensive.
	No, it's a cheapie.
	Well, I mean, considering you're at an event with a king, but it is a cheap wine.
	I mean, what he should have served was a Montrachet.
	What a douche!
	But no, he served you a cheap rouille.
	I am going...
	Believe me, this will get out.
	What is that again?
	What was he supposed to serve?
	Montrachet.
	Montrachet?
	Okay.
	Yeah.
	I'll write him an email.
	La Montrachet, to be exact.
	Okay.
	Le Montrachet.
	Good.
	I'll send him a note.
	The food was nice.
	Did they get afforded?
	It seems to me.
	Maybe they're on a budget.
	Maybe.
	What was the red wine?
	I don't remember.
	No, there was no red wine.
	Oh, it's just the cheap white.
	That was that.
	The cheap white from one of the best winemakers.
	Oh, yeah.
	It was definitely from one of the best winemakers.
	I will say that that would be kind of a house wine at this place here that I'm living.
	Yeah.
	No offense to the king.
	Yeah.
	You know what?
	I think it is the absolute, it really shows you the Dutch.
	I'm going to get something from the best winemaker, and I'm going to make it really cheap.
	That's Dutch all the way.
	I have nothing but respect for the choice.
	Okay.
	Well, if it was tasty, it was tasty.
	That's all that really counts at the end of the whole process.
	Yeah, I liked it.
	I liked it very much.
	And, you know, they kept serving it.
	Yeah, your glass was half empty.
	Oh, that's a plus.
	Oh, yeah.
	Oh, yeah.
	The guys, bloop, bloop, bloop, right away.
	Right away, they kept serving it.
	They started off, and it was beautiful.
	I mean, it looked fantastic.
	I wouldn't say it was a great meal.
	It was kind of basic.
	But, you know, when you have lightly smoked dove with bird...
	Dove?
	Dove.
	You ate dove?
	Yeah.
	Dove.
	Dove?
	Dove, yes.
	We don't eat dove in this country.
	Well, maybe it pairs well with cheap wine.
	Cheap whites.
	Cheap whites.
	It pairs great.
	We had with, what is this, bird cream?
	I have no idea what bird cream is.
	Some of it landed on my car the other day.
	Horseradish.
	Horseradish shots.
	It actually says shots.
	Red beet, apple, mabre.
	Whatever that is.
	It was just a cute little...
	It was beautiful.
	It was twirly, twisty.
	What do you expect?
	Yeah, it was curly, twisty.
	It looked nice.
	It was art.
	It was art on a plate.
	And then we had...
	What is tarbo?
	What fish is that?
	What is that in English?
	I thought it was...
	What do they call it turbo here?
	Turbo?
	Okay, yeah.
	With a light sauce of beurre noisette, sugar snaps, it literally says sugar snaps on the menu.
	Yeah, maybe.
	Sugar snaps, yellow squash, gnocchi made of potatoes and peas.
	Peas in the...
	Oh, that's an interesting idea.
	Yeah, they're fried.
	They were deep fried, too.
	Yeah, it was good.
	Yeah.
	I like that one.
	What was odd about it is that they had the big plate with the main course on it, and they go to the king, and the king grabs the utensils, the serving fork and spoon, and he puts everything on his plate.
	They weren't serving, and so it went around.
	Everyone picked up the same serving things, which is really uncomfortable.
	Boy, that sounds really lame.
	Yeah, and the guy was on my left, and I know it's a weird stance, like, I just don't want to drop this piece of fish everywhere.
	I just want to transfer it onto the plate properly.
	It was very strange.
	I'm not sure why that etiquette is there.
	Probably some socialist concept, you know, that people should be doing more work.
	Something like that.
	That'd be my guess.
	Yeah, probably.
	Dessert was very interesting.
	It was a lemon curd marinated with an avocado marinated avocado on lemon curd and guacamole with vanilla ice cream.
	Hold on a second.
	Say the whole thing over again.
	For some reason, I short-circuited.
	Yes, I know.
	I'm translating on the fly, but I'm still better than Google Translate.
	Marinated avocado with lemon curd, guacamole, and vanilla ice cream.
	I heard the word avocado.
	I think you must be mistranslating it.
	Why?
	Why?
	What would you serve?
	Marinated avocado, which sounds like some, like, herring.
	No, marinate it in, like, vinegar.
	Oil and vinegar, so the way you...
	Okay, so it's actually avocado, like, in the salad.
	Yes.
	With oil and vinegar.
	Yes.
	And then lemon curd.
	Yes.
	On top of that...
	With guacamole.
	And then what else?
	Vanilla ice cream.
	Oh my god!
	It was dynamite!
	I find that so hard to believe.
	Well, you gotta try it.
	It was really...
	Well, it's nothing I'm gonna try, I can assure you.
	But...
	It's because I like sweet and sour.
	You know, I like sweet and sour chicken.
	Yeah, everybody likes sweet and sour.
	But this is a combination of...
	Avocado and ice cream itself is weird.
	Yeah, yeah.
	It looked weird on the plate.
	I'll give you that.
	I'll bet it did.
	They almost visualized it.
	It's like, what?
	And the lemon curd.
	What's the point?
	I don't know.
	Decoration maybe.
	Was there whipped cream?
	No, I don't recall.
	I don't think so.
	It doesn't say so, so I don't think so.
	A nice detail was people who had ordered vegetarian or, I think, vegan.
	Yeah.
	They had a whole separate menu, separate courses, just as beautifully made.
	It was nice.
	That was a nice touch.
	Anyway.
	Except for the removal of the flavor.
	Right.
	That was part of the deal.
	So the king, you know, he did a little speech for everybody.
	And what was nice about it is he said, in Holland we have a tradition, and you and I have spoken about this many times, you never want to grow higher than the other blades of grass because you get your head chopped off.
	He said, we're changing that and we want to celebrate.
	They always say that.
	They say that in Sweden too.
	We want to celebrate everybody who has done something special.
	By punishing them.
	So he goes around the table.
	Now I'm last in line because he went counterclockwise.
	He was very well informed and knew who everybody was and was asking questions.
	I have to say, he stayed a little too long with actually the rowing guy that just went on.
	People were kind of interested in him because he was at sea for, I don't know, 60 days or something.
	It's just an incredible story.
	At a certain point, the king even said, I'm sure the women were gathered around him.
	Oh, yeah.
	Oh, yeah.
	They loved him.
	Then, yeah, handsome, seven-foot-tall beast.
	Yeah, he's been at sea for years.
	There's all kinds of possibilities here.
	This guy.
	Even the king was like, okay, well, that was great, and then we're moving on.
	We have some other things to talk about.
	And he's going around, and it comes to me, I said, well...
	Majesty, I can't say I've done the same that many of these people at the table have done for the country, but at least I taught everybody how to pronounce Madonna properly.
	This got a laugh.
	Ah, you got a laugh at the king.
	Yeah, well, the king was like, yeah, but we know what you've been doing with Madonna.
	We know what you've been doing with digital media.
	And I was like, ah, yeah.
	And he said, you know, what was he talking about?
	Well, anyway, about the success of podcasting.
	And then the actress, very inappropriately, but for some reason, she says, oh, are you a millionaire?
	And I'm like, what?
	Yeah.
	What is she talking about?
	I don't know.
	Well, because, you know, it was like all this stuff.
	And the king was talking about how the awesomeness of me.
	And before I can say anything...
	And even so, even so, what a thing to ask somebody.
	Very inappropriate.
	I'm sure that she regretted it, but...
	I'm sure she did.
	Before I could say anything, the king jumps in and he says, of course he's a millionaire, because he was a billionaire and then he got into aviation with that helicopter company.
	Wow.
	Oh, man.
	He's a pilot.
	He flies.
	He gave you the needle there.
	Oh, but it was pilot humor.
	Because he flies.
	It is a pretty standard practice.
	It's fantastic.
	And he flies for KLM whenever he wants to.
	And he would actually tell me, I try to fly three times a week.
	He goes on regular round trips to Denmark or some other, within the EU mostly, 737s.
	You see, I try to get in three flights a week.
	Let me just see.
	I wrote down my notes.
	Let me see what else.
	First of all, the guy was just really nice and funny and not at all stuck up.
	Which I kind of expected a little bit of that.
	I'll maybe be kind of dumb.
	That is a little bit the impression that is built around him.
	You know, Prince Pills.
	The drunk guy who's always hanging out at parties.
	So I found him to be very knowledgeable.
	He said something interesting.
	We were talking about, you know...
	And this was just a table discussion about, you know, worldly events.
	And he said, yeah, we're very proud of Holland.
	We've never had an attack here.
	And, you know, that really shows you what a great country you are.
	And I was like, oh, man, shut up, Curry.
	Shut up, shut up, shut up.
	I'm just not going to say anything at all.
	So then, but it's great.
	I like this guy.
	You know, we were joking about all kinds of stuff.
	He's very funny.
	Oh yeah, at one point, I can't remember how it came up, but I said, you know, up until this lunch, Majesty, the most impressive meeting I ever had was Steve Jobs.
	And he says, oh man, things must be not going too well with Steve Jobs.
	I said, no, it didn't end up very well.
	I think he kind of realized when I said that, that he put his foot in it.
	Yeah.
	That was a little payback there for the aviation joke.
	The guy was nice.
	I like him.
	Good king.
	Very informed.
	You going to call him up?
	Give a chat once a week?
	You going to give him a call?
	Well, hold on.
	Did you get his number?
	Did you get his cell?
	It's not over.
	So, then I see the lady out of the corner of my eye.
	She's coming over.
	It's time for the switch.
	I'm like, okay.
	And I said, hey, King, it's time for the switch.
	Yep, we gotta go sit with someone else and be nice over there.
	And so I get up as the King gets up.
	Because I'd read the protocol book.
	Everyone else stays seated.
	Ah, you knocked it out of the park with that little movie.
	Oh yeah, and the king says...
	You read the protocol book and you knew that you were supposed to stand.
	And it gets better because the king says, no, no, no, sit down.
	I said, I read the protocol book.
	I'm supposed to stand up.
	He says, you're the only one.
	And he comes over, he hugs me.
	I'm blown away.
	That's cute.
	Yeah, it was cool.
	Now, so then one of the ladies in waiting is sitting there and we're chatting with her and I say, can I steal this fork?
	She said, no, no, no, you can't take anything.
	She said, really?
	Have you got any towels?
	No, no.
	Nothing you can take.
	So I did try.
	I wanted to be honest about it.
	I was allowed to take the menu.
	Great.
	And then...
	Why should I steal this fork?
	Yeah.
	They were beautiful.
	It was nice.
	Nice flatware.
	Yeah.
	That's probably why they didn't want you taking it.
	It was nice flatware.
	All right.
	So then we're...
	They should have a...
	Here.
	You should make send something to the suggestion box, and I think this is a good idea, because I know when you go to the White House, there's all kinds of little souvenirs you get to take with you.
	Yeah, you can steal stuff, yeah, like matches.
	Books and matches, all kinds of things.
	I think they should have a souvenir fork.
	Yes.
	Modeled after the real fork and have a bunch of nonsense kind of engraved on it.
	Yeah, a little, yeah.
	And in a little presentation box.
	Yeah, have the date on it.
	Exactly.
	Did you get anything like that?
	No.
	A ring around the head?
	A medal to hang off your chest?
	No.
	Anything like that?
	No, I think they send us a framed photo of the group photo.
	Oh, that stinks.
	That's like getting a little 8th grade Mrs.
	Rose.
	Then we walk out for coffee.
	And coffee, we're back in the cocktail reception area.
	And the king and queen are just mingling.
	And the queen comes over, and I'm talking with her for 20 minutes, just drinking coffee.
	And she's very tall, and I'd say, well, she had five-inch heels on.
	I looked very closely at what she was wearing, because I know I had to report to a number of women in my life.
	I mean, she's a very charming woman.
	Deep brown eyes, lots of wrinkles around the eyes, very little makeup, maybe just a base, almost nothing.
	Hair.
	This was not a big public event.
	I don't even know if she washed it.
	It looks stringy.
	No, I'm being honest.
	I'm being honest.
	Yeah, a little bit like a hippie girl.
	And by the way, about halfway through this 20 minutes, there was a hair flip, I just want to say.
	I'm like, oh, hair flip.
	I'm glad you noted that.
	That's good.
	It was right next to me.
	Did she hit you in the face with her hand or anything in the process?
	No, no, no.
	So she was wearing a gray pencil skirt.
	What bugged me was the jacket.
	These details aren't ancient.
	There are women who listen to the show, John.
	Think about the demo.
	The demo.
	Just for a second.
	Okay, she was wearing a gray pencil skirt.
	Yeah, the problem was the jacket was so ill-fitting.
	How many pencils does it make?
	So ill-fitting in the back that it was like she was holding her shoulder blades back and it was kind of perched back.
	This is unacceptable.
	It was!
	It's like no one looked at her and said, nah, that jacket's no good.
	Only vintage jewelry.
	Very understated, but not really pretty.
	Just looked like old grandma's old stuff.
	I'm sure it was grandma's old stuff.
	You know, the old queen.
	It was, yeah, it was grandma's old.
	Yeah, sure.
	But, you know, nothing, like, mind-boggling.
	Just, I wasn't like, eh.
	You know, wasn't really spectacular.
	That's just me.
	So then, but listen.
	Decadent.
	And she says, how's your daughter?
	She's great.
	Yeah, yeah.
	She's doing all kinds of fun things.
	Yeah, with comparing notes as parents about, you know, my daughters, you know, they're now, you know, 15.
	I think they know everything.
	And she says, you know, and your girlfriend or wife, girlfriend, you know, she works at Ronald McDonald House.
	Yeah, she runs the whole thing.
	So, yeah.
	And she knew everything, all this stuff, all these details.
	Yeah, they had the dossier open.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	The two of them got together before the thing?
	I said, what do you think we should talk about with these idiots?
	Well, I think they must have.
	I don't know.
	Let's see what we got here.
	I'm hoping.
	Look at this.
	Well, this Curry guy is kind of interesting.
	Then we all threw the Illuminati triangle and we went downstairs for the group's photo.
	And this is what I missed.
	I guess people knew about the group photo.
	Because everyone's like, well, I was chatting with the queen, and then all of a sudden, pretty much everyone's gone except me, the queen, and the king who's standing behind her.
	He says, Maxima, it's time for the group photo.
	And then, oh, shit, then we start walking downstairs.
	But of course, everyone ran down because if you're first, then you get to sit next to the king and the queen.
	Yeah, but you get to hang out with him.
	Right, but I didn't know about this, so we're walking down.
	Maxima goes down first.
	The king is walking next to me.
	We're still talking about flying.
	And so, of course, I'm stuck in the back behind what looks like a corpse.
	You were hanging out with a corpse?
	No, she was in front of me.
	I'm not sure what her act was, but if you see the photo, it's like, where's Curry?
	You know, half of my head is obscured by a dated lady who looks like she's dead.
	I was like, oh, damn it.
	I didn't get the good photo.
	And, you know, then we do the photos.
	And then it's, I tell you, it's two minutes to two.
	Everything's like clockwork.
	And then everyone says goodbye.
	And then you're out on the street.
	Well, it sounds like a good afternoon.
	It was a great afternoon.
	I had a lot of fun.
	I did.
	And I appreciate it.
	It made me look like a superhero here.
	People can't believe it.
	Everybody wants to know, what were they like?
	It's very odd.
	That's the oddest part.
	Yeah, I guess.
	Well, I think, did you get his number?
	The question I asked earlier, you told me that you were going to answer that, but you never did.
	I do not have his number, but my feeling is I could probably reach out to him and at least give him the fork idea.
	Fork idea would be good.
	Yeah, but I think they would appreciate that.
	You know why?
	I have a feeling if I send them the fork idea, they might just send me a fork.
	Well, that's good too.
	Yeah.
	That works for you.
	That's what I mean.
	That's what I mean.
	Well, I think you two should hang out.
	I'd like to.
	Yeah.
	You could corrupt him with no agenda stuff.
	Oh, my God.
	I had to bite my tongue.
	I'm like, I'm not doing this.
	I'm not going to do this.
	I'm not going to do it.
	It's better to have a 30-minute story on the show than to, you know, be thrown out of the palace.
	Get thrown out of the place.
	Exactly.
	Guards!
	Take him away!
	Hey, did anything else happen?
	Yeah, Zuck.
	Actually, I watched all of it.
	I watched all of it.
	I'm glad you got, I got a few clips I thought were important.
	He got a few clips.
	Clips were no good.
	He's no good.
	I mean, most of the time, he's saying senator and congressman.
	You know, somebody asked the question, well, senator, senator, senator, congressman, congressman, congressman.
	He got so robotic about it when he started to talk about it to a woman.
	He said, congressman, I mean congresswoman.
	Congressman, I mean congresswoman.
	I was actually thinking we should address each other whenever we talk.
	Like, podcaster, let me tell you about what's happening in the news.
	You just want to call each other podcaster.
	Podcaster.
	Hey, podcaster.
	So I used the phrase Zucky.
	Yes.
	And I didn't get this on, I really am remiss for not catching this, but during the live online feed, Savannah Guthrie called him that.
	You know, I saw this catch on in other places.
	I thought you had gotten it from somewhere else.
	I thought, no, that's not like you.
	That's where I got it from.
	When I heard Savannah Guthrie say it, and I didn't get it on, and I was really irked that I didn't have a recorder running because it was live stream, and there's no way of backing it up or anything.
	I hate it when that happens.
	And so she says, Zucky.
	I'm thinking, what?
	Who calls him Zucky?
	What kind of news person are you when you do that?
	Isn't there some kind of ethics rule against doing that as a journo?
	Well, we've been catching a lot of these guys saying weird stuff, Insta, and things like that.
	So I think journalism is out of control.
	Well, it's also part of the abreeves.
	I think it is part of the abreeves.
	But Zucky...
	I mean, Zuck is the...
	Zuck is the abreef, yeah.
	Yeah, that's the abreef.
	In fact, I do want to start off with this...
	I thought this was...
