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April 7, 2013 - No Agenda
02:50:43
502: Nuevo Orden Mundial
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Bold and witty, bedroom, barroom, and smoker dipsy doodles.
Adam Curry, John C. Dvorak.
It's Sunday, April 7th, 2013.
Time for your Gitmo Nation Media Assassination Episode 502.
This is No Agenda.
No.
Acting as your inspiration in a sea of post-modern poop.
From the Travis Heights Hideout in Austin, Texas, in the morning, everybody, I'm Adam Curry.
And from northern Silicon Valley, where I think I got some of that poop on my foot, John C. DeVorex.
It's Crackbott and Buzzkill in the morning.
Ah, snappy!
Did you step in my poop, the post-modern poop?
Hold on.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hold on.
You are gone.
Where are you?
Hello?
Yeah.
Whoa.
I'm sorry.
You just seem to have dropped out there completely.
Completely?
Yeah.
It's all right.
You're back.
I do have a poop clip.
Well, let's kick it off with a poop clip.
What do you got for me, big boy?
There's two of them.
There's two dog clips on there.
Okay.
Yeah.
One is the dog smell everything.
I think it says something like that.
Dog's bad breath.
The other one.
Adorable.
Yeah, adorable.
Dogs are adorable.
But they lick everything.
So, uh, short and sweet.
Yeah, very good.
And you, uh...
Did you follow it up with a dog bad breath?
Dog bad breath is one of the major concerns of dog owners.
What show were you watching this weekend, John?
I believe this was from Australia, I think.
It may have been Canadian, but whatever the case is, it's the funniest commercial I've ever seen.
It's about, first it talks about dogs licking everything, and then they show dogs, first they start with, it's a great commercial, but it's too long, it's like an infomercial to play.
But so first they show a dog licking some woman who likes to be kissed and licked by her dog.
It's all over her face.
And so then they say, dogs lick everything.
And then they show the dog licking up poop, licking up eating a baby diaper.
Nice.
And then sniffing another dog and licking it.
By the way, I think every household who has had dogs and children has had the dog eating the diaper bit.
It's a classic.
It's an absolute classic.
It's like, honey.
And they also love eating cat poop.
This is why I can't have a dog anymore.
I've had so many pets in my life, but the relationship with the dog where I now have to take this animal outside, walk him, and pick up his poop, I can't have this relationship with animals.
This is not okay.
So anyway, this is selling a dog bad breath remedy, which is a...
Clearly a hit.
Yeah.
Well, with me, it's something a dog licks, but it's actually one of these tongue scrapers.
Because 90% of all bad breath is on the tongue.
Right.
Anyway, you see where the dog...
You're reminding me of that whole series.
All righty.
Well, then, let's...
Well, actually, first, happy birthday belated to you.
Well, happy birthday to you.
Yeah.
And happy birthday to all the ships at sea.
Feet in the air, subs in the water.
And happy birthday to all of the slaves and human resources in the chat room.
NoagendaStream.com, NoagendaChat.net.
And happy birthday to Aaron Yoho.
Aaron Yoho did our art on the previous episode of No Agenda.
And it's his birthday?
It's everybody's birthday.
We're celebrating with you, John.
Hey, you know, so let me see.
We're 10 minutes into the program.
Time to diss Bitcoin.
I mean, we can't start off a show without mentioning the current price of Bitcoin, $161.
It just keeps climbing.
Well, you know why?
You know what happened, why this took place?
And this is actually where I wanted to go with the opening for today, talking about our friends in Euroland.
We had the, what's his name?
Ollie Rain, who is the, what is he?
He is the Euro Commissioner for, let me see, Euro Commissioner for Finance and Monetary Affairs.
He said, I should really, I should get this, let me get the entire quote for you, because he said something Saturday which just made everyone crazy, and I'm actually quite surprised that EuroLand is in such a titter about it.
Here we go.
Headline from Reuters, EU's reign, big depositors could suffer in future bank bailouts under new law.
And here's the quote.
Of course, I don't have any video, unfortunately.
Cyprus was a special case, but the upcoming directive assumes that investors' and depositors' liability will be carried out in case of a bank restructuring or a wind-down.
Reign, the European Economic and Monetary Affairs Commissioner, said in a TV interview with Finland's national broadcaster, YLE. So, unfortunately, I couldn't get a copy in time for the show.
But I presume Reuters is quoting him properly.
