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Jan. 22, 2015 - No Agenda

03:11:08

689: Code 44

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Time	Text
	She conked out.
	Adam Curry, John C. Devorak.
	It's Thursday, January 22nd, 2015.
	Time for your Gitmo Nation media assassination episode 689er.
	This is no agenda.
	Just getting by on my mac and cheese here in FEMA Region 6 in the capital of the drone star state, Austin Statehouse.
	In the morning, everybody.
	I'm Adam Curry.
	And from northern Silicon Valley, where we keep the rain stick, I'm John C. Devorak.
	There's one thing we don't need in Austin right now.
	It's the rain stick.
	We need the rain stick here.
	It's been raining for two weeks here.
	Well, send it our way.
	There you go.
	New toy.
	What was that?
	Well, you don't need...
	Oh, you have some sort of...
	You've got it, yeah.
	Phony baloney software theremin.
	I can't even phony baloney you, can I? Alright, yeah.
	It was a phony below anyone.
	You're right.
	Yeah, I had one of those.
	Well, I don't have it.
	It's just a piece of bode somewhere.
	I thought I could impress you, but no.
	I guess not.
	Ah.
	It's going to take a lot to impress me.
	Yeah, I hear you, bro.
	So, yes, no, not yesterday.
	Yes, no.
	Tuesday.
	Tuesday?
	Yes, Tuesday.
	We had one day, all of a sudden, just beautiful weather.
	Oh, nice.
	Sun was shining, skies were blue, 70 degrees.
	Perfect.
	Yes, I'm going to go out for a walk.
	And I wanted to walk around what we called Town Lake or Lady Bird Lake or really the Colorado River.
	Lady Bird Lake named after Lady Bird Johnson?
	Yes.
	Well, LBJ was from Austin.
	Everything in Austin is LBJ this, LBJ that.
	You know, the guy was one of the worst presidents in the endeavor.
	It's funny you mention that.
	I met the new executive director of one of the...
	Like, there's a theater here, a non-profit, that is the only one that really does anything worthwhile.
	And they...
	She acquired the right to produce the LBJ Broadway play in Austin, which I know nothing about.
	I never heard of it.
	I guess it's on Broadway now.
	No, it can't be now.
	It must be an old play.
	No, I think it's new.
	LBJ. You look that up, and I'll tell you the story.
	So they went to New York to go look at the production, and LBJ is portrayed as a complete, horrible, racist a-hole.
	Great!
	And she said, they're finally doing their job.
	She said, yeah, we're going to produce that differently here in Austin.
	I said, really?
	Yeah, we're not going to make him look like an a-hole.
	That's funny.
	Really?
	You can do that?
	You can do that without changing the words?
	Oh, yeah, we can do that.
	It's with Bryan Cranston.
	I told you.
	No, when it first came out, it was with Bryan Cranston.
	It came out in 2013.
	Oh, okay.
	Or at least it was casting in 2013.
	Anyway, so I'm walking around Lady Bird Lake, and then I see some commotion going up on Congress, and this is Congress Avenue where the Bat Bridge is.
	That is the Ann Richards Bridge, actually.
	That's where all the bats fly out at sunset.
	Yeah, the big bat thing.
	And so I'm walking along, and...
	They have this kind of thing in San Antonio, too.
	The bats.
	Yeah.
	Austin's famous for it.
	So is San Antonio, if you ask them.
	Anyway, go on, sorry.
	And there's a parade.
	Of bats?
	No, a parade of militaristic people, which I guess is what all parades are.
	It was Inauguration Day, I didn't realize it.
	Our new governor, Greg Abbott, was going to lead the parade all the way down Congress to the Capitol building.
	And become inaugurated.
	And I just stood there.
	And I was...
	On the one hand, we do this so well in America.
	We do parades so well.
	But holy crap, it's all militaristic.
	And even the open carry dudes are walking along in the parade.
	Shooting in the air?
	Not shooting in the air, but open carry.
	It was really an interesting...
	It's all militaristic.
	Seriously, there's a million different groups and colors and all the way down to the guys who were, I guess, reenact the Wild West and they're in their Confederate garb in covered wagons.
	They were reenactment guys.
	Yeah, but it's some different kind of group.
	Were they shooting in the air?
	No, no one was shooting in the air.
	No.
	And then they had this float, Texas Energy, number one.
	We're number one.
	And there was a huge, on this float, big oil rigs with oil spouting out of the top.
	I took a picture of it.
	I tweeted it.
	I said, that's too funny.
	Yeah.
	That's too funny.
	But it was, I have to say, you know, it's a strange culture that we have in Texas, which is very, I think it's still very much the very conservative, even in Austin, which you wouldn't expect.
	No, Austin's a liberal town.
	Yeah, but still, and everyone's kind of applauding this, and yay!
	Way to go!
	Yay for marching!
	Yay for marching!
	But seriously, marching, militaristic stuff, except for the...
	Goose step?
	Goose step?
	Well, kind of.
	I was watching some of the moves.
	They have like half-step if they need to slow down before an intersection, or if the parade is slowing down.
	Half-step red light!
	I do know Code 45.
	I did a drill team for like a month or two when I was very young.
	You know, on a drill team?
	Yeah, before your parents were going to shuffle you off to military academy, military school.
	Yeah, and so you'd have to go on a parade.
	This is very young.
	Only once I really did this.
	We had Code 44.
	Have we not discussed Code 44 on the show before?
	No, we've never discussed Code 44.
	Code 44 means careful there's horse crap on the road.
	Everyone needs to be aware.
	Code 44.
	Well, there you have it.
	That would be the mainstream media news reports.
	So, despite that we have another Republican governor who, of course, obliterated...
	Wasn't Wendy running?
	Yeah, who obliterated Wendy Davis.
	Oh, yeah, it was because she was a big phony, it turned out.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Huge phony.
	That's what I like about Austin, too.
	Hey, new governor, we'll celebrate anyway.
	He's our governor, and we're not going to complain about it.
	I just thought it was an interesting little moment that they cleared the skies, had the parade, and it was just all military.
	Oh, that's interesting.
	So you're telling me that because God shines down on Texas, that the weather was good that one lone day they were going to have the touristic parade.
	That's right, son.
	That's how we do it here.
	Well, I've got this to say.
	Please don't rain stick me, bro.
	Oh, there you go.
	Don't make me come back with my rain stick.
	Do not make me do it.
	And then, of course, there was all kinds of stuff going on.
	All kinds of stuff.
	Let's see what we got.
	So State of the Union, I was just looking at the newsletter, which is sometimes a little unfair advantage because you'll say things and I'm like, okay, maybe that's what you'll have clips of we're going to be talking about.
	Hey, this newsletter, if you look carefully, is co-written by us and you approve it.
	I do approve it.
	And then when I see it, I'm thinking, hey, that's what he's thinking.
	Well, I couldn't get much from it.
	Here's the only thing I really got from out of the whole thing is, let's see, I got too many clips, by the way.
	It's okay.
	We can handle it.
	Obama's speech ratings.
	Now you're talking.
	But it did not equal great TV ratings.
	Nielsen says about 31.7 million people watched the State of the Union address.
	I would say that was pretty good, but it is in fact the lowest rated of the Obama presidency.
	The White House, though, is trying to put a good spin on all of this, saying the speech actually received more than a million views online.
	Okay, now I wanted to say something about this.
	I got email after email after email leading up to this speech.
	From the White House.
	From the White House, from the President, from Biden.
	And from VJ? I didn't get anything from VJ. VJ44? No.
	That's her Twitter handle, VJ44. Who?
	Valerie Jarrett.
	Oh, is it?
	No, I didn't get anything from her.
	BJ44 is what you mean.
	Yeah, well, I doubt it.
	Sorry, Tourette.
	Anyway, it's saying, oh, watch it online, watch it online, watch it online, watch it online, watch it online, watch it online.
	All these emails kept pouring in, and they got a million people stupid enough to watch it online.
	And I was saying, what is the point of this?
	Because it's burdensome to the network to watch it online when it's on TV and everyone's got the TV. Or I guess there's some kids that would have to watch it online because they've cut the cable.
	Well, they had this whole campaign leading up to it with the little video vignettes and the president teasing what he was going to talk about.
	My thinking on this is that they wanted everyone to watch it online because they don't want anyone listening to any analysis.
	Yes and no.
	I believe that a lot of things that took place is because of the new chief technology officer of the United States of America, which is former Googler Megan...
	What's her last name?
	Megan Smith was a former guru.
	She was one of the executives at Planet Out.
	And then she went to...
	She was famous for marrying Kara.
	And divorcing Kara.
	And divorcing Kara.
	Before the law was even passed in California, they got divorced already.
	It's all on YouTube, all of that.
	It all kind of fits together a little bit, makes so much sense.
	You can just feel that someone's doing a strategy.
	Hey, I got a strategy.
	Interactive differently.
	It's definitely right out of Silicon Valley.
	Correct.
	Somehow Megan got over at Google and I don't know what happened.
	I haven't seen her.
	She used to be on my show a lot.
	The Silicon Spin show.
	I have her on often.
	Well, the main thing...
	She's a nice woman, but I don't know that, you know, I don't know.
	She's just a valley girl from my perspective.
	The main thing with these types of speeches that the president does, they're very important.
	Because they will always be referred to later on.
	Like, I told you this.
	Remember when I said this?
	This is exactly how we promised it.
	Which, by the way, brings me to another complaint.
	This is supposed to be the state of the union, not the state of what I'm trying to accomplish or what I want to do next week or what we've got in the pipeline.
	That's not what the speech is supposed to be.
	What is the country?
	Let's give us a report on the country as it is this moment.
	Well, that was the first minute.
	It's like, the State of the Union is strong.
	Okay, good night.
	Let's get back to CSI. Come on, we're done.
	Yeah, that's what the State of the Union is supposed to be.
	Now it's a political speech.
	I'm not running because I've won twice.
	That was pretty funny.
	It was funny.
	You couldn't beat me, you boneheads.
	I don't have to run anymore.
	What's that got to do with the State of the Union?
	We don't care about him being a good candidate.
	I've got two clips and I have some controversies to discuss.
	Okay, somebody does.
	By the way, this show today is going to be me complaining a lot.
	G. All right.
	This is totally different than any other show.
	Here we go.
	And no challenge.
	No challenge.
	Poses a greater threat to future generations than climate change.
	Ah.
	This is...
	Okay.
	No threat.
	No threat.
	No threat whatsoever.
	No threat.
	Including nuclear annihilation.
	Woo!
	It's real!
	It's real!
	Alex Jones was there.
	Oh, my God.
	All right.
	Come on.
	We love it.
	2014 was the planet's warmest year on record.
	So I found this, which this is not really provable, although we had a vote in Senate.
	Did you follow this climate change is real and not a hoax vote?
	Yeah.
	Which is very...
	When you have to vote on something like that, you know something is really wrong.
	So this amendment passed by 98 to 1.
	The Republican Party went, yeah, it's real.
	It's just not man-made.
	But we're happy to say it's real.
	And then, of course, you know, there's so many...
	The statistics of 2000...
	Who was the one?
	Oh, it was a Republican.
	I'll tell you who it is.
	It's Hope, boy.
	Let me see.
	Who was the one?
	The one was Roger Wicker of...
	MS, Missouri?
	No, it's Weicker.
	Oh, Weicker.
	Could be Weicker.
	The guy that used to be in Connecticut was Weicker.
	So that just became kind of a farce.
	But seriously, this 2014 being the warmest year on record, they started in January.
	With this setting us up for 2014.
	And it was the warmest January ever.
	And then it was the warmest spring ever.
	It was the warmest during that global vortex.
	That was screwing everything up.
	But let's just ignore, ignore, ignore!
	Right.
	And we've received a number of very interesting emails.
	Did you get that one from the person who actually was involved in measurements?
	I don't know.
	I got a bunch of them.
	It was a bunch of these cynics that are out there.
	Read it.
	I'm sorry.
	I'm just looking for it real quick.
	I have a couple of pretty interesting ones that came in.
	I'll find it in a minute.
	Let me play the rest.
	I'll look for it while we're listening to this.
	I think this will come back to bite President Obama somewhere, somehow, probably in 25 years, but this is just blatantly not provable, this 2014 jargon.
	Now, one year doesn't make a trend, but this does.
	What?
	One year doesn't make a trend, but this does?
	Yep.
	One year doesn't make a trend.
	But this does.
	So not one year, but what he's about to say makes the trend.
	Oh, I see what he says.
	14 of the 15 warmest years on record have all fallen in the first 15 years of this century.
	I've heard some folks try to dodge the evidence by saying...
	By the way, folks is now just synonymous for Republicans.
	Folks.
	They're not scientists.
	Ah, not scientists.
	We don't have enough information to act.
	Well, I'm not a scientist either.
	But you know what?
	What are you lecturing us for?
	Because, well, he knows a lot of scientists.
	I know a lot of really good scientists.
	At NASA. And at NOAA. And at our major universities.
	And the best scientists in the world are all telling us that our activities are changing the climate.
	Forcefully, we'll continue to see rising oceans.
	Jake, I'm not a doctor and neither are you.
	Damn it, Jim.
	I'm a doctor, not a rocket scientist.
	Longer, hotter heat waves.
	Ah!
	Longer, hotter...
	Write it down.
	Put this in the book.
	This is his Red Book prediction.
	Longer, hotter heat waves.
	Like we're having right now in Austin.
	It's raining.
	Is this in floods?
	I mock because it's bullcrap.
	At NASA, and at NOAA, and at our major universities, and the best scientists in the world are all telling us that our activities are changing the climate.
	And if we don't act forcefully, we'll continue to see rising ocean.
	Is that even me?
	Rising ocean forcefully?
	We're going to beat you over the head.
	Longer, hotter heat waves.
	Dangerous droughts and floods.
	Dangerous droughts and floods.
	And massive disruptions that can trigger greater migration and conflict and hunger around the globe.
	We are so effed.
	I would say the State of the Union is in peril.
	Listen to this.
	You can't say the State of the Union is good.
	We have no agreement on climate change.
	We keep pushing it out.
	Nothing is going to happen, even with the Chinese, until 2020, which is meaningless, but okay.
	How can you say the state of the union is strong when we are under this cloud of doom?
	The Pentagon says that climate change poses immediate risks to our national security.
	Why?
	Like what?
	I don't know.
	We'll have to talk to the Pentagon about that.
	We should act like it.
	And that's why we've done more than ever to combat climate change from the way we produce energy to the way we use it.
	Right.
	Well, crap.
	Exactly.
	Yeah, one of our producers, he wants to remain anonymous, but he was involved in, let's call it a team, that looked at a lot of these measurements.
	He said, it is impossible to actually measure the global Earth temperature within any accuracy.
	Today, and certainly not in 1880, you really can't do it.
	He says the measurement devices by NASA, by NOAA, are claimed that one measurement device covers 1,200 square miles of temperature.
	I mean, all of these things that, you know, you can dispute it all you want.
	When people buy into it, then they'll never believe you.
	They'll just, you know, you're an idiot.
	The president said this.
	The president said this.
	Are you telling me you're smarter than NASA? I'm smarter than NOAA? There's no combating that.
	Those are political organizations.
	NASA? Pretty much.
	NASA's Goddard Institute.
	Here's another interesting one.
	In a press release on Friday, NASA's Goddard Institute for Space Studies claimed its analysis of world temperature showed 2014 was the warmest year on record.
	The claim made headlines around the world, of course, but yesterday, so this is two days ago, GIST's analysis, it turns out, was based on readings from more than 3,000 measuring stations worldwide, and it's subject to a margin of error.
	Yes.
	Are you ready for it?
	Yeah.
	I'm all ears.
	Okay.
	Here we go.
	The alleged record amounts to an increase over 2010, the previous warmest year ever in the history of all mankind, of just two hundredths of a degree, or that would be 0.02 degrees Celsius.
	The margin of error is approximately 0.1 degrees Celsius.
	That's like, how many times more is the margin of error than the actual rise in temperature?
	0.02 versus 0.1.
	That's not 100 or something.
	100-fold?
	Something.
	I can't.
	I have to write the numbers down, but it's at least 10-fold.
	As a result, GIS's director, Gavin Schmidt, now admits NASA thinks the likelihood 2014 was the warmest year since 1880 is really only 38% likely.
	What?
	Yeah.
	Now, how come this wasn't reported?
	Yeah.
	Well, you think the president's going to stand up there and say, it's 38% likely this was the warmest year on record?
	No, he's not going to say that.
	He's not going to say that.
	Well, how come they don't bring this up on the mainstream media?
	Why do you have to dig it up?
	I don't.
	I shouldn't have to do this.
	I should be able to sit at home eating bonbons.
	Exactly.
	You should be able to sit home, relax, and listen to people telling you the accurate truth instead of trying to scare you that the sky is falling.
	Bingo.
	Boom, boom, jackalack.
	Exactly.
	I think it's ridiculous that we have to do this show.
	Yeah, it really is ridiculous.
	This is from NASA's own information.
	I'm glad you caught that.
	It's hard when...
	Somebody sent it in.
	Did you catch it or somebody sent it in?
	Well, that one I got from the news feed.
	But a whole bunch of people have sent in information about the claim that this is the warmest year on record.
	And there's many articles.
	And we still have a number of listeners that refuse to think otherwise.
	Yeah, well, that's fine.
	I really like your show, except you guys are way off on the global warming problem.
	And you don't know crap about Muslims in Europe, either, while you're at it.
	Speaking of which, this was something that I've personally been following, and...
	I didn't really watch a lot of the pundits and analysis afterwards.
	I was just tired of it all.
	I want to say a couple of things.
	I tried to watch every one of the channels, as I always do, to compare who's doing what.
	I was feeling under the weather.
	I'm sorry.
	And MSNBC was the only one that was running a real-time, which is surprising, because I usually thought it would be CNN, but NBC had a little real-time chart of like, dislike, and those things.
	They had little like buttons on the screen?
	No, but you might as well.
	That would be next.
	So I thought that was creative.
	had the most interesting presentation because they had a little scoreboard on the left of the screen and then as he changed topics, there was a list of topics and it's like if you ever anyone watches one of our, you don't watch this, but it's ESPN.
	They have these reports and on the left hand side just where this ABC.
	It was telling you what's coming up next.
	It was telling you what's coming up next which is ABC and it owns the ESPN so they obviously somebody, hey, I got So they put this thing up.
	So as the president was talking, these little things would flip over, kind of, and change colors.
	And it would be like, oh, now he's going to talk about this.
	And they would usually predict it, because they had the script.
	Oh, they knew it before.
	The embargo was broken.
	They had cues.
	And when the cue, boom, it would flip.
	I thought that was kind of cool.
	Then the thing I noticed also, besides that every single feed, they obviously took the one feed and then they all processed it with their own sound guy.
	Right.
	Oh, okay.
	Big differences.
	Oh, huge differences.
	Which one, just take a guess, I'm not expecting you to get this, but which one of the feeds actually sounded by far the best?
	What are my choices?
