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May 23, 2013 - No Agenda
02:35:56
515: Wantonly Podcasting
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That should be their slogan.
Microsoft.
It's finger-friendly.
Adam Curry.
John C. Dvorak.
It's Thursday, May 23rd, 2013.
Time for your Gitmo Nation Media Assassination Episode 515.
This is no agenda.
Massaging my aching amygdala here in the Travis Heights hideout where SoCo meets Movo in Austin Tejas in the morning, everybody.
I'm Adam Curry.
And from northern Silicon Valley, where there are no fascists, I'm John C. Dvorak.
It's Craig Vaughn and Buzzkill.
Really now.
What are you talking about?
They hand out armbands in every street corner.
Those are communists.
No, those are fascists.
Fascists do that too.
I don't see any armbands around.
Alright.
Why did you bring it up?
I don't know.
It just came to mind.
I don't write these things out in advance like...
Clearly.
Clearly.
Clearly you don't.
I'm just like, what?
Got the prompter running.
Got the prompter running.
What is John talking about?
Oh, man.
Well, well, well, well, well.
Once again, it's been very, very busy.
Yeah, you know, I ended up wasting my time.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
I hate it when that happens.
Well, I know I did.
I wasted my time.
I watched probably the entire IRS. Oh, yeah.
Now, believe me, I wasted my time on that, too.
I do have it in a nutshell, by the way.
Oh, you've got like a little Cliff Notes executive summary?
I think tax earnings in a nutshell.
I think this would kind of...
Essentially, this is pretty much it.
Is that my cue?
Yeah, well, it was.
Let me try it again.
This clip I have is pretty much it.
Are you sure you're being square with us today, Mr.
Shulman?
I'm absolutely telling you the truth today.
Absolutely.
Well, that's interesting because Mr.
Lynch just cited your testimony from a year ago, and you used similar language.
When in front of the Ways and Means Committee, can you give us assurances that the IRS is not targeting particular groups?
Thanks for bringing this up, because I think there's been a lot of press about this.
There was.
We found out.
And a lot of moving information, so I appreciate the opportunity to clarify.
First, let me start by saying yes, I can give you assurances.
I don't think you can say it any stronger.
We pride ourselves on being a nonpolitical, nonpartisan organization.
And that's why people are wondering if you're being square with us today, because you said you could assure everyone, the American people in the Congress then, that nothing was going on.
And the gentleman sitting beside you just issued a report last week that says what you told the Congress, what you told the American people a year ago, is absolutely wrong.
And you're sure you're being square with us.
Excuse me.
Don't look over here.
Nothing to see here.
Yeah.
Yeah, and then there was that.
Yeah.
Excuse me.
There's a lot of grief.
I can't remember.
There was so much.
They were yelling at him.
He was almost in tears a couple of times.
Yeah.
Then he'd bring himself back up and then he'd start his sentence with so.
Oh, yeah.
So.
Yeah, that's a favorite.
That's a real favorite.
So.
Although, I did see a couple things slowly start to take place.
Of course, my...
We had one of those dinners last night, by the way.
Oh!
I can't call them a...
This is the discreet term of the bourgeoisie.
You should go watch that movie.
Whatever it is, I agree.
Bourgeoisie.
This time we had dinner at the professor and Marianne's house.
Jennifer.
Yeah, this is a different place to around and around.
Around and around and around we go, right.
And Jennifer's an architect.
So I will have important information from the professor who runs the Brain Studies Institute neuroscience thing here at the University of Texas.
Very important information.
But anyway, so I threw out my theory last night that this thing made no sense, that the way it was leaked right into the conference call by the Lerner woman herself,
and that this clearly was a setup for the Republican Party, To be taken down for the midterm elections once everyone finds out that it was, of course, the Republican Party who was spying on these Tea Party groups, which are basically mom and pops, who really cared.
And probably libertarians, too.
The original Tea Party.
And it went over pretty well, John.
So I can't really call them Obama bots anymore.
Although that is kind of a pro-Obama thing.
No?
Just because they agreed to that theory, which is still sketchy because the time frame has been changed.
Well...
Be that as it may, just because they agree to that doesn't mean they're not Obama bots.
To them, with great glee, all you did was confirm the superiority of the Democrat Party.
And their smartness.
And their smartness and the boneheadedness of the Republicans.
So by saying that Republicans are boneheaded, how can you...
And they cheer.
They probably stood up and clapped.
No!
You now say they're not Obamabots?
I don't get this.
Listen to what MSNBC, the Obamabot channel, had to say, and I think they're starting to catch on.
Whether or not there's anything that was wrongdoing or laws broken, it just doesn't look good.
At the same time, though, this is a massive overreach.
I mean, there's something about this that I find stunning, that we're talking about this now.
Everybody knew about this investigation long before the election, so if they were that freaked out about it...
Why did Romney make more of a big deal of it during the election?
Yeah, well, good point.
Romney never made a big deal about anything.
He made a big point about Benghazi because, of course, he knew the true score there.
Yeah, well, he didn't get anywhere.
No, thank goodness.
There was one thing that was interesting that had really nothing to do with the badgering of the Shulman guy.
And I do have Lerner's giving up and quitting, which I thought was kind of funny.
I do have that clip if you don't have it.
Yeah, I think that was kind of cool.
Well, play it then.
Lerner takes the fifth.
On May 14th, the Treasury Inspector General released a report finding that the exempt organization's field office in Cincinnati, Ohio, used inappropriate criteria to identify for further review applications from organizations that plan to engage in political activity, which may mean that they did not qualify for tax exemption.
On that same day, the Department of Justice launched an investigation into the matters described in the Inspector General's report.
In addition, members of this committee have accused me of providing false information when I responded to questions about the IRS processing of applications for tax exemption.
I have not done anything wrong.
I did not have sexual relations with that woman.
I have not violated any IRS rules or regulations, and I have not provided false information to this or any other congressional committee.
By the way, you should get your kids to listen to this podcast, and you say, kids, here's what it sounds like when grown-ups really mess up, and they lie about it, so don't become this lady.
And while I would very much like to answer the committee's questions today...
I've been advised by my counsel to assert my constitutional right not to testify or answer questions related to the subject matter of this hearing.
After very careful consideration, I've decided to follow my counsel's advice and not testify or answer any of the questions today.
Because I'm asserting my right not to testify, I know that some people will assume that I've done something wrong.
I have not.
You know...
This is true.
She's right.
Yeah, but I have to say that being fair in everything...
If someone pleads the fifth, and we are so slowly getting rid of all parts of our Constitution, you have to give someone the benefit of the doubt, and you can't do what you just did.
I did it!
I don't like it.
I think that's not okay.
It's not appropriate.
No, but that's a fact.
It's a fact.
What?
If you go plead the fifth, because we've seen so many movies and we've watched so much gangster films, if you plead the fifth, that means you're guilty.
That is the message that we've been given by the media.
I know, but I'm against it.
I fight against that.
You can fight all you want, I'm telling you.
I might have to use this one day.
It's a possibility, and everyone will think you're guilty.
One of the basic functions of the Fifth Amendment is to protect innocent individuals, and that is the protection I'm invoking today.
Thank you.
Thank you for your testimony.
Get the fuck out.
Anyway, those are kind of the battle.
Anyway, by the way, there's a couple interesting things about this.
One is they've got a cliffhanger at the end of a lot of the testimony.
They finally got to the point, deep at the end, pretty much before they're going to start bringing other people up.
They finally concluded that somebody in Washington, D.C. directed some of this.
Yeah.
That was at the end, and then they never figured out anything because of this IGS guy.
Oh, do you know what I found out about him?
What?
Yeah, what did you find?
To me, this guy is a black guy.
He was the inspector general.
I think he was the elephant in the room.
Nobody had the guts.
And I do think it would take a lot of guts to do this.
Are you ready for it?
Are you ready for it?
He dated Michelle Obama.
Oh, jeez.
Yep.
That'd be clip of the day if there was a clip.
It is.
It's a clip right here.
I'm doing it for you.
Yep.
He apparently...
Well, that to me, this guy was the elephant in the room because he played a coy and he was like, you know, I'm only doing...
It's only an audit.
It's not an investigation.
Oh, I couldn't do this.
I couldn't do that.
And you say, well, you know, were you...
Where you protect it.
You're black.
97% of American blacks all voted for Obama.
They're all proud of Obama.
And this guy's black.
It just seems to me to be a conflict of interest, to be honest about it.
No one even would come close to suggesting it.
Now that you say dated Michelle Obama...
Mm-hmm.
Where'd you get that?
Oh, there's a couple of sources.
Yeah.
I'd have to look it up for you.
Google it.
Go ahead and Google it.
I would have loved to see somebody approach any of this guy.
I've never been so offended.
He was pretty funny.
He had a big ass mouth.
He sure did.
That's when I was like...
You're right.
The elephant in the room.
Hold on.
My mic is really hot here.
Hold on.
I'm listening to this guy talk and I'm like...
This guy has his attitude.
Who died and made him King IG? You know what I mean?
That's when I started to research it and I come up with all these links.
Not like I have a photo, like photographic prom picture evidence.
No.
And we don't know if they did it, but apparently...
We don't know that they even...
Well, yeah.
No, we don't know anything about that other than apparently they dated once or twice back in the Chicago days.
So the guy's out of Chicago, too?
Oh, yeah!
Dude!
The whole Chicago mafia is running the show.
And, of course, for those of you who received the newsletter, there's a lot of news coming out of Chicago, which, gee, the minority media has not been able to tell us because they're too obsessed with...
The fact that people who live in tornado lands have no shelters in the ground to go sit in when the tornado comes over, which is another flaw.
Yeah, that seems to be the big distraction.
Let's finish this tax thing before we go off to the other direction.
There's one little tidbit that came up that I didn't know and that nobody followed up on and nobody considered, and it's also a defense mechanism being used by Shulman Who was trying to explain why, by some odd definition, these Tea Party people weren't singled out.
They kind of singled themselves out because they followed a certain procedure which they didn't have to follow.
And nobody said anything about this, but I was stunned to hear this particular little ditty in the clip that says questions about volunteering.
Hmm...
Starts with IRS. Yeah, so that's not...
Okay, never mind.
You'll never understand how I do this.
That's what I'm actually trying to say.
Okay.
So I said there was no targeting in the sense that a 501c4 had two options to operate.
They could apply or they could start operating.
There's no need to go through this application process.
You can be a 501c4, do your business, and file a tax return at the end of the year.
I said...
There was no targeting in the sense that, and from conversations that I had had, that these people had voluntarily come in.
And so the question that had been posed to me was, why are they getting all this question?
So.
Just begin with the word so.
Yeah, I heard it.
So the point you're making is that if you want to be a 501C4, you don't have to have any approval.
You can just go ahead and do it, and then you just file that at the end of the year.
That's the point you're making?
Yeah.
You didn't know that?
Well, I'm wondering who cares about any of this if this is true.
Why did the Tea Party people all go through this volunteer process to get some sort of a blessing from the government, which seems like the last thing you'd want to do, if you don't have to?
So again, I don't think you're understanding that this is a setup.
This whole thing is not only a potential setup.
The whole conversation is a distraction from the real issues at hand.
And as you rightly said, it is also a reminder to the citizenry of the United States of Gitmo Nation that the IRS can mess with you.
It is a reminder of how powerful this agency is.
As a department of the treasury.
And that they are pretty much untouchable.
Yeah, making that quite clear.
Yeah, so you're right.
She doesn't even want to be talked to.
So you're right.
We wasted our time watching this, thinking something great would come out.
And by the way, ISA is boring me.
I'm extremely bored with this guy.
You know, it's really funny because this particular group has the best people on it.
They got Issa.
They got that mush-mouthed Cummings guy.
And he didn't even have anything good.
And then they have Micah, who didn't have anything good to say.
And then they got that Georgia guy who talks with a nice accent.
You mean Mr.
Jordan?
No, no, no, the other one.
Oh, with the white hair?
It looks like his face has been wrapped and stretched with a Photoshop tool.
Yeah, no.
The gray, you mean.
Yeah, the guy with the white hair.
That guy.
Who said, that's not okay, that's not how it works.
Right, right.
You can't leave here.
You can't.
He got shut down by both ISA and Cummins.
They're like, dude, shut up.
I know.
It was really...
I almost took a picture of what I had.
I had Spokes Hall Carney from the previous day on one screen.
I had the IRS on the other screen.
And I had C-SPAN 2 with Cook.
I get the picture of those three guys taking the oath.
Cracked me up.
So, at a certain point, I'm watching Cook being grilled by, who was it, Levin.
And it's like, it's Wesley Mooch.
From Atlas Shrugged yelling at Hank Reardon.
I mean, it was so freaking surreal, John.
I'm like, this is exactly like the book.
By Ayn Rand.
And this is a coordinated effort, by the way.
I figured it out.
It's so obvious.
Do you remember when Haiku Herman, the president of the United States of Euroland, said just a couple weeks ago, we are going to put tax fraud onto the radar.
Remember that?
Yeah.
So here he is opening up the new session.
It's the right moment for a strategic debate.
We're also returning to the question of tax evasion and tax fraud.
...which we already took up in March.
Here it's high time to step up the fight.
We've seen headline after headline highlight loopholes in tax systems and we know it's a problem.
None of you can solve on his or her own and that Europe-wide hundreds of billions of euros are at stake.
So we need to channel the momentum and keep up the pressure.
Just to be perfectly clear We are not talking about harmonizing taxes or Europe taxing more or taxing less.
No, we are talking about jointly fighting unacceptable practices that allow some people to avoid paying taxes altogether.
It's simply a matter of fairness.
Oh, fairness!
And this is the big word now, fairness.
Pay your fair share.
So this is what the grilling of Cook was about.
And, of course, Apple has said their...
Everyone has.
The HP, everyone's got all their stuff set up in Ireland and in the Netherlands.
Shoot, U2 has it set up that way.
I mean, please, get Bono in there and grill his ugly ass.
This is one of the few times that I'm...
I'm not a real lover of big corporations, but I was like, this is bad.
Bullcrap what's going on.
This is grandstanding, and it was actually a page out of Atlas Shrugged.
Luckily, we have our own John Galt in the form of Nigel Farage, who got up and said the following.
Well, there's a great degree of unity here this morning, a common enemy, rich people, successful companies, evading tax, which of course is a problem.
Avoiding tax, which is not illegal, but it gives this whole chamber this morning a high moral tone, and as Mr Barroso says, it's all about the perception of fairness.