But there is a very clear hierarchy, he says.
At first, the shareholders, then possibly the unprotected investments and deposits.
However, the limit of 100,000 euros is sacred.
Deposits smaller than that are always safe.
And so, of course, everyone in Euroland is like, what?
What?
How can that be?
What?
And I am so surprised.
Because I... Part of my...
Starting even...
Our conversations together, John, before we even started this show, happened after I read the Lisbon Treaty.
And this was ratified by all the countries in Europe.
I know the Netherlands and France said no, but then there was a do-over, and then everyone went, oh, okay, we'll sign it, whatever.
But do you think that they read it?
Of course not.
I mean, should we just review quickly why they shouldn't be surprised?
Yeah, might as well.
Nobody else is doing it.
No.
And this actually relates to the ratification as a part of the Lisbon Treaty of the European Convention on Human Rights and its Five Protocols.
So this is the law that you all signed on to, but to me it even goes much further because this is the European Convention on Human Rights.
I mean, this is it, John.
This is it, right?
The human rights, the rights you have as a human being and your five protocols.
So let me cite the relevant protocol, Article 1.
Every natural or legal person is entitled to the peaceful enjoyment of his possessions.
No one shall be deprived of his possessions except in the public interest and subject to the conditions provided for by law and by the general principles of international law.
The preceding provision shall not, however, in any way impair the right, there's a double down on this, of the state to enforce such laws as it deems necessary to control the use of property in accordance with the general interest, or to secure the payment of taxes or other contributions or penalties.
So, to me, I think, you know, you guys signed up for this.
And this is your human right.
Your human right is to have your money taken from you as needed.
In the public interest.
Yeah, as needed.
Could be, you know, some guy needs a new car.
Yeah.
Some one of the barrister, whatever they call his premier representatives.
High representative.
High representative might need, you know, a case of Margot.
Give me that.
Give me your money, slave.
You know, so I decided that maybe it would be a good idea just to review a few other basic human rights of the citizenry of the European Union.
What do you think?
Yeah.
Yeah, let's go over a few.
Okay.
Apparently the document right in front of you.
I do.
It's not that hard.
It's on the interwebs.
And, you know, it's been there for a while.
You could have downloaded it before you went along with it.
So let's take a look at Section 1, Article 2.
Everyone's right to life shall be protected by law.
Now, that would seem like a basic human right, don't you think, John?
Yeah, I would hope so.
Well, now, because in Section 2 it says, Deprivation of life shall not be regarded as inflicted in contravention of this article when it results from the use of force, which is no more than absolutely necessary in the following cases.
A. In defense of any person from unlawful violence.
So, let me just make it clear.
What they're saying here is, your life is protected by law.
You may not be killed by law.
This is what everyone in Europe thinks, that they have, you know, there's no death penalty.
Oh, we have the right to life.
Yes, as long as you're not engaged in unlawful violence, or B... In order to effect a lawful arrest or to prevent an escape of a person lawfully detained.
So, if the police grab you and you run away, they can shoot and kill you legally in Europe.
I mean, you can't even do that here, can you?
Well, you get into it, it becomes problematic, but you can kind of do it.
But it's not so blatantly written in our Constitution that says, go ahead and kill.
No, there's nothing like that.
And also, you can be legally killed in action lawfully taken for the purpose of quelling a riot or insurrection.
Yeah, yeah, that would make sense.
No, it doesn't.
These are human rights.
Human rights.
You have the right to life.
No one has the right to take your life away.
What, because you're an uppity slave?
Yeah, no, that's necessary, yeah.
Article 4.
Speaking of slavery, no one shall be held in slavery or servitude.
No one shall be required to perform forced or compulsory labor.
Now, for the purposes of this article, the term forced or compulsory labor shall not include any work required to be done in the ordinary course of detention.
So they can do the whole prison slave thing, too, apparently.
Oh, yeah, I'm sure they're doing it at some level.
We've perfected.
You start looking into that, and you go, oh, man, there's so much money to be made.
Let's just put everyone in prison.
Exactly.
Exactly.
Everyone has the right to liberty and security of person.
No one should be deprived of his liberty, save in the following cases and in accordance with a procedure prescribed by law.
So, of course, the lawful detention of a person after conviction by a competent court.
However, you can be deprived of your liberty under Section E, the lawful detention of persons for the prevention of the spreading of infectious diseases.
Ah, quarantine.