	I only found this in Vogue magazine.
	And apparently it appeared in the 2010 New Yorker profile.
	Apparently around 2004, one of his pals saved his DM's...
	And they gave it to the New Yorker for this profile in 2010, and it was about when he first started off the face bag, and the conversation was over text, text message went as follows.
	Zuck, after telling this pal of his that he's starting this thing up, he's got all these different people at Harvard that are signed in, he says, yeah, so if you ever need info about anyone at Harvard, just ask.
	I have over 4,000 emails, pictures, addresses, SMS. The friend says, what?
	How did you manage that one?
	Zuck says.
	People just submitted it.
	I don't know why.
	They quote-unquote trust me, dumb fucks.
	You've never seen this?
	I've seen this around.
	I haven't seen it before.
	And so this is going around in Vogue magazine reprise it.
	And I saw and I thought, You know, this is kind of summarized the whole thing to me.
	Yeah.
	And it has to be kind of taken.
	I'm sure that's exactly what he was thinking.
	He was saying, look at what's going on.
	It's because it's all happening.
	And after his face mash, you know, this is what he got busted for that or something.
	He probably got called in.
	And there was one of the congressmen did ask about face mash mash.
	And I like the way Zuckerberg is very well briefed.
	Unfortunately, he was so well briefed that they convinced him to say senator and congressman and senator and congressman.
	Well, he was also using that for thinking time.
	Oh, obviously.
	Yeah.
	That and his well at Facebook.
	He was spending a lot of time.
	But let's listen to the face for people out there who don't know about this.
	Zuckerberg does a very good job of continually referring to it as a It wasn't a prank.
	Yeah, I'm sorry.
	Go on.
	I was thinking it was more like he could have evolved that into hot or not hot.
	Before I go into my question, what was Facemash and is it still up and running?
	No, Congressman.
	Facemash was a prank website that I launched in college, in my dorm room, before I started Facebook.
	There was a movie about this, or it said it was about this.
	It was...
	Unclear truth.
	And the claim that FaceMash was somehow connected to the development of Facebook, it isn't.
	It wasn't.
	Just coincidental.
	The timing was the same, right?
	Just coincidental?
	It was in 2003.
	Okay.
	I took it down and it actually has nothing to do with it.
	You put up pictures of two women and decide which one was the better, more attractive of the two.
	Is that right?
	Congressman, that is an accurate description of the prank website that I made when I was stalking.
	Before we go any further, just some general observations.
	Before we go any further, did you get the spreadsheet from Eric?
	Yes.
	I didn't.
	You can forward it to me, please.
	Okay.
	All right.
	Some general observations.
	The dude's in a suit.
	Let's just start with that.
	Yes, and he's sitting up very straight.
	Well, that's kind of his deal.
	Yeah, he's just straight.
	He's straight.
	I can't sit up any straighter than this.
	The dude is also clearly on the spectrum.
	We knew this.
	The dude?
	Yeah, he's a dude.
	I would say the general atmosphere, and by the way, the woman in the green behind him who was signaling and laughing and smirking and very distracting.
	Yeah, she was a scene stealer.
	Yeah, she must have been one of the lawyers, I'm kind of guessing.
	And yeah, just, I don't know, she was just kind of annoying.
	Very annoying.
	Very annoying.
	Yes, and then the whole kind of the chuckling, the laughing.
	What is it with people who have a lot of money?
	Because I think that's the only thing, really.
	The incredible wealth of Zuckerberg must be the main thing.
	Which was achieved in less than 15 years.
	Well, yeah, there's that.
	It's like, what?
	Okay.
	Yeah.
	I just found it in general, just to hear everyone always, whenever you said something, it's a situation where the crowd is continuously looking for the laugh.
	You know what I mean?
	The crowd is so jacked up.
	Yes, I noticed this and I've seen it before and I think you're dead honest.
	It's got something to do with, you know, it's some sickness and I can't put my finger on it.
	Why everybody's...
	So giddy.
	Why everybody's doing that, but they do that.
	It's like a...
	I think it's a throwback to tribal era or something when somebody was like one of these guys that had a lot of power.
	Zuckerberg has a lot of power.
	It could be.
	And of course, money is one part of the power equation.
	Yes, money.
	And then running this company is another part.
	I guess the same reason I'm all giddy about the king, really.
	Yeah, you're all jacked up.
	Yeah, I am.
	I don't blame you.
	It was a kick.
	You had to have fun.
	You never know it.
	I doubt it, by the way.
	You could be buddies with that guy.
	Sure.
	I used to actually have to send money to him in taxes.
	I'm not exactly a friend in that regard.
	Hey, man!
	Get your hand out of my pocket.
	But otherwise, yeah, I can see we could be buddies.
	I don't know about Zuckerberg, Zucky.
	I think it'd be funny if you got together with the king and then he says to you, he says, is there any way you can introduce me to Patricia?
	Come on.
	All right.
	You are the worst.
	You are the worst.
	Okay.
	Those observations.
	Did you get the picture of his notes?
	No, I saw the article about it, but for some reason I got distracted and I never looked at the picture of the notes.
	It's pretty good.
	They were put together by the people behind him.
	Yes, it's in the show notes, nashownotes.com.
	But the only thing that was really interesting about it, about those notes, is under GDPR, the Global Data Protection Regulations, which are now in effect in the EU, which we'll talk about in a bit.
	He, on his paper, it said specifically, do not say we are already implementing GDPR. Or, you know, because it came up somewhere, and someone said, well, what do you think of the Europeans?
	Yeah, the Europeans get it right.
	Yeah, it did come up a couple times.
	Yeah, everyone's laughing about it.
	But he specifically had in his notes, do not say, hey, we're already doing all this stuff.
	Then, you know, and he steered away from that.
	I mean, you know what?
	Above all, for the dude's age, I think he did a pretty good job, really.
	I think he did a great job.
	Yeah.
	I'll say that.
	But it's still creepy.
	It's still a creep.
	Yeah, of course.
	But if it were me, first of all, think about the Tourette's that would be going on there.
	Oh, yeah.
	It'd be great.
	No.
	No one will understand what I'm saying.
	Like, we're too distracted.
	We can't understand you.
	The hell's wrong with this guy?
	He's got to be just guilty.
	Take him away.
	Well, let's back it up a little bit and do a story that just came out because this is a California story and I want to play it so we know what's going on.
	All these companies have to deal with California.
	Oh, this is the new California law?
	Yes.
	And this is like the EU and the EU because of the internet.
	If it goes into California, you have to obey California law.
	So you can't make a California version.
	No.
	You can't make a European version.
	You do one thing.
	So, okay, whatever you want us to do, we have to do it everywhere.
	And let's play this Zucky California Privacy Act.
	We have some new details tonight about Facebook's about Facebook.
	The social media giant announced late today it no longer opposes a ballot measure that would give consumers more privacy protection.
	ABC 7 News reporter Katie Marzullo has the story.
	Facebook has dropped its opposition to the California Consumer Privacy Act.
	In a statement, a company spokesperson said, We took this step in order to focus our efforts on supporting reasonable privacy measures in California.
	We talked with the president of the Californians for Consumer Privacy via Skype.
	Facebook has seen the light and they realize that consumers are demanding privacy now.
	And I am hoping that some of these other corporations follow suit.
	The Privacy Act would let people see what personal information businesses are collecting and allow consumers to tell corporations not to sell their information.
	Companies, including Google, continue to oppose the measure through the Committee to Protect California Jobs.
	In reaction to Facebook dropping out, a committee spokesperson said in a statement, it is unsurprising that proponents of the so-called California Consumer Privacy Act are looking to distract from their deeply flawed initiative that will do enormous harm to the California economy while not protecting anyone's privacy.
	Professor Larry Sokolov said this is a fascinating time.
	People are aware that they've given something up and now they're trying to figure out what they want back.
	Proponents of the Privacy Act are still collecting signatures.
	They'll learn in June if the measure qualifies for the November ballot.
	In San Jose, Katie Marzullo, ABC 7 News.
	Okay, let me get this straight.
	So what you kind of said in your intro is that because of the EU, which as we know is run by the Germans, it's the German Reich.
	The German Empire.
	The German Empire.
	We'll call it the New German Empire.
	Yes, NGE. NGE, yeah.
	I like it.
	The New German Empire.
	And California is modeling itself because of the companies there after the New German Empire.
	Of course.
	They were right on the lawn.
	I can't believe I still have this clip.
	But it doesn't get to the hook fast enough.
	No, it doesn't.
	All right.
	Anyway, the dead Kennedys knew a long time ago.
	California, you brought us!
	I have the key in my back, Nancy!
	All right.
	Now, a couple of things about that clip.
	One is Google proves itself to be the douchebags that they are.
	Yeah.
	Not realize...
	I hope they watch this because they're next in line.
	Oh, for sure.
	They better be.
	And this Committee to Protect California Jobs, or this whatever it's called, this...
	The Committee to Protect California Jobs is against this Privacy Act thing, saying that it'll kill jobs and it'll ruin the economy.
	It makes no sense.
	It probably won't kill jobs.
	It'll probably add jobs because you need more jobs that take care of these consumer complaints, or they want to have their data and all the rest of it.
	You can get your data off of Facebook, which Zucky made a big point about in his hearings.
	You can't do that with Google.
	Well, you know, the difference is, and it's very interesting to be here in the EUs at this moment, because they just now are, everyone's going to have to start to comply with the global data protection regulations.
	Any website that I go to, actually, I did not sign into Google Specifically, so I could tell you the experience, if I go to google.com right now on a browser that I haven't used first, I can't actually search for anything.
	I get a big pop-up in the middle of the screen.
	It says, before you continue, to be consistent with data protection laws, we're asking you to take a moment to review key points of Google's privacy policy.
	This isn't about a change we've made.
	It's just a chance to review some key points.
	We need you to do this in order to continue to use Google services.
	Next.
	Click Next, a privacy reminder, and then...
	They did that, wait a minute, they did that here recently, because I went through the same exact thing.
	Well, I hadn't had this happen, because I've been using this in the U.S., and it hadn't happened.
	This is data we process when you use Google.
	Why we process it.
	Combining data.
	Then there's this whole thing.
	Learn how Google uses data to improve your experience.
	My favorite.
	Improving my experience.
	And then how you decide.
	And now it gets complicated.
	Now there's more.
	I like that.
	So then in order to now use Google services, I have to click I agree.
	But I would have to go and look at all these different links and then tip.
	If you sign into your Google account before agreeing, we'll remember your choice across all your signed-in devices and browsers.
	Oh, I guess you can sign in, but you still can't use Google Search.
	And then there's other options.
	And then there's a whole bunch of other customizing settings and it's just like, ah, or I agree.
	So you know what's going to happen.
	Oh yeah, this is the same problem.
	This is a problem.
	The EU's got to put a stop to it.
	I think the one thing that I came away with Because a lot of people kept bringing it up, including Lindsey Graham, who took the EULA and, I guess, printed it out.
	Yeah, yeah.
	I saw that.
	You know, 15-point type or something, so it was really huge.
	And is to get rid of this EULA and the whole way it operates.
	Well, I think a lot of the senators were focused on that very point.
	I think a lot of them were, and some of the congressmen.
	But the congressmen were a little more interesting because they would bring stuff up.
	Another thing that's got to change, I should mention, is the...
	Is this time limitation on these speakers?
	Yeah.
	It's like, I can't.
	Let me ask you a question.
	What you got to do, I'm going to know, can you do anything about this situation, A, B, and C? Don't answer that because I'm running out of time.
	So they just go on to harangue the guy.
	Well, how about this?
	They need to limit the number of people who are questioning.
	That was the problem.
	That's never going to happen.
	What they can do is they can limit them to one minute of questions.
	But their time isn't used up by the answer.
	Well, I don't know.
	I mean, unless you want to recover your time, reclaim your time.
	Yeah, but Zuckerberg would always say, you know, the basic service is people want to share, they upload their photos, but it would keep going back to that.
	And then, you know, at a certain point...
	Oh, no, he had talking points.
	Yeah, filibustering.
	It's like, okay, we get it.
	That's not the data we're talking about.
	We're talking about some very different data.
	Can I just play two clips?
	Go play it.
	Okay, this is Blackburn.
	Senator Blackburn talking about censorship first.
	These were just the things that I thought were kind of decent questions and were an answer that interests us.
	We've done one hearing on algorithms.
	I chair communications and technology subcommittee here.
	We're getting ready to do a second one on algorithms.
	We're going to do one next week on prioritization.
	So I'd like to ask you, do you subjectively manipulate your algorithms to prioritize or censor speech?
	Nice.
	Finally, someone's asking some real questions.
	Congresswoman, we don't think about what we're doing as censoring speech.
	That's a great answer.
	We don't think about what we're doing as killing people.
	We think about it as human resource management.
	There are types of content like terrorism that I think that we all agree we do not want to have on our service.
	I heard this once.
	I heard it a thousand times.
	Because that was his talking points.
	It's literally on the picture.
	Talk about terrorism and sex trafficking.
	Terrorism that I think that we all agree we do not want to have on our service.
	So we build systems that can identify those and can remove that content, and we're very proud of that work.
	Let me tell you something right now.
	Diamond and Silk is not terrorism.
	Now...
	Before I play the next clip.
	Very disappointing to me because it's just accepted like it's the most normal thing in the world.
	But we have AI tools.
	We have AI tools.
	Our AI tools.
	Excuse me.
	Excuse me, Mr.
	Zuckerberg.
	Zucky!
	Can you explain what AI tools are and how they work and what they do?
	Because all I hear is your AI tools aren't working and you're hiring 20,000 people to be your AI tools.
	We cannot accept this bull crap.
	We have AI. You don't have AI. You don't have it.
	No, they don't.
	Nobody does.
	Skip logic is the best you have.
	Here's Blackburn with, I think, a perfect analogy.
	By the way, she's not the only one who defended Diamond and Silk.
	I know.
	I know.
	But she was, without defending them, she was saying, hey, they're not terrorism, so, you know, what is your problem?
	And when I got into, well, of course you don't want hate speech.
	Well, we have AIT rules for hate speech.
	I mean, this is a really deep conversation that needs to take place outside.
	I mean, these idiots don't know anything about it.
	As far as I'm concerned, it's not really real, other than skip logic trees.
	You know, oh yeah, there's a little magical neuron that identifies, sure.
	But hate speech, are you kidding me?
	You know, this is the most subjective thing in the world, but yet your AI tools are going to do this without bias.
	I mean, it just doesn't exist, to my knowledge, and I think I'm pretty knowledgeable about it.
	Your tech press has failed you, people.
	The tech horny have only been jacking off to the iPhones, have never actually told you about anything that's happening, and Blackburn understands it.
	Mr.
	Zuckerberg, I tell you, I think your cozy community, as Dr.
	Mark Jamieson recently said, is beginning to look a whole lot like The Truman Show.
	Where people's identities and relationships are made available to people that they don't know.
	See, this is a very good analogy.
	This, I think, helps people understand, if they've seen The Truman Show, which I just recently re-watched, they're like, oh, wait a minute, wait a minute.
	So it's like having a whole audience who can see everything I'm doing, the people I'm talking to, the relationships, except this audience is, I don't know, advertisers, you know, intelligence, who knows?
	Yeah.
	And then that data is crunched, and it is used, and they are fully unaware.
	Okay.
	I'm sorry.
	That's unacceptable, Blackburn.
	I mean, I know what you're trying to do for your constituents and all that, but that's as bad as saying glitch.
	Yes, and then the data is crunched.
	Okay.
	Okay.
	Beginning to look a whole lot like the trend show.
	I'm sorry.
	Rewind it too far.
	Where people's identities and relationships are made available to people that they don't know.
	And then that data is crunched and it is used and they are fully unaware of this.
	So I've got to ask you, I think what we're getting to here is, who owns the virtual you?
	Who owns your presence online?
	And I'd like for you to comment, who do you think owns an individual's presence online?
	Who owns their virtual you?
	Is it you or is it them?
	Congresswoman, I believe that everyone owns their own content online.
	And that's the first line of our terms of service.
	See, again, he's going straight to, yeah, you own your own content, sure.
	But she asked specifically about the crunched, the data.
	Hey, the new from Crunch Bar.
	If you read it, it says that.
	And where does privacy rank as a corporate value for Facebook?
	Congresswoman, giving people control of their information and how they want to set their privacy is foundational to the whole service.
	It's not just an add-on feature or something we have to comply with.
	The reality is, if you have a photo, if you just think about this in your day-to-day life...
	I can't let you filibuster it right now.
	I can stitch one of mine who's a benefits manager brought up a great question in a meeting at her company last week.
	And she said, you know, healthcare, you've got HIPAA, you've got Gramm-Leach-Bliley, you've got the Fair Credit Reporting Act.
	These are all compliance documents for privacy for other sectors of the industry.
	She was stunned.
	I'm stunned that there are no privacy documents that apply to you all.
	And we've heard people say that, you know, and you've said you're considering maybe you need more regulation.
	What we think is we need for you to look at new legislation.
	And you're hearing there will be more bills brought out in the next few weeks, but we have had a bill, the Browser Act, and I'm certain that you're familiar with this.
	It's bipartisan, and I thank Mr.
	Lipinski and Mr.
	Lance and Mr.
	Flores for their good work on this legislation.
	We've had it for over a year, and certainly we've been working on this issue for about four years.
	And will you commit to working with us to pass Privacy legislation to pass the Browser Act.
	Will you commit to doing that?
	Congresswoman, I'm not directly familiar with the details of what you just said, but I certainly think that regulation in this area...
	Let's get familiar with the details.
	Let's get social!
	We need some rules and regulations.
	This is only 13 pages.
	The Browser Act is 13 pages so you can easily become familiar with it.
	And we would appreciate your help.
	And I've got to tell you, as Mr.
	Green just said, as you look at the EU privacy policies, you're already doing much of that.
	If you're doing everything you claim.
	Because you will have to allow consumers to control their data, to change, to erase it.
	You have to give consumers opt-in.
