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Dec. 24, 2015 - No Agenda

02:49:54

784: Hot Rhetoric

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Time	Text
	Hey, when you show up for a Christmas show, you got a show.
	Adam Curry, John C. Devorak.
	It's Thursday, December 24th, 2015.
	Time once again for your Gitmo Nation Media Assassination Episode 784.
	This is No Agenda.
	Celebrating a man with a white beard selling camel.
	Broadcasting live from the capital of the Drone Star State here in Fever Region 6, Austin Tejas.
	In the morning, everybody.
	I'm Adam Curry.
	And from northern Silicon Valley, where it's actually been raining for a couple of days, and I guess we need it.
	it.
	I'm John C. Dvorak.
	Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas to you and Merry Christmas to all the listeners.
	And producers, too.
	And producers and the family of No Agenda, the No Agenda family, the Knights and the Dames.
	Yeah.
	Everybody.
	Everybody behind the scenes.
	Oh, yeah.
	Everybody.
	Oh my goodness.
	We're getting good spam in the chat room.
	I apparently suck roosters.
	Why?
	I don't know.
	Because we promote Trump and Putin.
	We promote Trump and Putin.
	Trump and Putin.
	It's the Trump and Putin show.
	I'm Adam Trump.
	I'm John Putin.
	Putin!
	Putin!
	I think we need a beer.
	Where do we get...
	Do you have your beer?
	You didn't bring your beer?
	No.
	Oh, come on.
	You've been bringing your beer for the past three episodes.
	I don't have any more cans of anything.
	I'm going to drink mine then.
	Looks like the shores are washing in.
	Yes, there is.
	Schlitz malt liquor, baby.
	There's nothing like it on the podcast.
	All right.
	Well, of course, most deconstruction news programs, etc., will start with the big global news of the day.
	Here on the No Agenda show, of course, we view worldly events in a different light through media and sometimes popular culture.
	On the beat, as usual.
	Ah.
	Wait a minute, that's my cue, I'm awake.
	On the beat, as usual.
	Ladies and gentlemen, with a report from the scandal known as Miss Universe 2015, John C. Dvorak.
	Yeah, here I am.
	All right, so now you didn't even want to watch this thing, and boy are we happy to do this.
	It would have been a huge blunder.
	Yeah, that would have been bad.
	So you watched it in real lifetime, or tape delay?
	I taped delay.
	Tape delay.
	All right.
	That way I could plow through the commercials.
	There's way too many.
	And it broke a number of things we predicted were going to happen didn't happen at all because Trump doesn't even own the thing.
	I know.
	How did we miss this that he sold the whole operation?
	Well, I know that after they banned, they wouldn't play his shows, so he sold them.
	I have...
	Except with Miss USA, if you remember, they didn't put it on TV. That's right, yeah.
	I didn't know that he had sold the whole franchise, though, that he sold everything.
	Yeah.
	I have a little Donald Trump clip with his latest suggestion from this morning, if you want me to bring that in, and then you can retroactively...
	Bring it in and I'll go off on the whole thing.
	Perfect.
	Well, it was something, I guess, that can happen.
	Steve Harvey is a great guy.
	I like the way he got out and did it.
	No, Steve Harvey is a jerk.
	He's a great guy.
	The worst host ever.
	Is he...
	Steve Harvey is a nincompoop, is what you want to say.
	It certainly was terrible for the young woman from Columbia.
	But, you know, things happen.
	It's live television.
	And, you know, the new owners are tremendous people.
	Tremendous.
	It's William Morris Entertainment.
	They're tremendous losers is what they are.
	I owned it for 15 years and I sold it and they gave me so much I said, come on, we have to make this.
	Every once in a while you have to do something.
	If you still owned it and you were sitting there as this happened, what would Donald Trump have done?
	Yeah, and I know they're going to be calling me today, and they've already got a call scheduled.
	What would I do?
	I'll tell you what I think I'd do.
	I think I'd make them a co-winner.
	It would be very cool.
	Make them a co-winner.
	Because what happened to the girl from Colombia is devastating.
	To give it to her for a couple of minutes and then take it away, I think.
	And you have a whole country.
	You know, last year we had a young woman also from Colombia, the entire country.
	I mean, they took like a vacation for about a week.
	The whole country was wild, so you can imagine what happened.
	I would say this.
	I would recommend that they go have a beautiful ceremony, which is good for the brand and good for Miss Universe, and do a co-winner.
	Oh, yeah.
	Co-winner.
	Who comes up with this?
	Co-winner?
	That's dumb.
	Well, I don't know, dumb or not.
	All I know is that he's full of crap about this entire exposition he just gave.
	He's happy for the owners.
	The owners are great people.
	If the owners were great people, they wouldn't have put up with or allowed the following clip, which is the Perez Hilton clip.
	They're introducing the judges, and Perez Hilton, of all people, is one of the judges.
	And he's been a judge on Miss USA for years at Trump's behest.
	Ready?
	Yeah.
	And Perez, you've been a judge from Miss USA, but this is your first time here.
	Is this the right one?
	What is the difference between the two competitions?
	Wait a minute.
	Oh, okay.
	I see what she's saying.
	This is his first time here on this one.
	And Perez, you've been a judge from Miss USA, but this is your first time here.
	What is the difference between the two competitions?
	Well, the two big differences are, one, a lot more people are watching Miss Universe.
	Correct.
	That's good for my brand.
	Thankfully, Donald Trump no longer owns this pageant.
	Oh, good one!
	Good one, Perez!
	Good one!
	He did not!
	Oh, no, he doesn't!
	He said it!
	Thank you for that, Perez.
	Back to you, Steve.
	He'll be the first to go.
	So he says this gratuitous insult of the past owner of the show who hired him for the Miss USA pageant.
	He slams him just to get a cheap laugh.
	The host is asking the question.
	She's cracking up thinking it's hilarious.
	And then they cut to Steve Harvey and he's thinking that's hilarious.
	Let's insult the old owner.
	Wait, is there a Steve Harvey insult clip?
	There's no Steve Harvey insult.
	Okay.
	No, Steve Harvey's thinking that this is hilarious.
	It's great.
	Yeah.
	Little did he know.
	And he had, well, it caused the curse.
	I think it caused the curse.
	Oh, it's like missing Sankanamaya, yeah.
	Exactly.
	I think there was a...
	Immediately when they did that, the curse began.
	And for those of you just hearing one of John's reports on one of the many beauty pageants that he is so expert in, the reason why we do this is we like to look at geopolitical reasons why a certain country wins some form of global or regional...
	A competition.
	So we have the Eurovision Song Contest, and we have the World Cup, and all these things can be fixed, as in they can be rigged.
	Yeah, well, this particular event, they don't have a clue.
	They're not plugged in.
	Well, because Trump sold it, that's why.
	Yeah, I know.
	It's just random, completely random.
	The girls, this is another thing, which was kind of surprising.
	Tell me about the girls, John.
	Well, the girls...
	When Trump ran the Miss Universe pageant, it was wall-to-wall outrageous beauties.
	Yeah.
	Obviously, this, no.
	Okay.
	Not even close.
	Everybody was mixed race, with very few exceptions.
	Miss USA was not.
	Hmm.
	But everybody else was, and you could spend most of your time trying to figure out what mix they are.
	The French woman, for example, who was Miss France, who was really, she was one of the really pretty girls, but she was like, I don't know, she was like from Martinique or something.
	Island girl, island French girl.
	She was an island girl, but she had European features, but she had Asian features, and she had Polynesian features.
	You just keep staring at her, but she was French.
	Anyway, overall, the women all looked great in bathing suits, it seemed.
	At least they had them all come out in bathing suits, not one at a time, but they all came out to dance and sing and jump around in bathing suits.
	Wait, they was jumping around going on?
	Oh, I miss this.
	They were jumping?
	Oh, man.
	And then when he did some pans of the girls that didn't win or didn't get into the finals, they were mugging to the camera.
	Duckface?
	Which was never allowed by Trump.
	Duckface?
	Yep.
	Oh, man.
	There was one duckface.
	There was another girl that was winking and blinking.
	It was ridiculous.
	The duckface one was hilarious.
	But so it was not as well done as when Trump owned it.
	Let's put it down.
	You know, what I'm missing...
	What you just kind of said, no one has done this analysis, has said, when Trump owned the brand, and what did this air on?
	What network did this air on?
	I believe it was ABC. Okay.
	So when Trump owned the brand, we had...
	It might have been Fox, but I think it was ABC. I think it was ABC. No, it may have been Fox.
	Anyway, it doesn't matter to me.
	When Trump owned...
	This is what I'm missing from everybody.
	Trump, the obvious xenophobe, racist, Islamophobe, everything-phobe, When he owned the brand, the women were pretty, and they won properly, according to the script.
	Yes.
	No one has said, yeah, Trump, you know, they screwed it up, he sold it, and then they screwed it up.
	That's an easy one to do.
	Well, this is what it looked like to me.
	They sold it, and the conspiracy theorists have said this was rigged, which I don't believe.
	I don't think so.
	I think Steve Harvey was a terrible host.
	He was fumbling and spumbling.
	You know what?
	He has never watched a competition, and that's why he doesn't know the way it works.
	And I saw the cue card.
	There's a photo I put in the show notes where it has second runner-up, first runner-up, and then winner.
	And the names of the runner-ups and the winners are very, very small font.
	But that's how you do it.
	The first runner-up is, and he should have said, Columbia, Miss Philippine, you're Miss Universe.
	That's how you do it.
	Everybody knows this.
	Yeah, he obviously has not watched these things.
	You could tell by the way he brought the women over.
	Instead of, welcome, Miss Canada, to get them to come over to answer the questions.
	And his was always, France, you're next.
	Yeah.
	It's true.
	France, you're next.
	USA, you're up.
	And I've done some celebrity pageant judging in the past.
	My favorite was in Secaucus, New Jersey with Boy George as my fellow judge.
	This was after the heroin.
	It was all fat and bald and stuff.
	Nice guy, but damn.
	Boy George judging the women.
	I don't know.
	Well, Harvey also made the mistake of constantly editorializing.
	Oh, good.
	For example, let's play Miss Philippines, who won the competition overall.
	Play her question.
	This is the Miss Universe Q Philippines.
	Good.
	All right.
	Here is your question.
	Earlier this year there was a controversy in the Philippines about the United States reopening a military base in your country.
	I love the music.
	Do you think the United States should have a military presence in your country?
	I think that the United States and the Philippines has always had a good relationship with each other.
	We were colonized by the Americans and we have their culture in our traditions even up to this day.
	And I think that we're very welcoming with the Americans and I don't see any problem with that at all.
	That's pretty good.
	Thank you.
	Woo!
	Yeah.
	Exactly what I would have said, Inc.
	Exactly.
	Nailed it.
	Idiot.
	Wait, did we colonize the Philippines?
	Yeah.
	It was during the Spanish-American War.
	He says...
	Nailed it, is what he said.
	That's exactly what I would have said.
	Nailed it.
	Nailed it.
	Awesome sauce!
	What is he doing that for?
	I don't know.
	Well, maybe because she nailed it and she...
	I don't know.
	No.
	He said it with everybody.
	He was all very complimentary.
	When he did Miss USA, which is the only other one that's kind of interesting, one was about should you legalize marijuana?
	This went to...
	Should we listen?
	I don't have the marijuana one.
	Oh, I have Miss Universe QUSA. Yeah, that one.
	Now, this one here is the classic.
	They asked everybody.
	Here's the way it went.
	Every question was specific to the nation.
	So Miss Philippines got asked about the Philippines having married.
	Oh, that makes sense.
	So, yeah, of course, we'd have to talk about guns and crazy.
	Miss Columbia about drugs?
	Yes!
	What did they ask her?
	They asked Miss Columbia whether or not drugs are a bad thing for society in a blame-like way.
	Really?
	Like it's Columbia's fault.
	That's what they asked?
	And then they asked Miss Australia, the tall one.
	How about those kangaroos, Miss Australia?
	No, instead they asked her about legalizing marijuana.
	In Australia?
	Yeah, and so she's beating around the bush about that, and he's like laughing.
	First, I should have clipped this one, I guess, because he asked the question like this.
	In Australia, they're thinking about, whoa, legalizing marijuana.
	So it was really lousy.
	I mean, this guy's really happy.
	Well, it kind of fits.
	First you give up your guns, and then you get everyone to smoke weed.
	What do you want me to do, boss?
	So back to the gun thing, Miss USA. Play it.
	USA, your turn.
	Your turn.
	Hello.
	Hi Steve, how are you?
	Good, here we go.
	Few issues in the United States are more polarizing than gun ownership.
	The argument really heats up after major tragic events such as San Bernardino and Sandy Hook.
	What's your position on gun control?
	This is an incredibly difficult issue and the United States is constantly battling and weighing our options.
	I think that it's incredibly important that all individuals have the right to protect themselves and feel safe.
	But I also think that sometimes we need to look at the safety of a hole more than our own personal safety.
	So I think we need stronger regulations.
	Specifically, I think that we need to pay attention.
	Pay attention. Pay attention. Pay attention. Pay attention.
	She meant to say...
	Say something.
	You stepped all over to Harvey.
	I'm sorry.
	I'm sorry.
	I'm going to play it again.
	Thank you.
	It's perfect.
	We need some gun control.
	What did he say?
	He said, perfect, we need some gun control.
	Now, I find that interesting coming from him because, as you recall, he had this clip of Tavis Smiley and one of these black rappers on him.
	Smiley said, and who I respect for saying it, he says, he doesn't understand how any black man in America can't be all for the Second Amendment and have guns.
	Let me see, was that, uh, that was one of your clips?
	Yeah.
	I might have it here.
	It might be under Tavis or something.
	And I'm reading the newest show, Rolling Stone, and Jan Winner, the publisher, has an interview with President Obama.
	I like Jan Winner, but I think his interview kind of missed the mark.
	There's some questions that he should have asked that he didn't of the president in his interview, but I gleaned from...
	I don't think that's it.
	Is that it?
	I don't know.
	The president tells John Winner that his favorite TV show is Homeland.
	No, that's something different.
	It's strange.
	Okay, I don't know what it's labeled.
	I don't know where it is.
	But I understand what you're saying.
	But anyway, Harvey does this sort of thing throughout the whole...
	Oh yeah, that's what he does.
	If you've ever seen Live at the Apollo, he'll be mumbling to himself.
	That's what I'm talking about.
	That's the best podcast in the universe.
	That's right.
	It's a little bit of a podcast.
	Go podcasting.
	Podcasting.
	That's how he talks.
	That's his shtick.
	Well, they had this show, they had the question, but after the question, they got the three women back, the three finalists, Miss California, Columbia, and Philippines.
	Miss USA. Sorry?
	Miss USA, not Miss California, Miss USA. The reason I keep saying Miss California is because she talks like this, and she's a dingbat.
	And she thinks that we should have changed the gun laws.
	Anyway, I watched this with Mimi, and she reminds her of a character that Mimi once wrote for one of her comic friends.
	She's using the bit in London right now.
	Oh.
	In the old Stratford?
	On one of the stages.
	That's what I mean.
	Be under it.
	Okay.
	So they do this gimmick.
	They decide to ask everybody the exact same question.
	Oh wait, is this the put on the headphones thing?
	Yeah.
	I always wonder, what are they playing in those headphones?
	Does someone get the answers?
	I don't know, but they all sucked.
	And it was a stupid segment.
	We can play a bit of it.
	I only have the beginning.
	I think this is Miss Universe headset gimmick.
	Time for your final word.
	Colombia and Philippines, headphones on.
	Headphones on!
	Were they Beats headphones?
	USA, please step up to the mic.
	Oh my.
	Are you ready?
	Here it is.
	Why should you be the next Miss Universe?
	I think that I should be the next Miss Universe because I am so passionate and so driven.
	It is my goal to inspire people from around the world to believe in themselves, to be themselves, and to follow their wildest dreams no matter what those dreams are.
	I want to work to bring equality towards men and women.
	It is time to step up into power women and I want to empower women all over the world.
	Alright.
	Wow.
	I think she thought she had it nailed there.
	I did it!
	She was not the brightest bulb in the pack.
	Yes.
	And...
	She was pretty.
	She came in third out of three.
	And she was happy when Harvey, because she was kibitzing with Miss Philippines on the side when Harvey came out to re-announce the winner.
	And I do have the whole segment.
	It's a little long, but I shrunk it as much as I could.
	But it's such a fantastic, dramatic moment that I think if you take a little time to play this, if you watch it on television, I compressed a bunch of it.
	If you watch it on television, it was about a five or six minute moment, and it was extremely uncomfortable to watch.
	As a television professional, producer, or as an audience member, or both?
	I think, well, if you were looking at it from the perspective of a television producer, your jaw would be on the ground because of the way this was handled.
	It was poorly done.
	But as an audience member, I think it was very...
	And in my case, I knew what happened.
	What did the little jerk-off Perez Hilton say?
	He said nothing.
	Oh, okay.
	And it's here to play and we'll enjoy.
	There are two women left.
	Colombia and Philippines.
	Please join me over here.
	One of you is about to become our new Miss Universe.
	If for any reason she is uneven to fulfill her duties, the first runner up will take her place.
	Good luck to both of you.