Because there is the added bonus, of course, that it drives a wedge between the United Kingdom and the Channel Islands, the Isle of Man and the Caymans.
But before we declare our virtues, perhaps we ought to look just a little bit closer to home.
And I hope that the taxpayers all over Europe listen to this.
If we look at the officials that work for the European Commission...
I work for the European Parliament.
The highest category are people that earn a net take-home pay of just over £100,000 a year.
And yet, under EU rules, they pay tax of 12%.
It's tax fraud on an absolutely massive scale.
And Mr Barroso, I would say to you that how can that be deemed to be fair?
How can people out there struggling, the 16 million unemployed in the eurozone, how can they look at these institutions?
Not only paying people vast sums of money, but allowing them tax and also, of course, pension benefits on a scale not seen anywhere else in the world.
So, ICDS, we have a bit less of this high moral tone.
And what have these officials given us?
Well, they were the architects of the Euro, which is a complete disaster.
Their obsession with global warming, which chimes very strongly here, means we're despoiling our landsapes and seascapes with these disgusting wind turbines and driving up energy prices.
But never let it be said that I can't acknowledge success when I see it.
And I'm sure the citizens of Europe will all clap and cheer loudly that the grave, mortal danger of olive oil in dipping bowls has been removed by the officials.
Well done, everybody.
I want to do a show with that guy so bad.
By the way, they overturned the olive oil ban.
That wasn't reported.
They've shelved that because it was too controversial.
It was too stupid.
You can't have a butter in a bowl either.
You have to have a pat.
A pat.
Whoever came up with the measure of a pat?
I don't know.
So I won so big last night when I said, you know, so Russell is, he's like, he's a sought-after scientist.
You know, it's like he's got other schools, like.
And you're hanging out with him.
Hell yeah.
With Stanford, you know, Stanford, UCLA. They all want to have him.
They all want to buy him.
And he's the guy who won't sit down with a Republican for dinner, right?
No, no, no.
That's not Russell.
Oh, who is he?
What, who won't sit down with a Republican?
Yeah.
That's a different guy.
I don't want to embarrass him.
Why would you be embarrassing him?
You'd be extolling his virtues.
So we got a lot of science talk.
You know how much I love this, the science talk.
First of all, he really ripped me.
You know, because, you know, Lori, Lori Frick, apparently she grew up LDS. And I said, well, you know, a lot of Mormons listen to our show.
They really like it.
And he, without a beat, he says, of course, people who believe in the biggest bullcrap story in the universe of some dude from 100 years ago, they'd believe anything, wouldn't they?
I'm like, holy crap.
I was quiet for 20 minutes.
Yeah.
I was like, wow, that really hurt, man.
But I got him back when I saw you.
So you didn't just stop right there and say, wow, I have heard some bigotry in my life, but you take the cake.
No, no.
Come on, it's his house.
I'm not going to insult the guy in his house.
He can say whatever he wants.
I'm not like that.
Oh.
Oh, I am.
I know.
That's why you don't get invited anywhere.
I don't.
I have a few friends.
I'm trying to hold on to them, John.
I'm having a good time.
But he did not know that the Richter scale had been replaced by some bullcrap media number.
Oh, really?
And he was like, no, I can't believe that.
Wow!
You got it.
You nailed it.
Oh, yeah.
And after that, then I had his attention.
I said, you know, the USGS has changed his number.
And they're just using a whole different scale.
He said, what?
Yeah, just made up.
Well, and then he looked, and I got the USGS website.
You know, this has now been 11 years ago they changed this, in 2002, because we looked it up.
Right.
Much of the chagrin of everyone else, everyone else is talking fun stuff, and we're like arguing over in the corner.
Over at Richter.
Over at Richter.
Why do you think they got rid of Richter?
The guy's funny.
He says, because Richter was a douche.
I was like, okay.
But anyway, so the real important question that I had for him relates to the war on crazy.
And he is in authority on the brain and behavior and, interestingly enough, ADHD and Tourette's Syndrome.
Because I looked him up.
I'm like, I've got to find him.
Did he notice that you had Tourette's?
He had no idea.
Ah.
Boing, number two.
Isn't that interesting?
Isn't that interesting?
Exactly.
But the big thing was this article in the New York Times.
So this guy, he is certified science authority when it comes to brain.
And how the brain works.
For as little as we know.
And this is the New York Times editorial in the Eureka section written by, and I thought this was very funny, that anyone would actually want to have this as their credit, Maggie Korth Baker, who is also science editor at Boing Boing.
Which is like, if you're writing something in the New York Times, I don't think you want...
To be known as the science editor at Boing Boing.
I didn't even know there was a science editor.
Well, she's not a scientist.
She's not a scientist.
Did you read this article, Why Rational People Buy Into Conspiracy Theories?
You know, I may have.
It is the most disgusting piece of, the way I thought it, of propaganda.
And I need to read a few pieces from it.
Oh yeah, I'm yours.
Okay.
Go.
In the days following the bombings of the Boston Marathon, speculation online regarding the identity and motive of the unknown perpetrator or perpetrators was rampant.
And once the Tsarnaev brothers were identified and the manhunt came to a close, the speculation didn't cease.
It took a new form, a sampling.
Maybe the brothers Tsarnaev were just patsies, fall guys, set up to take the heat for a mysterious Saudi with high-level connections.
Or maybe they were innocent, but instead of the Saudis, the actual bomber had acted on behalf of a rogue branch of our own government.
Or what if the Tsarnaevs were behind the attacks but secretly working for a larger organization?
Crazy as these theories are, those propagating them are not.
They're quite normal.
In fact...
But recent scientific research tells us this much.
So science, science people.
Hold on a second.
Because I'll forget if you keep going.
So, one of her theses is that they may have been part of a larger organization, and that's some sort of a weird conspiracy thesis based on what she says.
Isn't that exactly what the government was thinking when they started investigating everybody they could?
I remind everyone the word conspiracy comes from the root word to conspire, which I believe comes from Latin, which means to breathe together.
So yes, of course it's a conspiracy theory from the government, from the people who have some secret videotape we can't see of them putting the bombs into the trash cans.
I digress.
And here's the line from her authority.
The best predictor of belief in a conspiracy theory is belief in other conspiracy theories, says Viren Swamy.
Viren Swamy here to report in.
No, he's from England.
Oh.
Viren Swamy here.
I mean, anyone who's named Swamy and is a psychology professor who studies conspiracy belief at the University of Westminster in England, Psychologists say that's because a conspiracy theory isn't so much a response to a single event as it is an expression of an overarching worldview.
Now, I'm not going to read the entire article, but very important piece here.
Let me just look it up here.
I have to look up the word.
Here we go.
Economic recessions, terrorist attacks, and natural disasters are massive, looming threats.
But we have little power over when they occur or how or what happens afterward.
In these moments of powerlessness and uncertainty, a part of the brain called the amygdala kicks into action.
Paul Whelan, a scientist at Dartmouth College who studies the amygdala, says it doesn't exactly do anything on its own.
Instead, the amygdala jumpstarts the rest of the brain into analytical overdrive, prompting repeated reassessments of information in an attempt to create a coherent and understandable narrative, To understand what just happened, what threats still exist, and what should be done now.
This may be a useful way to understand how, writ large, the brain's capacity for generating new narratives after shocking events can contribute to so much paranoia in this country.
So she is saying that scientists are saying that it is a brain dysfunction That you have a hyperactive amygdala that makes you into a paranoid conspiracy theorist.
And I am allowed to tell you today that the professor of all things brain at U2, U2, at UT, said I could quote him on this, that this is a load of horse shit.
I like it, damn it.
He says the studies are absolutely inconclusive.
It's horse crap.
And he doesn't believe any of this.
But the whole article, which was probably the most emailed thing of this past week, is a part of a larger strategy by the completely compromised Minority media to make anyone with an alternative thought into an idiot.
And of course the next step will be a medicated idiot.
Because that's literally where it goes.
And of course at the end of the column she brings in Alex Jones.
And just one after another of all these crazy idiots.
Crazy conspiracy theories.
The only thing she didn't put in there was moon landing stuff, but everything else is in there from AIDS to vaccinations to Bush being a part of...
She's essentially walking the walk.
But she's not a scientist.
She's not a licensed scientist.
Yeah, I know.
She's an a-hole.
Experts of the...
Joy Behar going off on global warming, saying, well, how can these people say such things?
They're not scientists.
Don't they know that all scientists...
And then now she becomes one.
Now, I'll take this one step further, because we also talked about the insula.
Because I had, now I wasn't able to share this report with him because it's a video, which means I have a clip.
But this is the Wall Street Journal who now are helping you understand when someone in your family starts to act a little differently, it may be because their insula is acting up, which of course, and this is also bull crap, And that it might be time to take them to see a professional.
Shirley, when we talk about changes in social behavior, walk us through a few examples.
I mentioned lying, but what are some others that would make doctors worry that brain disease might be at play?
Brain disease, John.
Take note of this.
This is very important stuff, because your neighbors will be saying, I think he has brain disease.
Brain disease.
To the lying point, it's actually all forms of insincere behaviors or insincere talk.
What?
Yeah, this is the what?
Insincere talk.
She's a scientist, I might point out.
Insincere talk?
It gets better.
Organizing sarcasm.
Sarcasm!
Whoa!
Sometimes people lose the ability to do that.
Otherwise, different kinds of social behaviors would be people who just act differently than they used to.
They may be less empathetic, less good at telling people's feelings and acting appropriately.
They may start to ignore social etiquette or social norms.
These kinds of changes oftentimes belie some kind of change in the brain that shows up first in social behaviors before you might notice it in other kinds of behaviors such as planning or thinking in a sort of more organized way.
The social changes somehow come first.
Is there a part of the brain surely that they think is specifically affected with impaired emotional responses?
Yeah, there are lots of different parts of the brain that they think work together, and impairment in any one of those probably helps disrupt a lot of these functions.
But one in particular is a region called the insula, which is helpful in helping us recognize important information.
So we might recognize that facial expressions, that gives us important information.
We should pay attention to that.
But for some people, when they have this disruption, And on that, unfortunately I wasn't able to get a clip of it this morning.
There's now a new story, and I'm sure this coincides with this, that there are people who can...
Brad Pitt apparently suffers from this horrible syndrome.
People who have facial recognition...
Oh, what's the word?
It's not dyslexia.
It's...
Hold on a second.
It is prosopagnosis.
Prosopagnosia, also known as face blindness.
Oh.
This is a new one.
He does?
Prosopagnosia.
Wait, the guy who's got the worst case of this, notorious anyway.
Bill Gates.
What?
Bill Gates.
He is?
I don't know.
I'm just guessing.
I thought you were going to say Bill Gates.
That is a pretty wild guess.
No, it's the great artist Chuck Close.
Chuck Close cannot recognize...
If you're talking to him and you tell him who you are and then you go profile, he's a different person.
If you come in again later, I don't know.
He can't see...
And there's a name for this.
I'm looking at his wiki page.
It's Prosopognosia.
Prosopognosia.
I'm reading it right here.
Also known as face blindness.
Disorder of the face perception where the ability to recognize face is impaired.
But it's a part of this overall narrative.
And when you bring out Brad Pitt as a sufferer, hello!
This is what you do.
You bring out a celebrity and then that person has it.
And I find that hard to believe.
So in other words, I could go wandering up to Brad Pitt and say, hey Brad, how come we didn't have that meeting yesterday?
Yeah.
And he wouldn't recognize me.
He'd be like, oh, yeah, let's do it now, man.
Let's sit down.
That seems to stem at least in part from this part of the brain.
Then they cease recognizing that that's really important information.
We should notice people's expressions and emotions.
And instead, those people seem to stop noticing it.
And that might cause them to either act inappropriately or seem like they don't care anymore about people's emotions.
So when we say someone, when we don't think someone is empathetic enough, right?
If we don't think that they respond the correct way in a social situation...
Pay attention, John.
You're talking to us here.
...or we just think they're cruel or mean.
Does that necessarily mean they have brain disease or is it a fine line between having disease and just kind of being an awful person?
It's a combination of ingredients.
We're going to make a distinction between a total a-hole or brain disease.
You know what?
I got an idea.
Well, of course, there's never an easy answer with that.
In general, it's not saying that anyone who has a quirk or is sometimes unempathetic has a brain disease, but it...
If you notice changes in a person, that can be a clue.
So, for example, there was a family member who used to be very good at listening to other people, and now they sort of seem to walk away when you start to talk.
That could be a signal that there's something off.
Something's off.
Time is getting old.
Time is short.
Who needs to be bored stiff?
Just walk.
Listen to your family, Critch.
There might be people who just, for personality reasons, tend to be less empathetic.
And for that person, perhaps, it's not so much that it's a brain disease, but rather that something about the way their brain is set up sets up that personality.
The science is inside!
So, I think we should have cards printed up.
You know, remember, this used to happen when I was a kid.
You know, someone would come by, you know, you'd be somewhere, and they'd hand you a card and would say, I'm not ignoring you, I'm deaf, or something like that.
Yeah, right.
They used to have these little cards that had some signs on the back.
Yeah.
And then they expect you to give me a bunch of the card they gave you.
Exactly.
So, I think we should have, I'm not an asshole, I'm just suffering from brain disease.
Of the insula?
And my amygdala is crapping out too.
Give me $100.
This is so insane where we're headed with this because medication is next.
It really is.
This Brad Pitt thing bothers me.
I'm not buying it.
So DSM-5 is out.
Do you want to hear a couple of the new diseases we have?
We've got five interesting ones.
Okay.
So DSM-5, DSM is the Bible of the pharmaceutical industry that describes...
Did you personally plow through this or you picked this up from other sources?
This I picked up from other sources.
I have not had time to plow through everything.
I'm sure you'll find other stuff.
Of course.
Well, I did find some.
There's actually a couple.
Well, so the face thing...
I think that's now added, but I have to check.
That came out now.
Did you take drugs for it?
You will.
What could you possibly do that would fix that?
Okay, so here is the number one new one.
And we already knew this was coming.
Hoarding disorder.
Hoarding disorder.
Yeah, we've been programmed for that one.
Yeah.
I think I suffer from it.
You do?
But I'm actually an archivist.
Well, it's funny because they...
Archiving disorder.
Yeah, but see, this was...
Being an archivist is not a disorder.
It's a skill.
Yeah, that's what I said.