	And the Browser Act stands for Balancing the Rights of Web Surfers Equally and Responsibly.
	And it is 13 pages.
	It's very simple.
	It basically says anything that comes in and out of that browser, you should be able to delete on the server end, which is almost a technical impossibility, it seems.
	Well, not impossibility, but just knowing what comes out and is logged and stored and crunched.
	You know, you should stop there and make a note.
	The government itself has demanded that people keep these logs and all the stuff that now they want to remove.
	Well, you have to have the right to remove it.
	The right to remove it doesn't mean it's going to get removed because the government wants to keep this information for the Homeland Security folks.
	And the intelligence agencies.
	Sure.
	So why don't these congresspeople get their act together and realize what's going on here?
	It's got conflicting interests everywhere.
	Well, we also have a responsibility, and I'm going to say that our responsibility is to have a browser that doesn't blow all of our information out there.
	And this is why I like the Brave browser, because that's part of their idea, Is keep all that information in and only give certain.
	Then you at least have control over what you're giving them.
	You do have that control.
	And just because we accept Chrome and all these shitty browsers.
	People use Google.
	People use Chrome.
	People use Edge.
	Well, I use all the browsers and I use Brave.
	I've been using Brave more often now that I recognize how it handles ad blocking.
	Uh-huh.
	Pretty good, huh?
	I normally was using Firefox, but now I'm using Brave a little more because with Firefox, the ad blockers, which are somewhat of a scam because the ad blocking companies...
	Yeah, Ghostery.
	They're an ad company.
	Yes, an ad company.
	It's an advertising company.
	But they block ads, they block ads, and then you go to certain publications if you're going down a news list to get some ideas.
	There's a lot of these...
	Actually, most of the newspapers are, hey, hey, you're using an ad blocker.
	Hey!
	And then you have two options, some like Forbes.
	Yeah, don't block on this page for this moment.
	Forbes just cuts you out.
	No, you get rid of the ad blocker.
	We're not fooling around.
	With Brave, what Brave does is it somehow signals the publication that, hey, no, there's no ad blocker.
	No!
	And then it takes the – it itself takes the ads and buries them someplace so you never see them.
	So it does some sort of a virtual ad block.
	No, no.
	It proxies.
	Yeah, okay.
	That's what I meant.
	Yeah, it proxies the actual TCP into the bit bucket and so you just never see it.
	It's gone.
	Yeah, it's done.
	All I know is I don't see the ads.
	And so the ads are gone and it's like – but these guys think they're delivering the ads.
	So they're getting – which is again some sort of – which is really – Something scammish about that because now the poor company paying for these ads to be displayed.
	They're getting gypped.
	There's scamming and advertising?
	I'm shocked.
	I'm shocked, I tell you.
	Hey, guess what I found out?
	Milk goes bad if you leave it out.
	Shocked again, I tell you.
	Yeah.
	So that's our responsibility.
	It has issues, of course.
	It takes a while to build a good browser.
	But the idea they have behind it is we will crunch the numbers in our own browser and then we'll make a set of what they call indications available to companies and advertisers saying, okay, I'll give an indication if I'm interested in some kind of sports-related thing.
	It would But it would never be the raw data.
	It would be our own version of what they use internally in their thousand points of light, of data points.
	White male, old guy, straight, looks at sailboats.
	That's their data points, but we would have them.
	That's the thing.
	All you need is, well, you need a lot more, but having our own browser that you control what you're sending, and this is the start, where they already think they're serving you ads and we're already effectively filtering them out.
	Win for us!
	Works for me.
	Yeah, watch the CEO of the company get picked up for kiddie porn.
	Oh, something, yes.
	They're not going to stand for this.
	They're going to have to do something.
	He should get some insurance.
	Anyway, back to the clips.
	But yeah, she was good.
	There's another woman, I didn't get her name, I forgot it, but she's the one I think gave him the best hard time.
	This is the hostile congresswoman, and she just goes on and on.
	She just goes off on him, saying all kinds of crazy stuff.
	And every time he tries to respond, she just plows through it because she doesn't got time.
	Again, a flaw in the way this works.
	You are collecting personal information on people who do not even have Facebook accounts.
	Isn't that right?
	Congresswoman, I believe...
	Yes or no?
	Congressman, I'm not sure.
	I don't think that that's what we're tracking.
	I don't think that the average American really understands that today, something that fundamental.
	And that you're tracking everyone's online activities, their searches.
	You can track what people buy, correct?
	Congressman, you're collecting that data, what people purchase online.
	If they share it with us.
	Because it has a share button, so it's gathering.
	Facebook has the application.
	In fact, you've patented applications to do just that, isn't that correct?
	To collect that data.
	I don't think any of those buttons share transaction data.
	You watch where we go.
	Senator Durbin had a funny question yesterday about where you're staying and you didn't want to share that, but Facebook also gathers that data about where we travel, isn't that correct?
	Congresswoman, everyone has control over how that works.
	It goes on.
	But she did bring up the point.
	Stop.
	I just want to say something.
	That is not true.
	Because I have location sharing turned off.
	I went to College Station.
	Somehow that showed up on one of my places visited, which I had almost no data.
	Once in a while, this one data point.
	And I guess they're getting it from Wi-Fi or wherever.
	But it's not true that I have the capability to turn that off.
	Lie!
	Yeah, most of this was a lie.
	That was a lie, and you actually bitched about this already.
	Yeah.
	And she does point out, and a bunch of people, because I said, I'm not a Facebook user.
	You know me.
	Here's me.
	I'm not a Facebook user.
	Perfect.
	You're perfect for Congress.
	And so I got two or three notes from some high-end guy, dude's name band, and one guy explained, he said, you're not You're being tracked anyway.
	If you ever touch the site, you're just coded with some hash code.
	They don't have your name, but if they get your name, they'll put it in there.
	Canvas profiling.
	And so that's what she was bitching about.
	She says people that aren't even Facebook users are being tracked by you douchebags.
	Why didn't she say it like that?
	I don't know.
	She should have said it like that.
	You know what it is?
	Well, she was implying it.
	No, but here's the problem.
	Most of these jamokes, they have people who work for them who understand and have questions, but these people don't know what they're asking.
	They're just reading the script.
	This is a problem.
	I don't want to change the subject, but I'm going to change the subject for a split second.
	Mm-hmm.
	This is the problem with modern journalism.
	Lib Joe's.
	What you just said...
	It's exactly the way a journalist is now taught to operate.
	In the olden days, journalists were all specialists.
	There was a guy giving the beat, you know, he's a police reporter, and he actually hung out with the cops and learned his job before he became CityDesk editor.
	But he was like a guy who was learning, he maybe was a cop before, or in my case, you know, I knew enough about computers, I could write about computers.
	Modern journalists say, no, you don't need to know anything.
	You just need to know how to ask questions.
	And then if you ask enough questions, you'll figure out the story.
	And so everyone should be neutral.
	And I've always found that to be just...
	This is the reason that in the government you want to...
	For example, I keep using myself as an example, but I worked at Union Oil, and I went to work for the government as an air pollution inspector in refineries, and it wasn't because I was corrupted by their oil refiners.
	It's because I actually knew how a refinery operated, as opposed to some dumb guy who doesn't know anything, and he's supposed to do the same job.
	He can't do it.
	It's the same thing with reporters, and it's the same thing with congresspeople.
	Yeah, these days, you have to be able to use social nets.
	You have to know something.
	You've got to know the social nets, and you have to look hot.
	Come on.
	Yeah, well, that's all it really takes.
	But it doesn't work, which is the only reason you listen to the No Agenda show is because We have a broad range of experiences, and we're both technically oriented, so we can spot this sort of thing, but if we were just the two guys on the street...
	And we have white privilege.
	...they could get the same material.
	We have white privilege.
	We're perfect.
	We have white privilege on top of it, which is really good to have.
	I'm sorry, but that was a little aside, but I think people should always realize that we have a problem in government because of what Adam just said.
	They don't know what they're talking about.
	And worse, the people who actually seem to understand it, who wrote the questions, aren't there for the follow-up.
	Because then when Zucky, when he goes into his, you know, people want to come to Facebook to share and make connections, then they say, well, that's not the answer.
	I don't know what I'm asking!
	They just don't.
	They should be, just like they have some of these guys give testimony before Congress with their lawyer whispering in their ear, they should have those people sitting right next to them whispering in their ear.
	Or use an IFB for God's sake.
	What's wrong with that?
	Yeah, get some comms going, people.
	I think that's actually illegal.
	Get some comms going.
	Get some comms on that stuff.
	Use your pager.
	There you go.
	What's your next one?
	Well, no, I have...
	I don't have...
	Oh, yeah, I do have...
	I have to bloom it.
	The best one, the only guy that had his act together was Blumenthal.
	All right.
	Because all he did was he just realized that there was a legal violation of an FTC... Order that Facebook was just violating over and over.
	What do they call it?
	I have part of it here.
	What is it called?
	A convention?
	No, not a convention.
	What's the name of the document?
	I can't remember.
	But once these guys...
	And I didn't realize this, by the way.
	When the guys who did the material that eventually went to the Analytica company...
	They had their own, and Blumenthal had it, they had their own EULA, which gave them the rights to resell this as many times as they wanted to.
	Oh, I'll tell you, you know Chris Beshears?
	Yeah.
	He went and he checked, and some of his face bag apps that he wrote before 2015 still work.
	They're still sucking data and data from your friends.
	It's still on.
	Oh, well tell him I need a mailing list.
	The show needs a mailing list.
	Jeez.
	Maybe he still listens.
	I don't know.
	He's pretty Dementia B. I doubt it.
	He's pretty Dementia B. Yeah, well it doesn't mean you can't get us a mailing list.
	The guy who had the poop cast is Dementia B. Now, you tell me.
	Let's play the Blumenthal clip.
	By the way, you have to cut this off.
	For some reason, when I extracted this, I took the whole clip down.
	Ten minutes worth, which is not all Blumenthal, so you have to stop it when I say so.
	It looks like only 11 seconds, John.
	Or is it 11 minutes?
	It's 10 minutes and 11 seconds.
	Oh, I'm sorry.
	Yeah, my counter is obfuscated.
	Sorry.
	Senator, it certainly appears that we should have been aware that this app developer submitted a term that was in conflict with the rules of the platform.
	Well, what happened here was, in effect, willful blindness.
	It was heedless and reckless, which, in fact, amounted to a violation of the FTC consent decree.
	Would you agree?
	Consent decree.
	There it is.
	No, Senator.
	My understanding is not that this was a violation of the consent decree.
	But as I've said a number of times today, I think we need to take a broader view of our responsibility around privacy than just what is mandated in the current laws?
	Well, here is my reservation, Mr.
	Zuckerberg, and I apologize for interrupting you, but my time is limited.
	We've seen the apology tours before.
	You have refused to acknowledge even an ethical obligation to have reported this violation of the FTC consent decree.
	And we have...
	Letters.
	We've had contacts with Facebook employees, and I'm going to submit a letter for the record from Sandy Parakilis, with your permission, that indicates not only a lack of resources, but lack of attention to privacy.
	And so my...
	Reservation about your testimony today is that I don't see how you can change your business model unless there are specific rules of the road.
	Your business model is to monetize user information, to maximize profit over privacy.
	And unless there are specific rules and requirements enforced by an outside agency, I have no assurance that these kinds of vague commitments are going to produce action.
	So I want to ask you a couple of very specific questions, and they are based on legislation that I've offered, the My Data Act, legislation that Senator Markey is introducing today, the Consent Act, which I'm joining.
	Don't you agree that companies ought to be required to provide users with clear, plain information about how their data will be used and specific You know what I think is interesting?
	He's asking for something that I don't think is possible, because it's really only your imagination that is the limitation of what can be done with the amount of data that is tracked, right down to accelerometer, you know, how you're holding the phone.
	To tell people this is what we're doing with it, you might as well just say, We can do anything.
	Once we get our AI tools, then the sky is the limit.
	You can know when someone's...
	Just basically anything.
	Especially with movement, location, proximity...
	Yeah.
	So it's not exactly fair.
	I know, it's a goldmine.
	Senator, I do generally agree with what you're saying, and I laid that out earlier when I talked about what...
	Would you agree to an opt-in as opposed to an opt-out?
	Senator, I think that that certainly makes sense to discuss, and I think the details around this matter a lot.
	Would you agree that...
	Users should be able to access all of their information.
	Senator, yes, of course.
	Wrong question.
	All of the information that you collect as a result of purchases from data brokers, as well as tracking them.
	Oh yeah, this is good.
	Senator, we have already a download your information tool.
	Just on the data brokers, I don't know if it's in Blumenthal's thing, but I have to correct myself.
	They weren't selling to, what's the FICO company name again?
	I keep forgetting it, with a V. What?
	Oh, yeah.
	Veritas or something.
	Yeah, sure.
	Veritas is exactly the opposite of what they are.
	Yeah, some V company.
	Not Verisign, no.
	You should have a note and have it up because you keep referring to it.
	Yes, I know.
	It's odd.
	But anyway, he was buying from them.
	Any notes in that answer?
	I don't know if it's in this bit.
	That is standard ad practice.
	And of course, it is because that's where your data goes when you sign up for protection.
	When you sign up for LifeLock, I'm pretty sure they do it too.
	They sell your aggregate data.
	All these credit companies as well, they sell it to the advertisers, right?
	So they know what you're buying, when you're buying it, you're in the Uber, what do you do?
	They know.
	The credit card guys, they've got the gold mine.
	And they're selling it, and FaceBag is importing that, or was importing it.
	There you go.
	Experian.
	The company.
	To see and to take out all of the information that Facebook, that they've put into Facebook or that Facebook knows about them.
	So yes, I agree with that.
	We already have that.
	I have a number of other specific requests that you agree to support as part of legislation.
	I think legislation is necessary.
	The rules of the road have to be the result of congressional action.
	We have...
	Facebook has participated...
	Recently, in the fight against the scourge of sex trafficking and the bill that we've just passed that will be signed into law tomorrow, SESTA, the Stop Exploiting Sex Trafficking Act, was the result of our cooperation.
	I hope that we can cooperate on this kind of measure as well.
	Senator, I look forward to having my team work with you on this.
	Thank you, Senator Blumenthal, Senator Cruz.
	My teamwork.
	Oh, this is good, too.
	This is Cruz coming up.
	Yeah, I just wanted to say one other thing.
	It wasn't really clippable because it came multiple times throughout what I saw.
	Okay, so you ban an account.
	What's to say that that account, that the corporate entity just creates an account, another account?
	No, we ban the corporate entity.
	Okay, so what if someone lies and creates an account on the down low, on the QT, and you don't know it, but they're still the same guy and they've created the account?
	No, no, we're pretty sure that's not happening.
	At what point...
	Can we all just agree that that's the same thing?
	How do you know about what's going on in Myanmar?
	Ladies and gentlemen, they're reading your messages.
	They're scanning everything to make sure that you're not some illegal guy who was already banned from the system.
	They're reading your messages.
	They're reading it.
	All of it.
	All of it.
	With their AI tools.
	But people are reading it.
	I think they have AI to flag things that are suspicious.
	Oh, yeah.
	It's just like the CIA. They probably hire some ex-NSA guys who do that for a living.
	Yes.
	But let's just be honest.
	He didn't say it.
	And the congressmen and women and the senators were too stupid to ask.
	But that's really what's going on.
	And they admit it.
	It's not like it's a secret.
	But let's just put context around when they read your messages.
	It's not just to give you ads.
	It's to make sure they can ban you.
	Yeah, they can.
	Right.
	Now, the other thing that's kind of interesting is this idea that opt-in, opt-out thing is a red herring.
	And it always has been.
	And I'll give you the example of why I think this.
	It's because all they have to do is hound you.
	It's like the EULA. You can't use the thing, let's just check the box.
	You can't use this app unless you agree to this.
	You can't, you know, this is that EULA thing.
	It all boils down to that.
	Or the old trickery, which you run into all the time.
	You have to update your Flash player for Adobe.
	So you do that and, oh, by the way, would you like a copy of McAfee?
	Woo!
	And it's checked.
	The box is checked.
	So you check it to get rid of it.
	And a free browser toolbar.
	So they opt you in.
	So they can opt you in.
	So it looks like, yeah, you opted in.
	You saw the screen.
	It showed you that you checked the box.
	And, of course, you have to uncheck the box.
	Which is, you know, it's inconvenient to say the least, especially if you're in a hurry and you forget, ah!
	And it's happened to me a couple of times where you click the, you don't notice at all.
	Then you got to stop the whole process so they don't load McAfee on your machine.
	This whole thing, the whole business is just built on scams.
	And I encourage everyone to look at the South Park episode called iCentipod.
	It was done years ago and it is about exactly this problem.
	It is extremely well done.
	And you will understand.
	So now Ted Cruz comes up and he also brings up Honey and Spice or whatever those two women's names are.
	I can't remember.
	Sugar and Spice.
	I sent a pad.
	Spice and Lemon.
	Spice and Lemon.
	Diamond and Spice.
	Diamond and Spice.
	Diamond and Pearl?
	Cruise really lays into the guy mostly for political reasons and again never lets him say much because my time is running out.
	I reclaim my time.
	Diamond and Silk.
	Oh, man.
	Woohoo!
	It's the short-term memory that goes first, people.
	That's what you said.
	Anyway, Sylvia, you want to play this out?
	Yeah.
	Thank you, Mr.
	Chairman.
	Mr.
	Zuckerberg, welcome.
	Thank you for being here.
	Mr.
	Zuckerberg, does Facebook consider itself a neutral public forum?
	Senator, we consider ourselves to be a platform for all ideas.
	Let me ask the question again.
	Does Facebook consider itself to be a neutral public forum?
	And representatives of your company have given conflicting answers on this.
	Are you a First Amendment speaker expressing your views, or are you a neutral public forum allowing everyone to speak?
	Senator, here's how we think about this.
	I don't believe that...
	Nice performative, by the way.
	That's one of the better performatives.
	Here's the way we think about this.
	Oh, beautiful.
	Content that clearly we do not allow.