	You have MSNBC, CNN, all the stations.
	You have ABC, NBC. Forget it.
	C-SPAN. No, not by a long shot.
	Then it would have to be...
	I say CNN does a pretty good job with their sound, typically.
	Yeah, it's not bad.
	PBS, way better than anybody else.
	Whoever's doing the sound at PBS is just a...
	Kudos.
	Kudos, engineer.
	Kudos, engineer.
	It was actually...
	Hey, engineer, get off that groupie.
	I'm sending down a 5K ring.
	Ready for me?
	And everyone else was tinny or they were shrill.
	It was just really crappy.
	And then the one thing I noticed that I'd never noticed quite before, and I didn't know why this was going on or what the deal was, but there were two distinct feeds.
	Not two different cameras.
	I mean, two distinct feeds that were...
	And CNN used...
	CNN, I think, maybe we didn't subscribe to the pool.
	Of course they subscribe to the pool.
	They weren't using any pool resource.
	Hmm.
	Okay.
	They were using an overhead shot that looked like the, like the built in camera in the house.
	Yes.
	You have there all the time.
	They seem to be using that.
	I didn't think they were, they weren't using none of the pool shots at all.
	As I was watching the preamble to all this, I kind of felt that the way we feel about the white house correspondence dinner, which we always kind of miss and we don't set it up right.
	I feel that with these types of events, We should be doing the red carpet commentary live while watching this because the fashion changed.
	You know, we have pink now is like kind of the new color.
	It's not just red anymore.
	Elizabeth Warren is in bright blue.
	She was in blue, yeah, the big blue beast.
	That's a blue, that's a fall fashion color blue.
	It's a very bright blue.
	I don't remember the name of it.
	But that's what it is.
	And that's what Elizabeth Warren was wearing.
	Hold on a second.
	Okay, let's see.
	I just want to go up to her and say, who are you wearing?
	Let me see.
	Elizabeth Warren.
	What, JCPenney's?
	Beautiful.
	Beautiful outfit.
	Let me see.
	Elizabeth Warren had this cobalt blue that was the site.
	I'm trying to see if I can find what it was.
	Who made it?
	Oh, nobody made it.
	She made it or she sold it.
	That was couture.
	Everybody's in couture.
	No, no, no.
	They got bad taste.
	It looks like homegrown stuff.
	I'll find out.
	I'm going to find out who did her dress.
	This is a big deal, these dresses.
	You understand how this works.
	Somebody said to us, well, you know, if you guys are going to do it, one of our artists actually made some art for us to do this idea of yours, which we're never going to do, I might add, just to make sure.
	Just so you know.
	Nobody wants to waste their time on art for this.
	And I'll tell you, one of the things somebody did try to do, what you just described, it was the blaze.
	Oh, they tried to do a red carpet thing?
	They tried to do a Space Mystery Theater 3000 thing.
	So they have boneheads at the blaze sitting in front of a big giant monitor.
	And they're just interrupting everything.
	You can't hear the speech.
	Obama would say something, and one of the guys would go, that's a lie!
	It's a lie!
	Yeah, it's a lie, Bill!
	It's a lie!
	It's a lie!
	It's a lie, Stu!
	I just want to do the red carpet.
	I'm not interested in anything else.
	Let me play this clip now.
	This is the one that I've been following, and I did not see a lot of analysis in hindsight.
	I haven't heard a lot of people talking about it, but we discussed it when John F. Carey went to the Senate to request this.
	In Iraq.
	In Syria, American leadership, including our military power, is stopping ISIL's advance.
	Instead of getting dragged into another ground war in the Middle East, we are leading a broad coalition, including Arab nations, to degrade and ultimately destroy this terrorist group.
	We're also supporting a moderate opposition in Syria that can help us in this effort.
	And assisting people everywhere who stand up to the bankrupt ideology of violent extremism.
	Bankrupt, bankrupt.
	Now this effort will take time.
	I love how he does it.
	This effort will take time.
	He's almost channeling Clinton here.
	This effort will take time.
	It will take some time.
	Why will it take some time?
	Do we suck as a military?
	It'll take time.
	It'll take time.
	He's almost crying.
	Listen to me, it's going to take some time.
	It will require focus.
	Focus.
	Focus?
	Focus?
	What does that mean?
	If we're not focused on this...
	This doesn't mean anything.
	If we're not focused on this degrade and ultimately destroy by now, then we've got to focus.
	But we will succeed.
	We will succeed.
	You hear that?
	What is that?
	You can pick that up by just hanging around in Washington, D.C., I think.
	Because Bush, it sounds like Bush, too.
	It does.
	We will succeed!
	We will succeed!
	And tonight I call on this Congress to show the world that we are united in this mission...
	To kill people!
	...by passing a resolution to authorize the use of force against ISIS. Yeah!
	We need...
	Yeah!
	Yeah!
	...not authority.
	Bomb them.
	Yeah!
	And bomb them again.
	We need to kill them.
	That's right.
	Kill them!
	We need to kill them.
	So we looked at this AMUF for...
	Well, John Kerry asked for AMUF for DASH. And the President is talking about ISIL. And the news media calls it ISIS. But no matter what, that's why it's going to be very broad.
	And the authorization for military use of force is to be able to kill anybody anywhere in the world authorized by Congress.
	It truly is that broad.
	These guys are everywhere.
	Why should the President have all the fun?
	Exactly.
	But just imagine what that really means.
	That is the United States Congress, the people of America, giving authorization to the president, because that is his authorization at that point.
	We give it to him to kill anybody we deem to be an enemy combatant anywhere in the world.
	That's how broad this is.
	And it doesn't matter if you're Dash.
	By the way, feel bad for the Kardashian girls with their Dash stores.
	Did you know?
	The clothing stores are called Dash.
	Well, we always knew they were terrorists.
	They fired their publicists recently.
	And then the president slips in this little note, which is literally called a notice.
	But it's something he has to do legally, and I think they're late actually on doing this, but here it comes.
	Continuation of the national emergency with respect to terrorists who threaten to disrupt the Middle East peace process.
	So we need to continue our state of emergency.
	And this stems back to 1995, Executive Order 129047, the President declared a national emergency pursuant to the international emergency economic powers to deal with the unusual and extraordinary threat to the national security, foreign policy, and economy of the United States constituted by grave acts of violence committed by foreign terrorists that disrupt the Middle East peace process.
	I did not know about this executive order, and of course it's been amended with Executive Order 1309 or Niner, an annex to 129 or 47 to identify four additional persons who threatened to disrupt the Middle East process.
	That was back in 98.
	I didn't look up those four persons, but you can bet this fun.
	Anyway, these terrorist activities continue to threaten the Middle East peace process.
	No, John Kerry threatened the Middle East peace process by fucking it up.
	But okay.
	Well, maybe they should target him.
	Yeah.
	Not much of a target.
	It's easy pickings.
	That head.
	To pose an unusual and extraordinary threat to the national security, foreign policy, and economy of the United States.
	For this reason, the national emergency declared on January 23, 1995...
	Oh, I guess it was right on time.
	And the measures adopted to deal with that emergency must continue in effect beyond January 23rd, 2015.
	So the president extends that now for one year, the national emergency with respect to foreign terrorists who threatened to disrupt the Middle East peace process.
	And that does give him some continuation of authorization for use of military force.
	But they really want to codify this into something that can just keep on going forever.
	As an American citizen, I'm kind of outraged about that, and I don't want that to happen.
	I don't want our president to have that kind of power, because clearly, he doesn't know what to do with it.
	Killing Americans.
	I sound like Fox now, but shit, it's so true.
	Ugh.
	Well, Fox is kind of ambivalent about these things because they're the war model.
	Yeah, they love it.
	They actually love it.
	Yeah, I know.
	That's the sad thing.
	They like being able to shoot that poor kid in the cafe or at the barbecue now.
	And then there was this Rebecca, or this is the controversy.
	So the president called, I don't have a clip of it, He's, you know, he had people who had written to him.
	Remember, the president reads 10 letters every night before he goes to bed.
	Yeah, no, he had just one woman up in the state, up in the audience.
	With Michelle.
	With Michelle, with Michelle.
	With Michelle, with the first lady.
	Where was her husband?
	Rebecca Erler is her name.
	And the president talked about, you know, how, you know, just getting by, about her struggles.
	And it turns out she actually was a field organizer for the Democratic Party, basically.
	What?
	Yeah, she's been uncovered as being an operative in the Democratic Party.
	That's funny.
	So this is just bullcrap.
	It's a setup, yeah, of course.
	And where was her husband?
	I did that, I don't know.
	She was there talking about her and her husband, her and her husband, her and her husband.
	The husband wasn't there.
	Ah, we don't need you.
	We only got one seat.
	Oh, well, that's very possible.
	And he wasn't an operative, I guess.
	So that was just another scam.
	But I think she even met the president a year ago.
	I'm just trying to find that in this article.
	Very disappointing.
	It is disappointing.
	I mean, there's a million good stories out there and you have to use one of your, you know, do it as a political favor.
	It's like ludicrous.
	And then we had that big block of cheese day.
	Oh, yeah.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	You're on that.
	You're the reporter for this.
	Yeah, of course this is a tradition that goes...
	There's no cheese involved, I understand.
	Well, it's worse.
	To be cool and happening and hip, they had a big block of feta cheese.
	Well, that's cheese.
	Yeah, but it's not...
	The tradition is government cheese, that's where it comes from, and it's cheddar.
	Oh, yeah, that's right.
	It's like all of a sudden for...
	That's like...
	That's for the...
	That's...
	No.
	Fed is no good.
	That's for the liberal elite.
	Elites!
	Yes!
	Yeah.
	Oh, some very nice Fed.
	Is it Bulgarian, perhaps?
	So in 1837, President Andrew Jackson had a 1,400-pound block of cheese hauled into the main foyer of the White House for an open house with thousands of citizens and his staff where they discussed the issues of the day while carving off slabs of cheddar.
	The government cheese.
	That's where it comes from.
	This year, we aim...
	Listen to the wording of this.
	It's so cutesy, I threw up in my mouth.
	This year, we aim to do even feta.
	Oh yeah.
	I saw what you did there.
	Somebody, Chase Busco Jr.
	read this at the dinner table.
	Let me read it at our dinner table.
	It's very, very lame.
	On Wednesday, January 21st, in fromage to President Jackson, we're hosting the second annual virtual Big Block of Cheese Day, where members of the Obama administration will take to social media to answer your questions about the President's State of the Union and the issues that are most important to you.
	Logging to Twitter, Facebook, etc., etc.
	And VJ44 was helping out there with the answers, and so was Dr.
	Biden and FETA. I don't like the cutesy stuff.
	Yeah, I know.
	I really don't like that.
	You don't.
	You don't have a cutesy bone in your body.
	I'm really nodding on the cutesy stuff.
	I think that kind of wraps up the statement.
	While you were doing this, this agonizing analysis...
	Are you slamming me, bro?
	So, here we go.
	So, I'm watching this.
	I did do some other things.
	Did you catch the Brzezinski-Skowcroft thing?
	Oh, I have the clips for that.
	Of course I do.
	I only have two clips because I don't want to play these clips.
	And you can play some deeper clips.
	I think we must have the same clips.
	Well, I got...
	Oh, yeah?
	Yeah, we must.
	The way it starts off...
	First of all, let me get back up a little bit and give some people some background on the C-SPAN. It was one of the Armed Forces hearings on the...
	It was presumably about sequestration, but it was actually a wide-ranging discussion.
	Yeah, some cyber discussion.
	With Brett Skolcroft, who is senile.
	Yeah.
	And he's 89, and then Zig Brzezinski.
	Zbigniew Brzezinski, who is smiling.
	He smiles like a maniac.
	Yeah, well, he's also looking at Skullcroft and realizing that Skullcroft is only three years older than Big.
	Zbig.
	Zbig.
	Mr.
	Zbig.
	And so he's three years older because Brzezinski is 86 and Skullcrups is 89.
	And he's looking at him saying to him, I know what he's doing because when you get over 50 you start doing this.
	Am I going to be like that when I'm 89?
	I haven't started doing that yet, but thank you for the setup.
	You'll start to do that.
	Because he's looking, and for example, here, out of the blue, I swear, out of the blue, I've got this one clip.
	Skullcroft, let's see, which one is it?
	On nuclear?
	You've got to play this.
	It's just out of the blue, he throws this out.
	I think the U.S. should consider establishing a nuclear fuel bank.
	Where states can check out fuel for reactors, return it after it has been used, and thus avoid what could be almost endless I
	think we also need to look carefully at how the world is changing And what we can do to assist that change to produce a better, not a worse world.
	One of the big challenges in this world is cyber.
	Like he knows.
	I'm not.
	No, he actually says he doesn't.
	Intellectually capable.
	Of breathing.
	Of dealing with the cyber issue.
	But it is a worldwide issue.
	And as I say, could be.
	I'll believe whatever they say.
	Oh, listen.
	No, no, no.
	Listen.
	As dangerous as nuclear weapons.
	And there is no control anywhere about it.
	It's as dangerous as nuclear weapons, John.
	Cyber.
	By the way, I want to throw something back just to give you a quick observation.
	I forgot to mention this.
	During the State of the Union speech, Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, did you catch this?
	She conked out.
	No, I didn't see that.
	So they had the camera on, the justices who's there, and she's nodding off, and she leans forward, and she just, she falls asleep, and then she was there out, like a light.
	So they did everything, the whole time.
	So they tried to keep the camera off the Supreme Court.
	Wasn't there somebody, didn't someone just elbow her or something?
	No, I was surprised they didn't.
	But maybe she's fallen asleep before and got mad.
	Or maybe she screams when you elbow her.
	You don't need that.
	Now I'm mad because I almost clipped it and I decided not to because it was Rachel Maddow.
	But she said Rachel Maddow said Ruth Ginsburg.
	What's her name?
	Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
	And whose nickname is Kiki, by the way.
	Ah!
	The nickname Rachel Maddow used was...
	The original RBG. Like, she's a rapper now.
	Oh, please.
	The OG RBG. The original Gangsta.
	Because, you know, she's standing up for it.
	Oh, yeah.
	She probably snores.
	Anyway, back to this.
	Now, at the beginning of this hearing, they had the two guys sitting kind of in the audience, and then they were going on and on, and then they had to bring them up to sit down.
	They didn't go under oath or anything.
	They just sat down and started yakking.
	Mm-hmm.
	It took forever to get them to figure out that they should get out of these other chairs and go up by the microphones.
	And this became kind of like a contentious thing.
	They couldn't get either one of them to talk at the beginning.
	It was like trying to start an old car.
	With a hand crank.
	With a hand crank.
	And so McCain...
	This is a clip that says McCain, Scowcroft, BRZ. Oh, hold on a second.
	McCain had to do this.
	And then there was a snide comment made.
	Hold on.
	If you both would take seats and proceed however you choose to speak first, it's a fine... ...lipicor. it's a fine... ...lipicor.
	Flip a coin?
	Well, who's oldest?
	I agree.
	That's funny.
	Who went to a real college?
	That's funny.
	That was Scowcroft who said, who went to a real college?
	Where did he go?
	But then I looked it up.
	Well, uh, Zbig, Zbig, Zbig, Zbig.
	He went to, uh, that, uh, I went to the college that was very good.
	He went to Harvard and that school up in Toronto.
	I went to Harvard and I know how to kill people.
	And the other guy went to, uh, Skokoff went to West Point and Columbia.
	I went to West Point.
	I'm sorry.
	I don't get what the joke was.
	Maybe McCain didn't go to a real college.
	Where did he, where did he go?
	I don't think that was about McCain, but let's find out.
	Yeah, I'm interested now.
	Yeah, it's always kind of interesting.
	Zabig.
	Zabig.
	That's what they kept calling him up there.
	Why does he get to be...
	Why?
	It was mysterious.
	John McCain, where's your wiki page?
	There it is.
	We need to play the jingle.
	Whoa!
	There you go.
	Alright.
	Okay.
	I don't think he went to a college at all.
	Maybe not.
	University of Phoenix.
	He's from Arizona, isn't he?
	That's where he went.
	I mean, that's where he...
	It's like getting an honorary degree from the University of Phoenix.
	There is a line somebody could use.
	There is an actual building.
	Oh, yeah.
	I've been there.
	I've been there.
	It's like me saying, I graduated from the Connecticut School of Broadcasting, which I did.
	I have the certificate right here.
	Honorary.
	You keep the certificate right by your gear?
	It's hanging on the wall.
	I have my Adam Curry Skip Barber completion of my driving course at Lime Rock.
	I had my invitation from Hillary Clinton to the White House, which I didn't go to.
	I had my invitation from the Queen to the palace.
	You didn't go to the White House?
	No.
	This came in in MTV days, and the a-holes kept it at the office and didn't send it down to the studio to my mailbag until it was too late.
	Oh, we're sorry.
	I have no evidence that I ever went to school.
	Onward.
	Yeah, please.
	Okay, what next?
	This is the big stuff.
	Did you get the...
	Oh, yeah, and I got the...
	The only thing that was...
	I do have one's a big...
	I have a different's a big, then.
	Good.
	I have him talking about how he was...
	McCain was a little annoyed by these two guys, besides the fact that this went on for three hours of guys talking real slow and boring.
	Yeah.
	Because Zbigniew was definitely against boots on the ground, and I think Scowcroft was too, and they were not going to put up with any more boots on the ground.
	And this Brzezinski on China and Russia, I think, was the only good quote that I could find that I thought was not deadly dull and could be tolerated on the show.
	Avoid universalizing the current conflict in Europe into a worldwide collision with Russia.
	That's an important point.
	It is both in America's and in Russia's interest that the escalating violence in the Middle East does not get out of hand.
	Containing it is also in China's long-range interest.
	Otherwise, regional violence is likely to spread northward into Russia, Don't forget, there are some 20 million Muslims living in Russia.
	And northeastward into Central Asia, eventually even to Xinjiang, to the direct detriment both of Russia and China.
	America, Russia, and China should therefore jointly consult about how they can best support The more moderate Middle East states in pursuing either a political or a military solution.
	This is not the clip I had, but I took this to be a veiled, thinly veiled threat.
	The way I hear him is, China, you really don't want terrorists, do you?
	Which we control.
	Did you not take it that way?
	No.
	Let me listen.
	I can accept that analysis.
	Let me listen to my clip.
	This is the clip where it's also, let me see, it's about, it's really about China and China's cyber capabilities, which is, I focused on this as a cyber event, really.
	I think these guys were called up just to say, oh, cyber nuclear, oh, cyber China, just to get everyone else, oh, these, man, they know what they're talking about, even if they say they don't.
	And this was accompanied by some proposals to changes in the existing rules, which I have ready.
	But let's listen to Zabig, who was absolutely smiling and laughing.
	You have to see the video.
	It's in the show notes.
	You can find a link to it.
	Like, he just needed a white pussy to stroke.
	So far as China is concerned, I think probably the Chinese have some Genuine interest from the standpoint of the enhancement of their international power in the acquisition of cyber capabilities of a confrontational
	type.