	I can't do my duty.
	Miss Universe 2015 is...
	Ah, the suspense.
	This is killing me.
	Colombia!
	Ha ha ha!
	Whoa!
	Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
	There she is.
	Okay, folks.
	There's- I have to apologize.
	The first runner up is Colombia.
	Okay, hold on.
	Stop for a second.
	So we're watching this, and they don't even...
	She has a translator with her.
	She can speak very little English.
	She speaks some and speaks it with a good accent, but not much.
	And they never bothered to bring the translator out.
	So Harvey is there.
	She doesn't know what's going on.
	And so she's standing there.
	I didn't bring anybody to tell her what's going on.
	That's great.
	It's hilarious.
	That's fantastic.
	And so the other, meanwhile, the Miss Philippines is going, what the hell's going on?
	And she's up by Miss California.
	America.
	I did it again.
	Yeah, Miss USA. Miss USA. And Miss USA thinks this is great.
	You can just see it.
	Because she's eliminated.
	She's out.
	She doesn't give a crap.
	So she's talking to the Miss Philippines.
	Oh, what do you think's going on?
	So they're going back and forth and the Miss USA woman is just having the time of it.
	And everybody else is kind of looking around.
	And so it continues.
	Boy, I missed some good television.
	And by the way, after he...
	Brings out Miss Philippines.
	The audience, you don't hear so much, and then they skip ahead again.
	But during that moment of the next skipping ahead, they're booing him.
	Yeah, one of your better sound effects, I have to say.
	It's actually what it is, I'll tell you.
	You have a reel-to-reel at house, a Reevox.
	I've got a Reevox with a little thing with a razor blade that I can cut.
	Yeah, and then you just...
	Yeah, you cut, yes.
	And then you...
	I get this crazy little piece of tape.
	Do you remember doing...
	Tape echoes but with loops and you'd make a loop and you'd have to hold it with a pencil.
	Do you remember doing that on the reel-to-reel?
	I've known it to be done.
	Because you had a really long loop and it would be too big for the reel so you'd hold it with a pencil and then it would just loop around and sometimes you get another guy with another pencil to make a loop echo effect.
	What this was was that vamp they were playing, the same stupid tune, and what I did was I just highlighted it with the audacity and then changed speed 1000x.
	Excellent.
	Miss Universe 2015 is Philippines.
	Listen, folks, let me just take control of this. - Yes.
	This is exactly what's on the card.
	I will take responsibility for this.
	It was my mistake.
	My buy-in.
	It was on the card.
	It's my buy-in.
	Horrible mistake, but the right thing, I can show it to you right here.
	My buy-in.
	The first runner up is Columbia.
	It is my mistake.
	Still a great night.
	Please don't hold it against the ladies.
	Please don't.
	We feel so badly, but it's still a great night.
	Thank you all.
	Okay, we're here.
	There's dad, mom, the twin.
	So they play her off with that little ditty.
	Yeah.
	And then they just kill the show.
	And they just went straight to commercial because they were out of time.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, it went to the top of the hour.
	It was done.
	Yeah, it was done.
	But meanwhile, I was expecting more, because I was watching the thing on YouTube, and this girl was back there, Miss Columbia, crying, her eyes out, surrounded by the other girls.
	It was pathetic, and I thought, well, you know, if this was rigged, they would have shown that.
	I don't know, this was the biggest botch I've ever seen on television.
	How hard can it be?
	That ABC can't even really capitalize on it.
	You know?
	You should be following the drama and the backstage and the crying.
	I did see some videos of Miss Columbia at the airport.
	They should be capitalizing on that.
	But no.
	No.
	Because it might hurt their feelings.
	It may have been Fox.
	Let's see now.
	And how many people watched it?
	I think it was Down.
	Down.
	Let's see.
	It was such a botch.
	It's three hours, this show.
	Three hours.
	So there must have been plenty of time for rehearsals.
	Somebody said that Harvey never went to the last hour of rehearsals.
	Yeah.
	Possibly.
	Because I can imagine.
	The guy seems like...
	You're right.
	Miss Universe was on Fox.
	You're right.
	You're right.
	Okay, so Fox screwed the dog on this.
	And 5.6 million viewers.
	Not even worth discussing.
	Yeah, 5.6 is lousy.
	Yeah.
	Everyone was watching NFL Overrun.
	25 million people.
	Why are we even talking about this?
	Stop.
	We should talk.
	Well, that's what we're talking about.
	So you don't have to watch it.
	Yeah, exactly.
	Exactly.
	They should have just said glitch.
	It would have been so much easier to say glitch.
	You know, the other thing about Harvey, which is annoying, I was watching him, and they'd bring out Columbia, and they'd have the translator.
	So the translator, and the French was actually worse.
	They had Miss France, and the translator was like some dwarf.
	And it's like, so you got this thing, and she'd say something in French, and then Harvey would look and stare at the translator, but he would do it as a, I commented on this with Mimi, it was a slow burn.
	He would slowly turn his head, like a comic, and then he would stare at this guy for an extended period of time.
	Oh, okay, that was another part of his shtick.
	I don't know if that's a shtick or it looked stupid.
	I saw him on Comedians Drinking Coffee in Cars with Seinfeld and I thought it was dumb.
	He should have just said glitch.
	It would have been much easier.
	Glitch, glitch, it's a glitch.
	I'm sorry.
	I blame Trump.
	Thank God he wasn't there to make it work right.
	Alright, let's talk a little bit more about Trump in the...
	Thank you very much for your report, John.
	Is it over?
	Is it done?
	I'm done.
	I should stop doing these.
	Slow clap for you.
	No, you shouldn't.
	The only thing I think is maybe something you want to reconsider for future reports.
	Don't watch this with your wife.
	It skews you.
	No, she's just as good as I am.
	Yeah?
	On physical appearance?
	She finds these things to be...
	On physical appearance, yeah?
	Yeah, in fact, we went back and forth on a couple of them.
	Trying to determine the...
	That, my friend, that, my friend, is what you need to record at home.
	Well, believe me, it's not that interesting.
	All right.
	I have a couple of catch-up clips.
	What?
	It would be like, wow, she's got a big one.
	Well, that would be nice.
	Okay, go on.
	Everyone is still very, very curious and trying to find the videos that ISIS is using to recruit people.
	And I have a clip.
	I have a clip.
	Well, I think my clip's a setup clip.
	You have a setup clip.
	Okay, I have the communications director for Clinton.
	Okay.
	No, no.
	This is the way it was reported to the public by ABC. ABC seems not to be much of a Clinton fan at all.
	And they're still all in for Jeb Bush, even though that's a hopeless case.
	But ABC is definitely not in for Hillary.
	And here's the report, which is...
	No, that's Democracy Now.
	I got the ABC one here somewhere.
	Is it Clinton and another movie?
	No?
	About Trump.
	Yeah, yeah, that's it.
	Okay, here we go.
	The backgrounder.
	John Carl with us now live from the White House.
	And John, back to Hillary Clinton and what she said at the ABC debate, that ISIS is using videos of Donald Trump to recruit jihadists.
	Has her campaign provided that video?
	The Clinton campaign has provided no direct evidence to back up the allegation that ISIS is using Trump's words to recruit terrorists, but Clinton herself doubled down today.
	She pointed out that Trump's words have been broadcast all over on Arabic television, and she said that plays right into the hands of violent jihadists who want to portray the U.S. as anti-Muslims.
	Yeah, and I want to say something about that allegation.
	But first, here is...
	We've played her before.
	I forget what her name is.
	I think it's mentioned at the beginning of the clip.
	She's the communications director for Hillary.
	Hillary.
	And this woman is freaking out.
	She's freaking out about this question.
	She tries to change...
	Because Hillary is a pathological liar, and these people have to do anything they can to make up for it.
	Well, it gets better.
	They do three things.
	This woman does three things.
	First, she's really going to try and change the whole situation around and throw it back to Trump.
	Oh yeah, it gets better.
	She also changes the statement Hillary Clinton made, and she evokes her savior.
	Hillary's savior, I should say.
	I like this clip.
	This morning, your response to Donald Trump.
	You know, Donald Trump, I think, starts off great, doesn't it?
	What am I doing here?
	I wasn't prepared for a Trump question.
	This morning, your response to Donald Trump.
	The, you know, Donald Trump, I think, was talking, you know, what Secretary Clinton was saying last night is that one of the many dangerous things about Donald Trump is that his hot rhetoric, saying we should not...
	His hot rhetoric.
	She's hyperventilating.
	Yes, yes, she's freaking.
	I told you she's freaking out.
	And she says, his hot rhetoric, John.
	We've got to write this one down.
	This is new.
	Hot rhetoric.
	Hot rhetoric.
	That's the title of the show.
	Yeah, maybe.
	I'm writing it down.
	Hot rhetoric.
	Hey, everybody!
	WHCZ 100!
	Adam Curry here with your hot rhetoric!
	Last night, one of the many dangerous things about Donald Trump is that his hot rhetoric say we should not allow Muslim refugees into the country.
	She can't even talk.
	I know, it's really bad.
	You know, what Secretary Clinton was saying last night, one of the many dangerous things about Donald Trump, is that his hot rhetoric, saying we should not allow Muslim refugees into the country, is being used, and this is something that the Sight International Group has.
	Oh, wait a minute.
	Oh, hold on.
	Is she evoking Rita Katz with the Sight Intelligence Group?
	And she'll do it again.
	But listen, she changes it a little bit.
	Who monitors social media on ISIS. But there have been no videos.
	Well, what they have said is that they are using him.
	He is being used in social media by...
	Hold on.
	Hold on.
	The quote was videos.
	Not he is being used in social media, which is being tracked by Rita Katz, who is following them on Twitter.
	No.
	No.
	It was about videos, but now she changes it to say he's being quoted in social media.
	ISIS has said that there have been no videos.
	Well, what they have said is that they are using him.
	He is being used in social media by ISIS as propaganda.
	She didn't have a particular video in mind, but he's being used in social media.
	Again?
	And, you know, what they haven't found is this group hasn't found a video that, you know, Mr.
	Trump keeps talking about this alleged mystery video of thousands of people in Jersey.
	Really?
	So she tries it.
	She tries to say, well, they haven't found the video that Mr.
	Trump said he saw of thousands of Muslims celebrating in Jersey.
	But it is true that he is being used in social media by ISIS. To help recruit propaganda.
	You don't have a video, as she said.
	She's not referring to a specific video, but he's being used in social media by ISIS as propaganda.
	Sight International Group, which monitors, this is what they do, they monitor ISIS on social media, they monitor other terrorist groups on social media to see what they are using, and they have said that they are using him in social media as propaganda to help recruit support.
	Okay, so let's just recap.
	Is that it?
	There's got to be more.
	That's it?
	Well, you get Clip of the Day for that.
	Well, thank you.
	That's kind of...
	Clip of the Day.
	I think we should review this for a moment, because not once...
	Wow!
	Not once, but twice does the hyperventilator bring...
	Do you want to be her, or do you want to be Rita Katz?
	Who do you want to be?
	Uh...
	Oh, that's a good one.
	Both are challenging.
	I like to do the hyperventilating, but I'll let you do the Harabi Rita Katz.
	Okay, so to review, Rita Katz has this outfit, this company called SITE, S-I-T-E. Yeah, go ahead.
	SITE Intelligence.
	SITE Intelligence Group.
	And all of the videos of the, you know, the ones that are beautifully produced, where you see the head cut off, but you don't really see it, the way you see someone dying, but you don't really see it, they cut away, they fade to black, but oh, trust us, it's there, all come from this outfit, all from one place, and they're always, you know, We found this on the dark web, on jihadist websites.
	Never do they publish the website.
	None of that.
	And yeah, they follow jihadists on Twitter, which just makes no sense to me if you know how technology works at all.
	You know, these would be the honeypot to get these people to pull them down.
	That's what the FBI and CIA, everyone should be doing.
	But no, Rita Katz now does whatever someone pays her to do.
	Okay, so I'm Rita Katz.
	No, I'm...
	You're the restless wonder.
	Okay.
	Hello?
	Hello, Rita?
	Rita?
	It's the communications director from Hill.
	Hill, Hill, Hill.
	Oh, yeah.
	Hey, how you doing?
	Oh, we need...
	Tell me you found some...
	videos.
	Donald Trump Muslim stuff.
	I need help.
	No, well, you know, when Hillary said that comment, we looked around for a legitimate video, and as you know, we created it.
	Rita, Rita, Rita, Rita!
	The one that we found actually highlights Bill Clinton.
	And he's called a fornicator.
	And that's all we've got.
	So we're going to have to make something.
	It's going to cost.
	This is a $150,000 gig record.
	I think the Bill video needs to be lost.
	What am I going to tell?
	Bill video is a real video.
	Get back to me when you catch your breath.
	Okay.
	Dope.
	So I saw the Bill video.
	I didn't even know about the Bill video.
	This is great!
	There's a real video floating around, and it's on YouTube buried in a Japanese jihadist site.
	And one of our producers sent it to me.
	And it's a recruitment video in English, and it doesn't look like a Rita Katz production.
	It's not bad, though.
	And it's got a lot of explosions.
	They use that $5 explosion video.
	Oh, excellent.
	Yes, love that.
	Love that.
	Yeah, yeah.
	And then they start, they show all these presidents and they go, liar.
	And they show George Bush and they name these guys.
	And then when they think, here comes Clinton's big head comes on and they say, fornicator.
	That's the only Clinton video I can find.
	That's great.
	Fornicator.
	So they don't want to show that one.
	No, and that wasn't shown, it wasn't discovered by the site intelligence group.
	Yeah, no, it was a real one.
	Yeah, no, this is a Hillary again.
	She gets up in front and she just makes stuff up.
	It's like the time that she was being shot at.
	In Iraq.
	Yeah, that was great.
	Oh, was it Kandahar?
	It was Kandahar, I think, wasn't it?
	Yeah, it was something.
	Oh, we had to run for our lives.
	Yeah.
	Here is Donald Trump about this accusation.
	She's terrible.
	Donald Trump is on video and ISIS is using him on the video to recruit.
	And it turned out to be a lie.
	She's a liar.
	She is a liar.
	You got that right.
	And then, I guess Trump said somewhere about Hillary going to the bathroom.
	We now know that she did not want what I've heard.
	Is that she was laid back to the podium because there was a staffer for...
	I don't know who she works for, but she was in the bathroom, and she used to be Elliot Spitzer's girlfriend.
	And I guess Hillary didn't want to be in the bathroom with anybody, let alone with her.
	And so she waited until that woman was done, and then she went in, and then Donald Trump apparently said that she got schlonged.
	She got schlonged.
	And this is how MSNBC took this.
	What they used to call in the 90s the Clinton.
	This is David Brock, by the way.
	Who's David Brock?
	Is he a journalist, writer?
	I have no idea.
	I'll look him up.
	What they used to call in the 90s the Clinton crazies, but it's back with a vengeance.
	And I think, you know, to the extent that some of this is hatred for Obama, and you see in the latest Zogby poll, majority Republican voters believe he's Muslim.
	Zogby poll, pay no attention.
	Now pay no attention.
	They don't believe he's a Christian.
	What we're going to see and what we got a taste of last night was the misogynistic attacks on Hillary Clinton, which also had a racial appeal as well.
	The idea of a black rapist basically using the strong to defeat Hillary.
	I think that's what that really was about.
	You think that there is a deeply racial rapist and violent subtext.
	We can't say that enough.
	The crowd really loved it.
	So, to review...
	Here's the way I have to look at this.
	This is like the George Bush dilemma.
	With George Bush, the left was always, the guy's an idiot.
	He's an idiot.
	Or, he is a conniving fiend.
	Intelligently designing these things.
	They couldn't make up their mind.
	They have the same problem with Trump.
	Is he smart or is he stupid?
	I believe that this was not, the Schlong reference was not something that he had contrived or thought about.
	No.
	I think it just came out of him.
	It's natural humor.
	It's a New York Jewish type thing that you just yell.
	Yeah.
	Get that slung on him.
	I get it.
	But what is interesting, and I want to come back to this conversation about Trump and the Muslims.
	So first of all.
	Well, before you go, I want to keep it on the topic that you were on because I do have a clip.
	Well, but it'll come back around.
	It'll come back around.
	I'm going to leave it back to you.
	Promise.
	So first of all, what this David Brock says is incredibly racist.
	Because he's presuming that all black men have schlongs, which is slang for huge dong.
	Schlong!
	Big schlong!
	Black men got big schlongs!
	So I find him to be racist.
	Yeah, very racist.
	Now, the thing that bothers me the most, and it kind of hit me.
	Most of the people on MSNBC are incredibly racist.
	The thing that really hit me, though.
	So, is the media and the politicians and everyone, except for Donald, everyone is against Donald Trump.
	They're all saying that his hot rhetoric will push Muslims over the edge to then go kill people.
	How racist can you be?
	You're telling me Muslims are so stupid that they'll watch Donald Trump and go, time to kill the people.
	That is the racism.
	And you're saying this to American Muslims.
	There's a percentage of y'all, you know, who will be pushed over the edge by Donald Trump and go kill people for Allah.
	Racist.
	That is racist.
	This whole thing is despicable.
	And this is what Muslim Americans should say.