	Right?
	Hate speech, terrorist content, nudity, anything that makes people feel unsafe in the community.
	Oh, some nudity.
	From that perspective, that's why we generally try to refer to what we do as a platform for all ideas.
	Let me try just because the time is constrained.
	It's just a simple question.
	The predicate for Section 230 immunity under the CDA is that you are a neutral public forum.
	Do you consider yourself a neutral public forum?
	Are you engaged in political speech, which is your right under the First Amendment?
	Well, Senator, our goal is certainly not to engage in political speech.
	I'm not that familiar with the specific legal language of the law that you speak to, so I would need to follow up with you on that.
	Okay, hold on a second.
	First of all, I know a lot about Section 230.
	Because we've just discussed this so much over the years.
	And for Cruz to say a neutral public forum has nothing to do with what is in the law.
	And, you know, as a First Amendment speaker expressing your views, it's not in Section 230.
	Section 230 is important because that's what really allowed the Internet to grow the way it is.
	But it really is about editorializing I'm just trying to lay out how broadly I think about this.
	Mr.
	Zuckerberg, I will say there are a great many...
	Americans who I think are deeply concerned that Facebook and other tech companies are engaged in a pervasive pattern of bias and political censorship.
	There have been numerous instances with Facebook.
	In May of 2016, Gizmodo reported that Facebook had purposely and routinely suppressed conservative stories from trending news, including stories about CPAC, including stories about Mitt Romney, Glenn Beck.
	I'd forgotten all this good stuff, actually.
	It was kind of nice to have the summary from the Dimension A side.
	He's not under oath, is he?
	Yeah, of course he is.
	I don't think he was under...
	Did he get sworn in?
	Truth, whole truth, nothing but?
	Well, I didn't see it.
	I don't think...
	I didn't see that.
	I saw the beginning on C-SPAN. You think he just wandered up there?
	Troll room says no.
	Not under oath.
	Well, then he can say whatever he wants.
	Right.
	That is what we're witnessing.
	In addition to that, Facebook has initially shut down the Chick-fil-A Appreciation Day page.
	By the way, I agree with that one.
	Just shut it down.
	Has blocked a post of a Fox News reporter.
	Has blocked over two dozen Catholic pages.
	That's blocked Christina Curry's side boob.
	And most recently blocked Trump supporters Diamond and Silk's page with 1.2 million Facebook followers after determining their content and brand were, quote, unsafe to the community.
	To a great many Americans, that appears to be a pervasive pattern of political bias.
	Do you agree with that assessment?
	For now, I'm going to call them Raven and Silk.
	I think that's better.
	Senator, let me say a few things about this.
	First, I understand where that concern is coming from because Facebook and the tech industry are located in Silicon Valley, which is an extremely left-leaning place.
	Nice.
	And this is actually a concern that I have and that I try to root out in the company is making sure that we don't have any bias in the work that we do.
	And I think it is a fair concern that people would at least wonder about.
	Let me ask this question.
	Are you aware of any ad or page that has been taken down from Planned Parenthood?
	Senator, I'm not, but let me just...
	How about moveon.org?
	Sorry?
	How about moveon.org?
	I'm not specifically aware of those things.
	How about any Democratic candidate for office?
	I'm not specifically aware.
	I mean, I'm not sure.
	In your testimony, you say that you have 15,000 to 20,000 people working on security and content review.
	Do you know the political orientation of those 15,000 to 20,000 people engaged in content review?
	They're awesome.
	No, Senator.
	We do not generally ask people about their political orientation when they're joining the company.
	Hold on.
	Here's where Zuckerberg was, you know, very well-primed, but he wasn't ready for this.
	He wasn't ready for this.
	Because he had a gem.
	Because what Cruz did was toss him a softball, and what Zuckerberg could have said, Zucky, could have said was...
	I'm sorry, Senator, but it's against the law in the state of California to ask somebody what their political orientation is when we hire them.
	Nice one.
	And that would have short-circuited Cruz.
	No, no, no.
	Better yet, Senator Cruz, Senator, I'm not sure.
	I'm not aware of all the laws in Texas.
	But in California, see, that's how you do it.
	Well, that would be even better.
	You're right.
	That would have been just nice.
	But just off the top, he...
	He doesn't either know this or...
	Spectrum, bro.
	Spectrum.
	Spectrum.
	But he could have nailed Cruz right there.
	But no, no.
	He just gets continually bullied by Cruz.
	But it was fun to watch because I think Cruz was on a roll here.
	Yeah.
	He even said it was fun.
	So as CEO, have you ever made hiring or firing decisions based on political positions or what candidates they supported?
	No.
	Why was Palmer Luckey fired?
	What a trap.
	What a trap.
	And here comes one of those crowd-guffawing moments.
	That is a specific personnel matter that seems like it would be inappropriate to speak here.
	You just made a specific representation that you didn't make decisions based on political views.
	Well, I can commit that it was not because of a political view.
	Do you know of those 15,000 to 20,000 people engaged in content review?
	How many, if any, have ever supported financially a Republican candidate for office?
	Senator, I do not know that.
	Your testimony says it is not enough that we just connect people.
	We have to make sure those connections are positive.
	It says we have to make sure people aren't using their voice to hurt people or spread misinformation.
	We have a responsibility not just to build tools to make sure those tools are used for good.
	Mr.
	Zuckerberg, do you feel it's your responsibility to assess users whether they are good and positive connections or ones that those 15,000 to 20,000 people deem unacceptable or deplorable?
	Senator, are you asking me personally?
	Nice one.
	Senator, I think that there are a number of...
	Yes.
	He slipped in the word deplorable, which is a buzzword.
	Yeah, it was well done.
	Meaning Trump supporter.
	Yeah, well done.
	Well done.
	Things that we would all agree are clearly bad.
	Foreign interference in our elections, terrorism, self-harm.
	I'm talking about censorship.
	Well, I think that you would probably agree that we should remove terrorist propaganda from the service.
	So that, I agree, I think is clearly bad activity that we want to get down, and we're generally proud.
	Do you want to get down?
	Boom, boom, get down on it.
	...of how well we do at that.
	Now, what I can say, and I do want to get this in before the end here, is that I am very committed to making sure that Facebook is a platform for all ideas.
	That is a very important founding principle of what we do.
	We're proud of the discourse and the different ideas that people can share on the service, and that is something that, as long as I'm running the company, I'm going to be committed to making sure is the case.
	Thank you.
	Thank you, Senator Cruz.
	Do you want a break now?
	We want to keep going.
	Sure.
	I mean, that was pretty good.
	He's so proud of himself.
	Yeah, you can kill it.
	And with that, I think we're done?
	Well, I do have one more local rap, which is the local rap.
	Of the Zuckerberg thing.
	And let's play that and then we're done.
	Well, then we're not.
	Facebook's Mark Zuckerberg agreed with lawmakers today that regulation of his industry is inevitable as he faced harsh questions by lawmakers during round two of a hearing on Capitol Hill.
	We didn't take a broad enough view of our responsibility and that was a big mistake.
	And it was my mistake.
	And I'm sorry.
	If you messaged anybody this week, would you share with us the names of the people you've messaged?
	Good one.
	Senator, no.
	I would probably not choose to do that publicly here.
	I think that may be what this is all about.
	The questioning follows the Cambridge Analytica scandal that exposed the data of up to 87 million Facebook users.
	Zuckerberg revealed that his own data was sold.
	Okay.
	Sure it was.
	Now, just a couple things to wrap it up that are remembered.
	One is, I could not find this clip where the producer sent me the time code on the C-SPAN. I just could not find it.
	But apparently, at one point, Zucky is asked about intelligence agencies.
	No.
	Something about FaceBag, and his answer is, Senator, I cannot see why any intelligence...
	No, like, crap.
	I gotta find this clip.
	Somebody needs to find it for me because the way it sounded is like he stuttered including himself as an intelligence agency.
	That clip I would like because that would be clip of the day if we could find that.
	Okay.
	If someone understood it properly.
	There was another little oopsie from...
	It may show up in the database at C-SPAN once this thing is...
	Yeah, someone will make a clip out of it probably.
	Once the transcript is done.
	This is...
	I think this...
	What was this on MSNBC? Mike Hufflinger.
	He's the former Facebag global business marketing head.
	Well, I think it is.
	And what happens when you're trying to innovate, especially at this scale, what happens is you have to have an almost ridiculous amount of optimism to get up in the morning and build the world something that didn't exist before or certainly didn't exist before at this scale.
	And then when you do that, you begin to discover that to be truly successful in the long term, you also have to be very vigilant.
	And I think what we've seen, and I think we've heard it now from Mark very clearly for a few weeks, is that there's been an enormous amount of innovation, and I think that's undeniable, but not...
	Invasion.
	The truth always wants to come out, doesn't it?
	Now, in finalizing from my end, I was surprised that my statement, you can't monetize the network, is actually more true than I realized it myself.
	I thought it was only, but it's really hard to do this with advertising.
	And just, if you're really not contributing to the value network like we have here at No Agenda, you can't just sit on the sidelines and have some infrastructure and scoop everything up.
	It's some...
	Magical formula.
	It's like the Fibonacci of the internet.
	You can't monetize it.
	And no matter what you try, okay, I'll try by really the most truly Truman-esque method, even that is not working because the people won't stand for it.
	Eventually, I think that, you know, face bag will lose.
	You just can't monetize it.
	I almost, I don't have a sound effect for laughing.
	Why?
	I think they've done a fine job of monetizing it already.
	It's going to end.
	I don't think so.
	And I don't think people, yeah, people are going to be all kind of, well, yeah, unless there's something else that comes along, nothing has ever ended.
	Unless something came along that did it better.
	Well, I'm seeing a lot of GoFundMe projects, Kickstarter projects, for all kinds of devices that really are trying to help avoid the tracking.
	Mastodon, I think, still has a future.
	It wouldn't take much.
	It would just take the same kind of viral news coverage.
	It would take much.
	The much is...
	Celebrities.
	Celebrities.
	Well, celebrities make a huge difference, but the much really is people actually caring.
	Most people don't care about their own privacy as far as they're concerned.
	Well, I'm not doing anything wrong, so who cares?
	Right, but they should stay on Facebook.
	And they will.
	Oh, and by the way, I figured out who's going to be on the database, the Department of Homeland Security journal database list and influencers.
	Yeah.
	It's obvious.
	Everybody who's verified on Twitter.
	Boom.
	Yeah.
	Of course.
	They're doing media influencers.
	Yeah.
	You said the No Agenda show is listed.
	Well, because you're verified.
	No.
	I don't know that I'm verified and have anything to do with the show.
	These lists, they put them together just on...
	Who won the podcasting awards?
	These are probably influencers.
	Let's just put them on the list.
	Sounds like the government to me.
	It sounds very, just like the government, and that doesn't mean, what it means to bad news is it means we're not going to get any new listeners.
	Oh.
	Okay, well, downer.
	But with that, I would like to thank you for your courage, and say, in the morning to you, John C, where the C stands for California Uber Alice Dvorak.
	In the morning to you, Mr.
	Adam Curry.
	In the morning, all ships at sea.
	Boots on the ground, feet in the air, subs in the water, all the dames and knights out there.
	In the morning to the troll room.
	NoaginaStream.com.
	Nice to see you all there.
	All the trolls.
	Also, hold on.
	Where am I going here?
	I want to thank our artists for episode 1023.
	That was Warm Handoff, the title of the show.
	And the cover art was...
	Actually, people like this a lot.
	It was the Crazy Unglued.
	Done by Sir Night of the Living Dead.
	So it was crazy glue, turn it into no agenda, crazy unglued, and it was really nice, right down to a little Radio Shack price sticker that was $80.08.
	Yeah, it was a good piece.
	It had a lot of little...
	It had all the elements of a good piece.
	It had the little sticker, it had the...
	I'm just seeing something new in this.
	On the side...
	That's odd.
	It's a little obfuscated by the sticker.
	It says, small hands, small penis, big red button.
	I didn't even see that the first time.
	Yeah, I saw that one.
	All this and more inside!
	Good job, Sir Night of the Living Dead.
	Thank you.
	Yeah, I think.
	That was an evergreen from some time ago.
	A month or two.
	He may be a man overboard by now.
	Oh, I hope not.
	It was good.
	Really liked it.
	Yeah.
	Enjoyed it.
	Enjoyed it.
	Yeah.
	All right.
	We do have some people to thank.
	We have executive producers, three of them, and associate executive producers, three of them.
	We got the 3-3 balance, which is always good.
	Very nice.
	Steven Straczynski, Parts Unknown, came in as the top guy with $413.96.
	Hmm.
	What's this number for?
	Isn't that some combination of, it means something, it's some...
	Oh, is it half of 1024?
	No.
	Of course not.
	No, it's not that.
	What do I think?
	I just see the No Agenda show and the Unfilter show playing together as well.
	ITM John and Adam, that's all he says.
	No, playing together well, not playing together as well.
	Playing together well.
	Playing together well.
	And that's all he says.
	So we didn't have any 1024 nights.
	I like the promotion.
	Yeah, the promotion was good, but people weren't in the mood.
	Okay.
	We're going to leave the 1024 nights, the bite night, available for the next year.
	Okay.
	James Pyre, Sir Wire of the Hidden Jewel in Escondido, came in with $333.
	And he says, ITM John and Adam sucks we can't.
	Leave not in PayPal.
	Sucks we can't leave not in PayPal.
	We'll try a note.
	You can.
	You can leave a note in PayPal.
	I don't know why people can't see that thing.
	I think on the mobile sometimes it might not work.
	Ah, the mobile may be a problem.
	We'll try by email.
	Thanks to you both for keeping me and the No Agenda Nation laughing and sane.
	Please wish my son EJ a happy birthday.
	He is 14 on the 12th and a long-time listener.
	All right.
	Please play EJ's jingles today.
	His favorite jingles.
	Rules follower?
	Bullshit!
	Sorry about that.
	That's on the list, but it fired accidentally.
	Okay, rule follower, time to stand, yeah, no Beatles, and then bullshit.
	But I don't know what time to stand is.
	I don't know what time to stand is.
	You have to explain because I'm not sure what that is.
	I'm a rule follower, so if the rule is that we have to do it, then I'll do it.
	Yeah, no.
	Yeah, no.
	You're saying yeah while you're saying no.
	Yeah, no.
	I don't know why you're saying yeah while saying no.
	That was so good.
	I forgot about this one.
	I don't know why you're saying yeah while saying no.
	Bullshit!
	Yeah, no.
	Yeah, no.
	You've got karma.
	That was nice.
	Yeah, you know whose song is great.
	I forgot about it, too.
	Thank you.
	Our last executive producer, Stuart Morrison, Sir Stuart, he's been writing in a lot, $301, and there's nothing.
	His last note is in January, so I have no idea what the deal is with this, what he wants from us.
	But he can send a note in later.
	Thank you very much.
	Maybe he just wants to help us, and he's like, yeah, for the guys.
	No note needed.
	NJNK. Albert Aversa, $222.
	And three.
	Two to the fifth donation for episode two to the tenth.
	Uh-huh.
	Nice.
	New homeowner, Goat Karma, because N.A. Karma works.
	Shout out to Sir Mike of Wakefield from the ancient Shire in Virginia.
	Some after-EP shape-shifting Jews would be just perfect.
	Love No Agenda, Al from CC. Very cryptic note.
	Oh, I get it.
	I'll put the shapeshifters in the end of show.
	Jobs.
	Jobs.
	Oh, no, I'm sorry.
	Does she need jobs or just goat karma?
	Goat karma.
	New homeowner goat karma.
	I'm sorry.
	Here we go.
	You've got karma.
	It works.
	We're reliably informed.
	Ms.
	Jamie Christensen in Celeburn, Texas.
	Ms.
	Ms.
	So I said Ms.
	$210.
	Ms.
	Jamie of the Highway, currently in...
	Cleborn, Texas.
	Here's my 10-bit donation, 2 to the 10, to the best podcast in the universe.
	I'm halfway to Damehood and realize I have yet to be de-douched.
	Let's do that immediately.
	You've been de-douched.
	Nice and fresh.
	Yes, there's no jingles, no karma.
	73's though, N-3-E-O-P. Oh, slash 5 is probably her mobile.
	Oh, wait.
	No, I don't know.
	It could be part of a club station.
	Well, 73s and 88s.
	November 3, Echo Oscar Papa from Kilo 5, Alpha Charlie Charlie.
	ITM. Kevin Drazich in Brentwood, California.
	200 even.
	He'll be our last associate executive producer.
	Just want to say to you both, I would like to just want to say thank you to you both.
	I would also like to thank all those who support the show.
	If one of you can pronounce my name right, I will match this donation.
	John, not to Southern California Brentwood.
	This is the Brentwood East of the Mudflash.
	This is Brentwood Cab.
	We're here by me.
	Kevin Drazich is the way I pronounce it, but it's probably...
	I'll look it up and...
	Kevin Drazich.
	And I'll bring it up on the next show because he doesn't have a time limit on this.
	If either one of you can pronounce my name right, I will match this donation.
	So that's coming on the next show.
	You're such a lawyer.
	Drazzage.
	Drazzage.
	All right.
	Well, thank you very much to our executive producers and our associate executive producers.
	Even Balance 3 to 3.
	I appreciate that very much.
	And of course, these credits are real and are recognized.
	Or you can use them anywhere credits are recognized.
	People like putting it on the LinkedIn.
	It gets sucked into all of those data brokers.
	And before you know it, you're known around the universe on all the social nets.
	All the social nets.
	Social nets.
	As an executive producer of the best podcast in the universe.
	No Agenda Show.
	Episode 1020.
	And we'll be thanking more people, $50 or above, coming up a little bit later on.
	And remember, we have another show coming up on Sunday.
	I will be here, still in the lowlands.
	John, you will also be on the road.
	I'll be in Biloxi, Mississippi, and I hope to have a meet-up that night.
	I don't have the location or any details yet, so it'll be sent out an email and tweeted.
	Yeah, this is the only thing I've failed at so far.