	I don't want to over-exaggerate this, and I'm searching for words that...
	He's smiling.
	I don't want to over-exaggerate how crazy they can get those Chinese.
	Do not create some impression of a human danger.
	Oh, but you are.
	Well, he just kind of says that.
	Yeah.
	So I don't want to over-exaggerate, but I can't fully express how fearful I am that this will happen.
	Yeah.
	A military strategic history.
	It's the notion that you don't prepare to fight your opponent at that given stage of weaponry.
	You should write down confrontational cyber.
	Write that down.
	It could be a title.
	You leapfrog, and then you engage in some offensive activity.
	Okay, so he just said, is this the art of war?
	Is that what he's quoting here?
	I don't know.
	Let's listen to it again.
	You leapfrog.
	Because some of our military folks are going to be able to tell us what this is for.
	Stage of weaponry.
	So he's talking about this stage of weaponry.
	You don't engage, now you leapfrog.
	At that given stage of weaponry, you leapfrog, and then you engage in some offensive activity.
	Okay.
	I'm concerned that the Chinese may feel that they cannot surpass us in the nuclear area.
	And note at their very, very significant nuclear restraint in terms of nuclear deployments.
	There's hardly any nuclear weapons really targeted on us.
	We have many times over nuclear weapons targeted on China.
	He's smiling.
	We have many times over.
	He's smiling.
	Big smile.
	He's sitting up straight.
	His shoulders are square.
	We have many.
	We have many, many more nuclear capabilities than China.
	We can't kill them.
	But the cyber issue may pose, at least at this stage only theoretically, but at some point really, the possibility of paralyzing an opponent entirely.
	Paralyzing, John.
	They could paralyze us.
	Without killing anybody.
	Without killing anybody.
	This is continuing the mythos of the cyber being able to shut down the banks and shut down the power grid and shut down everything.
	Without killing anybody.
	Without killing anybody.
	There was even somebody discussing how they can shut down, they really want to screw people up, shut down the sewage treatment plant.
	Now, I don't know how you...
	Why the sewage treatment plant would be online in such a way that you could shut it down is the mysterious part of all these arguments.
	But okay.
	But it gets interesting in a minute.
	Let me just finish up this.
	But this is exactly...
	When I was a kid, I get to say it now.
	When I was a kid growing up, we had exactly the opposite.
	The threat was the neutron bomb, which would...
	Not, you know, paralyzed without killing anybody.
	It was the opposite.
	It would kill everybody without destroying the buildings.
	Do you remember that?
	Oh, yeah.
	This was great.
	Like, oh, okay, that sounds pretty good.
	You know, you could just kill everybody, but then the buildings...
	They should stink.
	Without killing anybody.
	Without killing anybody.
	I don't want to kill anybody anymore.
	That could be a very tempting solution for a nation which is, of course, increasingly significant economically, but does realize that there is an enormous military disparity between China and us.
	And that, I think, suggests that we have to be far more Inclined to raise those issues with the Chinese, which we have done to some extent, but even more important, to engage in deterrence by having a capability to respond effectively or to prevent an attempt from being successful.
	Okay, so along with this, and it's not coincidence, we have a document that the White House released I have a clip of this.
	Do you know what document I refer to?
	Is this referring to the North Korean hack?
	This is the updated administrative proposal for law enforcement provisions for cyber.
	Oh no, this is different.
	Go on.
	Okay.
	The changes to existing laws, and the idea here, this is, it really is quite interesting, because the way this is set out, this actually becomes law, and this is a proposal from the administration.
	You can get arrested for almost anything.
	So first of all, Section 101, and I forget which...
	Just like the Soviet Union!
	Even better.
	So what they want to do is put cybercrime under RICO laws, racketeering.
	So prosecuting organized crime groups that utilize cyber attacks.
	Racketeering activity, which in the new definition, any act which is indictable under any of the following provisions of Title 18.
	And here's the change.
	Section 1030, relating to fraud and related activity in connection with computers.
	If the act indictable under Section 1030 is felonious.
	Then we get into some of the felonious acts.
	Laundering of monetary instruments.
	Section 2512, relating to the manufacture, distribution, possession, and advertising of wire, oral, or electronic communication intercepting devices will now be illegal.
	NSA.
	Confiscation of wire, oral, or electronic communication interception devices and other property.
	So if you have any of these, which could be...
	Stingray.
	Yeah.
	So in other words, the cops can break the law?
	Of course.
	This is why it's a law.
	Citizens can't do this.
	Well, no, the cops are supposed to abide by the same laws as the citizens.
	So if you are caught with any type of, even orals, that means if you're recording someone, Wire, oral, or electronic communication interception devices.
	So if I am recording you...
	So I have my cell phone, which has, I use, there's a really good call, I think it's AndRecord.
	Yeah, it records forever with its shut off.
	Just put a little button, you hit the button, it starts recording all your conversations, and you need this sometimes when you're doing negotiations.
	I didn't tell you I'd do that.
	Yeah, you did.
	Here it is.
	So that now will be illegal.
	I cannot protect myself, is what you're telling me.
	I cannot protect myself by recording casual conversations that happen to be in a negotiation mode, let's say.
	Well, the way I read it is this is an oral communications interception device.
	My phone.
	And if you use that information...
	or there's a number of other things.
	In fact, if you use, let's say, I'll put it here.
	Here's an example.
	Having read this document, I think I could argue the case that if you use that, an oral recording device to eavesdrop on Mimi and get her Facebook password through that recording and you then log into her account, then you can...
	It's 20 years in jail.
	Okay.
	Let's say that's true.
	I go along with the 20 years in jail.
	So in other words, now what you're telling me, based on my recording Mimi's discussions...
	There is a caveat.
	Parents cannot look at what their children are doing online.
	There's a caveat.
	Okay, is that what it is?
	No, the caveat is that the damage from whatever you did is $5,000 or more, which is pretty low.
	Now, I don't think you're going to damage your kid or your wife for $5,000.
	Depending on circumstances.
	But that is the level.
	If you do anything to somebody in this manner that results in damages, $5,000 or above.
	It has to result in damages?
	So if I'm recording a negotiation with my end recorder, there's no damages.
	So, here we go.
	So, Section 103, Modernizing the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act.
	This is a U.S. Code 181030.
	Here's what they're talking about.
	Fraud and related activity in connection with computers.
	Whoever, A, intentionally accesses a protected computer without authorization...
	NSA! And thereby obtains information from any such protected computer or intentionally exceeds authorized access to a protected computer.
	Hello, dude's name, Ben.
	And thereby obtains information from such computer.
	And the value of the information obtained exceeds $5,000...
	Then you have committed an offense, furtherance of any felony violation of the laws of the United States.
	So if you're an admin, but you override some admin authority and look into something else and there is damages from that, you are toast.
	Damage is if you shut up about it.
	Sure.
	Or if you knowingly and willfully traffic in any password or similar information or any other means of access, knowing or having reason to know that a protected computer would be accessed or damaged without authorization in a manner prohibited by this section, as the result of such trafficking...
	You can be punished as provided for the complete offense, as mentioned in the subsection I just talked about.
	The fine under this title or imprisonment for not more than 20 years.
	It's just a spit in the bucket.
	This puts sysadmins in a very, very...
	How about whitehacking?
	You can't even do that anymore.
	You can't do it without everyone knowing exactly what you're doing.
	I think trafficking and passwords...
	These are very, very stringent rules.
	And it's clearly aimed at sysadmins.
	And I think this does stem from the obvious inside job at Sony.
	Well, let's go to that.
	Okay.
	Let me see if I... Anything else that was...
	I mean, there's forfeiture stuff in here.
	It's only 11 pages.
	It's in the show notes.
	It's marked up.
	Take a look at it.
	What is your...
	You got a Sony...
	More lies about the Sony hack.
	Okay...
	It carried out the hack on Sony Pictures was based on evidence it gathered from its own hacking of North Korea.
	The New York Times reports the National Security Agency began penetrating North Korea's networks in 2010 and planted malware to monitor activities.
	Meanwhile, a report in the German newspaper Der Spiegel, based on documents from NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden, outlines how the United States is engaging in extensive preparations for an online guerrilla war which, quote, threatens to transform the Internet into a lawless zone in which superpowers and their secret services operate according to their own whims with very few ways to hold them accountable for their actions.
	Then let me tie right in with this.
	Edward Snowden was interviewed by the Dutch public broadcaster for their news, for News Hour, the public broadcaster, which is kind of like the BBC, only different.
	And they went to Moscow, they interviewed him, and he was wearing his trademark glasses still with a missing nose pad, which he puts on only for the interview because he is brand Snowden, obviously.
	And they asked him, hey, how are the Dutch intelligence services doing?
	Now, we've talked about the Dutch intelligence services quite often.
	As far as I know, they have the most wiretaps on their citizens of anyone in the world.
	Which is strange for such a small country.
	But really...
	They're still looking for the bicycle.
	And Snowden, who could know what they're like, laid down this, which is just...
	The Dutch...
	I don't know.
	They don't care.
	The Dutch people don't care.
	The people who are awake in Holland who care, really care.
	Vanwege zijn achtergrond is Snowden met de Nederlandse diensten goed bekend.
	That was a little intro.
	Because of his background, Snowden is very familiar with the Dutch intelligence services.
	How does the American Intel world look at the Dutch?
	How does the American Intel world look at the Dutch services?
	What reputation do they have?
	European intelligence services have a very good relationship with U.S. intelligence services as a general rule.
	The Dutch relationship as sort of the surveillance kings of Europe are obviously quite comfortable.
	Surveillance kings of Europe, I'd like to point out.
	Yeah, I like that.
	Surveillance kings of Europe.
	Quite close.
	Because that means they're not just spying on the Dutch, they're spying on their neighbors.
	...to the NSA. However, the reputation of the Dutch services in the working level, the actual intelligence agencies, you know, the people there, they don't have the same respect that other services might get.
	For example, the French intelligence services are extraordinarily sophisticated.
	They're one of the only services that CIA officers operating in Europe actually fear in counterintelligence terms.
	Did you know that?
	No.
	I've never heard this.
	That's news to me.
	That's news to me as well, yeah.
	Things like that.
	They're very aggressive and they're very good.
	The Dutch services, in comparison, are seen more as subordinates.
	They sort of work for the American services.
	They aren't seen as sort of having independent policies on their own.
	They really sort of do what we tell them.
	I think the term is being a bitch, I think is the term.
	Stooge is probably a morgue.
	U.S. intelligence services don't value the Dutch for their capabilities.
	They value them for their accesses.
	They value them for their geography.
	They value them for the fact that they have cables and satellites and sort of a vantage point that enables them to spy on their neighbors and others in the region in a unique way.
	And by taking advantage of that, the NSA can use their capabilities to a greater advantage relative to if they did not have that part.
	And they never complain.
	They're loyal allies.
	Right, in general, yeah.
	Yeah, they're very loyal.
	Loyal allies.
	Good work, Dutch!
	Good work, everybody!
	Yay!
	Perfect!
	Just don't take our bicycles.
	And I just wanted to play this.
	I know you saw this.
	Of course, we've been tracking the total lack of respect for any type of information technology, engineering, management, systems, administrators.
	Most people really...
	In fact, the president...
	God, this pissed me off.
	When he said, you could be a coder.
	Let me tell you something.
	Software developers, application developers, don't like being called coders.
	I don't know who told you that was a good idea, Mr.
	President, but coders, it's just one step of a podcaster.
	It's like coders, podcasters.
	So the disdain is obvious.
	I think his first name may have been Ben.
	A guy named Ben, a dude named Ben.
	Dude named Ben, no.
	Many times people will say to us, wow man, the people over at that show must be listening to you guys.
	Oh, someone's obviously listened to you on...
	This is one of the first times that I've received a clip that I believe one of the writers on this show might actually have listened to the show, picked this up, and put this in for us.
	You heard the clip.
	Do you agree?
	You have the clip?
	Yeah, I have it.
	We'll play it right.
	This is from The Mentalist.
	Do you remember anybody else who was there?
	A woman named Vicky, I think.
	And a dude named Ben.
	You said there was somebody there that you were afraid of.
	Come on!
	Yeah, I heard it.
	It's a possibility.
	We do have some writers in the Writers Guild that listen to the show and once in a while they try to throw us a bone.
	And that is a possibility that one of the guys in the writers room threw that in.
	I got an idea.
	Let's put a dude named Ben in there.
	That's funny.
	It's possible.
	It's the closest that anyone's come, as far as I can tell.
	I agree.
	And with that, John, I'd like to thank you for your courage and say in the morning to you, John C. Dvorak.
	Well, in the morning to you, Adam Curry.
	In the morning, all the ships of sea boots on the ground, feeding the air, subs in the water, and all the names of knights out there.
	Where the C stands for coder.
	In the morning to everyone in the chat room, noagintestream.com.
	In the morning there, Void Zero.
	Keeping an eye on all the machines.
	And in the morning to our artists, Martin JJ came in again.
	This is two in a row for Martin J.J., I believe, with the album art for episode 688.
	We always look forward to what your contributions will be at noartgenerator.com.
	It's a big part of the success of this show.
	So often, after every show, I upload everything, and then I have a standard thing on my iPod Touch.
	I'll go to the podcast app, and I can see, you know, did the art change?
	Is the show loading?
	Then I know that everything is fine.
	And it's so nice to see, I have maybe 8 or 10 podcasts in my list, and our art is always different.
	The other art is, I think it makes a difference.
	You mean the other art on other podcasts?
	It's just stagnant art?
	Yeah.
	Oh, yeah.
	That doesn't change.
	That never changes?
	Because they just have one thing.
	So if you look at the art, you don't know what is this show that you were looking for.
	It's just a crappy one-time art.
	Well, there's two ways to look at it.
	One is there's high recognition if you're looking at your list.
	Oh, there's the podcast, you know, because it looks like it has whatever it has on it.
	Ours are stylized, so they're very recognizable.
	It says no agenda big time.
	Mm-hmm.
	Yeah.
	That works.
	I don't know of any podcast that I can think of that changes its album art, but also...
	Wait a minute.
	So you're talking about three hours of material, which is a short essay, long books, you know, if you were books on tape.
	This is like buying books on tape from audio doc, whatever they are.
	Audible.
	Audible.
	and every book has the same cover is what it would be like.
	Yeah, that's a good point.
	Or if you went to buy a Rolling Stones album because there's about, what, 45 minutes worth of material on a Rolling Stones album and every Rolling Stones album cover was identical.
	Why don't you say Green Day?
	I mean, seriously.
	Green Day.
	It's only normal, it seems to me, that every show would have a distinctive and different cover, because every show is different.
	Just like the record albums.
	Yes.
	What are these other people doing?
	Well, it's hard.
	Well, there's your answer.
	It's very hard, and if you don't have the model that we use, which is complete audience-supported, which we call our audience producers, Who literally help us produce the product they want by steering us in topics, by steering us in information, by steering us in a whole bunch of things.
	Memes, ideas, huge bags.
	Here's how it works.
	If you want to do this on a podcast that takes advertising, the artist is going to say, yeah, that's great, but you should pay me.
	The love is not the same.
	Because you are selling that art and the audience that enjoys it, you're selling it to advertisers.
	You're making that for advertisers and not for the listeners.
	Does that make sense?
	Yeah.
	Yeah, alright.
	No, I think our model's fantastic, and I like the idea of having different art.
	Although, if you look at...
	I think there was an article, was it maybe Forbes?
	Like, talking about how much money's being made in podcasts.
	And at WNYC, which I think is the NPR station in New York...
	They said, well, it made 20% of their revenue, they said, was from podcasts.
	But of course, what they failed to mention in the article is that the revenue is for actual advertisements in the podcast, not just a sponsorship.
	It's an actual advertisement.
	And this is a big problem for the overall NPR organization because that money is very localized, not going nationally.
	And conversely, the national shows, when they do a podcast and take advertising, the local stations don't get money.
	It's not going to work out for them.
	It doesn't work.
	You've bitched about this since they've been attempting to repurpose.
	Yeah.
	It's the old problem with the cable TV stations and going online.
	Yeah.
	They have these issues.
	What is it called?
	There's some term for it.
	It's crazy.
	First line of refusal?
	No, it's first.
	First look?
	I'll think of it later.
	First out of the gate?
	We can't take...
	We were at Tech TV. Tech TV! We can't tell Paul Allen.
	Screwed everybody.
	Everybody's bitching.
	Why don't we put this stuff online?
	We get more viewers because nobody's watching this.
	This is where I get to tell you my story.
	I was asked to do...
	I think you were there.
	The pilot, it was a whole weekend for CNET. This was Halsey Minor and Kevin Wendell who had helped set up the original Fox Network when they were still on air.
	And these guys, oh, this is going to be a great TV show.
	And I said, well, you know, shall I just register CNET.com?
	Because you guys don't seem to have that.
	And I think that this might be a bigger online one day.
	And they're like, oh, yeah, okay, whatever.
	And I was forwarding their email to Halsey Minor and Kevin Wendell for months.
	And then one day I said, oh, yeah, can we have that domain?
	Yeah, sure you can.
	They should have given me a little bit of stock or something.
	That would have been nice, but no.
	No.
	No, of course not.
	A-holes.
	Favored nations.
	There you go.
	Favored nations.
	Right.
	I don't know why it's called favored nations, but that's what it's called.
	And what it refers to is that if you have a cable company locally that is picking up your feed, you cannot give it away on the internet.
	Or you can't give it to some competitor or something.
	Is that an FCC regulation, do you think?
	I'm not sure who does that.
	No, FCC doesn't regulate cable.
	I should know, but I don't.
	Alright, so our model is we have people support the program through pure donations, and we do pull that into somewhat of a Hollywood model, which always works.
	There's no reason why, if you're producing our show, you shouldn't be able to call yourself a producer, certainly an executive producer or associate executive producer.
	You always get the credits up front in the program.
	So this is not quite, you know, we come in like 45 minutes.
	But it is thanking these executive producers specifically for putting this show on the air.
	And people like to use these titles, these credits, to pick up chicks.
	Ha!
	Oh, wait, I was too early.
	Sorry.
	Let's start with our first...
	Let's start with some thanks.
	Thanks to our executive and associate executive producers for show...
	What is the show number?
	689.
	689er.
	I'm not at the top of the spreadsheet anymore.
	I don't either.
	I just have...
	689.
	689er.
	Sir Duane Melanson, the Duke of the Pacific Northwest in Tigard, Oregon.
	3, 4, 5, 6, 7.
	Nice number.
	ITM, Duke of the Pacific Northwest.
	I had a dinner meeting with Sir Gene Earl of Texas.
	Where?
	They were in Oregon.
	I think they were up near Port Angeles.
	No.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Port Angeles is in northern Washington.
	I'm sorry.
	I'm sorry.
	I didn't mean to say that.
	Hold on.
	I can tell exactly where they were.
	Okay, where?
	Hold on a second.
	I gotta look.
	Yeah, I'll finish reading while you look.
	As the only sheriff in our lands, he asked me for my aid, and I must obey.
