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Jan. 8, 2015 - No Agenda

02:44:43

685: Schwack the Nose

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Time	Text
	Hey, Bill, go drink some poop.
	Adam Curry, John C. Dvorak.
	It's Thursday, January 8th, 2015.
	Time for your Gitmo Nation Media assassination episode 685.
	This is no agenda.
	I'm feeling like I should be curled up in the fetal position.
	Live from FEMA Region 6, the capital of the Drone Star State in Austin, Texas.
	In the morning, everybody.
	I'm Adam Curry.
	And from Northern Silicon Valley, with no further ado, I'm John Cedar.
	It's Crackpot and Buzzkill.
	In the morning.
	Yeah.
	It was the first time I actually considered calling in sick for the show.
	I got it.
	I got it, finally.
	Oh yeah, everybody got it.
	Because if it was in the shot, so if you got the shot, you'd get it.
	I didn't get the shot.
	No, but if you got the shot, you would have got it sooner, so it would have been a better time.
	Oh, okay.
	Better time for what?
	So it wouldn't fall on a show day.
	So did you get some Relenza or some Tamiflu to buffer the effects of the flu?
	No.
	No.
	Because no one's here and I'm all alone and no one's taking care of it.
	You can't get some Relenza.
	You can make a phone call.
	You can go to the doctor.
	You can call someone.
	I don't even have a doctor.
	I don't.
	I have voodoo doctors.
	I don't have a regular doctor.
	No, I don't have a doctor.
	I don't go to doctors.
	Oh, okay.
	Yeah.
	Well, then you won't enjoy this particular ailment.
	How long does it last?
	We'll see.
	Everybody here got it.
	And just to be clear, it starts off with pain in your back, shoulders, you're really tired.
	Not necessarily.
	Oh, okay.
	That's what I have.
	I mean, it's something else.
	It's a little different with everybody.
	I may be strung out on heroin.
	I don't know.
	So everybody got a different version of it.
	And I... I used Relenza, so it just lessened the effect.
	So I did get a cough, a nagging cough, which is annoying.
	I never got a fever.
	I never got the aching or anything.
	I never got the energy problems.
	I just had this cough and congestion, so I still have a little bit of that.
	Oh, okay.
	And that's all I got.
	But I used Relenza, which I think is the best antiviral.
	Right.
	And now...
	And JC and his wife both got it, and they had used Tamiflu.
	JC had the mildest version, and he didn't really...
	I think he stayed in bed for two days, and he was good.
	Right.
	And Eric took nothing.
	Right.
	And he was...
	Miserable.
	He was miserable, yes.
	Yeah, in fact, he mentioned he was done for two days.
	He was down on this.
	He was down.
	He was...
	He's down!
	Right.
	So here I am.
	I'm still standing.
	Yeah, you won't be tomorrow.
	Well, it started Tuesday.
	Yes, I woke up Tuesday and I felt like, okay, this doesn't feel right.
	Yeah, you're fighting it off.
	Right, right.
	And then, so Tuesday I also spent all day trying to install that stupid PlayStation.
	My daughter's coming today.
	She's coming to visit for a week.
	Oh, you're going to give her the flu then?
	Yeah.
	Hopefully I'm no longer contagious.
	Oh, well, you don't know.
	I know I don't know.
	And she's coming from a week of partying in L.A. I don't care.
	She'll be bringing all kinds of goodies with her, I'm sure.
	So I had to get the Grand Theft Auto loaded.
	By the way, this flu coincides beautifully with CES. Yeah, it does.
	There's no...
	Everybody's going to be sick.
	Go to CES and get the flu.
	No wonder it's an epidemic.
	And so then yesterday, Wednesday...
	So I stayed in bed, and it was bad.
	I'm just like, oh, I feel horrible, horrible, horrible.
	Yeah.
	Cough of...
	No cough.
	No, sore throat.
	That's the problem.
	Sore throat.
	Sore throat, yeah.
	And then yesterday, right around noon, I'm like, ah!
	Okay, fever broke.
	With me, it's like my body goes into shake mode and get the stuff out with the fever.
	Oh, you get the heebie-jeebies.
	Yeah.
	And so, you know, I had to go to shopping because Christina's coming.
	So, you know, grocery shopping.
	You know, what is the...
	So you were down for the count, what, on Monday and Tuesday or Tuesday and Wednesday?
	No, it was Tuesday, and then Wednesday at noon I got up.
	So that's not, that's, what is that, 30 hours or something?
	Oh, that's, yeah, okay.
	But, and then I'm just trying to stay active, and of course I've got to prep, right?
	You know, I've got to do all kinds of stuff.
	And then I'd forgotten that yesterday was Orthodox Christmas.
	Right.
	And I've been invited by Sir Gene, Earl of Texas, to join him and some of his other Russian friends at Russian House for a traditional Russian Orthodox Christmas dinner.
	Right.
	Yeah, it's supposed to be great.
	Well, you know why it's great?
	Lots of vodka.
	You went?
	Yeah, of course I went.
	Oh, good.
	Yeah, I figured, you know, whatever.
	Oh, the vodka's good for you.
	Yeah, it certainly helped.
	But my energy, you know, it was like 6.30 or something when we got there.
	And, you know, you're drinking a couple vodkas, you're eating God knows what.
	A lot of beets in the Russian.
	They love them beets.
	It was actually quite interesting.
	I've had borscht before.
	Borscht is good.
	I like the borscht a lot.
	It was a very good borscht.
	And I had beef stroganoff.
	Apparently that's a Russian dish.
	And a couple other things.
	But it was nice.
	But the energy, it just drained.
	It totally sapped me out.
	Yeah, so you got home and went back to bed.
	Back to bed.
	Are you recording this show, by the way?
	Yes, thank you.
	I'm just checking on you because you're weak in the head.
	Thank you for asking.
	Yes, on multiple systems.
	So then I'm trying to do stuff in bed last night.
	It's not working really well.
	I get up early.
	It's like 6.00.
	You know that feeling when you have something in your hand, like a laptop even, and you're lying on your back, and then you just fall asleep and the laptop falls in your face or something?
	I actually do.
	Yes, I have had that happen.
	I don't hold a laptop over my head, but I have had a book fall in my face.
	Right.
	This is what's happening this morning.
	My brain is just shutting down.
	Whoa, I've got to stay away here.
	Anyway, it's okay.
	And I do want to talk to you because we've had some interesting things take place once again, which begs some analysis from the crack team here at The Best Podcast in the Universe.
	Yes, things are beginning to, this is shaking out already to look like a pretty good year.
	Yeah, and I have an idea which I think will solve everything everywhere, and this is for the, obviously, for what happened in Paris.
	Is this an idea that stems from your stupor?
	Yes, obviously, from my delirium.
	So what is the slogan everyone's saying using?
	Je suis...
	Je suis Chabon or whatever the name is.
	Not Chabon.
	Chabon.
	No, the name of the magazine.
	Yeah, it's Habedon.
	Je suis Charlie.
	No, Je suis Charlie.
	I keep thinking of Charlie Sheen when that comes up.
	So Je suis Charlie.
	Which I think is...
	I don't know who made that up, but that's lame.
	Whatever works.
	Here's what we need to do.
	If we really want to be bold, let's just for a moment presume that indeed this is real.
	I can't even bring the energy up to do that.
	This is real.
	And this really is these crazy brothers who apparently have been doing this since 2005.
	And this is all about the depiction of the Prophet Muhammad.
	Then why don't we all today change our Twitter icon to the Prophet Muhammad?
	Oh, there you go.
	This is what we should be doing.
	I think you've stumbled on one.
	This is what we should be doing.
	And then the whole world does this.
	We're like, fuck you.
	And then we can have cartoon versions and all kinds of funny versions.
	Now, wouldn't that show that this is how the world really should work?
	Yes, that's exactly right, Adam.
	I think you've stumbled on the exact thing everyone should do, and I would recommend they all do it.
	Are you going to do it?
	No, I don't change my icons to anything.
	Okay.
	Right.
	Are you going to do it?
	You should do it.
	I'll totally do it.
	I don't give a crap.
	I want a good icon.
	This is what kills me about this.
	We brought this up during the Danish cartoon.
	This all stems from that originally.
	This magazine published those cartoons too.
	But there's a couple of things that I could come away with.
	One is that the French concept of freedom of speech makes our concept of freedom of speech look sick.
	Oh, I totally agree.
	Good to bring that up.
	If you want to see freedom of speech in action, go to France.
	You're not going to get any here.
	The closest you're going to come is this show.
	And that tells you something.
	Yes, and that tells you something.
	And we're not changing our icons.
	I'm going to change my icon.
	I'm going to do it.
	Okay, go do it.
	But the thing, we brought this up before, is that the depiction of Muhammad, so you draw a stick figure, and then you put an arrow toward it, and then you write Muhammad.
	And that is somehow a depiction of Muhammad.
	And that's also...
	Well, that's a good one.
	I like that.
	It's not a depiction of anything.
	Yeah.
	Well, I wanted to look at this from a number of angles, and the first one is, which was also my initial response before I saw the video.
	When I saw the video of these guys on the street, and there's some anomalies there that...
	I'm not too interested anymore in trying to discover every minute detail of one little piece of video.
	People do go out and kill people once in a while.
	Yeah, exactly.
	It's not necessarily crazy conspiracy.
	Every murder in the world is not part of some FBI plot.
	It's not all a false flag.
	Not all.
	But when I saw how methodical these guys were or how it felt to me, The first thing that popped in my head was like Gladio B or something.
	This is the strategy of tension.
	Let's go make people crazy.
	But I know the story behind a lot of these journalists and many people have sent in emails who either live in France or do live in France.
	And a couple of these guys, they're very famous illustrators.
	Oh, yeah.
	Extremely famous, certainly in France.
	They upset the French.
	Yeah, oh yeah, this is, you know, it would be like, give me an American example.
	We have none.
	Scott Adams, he's dead.
	Yeah, Scott Adams would be a good example.
	Yeah, like that, or Schultz, you know, from Peanuts, something like that.
	He is dead already.
	Yeah, the dead guy.
	So there you go, that's why they don't kill any of our illustrators, because all the good ones are dead.
	But it is interesting that if you look at what is, whether intentional or not, on the killing side, but certainly on the media side, if you want to bring attention to anything, if you want to get something going, you've got to take out a journalist or someone who works at a journalistic function.
	Yeah, because the media will pick that up.
	Yeah, exactly.
	Exactly.
	So I think it's pretty obvious.
	Who gets beheaded?
	Journalists.
	Who gets shot for drawing pictures?
	Journalistic types.
	And of course we found an ID at the shooting scene.
	Please.
	You're insulting me.
	I do have a couple of clips we can play to back ourselves up here.
	I just want to finish my intro.
	Just my intro, because I got some clips too.
	But my intro is, having lived in the Netherlands, having been through the assassination of Pim Fortin, who was, as they would call him, the Le Pen of the Lowlands.
	And interestingly enough, he was a very, you know, he's a professor, openly gay professor, He was going to win the Dutch elections.
	In fact, posthumously, his party did win, swept the elections, was assassinated two weeks before becoming the de facto prime minister, and he had written books and was really pushing very hard about the Islamification of Europe, and we've had many warning signals about this multicultural integration, this multicultural society, really just not working out too well.
	So this does not come as any surprise, really, to me.
	Being someone who has really grown up and lived in Europe.
	Well, it shouldn't be a surprise to anybody.
	Well...
	Yeah, unless you're like some dimwit.
	I don't think people really understand.
	I disagree, John.
	I don't think people in...
	If you have not lived recently or live in Europe, the EU, I disagree.
	I don't think you really understand what that tension is just walking down the street and how, in the Netherlands, how Moroccans will talk to girls.
	It's not just catcalls.
	It's really, really abhorrent.
	You know, it's like, hey, hey, girl, hey, girl.
	And if you don't respond, whore, whore, slut whore, it's crazy.
	Yeah.
	No, I don't think people understand it.
	If that happened in America, no, if that happened in Texas, you'd be eating lead.
	And by the way, there's an argument to be made for, you know, just having guns to...
	Well, the police had guns.
	Yeah, but they weren't there.
	No, two of them were killed.
	What do you mean they weren't there?
	Okay.
	No, he had a full-time police guard.
	Yeah, I heard different.
	I heard that that had kind of gone away.
	Well, there were two dead cops in this scenario, at least unless they're lying about that and there's no reason to.
	I don't know.
	We really have no information at this point.
	I don't think I have any information, really.
	I have some video.
	I think there's more than enough information to not care anymore, personally.
	But here's the cartoon shooting PBS rundown, which I think kind of summarizes much of this.
	Shock and disbelief gripped Parisians moments after the military-style attack.
	Three hooded men with assault rifles forced their way into the offices of Charlie Hebdo, a satirical newspaper.
	Within minutes, they killed the editor, nine others, including two prominent political cartoonists and a police guard.
	Back outside, they riddled a police car with bullets and gunned down another officer.
	I was on my balcony, and I heard a loud noise, and then I saw an injured policeman.
	Amateur video captured a gunman who approached the wounded officer and killed him with a shot to the head.
	Before driving away, the attackers shouted in Arabic, Allahu Akbar, God is great.
	And in French, we avenged the Prophet Muhammad.
	We killed Charlie Hebdo.
	Okay, can I say two things about this?
	Go ahead.
	One, it is my understanding from whatever delirious research I was able to do that a true Islamist would never talk about avenging the Prophet Muhammad in French.
	He would definitely do that in Arabic.
	It's an anomaly.
	I don't know what else it means.
	The shooting of the wounded officer is very unclear.
	The video is actually not all that unclear.
	I do not believe that there was a direct hit To the officer?
	Who knows?
	I know it comes out of an AK-47.
	If that had hit this person's head, it did not.
	It didn't hit anything, as far as I can tell.
	Maybe the sidewalk...
	I did not see any hit there.
	And strangely enough, all the news footage now has cut that part out.
	They've blurred the officer, and then the running and shooting the officer, they've just cut the whole piece out.
	Look at CNN right now.
	It's just been eliminated for some reason.
	CNN doesn't show anything.
	I'm just saying.
	It's been taken out.
	I don't know why.
	Because they don't show anything.
	Right.
	That's why.
	When's the last time you saw a good, gruesome anything on CNN? Oh, no.
	The last time they did it was a dead kid in Gaza.
	That was it.
	So I have Stéphane Charbonnier from 2012.
	When he was, of course, in 2011, their offices were firebombed, and in 2012, I think this is ABC who dug this out of their archives.
	We are provocative today.
	We will be provocative tomorrow, and it's our job.
	Why do you do this?
	I do this because it's our job to draw about actuality.
	About the news?
	About news, yeah.
	Our job is not to defend the freedom of speech.
	But without freedom of speech, we are dead.
	We can't live in a country without freedom of speech.
	I prefer to die than live like a rat, I don't know.
	And to be afraid of speaking?
	Yeah, I haven't the time to be afraid.
	I have a paper to do.
	And I will say that not a single mainstream channel in the United States has actually showed the cartoons.
	Not a single one.
	Huffington Post?
	I'm talking about ABC, NBC, CBS. Oh, they're not going to show it?
	Not a single one has shown that.
	Why would they?
	Well, actually, when they show footage of...
	Is this shocking to you?
	No, I'm just pointing it out.
	When they have the candlelight vigils, they're even going so far as to digitize people holding up signs with the profit drawn on them.
	That's weak.
	That just shows you.
	The New York Times won't even run the cartoon.
	No, I know.
	It's weak.
	Well, it's what I said at the beginning, at the outset.
	Yeah, yeah, you're right.
	We have no freedom of speech in this country.
	It's all self-censored, but it's all self-censored.
	Not the government telling you not to do it.
	No, no, no.
	Here's Mark Stein on the self-censorship, and I think he actually repeats what I just said.
	This was the only publication that was willing to publish the Danish Mohammed cartoons in 2006 because they decided to stand by those Danish cartoonists.
	I'm proud to have written for the only Canadian magazine to publish those Mohammed cartoons.
	And it's because the New York Times didn't, and Le Monde in Paris didn't, and the London Times didn't, and all the other great newspapers, I mean, I see all these teary, candlelit vigils and everyone claiming suddenly to be for freedom of speech.
	I think one consequence of this is that a lot of people will retreat even further into self-censorship.
	The New York Daily News won't even show, dishonours the dead in Paris by not even showing properly the cartoons.
	They pixelated Mohammed out of it, so it looks like Mohammed has entered the witness protection program.
	But they left the hook-nosed Jew in.