However, they're already combating my protection of you by saying that these people will often define themselves as collectors.
So wait a minute.
So every stamp collector, toy train collector, little car collector, you're all nice.
I think that may be true.
You suffer from hoarding disorder.
Next up, we have binge eating disorder.
Which I think is probably a real...
I think it falls under bulimia and anorexia.
I don't understand why they have to have a separate...
Except for they keep mentioning the acronym, which I think is COOL BED. So you're a bed sufferer, binge eating disorder.
I'm not quite sure why it was put in outside of stuff that's already in there.
Here's a weird one.
Skin picking disorder.
I've heard of this.
I actually ran into somebody who had this disorder.
Yeah, skin picking has been documented in medical literature since the 19th century.
Yeah.
But only now has it been...
I suffer from that a little bit, I think.
Really?
I think it's a part of obsessive compulsiveness.
If I have a mosquito bite, or like, I got a fire ant bite the other day, like a week ago.
Yeah, on my arm.
Does that hurt?
Not as much as I thought I would.
But it was a million of them.
Yeah, no, I'd be pissed.
Which would make me psycho.
Brain disease.
You need drugs.
So you got bit by a fire ant and you started picking at it.
Yeah.
And maybe it's because of the irritant of the venom, which I'm sure would have gone.
And then I'm like, why am I doing this?
Why am I picking at this?
It's like stupid.
What does picking at your skin entail?
I mean, you're picking.
Why don't you just scratch it?
Let me see if I can...
Skin picking disorder affects around 2-5% of people in the United States.
Not simply a harmless habit, nor merely a symptom of another disorder.
Oh, it's specific.
Skin picking may result in significant tissue damage.
Yeah.
Often leads to medical complications such as local infections and septicemia.
It becomes septic.
Data from multiple researchers around the world consistently show skin picking disorder has distinct characteristics, important neurobiological links, and documented responsiveness to treatments medication can work.
Then we have the third, somatic symptom disorder.
A new stand-alone disorder for people who experience a disproportionate sense of anxiety about their health and at least one physical symptom such as a persistent headache.
How does this differ from hypochondria?
Well, this is...
Because they say it's new, and I think it makes sense because we're inundated with all this stuff that we're supposed to have.
Right, right, right.
We're all sick.
We're all going to die.
And we should take a drug, and we should ask our doctor if it's right for us.
And it gives you a headache.
It's like, yeah.
Right, it gives you a headache.
Now, how does this differ from hypochondria?
I don't have...
I don't have an answer to that.
Can I submit that in writing for the record?
I'm learning.
You should.
I'm learning from all the C-SPAN stuff.
And then the one that really kind of got me is a newly created category of behavioral addiction known as internet addiction.
Was there a subcategory?
Facebook addiction?
No, that falls into this.
Newly defined condition associated with loss of control over internet use leads to negative psychosocial and physical results, such as impairment of academic failure.
That doesn't make sense.
It should be academic failure, not impairment of academic failure.
That would be the opposite.
Social deficits, criminal activities, and even death.
It consists of three main subtypes.
Excessive gaming, sexual preoccupations, and email slash text messaging.
Not Facebook!
Yeah, it's not called out specifically.
But I think it would fall under...
No, I mean, it doesn't say Facebook.
There is treatment, however.
You know what the included treatment is?
Uh, Valium.
Electric shock therapy.
What?
Yeah.
No.
Yes!
Somebody bullcrapped you.
You read this and somebody put this in as a joke.
No, this is not a joke.
No, that's actually in The Guardian, even.
I'm looking at a link here.
You're kidding me.
No, I'm not kidding you.
So in other words, because you do too much texting, which is like every high school girl.
Yeah, you gotta shock that bitch.
They should put you in a bed, tie you down, stick a ball in your mouth so you can bite down when they jolt your brain and knock your IQ down to 35 points.
Is that what you're telling me?
I'm telling you that there is a note here that electroshock therapy has been deemed to work against internet addiction.
So does he have your head chopped off.
Speaking of which...
Before we go any further, let me say in the morning to you, John C. DeVore.
Yeah, in the morning to you, Adam Curry.
In the morning to all the ships at sea, boots on the ground, feet in the water, subs in the air, and all the dames and knights out there.
And while you're being inundated with bull crap about how you have brain disease, this program, which hopefully brings you the type of value you're looking for, is bringing you actual news confirmed from an official dude who knows what he's talking about who says it's bull crap.
He's never getting any more funding from the NIH, I'll tell you that.
No, the NIH doesn't listen to this show.
Okay.
Thank goodness.
Yeah, we do have a few executive producers to thank.
And beginning with, we have one, two, two executive producers, Sir Keith, both of them Knights, of course.
Sir Keith in Medford, Oregon, 64515.
He wants two to the head, a whip it, whip it, whip it thing.
L.G. Wyatt Science.
What?
Okay.
That's a lot of his four.
I'd love to tune in early and hear Adam sing along with the fat lady.
Yeah, well.
Sets up the whole show for him.
Oh, that's nice.
So we'll give him a two to the head, whip it, L.G. Wyatt Science.
Okay.
Oh, sorry.
Sorry, I didn't mean to do that.
There you go.
Thank you, Sir Keith.
What an interesting amount, too.
645-15.
What do you think that's about?
There's no explanation for it that I can tell.
Dr.
Sharkey in Jackson, Tennessee.
Wow, Dr.
Sharkey is really...
He's stepping up, man.
Here's a check for 515.
If you get this before, show 514.
Make me number of the 514 Club.
So we have to make a note.
But it should be the 515 Club.
Well, he says if he gets it in early, which he did...
No, but this is 515.
He didn't get it in early.
It's in for 515.
Well, I thought we were on 515.
Yes, but he says make me a 514 Club member.
That would have been last week's show.
Oh.
Oh.
Good work, John.
Exactly.
Brain disease.
It starts early.
Hey, hmm, John's attitude is really changing.
Hey!
I wonder.
Yeah, well, it's always a possibility.
Anyway, he says, hold on one second.
I have to do something.
There we go.
Nuts.
Excuse me.
As I get back to the work.
Add the extra dollars as a tip.
Anyway, Dr.
Sharkey, P.S. How about some shut up slaves?
I'm the Attorney General.
Do we have that?
No.
Oh yeah, we have to clip it.
That's the clip where...
Yeah, I know exactly what's clipping.
I'm the Attorney General, dammit!
You must respect me.
You know, that's a good clip to make, but I can do the shut-up slave, but I don't have the...
And then a karma.
And he was serious about the Cipro prescriptions for the upcoming anthrax apocalypse.
Yeah, he wants to be our dealer.
Oh, okay.
If you want some Cipro.
Well, thank you very much, Sir Dr.
Sharkey.
Sir Sharkey, I should say.
And it's always good to have a medical doctor on board with us.
For when, you know, when we actually need some help.
So, thank you very much.
Here we go.
A little...
Shut up, Slay!
You've got Carmen.
Excellent.
All right.
Onward, we have an associate executive producer, Eric Vlasinski, who...
Nuts.
Okay, I'm going to plead the fifth.
Should I just read it while you figure out why I'm dicking around like this?
Adam, give me preemptive karma from our startup a couple of years ago.
You gave him something.
We're pretty well now.
We're doing pretty well now.
So here's part of my due is 220.
I need some more karma.
My wife worked for the state of Connecticut.
After being harassed by her boss and didn't apparently sue him, it was let go.
And our killer health insurance is gone.
Wow.
So he needs some welcome to Obamacare karma.
Yeah, for real.
You've got karma.
And I'd like to point out that lots of people invest in startups, and typically, certainly if there's a venture capitalist involved, you will not see your money ever again.
I think our investment was a good one, John.
It paid off in spades here.
Preemptive karma, and we got a nice associate producership support out of it.
Thank you, Eric.
That's our investment.
Yeah, that's our investment.
Our investment was well spent.
Wayne Larcombe in Sunny Hills, Queensland, $205.14.
And I cannot find a note from him anywhere, so I don't think he left one.
I think he's just giving us $205.14.
We can read something later.
Stephen Williams also $201 in Boise, Idaho.
Actually, there was a note, but that wasn't for him.
He came in as a check from one of the banks, so he just needs some karma.
Okay, here we go.
You've got karma.
You've got karma.
Since we were reading some notes, and he'll be our last associate executive producer for show 515, I did get a note that's kind of an interesting note from Benjamin Ritkins, handwritten, so JC couldn't read it, which I think is now I realize we can write code.
If you want to write something, you know how parents used to speak in pig Latin?
Yeah.
So that the kids wouldn't know what they were talking about.
Now you just write it.
Just write it on a piece of paper.
The kid would be like, what's that scribbling?
Yeah.
What's the scribbling?
I do not get it.
What is that?
I don't understand.
What is that?
He says, I'll be sending, and this is a point of interest, I will be sending my donations via check from now on.
I don't like this intimidation by PayPal and think it is like the IRS demanding donors list of the Tea Party groups.
So we are getting some flack about it.
Apparently there's a message comes up saying, we're looking into you.
Yeah, this is the, if it complies with the regular, it's very possible we are about to be in big trouble with PayPal.
That's the way I see it.
To me it feels like there's something rocking on the wall.
And it has to do with the word donation.
I'm telling you, in particular because the PayPal team or whoever you talk to over there says, no, the best thing is to put donation on it.
That'll work great.
I guarantee you there's something going on with this, and everyone's getting investigated.
And it could even be just intimidation.
It's like, oh yeah, you're sending money to those guys?
Yes, we're going to hold on to your money.
It could take 72 hours, I think is what it says, 48 or 72 hours, to see if it complies with regulations.
That's a scary message.
It's not a nice thing.
PayPal is not being okay with this.
And then meanwhile, Google dropped their shopping cart completely, because they were never very cooperative anyway.
So we couldn't use them.
What do you mean?
Until they shut down the post office, and everything goes to hell.
Well, interesting.
I got a note from an unnamed producer.
Adam, many of us...
Work in sensitive positions.
He's talking about the producers who listen to the show and contribute.
The dilemma we are posed with is during our periodic review for our clearances, we need to report on organizations to which we donate.
My colleagues and I have discussed the issue at length, and the real concern is that although no agenda is doing nothing illegal, our donations could look unfavorable to a douchebag investigator who is still asleep.
I know you are very knowledgeable in business and IT but if you could please allow me to humbly make a suggestion.
Make it easy for us by putting a price on the iTunes download.
Even if you need to create a premium version that is exactly the same but has a price tag, this will allow us to purchase a product, thus avoiding the whole donation dilemma altogether.
Like you said on the show, it will always be freely available for download on your site, so it is still in the public domain.
This compromise allows those of us who are concerned about our careers to give during each episode.
Isn't this pathetic?
Well, hold on, let me finish.
The colleagues I introduced to the show love it.
I hope you consider the proposed compromise, even if just on a trial basis, to prove that people want to pay.
Yes, it is very sad is what it is.
Sad.
Yeah, this is what our country's come to.
I mean, I agree with him.
I think he's dead on on this whole thing.
And if I was working in the government right now, especially in a sensitive position, whatever that might be, and there's plenty of them.
Most jobs actually seem so now because everything's classified.
And a bunch of snoops roaming around trying to butt into your business to make sure you're toe in the line.
And all the rest of it, it is really a sad indictment.
I mean, this is like every once in a while we talk about this over the dinner table.
Was this what it was like?
And I don't want to bring this up casually or like jokingly, but what was it like day-to-day, everyday living when you were in Germany in the late 30s?
You know what it was?
People were like, hey, that Hitler guy's pretty cool.
Yeah, he's doing good stuff.
They loved him.
They did love him.
Oh, you can't go to that meeting.
Oh, you can't do this because they're going to find out and then you're going to lose your job.
I mean, this is a FICA score you can lose your job over.
Well, first of all, you can't get a job.
You won't get called back for your interview because it's a part of the process.
Yeah.
Yeah, no.
Well, why don't you think about how we can do that?
Because I agree with you.
I have an idea.
I think that's a really cool idea.
I have an idea.
To just have a special.
It's the same exact episode.
I have an idea.
Okay, tell me.
I have an idea.
I think that it should not be a digital download.
So first of all, here's my main problem.
My main problem is, why the heck should we give 30% to any of these a-holes?
There's no reason for that at all.
Well, that's right.
If we put a fee on, then Apple's going to get a bunch of our money.
Anyone's going to get a bunch of your money.
So perhaps the easiest way, so we can still...
Because we still kind of have to...
So we don't get crushed by the IRS. It's easy for us to have everything run through either a check or through some other system.
And I'm thinking maybe we just have some bullcrap thing...
Up on eBay.
Because I think eBay's fees are very low.
And if not, we'll find some other one.
And it just has to be something really, really simple.
Well, we could do this through No Agenda Nation.
I mean, Eric has a...
Yes, this is my point.
...a shopping cart.
This is my point.
We could just sell something that is gratuitous.
Yes.
You know, you don't really get anything.
You just buy a token or something that allows you to listen to the show.
Let's make it funny.
What should it be?
Something really funny that costs nothing, that we don't have to manufacture, doesn't say anything.
Should we just call it an ounce of air?
Airtime.
Airtime!
There you go.
And we send an empty bag full of air.
How cool would that be?
That'd be great.
A can.
No, not a can.
No, no.
No, a can you could actually have in your office.
You could have a can of air.
No!
The bag is going to deflate and it's going to be bulky and it's going to be hard to do.
I'm talking about a little bag that you put weed in.
Oh, like those religious guys.
Like a Coke bag, you know, like a dime bag.
I'm talking something really small.
Dime bag.
You're already making Eric the Shield like, hey, I'm going to manufacture cans.
Yeah, I got a great idea.
No, no, stop.
Don't do that.
We're not going to do that.
Just get a bunch of those bags.
I have them here.
I get like transistor.
If I buy a resistor or capacitor, it comes in a little baggy.
Let's look at it from a more practical perspective.
Instead of having him do anything extra, let's do the following.
Now, Eric's going to put on the market the bag 33.
Correct.
Yes.
Which is a reusable bag.
We can have a premium version for No Agenda Listener's bag.
Same exact bag.
Right.
That costs like, you know, 20 bucks instead of...
Okay.
Okay.
And that way it ships out the same thing.
So it goes...
It's got almost...
It's got the skew if he...
Right.
Right.
You'll be plus one.
The No Agenda Nation SKU numbering order system.
But it should be, like, outrageous.