	What?
	No, he should be obeying you.
	You're a duke.
	So he wants to add Sheriff of Oregon to his duties.
	Okay.
	You can do that.
	You can do that.
	It's fine.
	Hold on a second.
	I have it here because they sent me a...
	Gene sent me a screenshot.
	Hold on a second.
	It was kind of strange, but now I understand.
	He says, Hey, Sir Dwayne and I had an official business meeting and we unanimously voted to expense this meeting before adjourning.
	So do you or John approve our expenses?
	Okay.
	And it is from, I can see here, it is from Beaverton, Oregon.
	Oh, Beaverton.
	Home of the mustard.
	And I said, we don't approve expenses that are out of state.
	We don't do that if it's out of state.
	You have to have a TPS report in order to have that pre-approved.
	We don't do those things.
	It's between you and your accountant.
	Sir David Foley.
	That's what I was looking for.
	We had a bunch of these stories.
	He came in with $333.33 from the lost cat in California.
	Uh, ITM folks, as I arrived to Hertz, at Hertz, to pick up my rental car, I received the enclosed text message telling me that my Jeep Patriot was installed 33.
	Clearly a sign that I need to get a boost that knows yet the karma.
	You just gotta love that.
	33.
	That's the magic number.
	I love that.
	It's so funny.
	He sent me a picture of that too.
	Yeah, some karma, of course, for the Grand Duke, everybody.
	You've got karma.
	Thank you so much.
	Number of anecdotes about 33 this week.
	Really?
	It's kind of strange.
	John Kumar in London, UK, 33333.
	He sent a note in wanting me to read his...
	He's got some product or something.
	Let me see if I can find it.
	Okay, his first thing came in.
	In confirmation, he says, I have a selfish request.
	I quit my corporate job a while back to become an author and to promote my new book, The Right Trajectory, which is a book.
	He said, would you read this blurb?
	And so he had a blurb.
	A blurb?
	Which is a long blurb.
	I said, you know, this blurb sucks, I told him.
	Oh, yeah, I saw that.
	I said, no, no, no, this blurb's no good.
	Let me read the blurb.
	By the way, blurb is a fantastic word that needs to come back en vogue.
	Blurb.com.
	It's already there.
	It's a blurb.
	It's a site for publishers.
	A blurb site.
	So, I'm going to read this, and I said I was actually going to read his second one that was a little tighter, but then I'm going to read the first one so everyone realizes how helpful we are.
	And I want to point out, John C. Dvorak is an accomplished, successful, commercial, the C stands for commercial, writer.
	Yeah, blurb writer, too, by the way.
	I write a blurb for anything.
	Quick, he says, is the blurb.
	Quick, when I mention the name of top-tier professional service firms, what do you think of?
	Arthur Anderson.
	Plush offices, great colleagues, prestigious jobs.
	Well, what if I told you I actually epitomized incompetence, bureaucracy, poisonous office politics, and sex all thrown in together?
	Surprised?
	Well, read on for one man's insights on how these firms really work.
	The unhinged people you'll come across and what you can do to protect yourself against the insanity of such environments.
	Okay, I already don't like the blurb.
	No, I didn't like the blurb either.
	I thought it was a weak blurb.
	It was assuming too much.
	It had the pitch.
	It wasn't...
	Okay, one thing, I'm skeptical.
	So I'm going to read this book because I want to read about poisonous environments?
	I don't think so.
	So did you rewrite the blurb for him?
	I did not rewrite the blurb for him.
	I don't...
	Yeah, no.
	All right, all right.
	So then he says, well, he says, I meant to be an insider's guide to consulting, which would be a better way to approach it.
	He says, the previous blurb looked good on screen.
	No, it did not.
	So let me know if this one works on the air.
	This is a book, The Right Trajectory, which is an insider's guide to consulting in a big brand name firm.
	It's a satirical.
	Now it's satirical.
	He didn't convey that in the first blurb.
	Satirical look at the life of a consultant and the tricks he has to play to get promoted.
	It's written by John Kumar, who gave up a corporate career at a big four firm to become an author.
	I don't know.
	Alright, so...
	Do you want to give him some advice?
	You gave him advice in the email, right?
	Yeah.
	You said it sucks.
	I think it was your advice.
	Well, it sucks is not much of advice.
	Did you give him any follow-up help?
	No, no, because this just came in.
	Okay, I am going to do him a favor.
	This is what I'm talking about.
	As an author-to-author thing, as a colleague.
	Mentoring skills.
	I am going to write him a blurb.
	Huh?
	Wow.
	Yeah.
	Wow.
	Okay.
	So that'll be coming in the mail.
	Nice.
	All right.
	Onward.
	And John, you are good at blurbs.
	I'm a blurbmeister.
	John C. C stands for blurbmeister.
	I'm a blurbmeister.
	C stands for blurbmeister.
	Nice.
	Josh Wykopen in Spring, Texas, 33333.
	Did we get an email from him?
	Josh, I'll send along an email shortly.
	He said he was sending an email.
	Did we get one from him?
	Well, that's funny because...
	I shall investigate.
	Let me see.
	Yes, I do.
	I got one from him.
	Okay, you can read it then.
	Is this January 19th?
	Hey guys.
	Thanks again for all you do.
	I know donations have been down.
	I wanted to pitch in some sweet moolah to keep the operation going.
	I sent along 33333 because it seemed to work out well for me last time.
	Feel free to use my name, Joshua Koppen, instead of my company's name.
	I need some business growing karma.
	I've got a new venture that's slowly taken off, but I need to make sure I have enough karma fuel to keep the winning streak going.
	I started this site a while back called Fascinately.com.
	Essentially, in quotes, he says, it's a website for the masses to waste their time on.
	For me, it's a cash cow.
	My company runs several other high-traffic sites for clients, and when I saw how much money could be made doing these types of sites, I knew I needed to get in this business.
	Well, let me take a look at this.
	Fascinately.com.
	F-A-S-C-I-N-A-T-E-L-Y. It's kind of like a BuzzFeed.
	Interesting.
	Parenting hacks that'll make you feel like everything is under control.
	Powerful portraits from around the world show the beauty of the human race.
	Oh, this is good.
	Yeah, this is exactly what the stupid masses are into.
	The stupid masses.
	These frozen lakes, oceans, and ponds are breathtakingly gorgeous.
	And then hopefully you have every picture on a separate page.
	Oh yeah, there you go.
	No, actually, I hate those.
	No, he doesn't do that.
	It's all on one page.
	Like, 20 pictures of Jennifer Aniston naked, and you have to click through every single one.
	Yeah, with an ad.
	I hate that.
	So lame-o.
	So he wants some caramel.
	Let's give him that, and thank you very much for supporting us here.
	You've got caramel.
	I'm thinking that'll do good for you in Texas.
	I like that.
	It is kind of hacking the hack.
	Yeah, it's true.
	This is what people want.
	It's crazy.
	Well, there's not much you can do about it.
	Onward!
	Oh, there you go.
	Sir Gene, who is the Earl of Texas Sheriff of Austin.
	333, without the 33 cents.
	Hey guys, I'm signing a multi-year lease on a huge studio gallery space.
	Please give me some karma for this new venture.
	Wow.
	I asked for karma.
	Yeah.
	Here's what it says.
	Let me read it exactly.
	Gene, listen to yourself.
	Please give me some karma for this new venture.
	I asked for karma.
	What?
	It happens.
	Okay, we know.
	I just said it two seconds ago.
	Hey, don't make the executive producers mad.
	Oh, gee, he's got a sense of humor, unlike some people.
	Also, please call out Greg Davis as a douchebag.
	Douchebag!
	Apparently he listened for six months and has never donated.
	So this is cool.
	Sir Gene's got a studio.
	You know what that means?
	He's got a studio space, multi-year lease.
	You know what that means?
	Studio.
	Porn.
	Porn.
	Yeah.
	I'll be shooting porn.
	I can do porn.
	With Russian.
	Well, maybe.
	Hot Russian chicks.
	That's the way he's been working with Mickey to get his lighting skills down.
	Yeah.
	He's all set with the lighting skills.
	Well, and he gets the thing fully equipped.
	See if it can be used for video production.
	Porn.
	Keith Jacobs, Phoenixville, Pennsylvania, 24733.
	Wait, wait, wait.
	I've got to do the karma for Gene.
	Are you crazy?
	You've got karma.
	He's got special karma.
	By Ayn Rand.
	He loves that.
	I don't know about that.
	Yeah, he does.
	Back to Keith Jacobs in Phoenixville, Pennsylvania, 247-33, which is 214 plus 3333.
	It's been hard to donate for a while, but things are slowly getting back on track.
	Can I get a Valentine's Day show call out from my lovely wife, Megan?
	Oh, this is a Valentine's Day thing.
	We have to make a note.
	It's going to be tough.
	Can we also get some karma for our new surprise human resource due in July?
	Surprise!
	Surprise!
	Honey, I only put the tip in.
	I don't understand all the surprises.
	You've got karma.
	Congratulations.
	Congratulations.
	I've got to make a note somewhere that this is a 214.
	Lovely.
	Oh, actually, we have a...
	Hold on a second.
	We have a...
	We can do a...
	I think we can probably do better than...
	He had...
	What was it?
	Love...
	What was it?
	Love...
	Love karma?
	Love call out for his one?
	How about this one?
	Why?
	Because donating is...
	Okay.
	Forget about it.
	That didn't work out.
	Yeah, the love part could be better.
	Yeah, all right.
	I think that if you can get Pastor Manning saying love, I think that might be more spectacular.
	Okay, I'll work on it.
	I don't know what I'm going to do.
	Keith, you're going to have to remind us on Valentine's Day.
	Yeah, please do.
	We do a sort.
	Let's see all the 214s.
	Put them on Valentine's Day.
	And you come in at 247.33, which is not going to sort right.
	Two donations, you could have done that.
	Francie Reynolds in Aliquippa.
	Aliquippa.
	Aliquippa.
	I think it's 241.18.
	From a belated 24th birthday, January 18th, I'd like to give myself the gift of moral self-licensing and finally donate to the best podcast in the universe in the amount of 241.18.
	Hopefully my procrastination donation will help in rectifying these shitty Thursday turnouts.
	Thank you both infinitely for my sanity.
	And thanks to Andy Walker for hitting me in the mouth.
	Please play ISIS, followed to the Gates of Hell, followed by That's the Story, and a shout at Karma for a fucking awesome 2015.
	Oh, okay.
	I can give it a try.
	Hey!
	ISIS! To the gates of hell.
	ISIS. I feel good!
	And that's the story.
	You've got Carmen.
	Uh-huh.
	Uh-huh.
	Nailed it.
	Now, whoever produced that little song, I like the way they cut up.
	We will follow them to the gates of hell so it goes on with the beat.
	Yeah.
	So that's a pro, whoever that was.
	Yes, well, we have a lot of pros who...
	Who work in industry and like to help us out because it's just fun to do and they could never produce this kind of stuff for the places they work.
	No, nobody would run that except us.
	Yeah, I can't think of many people who would run that.
	Darren and Graham of the Crime America Show podcast, 214-14 out of Calgary, Alberta.
	Darren and Graham of the Crime America Show podcast are digging no agenda, eh?
	Keep up the great work.
	Sent via PayPal was a donation of 214-14.
	We also adhere to the value-for-value model.
	Check out some of our latest shows with unsung geniuses like Randall Carlson and Mobile Observatory's Ben Davidson.
	Everything from lucid dreamers and economic hitmen to the anti-Gorian global and warming deniers.
	We support the best podcast in the universe, and ours is the runner-up.
	The Grimerica Show, fighting the good fight alongside no agenda on different fronts in the war on consciousness.
	We're aiming for knighthood in 2015, and then you guys get a passport to Grimerica, and we'd love to have you on the show.
	Please dole out some karma, and both of you choose a clip.
	So, first I want to say, they have asked me several times, and I typically just ignore or just don't do interviews in other podcasts, because, I don't know, what am I going to say?
	I do.
	Yeah, okay.
	Well, but these guys are...
	They are doing the value for value model.
	They're taking donations.
	I've heard that it's a pretty good show.
	I should probably do it.
	Yes, you should.
	You should, eh?
	Eh?
	And I'll be an asshole.
	Go to Vancouver.
	And I'll be an asshole like you and do the accent the whole time.
	That'll really go over well.
	Eh?
	Aboot?
	What's the show, Aboot?
	Yeah, that's...
	It's not okay.
	It's really not okay.
	Choose a clip.
	You got to choose a clip.
	You got to choose a clip.
	Yeah, I want to whip them with the Constitution.
	Oh, holy moly.
	I wasn't expecting that.
	It's whoop, not whip it, it's whoop it.
	I think.
	Whoop it.
	Let me...
	Uh-oh, what happened?
	Here, come on, come back, come back, come back.
	Whoop it, whoop it, whoop it, whoop it, whoop it, whoop it.
	I think this would be it.
	Let's give it a try.
	And her head is gone.
	Now, get out there and whoop Obama's behind!
	you've got karma I'd forgotten about that.
	Another outstanding production from one of our producers.
	You have to choose one, too.
	I played and her head is gone.
	Oh, I thought that was just...
	Well, I can always play.
	It was worth it.
	Alright, well, I'm sorry for the lame Canadian accent.
	Although Canadians love it.
	And that is also a double producership, the 214.14.
	Or the Grimerica show.
	Right.
	Grimerica gets in on the Valentine's thing.
	So does Andre Schmid in Lausanne, Switzerland.
	Lausanne.
	Lausanne.
	In the morning, the donation is for more than one reason.
	First, I haven't been donating lately, and your shows have been tremendous as of late.
	Second, This 214 donation is meant for the special one, and there's no special one in my life.
	I'm hoping this will get me some relationship karma.
	Insert 6969 jingle here.
	Also, I need some legal karma.
	I don't know if I can split the karma, though.
	It doubles on its own.
	It's like an amoeba.
	And last but not least, this will make me a knight as I work on the boats between Switzerland and France on Lake Lehmann, otherwise known as Lake Geneva.
	But please use the official name.
	Please knight me as Sir Day Day, Knight of the Lake Lehmann.
	Knight of the Lake Lehmann.
	Thanks for your courage and keep the good work.
	I wonder if we can get a ride on this boat.
	How big is it?
	Well, it's probably big.
	It's going back and forth.
	Cool.
	Between Switzerland and France.
	Yeah.
	It's probably a big boat.
	I'm loving it.
	I don't know what to say.
	I was just looking to see if I got his name right for this knighting with the ceremony coming up.
	All right.
	We have all that.
	Good.
	Well, and let me give you some relationship karma there for the 14th of February.
	You've got karma.
	Valentine's Day.
	And we'll be knighting you and inducting you into the table of round for the Knights and Dames later on in the program.
	And finally, Dame Bang Bang came in with two donations in a row.
	And...
	One for $214, which is separate to the other one, and the other one for $121.
	This makes her an executive producer, actually, because we combine the two.
	DH Slam is trying to show me up, and it's unacceptable, she says.
	I sent in a donation with a handwritten note to celebrate our anniversary.
	It seems to have been lost in the mail.
	I have a handwritten note from her here.
	In fact, she sent a card, which in the front says, Pretty in pink, wicked in black.
	Mm-hmm.
	And please read on show 688.
	It didn't come in on time.
	That's the problem.
	Here is a small donation of 12101, which is the other half of this, in celebration of Sir D.H. Slammer and my 14th anniversary on Tuesday at 121.
	Happy anniversary to my knight in shining armor, or at least in very well-laundered khakis.
	T-Y-F-Y-C to be married to me and for hitting me in the mouth.
	I love you with all my heart, Dame Bang Bang.
	That note did come in, and there it is.
	She also, in her complaint note, which is the $214 donation, she says, I sent a donation and it seems to have been lost in the mail.
	I want it noted that I sent this in way before DH Slammer even thought to donate $214 in my name for show 6 on 687, along with one of the sweetest notes he's ever written to me, thus making me look bad.
	So now I'm donating 214 in his name for double producership on Valentine's Day with hope that my now belated donation of 12101, which did come in, also shows up in the post office box soon.
	Please give, this is the confusing life, confusing life of the no agenda listener.
	Please give the love of my life some karma because he deserves it for all he does for our family, even if he's a jerk for trying to show me up.
	You do know what T-Y-F-Y-C means, right?
	I haven't thought about it.
	Thank you for your courage.
	Oh yes, thank you for your courage.
	You've got karma.
	It's one of those staples of the Noah James show.
	So everybody's caught up now.
	And then we have Benjamin Rutgers in Ames, Iowa.
	And he did send a note in too.
	Now I'm completely lost.
	But I have the notes in a pile.
	So let me find the note from him.
	Ritgers, Ritgers, Ritgers.
	No, no, that's not it.
	We have a small production team.
	Benjamin Ritgers, Ames, Iowa.
	He's written it in longhand with a very strange pen.
	I have been remiss in donating, so I jumped at the chance to get a double associate producership for calling out my valentine.
	Her name is Chandra, and I love to make her laugh by stuttering Obama's That's How We Roll.
	This is a check for 214.
	And a challenge coin from the something.
	He sent his challenge coin in.
	I have to look at it carefully.
	I aspire to be a writer and get published with them someday.
	From the Ben Science Fiction.
	Ben something of science fiction.
	Please play Don't Eat Me Hillary and Give Me Jobs and Relationship Karma.
	Sincerely, Benjamin.
	Okay, so it wants a Don't Eat Me, Hillary.
	I was going to throw in the That's How We Roll.
	What was the other thing?
	Just some...
	Yeah, throw in That's How We Roll.
	That's How We Roll.
	That's how we work.
	That's all for us.
	And that's the story.
	Don't Eat Me, Hillary Clinton!
	You've Got Karma.
	And people say I don't work hard.
	You kill yourself.
	And finally, last but not least, $200 is Corwin Underwood in Hamilton, Ohio.
	ITM, gentlemen, I hope the support for the show picks up.
	Here's my donation for the best executed no-agenda analysis of current events.
	A few shows ago, you brought up the topic of an Ohio man, Christopher Lee Cornell, who was arrested by the FBI for connection with a plot to attack the U.S. Capitol and the possession of firearms bought at a local gun store in Ohio.
	I agree with his father that it was most likely led on by the FBI and suckered into an entrapment scheme.
	Two things I found funny about the story.
	One, the incident occurred in my hometown county, so it struck very close to home.
	And two, the Reverend J.C. Devorah kept referring to the state as Idaho, when in fact the state of Ohio made me chuckle and think of the indecent where the terrorists shot up the...
	Indecent or incident?
	It does say indecent.
	You're right.
	Of the incident.
	There you go.
	Of the incident where the terrorists shot up the Canadian Parliament in L Sharpton and confused the location of Ottawa.
	Yes.
	Iowa.
	It's funny.
	Come to think of it.
	Hold on.
	Come to think of it.
	I've never seen...
	You and Al Sharpton in the same picture.
	Oh no, it could be me.