	Hey, excuse me.
	We're not all morons.
	We see Trump.
	We take from him what we want to understand.
	We get it.
	I'm not going to go kill people because of him.
	Sorry, that is the apology that should be made to the Muslim Americans.
	I think you're absolutely correct.
	You're right on the money.
	You'd get clip of the day for that.
	Thank you.
	Oh, I'm sorry.
	I promised I'd bring it back to you.
	Yes, I want to go back to this analysis of Trump and Hillary and the bathroom break.
	And I do want to say one thing.
	I have it on high authority that many white men have huge schlongs as well.
	There's a club.
	There's a club?
	Yeah, I saw this some years ago, probably 20 years ago, I saw this on some, like the Merv Griffin show or something.
	That's more than several years ago.
	Who was the head of the Big Dick Club.
	Is that what it's called?
	Something like that.
	And it was a Big Dick Club.
	And then a guy came on, the most arrogant, by the way, Milton Berle was supposed to have a huge one.
	The guy comes on and he just goes on and on about how great it is.
	Hey, would this be bigdickclub.tumblr.com?
	No, probably not.
	No, but I'm sure you could get a clue there.
	And this guy went on and on and on about how everybody's inadequate except the guys in this club.
	I found the whole thing to be incredibly insensitive.
	Anyway, onward.
	Yeah, there's a lot of guys with the big ones.
	Now, this is DN. But do you think Chinese have big ones?
	We're not going there on this topic, or the Japanese either, for that matter.
	This is Democracy Now doing the same overview of Trump, and they're giving him, I think, more grief than the clip you had.
	Meanwhile, Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump has continued to spark outrage and concern over his language.
	Speaking at a campaign rally in Grand Rapids, Michigan, Trump repeatedly said he hates journalists, but that he wouldn't kill them.
	This clip begins with Trump referring to Russian President Vladimir Putin.
	And then they said, you know, he's killed reporters.
	And I don't like that.
	I'm totally against that.
	By the way, I hate some of these people, but I'd never kill them.
	I hate them.
	No, I think...
	No, these people?
	Honestly, I'll be honest.
	I'll be honest.
	I would never kill them.
	I would never do that.
	And he's pointing at them.
	I would never kill them.
	But I do hate them.
	At the same campaign rally, Donald Trump sparked criticism with continued sexist comments.
	I think that actually, that is hate speech.
	When you say I hate someone, that's hate speech.
	Yeah, Simon says hate.
	The H word.
	But I do hate him.
	At the same campaign rally, Donald Trump sparked criticism with continued sexist comments about rival candidate Hillary Clinton.
	First, he began talking about Hillary Clinton's bathroom break during Saturday's Democratic presidential debate, saying, quote, What happened to her?
	I know where she went.
	It's disgusting.
	I don't want to talk about it.
	No, it's too disgusting.
	Don't say it.
	It's disgusting, he said.
	Then he began talking.
	Why don't they play the clip?
	Is it more interesting?
	I wondered that myself.
	I'm pretty sure it's because the transcript reads better than what Trump said.
	I think that's an old trick, and I think it's being played.
	It's possible, but the way he said it was pretty close to what she said.
	No, it's too disgusting.
	Don't say it.
	It's disgusting, he said.
	Then he began talking about...
	No, you know why?
	You know why she does that?
	Because she does not want anyone to have the illusion that she actually studies it, but will take the effort to watch what that crazy man said.
	That's what's going on there.
	I know where she went.
	It's disgusting.
	I don't want to talk about it.
	No, it's too disgusting.
	Don't say it.
	It's disgusting, he said.
	Then he began talking about Hillary Clinton's loss to President Obama during the 2008 presidential race, saying, quote, she was favored to win and she got schlonged.
	She lost.
	Schlong is the Yiddish word for penis.
	In response...
	Hold on, I have to write that down in case I didn't realize.
	Thank you very much.
	Schlong is the Yiddish word for penis.
	Lost.
	Schlong is the Yiddish word for penis.
	In response, Jennifer Palmieri, the communications manager for Clinton's campaign, tweeted, quote, We're not responding to Trump, but everyone who understands the humiliation this degrading language inflicts on all women should.
	You know, I have the prolog to that.
	All women should be degraded by his use of the word schlong.
	Yes, because they're not getting the schlong.
	I have the prologue to this, which is the actual tête-à-tête between George Stephanopoulos and Trump about Putin, which I think is worth playing.
	You okay?
	Yeah?
	Yeah.
	One final question about Vladimir Putin.
	When you were pressed about his killing of journalists, you said, I think our country does plenty of killing, too.
	What were you thinking about there?
	What killing sanctioned by the U.S. government is like killing journalists?
	Well, I think, number one, I think Hillary, when she was Secretary of State, made some horrible, horrible decisions.
	And thousands and thousands and even hundreds of thousands of people have been killed.
	I mean, you look at what went on in Libya.
	You look at so many bad decisions that she made.
	Quick reminder, George Stephanopoulos is not only a former and still a Clinton operative, he also is a donor to the Clinton Global Foundation.
	And if anyone knows anything about the Clinton body count, as in how many friends and close friends and less close friends around the Clintons have wound up killing themselves by shooting themselves in the head two times and had the gun in their left hand, It's hilarious.
	As far as I'm concerned, as far as the reporters are concerned, obviously, I don't want that to happen.
	I think it's horrible.
	But...
	In all fairness to Putin, you're saying he killed people.
	I haven't seen that.
	I don't know that he has.
	Have you been able to prove that?
	You know the names of the reporters that he's killed?
	Because you've been hearing this, but I haven't seen the name.
	Now, I think it would be despicable if that took place, but I haven't seen any evidence that he killed anybody in terms of reporters.
	Here's what Mitt Romney tweeted about that.
	He said there's an important distinction here.
	Now, what Trump is about to do, listen, I have heard my Jewish business partners back in the day take a pause and answer this question just like Trump does.
	It's uncanny.
	He's a New York Jew, I'm telling you.
	It's uncanny what he does.
	Thug Putin kills journalists and opponents.
	Our presidents kill terrorists and enemy combatants.
	Does he know for a fact that he kills the reporters?
	I don't know.
	I don't think anybody knows that.
	It's possible that he does, but I don't think it's been proven.
	Has anybody proven that he's killed reporters?
	And I'm not trying to stick up for anybody.
	There have been many allegations that he was behind the killing of Annapolis.
	No, no, allegations.
	They are allegations.
	Yeah, sure, there are allegations.
	I've read those allegations over the years, but nobody's proven that he's killed anybody, as far as I'm concerned.
	He hasn't killed reporters.
	So what killing has the United States government done?
	Excuse me, let me finish.
	If he has killed reporters, I think that's terrible.
	But this isn't like somebody that stood with a gun and he's, you know, taken the blame or he's admitted that he's killed.
	He's always denied it.
	He's never, it's never been proven that he's killed anybody.
	So, you know, you're supposed to be innocent until proven guilty, at least in our country.
	He has not been proven that he's killed reporters.
	But you said, I think our country does plenty of killing too.
	What killing are you talking about there ordered by the United States government?
	Yeah, how about just looking at your old boss there, George?
	You know, that would be so cool if Trump could somehow slip in that...
	The Clinton body count.
	The body count.
	Well, he's on the verge because this interview, I don't think I've heard him this way, and I love it, and I do thank the universe for bringing us Donald Trump.
	Because, you know, he's ripping everything to shreds.
	You know, these holy, oh, it's George Stephanopoulos on ABC in the morning.
	You can't be disrespectful to him.
	I have another follow-on where Trump says something so prolific.
	about Iran in regards to Putin again, of course, because the whole idea is Putin is the bad guy.
	We hate Putin, Putin, Putin.
	Yeah, Assad's got to go, but Putin, Putin, Putin, Putin, Putin, Putin, Putin, Putin, Putin.
	Putin!
	And I said, don't go in, but I said, when you go out, take the oil.
	And I've been saying that for four years to you and others, and we were so incompetent, we didn't even get the oil.
	You know who got a lot of the oil?
	ISIS got a lot of the oil.
	That's who got the oil.
	And now Iran is taking the rest of it.
	They're going to get the lion's share.
	Because we don't know what we're doing.
	We're run by people that don't have a clue.
	And Iran has been backed by Vladimir Putin.
	I want to ask you a final question about Iowa.
	The New York Times has a story this morning saying your organization is lagging.
	Iran has been backed by us.
	You know why?
	You know how Iran has been backed by us?
	Because we made one of the dumbest deals in the history of deal-making when we gave them $150 billion.
	We have 24-day inspections, which don't start for a long time, and they can self-inspect, and we don't even get our prisoners back.
	So don't tell me about Iran being run by Putin.
	We let Iran become, it's a terror nation, and we let Iran become really powerful.
	And by the way, they don't need to create nuclear because they now are so rich with $150 billion, they can go out and buy it directly.
	And what Trump is doing here, and the $150 billion, I think, is bullcrap, because that was their money.
	Bullcrap is their money.
	Absolutely.
	But he does very specifically talk about how the United States does things that really foster war.
	So we're the ones that have really empowered Iran, not Russia.
	Russia's certainly doing their damage also.
	But we, through sheer stupidity of a deal, one of the worst deals I've ever seen negotiated, we are the ones that truly have empowered Iran.
	And it's a disgrace.
	We've empowered Iran more than Russia has?
	George, we just made one of the worst deals I have ever seen in deal-making.
	I'm not talking between nations.
	We don't even get our prisoners back.
	And now, after the deal is made, they want to start talking as a new deal to get our prisoners back.
	And they want a lot for the prisoners, for the four prisoners.
	Russia was part of that deal as well, and the Iranian negotiating position was backed up by Russia.
	You know why?
	Because Russia's making a lot of money with the deal.
	Because they're selling missiles and other military armaments to Iran.
	And they're making a fortune on it because they're smart.
	Because they're smart.
	You know what we're getting from that deal?
	Nothing.
	Russia should want them to make the deal.
	Because Russia's selling armaments and they're selling missiles.
	Beautiful new modern missiles.
	He's like, oh, beautiful modern, more beautiful missiles.
	They're selling them to Iran.
	Because our people don't know what they're doing.
	So of course Russia wanted that deal to be made because they're making a fortune.
	But you know what?
	We get with Iran nothing.
	Wait a second.
	It's our fault that Russia is selling missiles to Iran?
	Stephanopoulos' head is now smoke coming out of his ears.
	He's like, what?
	...associated with us at the table.
	Russia wanted Iran to make that deal because they wanted Iran to have a lot of money so that Russia could take some of that money away from Iran because Russia is selling them Tremendous numbers of missiles and armaments, George, if you don't know that.
	So Russia, if I was Russia, I would have wanted that deal done, too, because the money that the United States, run by incompetent people, is giving to Iran, a lot of that money is going to Russia and other countries to buy armaments.
	You don't know that, George, but that's the way it is.
	I do that.
	I'm just not sure it's our fault.
	I'm afraid that's all we have time for this morning.
	Always a lively conversation, Mr.
	Trump.
	Thanks for joining us.
	Thank you very much.
	I love that.
	It's extremely lively.
	Trump is just a susceptible.
	He probably goes along with the $150 billion that we're giving to him.
	All we're doing is releasing funds.
	I'm guessing Trump is all in on Assad gassing his people.
	I don't know.
	I think what we probably should do is review the Seymour Hersh article.
	Do you want to do that?
	Should we thank a few people first, and then we'll move it to the B block?
	Well, let me think for a second.
	Should we thank a few people first, or should we...
	Move it to the B block.
	Let me think one more second.
	What happened?
	In that case, I'm going to make an executive decision and say, thank you for your courage.
	And in the morning to you, John C. What the C stands for.
	Can't see my spreadsheet.
	Dvorak.
	Well, in the morning to you, Adam Curry.
	And in the morning to all ships and sea boots on the ground, feet in the air, subs in the water, and all the dames and knights out there.
	Yes, in the morning to everyone in the chat room, noagendastream.com.
	Good to see you guys here on this Christmas Eve.
	Very nice.
	In the morning to our artists, the hat trick goes to Nick the Rat.
	Three times?
	It caused some problems.
	There's problems in the art generator.
	Uh-oh.
	What happened?
	First, let me tell everybody, this is episode 783, Bernie and the Breach, and Nick the Rat made a beautiful, just very simplistic, but Bernie Sanders holding a lightsaber.
	It's very simplistic.
	Which sets off one of our artists, PewDiePie.
	Uh-oh.
	I believe.
	Uh-oh.
	And he decided that Nick was getting too much attention, so he did some anti-Nick art, which is in the art genre.
	I'm going to go there now and describe myself because it's pretty funny.
	My favorite one, of course, is the meat grinder grinding up a rat.
	This is not sportsman-like.
	Very unsportsman-like.
	He's got Enough is Enough, and then he's got a N.A. Artist on Strike by PewDiePie, and he's got Nick the Rat being ground up in a meat grinder.
	Oh, no.
	And then he follows that up with a rat in a mousetrap with the, I guess, the caption, hip, hip, hooray.
	And then he goes on with quality, and then he has these artist tips.
	And I must read these.
	Artist tip, and it's all aimed at Nick the Rat.
	Especially the one that galled him, and we have to explain it, is the one with George Bush and those big goofball glasses.
	Really?
	That's what really set him off.
	Huh.
	And I think it's because he's got one artwork showing a picture of these guys combined.
	He doesn't get it.
	He doesn't get it.
	The reason that that was so funny is because it was literally hard to look at without laughing.
	Right, right, right.
	But okay, let's listen to the artist's tips.
	Artist tip number one.
	Minimal effort.
	Spend no more than five minutes creating your quote-unquote art.
	Ha, ha, ha.
	Artist tip number two.
	And on this one, he's got a picture of the Mona Lisa with those glasses on.
	Wait for another submission, then steal.
	Oops, crossed out.
	Take inspiration from their ideas.
	Very nice.
	Tip number two.
	Now to number three.
	Tip number three.
	And he's got a little mouse in the corner, a rat, with quantity is greater than quality.
	He's thinking that in his head.
	Artist tip number three.
	Submit redundant variants in order to get noticed and drown competing pieces in an ocean of shit.
	Ha ha!
	Oh, there you have it.
	Oh, great.
	So this could cause a war.
	Yes, the art wars.
	An art war.
	Art wars.
	Which would be just as amusing as anything we've done.
	Anyway, so that's PewDiePie.
	Good work, PewDiePie.
	Apparently, I think there's a PewDiePie floating around.
	I'm explaining this.
	JC knows about it.
	Well, the PewDiePie on YouTube is very successful.
	Yeah, I don't know if it's the same.
	Pretty sure it's not our guy.
	No, probably not.
	But you don't know.
	No, I do not.
	Well, anyway, let's thank a few people.
	And I do have to actually dig up a few emails.
	We've got Brian Lawson's.
	We're starting with...
	Nick the rat's in the chat room.
	He says, I cried about it already, but these two a-holes are promoting this fucker, by the way.
	Oh, Nick.
	Really, Nick?
	Really?
	No!
	We love Nick.
	We just thought it was funny.
	Yeah, I'm sure he did.
	Alright.
	Back to work.
	Brian Lawson, $1,000.
	We actually had a pretty good showing today.
	Brian Lawson sends me lots of clips and stuff.
	He has lots of cool stuff that he sends.
	He's a good guy.
	From New York?
	He sent a note in on email, which I did dig up.
	I don't know, I'm confused.
	Okay, dear John and Adam.
	I got tired of being a douchebag and just sent you a donation to become an instantite.
	I recall that donations are normally low and slow around the holidays, so I thought that this might be a good time for it.
	A little karma for some additional consulting work would be greatly appreciated.
	Thanks, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and keep up the good work.
	Brian L. Very, very, very cool, Brian.
	That is a nice Christmas present.
	Thank you so much, sir.
	You've got karma.
	Okay.
	There's a note.
	Okay.
	Sir Fudge Fountain from Ann Arbor, Michigan sent in $999.73.
	And he sent a note.
	This all came in as a check.
	It was a nice check, by the way.
	Recently I was informed that my grant-funded dude named Ben position, which was supposed to end in February of next year, is being extended at least to the end of 2016.
	I believe I detect the aroma of no-agenda karma at work.
	In gratitude, I enclose V4V, value for value, which by my calculation below should transmogrify me into Sir Fudge Fountain Baron of Ann Arbor if that fiefdom is currently unclaimed.
	Perhaps Adam would spin for me a random Fletcher scream.
	Can you see that juice?
	And a handcuffed kid Wilhelm scream.
	Sirs, that's the scream that we use, our version of Wilhelm.
	Yeah?
	He wants juice?
	He wants juice, Fletcher, and the scream.
	Sirs, he continues.
	Sirs, Trevor and Andrew and all the other A2 no-agenda nobility may arrange to swear fealty in my 301 Hatcher North cubicle.
	On the tail of your recent Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me segment, I had an interesting conversation with a colleague about the rise and fall of NPR. We concluded that it's basically a nostalgia machine, unable and unwilling to reinvent itself in any meaningful way.
	The Sheldon Cooper of radio.
	A Prairie Home Companion in the 1980s was brilliant and funny.
	Now I find it unreasonably politicized and pretty much unlistenable.