	I have not gotten my head around doing a meet-up just yet.
	It takes a little...
	I've been on cloud nine, you know.
	You've been just living the life of Riley there with the king and queen.
	Drinking them cheap whites.
	That's right, everybody.
	Make sure you let everybody know we're all over the world.
	And propagate.
	Our formula is this.
	We go out, we hit people in the mouth.
	You'll be very happy to hear this extremely disturbing report, John.
	You were the one that brought our attention to poop particles in the bathroom, specifically on mobile phones.
	Oh, yeah, I remember that.
	Well, a report came out.
	I'm sure this could be the paper towel company who's putting this story out there.
	But bathroom hand dryers, as it turns out, actually suck in the poop particles and blow it throughout the entire place and onto your hands.
	You're standing right there, especially if it's a Dyson.
	Yeah, you're breathing poop.
	You're breathing poop, people!
	Man!
	You know it.
	Somebody finally hired a PR. They're killing us here.
	We're losing sales of our rolls of paper.
	What are we going to do?
	We got to get people off of the blowers.
	Yeah.
	I know.
	Poop.
	Poop particles.
	That's almost like the guy doing the bookit.com, but a big but a book.
	It's like, I know.
	Poop particles.
	That's right.
	It's got to be that.
	It's got to be a native ad.
	That must have started out that way.
	Probably just a promotion.
	I don't think anyone paid to get these things run.
	Once you come up with a story like that, you can produce a documentation.
	Who's not going to run that story?
	Let me just see who did the survey.
	Let me check.
	This is deconstruction.
	This is worth doing it, let me see.
	Oh man, Boing Boing has a great photo of one of those really horrible, you know, the paint is all moldy.
	Oh my God.
	Yeah, they probably sent that out with the press release.
	Oh yeah, it must be.
	Here, a new study in Applied and Environmental Microbiology.
	Woohoo!
	Let's take a look at this.
	I can't believe I didn't do this.
	This may be show prep for Sunday.
	Let me see.
	What is this publication?
	This is from the American Society for Microbiology.
	That sounds legit.
	Oh, anything can sound legit.
	We can do that.
	The No Agenda Consulting Group?
	American Society for Microbiology?
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Okay, I'll look it up too.
	Let me see.
	They have recommendations.
	Don't they have to read the whole thing to get their...
	It's the oldest and largest single life sciences membership organization in the world.
	Membership has grown from 59 scientists in 1899 to more than 39,000 members.
	Okay.
	So they went to the right group.
	It sure seems like it.
	Here, Department of the Participants, or let me see, Affiliations, Rutgers, and the State University of New Jersey.
	Look for Kimberly Clark.
	Maybe some Johnson& Johnson.
	Let me see.
	I don't think they make paper products.
	Crown Zellerback.
	There's another one to look for.
	No.
	Okay, we'll work on it.
	We'll get it.
	We'll nail it.
	It's going to be easy.
	It starts off with hot air hand dryers in multiple men's and women's bathrooms in three basic science research areas in the academic health center were screened for their deposition on plates of total bacteria.
	What does that mean?
	They put some petri dishes out with some agar and saw what happened.
	I thought the king's lunch was bad.
	Here they have plates of total bacteria.
	Some of which were identified in a cannabicin-resistant bacillus subtilis strain, spores which are produced in large amounts in one basic science research laboratory.
	Plates exposed to hand dryer air for 30 seconds average 18 to 16 colonies per plate.
	But interior hand dryer nozzle surfaces had minimal bacterial levels.
	Ah, okay.
	So it really is the...
	It really is the blower.
	This is great.
	Yeah, that's technology for you.
	This is Professor Ted.
	He was right.
	Technology is only going to kill us.
	So have you written to Ted and see him get an interview?
	Ah, man.
	I don't think he's allowed.
	I think he can do written interviews.
	Oh, that's bullcrap.
	He should be able to do interviews.
	I'm sure he doesn't care.
	Start working on it.
	Well, he might care if he knows that you're a big fan.
	Mm-hmm.
	We have the love affair kindling.
	It's been a while, but we know we can always rely on the old horn dog, Matt Lee.
	I mean, he's always good.
	He's always good.
	He's a flirt.
	He's a flirt.
	And Heather is worth flirting with.
	Oh, yeah.
	And he's got a pretty mellifluous voice, good flirt voice for a man.
	Heather's, she's got to watch at her, you know, I should, if we're going to do this.
	Now entering executive mode.
	Yes, we're entering executive mode, ladies and gentlemen, just so you know.
	Ah, you got a good sequel for that.
	We actually got another one here from someone else.
	Entering executive mode.
	Executive mood.
	Executive mood.
	Yes.
	We should have an exit.
	Yeah, you guys who did that, do an exit.
	We have an exit.
	That's standing by.
	Yes.
	Of course, Sir Chris.
	Of course, he has an exit.
	We're in executive mode.
	She's got to watch her resting bitch face, which is a term I didn't come up with.
	Women call it this.
	And when she's unhappy with what's going on, her mouth starts to droop, and it really doesn't make...
	It's not attractive.
	She has a nice smile, and she has a jolly...
	She has a jolly face, don't you think?
	She's pretty.
	She has a pixie-like demeanor.
	Her head is too big to be pixie.
	She has kind of a square head.
	She looks like Betty Boop.
	Yeah, yeah, okay.
	Yeah, that's that.
	Yeah.
	Otherwise, it's simple.
	But she was so happy.
	She started off her press briefing the other day.
	Oh, I think we can exit.
	Now entering.
	Oh, no, no, no.
	I did exit, damn it.
	Why are we exiting?
	I thought we were still going to stay in the mode.
	I'm sorry.
	Yeah, what am I thinking?
	Let's stay in the mode.
	What are you talking about?
	I'm crazy.
	You're still talking about her.
	Yeah, I forgot.
	Okay, so he flirted with her, she flirted back.
	No, no, wait, wait, the flirting's coming.
	But first, she walks in, she's back from vacation, she's super happy, then she clunks her book down on the table, and what are we always bitching about in these...
	The book is the biggest book in the world, in world history.
	Huge, giant, voluminous book.
	Yeah, I'm going to replay that for you because she plops the book down.
	Damn it.
	Sorry, I'm failing here.
	Here we go.
	Hi, good afternoon.
	Nice to see you all.
	Do you notice anything different?
	Yeah, the book's bigger.
	I went on vacation and the book went on a diet.
	Her book was...
	Oh, she shrunk the book.
	Yeah, the book was really thin.
	I mean, you know the binders that they are.
	Maybe somebody listens to our show.
	Maybe Heather listens to our show.
	Oh, damn it.
	The boys didn't like my outfit.
	Crap.
	What am I going to do?
	The fiction about the book size.
	The fiction about my book.
	Okay.
	I did something about it.
	I thought you all would enjoy that.
	So we'll see how this works today.
	Quality has replaced quantity.
	Oh, there's Matt.
	Quality has replaced quantity, Heather.
	But he's so smooth.
	We've got to drink beer with this guy.
	Today.
	Quality has replaced quantity?
	I don't know about that.
	It's kind of like when my kids go to school and I use that opportunity to clean their rooms and they don't notice.
	That's exactly what happened in the past week.
	Oh, yes.
	So nice.
	Now, what happened here, and Matt kind of gets into it with her, there was a...
	A reporter was killed by the Israeli Defense Forces, and there's a lot of crap going on now at their border wall, if you haven't followed it.
	This reporter, who was wearing a press flak jacket, apparently...
	He was from Hamas.
	And they shot him.
	And so you have Saeed and he asked a question like, you know, what happened here?
	And, you know, how come you guys haven't recognized this?
	And how come you're not talking about it?
	How come it's, you know, yeah.
	And she's like, oh, well, you know, yes, I'm aware of that report.
	Being very sketchy about it.
	But Matt's ready to pounce.
	I'm sorry, you said you were aware of reports that a journalist was killed?
	Yes.
	You haven't been able to confirm?
	The guy was buried over the weekend at a funeral that was attended by a lot of people.
	Yeah.
	And I'm aware of that, yes.
	But not just of reports.
	I mean, you know that this guy was killed.
	That is correct, yes.
	And I think you might know a little bit more, maybe, maybe not, but because the company that he worked for, that he co-founded and co-owned, had last month...
	Gotten, been vetted and was approved for a grant from USAID. Now, well, first of all, can you say that that is true, that that is correct?
	My understanding is that he was vetted according to U.S. government guidelines, but I don't have anything more for you on that.
	Okay.
	So would the U.S. government guidelines would allow for a member of Hamas to Matt, I don't know the specifics of the case.
	I've not been involved in any of that, but if I get anything for you on that, I'll be happy to bring it to you.
	The Israeli defense minister has said that although he was wearing a bulletproof vest with the word press, clearly bladed on it, he was a member of Hamas, a member of Hamas's armed wing, with the equivalent rank of captain.
	And that he was disguising himself as a journalist.
	And I want to know, I mean, if he was in fact vetted and approved by USAID for a U.S. taxpayer grant, either the USAID vetting process is not very good, or it allows for a possible Hamas militant to get U.S. funding, or the Israeli defense minister is wrong or worse.
	All I can say is that we're looking into that.
	No, they're not.
	No.
	She is now.
	Yeah, was it spook or how did that happen?
	That seems...
	I don't know, but I think Matt nailed something here.
	Oh, yeah.
	He laid the trap.
	I don't see...
	By the way, I haven't seen this on the WAPO. WAPO, WAPO, WAPO, WAPO, WAPO. No.
	Why would you?
	I'm just a podcaster.
	Now, it's like the guy was Hamas.
	Captain.
	He somehow got a USAID American taxpayer grant to be a journalist in the field or something.
	And the Israelis apparently had enough on this guy.
	They knew who he was.
	He was a captain.
	And they decided to gun him down.
	Yes, from 1,200 feet.
	Well, that's a sniper.
	You can do that.
	1,200 feet is not that far.
	No, no, no.
	The point is, the press had been told, you're safe up to 500 feet.
	Anybody close than 500 feet is in trouble.
	So he was back 1,200 feet.
	So yeah, they picked him off, obviously.
	Yeah.
	Let's see.
	Send Ivan over there to shoot him.
	Yeah.
	So she's acting dumb about this?
	Yeah.
	Shot in the field?
	Yeah, it was a big funeral.
	With his press credentials?
	Yeah, this is a big press thing.
	The press, you know, it's one of their own, Mon.
	It's one of their own, so.
	Well, it's not, well, one of their own if you consider that half the press is spooks.
	Yeah, that's why they all went to the funeral, I guess.
	But then, Heather, just had a little announcement, and it caught my ear.
	So, great to see you all again.
	Hope you're having a terrific day.
	A couple announcements to bring you first.
	As many of you know, the Qatari Amir is in Washington today.
	We warmly welcome him, His Highness Qatari Amir al-Thani, to the United States.
	Now, isn't this interesting?
	And this is where we will start to transition to Syria.
	To have the Qatari emir in Washington speaking with the President of the United States at the very moment, Qatar, Saudi Arabia, Jordan, Turkey are all playing shenanigans for their pipeline because that's what it is.
	I've really done my checking on this.
	Trump clearly knows more than he's letting on, and if he's complicit, that's what he should be impeached for if he actually is going to take this crazy-ass bait.
	But to have the Qatari emir in D.C. I thought was perfect timing and kind of confirms that there's something going on beyond what we're being told.
	The President met with Amir a short while ago, and Acting Secretary Sullivan will meet with him this afternoon.
	Qatar is a highly valued strategic partner to the United States and also a friend.
	You may recall that we held the inaugural U.S.-Qatar Strategic Dialogue here at the State Department on January the 30th, during which we collaborated on defense, counterterrorism, human rights, trade, aviation, and also investment.
	We're building upon that dialogue and look forward to discussing these and other important issues of bilateral cooperation during the Emir's visit.
	Since the dialogue and building on our July 2017 counterterrorism MOU, Qatar has continued to advance its counterterrorism and counterterror financing efforts.
	Yeah, sure.
	I don't know if you have any clips on Syria, but I'd like to dive in a little bit.
	I have a few.
	Let's see what we've got.
	Let's go back before...
	Before the more recent phony baloney action in Syria.
	This is a prequel to that.
	This is before any of this happened.
	This was from a couple of days before.
	And I just carried this.
	I wanted to bring it up before.
	I never did.
	This is the stuck in Syria clip.
	Yes, got it.
	Mission accomplished?
	As the war drags on, the president telling the Pentagon to finish the battle, even though the military argues ISIS is still a threat, according to two U.S. officials.
	A contentious national security meeting after the president declared Tuesday...
	I want to get out.
	I want to bring our troops back home.
	Even as his top commander for the region was saying it is too soon.
	The hard part, I think, is in front of us, and that is stabilizing these areas, consolidating our gains.
	Tonight, military advisors scrambling to prevent the president from ceding the battlefield to Russia and Iran, whose leaders were meeting on Syria today.
	Nothing could be more attractive, certainly to the Iranian Revolutionary Guards, than to have the President of the United States saying, we're on the verge of pulling out.
	You own the country.
	Two U.S. officials tell NBC News the President reluctantly agreeing to keep troops in Syria, asking, how much more time do you need?
	Six months?
	A year?
	The White House later saying, the military mission to eradicate ISIS in Syria is coming to a rapid end, with ISIS being almost completely destroyed.
	Not true, say current and former ISIS is not defeated and another terror threat moves.
	Al Qaeda's global leadership has begun to shift from Afghanistan and Pakistan to Syria, taking advantage of the conflict, taking advantage of the chaos.
	Bullcrap.
	You know, I had a couple of thoughts during that clip.
	Maybe I should premise all of this by...
	And I just want to make sure that you're in agreement that this, to me, and everything I've seen, particularly you go back and look at Gini Energy, stock symbol GNE, very interesting chart, went way down.
	They have the rights to the Golan Heights.
	They got a lot of rights to the drilling right in that contested area of Syria.
	When Syria has 2.6 billion barrels, I mean, they do have some hydrocarbons and minerals that are interesting.
	But more importantly, there has been this ongoing battle.
	This is what a lot of this has been about.
	From Qatar, the gas pipe goes up through Syria, goes into Turkey, then goes into the EU, versus the Russian-Iranian pipeline, which goes Iran, Iraq, Syria, and then there's the deep water port there.
	They might even consider piping some off to Lebanon.
	And this is just competition.
	And the idea that we were pulling out, here's what I think happened.
	The idea that we're pulling out scared the French because total oil.
	All these guys are in it.
	That's why the UK and everyone's all Ford and all the warmongers and the neocons.
	And the UK is making a big, big splash.
	Right.
	And I think what might have happened.
	Here's what I wish would happen.
	This is better.
	I wish that this, in Trump's world, he went, ah, crap.
	Look what they're doing.
	Because, of course, we have all of a sudden another chemical weapons strike.
	And I've been receiving YouTube videos and then all kinds of articles all morning from our military connections.
	And, you know, the gas canister, the chlorine gas canister, this one that came through the roof and didn't explode, they show it.
	It has Merck on the side.
	It's made in Germany.
	And it was the Saudis likely, or Qataris, or probably the Saudis.
	They've got our jets.
	They were dropping this stuff.
	And Trump's like, oh crap, they're going to try and pull me in with this?
	And I hope, in my world, I really hope he went...
	I'm gonna do the crazy guy shit.
	Watch this.
	I'm gonna bomb you with the smartest, fastest shit!
	I'm gonna blow...
	I'm gonna mess you up, bro!
	And that's why all of a sudden the Brits and the French went, oh man, no, no, no, no, no, no.
	No, no, we just wanted to stay there.
	Don't go all crazy, bro.
	It's a distinct possibility.
	It is a distinct possibility.
	I hope...
	I hope it is what he did, because otherwise it's like, wait a minute, you're going to leave a minute ago and now you want to bomb the crap out of everybody and start a war.
	Yeah.
	That's the only thing I can come up with.
	Otherwise, he's taken the bait and he's an idiot.
	Very possible.
	Both scenarios are possible.
	Yeah.
	It's like George Bush, W. When he was in office, is he an idiot or the shrewdest man in the world?
	Because they claim both.
	Oh, what a dummy.
	What a dummy.
	Oh, man, these guys are conniving to the Antichrist.
	I mean, give me a break.
	It's either one or the other.
	So we don't know.
	Trump's smart enough to become president.
	I think this is what dulls everybody.
	They can't believe it.
	So maybe you're right.
	Maybe your thesis is correct.
	I want to play these three short clips from PBS where they had the ex-ambassador to NATO and he used it with some connections to Syria who came on with the scary stuff.
	And then we get to hear the PBS NewsHour guy repeat a nonsense claim. And I want to just deconstruct that. But let's play Escalation Potential PBS Syria for background. Okay.
	President Trump tweeted this morning, the missiles are coming.
	Let's say we do go forward.
	What are the options for the U.S.? Well, I think the first thing to consider here is that the options will flow from the purpose of the attack.
	Meaning what we want to get out of it.
	The objectives, right?
	And these have to come from a very deliberate process inside the Situation Room, led by National Security Advisor Bolton, and ultimately approved by the President.
	So once the objectives are set, and here I imagine the objectives are reasonably simple, and that is to punish those responsible for this particular attack, to impose costs, and by way of those costs, attempt to deter future attacks.
	And if that's the objective, from that flows tasks to the intelligence community.
	Task to the diplomatic community and task to the military.
	Now we've heard that the Russians have said if the US strikes, they might strike back.
	Not only will they try to knock our missiles down, but they might even target the platforms from which we launch those attacks.
	Is this just Russian saber rattling?
	How seriously do you take this?
	Well, the thing that concerns me about this sort of exchange of rhetoric on our side, but then the response on the Russian side, is that you can already see a pattern of escalation, even in the rhetoric.
	And the challenge here is that such escalatory steps Can be imagined to be controllable from inside the situation room.
	We might imagine that these are discrete, controllable steps.
	But in practice, they're often out of control.
	And we can lose control and they can spiral in an escalatory manner because of miscalculation and misperceptions.