It should really be, like, because I don't know what the bag is.
So the bag is going to be, like, what, three bucks or four bucks or whatever it is.
We'll have the No Agenda bag, and then you'll have the same bag, the same bag.
But it'll be, like, with special airtime.
Yeah, the same exact bag with it costs, you know...
Great.
And if you want, we'll make it something easy, like just say $10, and then if the guy is $100, you know, likes to donate $100 in a pop, he just buys 10 of the bags.
He gets 10 bags in the process.
Exactly.
And it's great because when you're walking around the halls of the agency...
And so you see someone else with a 33 bag, you'll be like, uh-huh.
Say no more, baby.
Yeah!
Hey!
33, that's a magic number.
Anyway, for those of you who are currently not working in an agency and do want to support the work that we do, the countless hours of bullcrap we had to sit through, or that I risk friendships by getting endorsements from professors to call out the New York Times and the science editor of Boing Boing as complete a-hole shill full of crap dudes, then consider going to our website.
And we'd also like to thank Jesse Anderson for the artwork for episode 514.
We've been getting a lot of good work in, and that is highly appreciated.
Noagendaartgenerator.com.
Keep it coming, because the more choice we have, the better we can serve everybody else.
And then there's the formula!
Our formula is this.
We go out, we hit people in the mouth.
I want to do a brief little technology intermezzo, if you don't mind, John.
Sure.
Because, you know, I got a lot of feedback from the whole Google Gestapo thing about the webmaster tools and all that crap.
So, turns out Bing is doing exactly the same thing.
So now not only do we have to go through Webmaster Tools at Google, but you'll also have to sign up for Webmaster Tools over there at Bing.
And they've got their own grand gentleman, their own version of Matt Cutts.
His name is Dwayne Forrester.
Hey gang, Dwayne Forster here.
Hey gang!
Bing Webmaster Tools.
We see a lot of this question.
We've heard about it at different conferences.
We see it on our discussion forums.
Yeah, he's a Canadian.
And generally I get emails about it.
But the question ultimately revolves around controlling Bingbot's crawl rate.
Bing bots crawl, right?
So he goes into this whole thing about the webmaster tools.
And let me read to you a little bit of the webmaster tools.
Bing has a malware re-evaluation process to aid you, the webmaster, in case Bing has discovered that you have some malware.
And we have, of course, discussed in some great detail that this malware, although it is indeed a piece of malicious code running on your site, is not intended to Not necessarily screw the user of said website,
but to gain the results in the search engines such as Google and Bing, which is why they then turn your site off in Internet Explorer, telling the visitors that you are a crook, a thief, you got like your little scary dude, you know, could kill you, you're gonna die.
So in Bing's Webmaster Tools, You get a review.
You can go in and say, okay, I fixed the problem.
During the review period, Microsoft will perform, quote, several deep re-scans.
If all is clear after those several scans, Bing will notify you with an all clear notification and remove the malware label.
If Bing still finds issues, and here it comes, John.
So let's say, you know, like, you think you've got it, you think you've got the hidden frame off that'll ruin Bing's business of people scamming to get higher results to make money, which has nothing to do really with you or the people who want to read your stuff.
So if they still find issues, you will then be notified of the failure and, quote, you will not be able to submit another re-evaluation request for some time.
Yeah, actually, when we went through our little process with Google, one of our producers wrote me saying, you're lucky that you got this thing through within a few days, because if this was with Bing, it takes months.
Yeah.
So they're just a sloppy...
In fact, Eric DeShill has a couple of articles he's going to write for Gina Smith's A New Domain where he...
Eric, for some reason, he's like, I guess, he has some mental disorder where he actually likes to see what the workings of something are.
It's a brain disease.
There's obviously something wrong with him because he actually wants to know what's going on.
Is he a skin picker?
No, he looks at code.
Oh, he's a code reader.
He's a code reader.
So he's watching the bot.
He's been studying the Google versus the Microsoft bots in great detail.
He did have a little teaser here.
He did discover that if you're using Chrome and you hit any website...
A Google bot will come by within about 10 minutes and hit it and just re-scan it.
And it's almost as if the people who use Chrome are doing all the, you know, they're doing the crawling.
Yeah, of course you are.
So you're doing all the work for Google.
They don't have just massive, you know, crawlers out there.
They're watching what you do and say, oh, there's a website we haven't seen.
Let's just, let's crawl it and index it and then let's see what else this idiot does.
Yeah.
So, anyway, he's discovered that that goes on, and he also says that the Google bots are still a hundred times more efficient and smarter than the Microsoft bots, which he claims are crude and idiotic.
Well, first of all, Eric the Shill needs some electroshock therapy, because this is not good, this stuff he's doing.
He's looking at things he should not be looking at, so he's prime target to be treated.
Second, it is no wonder that the Bing bots are the stupidest bots in the universe.
Witness a video that popped up right after I'm looking at this Dwayne Forrester idiot.
Hey gang!
Hey gang!
You're ruining my business, dude.
Hey gang!
For your own benefit.
So here's two douches.
And they're sitting there and they're going to show you the wondrous Windows 8 tablet Bing search.
Are you ready for this?
Yeah.
This will show you why Microsoft has the dumbest Bing bots.
Why they are doomed.
Doomed as, not just as a company, but as human beings.
Hey folks, welcome back.
Stephen Wyett's here with David Lindheimer, one of our great product managers across a bunch of cool experiences.
It's an experience, John.
It's not a search, it's an experience.
On the tablet and inside of Bing.
And today we want to show you a very cool new app that comes preloaded on all the new Windows 8 devices.
It's the Bing app for search, right?
That's right.
Right, yeah, that's right!
Alright, so check it out.
So, you'll see it up here in the corner, right here.
I can tap it, and I go into this beautiful full-page experience.
Full-page experience, John!
Are you witnessing the full-page experience?
Hello, John, John, John, John, John, John, John.
Do you get the full-page experience?
I loved it when it was in DOS. That's the homepage image of the day.
You see hotspots on there, which are great.
I can go back and see previous ones.
And look how, my personal favorite feature, the hotspots actually move around.
I just think that's so cool.
I think that's so cool!
Why is this guy talking so fast?
What is his problem?
Wait for it.
That's all there for the main experience.
Let's go ahead and do what...
It's an experience.
Now, don't play the harmonica.
I want you listening to this.
This is important.
You write about this stuff.
Personal favorite feature, the hotspots actually move around.
I just think that's so cool.
You can tap on the hotspot, see what it is.
That's all there for the main experience.
Let's go ahead and do what this app is designed from the ground up to do, which is reimagine search on a tablet and...
This app, Bing Search, was intended to reimagine search.
Reimagine search, John.
Now wait for the excitement of this experience.
Help you get to an answer or get your task done very quickly.
So I'm going to go ahead and tap on the bar here.
And I see trending searches right now, so I don't have to type at all, right?
But now what else can I do here?
Well, for example, let's say you're interested in the Olympics, and you want to do a quick search on one of the swimmers.
So one of the things you can do is just tap in there and start typing the first few characters of one of the swimmers, Ryan Lofty, and you'll immediately get an auto-suggest for Ryan Lofty.
These are timely auto-suggests, too, obviously.
Exactly.
So Ryan Lofty, oh, look at that experience.
That's beautiful.
He's finger-friendly.
I can go all the way across.
I can see...
It does!
Finger friendly!
As I pop in, as I'm going to the right, I get to see related searches right in line, too, which is great.
So I'm actually able to refine my search or get related searches right from the search experience, which is pretty slick.
That's right, Stephen.
Okay.
So should I go ahead and tap into one?
Right.
Pick one of those, tap right into it.
What you'll see at this point is Internet Explorer loading and bringing up the page.
There it is.
In this case, a Wikipedia page.
Very cool.
Now, if I get back, I think this is my favorite thing of the whole app here.
I can actually go ahead and use Windows 8's new stat feature, snap that to the side of the screen here, and boom!
Look at that!
Boom!
Look at that experience!
It's finger-friendly!
Sell all Microsoft stock now!
Sell!
These people are idiots!
How can...
What?
What drugs are they on that they're talking this fast?
And that you allow someone to talk about your search app as an experience.
It's an experience.
It's not DMT, dude.
It's a freaking app that ties into a second-rate search engine.
That goes to Wikipedia with a search query.
Woo!
Boom!
Look at that experience.
Full screen app.
It's finger friendly.
You know, that should be their slogan, Microsoft.
Finger friendly.
Give us the finger.
It's finger friendly.
They should be hiring me for this stuff.
They should be hiring us in general.
We know what we're talking about.
It seems unlikely.
We're going to get hired.
No, we're not going to get hired for anything.
We've got to talk about Fast and Furious because we know exactly what's going to happen.
If we don't do it, we're going to wind up talking about a title for the show and be like, oh, we forgot to talk about Fast and Furious!
We have to do this.
Because this was one of the better newsletters that not only teased what we were going to talk about, which is why I'm catching it, but also had a PDF in there, which I have copied into the show notes.
You'll be able to find that after the show at 515.nashownotes.com.
I have marked it up for your convenience.
Oh, you marked it up.
Yeah, of course I did.
Well, hey, it's what I do.
All right, so tell us about this, John.
Well, apparently what's happened is that in a case in Chicago, they captured some guy from the Sinaloa cartel in some screwball situation that took place.
Yeah, he was like the top three of the bosses.
And he was meeting with our people, our government.
FBI. FBI in Mexico somewhere.
And then because he was going to be the new contact guy because apparently we have been doing an intelligence deal with the Sinaloa cartel specifically.
And what's interesting, if you start looking at people who have been busted for gun running recently, every one of them is selling to the other cartels.
Anyone who sells to the Sinaloa cartel, they're kind of off the hook because it's, according to this guy, he says that Fast and Furious was not a test of anything.
It was literally gun running with the idea that you build up the Sinaloa cartel, load them up with the best weapons you can find, destroy them.
Let them take over and kill the other cartels, and so there's only one cartel left, and then we would go in there and arrest them.
We don't know what happened.
Well, let me interject right there.
So according to this document, which is a court document, which is why it's cool to have it, the Sinaloa cartel was allowed free range of drug trafficking, their drugs, into the United States, And we were giving them weapons so that they could get rid of all the other cartels.
I'm a little more cynical, John.
I think that once it was only one cartel, then we just have one supplier, one guy to deal with.
Yeah, we don't have a mess.
I mean, it makes no sense that you say, okay, we're going to help you.
Yeah, you're right.
I'll buy that completely.
Thank you.
So anyway, so this guy, somehow there was some double dealing or something happened in Mexico, because this guy's supposed to be immune.
He got arrested in Mexico.
By the Mexicans.
Yeah, but then he was extradited to the U.S., and what he's saying is he wants...
That he can prove that he's had all these conversations with the DEA, with the FBI, and he knows exactly what documents are there.
And this is essentially a court request for documents from these agencies to prove that all of this happened.
Discovery.
Discovery.
Let me just read from the documents as I marked up anyway.
Mr.
Zambada Nibla was told he would not be arrested, that the agents knew of his prior cooperation through Loya, and they just wanted to continue receiving information from him.
He was also told that the arrangements with him had been approved at the highest levels of the United States government.
He was told that a Washington, D.C. indictment would be dismissed and that he would be immune from further prosecution.
There's also evidence that at the hotel, Mr. Zambarani did accept the agreement, and thereafter, an reliance on that agreement provided further information regarding rival drug cartels.
He was then arrested approximately five hours after the meeting by Mexican authorities.
So there was some double-crossing going on.
But what's interesting in the argument, did you read the document?
Did you have a chance to read the whole thing?
Yeah, yeah, I read it.
They refer to Whitey Bulger.
Right.
So, you know, it's like, it's so obvious what is going on here.
And this, of course, and in fact, here, they refer to the new cocaine cowboys, how to defeat Mexico's drug cartels, where all this is kind of laid out.
And even worse, and this is the thing that bugs me, I have received messages from people who listen to this show that, Who have told me that this is an exact replica of seasons five...
Of four.
Was it four?
I thought it was five and six.
I think it was four and five.
Of Sons of Anarchy on the FX. Which, of course, I'm like, ugh.
It took me a freaking year even to watch Rubicon.
And everyone's like, holy shit, this is exactly what went down.
And now we have to reevaluate our viewing strategy where we've spent so much time on C-SPAN. Where a lot of the messaging like Rubicon, but also like Sons of Anarchy, if you really want to communicate something secretly, you put it in plain sight.
In fiction?
Yes!
No, it's always been believed that your best messaging tool is fiction.
Well, and it's...
So anyway...
So we already know that...
And by the way, this is nothing...
I mean, the Iran-Contra affair, Iran-Contra affair, and some of these other things that we've seen.
We've seen the government do this before.
That Arkansas operation where they're running cocaine into the country.
Mina, Arkansas.
Clinton.
Yeah, there's a bunch of this has been going on, so there's no reason not to believe that this guy's not accurate in what he says.
They killed like 20 kids there.
I think what happened, personally...
I think they picked the guy up in Mexico.
The Mexicans didn't.
I think this was an attempt because we have kept the Mexican government out of the Fast and Furious deal.
They weren't told about it.
They don't like this idea that we're controlling the drug gangs in their country.
I think they arrested the guy to embarrass us.
They shipped him and kept an eye on this whole deal, waiting for us to make a mistake so Mexico could humiliate us if we let the guy go.
And so I think we've been forced to follow into this.
Now all of a sudden, he's in the system, this poor guy.
Poor guy's a criminal.
But he's...
He's in the system and now he's trying to get out of the system and our government, you know, being the way we do business, well, you know, too bad.
And so he's starting to spill the beans.
And to add to this, we already were like, wow, why did...
President Obama head over heels run over to Mexico to discuss how the drug stuff was being handled because the CIA apparently was in charge of a lot of the communication and stuff that was going on and the new president said, nah, we're going to do that directly through my office now if you don't mind.
So I think that Not only, and this of course is not just this administration, this has been going on for a long time, but unfortunately President Obama is the guy who has the gig right now, not only is he an evil, is the whole administration a bunch of evil, drug dealing, gun running, criminal a-holes, they suck at it.
This is the thing that bugs me the most.
I don't care if we're going to be a criminal country, great, but don't suck at it.
Yeah, well, there's that.
Whatever the case, I think it's spun out of control.
And now the idea is, and I put this in the newsletter, people should read that newsletter again because it actually was educational.
And people say, well, you never write any...