	And that exactly gets to the double standard here.
	You can say anything you like about Christianity.
	You can say anything you like about Judaism.
	But these guys, everyone understands the message that if you say something about Islam, these guys will kill you.
	And we will be retreating into a lot more self-censorship if the...
	The pancified Western media doesn't man up and decide to disperse the risk.
	So they can't just kill one little small French satirical magazine.
	They've got to kill all of us.
	Well, yeah.
	We're going to kill all of us.
	He's a regular on the right-wing talk show.
	I've seen him everywhere now.
	He's got that British accent, so that makes him more...
	Incredible.
	Glenn Beck.
	Seriously, will someone please put together a great little Twitter icon package that we can have everyone change their Twitter icon to?
	This would be very funny.
	This is a genius idea.
	Oh, yeah.
	Delirium, it's called.
	Delirium?
	It's a genius idea.
	So what I do find interesting, and this is kind of a student of the jihadi movement, the bloodless jihad into the EU, The opportunity was made and has been taken advantage of immediately to bring in terms such as Islamophobia.
	Oh, yeah.
	There we go.
	Let's see.
	What do we have?
	Here's Josh Earnest, the spokeshole for the White House.
	I'm glad you got this clip.
	I could not get this clip, but I know about it.
	I hope it's the one you think it is.
	I thought it was good.
	I hope it's the one you think it is.
	Well, I hope it's the one you think it is.
	I thought it was good.
	I hope it's the one you think it is.
	So first, he's talking about foreign fighters.
	So now that, of course, means that people have been to Syria and have come back.
	So he's immediately turning this right into a, it should be Daesh, but he's going to say ISIL, ISIS, ISIL, whatever.
	You know, it is clear that ISIL does harbor the ambition to try and radicalize people all across the globe.
	And one core component of our strategy has been to mobilize the forces or the leaders in the Muslim community.
	Particularly the moderate voices in the Muslim community to talk about what the values of Islam really are.
	It's a peaceful religion.
	This is my favorite part.
	It's a peaceful religion.
	Yeah, it's working.
	And it's terrible that we're seeing some radical extremists attempt to use some of the values and tenets of that religion and distort them greatly and inspire people to commit terrible acts of violence.
	Hasn't religion been used for centuries or millennia as a reason to go to war?
	Well, Islam was formed for the purpose of joining all the Arabs together, one large army to go kick some ass and take over a lot of places.
	Yeah, but he seems to be forgetting this history.
	I don't want to get ahead of this situation.
	It's still under investigation.
	We don't know exactly what happened yet.
	It's still not clear who was responsible or what their motivations were.
	But we are very cognizant of this threat that's posed by foreign fighters.
	It's posed by ISIL's attempts to use social media in a rather sophisticated way.
	Whoa!
	Hold on a second.
	I'd like to know how ISIL is using social media.
	What rather sophisticated way is that?
	Are they using hashtags?
	Are they using retweets in a new manner that I'm unaware of?
	I don't know.
	To try to inspire people around the globe to commit other acts of violence, and it's something that we work very closely with our allies on a daily basis to combat.
	Yes.
	So that clearly wasn't what you were thinking of, I guess, that I had.
	Was this not the clip you wanted?
	Nah.
	Nah.
	He goes on and on.
	Yeah, he really does.
	I do have, let's see, so we have CARE, C-A-I-R. The apologists.
	Right.
	The front for Hamas, everybody knows.
	Yeah, exactly.
	Well, yes.
	But, you know, they've got to get some air time in there.
	They've got to run some interference.
	I don't know why they get booked.
	They're interesting.
	They got a good PR. They got somebody, probably, I don't know, I'm not going to say, but they get booked too much.
	mainstream followers of all faiths need to get together and marginalize the Muslims marginalizing the extremists on their side and also people of other faiths marginalizing this growing Islamophobic movement in the West and now in Europe.
	You've seen tens of thousands of people marching against Islam in Europe and that sends a very negative message.
	It creates this sense of alienation and it adds to this downward spiral that we all somehow need to get out of.
	I don't know man but the people in Europe that I know are sick and tired of this crap.
	Thank you.
	So, you know, we've got...
	And because they're demonstrating it's Islamophobia, it's not true.
	That is not what the word means.
	I don't think people have an irrational fear of Islam.
	I think they're sick and tired of it.
	Sick and tired of what is being done in name of Islam.
	Well, I've said it before on this show, which is that if you really go out there and start looking on the intertubes, you'll find plenty of moderate Islam...
	Promoters and adherents that are complaining about this bitterly all over the place.
	They never get picked up.
	Nobody ever brings them on these shows.
	Exactly.
	So you stay with the litany.
	Oh, why don't they do something about this themselves?
	And as much as they try, it's hopeless.
	This is just coming to a head.
	It's also being used, I think, for...
	I mean, obviously, leverage this.
	Obviously.
	For all sorts of things.
	But here, listen to this French woman.
	This is the French woman...
	By the way, this is the French accent I want to cultivate.
	This is the French woman explaining the cultural aspect of all this and how...
	Something we don't understand in the United States was this was extremely hurtful to the French culture and the French people.
	These guys are very important people they killed.
	Tell us about this magazine and its place in French media.
	This is a very special magazine for the French.
	All the men who work there, who are dead today, wanted to do journalism.
	They wanted to do serious journalism, but they also wanted to make people smile about real issues.
	France is completely traumatized by what happened.
	It's the journalist which has been killed today.
	The French people cannot understand why there's so much horror, terrorism as, again, strike, journalism, and people who really wanted to change the world and who believed in freedom, freedom of the press, freedom of speech, freedom to be able to do whatever you want and to say whatever you want.
	Laura, we see thousands of people in France today, in Paris, holding up the sign Je suis Charlie.
	Was that the feeling?
	I suspect it wasn't the feeling about the magazine before today.
	It's the feeling that something has changed in France.
	I know that in the United States you always see France has this beautiful country with a lot of women, wine, French, Hong Kong.
	This is completely over.
	And after today, it's more over than ever.
	She forgot to say that what we really think is that women have hairy armpits in France.
	That's what we think here.
	That's bigotry.
	I'm just telling you.
	I've never noticed this.
	No, I'm not saying it's true, but that is a long-running meme.
	Stupid Americans think that French women don't shave around this.
	I think there's more Europeans that think that than Americans.
	Really?
	Yeah.
	That's where I think you get it.
	Hmm.
	Okay.
	Well, the president spoke about all this.
	Yeah.
	And what is the point?
	I saw this.
	He's sitting down in a chair, right?
	Yeah.
	With another guy.
	And there's two dead kittens on two microphones, which is what that's called, the thing they put on over them.
	And the microphones are on long booms.
	And it sounds like shit.
	It's because the microphones are five miles away from these two guys.
	I think they might have been off.
	I think someone was just running wild sound on the cameras on board.
	It sucked.
	Yeah, it did.
	It did suck.
	So the first thing, the way the president does it, I really disapprove of these types of things that he says.
	I think it's going to be important for us to make sure that we recognize these kinds of attacks can happen anywhere in the world.
	I don't like this.
	I disapprove of this message.
	Why is he going to say, we have to really realize now, people, that these types of tasks can happen anywhere in the world?
	It could happen in downtown Austin.
	I mean, that is just scaring people.
	I'm looking at a parking lot.
	Can it happen there, Winder?
	Why does he do this?
	Because it's part of the terror thing.
	And one of the things I'll be discussing with Secretary Kerry today is to make sure that we remain vigilant, not just with respect to Americans living in Paris, but Americans living in Europe and the Middle East and other parts of the world, making sure that we stay vigilant.
	Stay vigilant.
	Trying to protect them.
	I think he may as well.
	I have a clip.
	This is kind of a funny clip, but I have it mislabeled.
	He should announce this, and he should do this, and he should just make this...
	Part of the entire scheme, schema, for what he has to say about, you know, all this fear that we have to just be shaking in our boots constantly.
	Play the North Korean announcement.
	This is the Ministry of Fear, a network of terror that lays bare the secrets locked in every man's mind.
	Using strange hypnotic torture, relentless, cunning, tangling their quarry in a web of horror until he reaches the brink of madness.
	Who speaks?
	Who said that?
	Who told you that?
	Yeah, exactly.
	Yes, citizen, you may return to your harpsichord.
	Yeah, excellent.
	Yeah, that's it.
	I mean, the president is just sitting there.
	Yeah, that's the president.
	He's just scaring everybody.
	That's our president.
	That is our president.
	It can happen anywhere.
	It's fear.
	If you're an American, you know, we're going to be vigilant.
	Vigilant.
	Fear.
	Fear is freedom.
	Subjugation is liberation.
	Contradiction is truth.
	Those are the facts of this world.
	And you will all surrender to them.
	You pigs in human clothing.
	I'm telling you.
	You know, fiction becomes a...
	If this had happened in the United States, they wouldn't have had any of these vigils.
	Stay home, because another attack is imminent!
	Yeah.
	Well, it depends on where it would be.
	Well, it depends.
	In Texas?
	Well, in Texas, nobody cares.
	I think they wouldn't have gotten as many people.
	Maybe.
	I don't know.
	I'm not going to get out of an argument.
	Let me finish this up.
	They would have had a fight.
	Yeah, we have guns.
	Exactly.
	Hey, what are you, your balaclava Muslim crazy guy?
	Get back in the Citroën!
	Here's the guy who used to run The Onion.
	And I think that this was an interesting little clip.
	This was on, I think, Lawrence O'Donnell's show.
	And I think it's interesting.
	He doesn't know that he's doing it, but he's actually discussing self-censorship and why this wouldn't happen here.
	Because we're too scared to run these pictures.
	Joe Randazzo, this was a tough one for you.
	I'm going to read something you wrote today as a former editor of The Onion.
	You said 12 people were murdered at the offices of Charlie Hebdo, a French satirical newspaper today, apparently for doing the very thing The Onion does, satire.
	But Joe, they did one thing that The Onion hasn't done.
	They actually included images of Mohammed.
	Yeah, well, as far as my recollection goes, there hasn't been a time when Onion has run an image of Muhammad, especially not for any inflammatory reasons.
	So I do think that there is a kind of fine line that has to be walked, which is sensitivity to...
	The cultural preferences of your readership or anybody in the world versus the freedom to publish anything you see fit in a free society.
	So while The Onion has poked a lot of fun and called out radical Islam, I don't remember a time when it has run an image of Muhammad.
	Not for any particular reason beyond that.
	I just don't recall it having come up.
	This guy is self-censoring the entire time he's talking.
	Oh yeah.
	He can't even think straight.
	He's like, I don't want to fuck this up.
	By the way, let's start off with the initial premise.
	Images of Muhammad.
	These are not images.
	No, it's not images of Muhammad.
	It's a cartoon.
	It's a drawing.
	It's a drawing with an arrow.
	If it didn't have the...
	It could say, you know, Sheikh Abdul.
	You know, it doesn't...
	There's this generic character that they just pointed an arrow so that we were going to...
	We're calling that Muhammad.
	It's not an image.
	It's a miss...
	The whole thing is bullcrap.
	At that level.
	Here's, and I knew the president was going to say this, because of course, whenever he's sitting in that chair, whenever he talks about another country, we always know that it's our number one ally.
	They're our best friends ever.
	You know, our relationship is special.
	And I'm like, what planet is he from?
	But I thought it was appropriate for me to express my deepest sympathies to the people of Paris and the people of France for the terrible terrorist attack that took place earlier today.
	I think that all of us We recognize that France is one of our oldest allies, our strongest allies.
	They have been with us at every moment from 9-11 on.
	No, no, no.
	Have we forgotten freedom fries?
	Apparently.
	No, we hated them.
	We were not eating french fries.
	They were not helping us out at all.
	No.
	No.
	So what is the president?
	What is he doing?
	Why is he saying all this?
	Because he's just...
	You know why.
	Because nobody pays any attention to facts and it just sounds great.
	It's just bullcrap.
	It's just ridiculous.
	Beside myself, obviously.
	Right now, I agree.
	Now, Putin...
	Putin!
	Well, not Putin himself, but...
	Putin!
	By the way, I want to say that the dinner last night was actually very nice, I have to say.
	Was Putin there?
	No, but we talked a lot about Putin.
	Oh, well, let's take a breather and give us a little rundown on this.
	Well, the funny thing is, not everybody was Russian.
	Gene had invited a whole bunch of people.
	Okay, well he does that.
	Yeah, and Brian Brushwood showed up.
	We'd never met in person.
	Oh, Brian's been wanting to meet you.
	Oh, I see.
	You know what?
	It was a setup.
	It was a setup.
	I agree.
	I think it was a setup.
	Yeah, you were totally set up.
	Because Brian's been wanting to meet you forever.
	And you did a great job of avoiding him.
	And obviously the sheriff knows about this because he keeps tabs and he's a gossip monger.
	So he set the whole thing up and now he just said, ah, my job is done.
	I have done it now.
	That's funny.
	Brian's a good guy.
	We've never had a chance to hook up.
	So I know that his two other friends, Piotr, Peter, and Oksana, Those are Brian's friends?
	No, these are Gene's Russian friends.
	Did Brian just come by himself?
	Yeah.
	He just stopped by.
	He just kind of did a flyby.
	But the Peter guy, he comes from the very famous Russian clowns, circus clowns.
	In fact...
	I think his dad consulted on Moscow and the Hudson, and there was a clown in the movie that was supposed to be his dad or grandfather.
	I'm not sure.
	So there's a Russian cell in Austin.
	Very big Russian cell.
	Major.
	And...
	Probably in every capital.
	These Russian girls?
	Cute.
	All of them.
	The girls serving at this restaurant...
	Cute.
	And I was not informed.
	Were they the coy Russian style?
	What do you mean coy?
	There's a coyness to a certain...
	Yes.
	That's a certain coyness.
	I think coy is the right description, yes.
	And so, of course, Gene's yapping and rushing to all these girls and, you know, the server, waitress, whatever.
	And I was not informed.
	I was sick, you know, so nothing was working for me.
	And I kind of like, hey, you know, I did, hey girl, hey.
	And I don't remember what I said, but she basically came back with, oh, thank you very much, but I'm not interested.
	I know!
	I'm not interested.
	I'm not interested.
	Everything came around.
	What did you say?
	I don't know, but it was lame, I'm sure.
	I'm being distracted by Peter's wife, Oksana, who was just...
	If the hair were red, it would be Chapman, you know?
	She's stunning, stunning.
	And she has that sexy accent and...
	Yeah, but all these guys, they're probably going to shoot me with some drug and kill me if I look at their watch.
	Be careful with this stuff, man.
	These nut jobs.
	You've got to be careful.
	But I have to say, very enjoyable.
	And the Russian food is interesting.
	I guess you could say that.
	Some of it is just vile.
	Most of it is pickled.
	Yeah, it's pickled beets.
	They have pretty good sturgeon.
	So they have this salad, which is a meat potato beet salad.
	And what Oksana said is, you know, whenever you celebrate something, a birthday or you get a raise or whatever it is, you know, Putin invades a country.
	Out comes this salad.
	It's a celebration salad.
	It is.
	And it's mayonnaise.
	It's some kind of mystery meat.
	I've seen this salad.
	With the beets in it.
	Oh, it's called something with hair on it.
	It's from the old country.
	It had a little sign because it was a buffet style.
	And there was this girl playing some instrument, which I've never seen.
	Not a bali-lika?
	No, it was...
	So it had the triangular shape, like an auto-harp would have, but it didn't have any of the buttons that an auto-harp would have, and it did not have a neck.
	So it was kind of like a harp that she was plucking with both hands.
	Yeah, there's probably a name for that.
	And she was also cute.
	It was just crazy.
	Okay, so back to...
	You were delirious, though.
	They may have all been mediocre-looking.
	No, no, no, no, no, no.
	Don't fool me now.
	Okay, so Putin's guy comes out.
	What's his name?
	The Foreign Affairs Parliamentary Committee guy.
	No, it wasn't the foreign minister.
	Oh, no, it wasn't Medvedev either.
	No, no, no.
	No, it was a lower-level guy.
	And he says, the tragedy in Paris shows it's not Russia-threatening Europe.
	It's a little too early, I think, dude, on this.
	That's part of their never-ending Chechnya angle.
	They're always trying to needle us.
	You're always bitching about our human rights abuses in Chechnya.
	How do you like it?
	And then just needle it west as much as they can.
	That's what they do.
	See, we've got a problem and you don't help us.
	And by the way, Even though I was listening to NPR and I couldn't watch TV, the TV is so useless, we really have to come up with a countermeasure for people who keep talking about wanting to have that conversation.