	So the danger here, I think, is that we launch into something that becomes escalatory.
	And that's how World War I started.
	Yeah.
	It's a dangerous game.
	It's a dangerous game.
	Now...
	Oh, go ahead.
	Yeah?
	Well...
	Well, I was going to...
	I'm not...
	I'm trying to think where my NPR clip fits in.
	Let's do another one.
	I got another one.
	I got...
	Here's another follow-up.
	And then I have the...
	I can play both of these and it makes some sense.
	Okay.
	Let's do the escalation potential.
	Do nothing.
	What do you think about the option of not responding?
	Is that a viable option?
	Well, that's always an option as well.
	The challenge here is that the rhetoric has already put us on the path towards and setting expectations towards a response.
	So there's a certain cost by now if now we were not to do anything.
	Okay, this is a pet peeve of mine.
	What is the cost?
	The cost is the same thing we complain about bitterly and claim we have nothing to do with it.
	We're Westerners, so we don't worry about saving face.
	That's something the Japanese do.
	That's something the Chinese do.
	That's something those stupid Asians all do.
	They have to save face.
	Oh, I gotta save face.
	We do it more than anybody.
	Don't you think?
	Yeah.
	Well, is that political correctness at a meta level?
	It's all save face.
	Oh, oh, we said we're going to do something and we didn't do it.
	Oh my God, we're screwed.
	It's just part of saving face.
	This is nonsense.
	He can do whatever he wants to do one way or another.
	The last one, I have another pet peeve just to get it out of the way, which is the third clip with his Listen carefully to this and you can figure out what I'm going to bitch about.
	...curtail this kind of behavior.
	Is your sense that we can stop Assad from using chemical weapons?
	I mean, he has done this dozens of times in Syria.
	Yeah, you mean stating falsehoods as fact?
	Stating falsehoods as a fact, but in this case, he's gotten out of control.
	He says dozens.
	Dozens of times.
	Dozens, which is plural for dozen.
	24 minimum.
	It means at least 24 times.
	It means 24 times.
	Plus.
	Is this an ethical issue as a journo?
	I think so.
	Yeah.
	I think it's a hugely ethical issue.
	You cannot say somebody did something dozens of times.
	You know what dozens means?
	Dozens means minimum of 24.
	Because plural of dozens has to be two dozen at least to be dozens.
	Yes.
	So he said 24 or more times Assad has dropped chemical weapons on his own people.
	Really?
	I want to see the documentation for that.
	And why does he say something like that?
	He could have said he's done it before, which is dubious.
	But he didn't say that.
	He said dozens of times.
	This is the news hour.
	They're supposed to be the highest of the high, the haughty of the hot.
	Dozens, is what he said.
	I would hate to see you in the newsroom.
	Oh, I'd be bitching and moaning.
	Mm-hmm.
	You'd be good.
	But you're too expensive.
	You're too expensive.
	I would be good.
	Too expensive.
	Well, I have two longer clips.
	Okay, it really is like three minutes, but I feel it's worth it.
	Just to get a little sense of, we're not the only ones who are crazy and think different about what's going on.
	And I have people who are texting me and they're afraid.
	Like, you know, holy crap, you know, what's going to go on?
	What's happening?
	What's going to...
	We're worried.
	Our kids, we're worried.
	This is the former ambassador, the former UK ambassador to Syria, Peter Ford.
	And he's on BBC Scotland.
	And the whole thing is really quite good, but that's just, you know, it's seven or eight minutes.
	I had to make choices.
	Kill your darlings.
	It's how it works.
	And he's having none of this.
	And, of course, the BBC guy really doesn't, you know, just doesn't understand his story.
	And he's going to explain the white helmets to us.
	He's going to really go down the list.
	The worst case is that Trump does launch off with some very unwise multiple attacks on Syria.
	And given that Russian forces are deeply embedded with Syrian forces, In particular air defense, it's highly likely that scores of Russian soldiers will be killed.
	If anyone thinks that Russia will take that just lying down, I think they need to think again.
	Russian planes in the last 12 hours have been buzzing U.S. destroyers in the eastern Mediterranean.
	Indeed, it's not just the US president, though, who's appalled by what they've seen in terms of these pictures coming from Duma.
	We've had condemnation from President Macron, likewise from Prime Minister Theresa May, too.
	If it isn't the sort of military action that you've just outlined there, what should be the response to this use of chemical weapons if it's proved?
	The correct response is obviously, and I think a child could see this, to get inspectors onto the alleged site of the alleged offences.
	And if it's proved, then what?
	Because, of course, we know that Assad has form on this.
	We've had investigations previously, and there has been fairly conclusive proof that chemical agents have been used.
	I don't think that Assad is in the least worried that the inspectors would find out his guilt, because he's probably not guilty, at least on this occasion.
	I mean, we have to engage our brains as well as our emotions here, not be stampeded by those videos which are described as being unverified, but which, by dint of being repeated over and over and over again, come to acquire a spurious credibility.
	We have to ask ourselves, what are the sources of the information on which we're in this stampede to war?
	They're twofold.
	And I'm sorry about the media falling down on the job in investigating this.
	The sources are the Syrian American Medical Society.
	Which is a pro-Islamist propaganda outfit based in the United States.
	Are you saying these pictures have been staged?
	Are you saying that people haven't died?
	Yes!
	Yes!
	In all probability, the incidents have been staged.
	Come on, we know how easy it is to fake images for the internet.
	Look at the images.
	Anybody could stage those.
	And then the second source...
	It's supposed to be so-called first responders who are the first responders.
	Yeah.
	The guy stepped all over the guy when he said, and he talked about that Islamist group.
	Yes.
	I don't know if you can back it up to that.
	Yeah, I think I can.
	But he says it's financed by the CIA. Yeah.
	The guy's fantastic.
	The guy stepped right on that line.
	It was very hard to hear.
	The American Medical Society, which is a pro-Islamist propaganda outfit based in the United States.
	Are you saying these pictures have been staged?
	I know, but this is...
	Welcome to Journo 2018.
	He says it right there, financed by CIA. Yes, he said, and that would be a jumping off point.
	But instead, this idiot that is interviewing him is all flustered about something else.
	He's not even listening, apparently, because something earlier concerned him that he had to bring up in the middle of this and step on the CIA line.
	Tinfoil hat.
	He was like, oh, you're just talking conspiracy theory stuff.
	Mr.
	UK Ambassador, who do you think you are?
	Are you saying that people haven't died?
	Yes, in all probability, the incidents have been staged.
	Come on, we know how easy it is to fake images for the internet.
	Look at the images.
	Anybody could stage those.
	And then the second source is supposed to be So-called first responders.
	Who are the first responders?
	In this case, they are the White Helmets, which is another pro-Islamist jihadi propaganda outfit.
	This is an awful lot of effort to discredit Assad.
	Please let me finish this important point.
	The witnesses to these terrible events...
	Are people who themselves were involved in beheadings, literally picking up the body parts.
	And her head is gone.
	And we choose to give credence to testimony from these alleged first responders.
	But Assad's reputation is already very difficult.
	I'm trying to ask you a question to prove the point of what you're making.
	You don't allow, the BBC does not allow...
	We have a short period of time.
	I'm trying to probe what you're saying.
	The point is that surely that Assad's reputation is already dented.
	What would be in the interests of these people to stage these events?
	Is that not obvious?
	A child can see that the intention was to produce the hysteria and now the military action that we are on the point of taking, risking our own safety.
	What the jihadis have done is jerk our leash.
	And frankly, for one, I think it's pretty disgusting that we are allowing ourselves to have our own leash jerked by these Islamist fanatics.
	This is what's going on.
	And ask yourself, how has it profited Assad?
	Please, engage your brain.
	Answer the question.
	Engage your brain!
	Has asset benefited from all this mayhem?
	In fact, it's rebounded against him.
	Why would he do such a thing when he was already winning?
	The battle for Eastern Ghouta was virtually over.
	Why would he choose this moment to do the one thing that was guaranteed to pluck defeat for him from the jaws of victory?
	Thanks.
	Thank you very much for joining us this morning.
	And he's gone.
	Former British ambassador to Serie A. The time is 17 minutes.
	That's right.
	Time and weather on the 8th here on the Beeb.
	Yeah.
	Cut him off.
	Gotta get to weather and traffic.
	Gotta get to traffic.
	Time and traffic.
	Temp and traffic on the 8th.
	M1's clogged.
	M1's clogged.
	Yeah.
	Oh, yes.
	Yeah, avoid hot tubs, Peter Ford.
	Small aviation.
	Don't canoe on any water in Washington, D.C. Yeah.
	Don't hang out with Hillary.
	Well, maybe not in this case.
	That was a good clip.
	I'll give you a clip of the day for that find.
	No, thank you.
	That's...
	Clip of the day.
	By producers.
	Producers, baby.
	Producers.
	We also...
	Somebody dug that one up.
	Well, that's a very...
	It's an enlightening clip that you think that our news people would even kind of go...
	Pick up on it.
	Pick up on it.
	Everybody else...
	No, they're all...
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	And let's bomb Iran while we're at it because they're going to go back to their nukes.
	Yeah.
	So let's just bomb people.
	I mean, the kind of reaction you get, the Democrats are all in, and the Republicans are all in, and let's all just bomb them.
	Because they're all sucking on the teat of big oil.
	They're all sucking on the teat of big military.
	Yep, it's a twofer.
	Yeah.
	It's a BOGO. All kinds of bonuses.
	So what if World War III breaks out?
	Benny's and bonuses.
	I got mine.
	I'm out of here.
	I got a place in the Bahamas.
	Let's go to NPR. Very surprising.
	Again, one of our producers actually did a couple of clips for this, but I'm just going to play, I think, two.
	What are the Syrians thinking?
	What is life like in Damascus?
	Well, I have millennials in my life who are, you know, being frightened by this.
	Like, well, hold on.
	What's going on?
	It works.
	You know, this stuff really does work, especially on younger people.
	And NPR took to the ground.
	So what is your response to the saber rattling from Washington right now?
	Okay.
	Actually, I'm one of many people here in Syria, especially in Damascus.
	I can talk about Damascus because it's my city where I live.
	In general, life is quite normal today.
	Children went to school.
	People went to work just like any other normal day.
	I went to my work also.
	I went to the gym.
	Very, very normal day.
	I went to spin class.
	People are just talking about it.
	They are making a lot of fun of the whole thing.
	They are cracking jokes all the time.
	They're joking about it.
	Yes, a lot of jokes about it, to be honest.
	Okay, like Mr.
	Trump said that the missiles are going to be smart.
	So people are saying, oh, if the missiles are going to be as smart as Donald Trump, then the whole world must be worried.
	And many, many other jokes like, okay, let's get ready.
	Today we will prepare our popcorn and sit on the roof and watch the missiles coming.
	Some people are taking it a little bit seriously by starting to keep extra food at home, especially bread and rice, which is quite normal at such kind of situations.
	Some people get a little bit worried.
	Others are just living a normal life.
	I gotta say, I'm a little surprised to hear that because we see reports today that some commercial airlines have rerouted their flights away from Syrian airspace, worried about these threats coming from Washington.
	And that hasn't put people in Damascus on edge?
	No, not at all.
	Not in Damascus.
	Even in other governors.
	Like, I have colleagues from work.
	We have different offices all around Syria, and they are all cracking jokes on Facebook.
	Have you heard anybody?
	Not just cracking jokes.
	We're cracking jokes on Facebook.
	That's how much we're laughing about you nut jobs there in America.
	Damascus say they support the idea of some kind of attack or retaliation.
	Despite that kind of sense of humor that we are having and the sarcasm, people are quite angry, very upset.
	Of course, we totally differentiate between American people and the American administration.
	I have to make this very clear.
	Oh, my goodness.
	Well, if you remember when this whole thing started, early in our show, like I remember discussing this eight years ago, There were all these reports of the normality in Damascus.
	Even people who were communicating with us.
	Yeah, and there was, I don't know what they're talking about.
	You know, this whole thing still reminds me of the trumped-up, it was Guatemala or one of these places where the CIA had created, gotten a hold of the media, and they created this idea that this huge army was coming into town, We talked about this.
	We had some clips from some old agent discussing it, and it worked so well.
	They were marching into town, and they had convinced everybody that it was this huge army led by this guy nobody ever heard of who walked into an empty town because everyone abandoned this capital, and they just said, now I'm running the place.
	Was that the comedian?
	It's just the bad information used to control the public.
	Yes.
	Yes.
	And, of course, this could not last that the NPR guy would not, you know, stand for this too long.
	I think this is about the, she's refuting the chemical weapon attack.
	Okay, a lot of NGOs, local NGOs, are working near Douma now, receiving those people who are from East Ghouta and from Douma.
	They are receiving those people who are coming out.
	Some of them, they want to go to collective shelters.
	Others, they want to go to Jarablus to be evacuated to the northern part of Syria, to go to the Jarablus area.
	So people who are standing there from these local NGOs did not notice any people who are coming out with any symptoms of being attacked by chemical weapons.
	The Syrian Red Crescent and the International Red Cross are there.
	And the Syrian Red Crescent is a very repeatable non-governmental organization here in Syria.
	And the Syrian Red Crescent is one of the partners of the United Nations also.
	So the Syrian Red Crescent confirmed That there are no people who are coming out with any symptoms of being attacked by chemical weapons.
	And have you seen the videos?
	Have you seen those rescuers and wet helmets standing there, no masks, no suits, etc., and they are just spraying water from people who are attacked?
	I've also seen overwhelming video evidence of people trying very hard to breathe, people not moving.
	Exactly!
	But have you seen videos that were, like, leaked?
	From the White Helmets, etc.
	Showing how they are videographing these kind of things and they are just acting.
	How do you handle this as an NPR guy?
	Nomad, I don't really want to debate with you whether there was chemical weapons or not.
	I don't want to debate with you.
	Holy crap!
	That guy should be ashamed of himself.
	Isn't that great?
	I don't want to debate that with you.
	Oh my god, this is what we have to deal with.
	Yeah.
	I mean, I feel sorry for the public that has to, I mean, it's like they can't trust these people.
	You cannot trust the mainstream media, PBS, CBS, NBC, ABC, New York Times, Washington Post, all these guys.
	They're all dumb shits.
	There you go.
	I will wrap it up with, and this is also just kind of showing that we're not, if we're crazy, if you think we're crazy and you're listening to this, we're not the only ones.
	Just so you know, there's more of us.
	Here she's going to wrap it up.
	Where do you place your hope for an end to the violence in Syria?
	I hope that just Russia and America start to talk diplomatically and patch up, because this is a problem now between America and Russia.
	It has nothing to do with Syria.
	This time the U.S. administration is accusing Russia of using chemical weapons, and we all know the story about that Russian spy, etc., and how things escalated.
	So now it's just between U.S. and Russia.
	There you go.
	Of course not.
	It's about the dumb pipelines.
	I can't believe an NPR guy would defend the videos.
	You and I can put these videos together.
	That, you know, look like something's going on when nothing's going on.
	Then you make some, you know, you affirm that, well, this is taken here or there, and these people are all dead now.
	I mean, we've seen this.
	This was years ago when we used to see these videos where the dead person was breathing.
	Or it was the same dead person over and over again.
	I mean, this has been debunked so many times that you can't trust these videos at all.
	They're not even worth...
	You shouldn't even be watching them, but these guys know that there's a bunch of suckers out there, and so they'll keep producing these videos.
	And then to defend these crappy videos, there's no provenance.
	Oh, I'm sorry.
	No, no, no.
	I'm sorry.
	That fired by accident.
	I did not do that.
	I sure did.
	No, no.
	Seriously, I was actually glad you were talking because something froze because of something I did, and that was a total accident.
	Okay.
	Well, anyway, you get my point.
	I totally get your point.
	It's still frozen, damn it.
	So it's beyond me.
	And it's all this Dimension B stuff is that they've signed up for thinking this way and they're not going to even bother with trying.
	I mean, I had with the Lib Joes that we know.
	They don't even care to listen to any other side of any argument whatsoever.
	It's all set in stone.
	And there was – I forgot somebody sent us a note.
	I don't know if I have it for reading today.
	But they said that they were at the office and somebody says she believes in the Washington Post.
	Oh, it's one of our guys who sent it along, the guy giving us a report from the UK. Oh, yeah, it was a beautiful report.
	Very nice report.
	And he says that somebody in the offices, they believe in the Washington Post.
	I thought it was from New York.
	No, it was New York.
	You're right, not London.
	After Gwen Ifill quit, she had to be one of the layers.
	She was one of the editors, executive editors.
	The one we laughed about the hardest turned out to be the best.
	Yeah, and when she left, she died.
	But she left, all right.
	This stuff is creeping in.
	The guy's saying dozens.
	Oh, yeah, so dozens.
	They're just bombing left and right.
	These guys gassing everybody.
	When you turn around, he's gassing somebody.
	I love how you hate that.
	You're an old print guy.
	That old print guy.
	You got a visor.
	Green, green see-through visor.
	But sadly, you know, your Libjo buddies, they've just gone completely off the reservation.
	Do you ever remind them of their...
	What is the Hippocratic Oath for Journos?
	Constantly.
	For Journos.
	What is the Hippocratic Oath?
	There's none.
	Really?
	There is none?
	I constantly remind them that they're nuts.
	And I recently told them they were both unhinged.
	And one of us goes, huh?
	Huh?
	I know what I'm talking about.
	We have a few people to thank for show 1024, The Bite Show.
	Richard McCutcheon, $169.26.
	Sir Mac, Digital Knight of Mead, actually.
	Please have Dr.
	Pepper available.
	I guess he's being knighted.
	Oh, he's going to be knighted.
	Yes, we do have one.
	So, just Dr.
	Pepper?
	Well, yeah, so you mix it with something else.
	Yeah, but what do you mix it with?
	I mean, that's not okay for the round table.
	It's a little below our standards.
	How about adding it ourselves?
	Adding something.
	Okay, Dr.
	Pepper.
	Dr.
	Pepper.
	Get it?
	It's a joke.