I write newsletters that are newsletters occasionally, so don't drop off the subscription list because you didn't like something.
Anyway, I think they're going to do everything they can.
And I believe that I was correct in the last couple of shows where I said this is the time they're going to try to get Obama because all these things are happening at once.
They have to quash this.
They've got to get this out of the public.
Right now, it's going to be Alex Jones, Glenn Beck, I think Drudge has maybe brought this up.
It'll maybe creep into maybe...
Even though I doubt it, it might creep into a Fox show, but more likely stuff on the radio.
Michael Savage, those types of guys.
Hannity on the radio, maybe.
But if this thing goes into the mainstream media and people start looking into it, this is going to be a mess, a big mess.
Okay, so now this is a nice tie-in, because if you want any information, because you're right, here's what's going to happen.
We're going to have, and there's going to be yelling and screaming.
Well, of course, I'm yelling and screaming because I can't believe how shitty a job our government is at being criminals, which is just disappointing.
We invented the mob, please, or we imported it from Sicily.
We just ruined the whole idea of organized crime.
We're just no good at it.
People with brain disease who are yelling about this, and they're insane, and they're crazy, and it's all being set up, and everyone's talking about conspiracy theories.
Oh, you believe in all these conspiracies.
This is a conspiracy, conspiracy.
Go ahead, go to your browser, John, and type in Fast and Furious, and you'll see that the Google Watch has already taken place.
Because what do you see when you type in Fast and Furious?
I'm trying to get the browser to come up.
What's the problem here?
This makes so much sense.
Before you say anything, before you respond, I want you to know that the movie industry can change movie releases and they do it all the time.
They will delay a release.
They will accelerate a release.
And it's very important because a lot of money involved.
And if you can...
Right.
So you type in Fast and Furious and there's nothing about this.
No.
What is it?
What do you see?
All movies, movies, movies, movies, movies, movies.
Which movie?
It's theaters May 24th.
Thank you.
Fast and Furious 6.
There you go.
Completely Google washed by the movie.
Well, that was a wise thing to do was to name it after a movie.
The code name after the movie.
It's brilliant.
And you can go all the way to the bottom.
I don't see anything at the bottom.
The very bottom of page one.
Not on mine.
Fast and furious scandal returns to haunt Obama.
Not on mine.
Not on mine it is.
Really?
Are you logged in?
I don't log in on this machine.
Ah, okay.
I'm logged in.
To my Google Plus account.
And let me see.
First page, second page.
Nope.
I'm going to go down.
Third page.
Nope.
Okay.
Now I'm going to go to Bing.
Bing.
I haven't been to Bing ever, I don't think.
So I don't have an account there.
So I'm not logged in.
I'll do Fast and Furious.
And boom!
Second link, Wikipedia.
So if you're logged in, they are definitely obfuscating it.
Why would they do that?
I mean, why would they do that?
Why would they do it to somebody logged in and not do it to somebody not logged in?
Well, I don't know why they would do it to somebody not logged in, but I'm logged in.
I'm not getting it.
That's my point.
Yeah, I know.
I understand what your point is, but the rationale is what's eluding me.
No, there is...
I can't answer why they're not doing it for people who aren't logged in, but it sure makes sense to be doing it for people who are logged in.
Let me sign out and see what happens from Google.
Let me see.
Fast and Furious.
You can play along at home, people.
Fast and Furious.
We've got a federal gun trafficking investigation.
I can't.
It's still not showing up.
Well, who knows?
Maybe it's because you're in Texas.
Austin.
I'm pretty sure it's an Austin thing.
Yeah.
We can't have any of this in Austin.
We can't have that happening in Austin.
That would be really, really bad.
Yeah.
Well, anyway, the point is, yeah, I know.
There's a sign of competence.
But we'll see if they can keep this lid on this.
Are you kidding me?
We'll just spin up another tornado or something.
We'll get something going.
It doesn't matter.
This is not going to be on the radar.
And when I'm looking at this document, the Joint Staff Report prepared for Daryl R. Issa, Chairman of the United States House of Representatives Committee on Oversight and Government Reform, and Senator Charles Grassley, ranking member, have materials relevant to this defense.
The Joint Staff Report revealed that the operation known and authorized at the highest levels of the Justice Department, which included agents from ATF, DEA, FBI, ICE, and IRS, hmmm.
I didn't know that.
Allowed guns to be illegally purchased in the United States, transported to Mexico to end up in the hands of members of drug cartels.
This chain of events inevitably placed the guns in the hands of violent criminals, which the Department of Justice was not only aware, but sponsored and supported.
The Department of Justice and its agency partners knew that the foreseeable result of the strategy was that death and destruction would occur in Mexico.
Indeed, as confirmed in the report, violence and death did occur.
And the result was not only approved, but regarded with, quote, giddy optimism by ATF supervisors.
Giddy optimism.
Did you know that?
Ah, giddy.
I like giddy.
Giddy.
That apparently is in the Congressional Committee report, that there was giddy optimism.
Wow.
Yeah, so, um, now, is this an impeachable offense?
Uh, well, I would, yeah, probably.
Yeah?
Do you think so?
Gun running?
Yeah.
At the presidential level?
Well, when, I mean, it's just done, and we sell guns to everybody else, I mean...
Well, I don't know if it's any more impeachable than a couple of events that took place and what's going on with Bradley Manning, which is another little thing going on.
Yeah.
And I do have a couple of Bradley Manning clips I want to get to.
Let's rock it.
Let's rock it.
Well, okay, so there's this woman, I keep forgetting her name, Allison something, Alexa O'Brien.
She apparently is the only person in the world who's hanging out outside the military court and going in.
The only one, nobody else, nobody in the media or anybody during the Bradley Manning hearings, which are in these courts, and apparently the public can go in under some circumstance, even though they won't tell you when they're doing anything.
And she's had to go by the theory that when they tell her that she won't, there's probably nothing for her to do.
That's when she goes in, and there they are.
So she's been essentially documenting every day of the trial.
Mm-hmm.
And she's kind of befuddled by the fact, and this was on Harry Shearer's podcast.
So I have to go to an obscure podcast, another obscure podcast, to get anything from anyone.
It's unbelievable.
Okay.
So I got a couple of other things that are kind of unique.
First of all, Manning is being railroaded, and they also have a number of crazy things that they're charging him with, including something called Wanton Publishing.
And I want to play this one.
This is Bradley Manning and a new crime of wantonly publishing.
In the case of the espionage, he pled to every lesser included offense for every espionage charge against him except for what was called Spec 11 of Charge 2, which relates to the Guarani video.
And that dovetails into the grand jury investigating WikiLeaks, and there's a reason why he didn't.
He pled not guilty to stealing U.S. government property.
He pled not guilty to the multiple charges of the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act, which are very provocative charges because he had access.
He didn't hack anything.
He also pled not guilty to the aiding the enemy charge.
And then he pled not guilty to one of the more provocative and disturbing charges against him.
It's never been used before.
In fact, it's not tied to any existing federal criminal violation or punitive article under the Uniform Code of Military Justice.
It's what's called wantonly publishing.
LAUGHTER I think both of us do that every day.
Yeah, that's why it's so terrifying.
But the crazy thing about this charge is that the knowledge element parallels the knowledge element in the aiding the enemy charge, so it essentially dovetails into aiding the enemy.
Now, wantonly publishing is actually legislative language in some law?
Well, in oral arguments early on in the pre-trial, the government argued that it was, you know, in terms of punishment, that it was analogous to espionage, but that it was far, far worse than espionage.
Wow.
I'm looking at it now, and there's very little.
You have to actually put wantonly publishing in quotes to get anything off of the compromised Central Intelligence Agency database known as Google.
This is scarier than anything else I've heard.
Yeah, I thought so too, and she felt the same way.
This is, by the way, this is ours.
And this is us.
I mean, we are wantonly publishing espionage, which is a direct tack on the free press.
But if you listen to this whole...
I've got a two-parter here.
One is the Manning and the Press and the Manning and the Press Part 2.
But play Manning and the Press because nobody is covering this case and it makes zero sense, but then there is a slight explanation.
What's so interesting about the Manning case in context with the federal investigation into Julian Assange and WikiLeaks, a media organization in the digital age, as well as the sort of socioeconomic changes that have been happening with essentially the maturation of the game generation or the digital generation vis-a-vis the boomers,
is the fact that in many regards this trial encompasses A joining together of all the major issues of our age in the post-9-11 world.
For example, the entire interagency process has been zeroed in on this young soldier and the WikiLeaks organization and probably one of the largest criminal investigations in U.S. history.
And yet the press hasn't been covering it.
Well, no, because they were complicit in all of it.
Because it wasn't WikiLeaks.
It was actually the press that published all of this stuff.
Well, wantonly published.
Wantonly published, yes.
But they're not covering this case for crap.
And I think she explains it in a kind of a...
It's one explanation.
I think there's others.
But play the part, too, and you hear what she thinks.
I think this has multiple layers to it.
I think on one sense, if we look at it purely from the bottom line perspective, is that WikiLeaks represents a challenge to the market power that the mainstream media organizations have over audiences.
And, of course, you know, it costs a lot of money up front to produce news and especially investigative journalism.
He has all those sets you've got to build.
It's really hard to produce news and entertainment.
It costs relatively little in the digital age to distribute it.
And so, therefore, control of audiences is very, very important as these media organizations enter this new era.
So I think that they've taken a defensive posture towards WikiLeaks because of that, fundamentally.
And I think also it's a question of access to information.
I mean, WikiLeaks, the reason why it's so revolutionary is that it allows the janitor to leak and not simply the high-level Obama administration authorized leak to, you know, Bob Woodward, so to speak, to sell war or a particular political agenda of the elites.
So there's a lot going on here that...
Is reason for them not to cover it?
Alright, John.
Step back.
Step back just a little bit.
You're on the Shays Lounge right now?
Clip of the day.
Well, there you have it.
Thank you very much.
In a nutshell.
In a nutshell, the entire reason why you, the producer of this program, A, are listening to this program, and B, why you are the producer of this program, in whatever way you contribute.
There it is.
There it is!
That was beautiful.
Is she hot, too?
She sounds kind of hot.
It was the audio podcast.
Yeah, no, but what's her name?
Alexa O'Brien.
Alexa O'Brien.
I have a feeling.
I got a feeling.
Oh my goodness!
Mmm, yeah.
Stern to me.
Yeah, she looks a little stern.
Yeah.
Yeah.
She's the only one doing this.
And she'll walk away with the Pulitzer, I'm sure, eventually.
We've got to protect her.
No, she won't.
We're not going to honor her.
You'd be surprised.
We've got to protect her.
Meanwhile, they kept mentioning this Karani video, the Karani video, the Karani video.
And this apparently was something, I don't remember hearing about it.
I guess it was something they glossed over.
It was never put out there.
WikiLeaks never released it.
But when you hear about what it was, you know that video, the first thing they released was the helicopter.
Hey, there's another one.
Let's get him.
Good work.
Well, apparently this Karani video is much worse, and they don't even talk about too much of it here, but they at least give you a little overview under the missing video clip.
Alleged Karani video, although it's pretty clear because that's been said in testimony by agents.
The Karani video is what we call collateral murder, or is it a different video?
No, it's another video that was unpublished by...
It was never published by WikiLeaks.
Essentially, this is a video of an agent said it's a flight over battle space, but the Guarani airstrike in May 2009 killed hundreds of women and children in the Farah province of Afghanistan.
Human rights organizations referred to it as Judgment Day.
And it was a very damning incident.
the Pentagon had said that they were going to release the video and then they backtracked from it.
Damn!
Thank you.
Thank you.
Now I want this.
And apparently there's like lots of gory still photos and there's a video of this.
Oh yeah, no, it's total porn.
It's total porn for these people.
Yeah, it's all violent porn.
Insane idiots.
Oh yeah.
Yeah, they just blew up a bunch of women and children.
Let me guess.
Let me guess.
Was it drones or was it helicopter gunships?
Don't know.
Hmm.
It's not discussed much, but I'm sure we can do a little research and figure it out.
I found it to be kind of disturbing.
This is very disturbing.
Well, it reminds me of the time, if you remember during the Abu Ghraib, the pictures that came out by these boneheads, and then our defense secretary, Rumsfeld, came in front of the mic and said, well, there's worse to come.
Remember that?
There was never any worse to come because they didn't release anything else.
They just said there was worse to come.
And you have to be prepared for it.
Apparently that was just kind of a staging tactic in case these other photos ever did get out.
But they never did.
And apparently they were worse.
And I think this video must be horrible.
I wonder if anyone has it.
So if someone has it somewhere...
Well, the Defense Department has it.
WikiLeaks must have it.
They just never published it because it was...
I don't know why.
I don't know what's going on.
Hmm.
Wow.
Well, so let's go back to your premise.
You're sitting around the table.
It's 1928.
No, it's 1934.
34?
35, 35.
Hello, Jean.
No, wait, you're Johan.
Johan.
Johan, this is Fritz here.
Hey, what do you think about the fact that the government is killing people?
Oh, I think it's exaggerated.
They're not killing people.
It's a great government we've got.
Johan, what happened to your accent?
Johan, are you a spy?
You sound like a spy for the American Yankee.
Now you went Japanese on me.
So by the way, I want to remind people, if they're not listening to our podcast, there's alternatives out there.
And I have a little clip from, it's called This Week in Modern Broadcasting.
This is a kind of a clip that you'll find if you want to go listen to other stuff, you can listen to this sort of thing.
Five kilobyte productions presents...
...an association with...
Can you turn off a fan, please?
Those guys are wicked on the soundboard!
I'm gonna show my support by donating to No Agenda.
Imagine all the people who could do that.
Oh yeah, that'd be fab.
Yeah, on No Agenda.
In the It's a double shot of in the morning.
Good job, John.
I like this new little thing you have.
It's actually a service where we are showing you other podcasts that you could be listening to.
Yeah, you could go elsewhere.
Not all carry the award of best podcast in the universe, but, you know.
That's pretty funny.
So...
Hey, man, can you turn off the...
Well, we've had a couple of shows on the Hot Pockets Tour where it was kind of like that.
Yeah?
Okay.
All right.
So we've got...
Now, we may have a note here I haven't seen.
It's Stephen Shultz, who's in somewhere, part unknown.
It sounds like it sounds Korean.
I'll have to look him up afterwards.
Swansea?
Swansea.
Maybe it's either Korean or God knows where.