Of persons of unsound mind.
Oh, yeah.
Alcoholics.
Whoa!
Or drug addicts.
Or vagrants.
So if you're an alcoholic, you can be locked up under European human right law.
I'd forgotten how good this was.
And then they get to round up all the bums.
Yeah, yeah.
And throw them in jail.
Yeah, all the vagrants.
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
I can't get work.
The place is a mess.
My wife kicked me out of the house.
Yeah, to jail.
To jail.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
Everyone has the respect for his private and family life, his home, and his correspondence.
That seems like a basic human right, don't you think, John?
I think that's pretty fair.
Yeah, it's handled by the postal laws here in the United States, which of course they're trying to get rid of.
However, there shall be no interference by public authority with the exercise of this right, except...
Such as in accordance with the law and is necessary in a democratic society in the interest of national security, public safety, or the economic well-being of the country, for the prevention of disorder or crime, for the protection of health or morals, or for the protection of the rights and freedoms of others.
Well, what right is left?
Nothing.
So in other words, in fact, the morality clause, which it sounds like to me, that's the one where you send somebody a lewd message saying you might want to get together with them later after work.
Open it!
Who are those two?
This is the European Human Rights Convention.
Human rights!
You are lower than dog shit in Europe, according to your elite Uberlords.
I'll finish up.
Article 10.
I found the cinema enterprises to be quite interesting.
You have to be a licensed movie maker now?
Yeah.
Well, it says Enterprises, so I don't know if that's...
Yeah, it has to be a movie maker.
I don't know if that's for movie making or movie displaying.
Well, Enterprises would include both.
It's pretty cool, right?
Hey, where'd you get that Araflex?
Is that a licensed camera?
Article 15.
In time of war or other...
And by the way, hold on a second.
Go further with this.
Let's analyze this a little bit.
This could also include somebody taking a little movie with their camera phone.
You're not licensed.
That's right.
You're an unlicensed cinematographer.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You're making a cinema enterprise.
You're making a movie record, and you probably need a license now.
I mean, I can see them throwing the book out.
Easily.
Easily.
It's funny because when I first read this, I was also doing that Dutch show, the station that they burned to the ground.
Oh right, because you were on it?
Because I was on it?
They burned the show.
I think the station owner, we've never heard from him again.
He disappeared.
The gulag somewhere.
So we had one of the...
The audio is still out there probably.
One of the ministers, I had him on the show.
You're a member of Dutch Parliament.
And his name is Alexander Pechtold.
And he was on the show, and I said, hey, you know, I found this document, which is basically the European Convention on, you know, your human rights and the protocols, and I said, how come, you know, you can be killed if you run away from the cops?
And he said, I had never even heard of that.
I didn't know.
I said, well, you know, you guys all signed it, and you're, like, all okay with it.
And so he went.
They have this kind of, like, question time for the prime minister, and he asked the question.
He said, hey, Adam Curry was on the show with him today.
And he asked this question, and I couldn't answer him.
You know, how does this work?
Do we have freedom to live in Europe or not?
And the question was never answered.
No, there was no answer on the floor.
The prime minister didn't answer, like, yes, we'll take it into consideration.
And then the station burned to the ground.
Yeah, well, there you go.
In time of war or other public emergency threatening the life of the nation, any high-contracting party...
I love that term.
So the people who sign this document are high contracting parties.
Any high contracting party may take measures derogating from its obligations under this convention to the extent strictly required by the exigencies of the situation, provided that such measures are not inconsistent with its other obligations under international law.
I think that means if there's war, this document means nothing.
Sounds like it means nothing already.
And then we have the...
Again, I'll just repeat this one.
Every natural legal person is entitled to the peaceful enjoyment of his possessions.
No one shall be deprived of his possessions except in the public interest and subject to the conditions provided for by law and by the general principles of international law.
So there you have it.
So the next time Miss Mickey asks me, why are we living here again?
I shall whip out a copy of this.
Say, this is why.
At least we have laws that say you can't.
And this is basically a document that says, yeah, you can.
Whenever they feel like it.
Well, another reason you're living there is because apparently now Google is going to give you fiber.
You know, there's got to be a catch to this.
And I've looked it up.
I've looked at the terms of service.
It seems okay.
It seems like they don't do much more than the usual stuff Time Warner does.
This has not been confirmed by Google, but the Austin News is basically saying it's confirmed.