	Ah, no, I don't like it.
	No, it's got to be something, either Dr.
	Pepper and some kind of rum or, you know, I mean, here's some other tips.
	How about Armagnac and Dr.
	Pepper, which does taste good together.
	But, you know, the way it's supposed to go is we have bourbon and bong rips, cold brew coffee and cannabis, boobs and stinky tofu, onion rings and ice cream, English muffins with butter and honey, Captain Morgans and women with questionable reputation.
	I mean, you know, something a little more.
	Yeah, a duo.
	Yeah, a good duo.
	Dr.
	Pepper and Prunes.
	How about Dr.
	Pepper and a handjob?
	A handjob?
	No!
	Dr.
	Pepper and Prunes.
	How about that?
	Okay.
	Handjob.
	John, get your mind out of the gutter.
	That was the name.
	This is a true story.
	That was the name that Acer was going to give their small pocket computer.
	Handjob?
	Yeah, this was a story told me by the CEO. Okay.
	I got a couple stories here.
	Wait a minute.
	Ten years.
	Honey, ten years.
	You've never told me this.
	So here I'm having lunch with the guy who's American CEO of Acer.
	And he tells me this story that they were going to – he says he's got to keep an eye on these guys because they're nuts.
	He says – and he tells me they were going to name their little – just during the era of the Castopedia and these kinds of pocket computers.
	And just the early days of Palm kind of thing.
	And palm computer, of course, has an implication.
	You use your palm to hold it.
	So they were going to name this little computer the handjob.
	And he had to put the kibosh on it because nobody, I guess, knew what that meant in Taiwan.
	Which is ironic if you think about those barber shops.
	So...
	So we're yakking away.
	He tells me this other story, and then he was fired shortly after this.
	No kidding.
	He tells me this story, not for the handjob thing.
	He saved the company.
	That would have been embarrassing.
	But he says that this one's And his wife was notorious for kind of really running Acer.
	Luckily, I got to sit at the table with him and his wife.
	His wife was one of those really sweet, nice ladies.
	But everyone hated her because apparently she was always meddling, which is not unusual in Chinese companies.
	So he would fly over to Taiwan to do business, and he'd always take a business class or some flight.
	Yeah.
	That always was never the cheapest flight.
	And she somehow had copies of the San Francisco Chronicle that held these cheap flights to Taiwan for 200 bucks.
	You know, cram them in airlines.
	Good times.
	Charters.
	And she would send him a page from the Chronicle with all these cheap flights circled With a note, why aren't you taking these flights?
	So he took another page from the paper, which had all these incredibly cheap junk computers for $100 or $200.
	These are just crappy ones made locally.
	And so he took and circled all these cheap computers, attached it to her note, and said, because...
	We don't sell our computers for this price.
	Wow.
	If you donated today, I think you certainly received your value.
	The price of admission right there.
	Great story.
	Within a couple months he was gone.
	I'm changing it to Dr.
	Pepper and a quick handy.
	I think that is more appropriate.
	Okay.
	Anyway, that's what I was talking about.
	I was talking about the little Acer computer.
	I wasn't talking about it.
	I don't know what you were thinking.
	But is she still running the company?
	No, no.
	She retired some years ago, and she went with him, and so the company is now run by professionals who aren't doing as well the way I see it.
	Well, here's my thought on it.
	Once we get our two-way pager network up and running, we're going to crowdsource a device, and we're going to call it the hand job.
	We could?
	All right, onward.
	Sir Uncle Dave, why not?
	Sir Uncle Dave, knight of the one-armed Bannis in Henderson, Nevada, comes in, and he did send us a note, which if I can find my glasses, I can read, and I will read it, because he's a knight.
	I'm not going to read the whole thing, though, it's too long.
	You guys are the George Carlin of the Small Batch Podcast.
	Dissecting how the media and politicians use words to confuse and profit off us slaves.
	As of Friday, I am declaring my freedom from being a wage slave by retiring from my job in the gaming industry to a life of travel.
	This is a shame because he was working for some of these big gaming companies that make the slot machines.
	He's going to do some reading and writing, doing whatever the hell I want, and listening to the best podcasts in the universe.
	Sounds like he made out.
	Well, somebody made out.
	As a result, I request three things.
	First, some retirement karma to keep me from mac and cheese lifestyle.
	Second, being now well-established in my 60s with my need for comfy shoes and clothes, that Trump style, a little title change to Sir Uncle Dave Knight of the Retired Old Farts.
	Okay, we'll give him a title change.
	Nice.
	Hold on, because I didn't have that on the spreadsheet.
	I wouldn't, because it's in this note.
	Ah, okay, of course not.
	Just mailed in.
	Okay.
	Sir Uncle David, Knight of the Retired Old Farts.
	And can you please play the theremin jingle followed by a goat scream in honor of the theremin I built around 50 years ago as my first electronics project?
	You've got karma.
	Okay, so Uncle Dave, Knight of the Old Farts.
	Okay.
	Old Farts.
	Oh, no, the retired Old Farts, sorry.
	Knight of the retired Old Farts.
	Nice.
	He's their leader.
	Russell McGurton.
	I just had a visual of that.
	Bunch of dudes.
	Hey!
	Chemtrails, man.
	$102.40.
	Knees Karma.
	Put that at the end for you.
	Yep.
	Brian Pesky in Saline, Michigan.
	102.40.
	These are our bike guys.
	102.40.
	Ah, nice.
	Okay, bike guys.
	See, I don't think he's on the birthday list.
	Pesky?
	Yeah.
	Yeah, he is.
	51, April 11th.
	Yep.
	Sir Woody of the Dakotas in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, 102, 40.
	Christian Schlatter in Untersigenthal, I guess in Switzerland.
	Yeah.
	The Bite Night newsletter is just priceless, and Zucky looks like a robot.
	There's a lot of funny stuff in that newsletter.
	It was a great newsletter.
	I liked it.
	I loaded it up with funny material.
	Yeah, more great album covers.
	That is such a hit.
	You are a podcast marketing genius, my friend.
	I am.
	That's me.
	People don't realize it, but this is really what makes the network swirl with value.
	Kevin McLaughlin in Locust, North Carolina, 102.40.
	Episode 32 squared.
	He's a Viscount of Luna, Sir Kevin McLaughlin.
	Sir Patrick Coble, 102.40.
	He couldn't resist.
	It's been too long since his last donation.
	He maybe wants to come down to Biloxi.
	Salmon Brown in West Winfield, New York.
	And that ends their 102.40.
	240 well-wishers.
	Onward with Tim White.
	Whoops.
	Tim White comes in with 100 even.
	Wayne Todd, 100.
	From Mount Pleasant, Michigan.
	A lot of Michiganians in here today.
	They have some names.
	It's not Michiganian.
	It's something.
	Michiganers.
	Shannon Brame in Houston.
	99.99.
	Chris Beggio.
	73.
	73.
	73 is to you?
	73.
	Scriptor Alex in Chicago, Illinois.
	6666.
	He sent a note in that for some reason I made a note of it because there's something funny about it.
	Oh, no.
	He sent a bunch of jokes in.
	He wants me to try to slip into the show.
	Oh.
	I will say this.
	About that.
	We do have a joke writer we can use for this sort of thing.
	Is he that good?
	I will see if I can get any of these in.
	It's not going to be easy.
	He's that good, huh?
	Our joke writer, Marty Higgins, is.
	Oh, right.
	He still writes for you?
	If I ask him.
	Here.
	I'm going to do one of the scripture's jokes.
	Producer pointed out to me that my growth here in tarot cards is number 11, which means strength and lust.
	And this was convenient because when I read the note, I was craving pickles for some reason.
	So I went down to the kitchen and opened up a brand new jar of pickles.
	So there it is.
	Strength and lust.
	Ugh.
	All right.
	Yeah, see what I mean?
	Yeah.
	But we welcome him to...
	I think the delivery was pretty off as a joke.
	Yeah, well, I would challenge you to...
	I'll send you the next one and you can deliver.
	Mitzi Shore is already rolling over in her grave.
	Dame 17 Scar in Sacramento, California, 66.
	Sir Stephen McConnell, 66 in Cortland, Ohio.
	Kyle Mann, 64, parts unknown.
	Julie K. Smith in Coldwater, Michigan.
	She sent a card in.
	She always sends a card in.
	She's a card sender.
	Just Julie shows it.
	Hopefully you notice that my small boobs, which is what her donation was, 6006.
	She says, hopefully, by the way, this gave me an idea.
	Hopefully, you'll say that my small boobs aren't lopsided.
	My husband will also get some job karma if it worked for me in my last donation, so we'll put some for him at the end.
	Yes, of course.
	But I was thinking, because she talks about lopsided boobs with women always work.
	Yeah, one's a little...
	They're all...
	Yeah, I mean, you can't be robot symmetry.
	Each boob is different.
	It's impossible.
	Yeah.
	But, you know...
	But I'm thinking a donation, if somebody wants to do this, and it should be a woman admitting it, 80-06.
	You are a donation genius.
	I am.
	80.06.
	Michigander is the name.
	Michigander.
	Michigander.
	80.06.
	That is just a human boob.
	Human boobs.
	And we understand this, and we're okay with it.
	We've been around.
	Not our first rodeo.
	Per Ingvarsson from Sweden.
	5678 says stay unglued.
	Paul Webb in Twickenham, Middlesex, UK, 5555.
	Amanda Rossett, 5510 from Vernon Rockville, Connecticut.
	Aaron Lambert, 5433.
	Yeah, and the next one, David Corbinu.
	He sent us the massive pack, wasn't it?
	Yeah.
	The crazy stuff.
	You know, you should publish that as a giblet or something, right?
	I don't know.
	I think I'm going to talk to him about that.
	Yeah.
	Because if he can do about three of these and stick them together, I think there's money to be made.
	What is it?
	Is that something you put in the newsletter or?
	No.
	Well, I can put it in the newsletter.
	It's very long.
	I mean, I would love to read it, but it's a little too long.
	Oh, no, it's too long.
	But it's very good.
	It's very good.
	Anyway, he came in with $50.33 in a note.
	It reads a bit like a movie treatment.
	It reads very well.
	It's very well written.
	He should be a writer.
	Doesn't he write stuff already?
	Why does that ring a bell with me?
	Well, he's in advertising.
	Oh!
	So he might be a copywriter.
	Copywriter, yeah.
	No, I think he says he's a dude named Ben who works in advertising.
	Yeah, you know, dude named Ben, dudes named Ben write more than writers.
	A lot of them.
	Yeah.
	Drew Mochak and El Cerrito down the street here from me.
	These are all $50 donors, name and location.
	Robert Bruckner, Drew Mochak, Joseph Barnes, who's in Oakland.
	And should probably consider coming to the meetup that we're going to have eventually.
	Dave from Atlanta.
	Or did I miss somebody?
	Because I'm skipping down.
	Hold on a second.
	You got Joseph Barnes.
	Oh, that's interesting.
	I'm getting the same skip.
	What the hell?
	Emily Nolfo.
	Okay, she's number...
	Does that make sense?
	Well, I... Dave from Atlanta is underneath her.
	So it's Joseph Barnes and then it's Emily Nolfo.
	Can you read it or do you want me to read it?
	Oh, there it is.
	I got it.
	Why are we reading it?
	We're not supposed to read $50 notes.
	We're not going to read it.
	These are the lonely people!
	But don't make a long note like this.
	Yeah.
	No, it's too bad.
	I mean, that's just the deal.
	We're already running late today.
	I mean, really late.
	Yeah, Dave from Atlanta, 50, Robert and Emily...
	What was her last name?
	Emily Nolfo.
	I think she had a call out in there, but maybe not.
	Robert Deceney in Fairfax, Virginia.
	Jason Zeisler.
	Why don't you read her note while I'm finishing?
	I am.
	Jason Zeisler.
	Brett Yeo in Cantonsville, Maryland.
	Robert Gardner in Parts Unknown.
	And last is Kyle Meyer in Atlanta, Georgia.
	I want to thank all these folks for helping us out on the show.
	1024, The Bite Show.
	The show coming up on Sunday.
	Let me see.
	It's a very, very long note, but she's Mariela.
	She's the girlfriend of Colin Cunningham, the deaf, dumb, blind knight.
	He sure knows me and pinball.
	All right.
	We'll read this and then he'll read this.
	Yeah.
	I mean, there's a lot to digest right there.
	Okay.
	Well, thank you all very much.
	Thank you to our Byte contributors and everybody who came in under $50.
	That is usually for reasons of anonymity, but there's a lot of subscriptions.
	And thank you very much for valuing what we're doing.
	I'm having fun today.
	If you're having fun, think about us that way.
	You having fun, John?
	I'm having the time of my life.
	Jobs, jobs, jobs, and jobs.
	Let's vote for jobs!
	Yay!
	You've got karma.
	It's your birthday, birthday.
	Oh, no, I can't.
	Here's your list for today, Matt.
	Matthew Samar celebrates today.
	Happy birthday.
	Michael Robinson says happy birthday to Mark Beecham of Melbourne.
	He'll be celebrating his birthday tomorrow.
	The day after on the 14th, Patrick Davies celebrates.
	James Pyre says happy birthday to his son E.J. He'll be 14 today.
	And Brian Pieske, 51.
	Pieske or Pieske, 51.
	Turned that yesterday.
	We say happy birthday from everybody here at the best podcast in the universe.
	And we've got a...
	And we thank you very much, Sir Uncle Dave, who now changes his title to become Sir Uncle Dave, Knight of the Retired Old Farts.
	Thank you for your courage, sir.
	One knighting to do, John.
	Here's my sword.
	You've got it right here.
	I see it.
	We're spiffy with this one today.
	Richard McCutcheon, come on up!
	Next to the lectern here on the podium, thank you very much for contributing to the No Agenda Show in the amount of $1,000.
	That places you squarely at the round table with all of our knights and dames, and I am very proud to pronounce the K-D. Sir Mac, a digital knight of mead.
	And for you, by request, we have Dr.
	Pepper in a quick handy, boobs and stinky tofu, cold brew, coffee and cannabis.
	We've got bourbon and bong rips, trophies and tires, smoke, onion rings and ice cream.
	We've got harlots and haldol.
	We've got cowgirls and coffin barners.
	We've got some breast milk and pavum, ginger ale and gerbils, and mutton and mead.
	NoahGenerNation.com slash rings.
	Please give Eric the Shield all of your information and he will get that off to you as soon as possible.
	Okay.
	Ah, wow.
	It's been quite a lot of topics today.
	Yeah.
	Well, Zuck took up a lot of time.
	Yeah.
	Are you in a hurry?
	Yeah, I'm always in a hurry.
	We've got things to do, people to see.
	Babies to kiss.
	Press some flesh.
	Got it.
	This is a little bit of an algo story, just to lighten the mood somewhat.
	Confirming what I'd heard from the former New York banker from Bloomberg regarding the pricing policy, Uber's new pricing policy.
	I haven't taken an Uber in a while, but I remember the last time I did, it told me how much it was going to cost right up front.
	I'm like, oh.
	Well, I'm not going to take the Luke, so why don't I just take the other one?
	Because it's the same car.
	You know, I've figured that much out.
	The difference between their black or their Luke's or whatever is exactly the same car, but the driver may have a minimum 4.5 rating or some crap like that.
	So I'll take my risks.
	Here's a Bloomberg report on it.
	Uber rolled out upfront pricing for passengers where they just told passengers, you're going to pay this.
	But drivers were still being told and the public was still being told it was routed in the same calculation, time and distance.
	And what we've learned is that Uber is now doing something else.
	It's time and distance and then sort of a route's propensity to pay.
	Basically, you know, people traveling from point A to point B, you know, we'll run experiments and see how much we think they're going to pay at a given time of day, and then we'll charge them that.
	And then Uber pockets the extra money that it makes, sometimes reinvesting into driver bonuses or incentives to riders, but they make that extra money instead of passing it on to drivers.
	How does Uber decide whether to charge more on a particular route?
	I mean, they're using machine learning algorithms, sort of predictive technology to try and figure out, okay, if we charge a little bit more for UberX, our sort of peer-to-peer service, and a little bit less for UberPool from here to there, is that optimizing for our income and for usage?
	So basically they're running all these experiments tied to geographies, tied in a time of day to say people traveling from this place to that place, how much are they willing to pay?
	And then based on those experiments, set the price.
	There's a business model for you.
	Gee, sounds like a nightmare.
	Yeah, I kind of like that Lib Joe.
	You know, he's like, oh, the drivers are getting screwed.
	Forget about the drivers.
	How about the customers?
	Yeah.
	Yeah, it's like, oh, wait a minute.
	Oh, it's curry.
	Yeah, they can jack your individual prices up on the individuals, sure.
	But the thing is, as a consumer of this product, until I was told, I really didn't think about it.
	I really, I just, I really, it just didn't even cross my mind.
	Like, oh, that's just the cost.
	You know, I figure it's per mile, you know, the typical.
	But no, it's not per mile.
	They're just like, eh, he'll pay this much.
	That's, it's, that's pretty novel.
	Yes.
	All right, well, let's see what else we got.
	Pot sales in California aren't what they expected.
	Oh, you're doing a little clip blitz on me, I guess.
	...have not bought as much marijuana as expected since the drug became legal.
	The Sacramento Bee reports retailers racked up $339 million in sales in January and February, but that's about $44 million less than analysts had expected.
	The figures were provided by a Colorado company called BDS Analytics.
	The state is expected to provide its own sales figures by the middle of next month.
	Well, 333 for two months.
	Oh, they just got started.
	It's going to go up.
	It'll probably be close to 400 million every couple months, which amounts to a lot.
	400 times 6 is 2.4 billion dollars.
	Hmm.
	So, you know, they get some tax money out of that.
	These other states have to be looking at that.
	California, you know, I don't know what they're going to do with this tax money besides, you know, put it in people's pockets, but it sounds reasonable.
	Let's see if there's anything.
	I guess the big story that, well, we're hearing it here, and I didn't really do a full EU report, but I can still do that on Sunday.