	Even Radiolab.
	We know how much you love that one, Adam.
	Radiolab!
	Seems to be contemplating a shark jump.
	Thank you for a show that is always on the move.
	You have given sanity, laughter, and the occasional spit take to the shittisonry during some very dark times indeed.
	I'm going to make the final offer from the Curry DeVore Consulting Group to Jarl Mohn, formerly known as Lee Masters, Well, I know very well that he needs to take our consulting advice on what to do with NPR. He may not like our advice, but he should do that.
	I saw him on that Brian's media show on CNN, the bald guy, who does a media show.
	Reliable Sources is what it's called.
	And I saw Jarl on the face bag.
	Oh, I'll be on Reliable Sources.
	So I tune in.
	It's all about cereal, which they don't even own.
	It's not even an NPR product.
	It's baffling to me why Serial is so...
	No, it's not baffling to me, and I'll tell you why.
	Okay, I'd like to know why, because it seems to me to be just an NPR-style show that is dragged out.
	You might as well take On the Media and put it in segments and then call it a podcast.
	It's not a podcast.
	Okay.
	It's a podcast.
	It doesn't matter what it is.
	It's a podcast.
	It started as a podcast.
	I didn't deny it.
	Okay, fine.
	I think I have some standing.
	No, it's a podcast.
	I think I do.
	Not anymore.
	Oh, really?
	I read the thing.
	Let me finish.
	Let me finish.
	No.
	It's nay.
	Um...
	Because people are so...
	Here's what's happening in the psychology.
	People are so tired of their media.
	Sounding like this!
	We're talking to you!
	I can't believe what's going on!
	Yelling the script and not taking time to just listen to something calmly, which is kind of what you do when you...
	A podcast, you can kick back.
	You're probably not doing much else.
	It's requiring a lot of brain power.
	And they do employ some...
	Theater of the mind a little bit.
	The sound is well produced.
	You can't deny that.
	And that is part of what people like about the No Agenda show, is that we will take something and calmly discuss it with no regard for, oh my gosh, I have to hit the top of the hour for the news, whatever.
	It's not totally bad.
	Although Serial is very scripted, but it's put together to make it feel like it's a relaxed thing to listen to.
	It's a little episodic, which is definitely something that podcasts are.
	So I understand why people...
	But, you know, it's like in the land of the blind, one eye is king.
	You know, they just have not seen us yet with their one eye.
	Let me give our good sir here his requested jingles.
	I think I have them.
	John Fletcher!
	That was...
	I don't think that...
	You picked the wrong one.
	Oh man, I actually have new ones from him.
	Hold on.
	He sent new ones.
	Here we go.
	I'm going...
	Okay.
	This will be a nice little bonanza because Fletcher happened to send me some stuff That is perfect for this episode.
	Here we go.
	I'm shocked, shocked to find glitches in the donor database around here.
	I'm shocked, shocked to find spontaneous attention for failing pageants around here.
	I'm shocked, shocked to find support for the show so low around the holidays.
	That's not Fletcher.
	Can you see that juice?
	I know.
	Let's pick it.
	I know.
	Well, here's finally.
	Ladies and gentlemen, it is time to rub a lice!
	There we go.
	Let's get the karma out of it.
	I'll get a dump out of it.
	You've got karma.
	That's what I mean.
	This is the kind of production that people want to hear.
	Yeah.
	That's why.
	You nailed it.
	All right.
	I did.
	Onward.
	Ker nailed it.
	Simon Tones in San Francisco, 34567.
	I cannot find a newt.
	I don't find one either.
	Nice number, though.
	We love that.
	Thank you.
	I'm going to give him some karma, even though maybe he's got cut off or something.
	You've got karma.
	Alan Howe is 33.33 from the UK, Windsor, as a matter of fact.
	Nice little town.
	They have a nice tea shop there.
	According to my accounting, this donation should allow me the exclusive roundtable as a bassist of over 30 years with a maze and cover band, the Sinner's Lounge.
	I'd like to be knighted as Sir Alan Howe's Knight of the Elongated G-String.
	It's pretty funny.
	Could I... Musician humor.
	Could I request the following, please?
	Boom shakalaka, girl screaming, the same one, which you didn't get the last time.
	I did, I did, but that's okay.
	Sorry.
	And a dose, because I'm looking for the tones note, I can't find it.
	A dose of karma for everybody.
	Love this show.
	Keep them coming.
	The counting below, hopefully, and he's got his email address.
	Of course, and we look forward to that title change coming up in our ceremony for you, sir.
	Bingo!
	Boom shakalaka.
	I'm telling you, that's the best room in the business.
	It is.
	And that's the scream, no calm down.
	Because we have the calm down version, too, which is this.
	Calm down!
	Love that.
	Sir Chris Kitterman of Carmel-by-the-Sea in Walnut Creek.
	$3.33.
	ITM, Merry Christmas, guys.
	Thanks for the reliable media deconstructions, particularly you are working on Christmas Eve.
	We got a lot of compliments and we got a lot of donations from the big spenders for working on Christmas Eve.
	They cited that constantly.
	Yeah, it's a big deal.
	We're working on Christmas Eve.
	It's a big deal.
	And I will say that it's very difficult to find any new media to deconstruct because guys are all, you know, they're done.
	Taken off.
	Yeah.
	Now we got stuff.
	Yeah.
	For a special jingle request, can I get the twit dude named Ben with job karma?
	Please include my wife, Kristen Kitterman, on the birthday list.
	Is she?
	She's celebrating 29 years on 1224.
	Hold on a second.
	It's yesterday.
	Hold on a second.
	Let me see if she's on the list.
	Kristen.
	Hold on.
	Birthdays.
	Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
	In there.
	Got it.
	In there.
	All right.
	What do you need?
	He needs a dude named Ben mixed with job karma.
	Twit dude.
	Yeah, I got that one.
	Please include my wife.
	So, yell her name, I guess.
	I don't know.
	We'll do that in the birthday segment, if you don't mind.
	I didn't actually interact directly with people in the IT arena.
	Somebody whose name was...
	I can't even know his last name.
	His first name is Ben.
	Alright.
	Dude named Ben.
	Dude named Ben.
	Jobs, jobs, jobs, and jobs.
	Let's vote for jobs!
	You've got karma.
	Nice one.
	I'll put that at the end.
	Want to play that in the end?
	In the end thing?
	Nah.
	Sorry?
	Nah, fuck it.
	Never mind.
	Fuck that guy.
	Let's go.
	Graham Stanton in Point Cook, Victoria, Australia.
	$333.33.
	Merry Christmas.
	Love you guys.
	Merry Christmas to you, Graham.
	Sir Ted Hoseman in San Jose, California, 33300.
	And he has a note which says, as I move the cursor over and click on it, Sir Ted Hoseman of Gitmo Nation, San Jose.
	This donation makes another of my annual birthday donations.
	Please put me on the birthday list for December 22nd.
	Hold on.
	Is he even in there?
	No.
	See?
	Okay.
	Sir Ted Hossman, I think it is.
	Hossman.
	Not Hossman.
	Hossman.
	Hossman.
	And how old is he?
	He doesn't say.
	Okay.
	On the 22nd is when his birthday was?
	Yeah.
	His poor wife is subjected to the show when we are in the car, but I don't feel so bad when I catch her singing along with the jingles.
	Oh!
	Okay.
	Give me some karma for my new human resource, Born in November.
	Nice.
	And he wants a jingle that his wife can sing along to?
	Well, you know, there's a number of good ones.
	I have just the one for her.
	Just the one.
	Turn it up.
	Turn it up, Sir Hossman.
	There you go.
	That's one mother I'd like to...
	You've got karma.
	That's right.
	Equal opportunity offenders.
	All right, onward.
	Sir David of Ross in Ross, California, 333, same amount.
	And he goes on with a note.
	So thanks for the wonderful year of the best podcast in the universe.
	Should you both consider going out while you're on the very top?
	I'd say no.
	The thought has crossed my mind.
	I don't think we're at the top.
	Here's hoping for a 2016 filled with many blessings, wonderful stories for deconstruction, and a great card that allows us craven capitalists to begin to encroach on the last remaining field of sunshine in the entire worldwide media landscape.
	Sir David Ross, P.S. Please play the funny stuff with Hillary Clinton eating the little girl...
	And the B and the boom shakalaka.
	Don't eat me, Hillary Clinton!
	You've got karma.
	Yo, yo, yo!
	Nick, and then we're dropping down to the associate executive producer.
	We want to thank all these folks.
	This is great.
	This is Christmas, man.
	Yeah, it's Christmas and we're working on Christmas Eve.
	Uh...
	Associate Executive Producer Nick Ramondi in Fremont, California, 271.
	And he's got a Merry Christmas, you two.
	And thank you.
	The fact that you're...
	Oh, I see what I did wrong.
	Okay.
	What you do is wrong.
	Well, this is why you've heard me stumbling as I read.
	That's because I have not moved the spreadsheet.
	I have not enlarged it to 150.
	I got this little dinky one-point font here I'm trying to read and I'm not paying attention to what I'm doing.
	The fact that you do a show on Christmas Eve convinced me to send some cash.
	Can you please call my brother, is it Chris, out as a douchebag?
	Douchebag!
	We've both been listening for almost two years, and he's yet to have...
	He has yet to hear him, it says.
	I've yet to hear him donate.
	Yeah, he hasn't.
	Okay, let me see if I can move this over.
	And then enlarge...
	Enhance.
	Rotate.
	Zoom.
	Ah, there we go.
	Kind of.
	Go back.
	Okay.
	This isn't good either.
	Hold on.
	Just moving stuff around.
	What are you doing, man?
	I'm going to the top of the cells and I'm grabbing the thing and I'm stretching it.
	Okay.
	Dennis Brown in Rhinelander, Wisconsin.
	$250.
	And he has nothing to say.
	I don't have a note from him on email either.
	Hmm.
	Strange.
	Joel Blazek in Reno, Nevada.
	23456 is also...
	This should be a Joel Blazek email.
	I'll go look for it.
	The last one I need to do.
	B-L-A-Z-E-K is it?
	Let's see.
	Search.
	Joel.
	J-O-E-L. That should find it.
	Yes, it does.
	And here he is.
	Christmas donations from Sir Joel Blazik.
	Hi, gents.
	I've been pounding out the overtime this holiday season, Christmas peak season, so I figure I can throw a little your way for the first Associative Executive Producer credit.
	Hope you and your families have a safe and enjoyable Christmas with or without your...
	He jobs.
	Yeah.
	John, I drive a truck from Reno to Sacramento or the Bay Area about five times a week, and this winter has been definitely one for the books, but it is not too extreme.
	Seems like, one, we have one of these every four or five years, climate change in full effect.
	When I go snowboarding, I make sure to mention that in my most sarcastic tone.
	Apparently, it's really snowing.
	Thanks in the mountains here in California.
	In fact, we get these little rainstorms and they turn into these huge blizzards.
	Thanks for keeping it on point this year.
	Like a boom shakalaka, Reverend Manning, two to the head, and some anal leakage karma.
	Hold on a second.
	Wait a minute.
	Did I just...
	What?
	Oh, I'm sorry.
	I'm already on to the next one.
	Ah, crap.
	I'm just trying to keep up with...
	See, when I don't have a letter...
	Yeah.
	When I don't have it in front of me...
	Be sure to send Adam a letter.
	Well, when I don't have it in front of me, then I have...
	I'm looking for stuff and...
	Okay, anyway, it doesn't matter.
	What does he want?
	Boom shakalaka by Manning.
	Two to the head and some leakage.
	Leakage?
	Oh, he wants some anal leakage karma.
	Oh, he just wants karma for anal leakage.
	He's in a truck all day in a blizzard.
	What is he going to do?
	That's an unpleasant thought.
	Okay, bingo, boom, shakalaka, leakage, and then karma.
	Was that it?
	Two to the head.
	Oh, two to the head.
	Okay.
	Bingo, boom, boom, shakalaka, boom, boom, boom, boom, shakalaka, boom, boom, boom.
	You've got karma.
	Cool.
	The shell casings were the same tone as the bell.
	Mikhail Garber in Issaquah, Washington.
	23432.
	Is this the guy that sent the note?
	I'm sorry?
	Is this the guy that sent the...
	Blazik.
	Blazik sent the note.
	No, no.
	The Ebola note.
	Oh, I don't think so.
	We had a great note.
	Do you have that note when you want to read it?
	It's a fantastic note.
	Somewhere.
	I think I forwarded it to you.
	Yeah, I don't know.
	Well, dig it up if you can.
	Okay, I'll just summarize the note.
	This is Jason.
	I have the note.
	Okay, read.
	Dear Mighty Guardians of Riyadh, this is from, this is from, not from the guy where...
	Sir Jason, or Jason, what he calls himself, he's a knight.
	Yeah, Sir Jason.
	There may have been a number of times I've wanted to donate, especially after the Trump free speech newsletter, all the shows after it, and of course you're working through the holidays.
	As a firefighter paramedic, I don't get the choice to be off work as you guys do.
	I truly appreciate your hard work and dedication.
	However, last night was the topper!
	As I assisted an elderly lady with diarrhea that wouldn't stop, literally running down her legs from incontinence, I began singing the Calypso Ebola song from the show, which really brightened my mood after being awoken to deal with the poop because this nice lady's family was worthless as tits on a bowl.
	I wish you all the best, gentlemen.
	Merry Christmas, Sir Jason.
	Sir Jason.
	So this is by coincidence that we have...
	McHale.
	McHale.
	Asking for, he says, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to the BPITU. If I may, can I hear the original, We Need to Kill Them, followed by Ebola.
	We need to kill them.
	We need to kill them.
	Ebola.
	Here comes from Africa.
	Give diarrhea.
	Everybody now.
	You've got karma.
	Ah, yes.
	Very nice.
	Now we have...
	Trevor Merkin in a bubbry...
	Yeah, he's in France.
	Now, Trev has been passing on really good...
	Remember we had a lot of financial information?
	Things were coming to us from the inside, and the guy who used to give it gave it to Trevor, and that guy died.
	But Trevor's still checking in with us, and I like that.
	So Trevor's for 23333, and he says, Dear Messieurs, Smith and Mund...
	How disappointed I felt on hearing about the cancellation of your act.
	Oh, the Smith-Mundt Act.
	Yeah.
	Which disallows, or the act disallowed, prohibited propaganda against the American people, and that was overturned.
	Please accept this small contribution to help tide you over with a more discerning public until a more discerning public comes along.
	My regards to you both, Trevor Mundt.
	Now it seems Trevor Merkin.
	Now he's Trevor Mundt to me.
	Was there more to his note, I'm thinking?
	I don't have any more.
	Because it says something birthed, and I'm afraid that there was a birthday or something that we're now missing.
	Well...
	Yes.
	Any chance of getting my son Oscar on the birthday list for 21st of September?
	See, I knew it.
	I knew it.
	Where was it?
	Well, I send this stuff to Eric and he doesn't put it on.
	It's been horrible for the past three weeks.
	Sorry, Merry Christmas.
	It's annoying me.
	It's really annoying me.
	So he's not on the list?
	No, of course he's not on the list.
	Okay.
	So you should send Eric a note?
	I do!
	I do!
	And I say he wants to be on the...
	Eric is just fucking up.
	Hold on.
	See, I gotta do all this stuff.
	What's his son, Oscar, 16 on the 21st?
	Son, Oscar, 16 on the 21st.
	Okay.
	Armando Guerra.
	Oh, Talal Shukar.
	Talal Shukar, I think.
	He's a Londoner.
	2222.
	I have no notes from him that I can pull up.
	Talal, no, I don't have anything from him either.
	No.
	Okay.
	Oh, I see what it is.
	Let me try to take this.
	No.
	Armando Guerra in Austin, Texas.
	That's our mailman.
	Yeah, you mean a mail carrier.
	He's a man, isn't he?
	Yeah.
	And he sent a note, which I also forwarded to Eric, but luckily I'll just grab it here.
	Hey Adam, my PayPal donation went through before I could write a note.
	I just wanted to say Merry Christmas to you and John.
	I would also like to say, screw Disney with their stupid post office sloths.
	Oh yeah, I agree with him.
	Yeah, totally.
	Boycott those people.
	Yeah, what kind of insulting bullcrap is this?
	Especially at the end of the year, when the mail carriers are working overtime to get you all of Santa's gifts on time.
	Merry Christmas to the best podcast in the universe, says Brian Doerr in Frisco, Texas.
	Another Texan.
	$200.
	Thank you for all you do.
	For us slaves, every douchebag rejoice and get off your asses and donate in the new year.
	I think that summarizes everything he wanted to say.
	And the pre-Night of the Living Dead in Peak District, I guess, UK? Yep.
	What's the Peak District, you know?
	I have no idea.
	Okay, I can't get this.
	Dear John and Adam, Merry Christmas!
	I'm a $5 a month subscriber, slowly working to remove the pre from my NA producer alias, which is pre-Night of the Living Dead, and happy to be finally able to give value for value at the associate executive producer level.
	I'll keep my notes short as I have a few fellow producers I'd like to request karma for, if you'd be so kind.
	I'd also like to raise the possibility of a UK NA meetup We're good to go.
	Torben in Norway and Graham and Darren of the Grimerica Show.