So we'll get gigabit fiber.
Gigabit fiber to the house.
So what should I do with it?
I think you should put a server farm up.
Hey, they're not giving away electricity here.
Although, I did have a...
I could do like a Raspberry Pi server farm.
Yeah, there you go.
Create your application, send it to me, and I'll host it.
We could certainly host the show.
I would hope.
But I think I would use it.
I would definitely have a backup.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, it's not free, though.
It's $70 a month.
So what?
I'm paying more than that for my Comcast connection.
Yeah, and if you want Google Fiber with television, yeah, because they give you the whole spectrum of TV in a TV box, and they give you a tablet, and all kinds of groovy stuff.
I think that's $120,000.
But it's funny, because people are actually congratulating me.
I'm getting tweets like, hey man, congratulations on your Google Fiber!
It's like, you won something.
What did I win?
I don't get it.
The opportunity to give Google money.
Yeah.
I don't know if it's such a good idea for Google to have such control of us.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah, no, I agree with that, in theory.
Well, at least Google's the company if the latest news, of course, is true at all.
It's fighting the national security letters, which we've talked about on the show quite a bit.
Yeah.
Okay, sure.
Well, here, the story is, of course, there was a little company called Credo Mobile.
And they got a national security letter, and you might as well explain what those are.
You can look them up on the Wikipedia.
But there's been 300,000 of these things issued, mostly by the FBI, even though most law enforcement agencies in Washington can list them.
You get a letter.
It says they want information that you have about someone else, usually.
But it could be about yourself, and who knows?
I mean, there's 300,000 of these letters, and who knows what half of them say.
You cannot tell anybody you got the national security letter or you'll be in prison.
You can't tell your attorney.
And you can't not do what they tell you to do.
This is totally unconstitutional and probably illegal in some fashion.
Well, I can't see how it's not illegal.
I can't see how it's not illegal.
It's quelling your freedom of speech.
That's numero uno.
So the local judge, apparently somebody had the nerve.
I think maybe this has been fought two or three times and gotten away with it.
So nobody's really been arrested for blowing the lid off this thing that we know of.
It could be a Gitmo.
Whatever the case is, some little company got irked about this.
I think it was Credo Mobile.
I mean, that's who it was, but I think it was because I don't think they could comply.
I think they were given a request.
They just couldn't do it.
They didn't have the right records or who knows what.
Right.
And then the guy, I'm sure they came back on him and said, you have to.
He says, so in the letter.
Well, we can't.
And so they finally, I guess, went to a judge.
And the judge threw the whole thing out and says that they must stop immediately.
And you know what that means, of course?
That means they won't stop at all.
Right.
And so then once this case went through, then Google, which apparently, I think Google, I wrote a column on this.
I think Google...
said, because they must be getting them all the time.
Right.
And they said, look, this is a pain in the ass.
And we're obviously the number one target for these things because we have the most information and we don't want to comply.
We think this is crazy.
We were just wasting our time and money.
We don't, you know, I don't think it's because they were thinking, oh, we're trying to protect the users.
I think it's because they said this is going to be just a nightmare over time.
We're going to be doing work for the government.
You know, I have a little different opinion.
First of all, Google is not like a single entity.
I mean, it's a huge...
You know how these companies get.
It's a huge, unwieldy beast, and there's all kinds of...
talk to each other and never see each other, have no idea.
It's not just the all-encompassing Google anymore.
Right.
And I'm pretty sure that, you know, I've been reading a lot about Google as they sell information to essentially anybody.
So if you are South Korea and you want information on anything that happened in any other country, including North Korea, if they have it, they'll sell it to you.
You know, they've been mining Gmail forever just for advertisers.
So, wait, wait.
Let me try to guess where you're going.
So, what you're saying is if the government wants this information, they can pay for it like any other customer.
Exactly.
That's what I think is the right way to go.
Well, I think that's a very valid analysis.
Yeah, and that's why they're all like, no, no, no, no.
This is not how it works.
We send you an invoice.
You know, you pay.
You get the info.
We do have a handy credit card portal.
Seriously.
You're probably right.
I still think, but whatever the case is, this is not any goodwill.
No, no, no, no.
They weren't fighting this for the protection of their customers.
Please, customers.
They're hamsters, you mean?
Hamsters running around keeping the engine running?
Yeah.
Stupid idiots.
And of course, I'm sucked into the Google Plus thing.