Swansea...
Swansea is, yeah, it's south of Seoul.
Okay.
Swansea, yes.
Let's take a quick look on the email here.
Hey, if you're in Korea, South Korea, or if you're in North Korea, even better, first of all, know that Gregson sends his regards, and give us some info.
You know, send us some stuff about what's going on in your neck of the world.
Because it's like, we don't get a lot of information about what's happening over there.
You know, bullcrap.
Yeah.
It's very hard.
And the slingbox is there?
The sling boxes are everywhere.
If you've got an internet connection, you hook your sling box to it, and that's the way it works.
I always find it kind of sad whenever it's like, oh, now we can look at...
Because with South Korean television, it's basically all psi colors all the time.
It's probably insane.
And it doesn't represent the beauty of the people at all.
I think they've taken the propaganda, the telescreen, to a whole new level over there.
With robotic crap and just...
They're like busy.
Busy, busy.
They do it on their websites too.
Everything is wiggling around.
Anyway, $110.85 from Stephen.
Andrew Green in London, $101.
Derek Boley in New South Wales, $100.
And he's going to work on getting a knighthood.
Nice.
Kevin Johnson in Talladega.
Home of the Talladega Racetrack.
Alabama, $100.
One of the big tracks in NASCAR. Really, John?
Do you have any more useless car racing trivia that you can throw in there?
I'm looking.
He says he has a call sign.
Give me a shout-out when he phonetically spells out his calls.
I mean, Kevin Johnson's 6th liquid natural gas.
Okay.
73s, my friend.
Peter McConnell, Stockholm, New Jersey.
You phony.
We're home of the Stockholm Syndrome.
It's actually in Suzhou, China.
So he watched Click, Print, Gun the other day.
Couldn't help but notice he produced...
By Jim Czarnecki.
The very same guy who produced Fahrenheit 9-1-1 in Boeing for Columbine.
Hold on a second.
What?
In the morning!
Hold on a second.
Jim Czarnecki produced that?
Oh.
Well.
Hello.
Excuse me.
Once again, we are...
The best podcast in the universe!
With the best producers in the universe.
I can't believe no one else picked up on that.
Well, in fact, it's obvious now that that thing is a setup.
He says, talking about China, he says it stinks, I tell you.
And now the report, let me give you a report from China.
Soil equals bad.
Water equals bad.
Air equals bad.
I saw a squirrel once about four years ago.
Wow.
Yeah, alright.
And he came in with 9999, so give him that.
Okay, hold on a second.
Very funny.
9999!
Interesting.
Very interesting.
And he said something else about, let me say, the kitchen had no food.
Yeah, the kitchen was completely devoid of food.
It had various anarchist readings casually strewn about.
He's talking about on the movie.
Click, print, gun.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay, very good.
The thing stinks like a Democrat agenda, he says.
Yeah, I know.
Anyway, okay.
We'll look into this.
Yes.
In fact, I wrote a column this last week called 3D printer hype.
Oh, really?
Oh, good job.
What did you put in there?
I said that what got to me was the fact, besides that these guns don't work, they're just a scam of some sort.
And then the 3D printed food?
No.
No.
And if NASA wants to put it on the spaceship, the shuttle's a 3D printer so they can print food?
I don't think so.
This is bull crap.
Yeah.
It's funny because Russ didn't see this last night when I brought it up.
Smart guy.
I said, industry is the most worrisome thing that's come along in millennia.
He's like, what?
Who cares?
Are you going to print a phone?
I said, how short-sighted are you?
Your entire universe revolves around products, bullcrap products.
Everything we do in America is based on borrowing money to buy stupid plastic crap.
Pretty much.
Yeah.
Donald Ripple in Dresden, Ohio.
I like Stockton, New Jersey.
Dresden, Ohio.
888.
Elyse Garling Jewelry in Sunnyside, New York, 8888.
And he or she says...
She?
Hello?
She's one of our hot salmon...
Oh, I know, but I don't know who's right.
It just says Elyse Garling Jewelry.
Oh, okay.
Elyse Garling, that's who she is.
Oh, okay.
Well, Elyse...
Okay.
Lemoncello is on its way.
Okay.
So we have to give some karma in exchange for the limoncello to Ian Garling in Port Angeles.
You've got karma.
He might even be Ian.
Ian.
Could be Ian.
I'll never pronounce that right, so just forget it.
Peter Tangstrom in Amsterdam.
7700.
Uh, Douglas, uh, Joseph Amory in Piscataway, New Jersey.
69!
69, dude!
There we go again.
69, 69.
Uh, Karsten Ovi-Schwartz-Nielsen.
Um...
I'm going to have to read some of this.
Dear Andy and Jezza, it is with trembling hands I write this message while taking my daily whiff of the red pill listening to 514.
I was almost scared out of my pants.
Finally, hearing finally what's his face from the U.S. Cyber Command utter these exact words, the commander's capability to inherently protect ourselves from self-defense.
Funny we didn't catch that.
Yeah, I know.
Well, you know, we catch 90% of these things.
Yeah, well, that's why we have great producers.
Yeah, they catch it if we don't.
So let's just repeat that.
The commander's capability to inherently protect ourselves from self-defense.
Yeah, it's horrible what's going on.
Yeah, so you can be rescued.
Justin Valcourt in Quebec, 6969.
Alec Doherty.
Doughty, Doughty, in Brisbane, 6969.
He says, he was listening to 513 and the analysis of the Australia Qantas Dubai story that I had.
He'd like to offer another local perspective.
The new Qantas Emirates deal was not to make Dubai a destination in and of itself, but rather the main hub wayport for all international Qantas flights.
So they're going to be a hub there.
Qantas previously flew out of Singapore as the primary international hub.
I dare say there have been many horror stories of Western women being jailed in Dubai, but the media is only picking up on them now because of the extra focus Dubai is receiving because of the new Qantas deal.
Okay, I'm not arguing that.
Velo, Vivi Velo, 6969, Ben Smoak.
Willingboro, Jersey.
A Jim in Gitmo Nation Gucci boot.
69.
That must be.
69!
69!
Ended, ended, ended.
All over, done.
Ended, ended.
Simon Marchiniak.
In Poland, I believe.
66-66.
66.
Sebastian Lambinon.
Lambinon.
Lambinon.
Sebastian Lambinon.
And Al Conte.
Why don't you read this while I go turn the phone off?
Hi guys.
As a Dutch expat living in Spain and still struggling to make myself understood, I probably shouldn't be the one saying this, but I can't believe How bad the two of you mangle the language anyway.
Here's a quick pedantic tip.
The Spanish in the morning jingle says por la mañana, not par la mañana.
Any other podcast might consider this to be nitpicking, but we're doing the best podcast in the universe here.
Every detail counts.
Thank you, boss.
Yeah.
Alicante.
You know, it's funny.
Miss Mickey and I, yesterday, we were talking about future.
You know, it's like, well, where are we...
I think I said, do you think we will live in Austin for a long time, forever?
What's forever, of course?
And we both agreed that we could kind of see ourselves in like a seaside shack, which would have, you know, kind of a bedroom, you know, table.
Off the coast near Barcelona.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, kind of.
Big ham radio antenna.
Yeah.
But the only thing is, it's like the Spanish.
I don't know if I have patience for them.
You could learn Spanish.
No, I can learn the language.
Oh, you think the Spanish themselves are annoying?
The culture, maybe.
Maybe.
I don't know.
Maybe.
I don't know.
You must have a good time.
I like American culture.
Anyway, I had to put the kibosh on the whole thing because...
When I said, you know, we can have our computers.
We can have a computer.
You know, she brings her photo equipment.
I bring...
By that time, my podcaster mini studio will be done.
So, you know, a very small footprint.
A ham radio antenna.
And then she's like, well, what about the closet?
I'm like, okay.
I need a big closet with lots of shoes.
No, she has a problem with the shoes.
She has, like, size 12 or something, so the shoes don't come.
They don't make Manalo Blahniks in size 12.
Thank God!
Oh, yeah, you'd be broke.
Yeah!
Oh, yeah, yeah.
So we don't have...
All right, let's finish this off.
David Kroll in Hamilton, Ohio, 55, double-ingles on the dime.
Benjamin Ritgers in Ames, Iowa, double-ingles on the dime.
Angela Castaneda.
And Castaneda in Henderson, Nevada.
Great place.
Double that goes on the dime.
Graham Wolfe, Wichita, Kansas.
Same.
Matthew Farrell, Leland, North Carolina.
5420.
Jordan Alcon in Crossroads, Texas.
Crossroads would be good.
5150.
And do you have a birthday shout out for his smoking hot wife, Rachel?
Yes, I do.
And thank you for the picture, by the way.
Oh, I never saw anything.
Yeah, I did.
Angeli Coangelo in Mount Laurel, Jersey.
I forwarded it to you.
Maciej Stolowski.
Maciej, Maciej, Maciej, Maciej.
That could work.
What can I say?
Calgary, Alberta, where all the money is.
Eric Veet to Dublin, California.
Tim Connor in Edmonton, Alberta, almost where all the money is.
Kyle Bauer, Worcester, Ohio, apparently came in twice, and that'll conclude our segment where we mention every contributor who gave us $50 or more for the show, 515.
I want to thank them all and remind people to go to Dvorak.org slash na, channeldvorak.com slash na, noagendashow.com and noagendanation.com, and there are donate buttons there, and we need your help because Sunday always comes up, except once in a while.
Sunday tends to be pretty lame, and you can get a producer ship probably for $200.
And, um, we haven't had any nightings, I think, for the past five, six, maybe seven shows?
Yeah, we need more nights.
Yeah, we do.
Um, so let me, uh, program the brain.
Dvorak.org slash N-A. I'm going to make good here.
Simon Bruce Cassidy, uh, says, Hey, man.
So I'd like to point out a few things.
I've donated twice.
First time you claim that Drummond is in the lowlands...
I was confused with Drachten, of course.
Last time you said that German donations are on the rise, implying that Drommen is in Germany.
Drommen is, in fact, in Norway, a.k.a.
Gitmo Nation Polar Bearer.
So screw those Germans.
Yeah, screw them.
We were wrong.
Also, so that's just funny, but I feel really bad.
I asked for a birthday shout-out from my daughter, Angelica, that you left out.
I was kind of bummed out about that as we listened to the show together from time to time.
You are an integral part of my bid to teach her to speak English.
In case PayPal fuked up the note, she turned 6 on the 14th of May.
Well, happy birthday, Angelica.
Yalskodai!
There you go.
What?
You said that with an Australian accent.
No, I did not.
I said it with a Norwegian accent.
Actually, it was probably more Swedish, to be quite honest.
And so sorry about messing that up.
I hate it when the kids get all disappointed because kids, let's face it, kids love our show.
And they love it for the jingles.
And we have an interesting list today.
First of all, Sir Gene Baron de Marriott, Sheriff of Texas, will be celebrating this Memorial Day.
Happy birthday to him.
Richard Dick Wagner celebrated yesterday on the 22nd of May, born in 1813.
He is the originator of Le Bishvat.
And Georgian Alcon says happy birthday to his smoking hot wife, Rachel.
She turns 30 today.
Eric Newman congratulates himself.
He'll be celebrating tomorrow.
Merit de Vala...
We'll turn four on...
Well, today, actually.
And that's her dad, Michels.
Happy birthday to you.
Sir Rod Adams, Knight of the No Agenda Roundtable, has a new grand human resource.
James Rodney Middlebrook, born, I guess, last night.
So we're actually early this morning.
And we welcome James Rodney Middlebrook to the...
Shitisonry of the United States of Gitmo Nation.
You can start depleting your $9.2 million and enjoy that.
And did we get everybody here?
We got Rachel and...
Rachel from Jordan.
My God.
And Bill.
And Bill.
Hey, happy birth to everybody from your buddies here at the Best Podcast in the Universe.
Hey!
My wife's Rachel's birthday is on Thursday the 23rd.
She's turning shout-out.
Something's wrong here.
I'm turning 30.
She's been bugging.
Oh, here it is.
My wife Rachel's birthday is on Thursday the 23rd.
She's turning 30.
She's been bugging me for a month to make sure she gets a birthday shout-out.
This is just the beginning of the end.
All right.
So husband Jordan, soon-to-be ex-husband Jordan, that's how it goes.
Of course, if you're all in Dallas, you're invited to a party.
Well, we're not.
Oh, kegs of beer and some home-pulled pork.
My smoked meat is amazing.
Yeah, Jordan, keep saying that.
And I want to thank...
I would like to challenge him to a smoke-off.
Oh, mmm.
I'd like to thank Dublin Jerky for sending...
Did you get any jerky?
Yeah, I got some Dublin Jerky.
Have you tried it?
Yeah, it's very good.
We also got some Dublin cheese.
I didn't get no Dublin cheese.
Well, you know, it's a cheddar.
It's a cheddar.
I don't care.
How come I didn't get the cheese?
Well, you can ask him.
I don't know.
Maybe he thinks you're cheesy enough.
So the cheese came into this huge block, and it's a pretty common, like a normal, like a Wisconsin-Michigan cheese.
And it came into this nice sealed box.
And I decided to take one of the blocks, and I'm going to keep it in the car, in a cooler.
And then when I see some guy that's homeless, it says, hungry for food.
You're going to give him some cheese?
Yes.
Why won't you just eat the cheese?
I got the cheese.
I ate the cheese.
I've been eating the cheese, but I got this extra block.
It's my block that you're giving away.
So what?
I can't ship it to you.
You don't melt and make a mess by the time it gets to your place.
Hey, and happy birthday.
My God, she's young.
To Molly Kristen Wood.
Oh, she has a birthday?
Yes, today.
She doesn't listen to our show?
No, but she's a friend of the show.
She is?
Yeah, she's a friend of the show.
Hey, could we change my picture on Wikipedia, people?
Molly's picture on Wikipedia is...
Yeah, put Molly's picture in place of Adam's picture.
Please.
I look so much better as Molly.
She looks hot in this picture.
Holy crap.
Look at it.
You're not looking at it.
I'm not looking at it.
I'm sitting back and listening to you.
Okay, let me look it up.
She used to be a writer for Associated Press.
Hollywood Wiki.
Yeah, look at the picture.
Let's see.
Uh-huh.
I'm getting there.
Is the one on the Wikipedia or the other one?
I think the other one's better looking.
Which is the other one?
The one that shows up as just a bio picture on the Google.
Look at that.