	Oh, that's another meme.
	This thing is being so overused.
	Yeah, no, hey, I'm writing it down.
	And we really need to have that conversation about our broken immigration system, which occurred due to a glitch in the Affordable Care Act.
	This stems from that Cluetrain Manifesto book.
	This stems from Silicon Valley.
	Really?
	The conversation.
	Oh, have that conversation, right.
	Yeah, the conversation.
	Oh, you know, it's not marketing anymore.
	It's a conversation.
	It's not marketing.
	Don't market to your customers.
	Having a conversation.
	Have a conversation.
	That's what social media is so good.
	Have a conversation on social media, and then you'll see.
	I get the biggest kick, and I've been seeing this more and more.
	And they're coming out of the woodwork, because they're on LinkedIn everywhere, because there's no job.
	And mostly women, but there's a few guys, but I would say it's 90% women.
	They're social media experts.
	Oh, yeah.
	And SEO and social media experts.
	I'm just trying to fight you.
	Let me just see for a second.
	Remember that song?
	That we played?
	From that social media thing.
	Social, social media.
	I'm trying to find it.
	What would it be later?
	Well, let me continue with my rant.
	Yeah, please.
	So every one of them, I see these women cropping up as social media, SEO, you know, they have all these, a Jack in the Box commercial, I actually made fun of them once.
	Of course, that was quickly shoved aside because it was sexist or something.
	Like I suppose I'm being now.
	Not at all.
	So I always look these women up.
	I check them out.
	I go to Twitter.
	They have like a social media expert.
	And they got like 214 followers.
	Yeah.
	Every one of them.
	I ran into one.
	It was social media.
	She doesn't even have the 500 minimum connections on LinkedIn.
	I'm going to top you on that.
	I took an Uber the other day, and it was a very nice girl who was driving, and as you know, I'm continuously trying to figure out what's going on, how they're feeling, what's up with the company, do they like it?
	And she said, well, you know, I'm a social media expert, and fill in some of the gaps.
	My social media expert is now my Uber driver.
	That kind of shows you.
	Hey now, y'all!
	Can we just get real?
	Do we really care about our fans, or is this just another deal?
	Set another way that we lost our way?
	Social's about the people, remember?
	We are people.
	Do we really need another like, fan, or share?
	Do we need another post to show up everywhere?
	I hope as we scatter that we never forget.
	This is not the one.
	This is a different one.
	No, this is it.
	This is it.
	Our posts live forever, even when we go to bed.
	Oh, here it comes.
	Let's have some fun.
	Let's show the world how this gets done.
	Let's get social.
	Social.
	Wow.
	Wow, wow, wow.
	I can listen to that.
	I can't.
	The people that do these conferences and social media, they have the same kind of quote-unquote community like YouTubers.
	You know what I mean?
	Yeah, they do.
	All the YouTubers got together.
	I mean, it's really crazy.
	That guy's so great.
	The social media experts all hang out together, and the only thing they're social with is each other.
	Yeah, I'm convinced that...
	And it's the biggest crock of crap ever.
	I'm convinced that the YouTubers, it's a loop.
	They're all eating each other's tails.
	I'm not...
	Well, I stand corrected.
	You watch a lot of these stupid people on YouTube.
	Only to send links to me.
	I know.
	Well, careful.
	And then you finally threatened me.
	I'm going to bring it back.
	He had that crazy hat on.
	Yeah.
	Right.
	And I like the guy in the background.
	Social.
	Like he's the bass man on some old doo-wop group in the 50s.
	Yeah, the newsflash, dude.
	You're not the hurtful.
	Anyway, so this conversation we have to have, that's where we came from.
	And this is the conversation we have to, which, by the way, I am convinced means we're never going to talk about it.
	When people say, yes, this is a conversation we need to have.
	That means we're never, ever, ever, ever going to talk about it.
	Yeah, it's actually become a version of Hollywood speak.
	Yes.
	And this is truly about the political correctness.
	And I got to say, America is the worst.
	You can't say retarded, say the R word.
	You can't say anything around.
	You can't say gyps.
	You've got gyps.
	Oh yeah, gyps.
	What do you have against the gypsies?
	You're hurting somebody's feelings, man.
	You're a bully.
	Well, let's have this conversation right now.
	Here is Howard Dean.
	Now, Howard Dean failed presidential candidate.
	He is now the head honcho of the Democrat Party.
	I think he was for a while.
	I think he's been replaced.
	I don't know what he's doing.
	I think he's running some PAC. They're all running PACs, super PACs now, which is what we should be doing.
	But I want to harken back.
	Do you know the title of this show?
	It's No Agenda, in case you missed that.
	Can I play this little clip from...
	I just want to do a little background on this guy before you...
	On Howard Dean.
	Good, very good.
	And how this guy was a shoo-in for the presidential candidacy of 2008, I believe.
	Way ahead of the curve.
	He had all this social stuff going on.
	He had meetings.
	What?
	Did you say social?
	Let's get social!
	Let's get social!
	Don't hit me.
	It's the secret word of the day!
	Social media!
	Woo!
	Good work, everybody!
	Live it up, Mary McCoy!
	Live it up, bitches!
	Woo!
	Okay, yeah.
	Sorry.
	So no one's ever seen this guy and he was a number, he was a front runner.
	But no one's ever seen him, never seen him talk, never seen him anything.
	They brought him on, I think it was on the Leno show.
	And he comes out and he's got a tie, a big red tie that's down to his knees.
	Okay.
	And he looks like a clown because of this tie.
	And he's a goofball.
	And so right there, he's ruined the candidacy of himself.
	And then, of course, he finally finished himself out.
	He was the guy who made that yell at the end, and it was like on ISO. That's why they killed him.
	They killed him.
	He just looked like an idiot.
	Okay, but he's still around and go.
	I'm just trying to find out what he does right now.
	He is a...
	Let's see.
	Oh, you should have found out.
	I'm reading while you're giving me all this background.
	I don't think he...
	Howard the Duck.
	I don't really know what he does.
	It's not on Wikipedia?
	Yeah, but the Wikipedia is big and long and not well.
	It should just say at the top, he is currently this.
	No, you're right.
	For people like us.
	We have a show to do.
	I actually send money to Wikipedia.
	Five bucks?
	Or three bucks?
	Whatever they wanted?
	No, I send 50 bucks.
	I think that's fair.
	It's just a resource that we use, so I think we owe the money.
	But then, unfortunately, that begging thing pops up everywhere.
	They should make it, okay, hey, thanks, just say thanks, and then don't pop that thing up everywhere.
	So from 2000, I would say the chairman of the National Democratic Committee from 2005 to 2009.
	Yeah, no, he doesn't do anything.
	I'm looking at this.
	Okay, but he's still a go-to guy for MSNBC then, I guess.
	Well, there isn't anybody.
	Yeah, because this is on the, he's on the Morning Joe show.
	By the way, I must say, I think I'm switching from Team Taylor to Team Mika.
	You can't do that.
	Yeah, I can.
	Is this because of all the lesbian kisses that we're finding out about?
	You know, this is a chronic problem.
	I stopped calling these people Muslim terrorists.
	They're about as Muslim as I am.
	I mean, they have no respect for anybody else's life.
	That's not what the Koran says.
	He's an expert on the Koran, by the way, just so you know.
	He's read the Koran in Arabic, apparently.
	Because, you know, that's the only way to read it.
	You know, Europe has an enormous radical problem.
	I think ISIS is a cult, not an Islamic cult.
	He's guys all over the map.
	Europe has an enormous radical problem.
	ISIS is a cult.
	Really?
	It's a cult.
	And I think that, you know, you've got to deal with these people.
	The interesting thing here is we talked about guns the last time in regarding the United States, regarding how guns get in the hands of the kind of people that killed the two police officers here two weeks ago.
	France has tremendous gun control laws, and yet these people are able to get Kalashnikov.
	So, you know, it's this is really complicated stuff.
	Oh, yeah.
	So he just did the worst thing you could do for an anti-gun political party.
	He pretty much said it really doesn't matter how tough the gun laws are, the bad guys will get whatever they want, including AK-47s.
	That's the old meme.
	When guns are outlawed, only outlaws will have guns circa 1965.
	Bingo, boom, shakalaka.
	So it really goes against the grain of what he should be saying.
	And it almost makes an argument.
	Well, in America, if that happened in Texas, the outcome might have been different.
	People would not be sitting up there shooting these guys with their iPhones.
	I seriously think that if I was in that position, I would take someone out.
	I'm no hero.
	No, but you got a guy shooting his Kalisnikov randomly at everybody.
	Yeah, and you had a gun on you?
	You get behind something and start firing.
	Yeah.
	Hell yeah.
	Just randomly.
	I'm sorry, lady.
	Sorry.
	And I think you have to treat these people as basically mass murderers, but I do not think that we should accord them any particular religious respects, because I don't think...
	Whatever they're claiming, their motivation clearly is a twisted, cultish mind now.
	So what we're getting now, and this is very...
	This is the worst kind of analysis.
	Right.
	But what is happening here is a big effort is being made To say, oh, but it's not all Muslims.
	It's not just Islam.
	Why does this continuously happen?
	Why do they have to go to such lengths to say, oh, but it's not all Muslims?
	I don't know.
	You know, if they wanted to do that, if they want to kind of keep the Muslim aspect off of this or away from the argument, why don't they just not even discuss it, just discuss these guys as cold-blooded killers that had a grudge against this magazine?
	And who cares about the Muslim angle?
	They're assholes.
	The only reason we are talking about the Muslim angle is because someone said...
	We don't have that someone documented saying this, that they screamed Alu Akbar and then, you know, revenge for the prophet in French.
	But we don't, I mean, I have no evidence of this.
	I don't know.
	Well, maybe they did, maybe they didn't.
	It's beside the point.
	They're idiots.
	Yeah.
	And I thought it was kind of interesting how...
	But I think the real point you're making, which is one that we have to consider every so often, is what if the French were armed in that situation?
	Yeah.
	And they were lax anyway.
	Apparently the guys had to go there and strong arm some girl to give them the password to get through the gate.
	Right.
	I guess there's a door.
	You've got to be buzzed in.
	Yeah, with a code.
	No, it was a code, I think.
	Yeah, it was a code.
	You punch the code in and you're in.
	Yeah.
	That's not much security.
	No.
	To shift a little bit, just one last clip for me, unless you got something on this.
	Yeah, okay, you can play yours.
	I'm done with this.
	I'm done with Paris, but I'm moving on now to my other favorite spokeshole.
	Now, you know, I can't even, of course, no one can really compete with Jen and Marie.
	I like Josh because he's an idiot, but the biggest idiot of all spokesholes has got to be this Kirby guy.
	For the Pentagon.
	Oh yeah, that guy's great.
	And I gotta start watching him more, because he's a comedy act in himself.
	I would question whether he's not maybe the best of the group in terms of being a bonehead.
	I think he is.
	The problem is he doesn't have good questioners.
	If you put Matt Lee in there, it would be much, much funnier.
	So, listen to this guy completely screw...
	Oh, and by the way, this may be the truth, but he's completely screwing up the positioning on ISIS, ISIL, IS, Dash, advertising, whatever you want to call it.
	But he throws some metaphors in there that are just head-scrashers.
	We know that hundreds of ISIL fighters have been killed.
	Can you be more specific on that number and...
	I cannot give you a more specific number of how many ISIL fighters.
	We just know it's hundreds, several hundred.
	I'd like to make two points.
	First of all, we don't have the ability to count every nose that we schwack.
	What?
	What?
	We don't have the ability to count every nose that we schwack.
	Wow.
	Where does this even come from?
	Wow.
	I'm going to have to stop the show.
	That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard.
	It has to be Clip of the Day.
	I knew it.
	I had it ready.
	I knew it was coming.
	Clip of the Day.
	From his deathbed, he throws out the Clip of the Day.
	Nose to schwack.
	I'll play it again for you just because it was so nice.
	It's not...
	I'd like to make two points.
	First of all, we don't have the ability to count every nose that we schwack.
	Is that a Yiddish term?
	Schwack?
	We're going to have to look into the etymology of this usage.
	Why would it be an official use of the Pentagon?
	Is that the way they're referring to killing people?
	Yeah, we schwacked a few guys this week, Bill.
	You know what?
	Hey, do we have a head count?
	We haven't got a nose count, man.
	Schwack.
	Yeah, S-C-H-W-A-C-K. We'll go to Merriam-Webster.
	A large amount.
	Nah, that can't be right.
	No, that can't be right.
	He said, we schwack.
	This is a verb.
	Is it in the Urban Dictionary?
	Yeah, schwack.
	Schwack.
	Yeah, it's kind of in here.
	Let me read this sentence.
	There's a word used in times of extreme pleasure.
	Well, actually, the top definition is to smack one with one's penis.
	On your nose!
	You know, maybe this is what those guys are all talking about.
	Maybe they're rocking around the Pentagon like, hey man, see that guy over there?
	I schwacked his nose.
	I schwacked Jeff and his mom in the face last night before going to sleep.
	What does that even mean?
	Here's another one.
	Oh my goodness.
	I was on blood gulch and came across a sniper.
	He didn't know I was behind him, so I gave him a schwack and took his sniper rifle, then proceeded to go on a killing spree.
	Is that from Call of Duty?
	It doesn't have a...
	I don't know where that came from.
	It doesn't say.
	I have a common term amongst fellow South LA surfer dudes.
	Swack is a term often to describe the sound of a surfboard hitting the wave.
	Dude, did you see that goth kid?
	He was so schwack.
	This is...
	Wow.
	Bless you.
	Yeah.
	Oh, here's another one.
	Yeah, this is the one you just...
	I schwacked Jeff and his mom in the face last night.
	Here's another one.
	A combination of bitch slap and smack.
	Huh.
	And also, cool.
	It means cool.
	That band was schwack.
	I've never heard that.
	Wow.
	Well, maybe we should be looking at...
	I'm on the number six.
	To hit, drink, or smoke something.
	The hit, drink, or puff of said something as a verb.
	I schwacked my leg off of the desk and it hurt like hell.
	I took a schwack of my soda at lunch.
	So apparently more people thought this was rather peculiar.
	I've been reading...
	I did a search on schwacking the nose...
	I just wonder, does anyone have an analysis of what he really meant?
	I think I know what he means.
	No, he meant he killed the guys.
	How many people we kill?
	Shwack.
	But why would he not?
	Anyway, okay.
	He probably thinks of, he thought of the mobster term whack.
	Yeah, right.
	And then, I don't know, he probably, I don't know what the schwack, well, maybe it might Yiddish it up a little bit.
	Yeah.
	Add a little shuh in there, and they got the shuh, they got the whack, they got the schwack.
	That's what I'm afraid of.
	I'm afraid that this was some kind of Yiddish kind of thing that just came through on Mr.
	Kirby there.
	I don't know.
	Either that...
	Or, you know, someone just schwacked him in the face with a schlong last night and he's still thinking about it.
	I'd like to make two points.
	First of all, we don't have the ability to count every nose that we schwack.
	Number two, that's not the goal.
	Ah!
	Just so you know, our goal is not to schwack every nose.
	This is good, because I was going to be a bit worried about our Pentagon and what their mission is.
	That is not the goal, is schwacking...
	What is the goal then, Mr.
	Kirby?
	That's not the goal.
	The less of these guys that are out there, certainly that's the better.
	But the goal is to degrade and destroy their capabilities.
	And we're not getting into...
	An issue of body counts.
	And that's why I don't have that number handy.
	I wouldn't have asked my staff to give me that number before I came out here.
	Why?
	I think this is significant.
	It's also bull crap.
	No one followed up with a why, of course.
	So what is then the measure of success of the war on ISIS? If body count doesn't count, we have to degrade and ultimately destroy.
	Now this degrade and destroy thing is...
	Is annoying.
	Have we ever done this with any enemy ever in our history?
	We're not going to kill you.
	We just want to degrade your capabilities.
	What is this?
	This is all nonsense.
	Yeah, but there's a reason.
	There must be a reason for this.
	Well, I'm sure there is a reason, which will reveal itself over time.
	Yeah, 25 years when it's declassified.
	We can maybe leapfrogging with an analysis, but I don't have it.
	No, but to me, it just means we have more to do with Daesh, ISIS, ISIL, IS than we are letting on.
	Because we don't want to be killing our own dudes.
	As in, we're behind it?
	Yeah.
	Yeah, I'm not going to argue that point.
	Yeah.
	Because, you know, we don't want to be killing.