	Thank you, John and Adam, for your courage and for a truly outstanding product.
	The best podcast in the universe.
	Best wishes for 2016.
	And he winds up by saying, Go podcasting!
	You've got karma.
	That concludes our well-wishers for and associate executive and executive producers for a show of 784.
	I forgot the little girl yay for him at the end there.
	Yay!
	There we go.
	People want to know, they're unfamiliar with the LGY. L-G-Y. L-G-Y on Twitter.
	It's a little girl yay.
	You just heard it.
	Yes.
	That's true.
	And thank you for your courage.
	It's T-Y-F-Y-C. Very good.
	Yes.
	T-Y-F-Y-C. T-Y-U. Anyway.
	So we remind people we do have a show coming up on Sunday, which will be the Christmas weekend, which is always a dud.
	And we'll be working.
	We'll be working it.
	So go to Dvorak.org.na if you missed out on today's celebration.
	Yes, and these credits are real.
	They are just like any other executive producer credit you might see on screen or at the end of Democracy Now!
	or anywhere.
	Associate executive producer, exactly the same.
	If there's ever any doubt, we'll be very happy to vouch for you.
	And yes, as John mentioned, we'll be working on New Year's Eve, so please consider us for that program.
	Dvorak.org slash N-A. And especially during the holidays, there's no better time than to look at your family and propagate the formula.
	Our formula is this.
	We go out, we hit people in the mouth.
	Chef!
	You!
	Water!
	Water!
	Chef!
	The harmonica cut in, and I was like, and I hit the wrong button.
	It's so shrieking in my ears.
	Shrieking.
	It's just a mystery how these things happen.
	Some complete mystery.
	I would like to play something funny here, which I thought was funny.
	Okay.
	Yeah, hold on a second.
	Hold on a second.
	This is Carly Fiorina.
	Of course, she is also being run around as, you know, she's trying to be president, I guess.
	Is that what she's doing?
	Yeah, trying to be president.
	And smile.
	And now, of course, she is the technology candidate, right?
	Right.
	The technology candidate.
	Somebody sent us a note saying you're saying you know.
	I heard him.
	I read that.
	I don't think I am.
	I'd never heard it, but I'm going to start listening.
	It's possible.
	And I answered him by, you know why I'm doing it.
	He says, why are you know, you know, doing, you know, saying you know all the time?
	I said, you know exactly why I'm doing it.
	Carly Fiorina, the technology candidate.
	And she knows her business, everybody.
	They don't want to do it.
	Actually, we're talking about other things, Chris, and this is why it's helpful that I understand technology.
	Hillary Clinton tried to issue the same line last night, by the way, and then quickly had to say, I don't really understand much about technology, because she doesn't.
	Let me give you an example of what I'm talking about.
	Please do.
	When we miss, with all the metadata collection that we have had, the San Bernardino couple and the Tsarnaev brothers, what that suggests to me is that we are using the wrong algorithms to search through all this data.
	Hold on a second.
	Clearly, clearly she means we should be using the algorithm that is used, which is very intelligent, by the way, to show me the product on every webpage I go to after I already bought the product.
	Is that the kind of algorithm you're talking about, Ms.
	Fiorina?
	Is that it?
	Because you're an idiot.
	Algorithms have come a long way.
	Oh, please.
	This algorithm used to be a little baby pup, but now look how big it is.
	There's a pause on that thing.
	It takes 2,000 servers at Google distributed just to figure out what ad to show me based upon my search.
	And it's still crap.
	There's no algorithms.
	They've not come a long way.
	I'm still waiting for my refrigerator with this algorithm.
	Algorithm.
	To order me milk!
	Since 2011, or 2006, or 2007.
	In fact, the private sector is improving their algorithm.
	Random years of these.
	That was interesting.
	Did she just do them out of order?
	2014, 2010, 2006, 2007, 2002.
	This must be one of those algorithms she's talking about.
	It's great!
	Let's listen to this again.
	It's 2011.
	Let's try again.
	2011 or 2006 or 2007.
	In fact, the private sector is improving their algorithmic ability to search through big data month after month after month.
	And of course, a big government bureaucracy isn't keeping up.
	It's not that people are bad in government bureaucracies.
	It's that government bureaucracies crush innovation.
	I wish we had that clip, which I don't think you can find, but I'll challenge you because you might be able to.
	The clip of the old CTO, whose name eludes me, who talked about skip logic and speaking in COBOL and all this other nonsense.
	Well, you are referring to Vivek Kundra.
	He talks about having a hollow deck and using modern skip logic.
	Healthcare.gov, unfortunately, is a huge problem because what's happened here is it's actually preventing millions of people from getting access to affordable healthcare.
	Let's see if I can.
	Live up to the challenge.
	The core issue there is the same set of problems we've seen in the past.
	Here we go.
	Which is that it's the procurement process.
	It's embracing 1960s-era technology.
	You're in Silicon Valley.
	They could have easily, in the beginning, kind of tried to come to Silicon Valley, you would assume.
	What's the downside when you have something like the initiative that just seems so fragmented?
	Well, at the White House level, you know, the president was very clear.
	I don't know.
	Oh, this is it, John.
	Is it the one, the clip that we need?
	I know what it is.
	It was a testimony.
	This is an interview.
	It still sounds like an idiot.
	It's 1960s.
	Yeah, I don't know what happened to it.
	That's sad.
	It was a long time ago.
	Was I still in the UK when we had that guy on?
	No, I can't remember.
	Anyway, but this is crazy.
	Fiorina is really off her rocker.
	But then she brought up something that was interesting for two reasons.
	One, for the company she mentioned, something that's just happened to the company she mentioned.
	Why did she mention it?
	What's her tie to the company?
	But then this...
	Cook has been asked a very specific question in public, by the way, and Tim Cook has refused in public.
	I don't blame him for that.
	I will guarantee you that there are all kinds of things that the private sector can be doing to be helpful, and they have not been engaged.
	Let me give you an analogy, Chris.
	In World War II, and we're at warm now...
	Ah, now, do you see that she stopped her analogy there?
	She stopped herself?
	She was going to do a World War II technology...
	What did she say?
	Did she say metaphor?
	No.
	An analogy.
	Hold on a second.
	What did she call it?
	An analogy.
	An analogy.
	Which means something just like this.
	Correct?
	Yeah.
	I think that she stopped herself because she was going to say in World War II, IBM was instrumental in searching through big data and selecting all of the Jews so the Germans could go kill them.
	This is true.
	No, it is true.
	And I think she stopped herself and was like, oh my God, what am I going to say?
	I can't say this.
	It was IBM Watson.
	They built a punch card machine so they could search through all the big data and get all the Jews.
	Yeah, Carly, good one.
	Helpful, and they have not been engaged.
	Let me give you an analogy, Chris.
	In World War II... And we're at WARM now.
	It's not a world war.
	Trust me.
	There are, for example, there's a whole company called Palantir that does nothing but derive and create algorithms to search through big data.
	We're not using their capabilities.
	Yeah, I think that's important.
	That is a good catch.
	She was going to give an analogy, and it was going to be about World War II, and the only one, because she's talking about big data, and that card sorter was specifically used for big data, which means a population of Jews.
	Yeah, that's your right.
	She was going to go there, and then all of a sudden, she's like, oh, crap, that won't fly.
	That won't fly.
	It's not going to work.
	So she mentions Palantir, which of course came up in the Edward Snowden documentation, but was completely just, you know, it was all swept under the rug.
	We haven't really heard about Palantir recently.
	So she brings this up at the very moment this news comes out.
	One of the most secretive big data startups scores some big funding.
	Palantir Technologies has raised a staggering $880 million.
	That's according to an SEC filing.
	Palantir is now valued at $20 billion, making it the fourth highest value tech startup behind only Uber, Xiaomi, and Airbnb.
	The 12-year-old tech startup analyzes large amounts of data to decipher trends and help lead to better decision-making from defense to fraud.
	Although never confirmed, it's been rumored Palantir may have helped provide data that led to the killing of Osama bin Laden.
	The bottom line, Palantir is climbing its way up the tech ladder.
	That's from USA Today.
	I think she's in on the IPO.
	And of course, for her to say we don't use that private sector, these guys were funded by In-Q-Tel, by the CIA's very own venture capital arm.
	And now they've raised $880 million or they're going to raise that in a public offering.
	That's too much.
	Of course.
	They won't have enough leverage to make anybody any money in an IPO. So just for these two 45-second clips alone, Carly Fiorina is so disqualified because she wants to use big data to kill Jews.
	That's her analogy.
	To kill Jews.
	Okay, allegedly then.
	All right.
	And she said, oh, government should use it.
	Palantir's been working for the government from day one.
	They're funded by the government.
	So she's a moron.
	But I think we can tack on to this.
	Did you by any chance see the Tom Collins 60 Minutes interview?
	Is that the recent interview?
	Yeah.
	Or is it the old one?
	No, it's been on there a couple of times, I think.
	Three days ago.
	You sure that was just a rerun?
	I'm very sure.
	The interview was recorded before Paris, but it only aired now as far as I know.
	It's called Inside Apple Part 1 and 2.
	It aired last Sunday.
	Well, whatever it was, I didn't see it.
	Would you like to hear a few choice clips?
	Well, I hope you have a few choice clips.
	I do.
	I do.
	And I like Tim Cook.
	Tom Collins.
	Tim Collins.
	I like what he's saying.
	I like this guy.
	Charlie went in.
	Charlie did the interview.
	And he went in to talk to the...
	To Johnny Ive.
	Yeah, he's friends with Johnny Ive.
	He even said so in the overtime segment.
	Yeah, well, I've been friends with Johnny for a long time.
	I went into Johnny's design studio.
	Anyway, here's Tim Cook on encryption, which is, of course, this is the guy, and Carly referred to him, so he gets a clip.
	But perhaps the most pressing issue facing Apple today is encryption.
	It is believed that the terrorists in last month's attacks in Paris used encrypted apps to avoid surveillance.
	U.S. law enforcement immediately renewed its calls for Apple and other companies to provide access to its customers' encrypted text and emails.
	Apple CEO Tim Cook has refused to do so, and though we interviewed him prior to the attacks, Cook has since told us that Apple is cooperating with authorities to combat terrorism, but he has not changed his position on encryption.
	Sorry, it was before San Bernardino, so it's not all that...
	It's pretty recent, this interview.
	They say it's like...
	Yeah, no, I'm looking at it now.
	I didn't hear it.
	It's not a rerun.
	But that's why there's two of us, John.
	But you can't unlock the trunk.
	Here's the situation.
	On your smartphone today, on your iPhone, there's likely health information.
	Was this about junk in the trunk?
	Charlie said, it's like you can't open up the trunk.
	Apple is cooperating with authorities to combat terrorism, but he has not changed his position on encryption.
	They say it's like, you know, you have a search warrant, but you can't unlock the trunk.
	Here's the situation.
	Charlie talks in these metaphors all the time.
	I don't have this clip, but...
	He is bored.
	Oh, at a certain point he's going...
	He's working all day.
	He does his own interview show.
	He does the morning show.
	He's tech horny.
	He's got an Apple watch.
	He loves this.
	He loves this.
	He's probably doing blow with Johnny Ive.
	Trust me.
	But at a certain point, he says, the core of Apple!
	He thinks, like, oh, I made up, what a great statement.
	And he's bending over when he says, the core of Apple!
	The core of Apple!
	Really, Charlie?
	Really, Charlie?
	On your smartphone today, on your iPhone, there's likely health information, there's financial information.
	There are intimate conversations with your family or your co-workers.
	There's probably business secrets.
	And you should have the ability to protect it.
	And the only way we know how to do that is to encrypt it.
	Why is that?
	It's because if there's a way to get in, Then somebody will find a way in.
	There have been people that suggest that we should have a back door, but the reality is if you put a back door in, that back door is for everybody, for good guys and bad guys.
	But does the government have a point in which they say, if we have good reason to believe in that information is evidence of criminal conduct or national security behavior?
	Well, if the government lays a proper warrant on us today, then we will give the specific information that is requested, because we have to by law.
	In the case of encrypted communication, we don't have it to give.
	And so, like your iMessages are encrypted, we don't have access to those.
	Okay, but help me understand how you get to the government's dilemma.
	I don't believe that the trade-off here is privacy versus national security.
	I think that's an overly simplistic view.
	We're America.
	We should have both.
	Yes!
	Yes, Tom Collins!
	We're America!
	He had a couple more stuff.
	I liked what he said.
	I'm kind of a Cook fan.
	What I'll tell you and the folks watching tonight is...
	Oh, this is about taxes, not paying taxes, having all their money overseas.
	We pay more taxes in this country than anyone.
	Well, they know that, and you should, because of how much money you make.
	Well, I don't deny that.
	We happily pay it.
	But you also have more money overseas, probably, than any other...
	We do, because as I said before, two-thirds of our business is over there.
	But why don't you bring that home is the question.
	I'd love to bring it home.
	Why don't you?
	Because it would cost me 40% to bring it home.
	And I don't think that's a reasonable thing to do.
	This is a tax code, Charlie, that was made for the industrial age, not the digital age.
	It's backwards.
	It's awful for America.
	It should have been fixed many years ago.
	It's past time to get it done.
	But here's what they concluded.
	Apple is engaged in a sophisticated scheme to pay little or no corporate taxes on $74 billion in revenues held overseas.
	That is total political crap.
	There's no truth behind it.
	Apple pays every tax dollar we owe.
	I like that.
	Well, they're both right.
	Yes, of course.
	It's a scheme, a trick that he employs because it's legal.
	Because it's there, yeah.
	And so he pays every tax.
	What he says is true.
	They pay all the taxes that they owe because they don't owe taxes on that other money.
	But he also said that the tax code is outdated and needs to be fixed.
	Yeah.
	It's just funny.
	I never heard that before.
	Well, here he is on this last one I have.
	On the difference between America and China's.
	And profound once again.
	At some point in the near future, a bigger market than the United States?
	Yes.
	I am as certain as I can be of that.
	The numbers simply tell you that.
	He's talking about China, obviously, as a market.
	The numbers tell me that, and not just the numbers of people, but the numbers of people moving into the middle class.
	That, for a consumer company, is the thing that really begins to grow the market in a big way.
	And most Americans would be surprised to know that nearly all Apple products are manufactured by one million Chinese workers in the factories of Apple contractors, including its largest, Foxconn.
	Yet Tim Cook insists that China's vast and cheap labor force is not the primary reason for manufacturing there.
	So if it's not wages, what is it?
	It's skill.
	It's skill.
	They have more skills than American workers?
	They have more skills than German workers?
	Let me be clear.
	China put an enormous focus on manufacturing in what we would call, you and I would call, vocational kind of skills.
	The U.S. over time began to stop having as many vocational kind of skills.
	I mean, you could take every tool and die maker in the United States and probably put them in the room they were currently sitting in.
	In China, you would have to have multiple football fields.
	Because they've taught those skills in their schools.
	It was a focus of them.
	It's a focus of their educational system.
	And so that is the reality.
	I like it.
	We've talked about vocational skills dwindling in the United States before.
	Yeah, because everyone emphasizes going to college where they can talk these stupid students into taking out these ridiculous loans and going into debt for the rest of their lives and still not have a vocational skill.
	Yeah.
	And there's no offense to the stupid students that listen to the show.
	But you know who you are and you regret it.
	You know who they are.
	You know who they are?
	They're the ones that were given the chance to do all the Reuters reports.
	They're also the ones in the chat room right now.
	Not all of them.
	So Reuters, like all big media companies, they're not going to work in the last week and Christmas.
	Screw that.
	Hey, you inter.
	I mean, millennial.
	I mean...
	Yeah, you young person.
	Noodle boy.
	Yeah, noodle boy and noodle girl.
	So I have the Christmas millennial crew at Reuters reporting on a new poll about climate change and Republicans, which I think really sums up the sad indoctrination and communication skills of America's youths.
	As freakishly warm weather sweeps the eastern U.S., a new poll shows Republicans who have largely denied climate change may be thinking again.
	Megan Casella has the story.
	Megan, here's Megan.
	She's hot, by the way.
	Megan's hot, but, you know, she's 22.
	A new voters' Ipsos poll shows that a majority of Republicans are willing to take individual steps in order to curb climate change, and many of them are also willing to support a presidential candidate who is looking to work internationally and work with other countries in order to take those same steps.
	The poll found 58% of Republicans who knew of the recent global climate deal reached in Paris approved of efforts to limit global warming.
	By the way, what a great poll that is.
	So the headline reads, Republicans now thinking differently about climate change, but it's only Republicans who were aware of the Paris deal and what went down there.
	So, please.
	It's a snowball.
	For years, Republican politicians like Oklahoma Senator James Inhofe have made climate change denial a key contrast with President Obama and the Democrats.
	Mr.
	President, catch this.
	2016 GOP hopefuls like Donald Trump singing a similar tune.
	Like, who can we mention?
	Oh yeah, Donald Trump.
	President Obama said that global warming is our biggest problem.
	Can you believe us?
	We're seeing a primary where many of these candidates aren't talking about the issues at all.
	Many of the Republican candidates are going so far as to disavow the science behind climate change and say that they don't even believe that it is primarily man-made.