She was born May 23rd.
That's today.
So it's her birthday.
Yes.
How come Conan O'Brien shows up in an image search for Molly Wood?
Let's find out.
That's kind of scary.
I think it's just...
Maybe she did a show once.
Is that possible?
No.
Came out with some gizmos.
Hey, look at this.
Oh, that's so cool.
Then he drops it on the floor, kicks it around.
That's a great...
Well, that's her whole show now.
She's got that always-on show where it's basically Molly going to exotic locations and throwing gadgets out of helicopters, driving over them with sports cars.
I mean, this is the kind of shit we used to do at MTV. Yeah.
I love doing this.
Hey, I got a great idea for a show.
Let's go to Hawaii and drop the iPad from the helicopter.
See if it survives.
Yeah, this is an old style of...
Of show.
Of show, which is just a complete waste of money.
But you have a great time if you're on the show.
Don't do that.
The only people that benefit from this style is the people on the show and the producers.
Don't be mean to her.
This is her show.
I'm not mean to her.
She's having the time of her life.
I'm just saying this is not a, this is, you know, a bogative way of producing stuff.
Let's go to the Seychelles and put some laptops on the beach and see what happens if the water hits them.
Come on.
Come on.
It's a great show.
It's a great show.
It's fantastic.
I love this concept.
Hey, look at us.
We're two schmucks doing a podcast.
From our houses.
From our homes.
How is the weather there in Texas, by the way?
It's been warm.
It's gotten into the 90s, which is still unseasonably cool.
Yeah, it's up there.
And, you know, of course...
Now you've got allergies, you said.
It's constant here for me.
Why?
Because we live under trees.
We've got these...
I mean, we're in the oldest section of Austin.
We have these oak trees.
Four times a year, the live oak trees just spew off stuff.
You know, and then it's yellow crap, and then it's just...
It just gets into everything.
It's beautiful, though.
I mean, these oak trees are hundreds of years old.
Well, can I recommend something when you finally get a barbecue?
I'm not going to get a barbecue.
I don't do barbecues anymore.
Why?
Because that oak tree is probably delicious.
What, to eat it?
Yeah, no, you smoke with it.
I mean, you have to trim the branches anyway, so you cut off pieces of the oak tree as it grows.
Oh, good idea.
And then you use the oak wood.
You have to let it sit for about six months, almost a year.
Oh, so I'll start now, yeah.
Yeah, start now.
Start piling up oak chunks.
And then you cook with it.
And you don't have to buy any brick hats.
It's a much better product than a brick hat.
Right.
And it tastes a lot better.
And everybody's oak tree.
Like, I have an oak tree that I've been eating, as it were.
Smoke-wise, I've been eating the smoke.
Just write that down.
Next to the house.
That is absolutely delicious.
It's maybe the best oak I've ever eaten.
So, speaking of throwing things out of a helicopter, did you see that two members of the FBI's elite counter-terrorism unit who were in Boston as a part of the search mission for the Boston bombers died?
What?
Yes, they were rappelling from a helicopter and they fell to their death into the water.
What were they rappelling from a helicopter over the water for?
Training.
Oh, training.
The old training accident.
But apparently they were rappelling from such a great height that they were dead when they hit the water.
Yeah, I'll bet.
Yeah.
So not only do they have to clean those two guys up, but then we have this other loose end in Florida.
A Chechen man with ties to Boston Marathon bombing suspect Tamlin Sarnayev was shot and killed by an FBI agent in Orlando, Florida early today.
The man allegedly attacked the agent according to the FBI. Oh, hold on a second.
Breaking news!
Breaking news!
Hold on.
What's going on?
Breaking news.
Closely resembles the types of attacks we faced before 9-11.
In the 1980s, we lost Americans to terrorism at our embassy in Beirut.
Oh, you're boring me.
All right.
Danger to U.S. interests.
I guess that's the new thing?
Yeah.
He says consular facilities, everything's in danger.
Deranged or alienated people can do enormous danger.
The domestic terror threat.
Oh, wow!
Right now, there's a podcast going on with two deranged lunatics.
Clearly, they have brain disease.
Now I'm not going to sit here and say that everyone has brain disease, but we can help them with electroshock therapy.
A couple of jolts will fix them boys up good.
So this news comes out, and Anderson Pooper, who of course is on the scene in Oklahoma, even he can't believe it.
And was he alone with an FBI agent when he was shot, or were there multiple...
You said there were state police also in the room?
He's like, wait a minute.
So the cops got this guy, he confesses, and then he grabs a knife...
It makes nothing but sense.
Still unclear how many people were in the room at the time, but we are told that after he had confessed to being involved in the triple murder, that he attacked, according to our sources, attacked an FBI agent with a knife.
So here's how I've envisioned this testimony.
It's like...
Yes, yes, don't you remember?
You guys were there with me.
Don't you remember that?
When we killed those drug dealers and the smokers and then we slit their throats and we threw weed on them as a sign to the other gangs?
Don't you remember?
Yeah, okay, yeah, yeah, we remember that one for sure.
Sorry, pal, you shouldn't have pretended to grab the knife.
And so it is unclear how many people were in the room.
It's unclear whether that knife has been recovered.
Presumably it was.
But whenever there is an FBI-involved shooting, the FBI agent then shot, allegedly, this man because I am told that he felt directly threatened, that his life was threatened.
Yeah, okay.
So, let me just get this straight.
Very similar to...
Let me just draw the analogies for you, okay?
A couple things going on.
So, when we have Bin Laden, which, by the way, I have the clip here, you know, the appeals court has said, nope, we're not going to release any pictures of him, of anything.
We can't do that.
So, then we have the Jokar brothers, the Sarnoff brothers, and And even the governor of the state of Massachusetts has not seen the actual video.
We've seen video from every angle.
We have not seen the actual video of the brothers putting the explosive backpacks into the trash can.
Everyone says it exists.
But we're sure it exists.
We're sure it exists.
But we have not been allowed to see it.
I guess that also would spark, you know, like people would want to kill Americans for doing that.
And in the case of bin Laden, we had a whole Chinook helicopter full of SEAL special troops, special ops troops, Who were killed.
Who were in that same operation.
Now we have another one of these mysterious things where there's no video.
We can't show you the video.
And then two of the guys who were involved in the search die, rappelling out of a helicopter.
And then a third guy.
It's just a coincidence.
I mean, and I'm the crazy one.
Yeah, you're nuts, man.
And so we do have this one little clip we want to play, which was the report that we kind of missed in the last show of the Joker guy in the boat.
And apparently it just came out later.
While he was there, he wrote some sort of like a confession or something or other in the boat inside of a plastic boat.
Which means he must say he had a sharpie because you can't ride on a boat.
I know you've been in any of these little boats, right?
They're made out of this fiberglass.
You can't put anything on there.
And here's the way the report comes down from Democracy Now.
And CBS News is reporting Boston Marathon bombing suspect Johar Tsarnaev left a note describing the attack as a response to the U.S. wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.
Tsarnaev reportedly scrawled the note on the inside wall of a boat in the Boston area driveway where he was found hiding from police days after the attack.
In the message, he reportedly referred to the victims of the bombing as collateral damage, writing, quote, when you attack one Muslim, you attack all Muslims.
That's really interesting because this is the exact same strategy of tension narrative that has just been shown to us on the streets of London.
When you attract one Muslim, you attack all of us.
Now we have this...
Did you see all this bull crap?
This Somali guy who's walking around with a kitchen knife?
There's a...
Apparently...
Someone's head has been chopped off in the street, yet there's not a drop of blood.
Not a drop of blood anywhere.
People claiming to have gone over and felt for a pulse...
Yeah, okay, look.
If there's a guy in the street with his head chopped off...
What's the point?
You are lying to me, okay?
You are lying.
But this is tension, is what it is.
You make people crazy.
I can't wait to see what the president is talking about.
He is not talking about plots in Denmark, Germany, UK, US. He's talking about special forces team.
Are we collectively this stupid that we're now going to fall for this one?
So what do they have to do?
They have to light something off again to prove it?
Well...
No, no, no, don't say it.
What do you got?
It's the sixth week.
Is it that time?
Yeah.
Jeez.
They make me so tired with this.
So tired.
It doesn't seem to wear out the public.
They lap it up.
Mmm, good.
They're lapping it up.
So we had a situation with the Oklahoma bombing, and we had one of my favorites.
I have to say, I don't want to play the whole thing, but I guess we could.
We have Brolf interviewing some poor mom, and then for some reason at the end of this little interview, which is stupid, he asked her, did you thank the Lord for being saved from the tornado?
Yes.
And she didn't say anything.
And then he asks her again.
He starts badgering her.
What is the point of this?
I'm sorry.
I don't know.
Play this and tell me what you think.
You got this from Media Research Center TV. Yeah.
Are we in the same sources?
Is that where you get clips from?
No, rarely.
Most of my clips come off the television.
Could you at least clip off the obvious place?
I thought I did.
I don't know.
He talks a lot, but he's pretty shy right now.
He's preoccupied.
He just needs something to...
Yeah, I think he's a happy little guy.
Yeah.
And you're a happy young lady.
I couldn't be happier.
You survived the...
I saw the bathtub.
I mean, when you think about it, if you would have stayed in that house...
No.
There's no way.
Our bathtub was full of debris.
The place I would have been was just full of 2x4s and everything else.
There's nothing.
There's no way.
And that's hard to think about.
Anders, I'm going to train you now to become an anchorman, okay?
Try to pry it from him.
You've got to hold it like this, you put it in front of your mouth, and look at the camera.
Wait, what is he doing?
What are we putting in our mouth?
He's got a little three-year-old that she's holding, and he's trying to get the kid to say something to the mic.
Can you say hi?
I'm Anders, and this is Sienna.
Can you say that?
Can you say, how old are you?
No, he's not going to say anything.
Can you say bye-bye?
Bye-bye.
He's a shy little guy.
Not today.
You're a scaring, you're a frightening dude, bro.
You said it.
Okay, good.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Shake hands.
Can you high-five?
Yeah.
I have to stop here.
This is something that bugs the shit out of me.
Parents who teach their kids to high-five...
Have you noticed this disturbing trend?
Oh, now that you mention it, I didn't, yeah.
It's annoying.
Stop.
It's not okay.
It's like, it's really annoying.
Stop it.
It's wrong.
It's just wrong.
High five.
High five.
Can you high five?
How about teaching a kid math?
Yeah.
Or how to shake your hand, look him in the eye, and say, nice to meet you, bro.
That's what you want to teach your kid.
Not to high five.
It's not cute.
It's not a dog.
No.
No?
Okay.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Yeah, yeah.
Such a sweet little guy.
Yeah.
Well, you're blessed.
Brian, your husband is blessed.
Anders is blessed.
Brian, he just...
Brian!
Yeah, Brian.
You like Brian, huh?
That's your dad.
Well, we're happy you're here.
You guys did a great job.
And I guess you've got to thank the Lord, right?
Yeah.
Do you thank the Lord for that split-second decision?
I'm actually an atheist.
Oh, you are.
But you made the right call.
Yeah, yeah.
We are here.
And, you know, I don't blame anybody for thanking the Lord.
Of course not.
Dr.
Fauci, thanks so much, as always, for joining us.
Good to be here, Bruce.
That's good.
Yeah.
So, what was that all about?
I think he's sick or something.
What would I say?
Did you thank the Lord?
What was that all about?
Brain disease.
Well, because, you know, I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
Anyway, I thought it was.
And somebody sent me that clip, so that's why I had it.
Oh, okay.
Next time I will be careful.
Can I play some random crap on you?
Yeah, sure.
This is something we missed.
Carl Bernstein, you familiar with his work?
Of course.
Okay, who is Carl Bernstein?
Carl Bernstein's the other half of Woodward, but he's not the CIA half.
He's actually just a work-a-day guy that has to, as far as I know, go out and get his own material.
Would you consider him to be a reliable source of information?
I would depend on the material, and I'd have to look into it.
Generally, I would think so.
So we missed something.
When he was on the Morning Joe show, the day that everyone was in Texas for the George W. Bush Museum thing?
Yeah.
And here's what he said.
An insane war that brought us low economically, morally.
He's talking about Iraq.
War against a guy who had absolutely nothing to do with 9-11.
It was a total pretext.
It's inexplicable.
And there you go to Cheney, there you go to Bush, there you go to the Jewish neocons who wanted to remake the world.
Maybe I can say that because I'm Jewish and to bring about a certain result.
How about that?
He says there's a pretext from Jewish neocons for 9-11's response to the invasion in Iraq.
Yeah.
Wow.
He's talking about Wolfowitz and those guys.
So?
Well, I always thought they were thought of as Jewish neocons or former communists.
You can't say that on television.
You can't, you're Jewish.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Okay.
I'm not really sure that you can.
Go ahead.
It'd be much worse if a Southern Baptist said that.
But I think...
And then, of course, Morning Joe goes into this whole defense of the Bush regime.
So that's one.
Then there's this other one.
So Matt Damon started with this water.org.
Oh yeah, the water thing.
Have you looked at this water.org thing?
Yeah, I've looked at it.
And well, did you notice anything?
Well, I haven't looked at it for a while, so I'm going to go look at it again.
Just go to the board of directors, which is our favorite...
It'll be the usual suspects, I'm sure.
...from Merck, and it's like a whole bunch of pharmaceutical guys, and oh, there's Bono, and there's...
Oh, yeah, Bono's on the front page.
...and Richard Branson, and Olivia Wilde, and Matt Damon.
So in order to get some kind of traction, since Bono by himself is just annoying at this point, no one cares what he has to say anymore...
Matt Damon came up with this, haha, hilarious, I'm not going to go to the bathroom anymore until everybody has water.
And so now they have a follow-up.
Now, but this follow-up clip is extremely disturbing.
Now, remember...
What we say is if you want to hide something, hide it in plain sight.
Everybody has access to clean water and sanitation.
I will not go to the bathroom.
The toilet strike is important, alright?
Who's with me?
We're supporting Matt Damon's toilet strike.
I'm with you, Matt.
We won't go to the bathroom.
Until everyone in the world has access to...
Okay, so we get the joke, very funny, we're not going to go poop, we're not going to pee-pee, because that's a funny way to get attention.
But then...
Clean water.
And sanitation.
Millions of people spend hours each day just fetching clean water.
Women can't have a living.
Girls can't go to school.
Yeah, I remember when Matt first brought up the idea.