	Please, don't get into counting bodies because we're going to degrade it.
	Well, you can degrade it just by turning off the money supply.
	You know, I'm looking at the 36, I think it's the 36B or the 36, yeah, 36B entries on the register.
	The National Register.
	Yeah, there's a couple of things to note here.
	Actually, I want to also do a throwback question or observation.
	First of all, the banking system is pretty secure universally.
	You can't run around, you can't be thrown billions of dollars through the system unnoticed that you can't put a stop to it.
	Right.
	The system can put a stop to it.
	The banking system can put a stop to these guys.
	That was the end of it.
	They don't have any money.
	They have to use, you know, gold coin if they're going to do anything.
	The other thing, by the way, I want to mention, just since we kind of passed on it, I forgot to mention it during the discussion, is, hey, where was NSA with these two guys shooting up the cartoonists?
	They got their ears on everybody.
	How come they didn't spot this coming a mile away?
	Yeah.
	Where is all the great security systems out there that are spying on Americans who are trading stocks?
	Why can't they find these two guys?
	They were using cell phones.
	They were connected like everyone else.
	Huh?
	Yeah, huh?
	I ask you.
	I can only agree.
	This is the 36B1 arms sales notification from January 6, 2015.
	A bad chat out there in Colorado.
	He's the one that always tracks us down.
	He puts us on the Noogen News Network.
	And if, let's see, so we have, you know, when you sell something to some other people, just when you sell weapons, you've got to register your thing with the Pentagon.
	In fact, this letter goes to the Speaker of the House, actually, John Boehner.
	Dear Mr.
	Speaker, pursuant to the reporting requirements, 36B1, Arms Export Control Act.
	As amended, we are forwarding here with Transmittal No.
	13-45 concerning the Department of the Army's proposed letter...
	Letters of offer and acceptance to Iraq for defense articles and services estimated to cost $2.4 billion.
	And of course, the way the letter is written, it's major defense equipment with an asterisk, $1.7 billion.
	And that includes 175 full-track M1A1 Abrams tanks.
	Now, I think I've seen ISIS driving these things.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, so we're sending parts.
	Yeah, they grabbed them.
	Yeah, sure.
	Yeah, they grabbed them.
	I'd rather get to training to drive one of those things.
	I don't think I could just jump in an Abrams tank and hit the start button and drive it around.
	Oh, well, Seth Rogen could.
	Then there's my favorite category on the...
	Yeah, I know.
	My favorite category is other.
	And that's probably the training, $1.7 billion as well.
	So that's full-track M1A1 Abrams tanks with 120 mil guns modified and upgraded to the configuration 15M88A2 improved tank recovery vehicles.
	We've got 175.50 caliber M2 machine guns with a Chrysler mount.
	What is a Chrysler mount?
	Does that mean it won't fit on the Toyota?
	Sounds...
	It could be.
	I don't know.
	Well, now you got me interested.
	We're going to be looking it up.
	Yeah, I got a lot of ammo.
	It's on a machine gun, right?
	Yes, the.50 caliber M2 machine gun with Chrysler mount.
	That's got to be the ones used on the trucks.
	Yeah, for a Chrysler, I presume.
	Well, maybe originally.
	Multipurpose tracer ammo?
	Huh.
	Why would you use tracer ammo?
	Well, you use that because it looks better.
	Target practice, multi-purpose tracer, MO. Okay.
	Vehicular dual long-range radio systems.
	Cargo vehicles, receiver transmitters, simulators, communications, quality assurance teams.
	Oh, there we go.
	Here we go.
	Support equipment, fuel, transportation.
	We're selling the fuel, too.
	Spare and repair parts, site surveys, quality assurance teams, special tools and test equipment, personnel training, training equipment, publications, technical documentation, U.S. government and contractor technical engineering and logistical support, services and related elements of program and logistic support.
	So it's all in there.
	The training is all a part of it.
	We don't just send off a couple of tanks and say, here you go.
	No, no, of course not.
	But this is the stuff.
	These guys are all...
	It's a system.
	It's a system we're selling.
	Yes.
	We're selling systems.
	It's a platform.
	It's a platform, exactly.
	It's a platform.
	Did you find the Chrysler mount?
	I'm looking at it.
	They haven't used them on Jeeps.
	Usually it's in the tank for the machine gun.
	I guess it goes...
	Looking at this one picture...
	Yeah, well, I will look into it more.
	I think it is.
	I don't know where they get these things.
	Huh.
	Yeah.
	So, you know, no wonder we're only trying to degrade.
	We don't actually want to put anybody out of business because we have stuff to sell.
	Yeah.
	And there's lots of stuff.
	I don't know, man.
	Maybe it's just me that finds it strange.
	Why shouldn't it just be on?
	Can it just also be on the news?
	Hey, we just sold $2.4 billion worth of stuff to Iraq.
	That should help degrade and defeat ISIL ultimately.
	Well, the ISIL guys will end up with it.
	That means we have to sell more.
	Yeah.
	Yes!
	Now you're catching on to it.
	That's why we can't have a body count.
	We can't schwack the noses.
	No, no, no.
	We sell $2 billion worth of stuff.
	ISIL, they put it somewhere, like in Mosul.
	And then ISIL comes along, they take it all, and so they're driving down the streets and all our stuff that the Iraqis bought.
	Now they've got to buy more stuff because they had their stuff stolen.
	So we sell them another $2 billion worth of stuff, and then that gets stolen, so we've got to sell them another $2 billion worth of stuff.
	We scold them, of course.
	Yes, of course.
	How much of this stuff do we have to sell you before you don't have it stolen every time?
	And then we go steal it.
	All right, John.
	With that, I would like to thank you for your courage and say, in the morning to you, John C. Chrysler Mount, Dvorak.
	Yeah, well, in the morning to you, Adam Curry.
	In the morning to all ships to sea, boots on the ground, feet in the air, subs in the water, and all the dames and knights out there.
	And a reminder, the subs are always in the water, just so you know, and they are always listening.
	And in the morning to all of our human resources there in the chat room, who are getting social with each other.
	Good to see you all.
	Social.
	Social.
	Social media.
	Ha, ha, ha.
	NoagendaStream.com.
	And thank you to our artists.
	We had...
	I think it was...
	Let me see.
	I wrote it down.
	PewDiePie, who did the art for episode 684.
	Now I have to go look it up because I'm sick.
	I don't remember much.
	Ah, yes.
	This was the Welcome Center piece.
	Very nice.
	Yeah, that was a good one.
	That was a very good piece.
	NoagendaArtGenerator.com.
	Always happy.
	Always, always happy to see the art that shows up.
	And it's always highly appreciated.
	This should be, you know, schwack the nose.
	Maybe this should be a t-shirt or...
	We've got to do something with that.
	Maybe it could be a dance.
	It'll be a show title.
	Swack the nose.
	There you go.
	So we have a little competition going on.
	I see a worldwide competition between our well-heeled knights.
	Oh?
	Starting with Paul Simon, who contributed $799.99 out of Toronto and does have a note that he mailed in.
	Wow.
	Which I will go read.
	Now, does he move into a...
	He's become a baronet.
	And he wants to be the Baron Von Seismark of the upper horseshoe.
	A Seiswell.
	Well, he's...
	No, he's got to hear a Seism...
	He's changed it.
	Oh.
	Sir Seiswell of the upper horseshoe is becoming Baron Von Seismark of the upper horseshoe.
	Okay.
	Let me make sure I have that.
	And here's what he says.
	Mm-hmm.
	In the morning, Rogaine and Flacco...
	The rapid ascent of Sir Don Tommaso.
	This is the kind of thing that used to take place during the feudal era.
	The rapid ascent of Sir Don Tommaso di Toronto has me concerned.
	As I do not want to wake up one day homeless in the Gitmo back bacon, once conquered by our forefathers, I am making the move from baronet to baron with a $7.99 donation.
	Kick in the penny, please.
	I'm kicking as we speak.
	Making it $800.
	Big penny.
	Big penny.
	Please dub me Baron Von Sy's Mark of the Upper Horseshoe, and I'd like to expand my territory westward to boot Sir Gerald's eastern border.
	If Sir Don likes, he can formalize our claim on Cuba.
	I think we need stakes in the ground.
	That's something.
	I'd like a James Brown ISIS in America, followed by a drone again, and a much-needed job, Carmen, to keep this donation party going.
	Wow.
	Baron von Seismark.
	Okay.
	Or Seismark.
	It could be Seismark.
	I think it's Seismark of well-upper Canada.
	That's what he wants.
	Yes, Seismark.
	Sorry, Baron.
	No, it's okay.
	We're good.
	It's a battle.
	It's great.
	I love it.
	it all right here we go we will follow them to the gate hell ISIS. And by the way, that's not true.
	We're not going to follow ISIS to the gates of hell because we're not supposed to be schwacking the noses.
	I think that's the best clip I've decided.
	The drone again.
	Shovey.
	Jobs, jobs, jobs, and jobs.
	Let's vote for jobs!
	You know the sick thing about that is that whole vote for jobs that we've been playing for eight years or whatever we've been playing this now.
	There's no jobs.
	That's the sick part of it.
	I know.
	The jobs that we voted, we didn't actually get any jobs.
	No, no jobs came.
	Just vote for jobs, she yells.
	This is when she was the house speaker.
	Yeah.
	It's hard to remember this.
	She's 80 now.
	Really?
	Well, no, not quite.
	Maybe.
	She might be.
	All right, onward.
	Francis M. Sheehy came in with $600 from Worcester, Massachusetts.
	And not much of a note here, but there is one.
	By this time, I should be a knight.
	That's the note.
	I think it's true.
	What I am recognized is not important.
	I am not looking for karma.
	I do not wish to be de-douched.
	I only want this to continue.
	The show, that is.
	Adios, mofos.
	Well, thank you.
	Fine.
	We'll still do a ceremony for you, if you don't mind, Francis.
	And this is Francis's...
	Sir Sheehy?
	It's a male.
	Good.
	Because it says night, so I'm...
	I'm presuming it says night, so I'm assuming it's...
	Because Francis is an ambiguous name.
	Like Pat.
	Pat, yes.
	Anonymous and parts unknown, $767.89, and we have no information on this person, and they went out of their way to be anonymous as hell.
	So, probably the intelligence community.
	Well, someone wants us to continue.
	It could be Obama.
	It's someone who likes what we're doing.
	Jessica Flood.
	Wouldn't it be sad if it was like Ted Cruz who really liked us or something?
	That would be a little disappointing.
	Wouldn't it be sad?
	That'd be great.
	No.
	Yeah, because we'd be influencing Ted Cruz.
	Okay.
	He needs influencing that guy.
	Oh, that's true.
	Jessica Flood.
	Here's the sweetest note, I believe.
	This is the note that now other women will have to top this note.
	And I have to say, John sent a reply to this.
	And CC'd me on it.
	And you actually said, sweetest note ever.
	I think you had E-V-A-H, actually.
	I did not do E-V-A-H. I said ever E-V-E-R. Dear John, this is Jessica, in West Babylon, New York, $333.33.
	And she asked to read the note.
	We always read the notes if they're over $200, so you don't have to really request that.
	I'm donating today on behalf of my husband, Justin Flood.
	Friday, January 9th is his 33rd birthday.
	Hello?
	3-3.
	And I couldn't think of a better gift than to donate to his favorite podcast.
	We can't think of a better gift either.
	He listens to it during his commute and I know it makes the New York traffic a little less crappy.
	Yeah, I can imagine.
	She says to Justin, despite all the terrible news and all the setbacks of the last year, we still had each other and we still have our dreams.
	There's no one else I'd rather go through life's ups and downs with than you.
	Hopefully 2015 will be much better to us than 2014 was.
	Happy birthday, honey.
	I love you.
	Please give us some karma and also play his favorite jingle, which is Don't Raff.
	Thanks for all the hard work, guys.
	Keep hitting him in the mouth.
	Jessica Flood from Tasty Bagels.
	Well, that's beautiful.
	I thought so.
	So she wanted Don't Raff and what else?
	The long version of Don't Raff and obviously some Karma.
	Oh, that's beautiful.
	That's very nice.
	I can understand.
	And of course she gave all the magic numbers so she must be listening too.
	Yeah, obviously there's a lot of threes involved in this note.
	Don't Raff!
	Why are you laughing?
	Shut up!
	Shut up!
	Shut up.
	You've got karma.
	Hey, Jessica, send us a picture.
	And finally, from Cardiff, UK, $290 from Eric's Harjo.
	Hi, Adam and John.
	Thank you for your amazing news analysis and entertainment mix.
	You guys are truly the best.
	We don't have an entertainment mix.
	What does that mean?
	What he's meaning is that the news is entertaining and together it becomes an entertainment mix.
	Now on Magic 95.5, great news analysis and a fantastic entertainment mix.
	And weather on the 8th.
	You're truly the best podcast in the universe.
	Can I have an Obama A-Team and karma for my eBay shop?
	And I asked him what the eBay shop was, and I don't think I got a note back yet.
	Oh, I'd love to know what the eBay shop is.
	Yeah, I'm going to look him up.
	It must be hard, eBay shop.
	It depends.
	I think if you get the right stuff to sell, I think you do pretty well.
	If there's a need for a rescue mission, when the world is threatened, the world needs help, it calls on America.
	And that's the story.
	Thank you.
	You've got karma.
	Always happy to do that.
	And that's it?
	Let me take one quick look for the eBay shop.
	Okay.
	We can give him a quick plug.
	Here it is.
	Donation to eBay shop.
	Chat room suggests perhaps he sells Chrysler mounts at his eBay shop.
	That would be he being the money.
	Well, you know, you just read these things.
	He's just closing stuff.
	It's a UK shop.
	His store is ebay.co.uk and it's called Gorgeous Clothes and Stuff with an N, just an N. And he is Shop First Aid Kit for Awareness.
	Okay.
	Um...
	Well, holy moly, people.
	Thank you very much for helping us out.
	So we have a couple of nightings later on today.
	Looking forward to that.
	And we do have a Sunday show coming up.
	Remind people to go to Dvorak.org slash NA. Also, channel Dvorak.com, which I think is still down, so don't go there.
	But you can go to the No Agenda Nation or No Agenda Show, actually.
	Yeah, No Agenda Show.
	Click on the button there, and you'll go right to one of the pages.
	But Dvorak.org slash NA is the key.
	And these credits are real.
	You can put them on your business cards.
	You can put them on LinkedIn.
	It's where everyone seems to like to use them.
	And they do apparently work.
	People are interested.
	Hey, how does this person get this producer?
	What's going on here?
	And, of course, we'll always vouch for you if there's any doubt about the fact that you are an executive or associate executive producer.
	I have one PR plug request.
	Wired Magazine or Wired.com.
	Someone sent me this.
	So many podcasts, my phone's about to cave in under the weight of all the shows I've downloaded but haven't listened to yet.
	Even so, we here at Wired are always on the lookout for more.
	Got any great recommendations?
	Please leave them here.
	It's time for us to start getting on this bandwagon.
	Yeah, we need more promotion.
	Everyone should write to this guy on Wired.
	Are you going to put this on the show notes?
	Of course.
	It's in the show notes, and I just posted it in the chat room.
	Oh, okay.
	What is it?
	What's the guy?
	Who is this guy?
	Eric Stoyer.
	Okay, go to...
	The whole link.
	Just go to the show notes.
	The link for this thing is in the show notes.
	There's one step too many for a lot of people.
	Well, then...
	I'm just telling you.
	Just put it into the chat room and that'll be a good boost.
	We just need a few people to do it.
	Yeah, this guy will probably like our show.
	Most people who aren't clinically insane love our show.
	Yeah, they do.
	It's true.
	Once they figure out what the show's about.
	I'm sorry?
	They gotta get into the show.
	The show's pretty...
	Well, I got a note from the nurses that we were talking about.
	Woo!
	Yeah.
	They said thanks for the nurse prop.
	Props.
	Nurse props.
	Yeah.
	Oh, that was it?
	It was just your name here.
	You'll do a lot of people.
	All right.
	Well, science is in!
	Hey, go out there and propagate our formula, will you?
	Our formula is this.
	We go out, we hit people in the mouth.
	Shut up, Wayne.
	Shut up.
	Hello, your name here.
	I had a great time meeting you.
	Thanks for the nurse props.
	Okay, nice.
	Alrighty then.
	Alrighty then.
	Let me see.
	There's a new meme, and this meme came to meme.
	With a link to, let's see, this was a little report here, and an anonymous, but not anonymous to me, person who I do believe is in a position to know that this is happening.