	Please play that clip along with an OMG amazing and another shot of home buying karma from my brother Sir Metal Mike who is still having frustrations purchasing his new home.
	Well, before I do that, since I have it right here and he did the intro, here is a clip of the gun store owner being in on the whole thing.
	Christopher Lee Cornell, the Cincinnati man accused of plotting to bomb the United States Capitol and shoot at those running away, is behind bars, at least partially because of the efforts of this man.
	John Dean is the manager of Point Blank Range and Gun Shop in Cincinnati.
	He says he was contacted by the FBI a few weeks ahead of Wednesday's arrest.
	Can you believe these guys?
	These FBI guys?
	A few weeks ahead, they were setting this stupid mama's boy, 20-year-old, sheltered, reclusive, introverted kid, setting him up weeks in advance.
	Yeah, it's hilarious.
	But at the time, agents weren't able to provide Dean with much detail.
	Not really, because...
	They did let us know that what we would be doing is handling a sale for them.
	A sale for them, which is even better, the way he says that.
	A sale for the FBI. But beyond that, there were no specifics.
	They just said that they would keep us informed.
	And if the time came that we would have to be a part of this, then they would let us know.
	On Wednesday morning, Dean found out that he would play an integral role in the operation.
	It was just a few minutes after we opened up, one of the agents stopped by and said that this person was going to be stopping by probably in about 10 minutes or so.
	Let me know that he was probably in the market for two firearms and then asked us who was going to handle the sale.
	I said I would do that.
	And sure enough, about ten minutes later, Christopher Cornell came in.
	That's not a setup at all.
	So they actually used the FBI to sell the gun.
	And it took two weeks to convince this kid to take the money because they gave him the money to buy the gun.
	But in this report, if you want to hear more in this report, they were on this kid for a year.
	Yeah.
	Let me just play it a little bit more.
	Yeah, play it more.
	Dean says that he initiated the sales process after an agent pointed out Cornell on the shop's security camera.
	Cornell completed his purchase of two AR-15s.
	Which is not illegal.
	Some extra ammunition and two additional magazines.
	Ugh!
	Dean encouraged Cornell to take the items to his vehicle.
	That's when operatives moved in.
	Several agents came from several different directions towards him.
	They put him down on the parking lot asphalt, just immediately face down.
	The guns were separated from him.
	Those agents made quick work of the arrest.
	Dean says that there was no struggle from Cornell.
	Absolutely not.
	No, he went right down.
	He saw the agents starting to come towards him.
	him.
	He stopped and then did exactly what they asked him to do.
	There was no resistance that I could see.
	It was obvious that that fight was not in him.
	Fight or not, Cornell will be charged with the attempted killing of a U.S. government officer and possession of a firearm with intent to commit a crime.
	What is the attempted kill?
	I don't know.
	They can say whatever they want.
	Wow.
	He bought a gun and therefore it's a crime because he purchased that with intent to kill a federal officer.
	Tweeting pro-ISIS material.
	Oh, tweeting pro-ISIS material!
	And taking steps toward detonating pipe bombs at the Capitol.
	Yeah, he took two steps towards the Capitol.
	He didn't even have any pipe bombs.
	He had nothing, nothing, nothing.
	Cornell had been under investigation for a year before making his move toward the Capitol this week.
	He currently gets in the...
	This is moron to buy a gun.
	This is a year.
	Because the kid is...
	This makes me so mad.
	Stop that.
	Stop that.
	Help these children.
	Anyway, he has a clippy one.
	Oh my God, amazing.
	Thank you very much for your contribution, Corwin.
	Appreciate it.
	Sorry about the Idaho thing, folks.
	Chloe, let me go to you first.
	What's the latest tonight in Iowa?
	Well, in Ottawa.
	Oh my God, that is amazing!
	You've got karma.
	There you go.
	There you go, everybody.
	These are, of course, as I mentioned earlier, official credits.
	You can use them wherever credits are accepted.
	And if you need anyone to vouch for, you'll be happy to do that here at the No Agenda Show.
	Two quick PR mentions.
	Producer James Michael Dupont...
	Dupont!
	Dupont created a special voting bookmark...
	Uh, for, uh, the best podcast in the universe for the podcast awards.
	So, uh, I'm going to, there's a link in the, uh, I'm going to put it in the chat room right now, uh, to a GitHub, uh, uh, bookmark.
	And then I guess it, uh, it then votes for us in every category if you hit the bookmark.
	So it's kind of a semi-automated thing.
	And people have been voting for us in the podcast awards, finally, and voting for us in every category.
	Yeah.
	I don't know why we're doing that, but that's, I don't know why, but, uh, it works for me.
	It's not a cooking show.
	Well, we did recipes once.
	Along those lines, the podcast awards, this is the 10th annual podcast awards at the New Media Expo.
	I believe it's back in Vegas.
	Lost wages.
	Dave Jackson from the School of Podcasting is putting this together.
	Guess who was hosting?
	Hell froze over.
	I couldn't believe this.
	Chris Rock.
	No, not quite.
	Dennis Miller.
	No, Dennis Miller.
	Comedian and pundit.
	And Emily Morse.
	Never heard of her.
	Yeah, she worked at a pod show.
	She had sex with Emily, and that's actually turned into a pretty successful show.
	Sex with Emily was the show?
	Yeah.
	I think she has a show now on one of the San Francisco radio stations, but she also does the podcast.
	I've followed her for a long time.
	She's been very successful, and she's selling vibrators and lube and all kinds of stuff, so it's working out great.
	But she'll be hosting along with Dennis Miller.
	I think that is quite a catch.
	That is not bad.
	And if we actually have a chance of winning, I think you and I should go there to accept it.
	Oh, if we have a chance of winning, if we have enough of the guy's name, dude named Ben to make it work.
	Probably could vote automatically.
	You can vote every day, so you could probably set something up that would vote every day, which you can do legally, and it would help if you know what I'm saying here.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, I don't think that.
	It never works.
	We ask for this.
	I know.
	We ask people to do stuff like that.
	They never do it.
	No, no.
	That's okay.
	I'm happy with the support we get for the program.
	And of course, besides financial, monetary, we need you to be out there propagating the formula.
	Our formula is this.
	We go out, we hit people in the mouth.
	Water!
	Water!
	Shut up, flame!
	Shut up!
	Fear is freedom!
	Subjugation is liberation!
	Contradiction is truth!
	Those are the facts of this world!
	And you will all surrender to them!
	You pigs in human clothing!
	Boo-choccalaca.
	Boo-choccalaca.
	There we go.
	I got a note from an MDL. What is MDL? I don't know, some guy.
	Some guy named MDL. Just a couple of notes here, show notes kind of thing.
	John's pronunciation of primer is correct.
	The word is short I predates 1700, referred to as basic elementary school vocabulary and spelling textbook.
	Primer, with a long I, is a clear subcoat applied to metal gutter prior to painting it.
	As an aside, it seems to me that foie gras was banned from restaurants in Chicago for a while by the city council vote when I was still living there 8 to 10 years ago.
	Figures that California would do it to.
	I don't know what that means, but that was, I guess, we had a debate about how to pronounce primer.
	I don't remember that.
	So, a while ago.
	Well, eventually, people would catch up.
	But if you say, I'm okay with, I like the way we pronounce words.
	I like saying measure, measure.
	Which people really dislike, which is probably why I like it even more.
	Yeah, yeah.
	But it's proper.
	It's proper English.
	As long as you don't say picture.
	Say what?
	Picture.
	Picture?
	No, picture.
	Picture?
	Picture.
	I don't say that.
	No, no.
	Bill Gates does.
	Oh.
	I like saying controversy.
	So Bill Gates was on the Jimmy Fallon show last night.
	Oh, really?
	Do you have a clip?
	No.
	I haven't recorded it.
	I haven't seen it yet.
	I'll watch it for the Sunday show.
	It's funny because he's in the news.
	Of course, we have Davo.
	Davo.
	Davos.
	Davos.
	And Bill and Melinda Gates will be presenting up there in Switzerland.
	They're going to be handing out money?
	Kind of.
	So this is in the article.
	Of course, Bill and Melinda Gates are, of course, fantastic.
	They save money.
	Black children everywhere are very nice of them.
	Yeah, big investors in the CCA, the Corrections Corporation of America private prisons.
	That's a very good investment, a very charitable organization.
	They are now focusing on the creation of mobile money systems.
	Over which financial services can be provided.
	We saw this happen in Haiti.
	The guys moved in with a mobile payment system, and now this is what Mel and Belinda Gates are going to be doing.
	And it will all be on your phone.
	Let's see.
	The thing we're trying to create is essentially, says Bill, a debit card with your cell phone where you have transaction costs for digital transfers under 2%.
	Gee, who's going to take that 2%?
	I wonder.
	So whether it's savings or transferring to other accounts or taking out loans, you have the basic capability and innovators can do educational or agricultural offerings on top of that.
	So this philanthropy is really going to benefit their investments in mobile payment systems.
	Yeah, that'll save lives.
	Yeah.
	Well, it's challenging because now all these third world countries will really have no money.
	They will be complete slaves to the system if your money is tied up in your phone.
	Yeah.
	Fantastic.
	Okay.
	All right.
	What more do you want?
	In Davo, they had to open up a military airport because so many private jets were coming in.
	1,700 private jets flying to Davo to, I don't know, discuss global warming.
	It's a drinking club.
	Yeah, it is.
	It is a drinking club.
	And the funny thing is certain journalists will get invited occasionally.
	You can go in there and be one of the stooges.
	They kind of fill up seats.
	Essentially, I used it.
	They have a little auditorium.
	These guys go, blah, blah, blah.
	You can get all this stuff online, by the way, most of this stuff.
	Yeah.
	And they're bloviating about one thing or another.
	And they have to have this audience, because most people, they're drinking.
	They're not going to be in this audience.
	You invite all these extras.
	They're like screen extras without getting the benefits of a union job.
	And they get to sit in the audience, so it looks like somebody's interested.
	It's all the journalists are all sitting there.
	Sounds like you've been.
	No, I haven't, but I know a lot of people who have.
	I almost went once.
	The thing, what I understand...
	That's the main reason they go to this, the skiing.
	It's the skiing.
	It's the skiing and I understand it's the breakfast.
	So you're supposed to spend all night with hookers and blow and then you dress up and you stumble into breakfast and that's all the business and you sleep the rest of the day and then ski a little.
	Yeah, a lot of skiing.
	Yeah, a lot of skiing.
	And everybody presents something or other, and I don't know.
	And if you look at the old ones, there used to be a cache of them online where they had all the transcripts of all these.
	It was just nothing.
	Very little.
	Very shallow observations.
	But Bill will be there.
	So a lot of research going on.
	This clip, which quite honestly you should have given me clip of the day for, has really gotten legs.
	You're still going to grouse about this?
	Well, no, I'm not grousing.
	I just wanted to mention that this clip has gotten legs.
	There's a lot more happening around this particular theory.
	I'll play the clip.
	This is what we played on Sunday.
	There are serious doubts about what really was behind last week's attacks.
	Dana Kennedy is a Paris-based American journalist for the Daily Beast.
	She's written about this, and she joins me from Paris.
	You talked, Dana, to some of these French Muslims who say this was all a conspiracy.
	What do they mean?
	Well, I went out to what they call the suburbs of France, which are not what Americans think of as suburbs.
	They're really the housing projects that are outside Paris, and there are a couple areas inside Paris where a lot of poor Muslims live.
	And I talked to a cross-section of mainly French-Algerian young men who said to me it was pretty much, they felt, the attacks were actually a conspiracy by the Jews to make Muslims look bad.
	And they told me, one person told me that, in fact, they weren't just regular Jews that were doing this.
	In fact, they were a race of magical Jews, shape-shifting Jews that were master manipulators and could be everywhere at the same time.
	So some research has been performed.
	Let's go back over this, why you didn't get Clip of the Day for this, because it's got all the earmarks of Clip of the Day.
	I agree with you.
	The point was, I had a tinge of annoyance with the, not the woman, but with the other guy, with his phony, baloney way of introducing her and his phony, baloney way of asking a question, and it bothered me so much that I was preoccupied with it.
	And so when the Clip of the Day part came along, if you would have just cut that guy out, I think you would have definitely got it.
	But if you listen to this, play it again at the beginning.
	Just listen to the way he asks the question.
	It's like he's reading it.
	There are serious doubts about what really was behind last week's...
	Yeah, he's actually, we call this a puker.
	So he's reading the script and puking it.
	There are serious doubts.
	Dana Kennedy is a Paris-based American journalist.
	So I went to go find this article by Dana Kennedy.
	It's very interesting.
	She actually writes...
	Almost in the third person, it's very tricky the way she says this.
	The man who gave his name as Muhammad said he was a devout Muslim, but then changed his demeanor and added grinning that he was also a delinquent, then said he was a drug dealer without prompting, invited the reporter to the gas station to show an array of hashish.
	Very strange article, but then she comes into this shape-shifting magical Jews.
	And along with this comes a lot of talk in France specifically about this, about, you know, there's a conspiracy theory now that the Jews, magical shape-shifting or not, are behind this, and the Muslims in the suburbs, and that's really what her article was about, are behind this.
	And the Paris media are basing this on an interview with the guy who staked out the grocery store.
	And they have seven minutes of audio, and also pieces that were recorded after the interview had kept on recording.
	And what's interesting about this, if you listen to the translation, if you read the translation, I can understand some French but not good enough to understand this entirely, but I do believe the translation is accurate.
	Not one single time ever does he mention Jews.
	There's no evidence anywhere from anybody except for some of the Paris media that this was an attack on Jews.
	And even the evidence they say that this...
	What is this guy's name?
	I forget his name.
	He was one of the brothers.
	No, he wasn't one of the brothers.
	He was one of their buddies.
	It's just not there.
	It is not there.
	Then now you have Muslims, and this is, I don't think, being reported very well in these so-called suburbs, and they're out there saying this is bullshit.
	They're really mad about it.
	And here, one teacher said up to 80% of the students did not even want to observe the silence in Paris.
	It's almost like it's being set up.
	It really feels...
	Here's CNN with...
	This is very funny.
	This is a CNN report that I caught just yesterday about Amadi Koulibaly.
	That's the guy's name.
	And they have some video, which is, you almost can't see anything they have to highlight with an oval, these two people walking on the street.
	You don't see where they're walking.
	But yet CNN reports this.
	This exclusive surveillance video obtained by CNN shows Amade Koulibaly and his partner Hayat Boumedien last summer outside a Jewish institution in Paris.
	Sources tell CNN the duo was trying to blend in and scope out potential Jewish targets.
	Now, a couple things.
	I don't know what that is.
	They don't say what it is.
	And then sources tell us at CNN that they were scoping out Jewish targets.
	This is not reporting.
	This is not even good gossip.
	This is not journalism.
	Months before, Koulibaly eventually launched a siege on a kosher grocery store where he killed four people.
	Today in France, authorities charge four men in connection with the Paris attack.
	The first since the Charlie Hebdo massacre shocked the city.
	One of the suspects DNA was allegedly found on a car used to transport Koulibaly to the kosher grocery store.
	Another piece of information.
	And put in kosher grocery store?
	Doesn't DNA take a couple weeks?
	Mm-hmm.
	Well, not in this case.
	That very takes a long time.
	Not in this case.
	DNA was found, she says.
	What did she say?
	Allegedly.
	I have to listen to that again.
	A car.
	I think it was allegedly.
	These people are not reporters.
	Shock the city.
	One of the suspects' DNA was allegedly found on a car.
	Allegedly.
	Oh, man.
	Used to transport Koulibaly to the kosher grocery store.
	This, as we learn Bulgaria, will extradite this Frenchman who was friends with the Kowashi brothers.
	The mayor of Paris tells him it's Christiane Amanpour.
	The city is still on heightened alert.
	So you understand a little bit about what is going on with this very strange occurrence.
	And now we'll have Benjamin Netanyahu, I believe, has been invited by Boehner to speak in the house today.
	Oh, is he going to bring his cartoons with him?
	I'm not sure about that.
	The bumps, the views.
	Let me see.
	I think I had something here somewhere about him showing up.
	Well, if he does that, that would be very funny.
	That would be very funny, actually.
	I don't know where I put him.
	And then we have my favorite organization, Vice.
	And Vice come out with this story, and I think Vice is completely compromised.
	They will do whatever the government wants them to do.
	Tom Fresco.
	I think after reports are bogus.
	Regardless of their source, the Charlie Hebdo rumors have all the hallmarks of a classic conspiracy theory.
	They said this?
	Oh, yeah.
	And they go into how conspiracy theories are shit, how this is ridiculous, again, the shape-shifting Jews, just how everyone is completely insane, talking about anything but what it was, clearly Muslims trying to kill Jews.
	Then everything else is just slamming Alex Jones, of course.
	There you go.
	Taking it back to the Bilderberg Conference.
	And then really, a new slant is these people who say these things, these crazy conspiracy theorists, they're making millions of dollars.
	I thought this was funny.
	Alex Jones, who spews forth conspiracy theories from Infowars and other platforms, is estimated to make more than $10 million a year.
	Right-wing mogul Glenn Beck, who spawned a number of bizarre theories, reportedly earned $90 million a year from 2012-2013.
	David Icke isn't exactly on the breadline, with an estimated $9 million net worth, much of which will have been generated through book and merchandise sales.
	We're not doing this right, that's for sure.
	We're not doing this right, but I think that some of those numbers are definitely inflated.
	I think the $10 million for Jones with all of his...
	I think Jones' number might be in the...
	In the ballpark.
	Ballpark.
	I think so.
	No way for Beck, because he's spending all his money on his studios.
	I mean, he has cash flow that's pretty high, but I don't think what he's got left over is much.
	And there's no way David Icke is making that much money.
	Oh, no, he makes a lot of money.
	He sells out to Wembley Stadium.
	Does he?
	Oh, yeah.
	Okay, well, maybe he is.
	Well, I know he lives in a small place and doesn't seem to dress well.
	He lives on the Isle of Wight, which is that you don't need to dress well there.
	Of course, we saw Netanyahu come out immediately.
	We saw Obama being shunned.
	And now, having Boehner...
	I'm pissed off now.
	I don't know where this clip is because it was kind of funny.
	Boehner invited Netanyahu to come speak before the...
	Here it is.
	And a new political battle exploded today.
	House Speaker John Boehner invited Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu to address Congress without telling the White House.
	That's an unprecedented breach in protocol and one that allows a foreign leader the chance to stand in the House chambers and reject the administration's position against new sanctions for Iran's nuclear program.
	So I don't know if it'll be exclusively about Iran, but again the president being kept out of the loop.
	And I really...
	There is something going on with this.
	Here's the other email that we received.
	What is happening now in the UK. This is from...
	I really have to be a little sketchy about this.
	I'm sorry because of...
	Details I really can't give out, but this producer is active in the UK government, in a department.
	And he says there is typically the kind of policy stuff that's being done when they want to communicate something to the sheeple is, you know, do moms want more safety rules for cars?
	You know, stuff like this.
	And that's how you wind up with, you know, in our country, the president declaring a day for something.