	And so we're seeing a difference there between what the Republican electorate is thinking and hoping to see what the candidates themselves are saying.
	And that could turn up the heat if a Republican takes the White House next year and has to decide whether to implement the climate agreement or scrap it.
	All right.
	Reuters, you should not be doing that.
	That was one of the worst reports you've ever done.
	And should you...
	Here's a little tip.
	Little tip.
	Little tip.
	Should you be...
	At a family gathering and people bring up climate change and of course it's warm this Christmas.
	You may want to point out that Christmas Eve 1955 was considerably warmer.
	86 degrees in Orlando.
	We had 85 degrees in Fort Lauderdale.
	That's Florida.
	What did I say?
	That's what you said.
	I said...
	This is a Florida temperature.
	What was it in Washington, D.C.? It was very hot.
	Hold on, Gary, Oklahoma, and Texas all over, and Seenal, Texas all over, 90 degrees.
	I'm just reading the list.
	Let me get to it.
	Get out of Florida.
	It was much warmer.
	Get out of Florida.
	Get out of Florida.
	Okay.
	That's what's going to be used.
	Texas is warm.
	California is warm.
	No.
	It's not?
	No, it's raining and it's freezing.
	It's not freezing, but it's cold.
	Well, there should be lots of reports about that.
	No, they got no reports.
	When they did this whole thing, I watched the news.
	Oh, the East Coast is real high.
	Oh, New York City, 76, 81, something like that.
	And they go on and on.
	And they never mentioned this.
	Global warming.
	And they never mentioned this.
	Snowing like a son of a bitch.
	Perfect.
	In Oregon.
	Like a son of a bitch in Oregon.
	Washington State.
	And the mountains here, which I mentioned earlier, and it's raining and cold and windy.
	They never mentioned that.
	No.
	We may get a dusting of snow in the next few days here in California.
	That's great.
	So, you know, don't talk about that.
	It's already chilling down a little bit in the East Coast.
	That was a fluke.
	Yes.
	ISIS put out a Christmas message.
	And this is not a Rita Katz ISIS. This is a real group.
	There's about 20 guys in this video.
	And you know it's not a Rita Katz because they...
	Rita Katz's stuff is professional.
	I mean, the audio levels are good.
	I even did a little bit of filtering on this one.
	It was so crappy.
	But at the end, ISIS kind of goes the Mexican route.
	This message I deliver to you, the people of America.
	I deliver this message to you, the people of Britain.
	And I deliver this message to you, especially the people of Australia.
	And I say this about your coalition.
	You surround us with this coalition of countries.
	Bring every nation that you wish to us.
	Bring every nation that you want to come and fight us.
	It means nothing to us.
	Whether it's 50 nations or 50,000 nations, it means nothing to us.
	Bring your planes.
	Bring everything you want to us.
	Because it will not harm us.
	Why?
	Because we have Allah.
	And this is something that you do not have.
	Is it not apparent to you?
	How are these victories possible?
	These victories come only from Allah.
	And that is how these small numbers of soldiers that we have.
	We take these massive victories.
	And to the leaders, to Obama, the Tony Abbott, I say this, these weapons that we have, these soldiers, we will not stop fighting, we will not put down our weapons until we reach your lands, until we take The head of every tyrant.
	And until the black flag is flying high in every single land.
	Until we put the black flag on top of Buckingham Palace.
	Until we put the black flag on top of the White House.
	We will not stop.
	And we will keep on fighting.
	And we will fight you.
	and we will defeat you don't say I didn't warn you It sounds like you're screaming.
	And I will tell you that Donald Trump, Donald Trump, make us want to put the black flag in the white house.
	Oh, okay.
	I got a report for you.
	After the last show, we had dinner.
	And one, two, three, four.
	Ah, you had millennials.
	Five millennials.
	Every one of them have never, ever heard of Jack Move.
	So I challenge anyone listening to the show, if you can tell me that this is a millennial saying, and they said, well, we use the word douchey, and we do this, and we do that.
	I've never heard Jack move.
	I've never heard, and we're talking about top-end millennials, the ones that are close to 30, and low-end millennials in the 20s.
	So we have a range of millennials.
	None of them have heard Jack move.
	Oh, okay.
	Where'd you get it?
	From millennials.
	What millennials?
	I have millennials in my life.
	A jack move.
	That's a jack move.
	Okay.
	You know, really.
	Back off, man.
	I'm a scientist.
	You can't argue with that.
	Okay, I got another one.
	This is not a complaint.
	This is an Ask Adam.
	Uh-oh.
	So since you're watching that crappy show, The View...
	Well, it's not like I do it for my health.
	I ended up...
	I was thinking I could maybe get something from the crappy show The Real, or otherwise known as Five Skanks.
	Oh, John!
	What?
	Okay.
	I don't think they would deny it.
	So I've got a clip from this show.
	Wait, so this is an Ask Adam.
	Hold on.
	What the hell is this?
	All right.
	You got a clip from the show.
	And I want you, there's something they're doing on the show, and I want you to try to guess what it is, and why they're so upset about this, and why they're going ballistic.
	While somebody's doing this one thing.
	Okay, so, this in your never-ending quest to belittle me, you are going...
	I'm not belittling.
	What?
	I'm just kidding.
	This is an Ask Adam, so I guess I should know the answer?
	You don't have a million years unless you saw the show.
	You would never guess what's going on.
	I have not seen the show, and I'm going to be listening, and the question is...
	What's going on?
	What's going on?
	Oh, I remember that!
	Oh, my gosh!
	Oh, my God, I used to love that!
	Oh, God!
	Thank you, my God!
	Thank you!
	Yes!
	Oh, my God!
	Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
	Oh, my God!
	Oh, my God!
	Yes!
	Well, no matter what, I'm putting that in the end of show, Mick.
	Oh, man.
	Yeah, that's the show I watch.
	So I think they're probably doing something really stupid, like they're blowing bubbles or balloon animals or something like that.
	Am I right?
	Well, your premise is correct.
	It's really stupid, and I don't understand why they went so nuts about it.
	But they have this stupid, I say using the word too much, but they have this dumb competition where they spin a wheel and they have to do something kind of dopey.
	And this wheel came around, and one of the hostesses on the show had to kiss a mirror, a mirror, like a handheld mirror, passionately.
	That was the challenge.
	So she gets a mirror with a handle on it, she holds the mirror, and she starts kissing the mirror, and she kisses it and kisses it.
	A mirror.
	A mirror.
	You keep saying a mirror.
	A mirror.
	Yes, a mirror came out, and he said, hey, babes!
	No, a mirror.
	Yes, I'm sorry.
	It's hard to pronounce.
	Yes, a mirror.
	A mirror.
	So she's got this handheld mirror, and she's kissing it, and they're going nuts with, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God.
	And I'm watching this and go, what?
	This is crazy.
	Who cares?
	It's not that interesting.
	Hmm.
	So there you go.
	That's it.
	That's the show.
	Well, no, I would not have guessed that.
	This is the competition with The View.
	Jeez.
	Well, I'll take The View any day.
	Screw that.
	I was reading...
	The President...
	Wait, wait, stop.
	I got another one.
	Since we're on the subject of these stupid shows, there's another one called The Talk.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	So on this one, they have...
	They brought out at the end...
	This is the one that has Fuzzy...
	What's his name?
	The punk rocker's wife.
	Ozzy Osbourne.
	Sharon.
	Sharon's on.
	Yeah.
	And...
	She's like the host.
	It's the same thing.
	It's very much like The View.
	Yeah, but nothing is like The View, John.
	Nothing.
	Nothing is like The View.
	They bring these guests on, and so they brought on Alanis Morissette to sing them out.
	Alanis Morissette, who...
	It's very strange.
	She got all this media attention, and it was all for, I think, the 25th or 20th anniversary of her Little Jagged Pill album.
	She's not releasing anything new.
	She has a podcast, and everyone's all over her.
	Oh, so great!
	She's done every talk show with funny versions of it.
	They have her on singing a medley of her songs from Jagged Pill.
	And the whole audience is enthralled.
	And it's all women, middle-aged women mostly.
	Is this an ISO of her mic?
	I hope so.
	No, the ISO is the...
	Do I have an ISO of her?
	What does it say?
	You have an ISO, but that's something else.
	Yeah, I have an ISO, but that says Barbie.
	Yeah.
	Should we listen to Alanis Morissette?
	No, I'd still have to set it up more.
	I'm not sure.
	There's only a little clip of her singing.
	I'm not sure, but I think she went off the rails as she was wrapping up one song and then went off key and as she went off key they gave her a round of applause.
	Tell me I'm wrong.
	You've got to measure up Make me cry Am I wrong?
	That was pretty pathetic.
	It was horrible.
	It might have sounded good in the room, though.
	The room could sound good.
	I don't think so.
	Let's see how it could.
	Very, very, very strange lady.
	I do not understand what she's doing.
	She used to be friends with Madonna, and that all kind of ended, and poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo.
	Before we go to our bigger break, John, our conversation about Google self-driving car brought up a lot of comments.
	Yeah, I mean, I understand why everyone's on my side.
	No, not everyone is on your side.
	For sure not.
	There's only people that are doing At The Real Dvorak.
	Yeah, well, please.
	There's tons of people saying, I'm Team Adam.
	Okay, let us catch up with a little report, I think it's from Bloomberg, about the self-driving car industry.
	2015 was a really big year for autonomous cars and driver-assisted technology.
	No, I'm sorry.
	It's USA Today, of course, because they're all in.
	Now, Google continues to press ahead with its testing of autonomous cars in Mountain View in Austin, Texas.
	Tesla made news in 2015 for unveiling a system it calls Autopilot, which actually allows its car to steer itself on the highway.
	Meanwhile, companies like Ford, BMW, and Audi are adding new driver assist technology to their cars, taking over everything from braking to parking from drivers.
	And looking ahead into 2016, will there continue to be rumors that Apple might be building an autonomous or some kind of electric car?
	And in January, Faraday Future, a somewhat mysterious company plans to unveil at the Consumer Electronics Show some sort of prototype.
	It all spells big changes for both venerable automakers and technology companies that all want to get into what essentially is the changing nature of transportation.
	The changing nature.
	Well, that's what everybody wants, obviously.
	And I'm not going to open the debate because our points are clear.
	However...
	There is something new that came in that I had not heard of previously.
	A number of people emailed me about this.
	Rokos Basilisk.
	Have you ever heard of this?
	Already sounds like a joke.
	Well, it's not a joke.
	It has a wiki page.
	Rokos bacillus.
	And the clip explains it.
	Before you start searching, John, just listen to the clip.
	I'm not going to search.
	I'm going to suggest that this is some sort of bacteria.
	It's analogous to a bacteria, yes.
	Here's a millennial explaining it to us.
	From YouTube.
	So there's this thing called Rocco's Basilisk, which starts out with a presupposition that, like, super artificial intelligence is on the horizon.
	Like, we are going to create it no matter what.
	That ultimate cyberpunk come-to-Jesus meeting is on the calendar, and it's just a question of when, not if.
	And so, therefore, wouldn't it make sense that this Super Samantha or whatever that's coming for us would retroactively punish anybody who didn't help bring about its existence?
	That's what Rocco's Basilisk is.
	Like, you should work to create a hyper-artificial intelligence capable of destroying humanity because if you help, you will be spared.
	So far, so bummer, right?
	That people who are working to create artificial intelligence are already being rewarded by the hundreds of millions of dollars that people like Bill Gates get.
	And so maybe the rewards and incentive systems of capitalism were created by this artificially intelligent thing that will someday destroy us.
	It planted the seeds of its own creations.
	And maybe this whole process began and will end on Earth, but maybe it came from somewhere else.
	That's what makes this really interesting.
	We're talking about the possibility that capitalism is an alien mental illness that we picked up from outer space.
	You're gonna get it.
	Which actually makes it a little more merciful than most religions, because, you know, even if you don't know about Jesus, you're still going to hell or purgatory, depending on who you talk to.
	Neither one's a Holiday Inn Express.
	But here's the thing.
	What defines helping the cause of the hyper-intelligent being, right?
	Just by knowing about it and talking about it, or hearing about it on a podcast like I did, then spreading it to you like we're at a cocktail party.
	Haven't you already done your part?
	This is why thought experiments are bullshit.
	I like this ending.
	What drugs are these kids using?
	Adderall.
	Vyvanse.
	The good stuff.
	That's cool, yeah.
	Captagon.
	Adderall Screed.
	Yeah.
	But I liked it.
	But the basic concept is, if you're in a simulation, the artificial intelligence already took over, and now they're just going to punish everyone who does not participate.
	And when I look at the fact, you know, two divorces, crappy condo in Austin, Texas, versus nice house, wife, nice kids.
	I see that.
	This is a stretch.
	Okay.
	Yes, because I support the takeover by the robots.
	Well, yeah.
	No, I don't.
	No, you do.
	You support the takeover by the Google car.
	That's a robot.
	Well, I do support that because it's bound to happen.
	No.
	It's not good for the society, but it's...
	No, it's not going to happen.
	Okay, you can stay in your condo, man.
	Or my Airstream.
	Whichever one I can afford.
	She airs the trailer.
	Okay, now you're pushing me.
	It is not a trailer.
	Play ISO Barbie.
	I'm a little tired of your trailer phobia.
	It's just getting on my nerves.
	What color riding helmet are you going to wear?
	Pink.
	What is this?
	Is this the programmable Barbie?
	Yeah.
	What...
	There's a little story.
	Actually, I have a short clip of it somewhere in here.
	That's just the ISO that I thought was funny.
	Well, you might as well do the whole thing then.
	Where is it?
	Smart toys.
	I guess it's smart toys.
	Well, some of the hottest toys this holiday season could put your family's privacy at risk.
	Consumer Watch reporter Julie Watts on why some security experts are advising parents to steer clear of so-called smart toys.
	Pink.
	Six-year-old Charlotte and Hello Barbie can talk about anything.
	Are you ready to choose a horse for our pretend ride?
	But what they say may not stay just between friends.
	Oh, yeah.
	I remember this story.
	It goes on.
	They got servers.
	Apparently, Mistel's got a server farm that they deal with.
	So then you talk to this stupid doll.
	It sends whatever you ask to somebody.
	I think it sends just a message to India.
	Well, you know what this is going to be good for?
	Hacking.
	This is going to be great.
	Let's hack in and make all this.
	Yeah, that's what the story was about.
	Hacking.
	Yeah, oh yeah.
	Hacking into it.
	Hacking some six-year-old Barbie doll.
	Do you know that this cloud stuff...
	Give me your parents' social security number.
	Get their wallet.
	Just get the wallet.
	You have to get the wallet.
	The reliability people place on technology just because the iPhone kind of works, and it doesn't all the time.
	It crashes, it burps, it farts.
	There's crappy software everywhere.
	People believe they can put and trust their children to this thing that's coming from the cloud.
	Nuts.
	Nuts.
	Here's a good glitch.
	Today, Governor Inslee and the Department of Corrections revealed that a computer error allowed more than 3,000 offenders to get out of prison early.
	And that's not all.
	The DOC delayed fixing the mistake for years, even after learning about the problem from the family of a victim.
	It's an unforgivable error.
	That much is agreed upon, but what we don't know tonight, what caused a DOC computer glitch, which led to the early release of as many as 3,200 offenders since 2002, and how did the issue go undetected and unresolved for so long?
	That this problem was allowed to continue to exist for 13 years is deeply disappointing.
	It is totally unacceptable, and frankly, it is maddening.
	The glitch is being described as a computer coding problem.
	It miscalculated good time credits for a group of inmates with enhanced sentences.
	An enhancement could stem from having a weapon to the location of a crime.
	According to DOC, this good time glitch went undetected until 2012, Did she say good time glitch?
	Yeah, she said good time glitch.
	I like that.
	When a victim's family was notified of an offender's upcoming release.
	The family did its own calculation, determined that the offender was getting out earlier than the court had ordered, and contacted the department to ask why this was happening.
	But despite the discovery of a problem, DOC says the fix was repeatedly delayed, and senior leadership wasn't briefed until just last week.
	Yeah.
	What state was this in?
	Washington.
	There's 3,000 criminals roaming around your house up there.
	And the IRS, not a big, not a very big announcement.
	But I'll read from, this is from the, yeah, this is one of those government IT websites.
	IRS programming glitch costs millions in errant tax refunds.
	I will say, I received a tax refund two days ago, which makes zero sense.
	It was errant.
	Yes.
	How much was it?
	$1,000.
	Wow.
	Free money?
	Yeah, I was like, okay, I just cashed it.
	But now it says that...
	Are they going to want your money?
	I don't know if they're going to do that.
	I guess there's no mention of it.
	Probably cost more to get it back.
	In 2013, they had a glitch as well.
	And this all totals about $70 or $80 million of money that they've just returned to people because of a glitch.
	A glitch!
	If you have computer problems, I feel bad for you, son.
	I got 99 problems, but a glitch ain't one.
	Damn.
	Huh.
	Well, I think it's interesting.
	Yeah.
	See what else we got in the way of oddball stories.
	Here's one of my favorite things.
	This was done on RT. This was a petition at Yale, and this was a guy.
	You saw this one?
	Yeah, it was great.
	I'm glad you had this clip.