	That's all I can say.
	That we have, there's going to be a new avenue in the fight against climate change.
	Oh, good.
	Yes.
	Good.
	I'm getting tired of the old stuff.
	Yes.
	So they're going to fill something new in there.
	You ready for it?
	Okay.
	The Delaware-sized methane cloud over New Mexico has become an increasing cause for concern and a point of contention among environmentalists and energy companies.
	The Washington Post reports that despite its 2,500 square mile spread, the plume is invisible from the ground and thus went largely undetected for some time.
	About three years ago, its presence was brought to light when it showed up on images taken by NASA satellites.
	The researchers who looked into the matter were so shocked by the readings that they were certain something had malfunctioned.
	It turned out that was not the case and the massive gaseous spread is real.
	The primary cause is fuel mining as methane releases a side effect of a number of extraction processes.
	While methane itself is an energy source, it's not one that companies drilling for oil are particularly interested in collecting or containing.
	Environmentalists and a number of scientists, on the other hand, are greatly concerned about the effects of leaving such a powerful greenhouse gas flow freely into the air.
	President Obama is expected to soon announce measures to shrink the cloud size.
	But while the specifics are not known, members of Congress who support the energy industry are expected to push back.
	He's going to shrink the cloud size.
	Shrink the cloud, Barack!
	Yeah, so the message I got is methane is the new carbon dioxide.
	And it was suggested we actually put this in the book, even in the Red Book.
	And the reason why is kind of simple.
	So first of all, this methane cloud is over New Mexico, which really doesn't make a lot of sense the way the global warming, climate change community has been looking at the creation of methane.
	They all pretty much universally say, oh, it's because of the acidification and the CO2 goes into the ocean and then methane comes pooping out of the ocean.
	And speaking of pooping, the other way we get methane is cow farts, which, you know, it's funny.
	And then permafrost.
	Permafrost melts, you get methane released.
	Hold on a second.
	Let's back up.
	They claim, at least what I heard from that clip, is that this is a function of the...
	Fracking.
	Fracking, and the guys don't give a crap about it.
	Correct.
	But methane is what they're collecting, mostly.
	This I wouldn't know.
	Part of natural gas, a big chunk of it, a big component, is methane.
	So why don't they give a crap?
	I don't know.
	Oh, here we are fracking away all the hell with it.
	Let it all go into the air.
	Is that what they're saying?
	That's what I heard.
	That's what I heard, yeah.
	But he specifically said that, oh, they don't give a crap about the methane because methane's only here as a greenhouse gas that we can exploit.
	I mean, seriously.
	Well, I don't know if we need to be debating that.
	I just wanted us to get it on our radar and our producers out there to be listening for methane to move into...
	Look, the CO2 thing, it's just not working anymore.
	We had 350 parts per million.
	It would be catastrophic if we went past that.
	And we're now at 460 parts per million.
	And I don't know, let me check.
	I can still breathe.
	I'm not dead yet.
	So, you know, it just hasn't worked for them.
	But methane, yeah, methane, you know, you can start pushing a lot, you know, more buttons, and it's much more dangerous, and we have a methane cloud we can talk about.
	There's no carbon dioxide cloud.
	Methane in the form of compressed natural gas is used as a vehicle fuel.
	Methane is important for electrical generation.
	By burning it as a fuel in a gas turbine or steam generator, compared to other hydrocarbon fuels, burning methane produces less carbon dioxide.
	But yet, these drillers are just throwing the methane away.
	That's what the guy said.
	Yeah.
	Oh, they don't care about the methane.
	Yeah, they care about the methane.
	This is very interesting, because if they really start going on and on about methane as the, it could become the greenhouse gas that we're all talking about, and they continue on, it's the frackers, then that would be a big mistake.
	Well, it's because they've got this.
	So whoever dreamed this pitch up is an idiot.
	That's the problem.
	Oh, the giant cloud of methane.
	Well, let's go grab that cloud.
	It's worth money.
	I don't think this is going to fly.
	Okay.
	This will be the last we hear of it.
	Wait, wait.
	Take it back.
	Give it 30 days.
	That'll be the last one.
	Okay.
	Well, I'll give it 30 days.
	This is the message I got from someone who I think probably sits in meetings where this person would hear this.
	Methane is the new CO2. It's okay.
	They've always said that they like the idea of methane, because it is, insofar as this chemistry isn't...
	Methane is like CO2 in terms of being a greenhouse gas.
	And they like to argue that the permafrost, the people up in Greenland, for example, has got lots of built-up methane in the snow.
	It's all in there.
	And so you melt it all, and boom, the methane all goes into the air.
	That's what we had Holdren talking about.
	Yeah, we're doomed.
	We just don't really know how much it'll take to melt the permafrost.
	But what this has to do with a cloud over New Mexico from fracking is beyond me.
	And why it doesn't dissipate?
	We do have atmospheric conditions that would blow this crap all over the place.
	Well, you recall that the president is going to announce measures to shrink the size of the cloud.
	Now, this could be interesting.
	You could do that with, well, geoengineering, I would say.
	It can get fun.
	Well, on the topic of...
	This is what I find to be a funny story because...
	Why did you play that?
	Geoengineering.
	Oh, I see.
	Oh, yeah.
	You could probably spray the methane with something.
	You know, like lighter fluid and then just torch the whole thing off.
	Yeah.
	Play quakes in Texas, and tell me what's missing from this report done on the network news.
	The ground won't stop shaking in Texas.
	Eleven quakes of various strengths in the last 24 hours, mostly in the Fort Worth area.
	No injuries, no cause, no serious damage quite yet, just to people's nervous systems.
	No cause.
	Well, this fracking has gone crazy.
	Of course it's fracking.
	And this is a known factor in the earthquake.
	There's an area in Nevada that has a bunch of fracking and they got just nothing but quakes going on, these little shakers.
	They're annoying.
	Are they really?
	Yeah, quakes are annoying.
	Hmm.
	You don't think so?
	No, I always found them to be interesting.
	No, no, no, they're annoying.
	It gives you something to talk about.
	Well, I'd rather talk about other things.
	Whatever the case, and I think, you know, the idea of putting all these lubricants into the faults where there's areas where there's...
	I haven't heard about this.
	Lubricants?
	Well, I mean, this is what they're doing.
	This is what it sounds like.
	You get into some of these crazy fault areas, like Texas has a lot of faults that never get...
	They never move because they've just been there forever, but they're there.
	I guess they move every million years or something, and then you just throw a bunch of oil and lubricants down in there, just move it in there, and oil them up, and then they start to move.
	Lube up Mother Earth.
	So lubing up California seems to be like the worst idea in the world, and luckily the Californians decided to ban fracking.
	I don't think the Californians need any more lube.
	I think they're lubed up enough as is.
	Well, there's that.
	Anyway, I just thought it was funny how he just glossed it over.
	No idea why it's happening.
	It's a mystery!
	I was looking at, of course, it's snowing again over in Europe.
	Something that the poor British children would never see ever again.
	I wish we had a clip of that.
	It's only an article in, was it The Guardian?
	It was a big deal.
	There was a lot of people writing about it.
	But it was 10 years ago, so...
	Yes, unfortunately.
	The only place children would see snow would be in snow globes and in Disney movies.
	Yes.
	That's what the pronouncement was by the experts.
	Now, in the UK, but also the Netherlands, as many places, they have these wind farms in the North Sea.
	Or the channel.
	In this case, the North Wales coastline.
	And I used to see them all the time, of course, because I'd fly, you know, flying over.
	I find it to be so strange that, you know, it's like, hey, let's just put this stuff into the water.
	I don't know.
	I never liked the idea.
	But now that it's so cold and there's not a lot of wind, they literally are powering these windmills.
	With diesel-powered energy to keep them turning so they don't freeze and break.
	Welcome to the modern world.
	This is so crazy.
	Because they're not turning and it's cold, we have to now use electricity to turn these things over to keep them rotating.
	Comey came out with a confirmation that it was North Korea.
	Did you hear this?
	I read about it.
	Do you have a clue?
	I have a clue.
	Now listen carefully, because you're the one who spotted this.
	He doesn't do it every time, but he does it the first time.
	His little right?
	Am I right?
	It's very subtle.
	He's very subtle, right?
	It's very subtle, right?
	It's right.
	We ready?
	The director of the FBI now says there is very clear evidence that North Korea was behind the hacking of Sony Pictures.
	James Comey sought today to answer skeptics who have said the U.S. provided no evidence to support its claim.
	He told a conference in New York that U.S. investigators tracked the hackers and found the evidence.
	Several times they got sloppy.
	Several times, either because they forgot or they had a technical problem, they connected directly and we could see them.
	And we could see that the IP addresses that were being used to post and to send the emails were coming from IPs that were exclusively used by the North Koreans.
	The Sony Pictures computer network was crippled as the company promoted The Interview, a comedy about a plot to kill North Korea's leader.
	The film is now available online and in a limited number of theaters.
	So I only heard him do it once, right?
	Yeah, it was at the beginning.
	But is this the secret evidence?
	This is the secret evidence?
	They found an IP address.
	By the way, it's not as if somebody can't route through that address, or that somebody can't spoof that address, or somebody can't do a million things with that IP address.
	Or there was a Chinese guy sitting there, or worse, an American agent at that IP address.
	Well, like it.
	Could be anything.
	But that's proof.
	To this guy.
	Yeah, this is not proof of anything.
	It's not proof of anything.
	It's just less proof, it seems to me.
	They got nothing.
	And Comey is not...
	The FBI gets a hair up their ass about something and they can't get off it.
	They could never say, well, we're rethinking it.
	What's going to happen is eventually the guys who did this because they're going to get cocky or something's going to happen and they're going to get caught, the real guys, That ex-Sony employee.
	Sony's going to probably put investigators on this.
	So they find the guys.
	Because these guys need to be found.
	So they'll find the guys.
	And there'll be a big deal about it.
	And then the FBI will be asked about this.
	And then they'll have some bullcrap excuse.
	Well, you know, at the time, we didn't think it was that important.
	Oh, I don't even think they'll respond.
	It won't be necessary.
	Everyone will forget about it.
	Yeah, maybe.
	I got a note from Don.
	Hmm.
	The plot thickens.
	Well, I had sent him a note, and I had said, let's see what I wrote here, about the crazy demonization by the administration for the Sony hack, even though clearly this is not a shoo-in.
	And I say, interesting how almost covered up by this continuous messaging from Pyongyang and President Park about a possible reunification.
	Yeah.
	So that's the real news here.
	And he comes back and says, Adam, I think it's very significant that Kim Jong-un himself spoke, giving his New Year's message, which I've not read through.
	I read through the translated transcript.
	It's pretty funny.
	And saying that he would like to meet with Park Jun-hye.
	See, I only said Park, which is, of course, a faux pas, so Don comes back.
	It's Park Jun-hee, I guess.
	This has evoked positive responses from the ROK Prime Minister.
	This is something I wanted to point out to you.
	We don't say South Korea, we say ROK, all caps.
	If you're in the biz.
	Just a note.
	This has evoked positive responses from the ROK Prime Minister and Unification Minister, so that is good.
	I think controversy will continue to swirl around U.S. charges of NK hacking, also notable NK, and the new sanctions will not amount to much.
	So on we go.
	Cheers, Don.
	Whatever that means.
	On we go.
	The same bull crap continues.
	what it means.
	Yeah, yeah.
	A couple interesting things.
	I got a thing for you.
	Play the Blitzer teaser.
	Oh boy.
	Tens of thousands of lives potentially at risk in what could be the worst flu season here in the United States in years.
	A leading doctor tells me, though, it's not too late to protect yourself.
	Ah!
	I could put a condom over my head.
	Yes, thank goodness.
	That was from three years ago.
	Oh, really?
	Good word.
	Yeah, that was good.
	You got me there.
	You got me.
	Harry Reid, who I saw in your newsletter, spoke...
	All beat up.
	We've got to talk about this.
	Yes.
	And I thought it was...
	So someone went to his house and interviewed him.
	And I think this...
	We believe, particularly because the guy's in Nevada, Nevada, Nevada.
	You know, he's coming in to, you know, there's a new house.
	He is now a minority.
	He's ousted from the, he's the Senate.
	Senate, I'm sorry.
	Yeah.
	He's, you know, but he's been ousted, but he did something wrong or said something wrong, and someone beat him up.
	Yeah.
	Seems very obvious.
	He's got a big black eye.
	I don't see...
	A bunch of broken ribs where they kicked him.
	Yeah.
	I don't see any other damage, but his right eye is like someone really socked him.
	They broke his eye socket.
	Yeah, yeah.
	That's what it looks like.
	Yeah, probably with a baseball bat.
	Now, we analyze how people talk all the time.
	And often when someone is lying, they will actually try and refute the lie in the lie.
	And it'll be a big tell because even though you haven't asked, now remember, he's just saying this was some exercise equipment, that something snapped, that was the initial reports, that it was like one of those rubber bands, which I have never really heard of those snapping, but okay.
	And when they snap, they don't snap like a rubber band.
	And they don't break your eyes off.
	They go dead.
	It's a strange type of rubber.
	It's very safety-oriented.
	So I think Harry Reid went way overboard in trying to play down...
	I'm glad you have this clip.
	...any thinking whatsoever that maybe he was beat up.
	Most people know I fought for a couple of years.
	After any one of those fights, I never look like I do now.
	However...
	I didn't get this black eye by sparring with Manny, by challenging Floyd Mayweather.
	I didn't go bull riding.
	I wasn't riding a motorcycle.
	I was exercising in my new home.
	And the doctors have told me I better take it easy.
	I had my presentation all made to start the new Congress.
	I've been doing new Congresses for my 33rd year, and I really have some homesickness, for lack of a better description.
	So he drops into 33, which is always a clue for us, and he was exercising in his new home.
	Just whatever you think, he was not fighting, he was not boxing, didn't challenge Merriweather.
	Who asked you that?
	In all the years of boxing, I never looked this bad.
	Who asked you that?
	We did make that point clear.
	But I think that, to me, means this wasn't a fair fight.
	It was three guys.
	I was exercising my home.
	They came in and they beat me up.
	Well, that's apparently what happened.
	I think so.
	So here's an interesting thing.
	He assumed office in 1987.
	Mm-hmm.
	Add 33 to that.
	I'm too fuzzy to do that.
	Well, I can do that.
	0, 3, 8, 19, 11, 12.
	That would be, I guess, 2020.
	So, it can't quite be his 33rd year is what you're saying.
	Well, it looks like.
	If he assumed office in January 3rd, 1987.
	Hmm.
	8, 9, 10, 11, 12.
	You add 33 to that because that's the number he dropped in for an obvious reason that we believe was code.
	It always is.
	And the number comes out to be 2020.
	Hmm.
	What's the date?
	What year are we dealing with here?
	We're 2015, so that's his offer.
	So it's five years off.
	It would have been even better if he said, look, I didn't get schwacked in the nose.
	Yeah.
	No, he didn't.
	He got schwacked in the eyes.
	So this is very sketchy.
	But of course, what it is, we don't know.
	I mean, the style of corruption and mob type corruption in Nevada is beyond our comprehension.
	And the kind of deals that this guy's done over the years is completely outside of our purview.
	We have no idea.
	We're not even close to having a clue.
	But it was something that much we know.
	I was looking for this earlier, but just because of my state.
	And by the way, I'm not eating.
	I have a lozenge for my sore throat.
	No, I'm not going to complain.
	No, I'm telling everyone else.
	You were eating is disgusting.
	I don't want to hear you listening.
	Hey, before we leave the Harry Reid thing, can we talk a minute about marketing?
	Because I think there's people that like to know some of the things I do when I do the newsletter.
	Yes, please.
	This time, and I just thought this was kind of fascinating.
	I don't do this that often.
	I do it once in a while, but I did an A-B split on the last newsletter.
	Oh, you went for a marketing test?
	Yes, I did a marketing test, and I found it fascinating.
	I've done these before.
	I don't do them a lot, but I do them once in a while, and I usually learn nothing.
	Now, and I never talk about it on the show, so I must have learned something, and I have.
	It's very interesting.
	And this is just about the kind of When I do the newsletter, people, they respond to some things, some things they don't.
	It's like a little whirl into itself when the newsletter comes, but it's never been more apparent than with this particular A-B split.
	Okay.
	So the A-B split was, and this is, nothing was different except one thing, because you'd have to test very specifically, and this was the subject line.
	Ah, okay.
	Okay.
	The subject line in group A was first cute kitten pic of 2015, burr, with BRR with an explanation.