It was at a meeting of the Illuminati.
Bono was so mad.
Oi, Damon!
Who let you into our secret Illuminati meeting?
Then Bono started beating Matt with a two-by-four.
I mean, it's embarrassing.
I'm a pacifist.
No, I get it.
We're the Illuminati.
We have to be picky.
I only got in because I'm an android from the future.
After we tranquilized Bono...
Matt told us about the worldwide water and sanitation crisis.
780 million people, that's one in nine, lacks access to safe water.
Wow, Bono, know any more statistics?
Yeah, how do you say nerd in Irish?
Wanker.
So I said, Matt, don't lecture us about philanthropy.
I sense great anger.
I devote every waking eye to it.
Olivia founded a school in Haiti.
I'm proud of that.
And Bono is freaking Bono, whereas Matt Damon is...
What's the word?
Wanker.
Wanker.
Wanker!
Join the millions of famous people who've already joined my strike.
Because this is one conspiracy we can all agree on.
And remember, if you don't use the toilet...
You're a celebrity.
But Matt, you better not sneak it to our clubhouse again.
Richard, let it go.
Let's get Damon.
Come on, Votto.
Where's my two by four?
Matt, run.
Support Matt's strike.
Go to strikewithme.org.
Illuminati, assemble!
I just want to have it on the record that we played it.
What a weird thing to produce.
Yeah.
It has a certain kind of a patronizing arrogance to the whole thing, too.
It's not funny.
Let's start with that.
Number one, it's not funny.
Not funny.
It's patronizing as hell.
It's really bad.
And it's put offish.
If nothing else, it's like, who do these people think they are?
He's Bono.
Well, you've always been a...
I hate that guy.
Yeah.
No, because he's an insincere a-hole.
I've interviewed him.
Well, that's insincerity.
It's part of the...
Maybe they'll lock him up.
Oh, it's part of the brain disease.
Okay.
So, yes.
We have this issue.
A federal appeals court today refused to order the release of photos and video of Osama bin Laden from the US raid that killed him in 2011.
The Obama administration argued the images could reveal intelligence methods and trigger violence against Americans.
Today, a three-judge panel in Washington agreed.
It rejected a bid by the conservative watchdog group Judicial Defense to make the pictures public.
I read the defense.
Did you hear the little gotcha in there?
Oh, crap.
What did I miss?
It reveals intelligence techniques.
Oh, yes.
No, I did hear that.
Yeah.
What does that mean?
Did they cut open his skull and pull his brain out and poke at him?
Or what were the techniques?
Were there little red marks where they gave him electroshock therapy?
Was there a needle mark?
Or were his eyeballs missing?
I mean, what was the technique?
I don't know.
But I think it's offensive that we're not allowed to...
So they're saying...
It's like we have...
Our war machine is on every corner of the earth.
And we can have drones flying over and killing people.
We have apparently video of hundreds of women and children being slaughtered.
We have a movie of this Bin Laden thing, which gets nominated for awards, yet we can't show the actual pictures, which would be kind of proof, even if they doctored it, it would be proof.
Because that would make the men and women around the world unsafe.
It makes no sense.
And it's insulting.
Well, we're stuck with it.
No, I understand, but I can't gloss over this stuff.
I just can't.
I refuse.
And then there's, oh, man...
This, you know, we've been tracking this bullying stuff for a long time, actually.
Yes.
Now the department of...
Since the beginning.
Yes.
And we've associated with the attack on freedom of speech.
Right.
And where would you actually want freedom of speech to be really, really, really guaranteed?
Right.
What is a really important place for freedom of speech to just be out there no matter what?
I think schools and school environment would be good.
Oh, yeah, that would be good.
Colleges.
Department of Justice and Department of Education are now saying to colleges, you need to adhere to the following rules or you may have your federal funding cut off.
University of Montana received a letter that explicitly states that it is intended as a blueprint for colleges and universities throughout the country.
Departments of Just and Education have mandated a breathtakingly broad definition of sexual harassment.
So here are the things that are no longer permitted if you want to keep your funding for your university.
Unwelcome or sexual jokes.
Unwelcome, by the way.
Spreading unwelcome sexual rumors without any limitation to false rumors.
Engaging in unwelcome circulating or showing emails of websites of a sexual nature.
Engaging in unwelcome display or distribution of sexually explicit drawings, pictures, or written materials like Fifty Shades of Grey, I guess.
Making unwelcome sexual invitations, which is what you do at college.
Hello?
Hey, baby.
You want to get laid?
So this term of unwelcome is a problem.
It's a real problem.
And so the document is like 31 pages.
It's this huge document of what you can do.
And they've got, of course, a legal justification for everything.
And they've got the legal standards.
I like to pretend I'm a lawyer.
But even this, I just don't have the time in the day to go cross-reference all of this stuff that's in here, what you have to go look at and what code and footnotes and title regulations, CFR16.A. So somehow, like most things we're seeing from the White House,
and this has been going on for a long time, of course, not this White House in particular, It's just, they come up with all these legal justifications just telling you to, you know, basically...
Shut up, slave!
Shut up!
Defining sexual harassment as a hostile environment.
But, you know, the idea of unwelcome.
You know, this is going too far, John.
And this is directly related to the bullying that we've been talking about.
Yeah, it's freedom of speech issue.
Welcome or not welcome, who cares?
You can say what you want.
You should be able to.
Well, but now they're just saying, oh, well, it's just going to come down to money.
Meanwhile, at the Department of Justice...
All managers.
So, you know, obviously you can't discriminate against LGBT citizens.
Which, by the way, I feel discriminated against because I feel that, you know, there's lesbian, there's gay, there's bisexual, there's transgendered.
But I feel a discriminated group is the bicurious group.
Which is, it is a category on Craigslist.
It is a category.
We are a category.
By curious, it's like maybe I want to become a full-fledged B or maybe G or L. I wouldn't be an L, but a B or a G. You could be an L. I am an L. There is the male lesbian movement.
Well, but I'm still developing myself.
I'm in a very critical phase.
But I don't have the same rights as my gay and lesbian and bisexual brothers and sisters.
I am discriminated against.
Anyway, at the Department of Justice, there is now some do's and don'ts that have been handed out to the managers.
Things they should do and things they should not or don't.
And I'd like to share some of those with you.
I think don't is very negative.
Yeah, that's exactly what it is.
Do assume that LGBT employees and their allies are listening to what you're saying and will read what you're writing.
Do talk in staff meetings about why diversity is important to you as a manager and make it clear you define diversity to include both sexual orientation and gender identity.
Do provide explicit verbal reassurance that advancement and development opportunities are based strictly on merit.
And Regardless of personal beliefs, every manager should be a vocal advocate for LGBT. I get the exact verbiage.
Hold on.
I've got to go to this page.
I didn't save it.
My browser's stuck.
Please.
So why would you have to be a vocal advocate of LGBT and not be, let's say, a vocal advocate of Mormonism or a vocal advocate of Satanism or a vocal advocate of pedophilia, for that matter, or a vocal advocate of any number of things?
Why do you have to be a vocal advocate of anything if you're not going to be a vocal advocate of everything?
Well, let's go back to our dinner table conversation in 1938.
Yeah, it's all training.
We better do something fun, something nice here.
Can we do something?
Let's talk about something nice.
What a vocal advocate of surfing.
Well, I would say the good news is the BBC reports...
Scientists say the recent downturn in the rate of global warming will lead to lower temperature rises in the short term, John.
Oh!
This is good news.
The sunspots are having their effect.
Since 1998, there's been an unexplained standstill in the heating of the Earth's atmosphere.
Writing in Nature Geoscience, researchers say this will reduce predicted warming in the coming decades.
However long term, the expected temperature rises will not alter significantly.
So this is very good news.
We're not going to die anytime soon.
Oh, there you go.
Isn't that a coincidence?
So we have this piece that I actually tweeted about, which is a really nice piece from Newsweek, April 28th, 1975, discussing the cooling world!
Yeah.
guy, Reed Bryson, who died in 2008, University of Chicago climatologist, who was one of the leaders.
And then he kind of gave up on it, of the global cooling thing.
But there's still a bunch of guys in the cooling movement that are still saying cooling, but they're not.
They're being shouted down by the warmest because the warmest are, they see a better opportunity for making money because of this cap and trade thing.
So let me read a couple of this.
This is a very small piece about Reed in the Wikipedia.
He goes on about, in later years, it was clear that climate was indeed warming.
Bryson argued that while climate change and a global increase in temperature are real, he did not believe they're caused by any human activity.
Rather, he argued they're part of a natural global climate of cycles, particularly at the end of the Little Ice Age.
Quote, all this argument is the temperature going up or not is absurd, Bryson says.
Of course it's going up.
It's been going up since the early 1800s.
1800s before the Industrial Revolution because we're coming out of a little ice age.
Not because we're putting more carbon dioxide into the air.
And then he died shortly thereafter.
Hmm.
That's almost funny, John.
And then he died.
Oh, well.
Oh, well.
Just another skeptic.
So let me give you the latest, then.
Here's another little commercial for you from the elites, from New World Order Productions.
Al Gore, he has the climate reality thing that he would produce, you know, climate reality day or whatever.
You know about this?
Hello?
Well, there you go.
You mock with the elites and you get cut off.
Where are ya?
Did I lose my connection?
No, I'm still here.
Aww.
Let me go to Webmaster Tools over there at Microsoft.
Hello, Webmaster Tools.
I need my experience back.
Can you please make my experience come back, Skype?
What does it say here?
There's a problem with this call.
Hold on while we try to get the call back.
That's what you get.
It's your own fault.
I was just answering the Skype questionnaire.
Oh, I believe there was an internet connection problem on my end.
Oh, okay.
Because I was already talking about a bad experience.
Oh, well, it was if it hung up on you, but I think you can relay that.
We got a bad experience.
All right.
Back.
Back.
So, climate reality, this is the latest to prepare us for, of course, what is coming is a carbon tax, which has already been implemented for our good friends there in Australia.
Yes, even though the gullard there said she would never do that ever.
Ever.
Here is the setup, and it's a beautiful little cartoon.
The audio will suffice.
Your wallet.
Your bank account.
You keep a close eye on them.
You pay for your groceries.
You pay for your car.
You pay for your stuff.
You pay for your roads.
Your schools.
The things we all share.
You know what else you're paying for?
Carbon pollution.
Oh yes, you're paying for carbon.
Science tells us carbon pollution is the leading cause of climate disruption.
The burning of dirty energy is raising our planet's temperatures, which makes extreme and erratic weather more likely.
The result?
You've been living in it.
2012 was the hottest year in the United States since weather scientists started keeping records.
And half of all U.S. counties were declared disaster zones due to last summer's crippling drought.
And because of the droughts, wildfires scorched one and a half times more land than usual.
On the East Coast, crazy storms have led to record-breaking flooding.
We've always had extreme weather, but now, thanks to carbon pollution, we have weather on steroids.
And we're paying for it.
Congress has agreed on more than $50 billion in relief for the victims of Superstorm Sandy.
The costliest global disasters of 2012 were Hurricane Sandy, cost $65 billion.
And the year-long Midwest Plains drought that cost us $35 billion.
No way.
Drought relief, disaster relief, battling wildfires, building seawalls.
All these expenses add up.
And that's the price of carbon.
But big oil isn't paying.
And big coal isn't paying.
They are using the atmosphere as an open sewer while you are paying the tab.
Through taxes, medical bills, higher food prices, insurance rates, and more.
But no wallet in the world is big enough.
It's time to take action.
It's time to tell the world.
We are paying the price of carbon.
It's time to put a price on carbon.
And make the polluters stop the carbon destruction.
Tell your friends.
Tell our leaders.
It's time to have the carbon conversation.
The carbon conversation, John.
A couple of good ones in there.
Weather on steroids?
Weather on steroids is good.
Also, I like the change of the moniker to climate disruption.
Uh-huh.
Very good, yeah.
That was very good.
I like that.
Uh-huh.
And I like the visual, and I'm sure they showed some smoking stacks, which hasn't happened for 25 years, but that's another story.
Air as an open sewer.
Yeah.
I thought that was a very good image, good imagery.
And I want you to write this down.
It's not a prediction, but write it down in the book.
May 23rd, 2013, the day the police state was finalized.
I am just reading the captions that's on CNN right now with our president.
He's lost his marbles.
What's he done?
I mean, he's doing a press conference.
This is going on.
I can't wait to watch all this.
Yeah, we'll be reporting on it on Sunday.
Oh, yeah.
We're going to have to dissect this in time.
And by the way, this is a holiday weekend, so we're probably going to have crap donations as usual.
Of course.
I hope people listen to this upcoming show.
But this is...
I mean, I've seen...
We need a media shield law reviewing the rules on leak probes.
We already know the media shield law is a fraud.
Yeah, he's talking about...
American terrorists, drones.
I think without even hearing what he's saying, he's lost his marbles.
He has gone out there and the police state.
I think this is the announcement of the police state.
I think this is it.
Okay.
Attorney General to meet with media groups to hear concerns.
Oh my God.
You may enter.
Now, what's your concerns?
Hey, people, remember one thing.
You know what I'm going to say, don't you, John?
Yeah.
What?
Love, it's the most powerful thing on the planet.
That's all I'm going to say.
Yeah, pretty good.
Just remember that because it is true.
No matter how bad it may seem, you're not alone.
You're in it here with us.
The minority is what is on television because people are not believing that crap anymore.
And we're your buddies.
We are the guardians of reality.
We, of course, have overactive organs.
And when I say organ, I'm talking about the amygdala.
Okay.
It's a little sensitive.
But because of that, we can help you.
Steer your own ship to the poop that is bestowed upon you, trying to bring you down and make you feel low, but you're not.
You're all beautiful human beings, and one day we will prevail!
So we take it to the mountaintop.
Stop me, John, please.
And don't stop peeing.
Just don't stop peeing.
It's not a good thing.
We'll be back on Sunday.
It is a holiday weekend here in the United States of Gitmo Nation, so please remember that it'll be a rough one for us, and we'll have tons of deconstruction about whatever has just taken place.
It never stops.
And that's the nature of the business.
Coming to you from Austin, Texas, capital of the Drone Star State.
In the morning, everybody, my name is Adam Curry.
And from northern Silicon Valley, I follow with my name, John C. Dvorak.
Talk to you again on Sunday right here on No Agenda.
The best podcast in the universe.
Love, it's the most powerful thing on the planet.
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