	But, you know, this is really about communicating things to the citizens.
	And our producer says, what's happened now, there's just the influx, the flood of information about Muslims and their views relating to terrorism, the UK, Israel, and the Jews...
	This is now top of mind.
	It's unbelievable how many reports are now being compiled saying that the 3 million Muslims in the UK, 40% say they'd rather live under Sharia law than Arab law.
	The English law.
	I'm sorry, the English law.
	And these so-called no-go zones, which is now being brought into question, absolutely true.
	It is absolutely true.
	I almost had some clips on this because, you know, there was supposedly...
	In fact, I don't have...
	I didn't clip this, but on Democracy Now!
	they had a British reporter on who said she used to live in Birmingham and this is all bullcrap.
	There is no such thing as a no-go zone anywhere in the UK. And Amy Goodman, oh yes, this sounds like something...
	Conspiracy theory, yeah.
	Republicans.
	Whatever.
	Actually, I do have a clip of that.
	This is no-go zones in the USA. What goes on in these campuses?
	A lot of people say, hey, there are Jewish camps in this country, Christian camps in this country.
	Why can't we have a Muslim camp?
	Because these are truly no-go zones.
	Unlike the ones in Europe, which I visited, you can actually walk into those no-go zones.
	You can.
	As long as you're, you know, dressed appropriately, not drinking alcohol, not smoking, not looking weird.
	You can walk in with your cameras, you can talk to people.
	But in these particular no-go zones, you cannot get into.
	They have gates, they have armed guards, they have security forces.
	Let me continue with this email because this is really very interesting.
	Here's what our producer is hearing.
	Religious war, religious terrorism, getting much worse.
	And the government seems, the UK government seems desperate to find a way to assimilate Muslims instead of having these...
	You know, segregated areas where they all, you know, glom.
	Gettos.
	Well, you can call it a ghetto, but then, you know, there really aren't no ghettos.
	Everyone can, you know, you don't have to starve.
	The definition of ghetto doesn't mean it's bad.
	So now there needs to be a British version of Islam.
	And you know that David Cameron is out there handing out, you know, letters and flyers to the mosques.
	And the UK government appears to be extremely worried about now, finally, their Muslim population.
	They really want to break up these areas.
	They're going to make money available to move people out and to integrate them more into general British society.
	But what our producer is saying, that every single thing that the UK government is doing, every plan they have, Pretty much will end in aggravating the situation and not helping it.
	And he is actually questioning if this is done purposefully or not.
	Well, there has been a number of professorial experts on some of the outlying TV networks, France 24.
	Mm-hmm.
	And these other ones that nobody listens to except the aficionados.
	That indicate that somebody's been trying to...
	Although they've accused the Muslim communities of trying to goad the United States into doing stupid things.
	There's some evidence, at least they believe there's evidence, they're trying to goad the Muslim population into...
	Into rioting.
	Yeah, into rioting.
	So you can kettle them and then deal with them in some way or rest them all.
	I don't know what the long-term plan is, but yes, that's exactly right.
	And now we're seeing this.
	This is going to happen everywhere.
	We're seeing this in the Netherlands.
	We're seeing Germany.
	Wow, Germany has this movement.
	This is really scary.
	Let me see.
	The movement is called Pegida.
	Yeah, yeah.
	There's a lot of coverage of this, by the way, on those same channels.
	P-E-G-I-D-A. The patriotic Europeans...
	The French are all over it.
	Yeah, the patriotic Europeans against the Islamization of the West.
	But really, the German is a more interesting term that's being used.
	Patriotische Europäische Europäische gegen die Islamisierung des Abendlandes.
	And Abendlandes...
	It's a new term for what the actual translation is.
	Something strange.
	Something with an O. But it really means all of Europe.
	But kind of like non-Muslim Europe is the way it's used.
	And this term is interesting.
	That is now the Abendlandist term.
	Oh, the Occident is what it translates.
	What is the Occident?
	It translates literally to Occident.
	What is an Occident?
	Occident was a term for Occidental Europe.
	Wait, wait, no, I take it back.
	I think that Occident was referring to the eastern, the most far eastern orient.
	Let's take a look and look it up.
	Countries of the West, especially you're in contract.
	Okay.
	It's the ones that bump up against the Orient.
	The Occident and the Orient used to be the two terms.
	It refers to Western world, contrasts with the Orient, blah, blah, blah.
	Okay.
	Occident movement, French far-right political group, the Occident and American Jewish advocate.
	And it's interesting.
	We should do some research.
	We need to stay on this.
	It's not getting the coverage I think it deserves.
	And they had this big protest lined up.
	Which kind of got cancelled because the founder of this movement, Lutz Bachmann, somehow a picture of him with a Hitler mustache and the hair like Hitler showed up on Facebook.
	I don't know if it was his picture or if it was doctored or whatever, but it was very easy to say, hey, the guy who's against this religious group, Muslims, he's Hitler!
	So he had to not show up at that rally.
	It's really interesting that you're seeing the French, the Germans, the Scandinavians, really the only people not protesting on the street are the Dutch, who are too busy sitting at home watching TV. Well, their phones are tapped.
	Their phones are tapped.
	Which is the reason we're not protesting here either.
	Well, we don't have the same problem.
	We don't have...
	For some reason, and this actually is very bad when I think about it, the Muslims in America don't seem to be intent on killing us, or Jews, or whatever.
	No, they're running businesses.
	Yeah, which leads me to believe that we're probably behind all this crap again.
	We might be, but the Muslim culture in general, especially the one Lebanese and Israeli, Jewish...
	Egyptian to a point.
	They're all business guys.
	They like to open small businesses.
	They're not going to really cause a lot of problems when they're happy, you know, when they're running a small store.
	So I'm thinking maybe this fits in with that notice the president said about, you know, we have another state of emergency because of the certain people who are disturbing the peace process in the Middle East, which would literally be Israel and Palestine and Something is being brewed, is my feeling.
	Well, there's action in Turkey, which is kind of interesting.
	It's not been reported at all, where Erdogan has done an interesting little political maneuver.
	Why don't you play this clip?
	The Erdogan grabs power clip.
	The Turkish president, Recep Tayyip Erdogan, has chaired his first ever cabinet meeting.
	It's something which hasn't been done by a Turkish head of state in more than a decade.
	The opposition says that it's another attempt by Erdogan to further expand his powers.
	From Istanbul, Al Jazeera's Bernard Smith reports.
	Exercising his constitutional right to convene a cabinet meeting is seen by some as the clearest indication so far that Recep Tayyip Erdogan is remoulding his presidency from ceremonial to executive.
	Normally the Turkish Prime Minister sits at the top of the table, but this time Ahmad Davutoglu had to move over.
	On Monday, Erdogan was in charge.
	These two politicians have worked long enough to know the real power of their position in the party.
	So Davutoglu always emphasizes the leadership of Erdogan.
	Opposition parties say the President is trying to grab power.
	The Constitution has left it so weak that the President could act arbitrarily if he could get away with it.
	It looks as if under the circumstances he can.
	The political environment is such that he can play such a partisan role in violation of the Constitution.
	Yeah, he's supposed to be a non-partisan, and he's not.
	And so he's kicked the prime minister out and took over his position, essentially.
	The guy was sitting there with a very annoyed look on his face, the prime minister.
	And Erdogan's just, you know, he's taken over the place.
	Big changes are going to take place in Turkey.
	Oh, yeah.
	And we're seeing this in relation to Iran.
	Turkey and Iraq now are going to construct an oil pipeline together.
	Which makes nothing but sense.
	I need to go back one second to the shape-shifting Jew.
	This term was used earlier, many years ago.
	And you will not believe by whom?
	Woodrow Wilson.
	Borat.
	43 in the morning.
	I am in a nest of Jews.
	They have cleverly shifted their shapes.
	One of them has taken the form of a little old woman.
	You know, I hate to tell you, say this, or even make this assertion, because it does sound a little crazy, but I'll bet you that's the origin of the idea.
	I'm telling you, I'm telling you.
	Somebody saw the movie.
	Find it elsewhere.
	And it was in the back of their head, and they said, you know...
	Shapeshifting Jews!
	Where did I hear that?
	I've heard that before.
	Shapeshifting Jews, I guess they're out there.
	Let me report on that.
	This is a writer.
	Isn't that great?
	I don't know where I got that.
	I just remember it vaguely.
	That's how the best things are invented.
	Okay, I want to change topics.
	Well, no, you can't.
	I need one more.
	One more about ISIS. ISIS released a new video, John.
	Oh, I have a clip for that.
	I have a clip for that, too.
	Well let's play, let's do dueling clips.
	I just have the audio of the thing.
	Of Jihadi John?
	Yeah.
	Oh okay, play that.
	To the Prime Minister of Japan, although you are more than 8,500 kilometers away from the Islamic State, You willingly have volunteered to take part in this crusade.
	You have proudly donated 100 million to kill our women and children to destroy the homes of the Muslims.
	So the life of this Japanese citizen will cost you 100 million.
	And in an attempt to stop the expansion of the Islamic State, you also donated another 100 million to train the Murtadeen against the Mujahideen.
	And so, the life of this Japanese citizen will cost you another 100 million.
	And to the Japanese public, just as how your government has made the foolish decision to pay 200 million to fight the Islamic State, You now have 72 hours to pressure your government in making a wise decision by paying the 200 million to save the lives of your citizens.
	And this video, of course, once again, produced, I'm sorry, discovered by SITE, S-I-T-E, the only place that is the origin of these videos.
	And we have the high-quality version in the show notes, 689.noagendanotes.com.
	Here's the problem with this one.
	It's green screen.
	And it's obvious as there is shadow on each side of the kneeling hostages, but on the opposing sides.
	So you can't do that in the desert with one light source that only works if you're lit in a studio with green screen.
	And this became, immediately people are all over this, so this will have to die away, and they've got to do better.
	And I don't think people are, only the public, because the mainstream media doesn't seem to have a clue about this, and here's my crap ABC report on Jihad, John, in kind of a background, talking about how they're analyzing this, trying to figure out where they're standing.
	With that new terror threat, a chilling new video from ISIS, and the most wanted man in the world, Jihadi John, as he's called, now threatening two hostages from Japan, demanding ransom.
	Tonight, a race to save their lives and a race to locate that brutal killer.
	We have seen him before his eyes through that black mask.
	We've heard his voice, that British accent.
	Videos in broad daylight, so why can't the world find him?
	Martha Raddatz standing by on the hunt, but first, ABC's chief investigative correspondent Brian Ross tonight on the demand for money and whether it will be met.
	He is the personification of terror.
	In that Vice article, they actually say, people who say these beheading videos are fake, they're so wrong.
	Why would they have to fake the videos?
	They behead people all the time.
	That's not fake.
	They have no reason to fake beheading videos.
	Well...
	Well, they're fake.
	They're fake.
	Yeah, they're very fake.
	That's probably true, but that doesn't mean, you know, they could be done by somebody other than these guys.
	Yeah, they do behead people all the time, and there's plenty of videos.
	Yeah, it's done by site.
	Not like this video.
	S-I-T-E. That's the organization.
	They're making them.
	They can't be any other way.
	So they continue with this report on ABC, and they have little arrows, and they point, they're going to look at, they see there's a rock on the hill, and they want to find the guy.
	I guess they want to fly over.
	There he is down there chewing the guy.
	Oh, I see.
	So they're analyzing the projected green screen image to see if they can find out where it is.
	It's the same place where the Mars rover is.
	Yeah, I'm sorry.
	I really can't.
	I know I can't help myself.
	Listen, we're on this topic.
	Jeremy Scahill is on Democracy Now!
	And he actually...
	I am actually enjoying his analysis of stuff, even though it's pretty...
	It's...
	I just enjoy it.
	But here's his little analysis on the status of Al-Awlaki, who is being blamed for everything, because even though he's dead...
	Posthumously.
	Posthumously.
	And he makes a nice little commentary here I thought was worth playing on the show.
	And finally, we have 20 seconds.
	What's repeated on so many of the networks, that Al-Awlaki, before he was killed in a U.S. drone strike, was behind this terror attack on Charlie Hebdo.
	Well, look, I mean, they try to link Anwar al-Awlaki to every plot under the sun.
	The fact is that Anwar al-Awlaki's writings and speeches clearly have inspired so-called lone wolf terrorists.
	No doubt about that.
	Whether he was operationally in charge of this is It's actually kind of a joke.
	Anwar Al-Awlaki was not even mid-level management in AQAP. They're exploiting his legacy because of the power of nightmares.
	He speaks in English.
	He aims his message at a Western English-speaking audience.
	So the United States has elevated his status within the organization.
	AQAP has a leadership structure.
	Anwar Al-Awlaki was not a senior figure within AQAP. Well, that's the media doing that, if anybody is.
	Yeah, and that's what he's pointing out.
	That's good.
	That is good.
	Meanwhile, now that Australia has had their moment, their incredible lone wolf terror moment...
	It's the same playbook.
	Let's terrorize the people.
	The foreshore of Circular Quay.
	Eerily empty and quiet on Thursday afternoon after police evacuated the area when an unattended package was found on a ferry.
	Police were alerted about 1.30pm about a possible suspicious object.
	Soon after, ferries, trains and buses were disrupted and the station cordoned off.
	We just saw a lot of cop cars coming, so we were trying to figure out what was going on, and obviously it just exploded into a big situation like this.
	Yes, it's great to have the police here, but I think there should be a warning people about what is taking place.
	My daughter's petrified at the moment.
	Yes, that's what we want.
	We want you to be petrified.
	Be afraid, be afraid!
	The public were quick to spread the news on social media.
	Witnesses say police arrived swiftly.
	Authorities and sniffer dogs were later seen investigating a ferry called Friendship.
	I'm gonna call bullcrap on this.
	I'm gonna say this is pure terrorizing the public.
	The police were on the scene very quickly.
	It was a suspicious package.
	Come on.
	What was it?
	What was in the package?
	Nothing!
	About an hour into the shutdown, police confirmed the package was not suspicious.
	They were, however, reluctant to give more details until the investigation concludes.
	Yeah, you'll never get details.
	It was a sandwich.
	Come on.
	Dirty diapers.
	Totally.
	It's annoying.
	You see it happen.
	It's like, oh, people.
	Don't hurt people like that.
	You know, I want to give you credit for bringing something up that was kind of interesting that nobody in the mainstream, again, is a mainstream media report, seems to understand or report on, and now it's kind of deteriorated into blaming the pilot.
	Oh, yes.
	It's still not being reported properly.
	No.
	First, I want to mention...
	I was going to get the clip, but I decided, you know, there's enough work to do.
	I don't need to clip our own show.
	But I will reiterate what you said about a Nimbus cloud.
	When you see one, the big old cloud up there, and you go into...
	Column Nimbus.
	A big one.
	Yeah, the big monsters.
	Mm-hmm.
	No one ever goes into it because you can get thrown out.
	You can get thrown out forward.
	You can get thrown out sideways.
	You can get thrown up and out.
	And you can get thrown down.
	And that's what happened to this plane.
	The plane gets apparently thrown up and then thrown down and it crashed.
	That's...
	My understanding of what probably happened, that's not the way it's reported.
	No.
	Listen to the Nimbus cloud insinuation report, and this is all they have to say.
	A major new clue in the mystery of that doomed AirAsia flight.
	Tonight, Indonesian officials claiming radar, showing that in its final minutes, the plane climbed even higher and unusually fast, 6,000 feet per minute, then stalling, saying that no passenger jet, not even a fighter jet, would attempt to climb that quickly.
	I know.
	And they're leaving it there.
	The narrative now is...
	Wait a minute.
	Did he say Ali Akbar when he went into that amazing climb?
	Going up so fast for...
	Why was he climbing so fast?
	He must be incompetent.
	So I will reiterate, every Airman, everyone who has an aviation license, is certified to fly, has been taught, that cloud you never go into.
	That cloud do not go in there.
	So it had nothing to do with the climb.
	The correct analysis of the radar, whatever they have, is the aircraft Ascended or reached, but it wasn't a climb.
	It wasn't a powered climb.
	This is the forces inside these clouds are beyond.
	It can be lightning.
	It can be hail.
	All kinds of crap can be going on there.
	They don't have a meteorologist on staff at ABC who can tell them about this.
	Apparently not.
	So they make it sound like the pilot, for some reason, decided to climb beyond the capability of the plane.
	And believe me, I think this plane started to come apart on the way up.
	It definitely came apart on the way down.
	But structurally, it can't last.
	It gets torn apart.
	This is what also can happen.
	Where is the dildo in the boot guy, Richard Quest?
	Shouldn't he be telling people this?
	Well, he's not on ABC. He's not telling it on CNN. No, they don't care.
	Nobody cares.
	Here's another one.
	I caught a screwball clip.
	James Holmes.
	I just think this was funny.
	The Joker.
	Because of these descriptive reporters.
	I don't know where they're being trained nowadays.
	Have you seen a picture of him recently?
	No, no.
	Okay, well, they had pictures of him.
	He's got a black beard and black hair, sideburns, and a mustache.
	What happened to his red hair?
	He grew out in years.
	And then they show him, as they're giving the report, they show a...
	Sketch artist, the artist that works inside the court, court sketch of him, and he's got a beard and a mustache, and it's all black and black hair.
	We can't have actual photos or video?
	That's for both the courtroom.
	They always have to know because it says click, click, click, click, click, click, click.
	It would be the same annoying thing we see at these press conferences.
	And so they make artists come in and sketch, which they can sell later.
	Mm-hmm.
	Anyway, so James Holmes clip.
	Now tell me this, what's wrong with this clip?
	Today in court, James Holmes looked more like the college student he used to be.
	Clean cut, wearing glasses, even laughing with his attorneys.
	A starkly different look than this, shortly after the Aurora movie theater rampage.
	That doesn't sound like the drawing.
	Well, they showed the drawing as he said the words, clean cut.
	Now, the beard was trimmed and a mustache, but clean cut does not, it means you don't have a beard and a mustache.
	But that's what he used.
	He used the word clean cut.
	Because in his other picture, he was kind of shaggy.
	This is bull crap.
	This is the kind of reporting we have to deal with.
	It's just a pet peeve of mine.
	Yeah, I know.
	I know.
	Clean cut.
	Back to the plane for a minute.
	I thought you were done.
	Well, no, the chat room just said someone said something interesting.
	The reason why they can't actually talk about the plane coming apart at those speeds and that type of ascent or descent is because then the whole 9-11 theory falls apart of these planes flying at 2,000 feet at 500 miles an hour, which is technically not possible for these aircraft.
	I don't think that's the reason they don't say these things.
	No, but I like it.
	Yeah, you would like it, but it's nonsense.
	Alright, let's see what else we got.
	I have, well, Iran.
	Then we should take a break.
	But Iran, these, so this is another part of the President's State of the Union.
	Whatever you do, don't mess up my negotiation with Iran.
	It's so incredibly important.
	My assertion, as you know, that this is not about nuclear.
	This is about gas going to Europe and they need to engage Iran.