	I didn't get that one.
	I got a different one.
	You got pic of Harry Reid beaten up.
	What happened?
	Yes, that's the one I got.
	Alright, so I learned to count.
	This is very interesting.
	Now, first of all, let me just ask you, because you don't know until you test, but what would you think would be the results of this in terms of opens?
	There was a difference in opens.
	Okay, so I would think, and that is also because when I saw the newsletter come in, I went, oh, that's interesting.
	I want to see this picture.
	So I would think that the Harry Reid beaten up picture would rule.
	Over the first kitten pick of the year.
	Right.
	Now the difference was minor, but it was significant.
	Minor but significant makes no sense, but it was noticeably different.
	The Harry Reid picture did outperform in terms of opens and in terms of relooks.
	So people opened more and then they looked at it again.
	They went back for more?
	Well, a lot of people do.
	They go back.
	Some people, ten times, they go, oh, really?
	Maybe there's something new in here.
	Really?
	I don't know why they do it, but they do.
	But that's not what happened initially.
	When the results first came in, when the thing was shipped out, the kitten pig just jumped ahead of the Harry Reid picture.
	And then it moved over, over time, as people later in the day started picking up their emails or whatever.
	In other words, the enthusiasts, people who are just on their email all the time, and as soon as it comes in, they open.
	Right.
	Those types of people apparently are a different type of person.
	They'd be attracted to kittens, and the picture of Harry Reid being beaten up is a different type of person.
	So we have two different kinds of people.
	And once you get that kind of thing, then you get some interesting information.
	Here's what was interesting.
	I could go over this for hours, but the thing that really got me...
	Was the total clicks.
	In other words, people who clicked on one of the links that was either donate, which is the only links I had in this particular newsletter.
	Can you click on the pictures to get bigger versions of the pictures?
	No, no.
	I had none of those variables.
	The picture was the picture.
	The chat room believes they are all your lab rats, by the way.
	No, when you're trying to get people to read and open newsletters, there's things you have to do to get them to do it, because they won't open these letters.
	Newsletter number 10.
	Nobody will open it.
	Okay, but what I would like to do, and I enjoy listening to this, and I think it's very good that we do this on the show, but I would like to call it John C. Dvorak's Big Data Report instead.
	Newsletter sounds a little, you know, wanky.
	Big data report.
	We need to position ourselves as the big data guys who know what they're talking about.
	This was the interesting part of it.
	Now, the difference between opens was about 2%.
	2% more people opened of Harry Reid being beaten up.
	Well, is that not just negligible?
	That's a big deal.
	That's a lot.
	Oh, okay.
	Oh, yeah.
	Percentages are a big deal with this sort of thing.
	But, this is the thing that fascinates me.
	Total clicks was twice, over twice as many people clicked on the kitten These newsletters were identical, by the way.
	They click on one and not the other.
	You know why?
	They were like, where's the cute kitten?
	They saw the kitten.
	The kitten was at the end.
	It was a cute little kitten.
	You saw the kitten.
	Both of the newsletters had the kitten picture.
	Their newsletters were totally identical.
	But the people who clicked on Harry Reid being beaten up...
	And the people who clicked on the first cute kitten pic were a different type of person.
	So in other words, the kitten people are more, they seem to be nicer.
	They're just nicer people.
	They don't want to see some guy who's been beaten up.
	And so they clicked more.
	Wow.
	So it created an actual world.
	The subject line itself created a world.
	The world of kittens and the world of a beaten up senator.
	And the world of kittens is more open to clicking and donating.
	I doubt if anybody who opened the Harry Reid email...
	Donate anything.
	Oh, okay.
	Fascinating.
	So you have to keep this.
	So this is the message for you marketers out there.
	You've got to be upbeat no matter what.
	You just see it's upbeat is better as opposed to downbeat because Harry Reid being beaten up is downbeat messages.
	It's only in the subject line.
	The newsletter is exactly the same, but it's downbeat.
	You're immediately down.
	Oh, the guy's been beaten up.
	Oh, look at that.
	He's been beaten up because you focus on it.
	The other one, oh, where's the cute kitten?
	Where's the cute kitten?
	Oh, that's great.
	I'll give them, I'll donate, I'll contribute, maybe become a producer.
	So that's, I learned, I personally found that to be extremely eye-opening.
	Wow.
	There you have it.
	Well, let's play the song.
	Social.
	All right.
	So for next, for the next newsletter, I suggest you to do another A, B test.
	And the first one is extremely cute kitten picture.
	And the B would be extremely cute pussy picture.
	Uh-huh.
	Would you think it'll make a difference?
	No.
	Oh, okay.
	Some people won't open it because they think it's some sort of a gag.
	Yeah, exactly.
	I could try kittens versus dogs.
	I think that might be an interesting test.
	That might work.
	But see, now we've blown it because now you said it.
	Now people are going to be waiting for them.
	Yeah, they'll be looking for it.
	So I have to wait.
	I'll wait.
	It takes a while.
	About six months from now, I can run another test.
	You're funny.
	But at least I learned something.
	I mean, I was actually stunned by this data.
	I can understand.
	Yeah.
	Wow.
	People do not like to be bummed out.
	Well, okay.
	And it bothers me when somebody says, because we try to make our show so you get a kick out of the news, out of the crazy lies that you're being presented by the mainstream media.
	But every once in a while it says, oh, I get so depressed listening to your show.
	Why?
	Let's try and spice it up a little bit.
	Wow.
	Okay.
	I wanted to go back to the FBI and Comey.
	Okay.
	And I was looking for it earlier, but I couldn't find it that quickly.
	The FBI has...
	We all know about the stingrays, these boxes, and they suck up...
	It looks like a cell tower, and then your cell phone connects to it, and it sucks all your data out.
	I want one.
	Which is still not...
	We don't exactly know what it sucks out.
	But the...
	I think the ACLU... Sent a FOIA request.
	I think they're actually suing the FBI. Let me see if I can find it here.
	And the question was, do you not need or do you need a warrant when you have a Cessna flying over a city?
	And so they can pick up tens of thousands of cell phone IMEI numbers and a whole bunch of things they can suck out of these cell phones.
	When they fly it over a city or any open space or if there's a protest or demonstration going on.
	And the FBI, yeah, you wouldn't believe it, but they literally have said, here we go, the FBI policy requires FBI agents to obtain a search warrant whenever a call site simulator, that's what it's officially called, is used as part of an FBI investigation or operation unless one of several exceptions apply.
	Including cases that pose an imminent danger to public safety, which of course is the one you can always evoke, but cases that involve a fugitive, or, and this is the interesting one, cases in which the technology is used in public places or other locations at which the FBI deems there is no reasonable expectation of privacy.
	Which means the FBI is equating the sucking...
	The sucking of your cell phone with you walking down the street and someone observing you walking down the street with a camera or other kind of surveillance, which I find to be an abhorrent comparison.
	I think it's aspecious, too, because it's not the same.
	No.
	For one thing, I see people walking down the street and yakking about something.
	I guess I could follow them and hear what they're saying, but I can't hear the other side of the conversation.
	No.
	And you can, and I don't know who they're talking to.
	Exactly.
	Exactly.
	I mean, once in a while in an airplane, you get this, you get some blowhard, and he's, yeah, well, I'll tell you, you know, I'll be at the line, give me a call at 717-555, and he goes on with some number, I write it down.
	Right.
	And then I call the guy and leave us a loot message.
	So this has risen up to the level of, what's it, Chuck Grassley and some other dude.
	Leahy.
	And they are now asking Comey questions.
	And Holder.
	And J. Johnson.
	J. Johnson.
	And here's a bit of their letter.
	Dear Attorney General Holder and Secretary Johnson, in recent months, media reports have detailed the use of cell site simulators, often referred to as IMSI catchers or stingrays.
	It'd be federal state law enforcement agencies.
	And they have another cool one in here.
	The Wall Street Journal reported that the United States Marshal Service regularly deploys airborne cell site simulators referred to as dirt boxes.
	I've never heard of this either.
	DRT, dirt box.
	From five metropolitan area airports across the United States.
	Huh.
	Yeah, that's all it is, really?
	Um...
	Let me tell you, when Obama comes to town, and he stays usually at the Intercontinental, or he puts an office up there, which is nearby where Buzzkill Jr.
	works.
	And the last time he was in town...
	You have told us this, you realize, right?
	Yeah, I'm going to tell you again.
	Good.
	Last time he was in town, all of a sudden, all the iPhones that were in the office were essentially drained from their battery.
	Their battery life just went to hell because the phones were...
	He believes they don't know.
	He believes they lock onto the phone and then they suck it dry, make it produce all its data, and they send it over.
	This is what he thinks is going on.
	And, of course, I told him, and I always tell people this, when you feel that your iPhone is being tapped like that, which is apparently what's going on...
	Just take the battery out.
	I don't have a phone.
	This is the beauty of it.
	I know.
	Me, no phone have.
	You missed the battery gag.
	I laughed at the battery gag with the iPhone.
	I got the battery gag.
	It's just, you know, haha.
	I got the gag, John.
	Seriously.
	Okay.
	You can also wrap the phone in aluminum foil, folks.
	I have the flu.
	Yeah, okay.
	A dirt box or DRT box, DRT is I guess one of the keys, is digital receiver technology.
	That's the name of the company.
	It's a phone device mimicking a cell phone tower designed to create a signal strong enough within the short range as to force dominant or dormant mobile phones to automatically switch over to it.
	It's used by the U.S. Marshals Service mounted on aircraft or all over the U.S. to detect and locate cell phones and thus collect information and can be used to jam.
	Mm-hmm.
	The name stems from the company that originally developed a digital receiver technology, Inc., abbreviated DRT, owned by Boeing.
	Oh, yeah.
	Huh.
	Well, since we're talking about this stuff, we might as well view...
	The only good phone's a landline, and the phone should be made out of Bakelite.
	Hey now, tech news, everybody!
	What was I going to say about the tech news?
	Oh, yes.
	Have you followed any of the CES coverage?
	What do you think?
	Well, it's just the same show as usual.
	It's a bunch of crap nobody needs.
	I think it's worse.
	I think it's degraded into wearable things that are completely useless.
	Totally.
	Smart home things that are completely useless.
	Yes.
	And the people who are useless that go to CES to look at these useless things.
	Pretty much.
	The self-watering flowerpot.
	I mean, I'm hearing the same pitch now.
	This is year 30.
	I'm hearing about your smart home and how it's going to know when you come in and turn on the lights.
	It makes me want to throw up.
	It's been going on forever.
	When I was...
	I think I was still in high school or college when they had the first X3 or this...
	X10. X10 and the Radio Shack sold this stuff.
	Yeah.
	That was the only time there was a standard, actually.
	Yeah.
	And it was around and I think I bought a couple devices and I put one in my mom's house, I remember, and then she couldn't deal with it and she had to take it out.
	It's too complicated!
	You had those cheap jack, like, remote controls with the bar, and you clicked on one side for on, and it would also be a dimmer, and ultimately they all buzzed.
	They're right, they all buzzed.
	Caused horrible interference everywhere.
	Yeah, no, this has been going on forever.
	I don't know what the appeal of this, oh, here's a thermostat that programs itself.
	I don't want my thermostat programming anything.
	Yeah.
	I literally heard someone say, it was some woman, and she was good, you know, these product pitch people.
	And I think she said, what was it?
	So, you know, really, when you get up in the morning, just choose the tracker that you want for that day.
	Like, wow, if you just remove yourself for a minute and put yourself into like a futuristic sci-fi movie, where people have actually been trained to put on the tracker that's appropriate for that day...
	Nuts.
	Yeah.
	Smart light bulbs.
	Yeah, the Internet of Things has become a big deal to show, and the Internet of Things is a joke.
	I mean, there's some, I can see some things, some, you know, in some situation, but they're making it sound as, there's a woman on one of these podcasts, video podcasts going on about, no, it was audio.
	Whatever the case was, she's at the show with these other people, because every newspaper and magazine has got five or six people there looking for stuff.
	And she's going on and on about it.
	Oh, and then there's a Bluetooth light bulb, and it's only $30 for this light bulb, and you can turn it on and off with your phone.
	Oh my goodness.
	And I'm thinking, why do I need to turn off this $30 overpriced light bulb?
	It didn't have a lousy lumens to it.
	It didn't have enough oomph to do anything.
	So it was like $30 for a crappy light bulb that barely lights and it's Bluetooth enabled.
	And she was giddy about this thing.
	I've just seen absolutely nothing of any appeal.
	Other than, oh, here's what I saw.
	I saw the keynote was the CEO of Samsung, and he highlighted our Grand Dukes outfit there, the Ultraflix.
	Yeah, with his four, because if you want 4K content, that's what our guy does.
	Grand Duke David Foley.
	And they got an award.
	He's the 4K guy.
	And he got an award.
	He's at the show.
	Yeah, he sure is.
	When I see these tech shows, I'm like, oh, there's no 4K content.
	Well, maybe you should Google once or twice.
	Yeah, there's plenty of 4K. Yeah, it's coming online.
	I think the marketing is the problem, as usual, because 4K is now, you know, some companies are marketing it as ultra HD. Okay.
	They should have stuck with 4K. I thought that was great, yeah.
	Yeah, it is too.
	Because then when it goes to 8K, you can figure it out.
	What are you going to do?
	Ultra HD? UHHH? UHD? Some other bull crap?
	Yeah, they got a bunch of 4K sets all over the place.
	A lot of curved screens, which I don't understand the appeal of that.
	Well, it's to give you a good viewing angle, no matter where you sit, is the idea.
	How does that even work, if you think about it?
	I don't know, but my...
	It makes no logical sense, because the thing is curved away from you.
	If you're over far enough, you can't see the right side.
	You're over far to the right, because it's curved.
	The girl at the nail salon, who does my pedicure, she has one.
	She has a curved TV. Excuse me?
	Yeah, you heard me.
	You've had a pedicure?
	Oh yeah.
	Yeah, Mickey takes me.
	Sure.
	Huh.
	I like it.
	I bet you do.
	Dude, have you ever been to a chick salon for pedicure?
	No.
	Let me tell you about this experience.
	Especially where the fish eat your toes.
	No, no.
	Let me tell you about this experience.
	So you go in, it's called, I don't know what it's called.
	So you go into the salon, and there's big Barco lounger type chairs.
	Big, comfortable, and they recline.
	And you drink champagne, and there's movies playing.
	As you tilt back, you can watch a movie.
	So far, there's nothing you've said that I can't do at home.
	Well, but then these cute girls come up and then they put your feet in the water.
	Are they Korean?
	No.
	Cute girls, I said.
	Korean girls can be cute.
	Not the nail salons.
	Not the nail salon Korean girls.
	No, cute girls.
	And then they massage your feet, man.
	Massage them and they're like stroking them.
	And then they clip your nails a bit and then they massage some more and stroke some more.
	I'm telling you.
	You come to Austin, I'll take you to the salon.
	Yeah, we can do it together.
	That would be great.
	That's not weird.
	It's not.
	There's nothing wrong with it.
	Alright, go back to your little story about the dirtbags.
	No, I don't think I have much more on the dirtbags other than we need to get an answer by...
	That I will tell you.
	We need to get an answer by what about what?
	Oh, well, how the FBI... Oh yeah, we need to get an answer.
	Let's get back to where we were at CES, that's what it was.
	Yeah, that's where I was, and then you asked me another question.
	Yeah, okay, I'm sorry.
	So CES, no, I saw nothing.
	I saw Callie Lewis with her Geekbeat sales job.
	Man, that show has become sad.
	Well, at least they're streaming these...
	Yeah, but they just take money from people to promote the products.
	Yeah, well, it works.
	Yeah.
	Come on on!
	Thanks for the money and give us some free product.
	What does your product do?
	Oh, it's fantastic!
	That product is...
	Oh, I want one so bad!
	It's amazing.
	It's just amazing what it can do.
	How do you guys do it?
	It's just amazing.
	It's so amazing.
	Really, it's outstanding amazing.
	Yeah.
	No, I watched.
	I was sick, of course.
	I'm sitting down just watching.
	Nothing, nothing at all of any interest.
	It seems like we are stuck in such a rut with technology.
	I predict right now, here and today, that the whole technology news business is going to start falling apart.
	Going to start?
	Well, yeah.
	It's only been increasing and getting more space and more people are doing it.
	I think it's...
	Well, more people are doing it is causing it to fall apart.
	That's part of it, but there's also nothing new.
	Nothing.
	There's nothing new to talk about.
	Hey, let me go.