	But this is, I'm sure everyone knows about the story in the U.S. now as well.
	We're aware that over the last three months, and in particular in the last several days, we've had an unusual spike in horrible homicides, ghastly events that have taken people's lives and devastated other people's lives.
	We clearly, as a city, have a big problem now.
	It's only affecting a small proportion of the city, but it is a horrible problem, and it has devastated lives in the last few months.
	So looking forward, we all need to work together, and from our part, we need to up our efforts, and that's exactly what we're doing.
	And this is all about the knife crime in the U.K., which is just...
	Yeah, and they have a higher death rate than Detroit.
	Yeah, it's incredible.
	First of all, they're banning the British equivalent of the assault rifle, which is the zombie knife, which I immediately, when the story broke, ordered one on Amazon.
	And I know it was delivered because I got the notification because they'll be off Amazon soon enough.
	What is it?
	Ah, you gotta Google.
	Bing it, I mean.
	Sorry, I gotta get...
	What's wrong with you?
	I don't know.
	I'm messed up.
	You go to the EU, next thing you know you're saying Google it.
	Yeah, hold on a second.
	I gotta de-Google-fy myself.
	What's the...
	What was the name of zombie knife?
	Zombie knife.
	Yeah, zombie knife.
	Yeah, one too.
	What are they good for?
	Are they a good steak knife?
	Go ahead.
	Yeah.
	Oh, this thing?
	No, that's the whole song.
	I got two of them.
	I got two of them.
	Start the music.
	No, I just want the jingle.
	Jeez, how about this one?
	What are zombie knives are the Street Blaze band in the UK, and I've got the images up, and it looks as though there's two or three kinds of these.
	It looks like a company.
	There's a stiletto, and there's one that looks like an axe.
	Yeah, I kind of got one of those, all curvy and stuff.
	And this one's got a big curved blade.
	I don't know what good that is.
	Yeah, with the curved blade.
	The one that looks like a Klingon knife?
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	I got something...
	There's a big scala of choices.
	There's a whole crap load of these things.
	They're all different looking.
	So which one did you get?
	Well, now I would have to look up the...
	You want me to look it up?
	Well, I'm kind of interested.
	Many of these are just nerd knives.
	I can look it up in my...
	Let me see.
	Well, what I did was I got the one that most accurately represented the British press, their interpretation of the zombie knife.
	So, okay, here we go.
	Ah!
	Oh my goodness, it's a good one.
	Okay, look for the Z-Hunter...
	Zulu, as in Zulu, Zulu Hunter, ZB020, as in Zebra Bravo 020, Zombie Killer Machete...
	Two-tone, full-tang blade, green cord wrapped handle.
	23 and three-quarter inch overall.
	No, is this the one?
	I said this is the one.
	I think I've got it.
	Yeah, the Z-Hunter.
	Yeah, it's got a little thing at the end.
	It could be a steak knife.
	Because the little thing at the end looks like you could cut it.
	Yeah, well, it's a little big.
	See, it's got the serrated edge, it's got the hook, it's got the head slicer.
	Yeah, it's got everything you need to kill a zombie.
	Yeah, I would put it, I think it's a wall decoration.
	I think, but I think it's a collectible.
	Well, you know, there's a lot of guys, usually fat guys, and many of them are from Texas, who collect knives.
	I better start eating.
	Yeah.
	Okay.
	I'm glad you bought that.
	It sounds like a good use of your money.
	How much did it cost?
	It was very cheap.
	I just closed the window.
	Like 20 bucks or something.
	It's not that expensive.
	It's a ridiculous deal.
	I think you get a bunch of these and just a whole bunch of them and use them as steak knives.
	It is a little long.
	Why don't we just use them as night instead of night rings?
	That's funny.
	That's a thought.
	Yeah, well, I'm still thinking about that.
	They'll be bringing them to meetups and stuff.
	No, not a good idea.
	Yeah, I'd be starting, yeah.
	We don't want that.
	There's already enough hardware at the meetups.
	So I picked up this little mini clip, which I think is a classic.
	I don't know why.
	This is another thing reporters are doing nowadays.
	They're putting their, you know, they're like correspondents from the White House or they're from somewhere.
	And they do these field reports and they can't get anybody to say anything to them.
	So they decide to put stuff on that's really just them yelling at the guy.
	And you see this also at some of these press conferences where they have a camera on the reporter asking a question.
	But let's listen to this.
	This is Mr.
	Manafort.
	Did you commit a crime?
	Mr.
	Manafort, did you commit a crime?
	Any reaction, Mr.
	Manafort?
	Good morning.
	Good morning.
	Mr.
	Did you collude with Russians?
	Oh, sorry.
	That's the wrong one.
	Where'd it go?
	Oh, man.
	Where's my any collusion?
	Ah!
	Damn it.
	Too bad.
	I got also this.
	Kamala Harris was on Ellen's show and she said something that she thought was funny about killing people in an elevator.
	I'm sorry, did I blow your clip?
	No, no, go ahead, play it.
	This has been all over the news here, I guess because Ellen is funny.
	Ellen is?
	She's funny?
	They find her very funny.
	They find her very endearing here.
	Oh, she's endearing, that's for sure.
	That kind of reminds me, I do have...
	Not a funny clip at all, actually.
	But, let me see, where did I put that?
	It was Loretta Lynch?
	Did you see her interview with, what's his face, Lester?
	No, I didn't see it, no.
	Ah!
	This was about, you know, she's kind of refuting that she told Comey to call, not to call the Clinton investigation, investigation, but to call it a matter.
	Have you heard about this?
	Yeah, he said she told me, call it a matter, not an investigation.
	And I was like, whoa, you know, that's kind of weird.
	I'm paraphrasing.
	This was Lester Holt.
	I think it was on the Today Show, maybe.
	And here he asked the question.
	James Comey was testifying before Congress, I think it was June of last year, and he noted that you had asked him to call the Clinton probe a matter, not an investigation.
	But he said it made him feel, I'm paraphrasing, it made him feel strange.
	He noted it.
	What did you mean when you said, let's call it a matter, not an investigation?
	Well, you know, I heard about that testimony.
	I didn't watch it at the time, but it was brought to my attention later, and people were raising it with me.
	And my first response was, you know, what is the issue here?
	You know, I remember specifically talking with him as we talked about sensitive things on a number of occasions.
	You know, we often would have to discuss sensitive matters, sensitive issues, terrorism and the like, you know, law enforcement policy and the like.
	And this was a very sensitive investigation, as everyone knew.
	And the issue when he and I sat down at that time, which I think was early in the fall of 2015, was whether or not we were ready as a department to confirm I think we're good to
	go.
	Well, you know, I can tell you that, you know, it was a meeting like any other that we had had where we talked about the issues.
	We had a full and open discussion about it.
	You didn't raise any concerns about it.
	And concerns were not raised.
	Uh-huh.
	Yeah, she's a liar.
	Yeah.
	First of all, the big lie is that she didn't watch it at the time.
	Right.
	Oh, I was doing something else.
	Yeah.
	I had nothing better.
	I had something better to do.
	Yeah.
	She was glued to it.
	Let's face it.
	Why wouldn't she be?
	Yeah.
	All right.
	What else?
	I got a...
	This is a short...
	This is not Eliza Schlesinger, but this is another comic that was just floating around.
	Somebody just linked me to it.
	I don't know who she is.
	But listen to...
	This is the joke that I keep bringing up, which is...
	Well, she says it in here.
	The sexual harassment hall pass.
	I'll be like, if a woman walks by, can I even say she looks nice?
	And men, this is how you cannot get accused of sexual harassment.
	It works almost all the time.
	Men, all you have to do is be hot.
	I saw this with Tina as she laughed.
	Yeah, all you have to do is be hot.
	You want to not get charges of sexual harassment, just be hot.
	Oh man, that's priceless.
	Alright, you want to wrap it up here?
	Well, let me get another couple of these shorties here.
	Alrighty.
	We have an insane homeless guy.
	I can run that to the next show because it's pretty funny.
	Oh, come on.
	You whetted my appetite.
	About the insane guy?
	What?
	Let's do a...
	These are local stories, but here's the one that's got all of everybody's attention, which is the little house in Glen...
	down in Willow Glen, San Jose area.
	The $800,000 teardown.
	New at 10, a burned out home in San Jose's Willow Glen neighborhood is selling for, get this, $800,000.
	It's another sign of just how out of whack Bay Area housing prices have become.
	Yeah, KTVU's Asnith Smith is at the home on Byrd Avenue.
	Asnith, the realtor says for some home buyers, this actually might be considered a bargain.
	Seriously?
	Yeah, Frank and Heather, the realtor tells me that a bidding war may even happen.
	It's obvious when you see this house, it needs to be remodeled, possibly torn down, demolished.
	The realtor tells me the asking price is reasonable given the housing market and its location.
	So this thing is a burned out Hulk.
	I've seen it.
	Oh, you see?
	I think it's a national story.
	Yeah, I saw it.
	But, I mean, look, I can't call you my friend because you don't have Facebook, but I really should recommend you think about getting out at the top of the market.
	You know, your place has got to be worth some bucks.
	And if, you know, it's a teardown, let's face it.
	With all that stuff you got in there, no, no, you're not going to clean that.
	Just tear it all down, dispose of everything.
	But who cares?
	Yeah, I can move to Wyoming.
	The show will really be so much better if I do that.
	Washington.
	Washington.
	Okay.
	Let's see what else I got here.
	There's a couple.
	You know, one story, we do have to do this story and then we can quit.
	All right.
	And I do, I think I have the lead.
	You know, Trump's lawyer's office was raided.
	Yes, yes.
	This is really odd.
	Very odd.
	And I have first the introductory clip, which is CNN, which is raiding the lawyer's office.
	You can play that.
	We have a breaking news just in the New York Times just reported that the FBI today raided the offices of President Trump's longtime attorney, Michael Cohen, seizing records.
	Related to multiple topics, including on that payment to adult film actress Stormy Daniels' alleged hush money, the New York Times also reporting that the FBI also seized emails, tax documents, and business records, and that the records include communications between Michael Cohen, the president's attorney, and President Trump.
	Which would likely require a special team of agents to review because conversations with lawyers and clients are protected in most instances.
	This is a breaking news story.
	My panel is here with me to discuss the breaking news and react.
	And let me start with you, Bill Kristol.
	The fact that the FBI, apparently with a referral from Bob Mueller, the special counsel, is raiding Michael Cohen's office.
	This seems rather significant.
	And I assume they would need a warrant to do that, which means a judge would have had to have found, and I'm not a lawyer, so don't hold me to this, but some reasonable reason to do this.
	The FBI can't just go read, Office is not its own.
	So that's interesting what a judge found, that there was some reason to take a look at these records in Cohen's office.
	Yeah.
	What was the reason?
	Well, I think I found the reason.
	Okay.
	Even though everyone's all bent out of shape about this, it seems as if Mueller decided that there was a crime committed, And he had to report it, so he gave it over to the FBI, and then they busted it and got it.
	And here is the only rationale, I think, that actually makes sense, as opposed to, oh, they're just doing a fishing expedition to try to get the goods on Trump.
	I don't think it has anything to do with Trump.
	I think it's a situation where Mueller, as a law enforcement officer, had to report this particular crime.
	And it's kind of a joke what this crime is, but it's why bust the lawyer one theory.
	Yeah.
	It's still unclear what the FBI was looking for.
	Bank fraud regarding the payment to Stormy Daniels has been suggested.
	Sources tell Fox News Cohen paid Daniels from an existing home equity line of credit and that he didn't need to tell the bank what the money was for.
	The $130,000 was then transferred to an LLC solely owned by Cohen and from there, wired to an attorney in Beverly Hills.
	Wire fraud.
	President Trump denies any knowledge of the transaction.
	Wire fraud.
	Well, I think wire fraud may be a part of it, but I think the main thing is bank fraud.
	Huh.
	Oh, man.
	Because he took out a loan, a home equity loan, which you only do to improve your property or...
	Generally speaking, maybe you could take it out for any old reason.
	That's what he claims.
	Or then wire fraud may be a fallback.
	But it's something like that.
	It's got nothing to do with Trump or the Russians.
	And there's probably some tax implications somewhere along the line with the LLC in the middle.
	You can't just pass that all through.
	He should have just shut up.
	Yeah.
	Well, I'll tell you.
	He's going on, oh, I got the money, I did it, and Trump did nothing to do with it.
	Why don't he just shut up?
	Yeah.
	He's a lawyer.
	He knows better.
	Yeah, he's not a good lawyer.
	Well, not if you can't shut up.
	But that's concerning.
	This is the people the president surrounds himself with.
	These are morons.
	Well, maybe you got an upgrade here or there.
	Well, I would be remiss without telling you what the American public is not only really interested in, but they're excited.
	And, you know, apparently...
	Stormy also says she's talking with federal investigators as well, and she's also coming to see and talk with us on Tuesday for her first live interview.
	Oh, yes!
	Yes, Stormy!
	Oh, she'll save us!
	I suppose they're looking into many, many, many, many things.
	Oh, many, many, many, many things!
	Well, first of all, Stormy's not her name.
	What?
	And I kind of prefer PBS because they use her name, which I don't even have off the top of my head.
	Yes.
	Because it seems to me that they keep using her stage name.
	That's just promotion for her.
	Yeah, but they do that with actors, too.
	As a fat stripper.
	I mean, ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Bobby Zimmerman.
	Come on.
	Well, if there's in the news...
	I mean, didn't he change his name legally to Bob Dylan?
	I'm not sure about that.
	She's Stephanie Clifford.
	There you go.
	Okay.
	Okay, we're done.
	Wow.
	Way over time.
	Way over time.
	Wow.
	You know what the biggest problem is?
	You can't stop the machine.
	No, that's not it.
	It just keeps recording.
	No, we never exited executive mode, but I'll do that at the very end.
	So we're just douchebags the whole time.
	Executive douchebags.
	Kind of something like that, yeah.
	Yeah, okay, well that's fine.
	Alright everybody, this was your bi-weekly media deconstruction.
	So you know Stormy Daniels, her height's 5'7".
	And apparently her weight is...
	2,010 pounds.
	Who says that?
	Oh, I'm sorry.
	I'm reading the wrong line.
	Never mind.
	Okay.
	Fine.
	Coming to you from the Garden of Amsterdam here in Gitmo Nation Lowlands, where maybe you'll still figure out how to do the meetup.
	Remember us for our coming show.
	John will be in Biloxi.
	I'll still be here.
	That will be on Sunday.
	Until then, I'm Adam Curry.
	And from northern Silicon Valley where there's still Kung Fu fighting.
	I'm John C. Dvorak.
	We will speak to you again on Sunday right here at No Agenda.
	And really until then, in the morning, remember us at Dvorak.org and...
	Adios, mofos!
	I need a cab.
	Cab.
	Here's one.
	That's it.
	What happened?
	They are big and they are deep.
	That hits hard.
	Right here on The Onion, a report about Kentucky seniors who...
	That hits hard.
	Freshman basketball players.
	Well, this is a stunning development, Ari.
	This is a really important question.
	Into a tool...
	It's against the law.
	For me personally, the fact that people...
	Right here on The Onion, a report about Kentucky seniors who...
	I'll leave that for a minute.
	We're at the kangaroo pantry.
	Stunning development, Ari.
	This is extremely dangerous.
	I'm dirty in college.
	Soon after taking the city of Mosul, they announced on the loudspeak the speakers of Mosul.
	Stormy has a dress.
	It's relatively easy.
	Oops.
	Sorry for that.
	Since on this election, they are big and they are deep.
	Question on.
	In the dark, what's being stopped?
	On the healthy and manipulated people of color.
	Big and they are deep.
	At his heart.
	Or undercounted.
	We're not counted.
	Personally, the fact that people would not.
	Peek or a wizard.
	Pay utilities.
	We'll be right back.
	Step right this way!
	Roll up!
	Roll up for the shape-shifting Jews!
	Roll up, the magical shapeshifting Jews.
	Roll up, a little illustration.
	The magical shapeshifting Jews.
	Roll up, it's such an aggravation.
	The magical shapeshifting Jews.
	Leaping in a railway station, got no ticket for no destination.
	The internet that we keep on, came to an end before it starts.
	No light has this shopping cart and a master's in the liberal arts.
	Homeless bound, I wish I weren't.
	Homeless bound.
	Home, where the junkies spiking hearts.
	Home, where the crazy's fighting.
	Home, where my tent lies in the park amongst the trees.
	But each day they forget, it seems, about biological human needs.
	I don't think they've thought through the plan, cause with a lovely toilet man, you don't think of the garbage man and take a crap where you can.
	Wish I weren't.
	Home was bound.
	Home where the junkies barking.
	Home where the crazies fighting.
	Home where my tent lies in the park amongst the trees.
	Tonight I'll sleep in the underpass Bugs, juice, syringes and broken glass I'll dream of a lifeless stock Worked 48 hours in a techno park Walked for miles after dark To my trailer behind Walmart
	Home, where the junkie's spiking.
	Home, where the crazy's fighting.
	Home, where my tent lies in the hunk amongst the trees.
	All come and now it flees.
	We need a jingle or something that goes, entering executive mode.
	Now entering executive mode.
	Now entering executive mode.
	For when we talk about how hot chicks are on TV.
	Yeah, because we don't really normally talk that way except when we're in executive mode and what we're doing in reality is ridiculing the people that talk that way.
	Yes.
	At the same time, being very frightening and showing how good we are at it.
	We could be.
	Well, we are executives of our own show.
	Here is a follow-on question.
	This is about how it really came down, or it went down, what happened first, and the inventory of lost items.
	I cut most of Shafits out.
	And she looks...
	I have to say this, because I'm not...
	I don't like to criticize people as...
	People's appearance.
	Oh, come on.
	This is television.
	Hold on.
	Now entering executive mode.
	It's kind of a feeling about the way somebody presents themselves.
	Now entering executive mode.
	I'm talking about Gestalt.
	She's almost a dead ringer for Bill Gates.
	Time in executive mode has expired.
	Please make your way to the exits.

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