Because that's where all the ham radio operators are on there and the homebrew guys.
It's a simple way to share ideas, but you know that it's going to come and bite us all in the ass.
It's going to happen.
Well, I minimize my exposure.
I don't use Gmail.
No, no, of course.
I apparently show up on Google Plus once in a while.
Minimizing the exposure is the exact term.
You know, it's funny because this morning I tweeted this.
You know Shelly Palmer, right?
Yeah, a guy in New York.
Yeah, so Shelly Palmer is, I think he works for NBC, but he writes very, very high-level, dumb technology columns.
I've never met the guy.
I've met him.
I don't know if he still does stuff for Mevio.
No, I don't think so.
I'm sure he's a nice guy, but he's an idiot.
He's essentially an idiot.
What I would just offhandedly categorize as an idiot.
But somehow I'm on his mailing list, and sometimes it doesn't go through the spam filter.
I'm not quite sure why, but then it shows up in my inbox.
Today's was titled Facebook Reach...
Dada.
Do the numbers lie?
I'm like, okay, Shelley Palmer's figured out that Facebook is a scam.
I've got to read this.
And so it's a very long blog post, and he's discovered through his Facebook fan page that if he posts something with an image, then his reach is not as big as if it's just a text link.
And as I'm reading through it, I figure out Facebook has perfected the bozo filter.
And I think we need to remind everybody what the Bozo filter is.
You remember the Bozo filter?
Yeah, the Bozo filter, we used to use it at PC Magazine until I think they turned over the comments in the comments section, which is where it pays off.
It's exactly what it is.
Comment sections, bulletin boards, that's where it works.
Right.
Explain.
Well, what happens is that you're a user, Bill.
And you're a nuisance.
And you're on the comments thing.
And you're just constantly berating people.
You're just a jerk.
And they can't really bounce you.
And the idea is not to bounce you.
They take your IP address and your identification.
Usually you're logging details.
Yeah, your details are specific to you.
When you appear, the pages that you see are not the pages that everyone else sees.
You get to see what you think is what's going on, including your own comments.
But to everybody else, your comments are long gone.
They're not on there at all.
They never show.
They never show.
Exactly.
So you can type for days.
And then what's funny to watch the bozo filter at work is that, for one thing, the bozos who are filtered out very rarely realize this has happened.
But they do notice that nobody's ever responding anymore to what they say, no matter what they say.
And so then they start bitching about it.
I don't understand.
If someone would make this today, and by the way, Discus are idiots for not putting it into their system.
Every comment system should have this admin feature available.
I don't understand, because somehow we got into this...
This cult of moderating and deleting.
No, no, no.
What's great is you tag someone as a bozo, and when they go to that page and they see all the comments, they see their comment, but no one else sees their comment.
It is a beautiful system, and Facebook has now effectively taken that idea.
Now, they're doing it to charge people money to be de-bozoed, That's why they're doing it.
But man, I mean, anyone who has a commenting...
I would pay money for a commenting system like that to be able to put people in a bozo filter so they think that they're posting and no one's responding.
It's hilarious.
It is quite funny.
So how does the Facebook one work as a bozo filter?
Yeah, so Shelly Palmer thinks that...
This is a part of the news feed and all that.
He thinks just because it shows up That everyone else sees it.
But in effect, you know, we know that they're calling it filtering or whatever, but it's really a bozo filter.
You post something on Facebook, it shows up in your timeline.
You're like, okay, now everyone who's following me will see that.
But Facebook is just not showing it.
They selectively turn you into a bozo.
So this is more like a bozo extortion filter.
Well, if you pay $7 for a promoted post, then they turn the bozo filter off.
Wow.
See, I think it should be the other way around, but okay.
But that's their whole scam now.
And they give you these statistics.
John, some of these statistics that Facebook is using, it's hilarious.
Like, we could have made this up in one of our meetings.
Hold on.
So they have their reach.
They have statistics.
Reach, they've got what used to be called people who saw this.
Ha ha ha!
Now they call it reach.
They have organic reach, viral reach, insights.
These are all statistics.
These are all part of the engagement metrics.
Oh, God.
This thing is a house of cards.
Is that why people are on Facebook?
Yeah, this is a house of cards.
I mean, I think you're on Facebook so you could, you know, have a closed circle of friends that you could communicate with about what happened in the family last week.
So you don't have to send out those family newsletters.