	Okay, just play it.
	A prankster has challenged students at a top American university by asking them to sign a petition to repeal the First Amendment to the U.S. Constitution, effectively giving up freedom of speech and other fundamental liberties.
	Now, was this Dice who did this?
	That guy?
	What's his name?
	No, no, this is somebody else.
	Hmm.
	I don't think it was Dice.
	They say his name in here.
	The First Amendment protects the freedom of speech, the freedom of religion, freedom of assembly, freedom of the press, and oh yeah, freedom of petition.
	What we're calling for is a petition to repeal the First Amendment.
	Just get rid of it.
	Blow it up.
	I think this is fantastic.
	I absolutely agree.
	Thank you.
	Excellent.
	Thank you.
	Love it.
	Thank you.
	I'll sign it for you guys.
	I appreciate it.
	I appreciate what you're trying to do.
	I think the Constitution should be one big safe space, right?
	Her feelings should not be protected.
	Good for you.
	That's great.
	Thank you.
	I appreciate it.
	Ami Horowitz got over 50 people in one hour to sign his petition at Yale University.
	Freedom of speech has been the focus of debate on campuses across America, but Horowitz had chosen Yale for a specific reason.
	You know, I wanted to obviously make a very prestigious school, and Yale is one of the most prestigious schools.
	And I also chose Yale because, if you remember, there's this whole free speech debate that's going on on campus across the United States.
	There was this one amazing video.
	It is not about creating an intellectual speech!
	It is not!
	Do you understand that?
	It's about creating a home here!
	And it went viral all over the country.
	And I thought, Yale is the place that we've got to do this video on.
	I thought maybe if I got two or three, you know, signatures, maybe I can do something with that.
	But even then, I thought, that's not going to really work.
	But when I realized that the majority of kids that I spoke with were signing away the most precious, fundamental right that Americans have, it shocked me.
	It blew me away.
	And I have to say, it really, really saddened me.
	And to be fair, I saw the long video with all of the morons at Yale.
	Obviously, we're only seeing the morons, so you don't know how many...
	That's the way you do these things.
	But it was very funny.
	I like that.
	It is very funny.
	Yeah, the Constitution should be one giant safe space.
	People sign anything.
	That's why I like your approach.
	We might as well repeat it if people haven't heard.
	Yeah.
	Well, it requires a little bit of thinking and reprogramming because it's a spur-of-the-moment stuff.
	But if, for instance, you're walking down the street and you have saved the children, and they say, hey, would you like to save children today?
	Then your response should be, no, I hate children, and just keep walking.
	There's other things you can do.
	I've done it.
	It's a riot.
	In Berkeley, there's all these people.
	They're always around Monterey Foods.
	Which reminds me, while we're at it, I try to tell you this little anecdote.
	I'm going to bitch again about people in line.
	So I go by and I say something about the whales.
	You walk by, I'm not interested.
	Or you say, I don't like whales, which is your idea.
	Or I'm against it.
	I always say, no, no.
	I always say, nuke the gay whales.
	Just a wise-ass.
	I'm trying.
	So we're shopping at Target.
	And I'm having trouble.
	This only happens once in a while.
	I usually have pretty good line karma, which is the karma where there's a bunch of people in line.
	The distances are pretty much equal.
	You pick a line, and you hope that you get through the line faster than normal.
	And I have a racist.
	I'm racist when it comes to this, and I'm going to explain that.
	My wife says, you're a racist.
	My racist comment is, if the checker that's working the register is black, go there.
	That's very racist of you, John.
	It's very racist.
	Why is this?
	They're fast!
	They actually do a better job.
	So why are black Americans faster than white Americans?
	I think they just like the competition or something.
	I don't know.
	It just always surprises me how much faster they are.
	But they crank.
	And I always compliment them at the end.
	And if you go to a Costco, you can just sit back and watch.
	You can see one line moving like a son of a bitch and one line nothing.
	So you get in the fast moving line.
	It's always some black guy just cranking away.
	Right.
	And so I always say to them, you're fast.
	And they always really appreciate the compliment.
	Oh.
	Well, I should try that sometime.
	But I think you should say, you're much faster than them white people.
	I think you should try that.
	I'm not doing that.
	Oh, okay.
	That would really...
	This happened at Target, by the way.
	I got in the wrong line with some woman checker who was obviously a part-timer.
	And there's a black guy, and I don't know why I didn't go in the black guy's line because he just cleared the line.
	I'm still standing behind this.
	This amateur couple of students from the University of California, obviously.
	A white guy with his Chinese girlfriend.
	Cal student, typical.
	A good-looking woman, by the way.
	She's about 21.
	And she can't use the thing with the credit card.
	She don't know how to scan it.
	She's dicking around.
	She's looking, what does this mean?
	He's pointing, push that, push that.
	And it's taking forever.
	The woman that does a checker, she decides to get into a long conversation with him.
	They turn the thing around.
	And she says, no, no, you want this.
	So then it's one of these, it's a debit card, I suppose.
	And she decides to get cash back.
	And we're sitting there waiting.
	This other line is done.
	I'm waiting, waiting, waiting.
	She gets, she wants cash back in quarters.
	So there's just doling out.
	She's got to crack in a couple quarters things.
	Asking the next guy to check her over.
	There's enough, get a quarters.
	I mean, what quarters?
	They're messing with your busy life.
	I cannot believe that they're ruining it.
	You know what?
	When you get a black checker, Who does good work, you should tip that person.
	Here.
	Here's a dollar.
	That I'm not doing either.
	You're much better than Whitey.
	You're trying to get me in trouble.
	I'm trying.
	I admit it to the moment of racism.
	Sorry.
	But I'm not going to make it clear to anybody that that's the case.
	All right.
	Well...
	Go to a black checker.
	Believe me, just go to the black checker.
	This is like...
	I'm going to show myself mood by donating to no agenda.
	Imagine all the people who could do that.
	Oh, yeah, that would eventually.
	I'm sorry.
	I tried to start it four times already.
	Well, that's okay.
	I'm going to tell the story anyway.
	Okay.
	So I was told this years ago by a fellow frequent traveler who's just everywhere.
	And this is not racist.
	This is sexist, what I'm about to say.
	Okay.
	When you're coming into a country through the lines where they have passport control.
	Yes.
	Border control.
	Never go to the woman.
	That's what I'm told.
	The Christmas cheer you bring is just a smile.
	A smile on my face, John.
	I'm so happy.
	Don't go to the woman.
	All right, everybody!
	And follow that procedure.
	You can write john.divore.org bitching and moaning if you feel like it.
	All right, let's go.
	We do have a bunch of people to thank.
	There's some music playing or something.
	Yeah, you sent it to me.
	It's the tuba.
	It's the tuba.
	Yeah, and you're like, oh, this will come in handy.
	And I'm playing like, there's a music playing.
	What's going on here?
	Yeah, this is what you gave me.
	That would be nice for the donation segment for today.
	Yeah, play it.
	Play me through with the two of them.
	Just loop it.
	All right.
	Yeah, I'm looping.
	You're good to go.
	Dame Beth, Baronetis of Baja, Tucson, Arizona, 12206.
	He came in with a high-obulated birthday.
	You have it on the 17-year-old niece, Miss Elizabeth.
	I think we did.
	Wasn't this from last time?
	I don't know.
	Yeah, I don't know.
	Morris Consulting in Las Wages, Nevada, 77.
	So hold on a second.
	Okay.
	I'm reading from last week's spreadsheet.
	That's why.
	Now bring us some bready pudding.
	Figgy pudding.
	Okay.
	Here we go.
	Now I'm on the right spreadsheet.
	I think we're at Sir Atomic Rod Adams.
	Sir Atomic Rod.
	And by the way, he sent in enough to be placed in the...
	He sent a bunch of little donations, but they add up to over $200.
	So he will be mentioned as a...
	He will be the...
	Associate Executive Producer.
	Ah, very good.
	So we can read these notes.
	His top donation was 12345.
	Merry Christmas from Atomic Insights and Sir Atomic Rod Adams, Baronet of the Blue Ridge.
	This is the first of several donations meant to send both good cheer and to increase the physical size of your donation spreadsheet.
	Yo, yo.
	Because we bitched about that last time.
	Okay, onward.
	David Hoffman, 12345, from Enola, Pennsylvania.
	David Joseph Cavaletto in Auburn, California, 1111, followed by Clay Gilliland, or Gilliland, or Gilliland, in Chandler, Arizona, 1111.
	Donald Borosky in Spokane Valley.
	Oops!
	Oh, that's the United Federation of Planets guy.
	Yeah, when you get your note on Official Federation...
	And you can't find a note, there it is.
	When you get a note, it's on Official United Federation of Planets Stationery.
	It has to be read.
	Dear John and Adam, I am celebrating a year of listening and donating to No Agenda by sending you a sack of ones.
	Long live and prosper.
	I look forward to sending you a sack of twos this time next year.
	Sir Donald of the Fire Bottles.
	Don Borowski.
	W-A-6-O-M-I. 73.
	73.
	KetoFox5.
	Sierra Lima, November.
	Spokane Valley.
	Hey, I got my 80 meter loop up yesterday.
	Yeah, I heard that.
	Vicki Kostecki in Maple, Ontario, 1-0-1-0-1, which is nice, by the way.
	She says, your analysis keeps me grounded.
	Sir Ian of the Butchered Name.
	And you nailed it!
	Montreal, Quebec.
	Ben Smith in Greenville, Texas, $100.
	Alan Fletcher in Bothell, Washington, $100.
	And that's Kilo Golf 7, Kilo Hotel Papa, 7 threes.
	Herbert Harms in Durham, North Carolina, 100.
	Chris Schooler in Wellington.
	That's Kiwi Chris.
	Sir Kiwi.
	Oh, Kiwi Chris.
	Dennis Sterko in Seaside Park, New Jersey.
	Trevor...
	I'm missing the tuba.
	Trevor Merkin and Bubbery.
	Bubbery, France.
	That's another one.
	Did he do two?
	I guess.
	Oh, we'll have to add that to his...
	Yeah, because he did two.
	So he'll be an executive producer.
	With 333.33 total.
	There you go.
	David Oliver in Calistoga, California, 100.
	Ralph Johnson, Lake Isabella, 100.
	Down to 99.99 with Rob Leggett.
	Hey, Niner Niner.
	Niner Niner!
	You see what he says?
	He says, I've cancelled my serious Radio XM subscription.
	Instead, I'll be contributing to the best podcast in the universe, and it offers far more value.
	This is exactly why Howard Stern says podcasting is for losers, because it's competition, and we're beating him.
	Well, not in the pocketbook.
	Well, not me, but collectively, yeah.
	Oh, collectively.
	Yeah, fine.
	Yeah, no, there's nothing there.
	Serious radio is for old has-beens.
	That's getting back at him.
	Yeah, I'll show him.
	He can't say nothing about me now, because no one will hear it.
	That's the point.
	And Matthew Hertert in Bowlesburg, Pennsylvania, $99.99.
	Chase Tomlinson in Austin, Tejas.
	Sir Craig Porter, Council Bluffs, Iowa.
	Michael Kearns in Kansas City, Missouri.
	Sir Craig Kuttner in Norwalk, Connecticut.
	6969. Alex Doty in Brisbane, Queensland, Australia, 6969.
	Sir Rick in Arlington, Washington, 693.
	Rodney M. Adams in Forest, Virginia, 6789.
	That's Sir Rod again there, obviously.
	Sir Rod, Rod, Sir Rodney.
	Thomas Hitler.
	Hitler.
	But he is from Vienna.
	It's kind of funny.
	Yeah, it is funny.
	I wonder what his real name was.
	Hitler.
	That's his name.
	Hitler.
	Not Hitler.
	Hitler.
	He's my son Adolph.
	Probably not a good joke there.
	Sir Brian Warden in Downs, Illinois.
	$64.33.
	Kevin Dills.
	Sir Kevin Dills in Charlotte, North Carolina.
	$64.32.
	Gina Brown.
	$63.78.
	Parts unknown.
	Brian Young in Buckeye, Arizona.
	$62.
	Jason Aubrey Foreman, Arkansas.
	$56.78.
	He says he's...
	He needs a proper de-douching.
	I think we should just give him the one right there gratuitously.
	You've been de-douched.
	Wow.
	Christopher Bellia.
	Bellia.
	I'm not sure.
	Ashland, Virginia.
	5678.
	The Dame Bang Bang.
	Bang Bang!
	In Buellton, California.
	She said a card.
	Oh, that's nice.
	Yeah, it's a very pretty card, too.
	It's nice.
	And she said something.
	Happy ITM and Happy Holidays.
	I thought you and Adam would enjoy this book.
	Oh, she sent me a book.
	Oh.
	I helped my friend publish this book.
	Don't worry, it isn't...
	I sent one to Adam direct.
	It's a book on the ground report from my friends in Syria.
	Okay?
	You got a copy.
	I haven't received it yet.
	You will get one.
	Okay.
	Christopher Gray in Covington, Louisiana, 55-55.
	Sir D.H. Slammer.
	Ah, Dame Bang Bang threw in a few extra dimes and got ahead of him.
	Very nice.
	Yeah, she beat him by a dollar and a buck four-knife cents.
	He came in with 55-33.
	Thank you for your courage.
	Michael Birch in Port Townsend, Washington, 55-10.
	Double nickels on the dime.
	Scott Waldherr in Middleton, Wisconsin, same thing.
	Jason Doolin in Las Wages, Nevada, 55-10.
	Andy Benz in St.
	Louis, Missouri, 55-10.
	William LaRock, another double nickels on the dime from Locust, North Carolina.
	Sir Christopher Walker, Baron of Brown County, De Pere, Wisconsin, 54-32.
	Sir D.H. Slammer, again, 54-32.
	And a lot of interesting donations here that are doubling up.
	John Cruz in Evergreen, Colorado, 5335.
	Jim Burlingame in Bergen, New York, 5280.
	Mile High Club, anonymous Mile High member in Eagle, Idaho, 5280.
	Brian Massey, Hartford, Connecticut, 5280.
	Down to another anonymous, 5225.
	And read for me while I go to turn the phone off.
	And Isaac Piggott, of course, we know him from the anal leakage from Trussville.
	Wait.
	That's not anal leakage.
	That's...
	I don't know what I did now.
	Shock, that's right.
	I'm shocked!
	Not more people are supporting the show around here.
	Yeah, we played those earlier.
	Eric Hochul, Berlin, Deutschland, with 52.
	Sir Graham Dunlop, 5150.
	Calgary, Alberta.
	Eric Schmidt, Frankfurt, also 5150.
	Josh Mandel, Greenville, South Carolina, 5102.
	Roger...
	I'll take the 50s.
	Roger Estes is the last 51, you're right.
	Yeah, hold on, hold on, hold on.
	Are you ready for the last 50s?
	Ready, ready, ready?
	Well, I still got the 50-50s.
	Okay, there you go.
	Robert Goschko, Earl of Alberta.
	Brian Kaufman in Phoenix, Arizona.
	These are both 50-50s.
	And we dropped Sir Herb Lamb in Sugarhill, Georgia, 50-33.
	Levi Wagner, 50-33 from Manitowoc, Wisconsin.
	Ross Thomas, North Perth.
	North Perth, 50-24.
	Now, the rest of the $50 donors in order of the spreadsheet and time and place.
	Shane Rozdilski in Saskatoon.
	David Joyner in Oroville, California.
	Marianne Sabia in Torrington, Connecticut.
	David Ellis in Crystal Lake, Illinois.
	Q Anonymous in Baltimore, Maryland.
	Norman Pearson in Macon, Georgia.
	Gerald Parker in Raleigh, North Carolina.
	We have a good...
	We could have a big giant meet-up in North Carolina for sure.
	I'll go.
	Sir Chris Whidden in Millboro, Virginia.
	Joe Schwartzbauer in Florissant, Missouri.
	Jason Kotling, parts unknown.
	Macy Stolowski in Calgary, Canada.
	Sandy Geisler in Watkinsville, Georgia.
	Robert Hill in Aberdeen.
	Michael Madaloni in Parts Unknown.
	Brandon Mink in Tempe, Arizona.
	Patrick Maycomb.
	Sir Patrick Maycomb to you in New York City.
	Andrew Martin in Torella, New South Wales.
	Jason Daniels, Parts Unknown.
	Daniel Laboy in Bath, Michigan.
	Mark...
	What do you think?
	Tiernauer.
	In Lothian, Virginia.
	Yes.
	Yes.
	Need a sip.
	Okay.
	Oh, they're coming in.
	Mark, yeah, okay.
	Sir Benjamin Smith, I think he's a sir now.
	Maybe not.
	Benjamin Smith over here in Oaktown.
	Sir Mark Tanner in Whitteler, California.
	Joshua Defabo, or Defaba, in Alameda, California.
	And finally, last but not least, is Sir David Trotsky in Romeoville, Illinois.
	I want to thank all these folks, fine folks, for giving us a nice Christmas gift.
	Perfect!
	You timed it perfectly with music.
	Yeah, with the cough and all.
	Good work, Mr.
	Dvorak.
	So there was a meet-up up in Port Angeles, I guess, or Squim or someplace up there.
	And I guess a bunch of people showed up.