	I'm going to go to my flagship PC magazine and see, because they got a bunch of people there.
	I could have gone, I guess.
	They had a party.
	You can go get some flu.
	Yeah, that's what's going to happen to everybody.
	They're all going to get the flu.
	It's pretty funny.
	So here we go.
	Best of CES 2015 is what they found to be the best.
	Okay.
	Best phone, the LG G Flex 2.
	It's a phone that's bent.
	I don't want to bend in my phone any more than I want to bend in my penis.
	Okay.
	What else we got here?
	Anything?
	I don't want a bent phone either.
	Okay, what do we got next?
	We got...
	Oh!
	Best phone accessory.
	The Lenovo Vibe extension selfie flash.
	Oh, by the way, this was...
	Please say it's not true.
	Yeah.
	Selfie extension?
	A selfie vibe extension, flash extension, so you can do some really fancy footwork.
	Now, I was going to get you, we don't buy each other gifts, but I was going to get you a gift, and it was going to be one of those sticks.
	Yeah, the selfie stick.
	The selfie stick.
	People actually walk around with these things.
	Yeah, and they got their phone on the end of it.
	I see them all the time.
	I think it's even funnier when they have to answer the phone and it's hooked to the stick.
	And then they're talking and walking, knocking people over with the stick.
	Hey, what are you talking about?
	Boom!
	There goes somebody hits the deck.
	You have the Belfi stick now, too.
	What's a Belfi?
	It has another joint in it so you can take pictures of your butt.
	No.
	Yes, yes.
	Do you want to see if their butt's too big?
	No.
	If you're preoccupied with your butt being too big, it's too big.
	Here, belfy stick.
	Best smart watch was the Lenovo Vibe Band, a VB10. If anyone wants to get a stupid watch, which I don't see any reason for.
	The best fitness gadget is the Garmin Vivo Active.
	The best health gadget.
	This is it.
	It's this crap.
	Who needs these things?
	TempTrack.
	So you hypochondriacs out there can know your temperature 24-7.
	The best digital home gadget.
	This is a good one.
	This is PC Magazine who made this list?
	Yeah, yeah.
	Believe me, it's not any different than anybody else's list.
	Best digital home...
	This is a home gadget.
	They call this a gadget.
	Now, I would condemn the writer for calling this a gadget.
	Because it's not a gadget.
	It's an appliance.
	It's an LG twin washing machine.
	A washing machine is not a gadget.
	But okay.
	Yeah.
	Best kitchen gadget.
	Everything has to be a gadget, I guess.
	It's not a gadget.
	It's an appliance.
	A robot designed to pump out fresh homemade roti.
	The rotimatic holds up to 20 rotis.
	I don't even know what a roti is.
	Isn't that a Suriname dish of...
	What's a roti?
	Sorry, I don't know what a roti is.
	It looks like it's a little pancake.
	Oh, yeah, there's a roti.
	It's like a potato pancake.
	I was right.
	Yeah, okay.
	Hold on a second.
	I got it coming through, John.
	The belfy stick.
	Hold on.
	I have audio.
	From ABC, no less.
	From the year of the selfie.
	Finally tonight, the global phenomenon.
	ABC's David Wright tells us why 2014 is the year of the selfie.
	Selfies were already a thing by the time Ellen set out to break the internet.
	This star-studded image from Oscar night 2014 set a new standard.
	Popes and presidents, a beetle and a billionaire, the queen herself, even some award-winning news anchors.
	It's a sad state the world is, people.
	On Twitter this year, the word selfie mentioned 92 million times.
	Pathetic.
	The Oxford English Dictionary defines selfie as a photo one has taken of oneself.
	A masturbatory movement.
	Any background will do.
	Come on, show me the belfie.
	Is this going to take forever?
	The first selfie from...
	I don't want your fun facts.
	Lies!
	This year's selfie technology improved dramatically.
	We had selfies from space.
	Selfies from other species.
	Say cheese!
	And selfies that must have seemed like a good idea at the time.
	Come on with the stick already.
	Selfies.
	Oh, fuckers.
	They are.
	Oh, screw it.
	They gypped me.
	Yeah.
	You got gypped.
	They have a whole story about the Belfi stick, and then they have the video, which is not about the Belfi stick.
	Oh, it's on.com.
	Here you go.
	On.com.
	Is that the Belfi stick?
	They have the Belfi stick, yes.
	On.com.
	Is the name it calls my butt too big?
	Or does my butt look big in this?
	Just look at this.
	Look at this.
	Pathetic sadness of this.
	Look at this.
	On.com.
	Look at this.
	It's so pathetic.
	I'm looking.
	I'm looking.
	I'm trying to get there.
	This is like a big selfie.
	Ooh, me through photos.
	That's never been done before.
	Wow.
	Ooh, me through photos.
	This is really wrong.
	I don't get anything here except meet-through photos on Dr.
	Trademark.
	I don't see no Belfi.
	Okay, never mind.
	I'm already done with it.
	But there is a Belfi stick, and that is so you can do a photo, a selfie featuring your rear end.
	Why don't you just have a friend take a picture of your ass?
	Then it would be a Frelfie.
	It's a selfie.
	That's the whole idea.
	Yeah, you're so lonely...
	You can't even ask a stranger.
	Hey, can you take a picture of my ass?
	What?
	I have a short clip, the beginning of a long clip, which I'm not going to play.
	I'm just going to play the little clip of boiling sludge for Bill Gates.
	So we can talk about that a minute for a second.
	So the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation funded a new kind of treatment plant in Sedro Woolley, Washington, about 70 miles north of Seattle.
	Here's some of the video that is getting attention on YouTube showing how it works.
	Over two and a half billion people have no access to safe sanitation.
	We asked brilliant engineers to help us solve this problem, and one of those engineers actually has proposed a solution where the waste is valuable.
	The omniprocessor turns sewer sludge, which is kind of nasty, into clean drinking water, electricity, and ash that is pathogen free.
	This is where the sludge enters the machine.
	It goes up this conveyor belt.
	It's fed into these large tubes we call the dryer.
	That's where we boil the sludge.
	So they boil the sludge, and then out comes water, and there's Bill to drink it.
	Right.
	So it's, oh, Bill drinks crap somehow.
	Yeah.
	The Omniprocessor.
	He looks like crap himself.
	He looks terrible in this video.
	I want people to go look at him.
	I see the video.
	He's got to cut back on the poop drinking, as far as I'm concerned.
	It has to be poop drinking.
	That's what it is.
	He says, after having studied the engineering behind it, I would happily drink it every day.
	It's that safe.
	What is this with the chemicals and crap that are in the...
	It's the same guy who said we never needed, what, more than 640k RAM? Although, you know, he denies that he says that.
	I have a bit that I do in my speeches that involves that quote, which I won't do.
	People will steal it from you.
	So what is his point here?
	Is he going to be selling this huge...
	It looks like a huge contraption.
	It's a big contraption.
	Yeah, it's a big thing.
	And I'm sure it doesn't work in the field.
	I mean, yeah, you can, of course, you can boil down sludge into something drinkable as long as you got the tech.
	The technology is all there.
	Hmm.
	What is he trying to do to promote...
	I don't know what he's up to.
	I think it's just this random crap that he's up to.
	He just has nothing better to do, maybe?
	I don't know.
	Melissa's taking care of all the other business.
	Belinda.
	What's her name?
	Melissa Belinda...
	Belinda.
	Let's go with that.
	Melinda.
	Let's go with Belinda.
	Belinda.
	The Bill and Belinda Gates Foundation.
	The Mel and Belinda Gates Foundation.
	He's also reinventing the toilet.
	Maybe he's trying to combine those two.
	He must have something going on.
	This is a psychological thing.
	This is a cry for help.
	I agree.
	You've said this before, and I agree with it.
	This man is really crying out for help.
	Yeah.
	Because he just wants to sit in a room with a couple other geeks and look at code and stuff.
	He's got Belinda out there making him do all this stuff.
	Hey, Bill, go drink some poop.
	How do I have to, Belinda?
	Yes, it's important.
	Drink poop, or else...
	I'm telling you.
	Drink it from the doggy dish.
	All right, all right.
	I'm going to show my support by donating to No Agenda.
	Imagine all the people who could do that.
	Oh, yeah, that'd be fab.
	Yeah, on No Agenda.
	In the morning.
	We got a few donors.
	I'm tripping.
	I'm almost falling down.
	You're falling asleep, you said?
	No, I'm like almost falling.
	Yeah, almost, yeah.
	I can't hear you.
	I'm not feeling well.
	Oh yeah, we're almost done.
	Another half hour where you can go to bed.
	I've got to go pick up my daughter at the airport, or worse.
	No, brother, you're going to get into an accident.
	I hope not.
	Find some Texas Joy Juice or something before you take off.
	Ah, the Jesus Juice, yes.
	Sir Patrick J. Deary in Cernia, Ohio.
	12345, no note.
	I want to thank him.
	John Donovan, Sir John Donovan in San Jose, 103.05.
	Apparently it only counts as a drunk donation if you hit the donate button, otherwise it's just drunk.
	That's true.
	He's got something in the email we have to read to ourselves.
	Herb Lamb, same as a vineyard that's very famous in the Napa Valley from Sugar Hero, Georgia.
	Uh, $99.99.
	He says, sorry for not donating for a few shows.
	He's been out of town and now listening to the Christmas show.
	Hold on.
	$99.99!
	Everyone's behind.
	That's why we get, the number of opens is down.
	We also get people saying, there's a lot of wasted time, just in general.
	And they say, hey, you should look at this.
	Like, yeah, thanks.
	We talked about it.
	They haven't kept up.
	Yeah, they're behind.
	Heather Simpkin in Henley on Thames, Oxfordshire, 6789.
	Heather in England, a great name.
	Adrian Vernoy in Hasselt, Netherlands.
	Vernoy.
	Vernoy in Hasselt.
	Hasselt.
	Hey, by the way, that Euro is almost on parity now.
	We've been waiting for that.
	No, it's $1.19, $1.18, $1.70.
	It's getting closer.
	Well, okay, we're going to stop the show.
	We're stopping the show because this is important, I think, that people know.
	What the exchange rate is?
	Yeah, I think this is great.
	I thought it was lower than 19.
	I'll tell you exactly what it is up to the minute.
	I have a site that I go to that has all this information, including the price of oil.
	Okay, it is right now sitting at $1.1783.
	Wow.
	Nice.
	Hello, Greece.
	The pound is $1.50.
	Nice.
	We're getting there.
	Crude oil, $47.
	Looking good.
	This is good.
	It's good to be an American, isn't it, John?
	Yeah, fantastic.
	Screw those EU guys.
	Stephen McDonald in Cortland, Ohio.
	$65.66.
	That came in as one of those time payment checks from the bank.
	SirDHSlammer, $56.11.
	I think he sent a note.
	Hold on.
	No, it was a PayPal mobile.
	He might send a note.
	Yeah, I have a note.
	I think I have a note from him.
	He had something important, I think.
	He donates all the time, so let me see.
	What was the 50s?
	5611.
	Yeah.
	And I sent it to Eric.
	You must have it if you sent it to Eric.
	I'm sorry.
	Again, it's the flu.
	Yeah, he just not put in, he hadn't put in Sir D.H. Slammer.
	Well, Eric apparently picked that up, so he got the...
	Sorry.
	Yeah, sorry.
	Philip Meyer is 55, double nickels on the diamond, Palo Alto, California.
	Kevin Dills, Charlotte, North Carolina, double nickels on the diamond.
	The following people, the last of the group is all $50.
	I'm going to name them as they go.
	And Angela Castaneda.
	Oh, that's...
	Or Castaneda.
	From Vegas.
	Yeah.
	Henderson, Nevada.
	Yes.
	Robert Owens in Oakville, Virginia.
	Anastasia Treckles in Vile Paraiso, Indiana.
	Doesn't sound right, but okay.
	What did she say here?
	I've been on the subscription.
	Oh, wait a minute.
	She's overdue.
	Overdue for a nighting.
	She's being damed.
	Dear John Adam, I've been on the subscription plan for a long time, and I realize I'm overdue for a nighting.
	As a long-time listener, this is a pretty cool honor.
	Since I'm a college professor, hello, I thought it would be appropriate to be named as Stacy Dame of the Common Core, as I'm always trying to figure out how to avoid pushing that schlock on the future teachers I work with.
	Thanks for the work you do, and I will continue to propagate the formula.
	Dame Stacey, Valparaiso, Indiana.
	Cool, yeah.
	We'll be daming you momentarily.
	Yeah, that's nice.
	I'm glad that she's got a clue about the...
	Common core.
	Schlock.
	Schlock.
	Mathieu Helle in Gatineau, Quebec.
	Mathieu Helle.
	Mathieu Helle.
	50.
	Jan van der Laan in Assen.
	He's always there, man.
	He's always there.
	He's got to be a knight, isn't he?
	I'd think.
	Let's ask him.
	Steve Winslow in Bristol, UK. Christopher Walker in Parts Unknown.
	Sir Brian Watson in Raleigh, North Carolina.
	And Sir Alan Bean, our buddy over here.
	I can wave to him from my house, actually, in Oakland, California.
	Those are all $50.
	We are coming up short on these shows, and I want to remind people that...
	And a lot of you aren't listening to the show because they're back on the Christmas show, and they don't open the newsletter, and I'd like to get this year moving a little better, but just coughing and huffing and puffing for the first...
	And then now everyone's going to end up with the flu.
	We've got good news stuff happening, but nobody's...
	It is true.
	It's just an irony of the whole thing.
	These days, no, it's true.
	These days, everything goes to crap and then, you know, no one's around.
	And then, yeah, the flu thing is bad because the people, I've been trying to work with Andrea.
	He's an Italian developer working on some stuff that you and I are working on, except I'm doing all the work.
	You know that one.
	And first his kids were sick and then his kids made him sick and then now I'm sick.
	Before you know it, it's six weeks.
	A lot of people get sick.
	You can't get anything done with these flus.
	It's hard to get stuff done if everyone's sick.
	Yeah.
	Well, anyway, I think that we should obviously thank everyone for their courage and for supporting the program.
	There's always people who come in under the $50 level.
	Those are anonymous donations and a lot of people on our programs.
	We've got, of course...
	Our 33-33s, our 12-12s, 11-11s, I still see those coming in.
	A lot of $5, it's very appreciated.
	A lot of $4 still, and there's always that one guy with $2.
	He's got a $2 guy.
	Yeah, but is that for every show or is that for every month or every week?
	I don't know.
	We have one guy, I still have his check here.
	I have to cash it.
	Who sends in a check for a penny.
	Oh, right.
	Which is more effort than it's worth.
	I mean, I'll cash and put it in, but it's like, I don't know what he thinks.
	He's pulling one over on the bank.
	A penny.
	Made you do it, Dvorak.
	Thank you all very much.
	It's highly appreciated.
	But yes, we do have a show coming up on Sunday.
	And if I'm alive, then you never know.
	You sound good.
	This is the thing that you know I'm able to do.
	Yeah.
	But I do not think I've felt this bad ever doing this show.
	You know, you were pretty bad.
	One time, a couple years ago, you got something and you were really a wreck.
	Hmm.
	Well, I... It sounded a little more like it.
	I mean, this used to sound fine.
	I've grown since then, John.
	I've grown.
	I've grown.
	I can now do it even more.
	Dvorak.org.
	Slash N.A. And we say happy birthday to one person, and that, of course, comes from Jessica Flood to her husband, Justin Flood, turning 33 on January 9th with that lovely note and lovely donation.
	And, of course, we also say happy birthday to you, Justin, from all your friends here at the best podcast in the universe.
	I remembered I might as well do a little jobs karma for everybody.
	And, by the way, I would like to see some people step up for the upcoming Valentine's Day to top that note.
	Oh yes, absolutely.
	Women, you have been forewarned.
	A little jobs karma, as requested by everybody.
	Jobs, jobs, and jobs.
	Let's vote for jobs!
	You've got karma.
	Alrighty.
	Then we have...
	First we have Paul Simon, Baronet of Siswell of the Upper Horseshoe, now becoming Baron von Sismark of Well Upper Canada.
	Thank you very much for your contributions.
	And then we have...
	Yes, thank you, John.
	I'll get mine here.
	Francis Shee, come on up, along with Anastasia Treckles, both of you.
	Join our table of Knights and Dames today, and we've got an even keel heel, as we proudly pronounce to Kate, Francis Sheehy as Sir Sheehy, and Anastasia Treckles as Stacy, Dame of the Common Core.