No, because even then your family doesn't see it.
You're in the bozo filter for your family.
Anyway, let me see what other Twit news I can usurp before you go on the show today.
I'm not going on today.
Oh, good.
Okay.
Well, then you can assert anything.
I don't.
Yeah, true.
However, Michigan is in the Final Four, in the finals.
Oh, you've been keeping up.
Yeah.
I mean, the team can't shoot a free throw at all.
I mean, they should have lost that last game.
If they win the game against Louisville, which, of course, has the one good player broke his leg, the compound or whatever it is.
Yeah, we took care of him, didn't we?
The bone came out of his leg.
Yeah, we took care of that.
It was rolling around.
It was horrible.
CBS won't even play it, but what happened, for anyone who wants to know, the guy breaks, snaps his leg, the bone comes out of his leg and starts rolling around making a bloody trail all over the place.
Dogs come out.
One of them grabs the bone and it has to be fought with.
Okay, John.
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
This is not true.
I'm describing it because people will never get to see it because they won't show it.
Hey, um...
What does Wikipedia say is your age?
Wikipedia?
I don't know.
I've never looked at my own Wikipedia entry.
I have a reason for asking.
Hold on.
Dvorak Wikipedia.
Because I think you can make some money.
How can I make money?
I'm not going to make much on this show from the looks of today's foundation.
Here's how.
An actress suing Seattle-based website Internet Movie Database.
Okay, it says you were born April 5, 1952.
Your age is 60.
Heads to trial on Monday.
Hong Huang accuses IMBD of improperly revealing her age.
The 40-year-old claims she lost out on work opportunities because of Hollywood stigma against older actresses.
I'm telling you.
As an older actress, I think there's money in it for you.
You might be right.
I'm only really 57.
I'm telling you, this is stigma.
You can sue Jimmy Wales.
This is an outrage.
Yeah, you're right.
Let's thank our producer.
Yeah, we have a producer today.
I'm actually stunned that we have a producer.
Since this is my birthday show, everyone chimed in with nothing.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
It's Anatoly Necheyev.
Well, do you want to hear how you should...
Well, where's he from?
That's another good question.
I'll give it to you.
Here's the pronunciation.
Hello, my name is Anatoliy Nechaev.
I'm from Dzerzhynsk, Nizhgorodskaya oblast, Russia.
You said all that?
I didn't say the last part, but I think he covered it well.
Anyway, Anatoliy.
And he becomes a knight today.
He's a knight, yes.
Happy birthday, John.
Wikipedia says you're 61, but that's not true because I would...
It says you're 60.
No, no.
52 to 2013 is 61.
I am reading the Wikipedia page.
Go to the Wikipedia page.
Yeah, but it's not updated to my birthday, which was Thursday or...
Or Friday.
I understand.
But then, this isn't...
So, okay.
This is in the little box, right?
The little...
So, how lame is Wikipedia?
Yeah, they should have an algorithm for that.
Yeah, it's not a hard one.
It's a simple...
It's like one line of JavaScript.
I mean, they should be able to do that without having...
Oh, I've got to go in and change it by hand every year?
Yeah, so I'm going to change it right now.
Yes, 6'1".
Yeah, of course.
But you know that's because of this show.
Could someone please go in there and make his age 12?
Probably could, but someone would correct it.
Just for yucks.
It's all reassessed out and people change things.
Anyway, he thinks I'm 628, so I don't know.
No, I think it's 62 and the 8 is part of his emoticon.
Oh.
So this makes you 89 for not getting that.
What?
Oh, emoticon.
I didn't know the emoticon guy was wearing glasses.
Anyway, that's it.
Yeah, this is rather disappointing.
Not just for the show, but for love for you.
Yeah, no, I got...
Zero.
You got no love.
You got no love.
Oh, nobody cares.
And this made me think of...
I'll look at it.
We're going to see it later.
One, two, three people.
Yeah, that's it.
Yeah, pretty much.
So this kind of made me think momentarily that maybe there's kind of a new kind of business we can start.
Which we would use for ourselves primarily, but maybe other people would want to use the system.
I think we should have a is-it-worth-it Kickstarter.
Before we start the show, because I worked hard.
I went back and I got all of the files, the archives, my marked-up versions of the European Convention on Human Rights.
It's something that, I don't know, big news people who make a lot of money don't do.
Oh, you mean like, let's see, who makes...
Diane Sawyer, I think, makes $12 million a year?