	The foreign minister, while people are hanging out in Switzerland doing all this negotiating, the foreign minister of Iran was hanging out with the dudes over there in Afghanistan.
	And so they're now working on transiting gas through Afghanistan, which is an interesting thing.
	Development.
	In the Senate, Bob Menendez, who is from the Foreign Relations Committee, that's what this little clip is from, he's a Democrat, and he was not happy with what the President said.
	You know, I have to be honest with you.
	The more I hear from the administration and its quotes, the more it sounds like talking points that come straight out of Tehran.
	And it feeds to the Iranian narrative of victimization when they are the ones with Original Sin, an illicit nuclear weapons program going back over the course of 20 years that they are unwilling to To come clean on.
	He goes on for a long time about that.
	I thought it was interesting that he's a Democrat who's not in on the game.
	But if you really look at all...
	And this is new...
	This new feed that I've found, which is just all stories about Iran.
	It's very interesting.
	It's also on the Noah Jenner News Network.
	Noah Jenner News Network dot com.
	And they had this story of...
	They translated all the headlines of newspapers...
	Some of the headlines.
	Abdullah Abdul has expressed Kabul's interest in a conclusion of a comprehensive deal with Iran.
	Afghanistan seeks to import natural gas from Iran.
	Ford Minister Zarif has said that Tehran attaches strategic importance to Afghan development and stability.
	A commander of the naval forces of the Iranian army said Iran sends a message of peace and friendship to all neighboring countries.
	They have a warship now in the Gulf of Aden.
	What is the next one?
	Afghan President Ghani has been invited to pay an official visit to Iran.
	These are things that are very important on this type of level.
	These two countries, and then Iran and Russia have signed a security and defense deal, which among other things clears the way for delivery to Iran of the S-300 missile system.
	So we're in these talks, and the talks are Russia, China, it's the 5 plus 1, United States, United Kingdom, and then Germany.
	And the only reason can be for something other than stopping some kind of nuclear proliferation.
	What does Germany give a crap?
	Why are they invited to the table?
	No, they're invited because they are the biggest country in the EU. And then the Iranian...
	And they want cheap gas.
	Yes.
	So now Iran is also saying, hey, we can run the country even if oil prices plunge to $25 a barrel.
	That's the Iranian Minister of Economic and Financial Affairs.
	But nowhere in any of these headlines is anything about nuclear.
	Because that's not what it's about.
	And Hillary Clinton now coming out saying, oh, more sanctions on Iran would be a serious strategic error.
	Well, we know Hillary Clinton cares only about gas and oil.
	She is Miss Baku there in Azerbaijan.
	So it hasn't showed up yet, but it's going to.
	And when that happens, you'll say, oh, I heard that on the No Agenda show.
	Okay.
	You're not completely in on it.
	You're not buying in on it yet.
	No, not really.
	But I can't refute it.
	I can refute the connection with Afghanistan.
	It's been around forever because the Iranians were bitching and moaning about us trying to negotiate with the Taliban, which they said you can't negotiate with these assholes.
	And they wanted to eliminate it.
	And the only reason for that is because they do have some oil deals.
	And the pipeline thing through Afghanistan is nothing new.
	That was pre-days 9-11 when there was a big conspiracy about Unical trying to do a deal.
	Was it Unical or UNESCO? It was UNESCO. That's the children's fund from the UN. Right.
	Unical, yeah.
	Unical was doing a deal to block some other pipeline company from running a long pipeline through Afghanistan.
	Right, right.
	And that was...
	That's been going on forever, and when I first saw it, it was pre-no-agenda days, of course, I said it's bullcrap, and then, of course, it was documented very carefully that, yeah, this is what was going on.
	So this is a complicated situation.
	It is.
	Well, also, Slumberger, the huge company, right?
	A hugely valuable company.
	Yes, huge, huge, huge.
	They just bought a 45% stake in a Russian oil drilling company.
	How does that work?
	Aren't we supposed to hate them?
	I don't know what the deal is.
	Putin hates gays?
	I don't understand how we can be over there doing that.
	I don't know.
	Maybe there's no gays at Schlumberger.
	Well, anyway, all eyes on Iran.
	All eyes on this...
	And now the House or the Senate, they're trying to put a bill forward, and I guess Netanyahu will also be bitching about this.
	Why, why, why, why, why is my question.
	It's very confusing, but I just don't have a good feeling about it only being about how much centrifuge action they got going on.
	We'll find out.
	And I will dedicate myself to doing just that.
	And you know why?
	I can do that full time.
	Because...
	I'm looking for flubs.
	I'm going to show myself by donating to no agenda.
	Imagine all the people who could do that.
	Oh yeah, that'd be fab.
	Yeah, on no agenda.
	You want to hear flubs?
	Here, play the Chris Matthew Bumbles and start thanking people.
	You got a flub?
	I don't know.
	I'm liking flubs.
	Constellation alongside Jake Gyllenhorn in New York.
	Good one.
	I like that.
	I like that.
	You have more of those?
	No, I'll get more.
	It's funny.
	I like that.
	When professionals screw up.
	Yeah, he's supposed to be a pro.
	He's been working the business forever.
	He can't read the guy's name.
	There you go.
	Gillenhorn.
	James Michael DuPont in Lawrence, Kansas.
	I want to thank him for $187.
	He's the guy who set up the script, the voting script.
	Yeah.
	Cool.
	And he supported us with a donation.
	Excellent.
	And you also got the bag check message.
	The phrase bag check no agenda in Jewish equals 187.
	That's interesting.
	Yeah, there you go.
	All right.
	And if they can move this thing around, because somebody left a huge note.
	This is a, it looks like a birthday note.
	I don't know.
	Dear John Adam, thank you for your courage.
	I'm a long time boner, first time donor.
	My boyfriend hit me in the mouth.
	This is from Rayvon Kelman.
	Oh yeah, Rayvon.
	She sent a couple of things in.
	Did she send a picture?
	No.
	Rayvon, where are you?
	I loved you guys from the first show I heard, but didn't get to listen often.
	In the meantime, between time, I drive a medical cab in Long Island.
	You guys get me through the day.
	I've been going through the archives, listening to old shows, catching up, and I felt it was past due to make a donation.
	What a better time than the new year?
	And birthday tomorrow being January 23rd, how about a fitting 1, 2, 3, hence the donation amount of 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.
	Yeah, we'd love to do that.
	It's a birthday.
	She sent this note in, and I sent to Eric, and he put it in the spreadsheet.
	That's why it's so big.
	Mm-hmm.
	She said he's a single dad of a teenage daughter.
	It's not easy.
	Through the years, I've really grown up.
	Many people can say that.
	She goes on about them.
	And then she brings up some people might say that you guys are racist.
	What?!
	How can we be racist?
	She says, I don't believe that.
	Being a black Guyanese woman, she's from Guiana, that grew up in Queens, I can tell you that I've experienced true racism.
	Anyone who would call you a racist should call you an equal opportunity racist because you guys make fun of everyone.
	Yeah.
	And I love it.
	Which means we are inherently not racist.
	Exactly.
	I'm glad you guys are not afraid to tell the truth when someone of color is being a douche.
	Even when someone of color is being a douche, apparently that can't be done on the mainstream media.
	Sometimes when I'm driving my parents with my patients and listening to you guys, I burst out laughing.
	She's in an ambulance, I guess, right?
	She's listening on earphones and she starts laughing.
	Disconcerting.
	Someone in the back going...
	Hey, man, I'm dying over here.
	Stop laughing.
	Anyway, she's got the de-douching.
	She needs a de-douching, she says.
	Yeah, but she also, since she's asking for it, she wanted to...
	She says Barbara Walter's drunk again.
	We don't have that.
	Diane Sawyer, maybe.
	Yeah, Diane Sawyer, but we...
	We did.
	She's all good.
	You've been de-douched.
	Drunk again.
	Drinking cyanide.
	Drunk again.
	Boom, choccalaca.
	Boom, choccalaca.
	Everything's requested.
	Anyway, it was a sweet note.
	Ron Williams, Scotts Valley, California, 12345.
	Another 12345 from Adam Petrick in New Liskard, Ontario.
	One, two, three, four, five.
	Sir David Koss in Arlington, Texas.
	Hello, Sir David Koss.
	A hundred bucks.
	The douchebag check guy got to me.
	I'd like to officially pay my baggage fee, please.
	The baggage fee is $100.
	Chad Inman, Los Angeles, California, $100.
	Lars Gray Sorensen in Haslev, Denmark.
	He says, even with the high taxes in Denmark, which I've always tried him about, you'd have to support the best podcast in the world.
	Danish, Hannah Carlson in Karlstad, Sweden, $83.
	Nice to have some Scandinavian sports.
	Brian Mancuso in Terryville, Connecticut, $80.86.
	Noah Long.
	He actually has a douchebag call-out, which was missed.
	Brian Mancuso says, Dave White is a douchebag.
	Douchebag!
	He didn't say why.
	Noel Longanathan in Chemside, West Queensland, Australia, $80.
	Chris Perry, $77.77, Silver Spring, Maryland.
	Richard Schull in Circle Pine, Minnesota Nuts, $76.30.
	He did send a note in.
	Let's see what it was.
	I still have it.
	Yeah, Minnesota.
	A donation, albeit small, completes an awakening a few years in the making.
	Seems to be the right amount given to Glenn Beck and his network, The Blaze, for my one-year subscription.
	But no longer!
	You have completed the awakening to the programming and the propaganda that is Something.
	In the media.
	In the mainstream media.
	Yeah.
	And much of the alternative media.
	Yes.
	All's bad.
	And he goes on with kind of complimenting us for the good work we do.
	Oh, he has a 30.
	Oh, wait.
	Here's one.
	Here.
	Put him down for the birthday list.
	Oh.
	Yeah, he wants it for six.
	We do them on the spot in advance.
	January 25th, 35th birthday.
	Richard...
	No reason to make a big sigh.
	No, well, it is because you don't understand.
	You need a pen.
	You wouldn't understand.
	Send Adam pens.
	Oh, it's not about the pen.
	And what is...
	Give it to me again.
	Richard Scholl, S-H-U. Yeah, I got that.
	How old?
	He will be 35 on January 25th.
	Okay.
	You're like a 12-year-old.
	Really?
	Really?
	I'm like a 12-year-old?
	That's really what you have to say?
	Yeah.
	With all the moaning and groaning.
	I'm just giving you the guy's thing.
	I didn't send it in.
	Sorry.
	Chardik Von Kran.
	In Juppel.
	Liege.
	Okay, you can correct it.
	Liege.
	Charlie von der Kran.
	Von der Kran, I said that.
	Correct it.
	You did.
	And he's a ham.
	Juppel.
	That's why he came in with 73.
	ON5 Dvorak.
	ON5 VDK. He said almost all the letters of my name.
	Oscar November 5, Victor Delta Kilo.
	Yeah.
	Kilo.
	Maxwell Frey, Brooklyn, New York, 6969.
	Hasn't missed an episode since 2010.
	Wow.
	Put some karma on you at the end of the list.
	Love you guys, he says.
	Thank you.
	Sir Schwartz in Denmark, 6969.
	Todd Dobbs in Scottsdale, Arizona, 6890.
	You'd like to hear no real conflict, apparently, at some point in the future.
	Everybody loves that one.
	Of course.
	We'll put it at the end of the show.
	There's no real conflict!
	I got it there for you.
	Done.
	Todd Dobbs, James Murray in Huntington Beach, California.
	He voted for NeuroGender under the comedy, entertainment, and politics news category in the podcast awards.
	Yes.
	And these podcast awards could take off.
	Well, you got Dennis Miller and Emily Sex.
	Yeah.
	Sex?
	What is Sex with Emily?
	Yeah, Sex with Emily.
	Emily Morse.
	That's what drew Dennis Miller.
	He wanted to meet her.
	It's possible.
	That's the way you book things.
	Daniel Torello, Charleston, South Carolina, 66-33.
	Jared Wolfe in Appleton, New York.
	Gregory Ball in Walsand, Tine, and Wiener, UK. 55-55.
	His first donation of 2015.
	Should make him a knight.
	He's not on the knight list.
	Can I sigh again?
	Because everything's all messed up on the back office.
	Do I get to sigh now?
	Yeah, you can sigh.
	I didn't say he could do the lip smack.
	Let me see if Gregory Ball is on the list.
	Probably not.
	Oh, he's not.
	Yeah, I know.
	He would be in colored.
	Yeah, so it sucks.
	And he wants to be Sir...
	Balan.
	B-A-L-O-N. I don't know.
	We have to look it up while I'm reading.
	It must mean something.
	I guess.
	Computer Solutions and Services, 5533.
	Cohen Prahl in Aurora, Colorado, 5533.
	Huh.
	Where did that donation came from?
	That number.
	This spreadsheet is annoying.
	It jumps around.
	This is Kevin Dills in Charlotte, North Carolina.
	Double nickels on the dime.
	Michael Astfalk in Berlin, Deutschland.
	55-10.
	Double nickels on the dime.
	Houston Things, LLC. In Seattle, Washington.
	Double nickels on the dime.
	Marsan Brzezinski.
	Related?
	I don't know.
	5123 is in the UK. Could be.
	Mac and cheese for you, he says.
	Back at you.
	Kevin Payne in Richmond, Virginia.
	5069.
	Jmoonnet.net.
	Jmoonnet.net.
	LeGrand, Oregon.
	5033.
	John White, Jackson, Tennessee, 50-01, and the rest of these are $50 donors from John Myers in Westminster, California.
	Jason Daniels in Dallas, Texas.
	Tim Abel in Bergfield, Berkshire, UK. Brandon Merrick.
	Merrick.
	I see Mink.
	I see Mink.
	M-E-N-C is what I see.
	Yeah, it does look like that.
	Okay, well, it's Merrick or Mink.
	Mink, I'm pretty sure.
	Tempe, Arizona.
	Sage, it was a great name, by the way.
	Sage Felker in Minneapolis and Minnesota.
	Hey everybody, Sage Felker with you here at the top of the hour on Z100. He says he's got accounting for something.
	A thousand dollars knighthood.
	Is he on the list?
	I believe so.
	He also wants his boarding pass.
	Yeah, I'll make sure that happens.
	We're almost full, by the way, on the boarding pass.
	So Sage says he's a black knight.
	Apparently.
	That could be, but he has to have asked for it before to qualify.
	Let's give him Black Knight.
	It's on the list as Black Knight.
	Oh, it is on.
	Well, then he's Black Knight.
	Bob Wessonar.
	Wessonar.
	Wessonar.
	Andy Clements.
	These are both parts unknown.
	William Roche.
	What is it?
	Guillaume Roche.
	Roche.
	From France.
	Roche.
	This is our only French donor.
	We can't pronounce his name.
	No wonder!
	Yes!
	There's no agenda show.
	No, there's no agenda show.
	Lose points with me.
	This cannot pronounce my name.
	Martijn van Galen Lost.
	Martijn van Galen Lost.
	Yes.
	He's tweeting now that he donates solely to hear you pronounce his name.
	Martijn van Galen Lost.
	Nice.
	That's right, isn't it?
	Yeah, perfect.
	Spot on.
	John B. Tennis, which I think is another great name.
	Yeah, it is.
	And West Lynn, Oregon.
	And Sir David Trotsky in Roseville, Illinois, and our buddy down the street from me, Benjamin Smith in Oakland, Oaktown, California.
	We want to thank all these folks for helping us out.
	And remember, we do have a show on Thursday.
	There's a lot of people that have listened to the show for years and have never donated.
	We'd like to get them on board because you'll feel a lot better about yourself if you do because that's how we managed to do this show without advertising.
	And you don't want advertising, believe me.
	Because advertising makes you the product.
	And it restricts us from doing stuff.
	Yes.
	Lots of stuff.
	Like pretty much everything.
	Dvorak.org.
	Slash N.A. Alright, first I've got to correct something here.
	Diana Carruthers, who donated on 688, also wanted a birthday call-out to her friend and mentor, Keith Carlisle, who's turning another year older.
	That was on January 16th.
	And we congratulate her.
	Francine Reynolds turning 24.
	I was on the N.T. turned 24.
	Hannah Pilling 25 on the 13th.
	Rayvon Kelman celebrating on January 23rd.
	Susan and John Myers say happy birthday to Philip.
	And Richard Scholl will be 35 on the 25th of January.
	Happy birthday from all your friends here at the Staff of Management at the Best Podcast in the Universe.
	Okay, let me see if I have anything.
	I've got some notes here.
	We've got the bang-bang stuff.
	We've got all that.
	Then we have...
	Let's see.
	We have Sir Dwayne Melenchon adding Sheriff of Oregon to his title.
	And then we have one, two, we have three knightings.
	So I would request...
	We have Andre Schmidt, Sage Felker, and Gregory Ball all come to the podium, please.
	So we grab our blades, our trusty blades...
	Andre, Sage, and Gregory, thank you very much for supporting the best podcast in university, the amount of $1,000 or more.
	You are now welcome to the Roundtable of the Knights and Danes.
	I hereby pronounce the KV, Sir Day-Day, Knight of Lake Lehman, Black Knight, Sage Felker, and Gregory Ball become Sir Galen.
	For you, we have Rent Boys and Chardonnay, Hookers and Blow, Progressive Rock and Russian Imperial Stout, Root Beer and Legos, Ass Cream and Bear Fillings, Cannabis and Cabernet, Wenches and Beer, Bach in the middle of Bonkits and Bourbon, or some Mutton and Mead for you.
	Very nice.
	Go to knowagenonation.com slash rings.
	Thank you.
	Really appreciate the support.
	And by the way, the rings have been reordered.
	People have complained.
	They had to be reordered about a month ago when I finally paid.
	And now they're being manufactured in China.
	It hurts, doesn't it?
	It hurts to pay.
	It hurts.
	And so as soon as they get shipped and Eric's back at the home base, he will ship them all within a short period of time and you all get a ring.
	I need to do a quick jobs karma and regular karma for everybody who supported us today, including those under $50 for anonymity reasons or you're on a subscription cycle, which is also highly appreciated.
	Jobs, jobs, jobs, and jobs.
	Let's vote for jobs!
	Yay!
	Welcome, all you new knights.
	Good to have you here.
	Rave for the knights.
	This is interesting.
	Okay.
	At Ferguson, of course, we had the grand jury did not indict Officer Darren Wilson.
	Right.
	And we immediately had the president and we had the attorney general go out there and say, we're going to do a federal, federal probe.
	We're going to prosecute if we can.
	What exactly have you learned?
	Prosecutors at the Justice Department have begun putting together the legal memo to basically rationalize why they're not going to bring federal civil rights charges against Mr.
	Wilson.
	It's a very high bar to make one of these cases.
	You have to have some of his mindset.
	He has to be able to prove his history of having racial issues, and the evidence here does not support It seems like they've moved pretty quickly, relatively speaking, on this, right?
	Well, the FBI really pushed hard in the days after the shooting.
	They sent about 40 agents into Ferguson.
	They interviewed about 200 people.
	And they found no real evidence to support the civil rights case.