	For you two, we've got Hookers and Blow, Rentboards and Chardonnay, Puppies and Taylors Vintage Port, Hookers and Molly, Ass Cream with Bear Fillings, Porn Stars and Pot, Opium and Warm Orange Juice, Hot Pants and Booze, Wenches and Beer, Bong Hits and Bourbon, Or, of course, there's that mutton in me.
	Thank you both.
	And go to noagendanation.com slash rings and pick up your deserved ring.
	And please tweet us a picture when you receive it.
	We like retweeting that stuff.
	People always are, what is that?
	What is that thing?
	What is that thing?
	Yeah, people go, oh, that's cool.
	Uh-oh.
	And now, back to real news.
	Headline, headline.
	Scorpion back with best scores in months.
	I'm just going to keep on you about this.
	12.1 million viewers for Scorpion, the show you say is a failure.
	It is.
	It's a dog.
	You'll see.
	It's just a matter of time.
	Once the novelty runs out.
	That's the word.
	I think you mentioned this, I don't know if it was in a previous newsletter, and we always look at this every year when the UNODC report comes out.
	That is the United Nations Office of Drugs and Crime.
	And again, poppy up.
	This is the Afghanistan Opium Survey 2014, which provides a detailed picture of the outcome of the current year's opium season.
	together with data from the previous years.
	And there's been an increase, never has been this high, the output.
	But here's what's interesting.
	Do you know why the poppy output has increased so dramatic?
	We increased production on demand.
	Ah, but it's actually the hectarage, because they give us hectares here.
	The hectarage.
	Hectarage.
	Yeah.
	Of the poppies, which means the fields have expanded.
	Yeah, of course.
	Well, I didn't think of it that way, but we have bases all around these poppy fields.
	Oh, of course.
	Somebody's got to protect these things.
	Right, but then are we just saying, oh yeah, you could expand a little bit?
	Are we just allowing that?
	What are you kidding me?
	You're just being facetious.
	This is what you always do to me.
	I do not.
	Ever.
	I am sincere to the core.
	I never pull that kind of trickery.
	So the total hectarage Hectarage.
	Do you have to say it that way?
	Hectarage?
	That's the way I want to say it.
	It was estimated to be 224,000 hectares.
	I think it's hectares.
	Hectarage.
	Hectares.
	What is a hectare in acres?
	It's about two acres, something like that.
	So there's 224,000 hectares in 2014.
	7% increase over 2013.
	Look it up.
	This is doing very well.
	The opium production in Afghanistan amounts for 80% of the global opium production, 5.5 tons.
	Wow.
	You just never see a lot of good documentaries about that.
	2.47 acres per hectare.
	Nice.
	So it's closer to 2.5.
	That's also our business.
	Yeah, I know.
	We're doing well.
	You don't want to get a glut on the market, though.
	The price of heroin is really cheap now.
	It's like one-third.
	No, I'm sorry.
	It's like one-fifth the price, one-tenth the price of meth.
	Really?
	Yeah.
	It's outrageous.
	I was reading some stats on this.
	What?
	It's too cheap.
	Nuts, nuts, nuts.
	There's no money in there.
	You've got to jack the price up.
	Let me see.
	I have a few more things.
	Oh, yeah.
	Interesting.
	A little update on Ebola.
	This is Senator Coons with what I believe is an accurate report, but this is not represented this way in your traditional media.
	They and the doctors and nurses of the CDC and the Uniformed Public Health Service have really turned the corner on the Ebola epidemic in Liberia.
	But I'm calling for a change in strategy by the Pentagon.
	We can't declare mission accomplished and withdraw too early here.
	We can bring home a thousand or more of these troops now.
	They're currently bored because they've accomplished a lot of their mission of building infrastructure, building new Ebola treatment units all over the country, deploying new military testing labs all over the country, and setting up a vital infrastructure.
	The raging epidemic that threatened the whole country in September is now down to a few embers scattered across this country.
	But we need a new strategy to adapt to conditions on the ground.
	Our troops should remain, some of them, for the rest of the year to help make sure that Liberians can transition our emergency Ebola treatment units into community-level health clinics and transition our high-tech military mobile testing labs into Liberian-run local labs so that going forward, this epidemic really is brought to an end in Liberia.
	Is Africa so pathetic that they can't even build a building without American soldiers?
	Well, you know the answer.
	Is that what you're saying?
	That's what the subtext is.
	Well, you know the answer to that.
	Africa is so pathetic.
	They're idiots.
	They can't even build a stupid building.
	Oh, that's why we have to be there for a long time.
	And we've got a lot of people there.
	We've got to keep it up.
	But this is completely the opposite of the messaging if we're receiving it.
	Of course, not right now because, you know, Paris.
	Is, oh no, I heard on NPR yesterday, now we're now up to 9,000 people dead.
	They're just making the numbers up.
	Whatever happened to, by now, by the way, by January 1st, we're supposed to have 10,000 cases a week.
	Yeah.
	But why isn't anyone jumping up and down claiming victory?
	This guy is.
	Kuhn says, hey, there's only a few embers left.
	Yeah.
	I think this is good news.
	Is he lying to me?
	I doubt it.
	Just wanted to play that for you.
	This is an interesting little tidbit clip.
	Play drones everywhere.
	...is rapidly becoming, are they safe, and how should they be regulated?
	Science correspondent Miles O'Brien has our report.
	The sky may be big and blue, but it is getting more crowded every day as makers of small unmanned aerial vehicles or drones test their limits.
	The thing's very fast.
	It can fly about 70 miles an hour.
	The man at the controls is Michael Shaboon.
	He works for a company that is growing faster than he can flick a joystick.
	China-based DJI Innovations, the market leader in the personal drone industry.
	We've gone from 50 employees to 3,000 employees.
	Well, so they have this, it was a long piece, so I only cut out to give you the beginning.
	So these drones, I'm getting a drone.
	I'm going to buy one of these things.
	Chris Anderson, who used to be the editor of Wire, started this company up, and he's in this piece, and he's got a place, a company in Berkeley, that he's got these drones that have cameras on them, and then you pre-program the drone, and you send it on its way, and you don't drive it.
	Yeah, it goes off, takes the pictures, comes back.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	I think this is a good idea.
	I'm going to get one of these.
	I want to learn how to fly a good drone.
	So I was at the toy shop just before Christmas, and they had a bunch of drones, piles of them at this shop.
	It's one of the high-end toy stores.
	And I asked the guy, and he pointed out some cheap $99 drone that was a learner's drone.
	It's about the size of a...
	Of a teacup.
	Very small.
	All right, a little one.
	It's got four little props on it.
	Four blades, yeah.
	And he says, yeah, and watch, he takes the thing and he crushes it, and then he pops back and he crushes it.
	So you can't wreck...
	It's indestructible.
	Yeah.
	So that's the one you learn with, and you go bigger and bigger until you get the bigger drones once you learn how to fly these things correctly, because you're going to smash it up.
	And I think this is...
	And you have been saying we should have a drone company.
	What happened to that idea?
	We dropped the ball on it.
	We dropped the drone.
	Yeah, we did.
	The good news is the way the FAA is leaning is they will require commercial drone companies to have licensed pilots flying the drones.
	That's good news for me.
	Yeah.
	Because I'm a licensed pilot.
	But according to this report, the amateur drone guys, there's no license requirement.
	You can go off and do your own thing.
	No.
	There will be severe restrictions.
	Well, they're not yet.
	They had the FAA guy on.
	I'm going to go have a meeting with Chris.
	I'm against it.
	I'm against this.
	I'm against drones in any form or fashion.
	Yes, you're shoveling crap against the tide.
	Oh, I know.
	I know that.
	I know that.
	It's okay, but I have a shotgun.
	I think there's some other ancillary...
	Yeah, screw the shotgun.
	It's ancillary products that are just begging to be built.
	Let me give you the first idea I came up with.
	These could be billion dollar ideas, people.
	One is the drone protection system.
	Because these little bitty ones that got cameras, and they were showing how small they can get, and the little guy can come right up to your window, I have windows here, and could be just sitting there taking movies of me, or whatever, in a bedroom, in a bathroom, you know, just horrible kind of peeping Tom stuff.
	So what you want is you want a little system that is over the edge of the roof, And it's a netting system.
	And you push a button.
	And it drops the net on the drone.
	Yeah, it drops the net on the drone and brings it down to the ground.
	And now that drone, I believe you can make a case that this drone now belongs to you.
	Oh yeah, you totally own it.
	Yeah, so I own the drone.
	So you get the net that catches the drone, and then you look up some software or something that allows you to reconfigure the drone so it's now your drone.
	Own the drone!
	So I think there's potential here for this sort of thing.
	Okay, I like that.
	The shotgun's no good.
	You blow up the drone, so what did you accomplish?
	You made a noise, you got the neighbors pissed off, could it hurt somebody?
	Well, you could also have those guns that fire a net.
	Ah, yeah.
	That would be fine.
	That would be kind of cool.
	Yeah, a net gun.
	But I like the slogan for the packaging, own the drone.
	Own the drone.
	This is the Curry-Dvorak drone protection system, and we have big D-P-S. And then, own the drone.
	Yeah.
	I like it.
	That's pretty good.
	It's a cheaper way to get the drone if you can make the protection system, you know, inexpensive.
	And then we should have these honeypot type things where, you know, it looks like there's a naked chick in the backyard.
	It's just a painting.
	Right.
	It's just a cutout.
	Yeah.
	And then the drone comes closer and...
	Own the drone.
	Like Rock'em Sock'em Robots.
	I was like, you knocked my block off!
	You own my drone!
	I'm already envisioning the television commercials, John.
	Pretty good.
	Yeah, I think I can see them too.
	Okay, sticking on aviation is the last one I have energy for.
	I'm toast.
	Still following the AirAsia.
	By the way, the owner of AirAsia, this Tony guy, What's his name?
	Tony?
	I think his name is Tony.
	Tony.
	So there was this...
	He did a whole bunch of interesting stock transactions the day before the crash happened.
	Like what?
	Yeah, I know.
	I'm just seeing if I have it.
	I know I have it here.
	There's another company, which is an insurance company, which is an insurance company for the airline.
	And I guess he owned a lot of it, and he sold all of it.
	I think he owned half the company.
	He sold all of that either 24 or 36 hours before this crash.
	That could just be pure coincidence, obviously.
	I don't think so.
	Well, it could be.
	I don't know.
	That's a pretty long shot coincidence.
	Yeah?
	Well, let me see.
	I have it here.
	What's the guy's name again?
	Tony.
	Yeah, Tony Fernandez.
	Is that his name?
	I don't know.
	I have no idea what his name is.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	I think it is.
	This is an interesting guy, actually.
	Yeah, he started on a shoestring budget.
	Yeah, he actually...
	Check this out.
	He...
	He's actually Tan Sri Anthony Francis.
	I think he has a...
	Yeah, Order of the British Empire.
	Commander of the Order of the British Empire for services to promote commercial educational links between Malaysia and the United Kingdom.
	Member of the Institute of Chartered Accountants, wherever that.
	He...
	I see...
	So the way he acquired this airline was also in here.
	December 26, the Malaysian insider reported that Fernandes, the founder of Thun Group, which owns AirAsia, sold a total of 944,800 shares in Thun Insurance Holdings, with 850,000 shares being dumped on December 22, and the other 94,800 being sold the day after.
	According to its official website, Toon Insurance Holdings is an insurance product manager for AirAsia, in which insurance products are sold to AirAsia, along with customers as part of their online booking process.
	So it's not just for the airline, but also for your flight insurance that you can get when you buy an airline ticket.
	So it is interesting that he did that to such a degree right before this crash.
	Yes, that would be called suspicious transactions.
	And I have not heard this anywhere else.
	Well, you heard it on the No Agenda show.
	Then I have this little clip, because of course people are still trying to figure it out, and I love the idiocy.
	23-year-old Pendra Gunawan Siwal took what may have been the last photograph of Flight 8501 before it took off.
	So obsessed with this.
	Less than an hour later, the plane disappeared.
	Even as the search continues, Indonesian authorities have concluded that weather caused the crash.
	Weather caused the crash?
	Okay.
	A satellite image showed cloud temperatures as cold as 121 degrees below zero.
	Three days after the crash, the Indonesian aviation authorities imposed mandatory up-to-date weather briefings for pilots.
	But in an open letter, one pilot dismissed the directive.
	Pilots of airlines around the world do self-briefings, he wrote.
	They get printed weather information from systems used by their airlines.
	Today was the best weather the searchers have had since the plane went down.
	I should display this stuff just to give people a little bit of accuracy in reporting, because this report is complete crap from beginning to end.
	Yes, all pilots get their own weather report.
	Then the data is standardized, and this is very normal.
	You go into the flight briefing room.
	It's not like you're getting this from the—although it does happen, but it's not like you're just getting it from your company.
	In fact, most pilots I know, most airmen, would say, I don't even trust what my company gives me.
	I want to see it coming through from the Met itself.
	I want to make sure I have the data that they want to be responsible themselves.
	That's one.
	What happens when robots start flying the plane?
	Yeah, it's fucked.
	Stupidest thing ever.
	Because of stuff like this, because of changing weather, you can't just program that into an algorithm.
	And this weather report does not talk about the cloud temperature.
	And I'd have to see what they're talking about with this cloud temperature that was reported somewhere minus 122 degrees.
	So they're inferring here or insinuating that somehow they got into a cloud that was very chilly.
	This is bullshit.
	Yeah, I hate it when they do this.
	Yeah, we noticed.
	Yeah, and so anyway.
	I got a David Foley letter I got to read.
	It's from our Grand Duke, David Foley.
	Well, you know, when...
	It was probably in Vegas.
	Well, hold on a second.
	If you're going to do a Foley letter...
	Yeah, play the thing.
	Citizens and slaves of Kiddo Nation, please rise in recognition of Sir David Foley, Grand Duke of the United States of Waiting in the security line at SFO heading to CES. The lady, barking out slave instructions, spoke the truth and no one picked up on it.
	After telling everyone to put on our shoes and belts should be done away from the conveyor belts so as not to slow down the line, she then made this statement.
	If you do everything I say...
	Then there will be no delay, and we may have to work.
	And we may have to work.
	No delay, and we may have to...
	I knew what it was, and I forgot to write it in.
	Anyway, he says, our goal is not to do any work, is what the woman said.
	Ah, okay.
	So move along.
	We don't want to do a bunch of work here.
	He couldn't help but say, he says, what isn't your goal to provide screening for safe travel?
	Let me guess what happened.
	He earned himself an extra pat down in bag search.
	We call that a massage.
	Yeah, I bet he did.
	Oh, man.
	Foley, Foley, you gotta chill on that stuff.
	The hot story, of course, mostly in Europe, not so much in the United States, but they're playing this up in OK Magazine, one of your favorites, is Taylor Swift secretly dating Karlie Kloss.
	And then a long story about their fantastic relationship.
	That was really unnecessary.
	Really didn't have to do that.
	I just threw it in.
	It wasn't very nice.
	You're on Team Taylor.
	You gotta take it.
	I'm no longer on Team Taylor.
	I switched.
	You're saying that.
	Is this the reason?
	Because when you got your last copy of OK Magazine?
	No.
	No, it's because you said she has a flat butt.
	And I looked and you were right.
	And so that kind of ruined the whole thing.
	Oh, I'm sorry I did that now.
	No, you're not.
	Okay.
	Bless you.
	Well, it sounds like we're both kind of sick.
	I sneeze a lot.
	Yeah.
	All right.
	All right.
	I think it was a good show.
	We got it covered.
	If you kept people up to date.
	Yes.
	Without a doubt.
	It'll be some screwy that happens before Sunday.
	Oh, hello.
	I'm looking forward to it.
	I can't swallow it.
	No, that's the...
	All right.
	Hey, everybody.
	I will be better on Sunday.
	I guarantee you that.
	Coming to you from FEMA Region 6 in the capital of the drone star states.
	Good morning, everybody.
	I'm Adam Curry.
	And from northern Silicon Valley, where we do the show no matter how we feel, no matter where we are, I'm John C. DeVore.
	Hell yeah!
	We'll be back again with you right here on Sunday on A No Agenda.
	I'm Joe Biden, and thank you for taking the time to listen.
	This is the Ministry of Fear, a network of terror that lays bare the secrets locked in every man's mind, using strange hypnotic torture, relentless, cunning, tangling their quarry in a web of horror until he reaches the brink of madness.
	Who speaks...
	Who said that?
	Who told you that?
	And you can always follow me on Twitter.
	The best podcast in the universe!
	Adios, mofo.

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