Yeah, well, I don't know if he...
He's more an entertainment guy.
Diane Sawyer.
She makes some bank.
Okay, maybe I'm not as milfy as she is, but I could get drunk and go on camera.
Come on.
That would be entertaining.
I worked hard.
I worked a lot yesterday, last night, always working throughout the week.
And then when the spreadsheet comes in in the morning, and for some reason J.C. sent it early, which is always a bad sign.
When the spreadsheet shows up at 8 o'clock, I'm like, oh, okay, I'm afraid to open it.
And my heart sinks.
So either A, we suck, and no one liked the last show.
Maybe the last show was no good.
It's possible.
It's possible.
We did try a new artist.
I don't think the artist is to blame.
I like the idea of blaming the artist, though.
I like the idea, too.
Just blame the artist.
Blame the artist.
The poor artist.
The hapless artist.
Yeah, the artist.
To his fault.
To his fault.
You know, but of course I always look at myself and go, well, maybe we just sucked.
I don't know.
I mean, I was off.
You know, I got like a weird phone call.
It was all kinds of stuff that we, you know.
I don't know.
I blame myself, first and foremost.
And then thinking, you know...
The only motivation I have every week in, week out to do this is just because I want to talk with you.
That's pretty much it.
I was afraid this was not a mutual thing.
But I'm like, we should have a system where we check and we'll say, well, it's not worth it.
And then people can donate on the spot.
I have the book, which I picked up when I was in high school, and I've kept it all these years.
Mein Kampf?
The Confucius Say.
No, no.
It was sold in Chinatown for 50 cents.
It's a small little book.
It's an e-book, because I might make more money doing that.
And it says, Bold and witty, bedroom, barroom, and smoker dipsy doodles from the inimitable Confucius.
And Confucius say, number 20, to be big success, chorus girl require a tireless effort.
In the morning.
Well, look, I'm slimming down.
I'm doing my best.
Don't do any more of those, okay?
We already talked about those.
There's only a couple really good ones.
Actually, you want me to read a quick one?
Yeah.
Some of these, since they're puns, actually many of them are visual puns.
Reading them out loud isn't as funny as reading them.
Confucius say number 39.
Soon as girl use horse sense...
Everybody ride her.
Okay.
I'll give you a Chinese in the morning.
All right.
Enough.
I'm saying if that's what people want, we can...
There's plenty of these.
Or we could just, you know, say like, okay, we're going to stop right now and then we'll just wait.
Wait.
There's a thousand people in the chat room.
You're going to hold your breath.
We'll just sit here and wait and see if any more comes in.
We'll let you slide for this show.
You know, I've been...
Joe 500 fatigue is what I'm blaming it on.
Yeah, possibly.
You mean fatigue as in everyone shot their wad?
I mean, it could not come in a worse time.
We have eight days until taxes due here.
And that's the week when everyone's like...
Well, that's the other thing, by the way, that a lot of people are also having to deal with their taxes.
No, no, no, I disagree.
Every year we have a very...
No, no, I disagree, and let me tell you why.
When we were looking for a car for Miss Mickey with all the second-hand car guys, which was another thing that kind of hurt.
I had to get her not a new, but a new used vehicle.
I was like, how's business?
They're like, well, it's kind of slow right now, but it was really good about three weeks ago, so this is now a month ago.
Because everyone got their tax return checks, which I think is because people go to H&R Block and they get into the scam where H&R Block takes, I don't know, 5%.
Yeah, and then they give you a check.
They give you a check, yeah.
Now there's all kinds of scammers cropping up doing the same thing and then leaving town afterwards.
Yeah.
We can do better than H&R Block, and then they just phony up a tax return, send it in, give you a check for some amount of money.
But they have to wait for the check they receive from the government, though.
I forget how this...
Yeah, right.
And then they close up shop and leave.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well...
So I've been listening to Australian TV. Ah, very good.
And so I have a...
Just listening or do you watch?
I watch.
No, I watch.
I watch.
So I was watching the Today Show weekend and they brought in...
They do, you know, the way we do the same thing here and the Australians actually do it worse.
We're always plugging the entertainment shows on the network, on the news.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, of course.
New movie coming out.
Just top news.
Everything.
All hell's breaking loose when they're going to tell us about a movie.
Well, so they did a thing on Australian TV where they interviewed, it's one of the syndicated shows over there, which is played here.