	This is a bomb.
	Hold on a second.
	Before you go on...
	The FBI brings in 200 people, or they bring in all these, how many people?
	And then they interviewed 400 or something.
	200, yes.
	200 people or whatever.
	They didn't do half of this.
	They didn't interview anybody when Flight 800 went down.
	I remember this distinctly.
	The Flight 800, that TWA flight that was mysteriously blown out of the sky.
	They blamed it on a leaking gas tank or something, if you remember.
	This is free, no agenda era.
	I remember distinctly They're interviewing locals who saw it and all the rest.
	No, nobody ever came to say anything to us.
	So, okay, they were out to get this guy, apparently.
	So they came in with a horde of FBI agents.
	They couldn't get any goods on him.
	So they were going door to door from the sounds of it.
	Hey, you think he'd ever say anything?
	He'd ever do anything to make him look like a racist?
	Anything.
	Did he buy licorice?
	Nothing.
	That's sort of where we are.
	Antonio French, you're there.
	How's this going to play, the reaction that we're likely to see in St.
	Louis County and Ferguson and elsewhere?
	Yeah, this is what I'm worried about.
	Yeah, I think you have a lot of people who will be disappointed if this does turn out to be the case.
	I think the community and the family wanted a day in court an opportunity to see all the evidence laid out, cross-examined, and it looks like that that's not going to happen.
	I hope we do not have any violence as a result of this.
	The next steps, I think, are legislative change, try to make sure that in cases like this we get a special prosecutor by law, and to create a new level of civilian oversight over police departments here in St.
	Louis.
	Here's what I'm learning about this.
	This is very strange.
	The Attorney General made a big stink about this, and he was way in the limelight.
	Then the President was backing him up.
	Hey, we're going to prosecute this federally.
	And now they're like, oh, nothing to see here?
	Hope no one riots?
	If I was on Fox News, I'd say this was a conspiracy to have riots.
	Make a riot.
	Make a riot, yeah.
	I predict a riot.
	I'm not going to put that in the red book.
	You should do that.
	You can't predict a riot and get it in the red book.
	Yeah, I can.
	I certainly can.
	You can say it.
	Obviously, there's going to be a riot of some sort.
	I only have two more things.
	Apparently, Sharpton didn't get enough payoff.
	Well, yeah, there's that angle.
	You're right.
	Sharpton is advising the White House on all this.
	Yeah.
	And then it just doesn't happen?
	Maybe he did get the payoff.
	Exactly the opposite.
	We don't know.
	Yeah, we don't know.
	But this is strange, and it's going to cause a crap storm.
	A riot.
	Yeah, it's going to cause a riot, yeah.
	Let me play a clip before you, so we can go back and forth, because there's not that many clips left.
	Yeah.
	This is one where I thought I caught you.
	You know the way our show operates.
	We kind of see the truth by being logical.
	And then you see when we also, as somebody mentioned, which I put in the newsletter, how everything relates to a movie or some other promotion of some other entertainment product.
	Every once in a while, somebody in the mainstream media, a pundit perhaps, kind of catches one of these things by accident and doesn't even know they stumbled upon it.
	And then they just pass it off as just, maybe it's just a conspiracy.
	I don't know what I'm thinking.
	That's so coincident.
	That's funny.
	It worked out like that.
	So here we have an example of what I just described with Chris Matthews.
	We're stumbling on what's apparently going on so we can have a female president.
	This is Chris Matthews on women.
	Frank, you're a creator of the cultural scene.
	What I'm fascinated with is that women characters now are the most interesting by far.
	Certainly Mary Crowley on Downton Abbey is the only really truly fascinating person in that show.
	You mentioned the good wife earlier.
	Right, the good wife, Julia Margulies, Margulies.
	And they're almost like Joan Fontaine.
	They are flashbacks to those strong women pictures, you know, Greer Garson back in the 40s, a wartime situation.
	What are we getting?
	Are we getting ready sort of as a country for a woman president?
	I think it's a conspiracy.
	I just think, look, state of affairs, Secretary of State, African-American woman is president.
	You've got, of course, Madam Secretary, where you tell me, only place a very impressive, nice, actually, Secretary of State.
	It's a conspiracy, I tell you.
	Hollywood, they're getting us ready.
	It's a conspiracy, I tell you.
	Get the public ready.
	Line them up and get them ready.
	Entirely what's happening.
	Yeah.
	He can't believe it himself.
	These guys are so, you know, sold out that they can't, when they stumble upon this, they can't fully appreciate it.
	No, no, they can't.
	No, you're right.
	The programming, it's just been blocked.
	There's no way they can even think that way because that immediately makes you a crazy, Christian, open-carry, gun-woman-hating, womb-probing a-hole.
	Yeah.
	I have here before me a draft of the president's...
	I guess the translation of the president's net neutrality bill.
	Ah.
	Would you like to do this now?
	I can do...
	It's pretty short.
	It's really just changes...
	Well, I have a bunch of net neutrality clips.
	I don't want to get into them today.
	I'd rather do it on Sunday.
	Really?
	Really?
	Too many of them.
	And I have some observations.
	And the main observation...
	This would be really good.
	I think we should probably do this now.
	Okay, well I want to say that the main observation I've noticed coming away from a bunch of hearings on this is they've shifted The net neutrality argument to open internet.
	Free and open internet.
	It used to be net neutrality.
	They still use the word occasionally, but they've shifted it to...
	They say free and open, but it's really open internet, open internet, open internet, as though it's going to be closed if we don't put everything under Title II, which is what the real push is.
	But anyway, give us this.
	Because I don't have it.
	Oh, you mean you have no clips to play?
	No, I have plenty of clips to play, but I don't have what you're going to read.
	Okay.
	So this is a bill to amend the Communications Act of 1934 to ensure, at the top of this document, here it is, internet openness, which is to prohibit blocking of lawful content,
	To prohibit throttling data, to prohibit paid prioritization, to require transparency of network management practices, to provide that broadband shall be considered to be an information service, and to prohibit the commission or a state commission from relying on Section 706 of the Telecommunications Act of 1996.
	So what everyone is overlooking, of course, is Section 13, Internet Openness.
	What the hell is this, people?
	Internet Openness.
	That is the actual headline of Section 13.
	Actually, even on C-SPAN, the debate was titled Open Internet.
	Let's play a couple of clips.
	What does this mean?
	It doesn't mean anything.
	It's just a new word that they want to put in because it sounds great.
	Somebody in the back room said, ah, I got one for you.
	There's net neutrality.
	Nobody's picking it up.
	Only the nerds are talking about it.
	We need something that the public can grasp.
	Open Internet.
	Oh, okay.
	Right.
	So here's Eshoo, the woman who used to head this communications committee, talking about open internet, and she wants to throw a bunch of documents in, because she is a big promoter of turning everything, turning it all over to the FCC in Title II. Title II. Mr.
	Chairman, I failed to ask for a unanimous consent request to include in the record a letter dated January 20th from the mayors of New York and San Francisco, and the letter urges the FCC to adopt the strongest possible open Internet rules using Title II. And I also ask that letters from the National Association of Realtors and a group of racial justice organizations be included in the record.
	Both letters reiterate that the legislative process should not hold up the FCC for moving forward with strong, legally enforceable, open internet rules.
	No, without objection.
	Thank you, Mr.
	Chairman.
	Wow, yeah.
	Feel back.
	This open...
	So they're pushing this as hard as they can.
	And there was a lot of black people that were part of crazy organizations, one associated with the Rainbow Coalition, who were talking about, you know, the way things are, we have the digital divide, which I haven't heard anybody talking about.
	That's been a long time since I heard the digital divide.
	But they're all jumping in, these guys who are running some of these very sketchy operations.
	Hmm.
	And so they're asking for free internet for the minority.
	The president did say during the State of the Union, he said free and open internet, which you can interpret.
	Yeah, but he didn't mean free as in free.
	He meant free as in information should be free.
	As long as it's lawful information.
	Yeah, lawful information.
	Anyway, so they went on and on with a bunch of things.
	There's a bunch of clips I have, but I'm going to skip these and go right to the most interesting clip, which is why are they pushing?
	I mean, not everybody.
	The woman from CTIA, the mobile carriers, she was telling us all hell is going to break loose if it becomes Title II on the streaming data.
	Right now, they're Title II for the voice, but not for the data.
	And then she says, all it's going to be a...
	Can't afford it.
	Can't afford it.
	They can't afford it, especially the small carriers.
	But then this little tidbit shows up with Michael Powell, who is one of the testifiers.
	Isn't he the former FCC guy?
	Right, used to be.
	And now he's running some.
	Isn't he Powell's son?
	Yeah.
	Yeah, Colin Powell.
	Yeah.
	So here's an interesting little tidbit you should at least think about.
	This is the tidbit on the FTC versus the FCC. There is also an argument out there in the public, some agree, some disagree, that if the FCC goes down a Title II path and declares that the Internet is a public utility under Title II, that that nearly totally eliminates the Federal Trade Commission's authority because they don't have authority on regulated common carriers.
	Correct?
	Correct.
	Mr.
	Powell, can you speak to that?
	That's correct.
	Under the Clayton Act, Section 5, the FTC is prohibited from exercising its authority over privacy, data security, and a number of other things against telecommunications services providers.
	They're obviously a champion of privacy today and have broad-reaching authority to do so.
	That would be disenfranchised by this decision.
	All right.
	Mr.
	Meiser.
	There is a specific part in this bill about commission authority.
	Want to hear that?
	Yeah.
	In general, that's how it starts off.
	The commission shall enforce the obligations established in subsection A.
	That's the unlawful, unlawful, blocking of lawful content, etc.
	Through education of complaints alleging violations of such subsection, but may not expand the Internet openness obligations for provision of broadband Internet access service beyond the obligations established in such subsection, whether by rulemaking or otherwise. but may not expand the Internet openness obligations for provision So I read that as a restriction of the FCC.
	Yeah.
	They have some formal complaint procedures.
	Here's the one.
	It prohibits reasonable efforts by a provider of broadband internet access service to address copyright infringement or other unlawful activity.
	This is going to, if this passes in any form, it really is going to change the The internet that most people deal with, not us, because we have all, you know, this is ridiculous and ludicrous that you can do anything really to thwart information really traversing the internet.
	Yeah, you could do all kinds of things with Google and Facebook and Twitter.
	By the way, Instagram, if you show, if someone's in a bathing suit, a female in a bathing suit, and there's a little bit of pubic hair sticking out, your account gets deleted.
	Because, you know, pubic hair can't be on the internet.
	Yeah.
	And then here's the problem that the wireless carriers are talking about.
	I guess this is because of this legislation that is being proposed.
	Broadband Internet Access Service, the term broadband Internet Access Service means a mass market retail service by wire or radio that provides the capability to transmit data to and receive data from all or substantially all Internet endpoints, including any capabilities the term broadband Internet Access Service means a mass market retail service by wire or radio that provides the capability to transmit data to and So that would be all the mobile carriers.
	No wonder they're up in arms.
	No wonder.
	They're going to have to provide Netflix streaming now at no charge?
	Yeah, that'll go over well.
	No, no.
	So you will not hear anybody talking about the real issue here, and that issue is the word lawful.
	And they also mention lawful network traffic, which will outlaw torrenting, and all kinds of things will come from this.
	So anyone talking about CISPA or SOPA and all this stuff, any kind of distraction you're seeing, no one is focusing on the actual language that the freedom of speech will be squelched, particularly if you take into account, just like, it's all a part of it, or it will be used as a part of it with the...
	Well, with the French, I mean, the French are now arresting people.
	The Pope comes out and says, oh, you have the freedom of speech, but not the freedom to insult.
	Yes, I do.
	Yes, that is the whole point.
	Well, the Pope's off the deep end on this stuff.
	Now, the only good news that came out of this thing is the CTIA woman, who used to be one of the commissioners.
	She seemed pretty well-informed.
	It wasn't like just some ding-a-ling that ran into her operation.
	It seemed like she was on the ball.
	She did say, if any of this stuff goes through or we're pushed into Title II for our data...
	We are going to sue and sue and sue and sue again.
	It's going to be one long court battle.
	Get ready for it.
	It wasn't like a threat, but it was.
	Bomb them, bomb them, and bomb them again.
	We need to share the wireless industry's perspective on the importance of an open Internet.
	At the outset, I want to be clear.
	America's wireless industry fully supports an open internet.
	Wireless users demand it in a marketplace where competition has never been more vigorous.
	In the past 20 years, the wireless industry has grown from a luxury product to a key driver of economic growth.
	We all benefit from faster speeds, more services and lower prices.
	The U.S. is the global leader in wireless by any metric, and it is at the forefront of mobile innovation in health, automotive, and payment fields.
	Central to that growth was Congress' foresight in establishing Section 332, a mobile-specific regulatory framework outside of Title II. Congress has the opportunity to provide the same stability for broadband.
	Heh heh.
	Heh heh heh heh heh heh.
	Yeah, that'll be interesting.
	Whatever happens, it's just going to be stuck in litigation for decades, I'm sure.
	Well, those phone guys, these cellular guys, are not without income and ability.
	Right.
	They've got lots of lawyers.
	I just have a funny clip to end with, if you want that.
	This is from QVC, Home Shopping Network.
	All right.
	They're having an argument about...
	Wait, hold on a second.
	Back up.
	You were watching QVC? No, someone sent this to me.
	Ah, okay.
	This is an argument about the moon.
	And it's a couple things.
	One, these are people who are on television.
	You can call it television.
	They're selling stuff.
	Yeah, they're sales dummies.
	And so they're selling some kind of outfit, women's garb.
	And there's the woman salesman and then the fashion gay guy.
	Typical token fashion gay guy.
	And they start arguing about the moon.
	Is it?
	Yeah.
	And it just is so sad that this is the American public.
	And look at this one.
	This is what we call emerald, but really it's more like a seafoam.
	I love that color.
	That's such a happy, beautiful, rich experience.
	It almost kind of looks like what the earth looks like when you're a bazillion miles away from the planet moon.
	Yes, I just squinted at it.
	From the moon looking back at the earth.
	From the planet moon.
	Isn't the moon a star?
	No, the moon is a planet, darling.
	The sun is a star.
	Is the moon really a planet?
	The moon is a planet.
	Don't look at me like that.
	The sun is a star.
	Is the sun not a star?
	I don't know what the sun is.
	The sun is a star.
	The moon is not a planet.
	I knew it!
	I knew it!
	You were trying to take me down that road.
	The moon is not a planet.
	Chunky, if you're listening to me, you have to Google the moon.
	You might as well cue it up and finish it off.
	The moon is such a planet.
	I can't even stand it.
	The moon is not a planet.
	What else is it if it's not a planet?
	It is not.
	I believe it's a star or something.
	It's a moon.
	It's a moon.
	Didn't you do that thing in grade school where you had to name the planets and there was Uranus and there was Saturn and the one with the rings and then the Earth?
	The moon is never in there, dude.
	It's not a planet.
	Dude.
	All right.
	Here, look.
	This is Keyline.
	I don't know.
	I feel like sometimes, though, I am educated.
	What is it, baseball or something?
	What is it, cheese?
	Come on, it's a planet.
	That is blonde of mine.
	Do you have a clip of the year?
	I'll take this one.
	There's another 20 seconds if you want it.
	Oh my god!
	Play the whole thing from beginning to end right after the show.
	Okay, I'll do that.
	Unbelievable.
	I know, I know.
	It's incredibly sad.
	I'm very, very sad that this is taking place in these United States of America, which we bless.
	That's right, bless this great country of ours.
	But we make stuff that kills brown people.
	In deserts only.
	Okay, so Sunday we'll do more.
	Bring your clips, your packet-y quality clips.
	I got a couple.
	Okay, and I have more stuff happening in Euroland.
	Of course, on Sunday we will have the Greek snap election.
	All kinds of stuff going on.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Keep our eye on that.
	I'll look for flubs.
	Flubs are fun.
	Flubs are always good.
	Let's cue that up, too.
	Yeah, I got the flubs.
	All right, you got it.
	Good, good, good.
	You got it covered.
	Yeah, all right.
	Remember us...
	Another great show.
	Holy crap.
	Dvorak.org slash NA. Remember your 214 double dip donation for your loved one calling him out on the show.
	And from FEMA Region 6...
	Here in the capital of the drone star state, in the morning everybody, I'm Adam Curry.
	And from northern Silicon Valley, otherwise known as FEMA Region X, I'm John C. Dvorak.
	We'll be back on Sunday right here on No Agenda.
	Do you remember anybody else who was there?
	Yeah.
	A woman named Vicki, I think.
	And a dude named Ben.
	A constellation alongside Jake Gyllenhorn in New York.
	And look at this one.
	This is what we call emerald, but really it's more like a sea foam.
	I love that color.
	That's such a happy, beautiful, rich color.
	It almost kind of looks like what the earth looks like when you're a bazillion miles away from the planet moon.
	Yes, I just squinted at it.
	From the moon looking back at the earth.
	From the planet moon.
	Isn't the moon a star?
	No, the moon is a planet, darling.
	The sun is a star.
	Is the moon really a planet?
	The moon is a planet.
	Don't look at me like that.
	The sun is a star.
	Is the sun not a star?
	I don't know what the sun is.
	We don't know what the sun is.
	The sun is a star.
	The moon is not a planet.
	I knew it!
	You were trying to take me down that road.
	The moon is not a planet.
	Chunky, if you're listening to me, you have to Google the moon.
	I can guarantee you someone's Googling right now.
	The moon is such a planet.
	I can't even stand it.
	The moon is not a planet.
	What else is it if it's not a planet?
	It is not!
	I believe it's a star or something.
	It's a moon.
	It's a moon.
	Didn't you do that thing in grade school where you had to name the planets and there was Uranus and there was Saturn and the one with the rings and then the Earth?
	The moon is never in there, dude.
	It's not a planet.
	All right.
	Here, look.
	This is Keyline.
	I don't know.
	I feel like sometimes, though, I am educated.
	What is it, cheese?
	Come on.
	It's a planet.
	That this blonde of mine could be real.
	Okay.
	It's a satellite.
	The moon is what?
	A natural satellite.
	The moon is a natural satellite.
	But things live on it.
	That means it's a planet.
	Is that what Google said?
	I don't know what it says.
	No, I don't like that at all.
	I don't even know what that means.
	I do.
	I use Google all the time.
	I feel bad.
	I feel bad for Yahoo because they're really good too.
	I just don't use them.
	Wow.
	Okay, listen.
	1,500 of these...
	But resist.
	We must.
	It's pretty much, they felt, the attacks were actually a conspiracy by the Jews to make Muslims look bad.
	And they told me that they...
	One person told me that, in fact, they weren't just regular Jews that were doing this.
	In fact, they were a race of magical Jews, shape-shifting Jews that were master manipulators and could be everywhere at the same time.
	I'm Joe Biden, and thank you for taking the time to listen.
	ISIS. We will follow them to the gates of hell.
	ISIS. Adios, mofo.
	The best podcast in the universe.

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