	Yeah, like 12 or 13 people showed up, I think.
	That's nice.
	And that's about our group up there.
	That's a good group.
	Everyone should be thanked profusely for meeting up.
	Yes, indeed.
	Who was on the phone?
	Who was on the phone?
	I don't know.
	I think it was...
	I don't know.
	I don't even know why the whole thing was screwy.
	Well, we want to thank everyone, especially people who came in under $50 for reasons of anonymity.
	A lot of our 3333s in there.
	A lot of other subscriptions.
	Thank you so much.
	Remember to check them out and renew for the new year.
	Your credit card may expire and PayPal will just kick you off unceremoniously.
	Thank you for giving us this Christmas gift.
	And thank you, God, for Donald Trump.
	We really appreciate that.
	And we'll be back on New Year's Eve!
	Dvorak.org Slash N-A Jobs, jobs, jobs, and jobs.
	Let's vote for jobs!
	You've got karma.
	It's a birthday, birthday.
	And we're near the end of the year.
	Sir Chris Kitterman says happy birthday to his wife Kristen Kitterman turning 29 today.
	Josh Mandel says happy birthday to Jesus.
	Sir Ted Hoffman celebrated on the 22nd.
	Congratulations to him.
	And Trevor Merkin says happy birthday to his son Oscar who turned 16 on the 21st.
	Happy birthday from all your friends here at the best podcast in the universe.
	Sir Fudge Fountain today becomes Baron of Ann Arbor.
	Congratulations.
	Very, very happy to put him on the peerage list.
	And we have three knights, Brian Lawson, Ian Garling, and Alan Hawes.
	And if we could have all of them up on the stage, I got my...
	Do you have your Christmas blade with you, Mr.
	DeVore?
	Yeah, here it is.
	Very nice.
	I lost Ian Garling, Alan Hawes.
	All three of you are supporting the best podcast in the university amount of $1,000 or more.
	Therefore, I'm very proud to pronounce the KB. Sir Brian, Sir Ian Garling, and Sir Alan Hawes.
	Gentlemen, for you, we have a spot at the No Agenda Roundtable.
	We've got Hookers and Blow, Rent Boys and Chardonnay, Crickets and Cream, Black Hose and ND2020, Sake and Sushi, Progressive Rock, and Russian Imperial Stout.
	Root beer and Legos, ass cream with bear fillings, porn stars and pot, cannellini, yonga, and jambo, and of course we always have some mutton and mead for you.
	So head on over to noagendanation.com slash rings.
	Eric, the show will hook you up.
	Was there something about the...
	Did I read something about the ring?
	Something weird was going on?
	Yes, he's still setting the off-size rings up, but he's waiting for the big shipment from China.
	Oh, the Chinese.
	The most popular ring, so some people are going to still have to wait.
	Huh.
	Very annoying.
	Speaking of which, the president...
	Hold on.
	Executive order.
	There was another executive order that came out at the end of the year.
	Yeah, I'm always a little...
	Yeah, I'm a little cautious.
	So I looked this one up.
	This is...
	Let me see.
	When did this come out?
	Hmm.
	Pretty sure it was an executive order.
	Was it just a...
	It hasn't been published yet, I guess.
	That's very strange.
	Well, it was specifically about something that...
	I brought it up here.
	It referenced the...
	Here it is.
	It referenced a change in the APEC Schedule C, no, Part B of Appendix C of Asian-Pacific Economic Cooperation.
	And this dates back to 2012.
	This particular APEC meeting was held in Vladivostok.
	And the president...
	And I just can't find this.
	For some reason, either it's been removed or it's not where I thought it would be.
	The president said in his executive order that...
	We're going to change import duties of all of the items listed in Appendix C of the 2012 APEC meeting, 54 categories, I should say, of goods, whose tariff rates are now going to be lowered to 5% or less, according to the new harmonized system code.
	So this is about imports, and I'm interested.
	You know, why did you put that at the end of the year?
	I guess it had to be done by the end of the year, based on some kind of agreements.
	But what is now being brought down from over 8%, in some cases, I think 11.5%, is the following items from Japan.
	Auxiliary plant for use with boilers.
	Auxiliary plant for use with boilers.
	Parts for auxiliary plant with use with boilers.
	Parts for steam and other vapor turbines.
	Gas turbines with power exceeding 5000 kilowatts.
	Parts of gas turbines.
	Engine and motor parts for gas turbines.
	It's all about Japanese gas turbines.
	Huh.
	And I'm thinking, don't we have GE? Shouldn't we be protecting them?
	We're just lowering this now to 5%?
	Maybe they're bringing them in for GE. That's what it sounds like to me.
	Possible, possible, possible.
	Yeah.
	I thought it was odd.
	Well.
	It was just one of those things that no one ever really bothers to look up, and I just did it.
	That's like...
	Oh, Matt.
	Matt was back.
	That was kind of fun.
	Matt was back in the State Department.
	Oh, Matt.
	Matt Lee.
	Matt Lee.
	Right, Matt Lee.
	Now, he's obviously no longer with Marie, so we don't really get old.
	Yeah, he's depressed.
	Well, he's also on the road a lot.
	I see him all the time, and he's on his tweeters.
	He's on the plane with...
	With Carrie, he's traveling around the world, you know, for some reason he doesn't get back to home base a lot.
	Well, why should he?
	Marie's not here.
	Well, you got a good point there.
	And it would be...
	He's not going to be dating, what's her name, the Chin Chin Chin, you know, the RT girl.
	Tapu Tadaching Ching?
	Yeah, Tadapu Tadaching Ching.
	And what is interesting, of course, is that I set this clip up and then...
	I can't find it.
	It's not that interesting.
	Really?
	It's not interesting.
	Why is it not interesting?
	Because.
	It's your lament.
	It's a lament.
	No, I have a clip from him, from Matt.
	I have a clip from Matt.
	Oh, okay, hit it.
	If I could find it, then this is what I'm saying.
	You claimed that's interesting, but I just didn't think it was.
	That you can't find a clip.
	This is maddening now.
	No, you'll find it in a second.
	I got a couple of fillers.
	Yeah, give me a filler, please.
	I don't know.
	What the hell happened?
	This is gone.
	This was kind of a...
	Okay, let's play some...
	The worst kind of native advertising this showed up on...
	This wasn't even...
	They didn't tell you anything.
	Except this has been going on on all the networks and it's getting on my nerves.
	This coffee bowl crap.
	Play this clip.
	Hold on a second.
	Coffee bowl crap.
	What is the name of the clip?
	A new study says that drinking coffee might actually increase your survival rate.
	The 10-year-old study showed that people who drank coffee regularly were less likely to die from things like heart disease and diabetes when compared to those who don't drink coffee at all.
	In fact, the more coffee a person regularly drinks, scientists found a lower risk of dying.
	Now, if you're thinking you like the health benefits, but...
	Not the caffeine.
	Apparently, the same outcome goes for those who only drink decaf.
	Oh, please.
	Oh, yeah.
	Sure.
	Oh, please.
	This is Starbucks.
	They're paying God knows how much money, or Keurig.
	They're paying all this money.
	I've heard this on every network.
	It comes and goes.
	Oh, you drink coffee, you're going to live forever.
	This is bold.
	This is nonsense.
	There's no way.
	Mm-hmm.
	I'm not going to dispute it.
	I'm sure it's good for you.
	I drink coffee.
	I like coffee.
	Alright, I have a couple of year-end clips to just throw in there.
	Just crazy, crazy stuff.
	From the BBC, we have a Chinese woman with her child.
	Of course, the air quality, very poor in many parts of China.
	Red alert.
	And the Canadians, Scandinavians, have capitalized on this.
	Capitalize on the bad air.
	My name is Tanya, and I'm a full-time mom, and I gave birth in 2013.
	So now she's almost three years old.
	I read the news first.
	I saw there's two young men from Canada.
	They invented this bottled air.
	I trust this product.
	It's very easy.
	It's just like you open the cap here and then you pull up this cover and then put it here.
	Then you press, inhale.
	That's it.
	Very simple.
	So you can get the fresh air from Rocky Mountain in Banff, Canada.
	So it's an aerosol can.
	I know.
	This has no Agenda products written all over it.
	It's an aerosol can.
	It looks like a big can of hairspray.
	And it's got like this, you flip the top over and it has like a mouthpiece.
	And she jams it onto the kid's face and then presses the button.
	Fresh Rocky Mountain air is spewing into the kid's face, and the kid's like, mmm, I love it.
	It's so much better than what we have outside.
	Pathetic.
	Let's just run her air through a HEPA filter inside the house, and she's good to go.
	Yeah.
	Then from the See Something, Say Something category.
	If you see something, say something.
	A call to 911 in Brown Deer, Wisconsin is getting quite a bit of attention.
	An elderly woman called police because she thought she heard someone chanting, ISIS is good, ISIS is great, while they were having intercourse in their apartment complex.
	The incident since went viral with police getting calls from overseas about the incident.
	Police Chief Michael Kass says this incident was blown a little out of proportion, but understands the country's heightened state of alert.
	We encourage people to, you know, if they see something, to say something.
	So, you know, we don't discredit the story.
	We investigate it to the best we could with the knowledge we have.
	The chief says the woman's physical ailments possibly affected what she heard.
	I love that story.
	I gotta get the clip from the old Larry David show where he falls in love with a chicken maker, a fried chicken place that's run by Palestinians.
	And so he starts dating this Palestinian girl.
	And then he's, you know, and he's pretty, you know, he becomes, it's a very funny thing because he keeps having sex with her.
	And they yell at each other.
	If I'm having sex with you, dirty Jew!
	She yells at him and he yells some insult at her and they're screaming.
	I'll have to find it or somebody out there if they have it.
	It shouldn't be that hard to find.
	The sex scene is quite funny.
	All right.
	That would be a cool one for end of show if someone had it.
	All right, one more.
	Now, this is a little concerning.
	Of course, in the gun conversation that we need to have in this country, one of the options is the states can pretty much do anything they want.
	January 1st in Austin, we will have open carry of any kind of firearm.
	You will, for handguns, you will have to have your concealed carry permit in order to carry open.
	Um, which will be interesting for the, um, very, uh, blue state, very blue city of Austin in the red state of Texas.
	But in Hawaii, they've taken it to the level where we already expected this would be.
	And when we have a conversation about the mental health of people in this country, mental health, which means, you know, this is the regulations being pushed for, uh, we heard from this universe, mental health, Hawaii
	is a step ahead of everybody.
	Well, whose strict gun permitting process is not only confusing, some say it's unfair, and tonight a new dispute.
	The Honolulu Police Department is requiring a doctor's note that many doctors are not willing to write.
	Right now, it's unclear how many medical providers are having similar issues, but we do know for sure Kaiser is not willing to write the letter HPD is requiring.
	Now, their reason seems to be twofold.
	First is the general liability issue, and Kaiser says their process for handling gun permit requests is in line with other local healthcare organizations.
	Secondly, though, the wording of the letter as HPD is demanding it implies the applicant has prior medical concerns they may not have.
	Prior medical concerns.
	Love that.
	This is what HPD is now handing out to gun permit applicants.
	It requires a doctor to sign a letter stating the individual shall own, possess, or control any firearm or ammunition and has been medically documented to be no longer adversely affected by addiction, abuse, dependence, mental disease, disorder, or defect.
	HPD says the gun permit process requires a letter from a medical provider stating whether the provider has records relating to the applicant's mental health history or treatment.
	Kaiser Permanente says the law does require them to release health information to HPD, but it does not require doctors to give a medical clearance determination.
	The police department is the only organization who can evaluate an individual's fitness to acquire or own a firearm.
	Healthcare organizations and providers do not make these evaluations.
	Huh.
	Yeah.
	That's how it's going to go.
	That's how it's going to go.
	And then meanwhile, of course, the only people that would be having guns would be cops.
	You have to listen to this weird shooting in L.A. story, and then I'll describe what...
	Somebody got a video of this, unfortunately, for the cops.
	Oh, yes.
	I've seen this.
	Yeah, I've seen it.
	Newly released cell phone footage appears to show Los Angeles sheriff's deputies shooting a man in the back as he lies pinned to the ground.
	Last May, deputies stopped Noel Aguilar from riding his bike with headphones.
	Authorities initially claimed Aguilar shot one of the deputies as they were handcuffing him, but officials later revealed the shot came from the other deputy's gun.
	Video just released by OC Weekly shows Aguilar Pinned to the ground asking one of the deputies why he has his gun out.
	The deputy fires a shot into Aguilar's stomach.
	Then the second deputy fires three shots at Aguilar.
	An attorney for Aguilar's family said the shooting, quote, seems like it's murder.
	So they show this thing.
	There's two cops on top of this guy.
	One guy casually pulls out what looks like a snub-nosed.38.
	Pulls it out while he's got his knee on the guy's back.
	Just pulls it out casually.
	Very quickly, too, like he has a quick-draw thing.
	He comes up, boom, pumps through two or three bullets.
	Three, three, three, three.
	Yeah, boom, boom, boom.
	Just like that.
	Sticks the gun right back in his holster just instantly.
	And the other guy's got his gun on.
	I guess he's shot him a couple times, too.
	What?
	Are you kidding me?
	Somebody got a video of it, and you watch this, and it's just like, they just got this kid down and decided to fill him full of lead.
	That was it.
	Yeah, it was pretty bad.
	Yeah, these guys, this is not going to work out for them.
	No.
	All right, let's end it for the video.
	Why don't we end the show on a high note?
	Yes, it is in most parts still Christmas Eve.
	You still have some time for some shopping.
	Pot appears to be a popular stocking stuffer this year in Seattle.
	An employee at the pot shop in Fremont tells My Northwest that sales in the past two days are the best that they've been since the store has opened.
	He also said one of the most popular gifts is a comically large joint that sells for $80.
	This is what I want!
	I finally know what I want for Christmas!
	I want the comically large joint that sells for $80!
	Yes!
	Yes!
	Oh, Santa, oh yes!
	I participated in the Santa net last night on 80 meters.
	Oh, what does that do?
	No, we track Santa just like NORAD. Oh, did you finally get a hold of the Santa have a rig?
	Yeah, we saw it.
	No, we didn't talk to Santa.
	I saw a sleigh flying over Austin, Texas for all the little young hams out there listening on 80 meters.
	Mm-hmm.
	Okay.
	All right, buddy.
	We will be back in a few days for our New Year's Eve.
	No, no.
	What do you mean, no?
	No, we've got a show on Sunday, New Year's Eve.
	That's what I said.
	We'll be back on Sunday for New Year's Eve.
	No, New Year's Eve is...
	We have a Thursday show before New Year's.
	Isn't that New Year's Eve?
	Isn't Monday New Year's?
	Friday New Year's?
	I don't know.
	What day is it?
	New Year's is next Friday.
	I don't know what I'm talking about.
	So we have a show.
	I know you've been doing this the whole show and I've been meaning to ask you what you're talking about.
	Well, let me check.
	We have a show on Sunday.
	Then we have a show on New Year's Eve.
	We have two shows.
	What?
	Now on New Year's, yeah.
	Oh, geez.
	Okay.
	Well, there you go.
	Donate to our show.
	Remember us.
	I'm glad that you do this.
	Dvorak.org slash NA. I'm always condemned by the family for thinking Christmas is December 24th.
	Hey, John?
	Thank you for your courage.
	I'm condemned for this.
	Thank you for your courage.
	You've condemned me.
	Well, thank you for your courage, and Merry Christmas to you, and all the rest of that saying, whatever it is, I can't remember.
	Play the tuba.
	Okay.
	All right, we'll play the tuba.
	We'll end with the tuba.
	How about that?
	Okay, fine.
	We'll extend it just a little bit.
	Everyone coming down to your place for Christmas?
	Everybody but Eric.
	Oh, okay.
	Well, good.
	He deserves a lump of coal.
	That's right, everybody.
	We'll be back on Thursday.
	That's the show before the last show of the year.
	We'll be back on Sunday.
	Yeah, whatever.
	I've been hitting the eggnog.
	That's the problem.
	Well, apparently.
	I shouldn't be hitting the eggnog and the schlitz during this show.
	Coming to you from downtown Austin in the Crackpot Condo.
	In the morning, everybody.
	I'm Adam Curry.
	And from northern Silicon Valley, we're suddenly cleared up and the sky is blue.
	Holy mackerel, I'm John C. Dvorak.
	We'll be back on Sunday right here on No Agenda.
	No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
	Hey!
	What pillar riding helmet are you going to wear?
	Pink.
	I want to get a gun and learn how to use it.
	I want to get a gun and learn how to use it.
	All about that, huh?
	A constitution!
	Whoopee!
	Oh, I remember that!
	Oh, my gosh!
	Oh, my God, I used to love that.
	Oh, God.
	I used to love that.
	It did!
	Oh, my God!
	Oh, my God!
	Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
	Yes!
	Can you see that juice?
	Get out of my vagina!
	I didn't actually interact directly with people in the IT arena.
	Somebody whose name was 29 hours last year.
	I think his first name is Ben.
	A dude named Ben.
	You should be seeing blue screen of death, lady.
	And wash your hands after touching any raw meat.
	Adios, mofo.
	The best podcast in the universe.
	Dvorak.org slash N-A. Amen.

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