I think it's on, I don't know, one of the channels.
But they show it on ABC in Australia.
Doomsday Preppers.
Ah, yes, of course.
So they've taken a step further.
They actually had one of the preppers on with a long interview with a whole bunch of frightening prospects.
And I thought the thing was, I honestly believed it was, this prepper is a government spokesman, I believe.
I mean, he just seems like a plant.
And he's warning the Australians about, you know, the idea is to scare people to death.
But listen to this particular report.
He's the average family man who's convinced the world is going to be terrorised by a biological attack, so he is getting ready.
His name is Braxton Southwick.
He's what's called a doomsday prepper.
And I spoke to him from Salt Lake City a little earlier.
Braxton, good morning.
We made it through another night here in Australia.
Not many people are prepared, are they?
But you are.
What are you preparing for and how?
Well, the end of the world, basically.
Everything that comes with it.
But as you can see in the TV show, is a biological terrorist attack that I'm preparing my family for.
What kind of things are you expecting?
A new strain of smallpox, is it?
Yeah, it is smallpox, but it's not the natural strain that we have here in the world.
The WHO, the World Health Organization, eradicated that in 1979.
What I'm more worried about is biological weapons-grade smallpox, which several countries all over the world have, including America, Libya, Syria, Iran, are all in the biological weapons game.
And smallpox is one of the most abundant biological weapons.
All it is is a liquid, a clear liquid that can be easily dropped anywhere and people transfer it from one person to another.
So in reality, it's like a...
Nuclear weapon.
It's just destructive.
It's the same.
Well, I guess it's better to be prepared than not be prepared, but what are the chances, do you think, that this could happen to you in your suburb, in your town?
I'm preparing because I think it will inevitably happen.
Here in America, we've had a biological terrorist attack of anthrax in 2001.
And if a terrorist organization wants to get their hands on, let's say, a nuclear weapon, it's almost impossible for them to get it into America and release it.
But a biological weapon, which all these countries have, and let's just say Libya, which there is no real leader over there right now, they have smallpox.
To give a terrorist organization just a jar full and get it over to America is a high possibility.
So I'm prepared.
But he wasn't scaring the Australians.
He was talking about America.
But it seemed like some sort of...
The whole thing seemed very rehearsed.
Yeah.
They got the dates and times.
He's got everything down.
He mentions Libya having no ruler.
I don't know what Libya's got to do with it.
But it just seemed like some sort of planted or coded information that was being fed into the system.
And I'm just trying to figure out what...
Maybe the show is just a bunch of crackpots, but it seems a little unusual.
What I find is that the smallpox threat doesn't work well with the American public.
We don't understand what it, you know, sarin gas, we kind of like that one.
Anthrax is really the one that we respond to.
We just don't respond well to the smallpox gag, as it were.
You know what I mean?
No, I think you're right.
But I don't see that the Australians were there.
We're kind of laughing up their sleeves at this whole thing.
We like the nuclear thing.
And by the way, I'm all for it.
I think I'd much rather, you know, everyone dies from smallpox.
You know, not everyone will die, of course.
And the buildings will still be there.
You don't ruin everything.
Just because the donations are down, you don't have to be like this.
By the way, speaking of scaring the slaves, remember I played the giant voice system for you from Chapel Hill?
Yeah.
I wanted to revisit that because our producer from there, the shill from Chapel Hill, says, Hey Adam, thank you very much for playing my clip on the show and naming the episode after it.
what a honor i do have a couple of points of clarification about the clip and about chapel hill itself you made the assumption that i was in the military and that this took place on a military base if that was the case the clip would be unusual and unsettling but the truth is far more creepy i work at the university uh carolina at charlesville North Carolina at Chapel Hill.
It's a small town that consists of the school, a main street, and not much else other than being the college basketball mecca of the country.
I have no idea when or why the giant voice system was installed, but they test it once or twice a year.
The first time I heard it was about a year ago.
It was at lunchtime when I was on a run around campus.
It's very spooky.
Half expected them to start playing the duck and cover song.
So this resumed normal activity order wasn't being directed to trained soldiers, but telling the citizens, you will obey.
Well, that's interesting.
So let's play it again, just so we can hear what it is.
So this is going on in North Carolina, Chapel Hill, in these United States of America, not in a military situation, but just a giant voice system telling the slaves what to do.
I've been here.
All clear.
All clear.
Resume normal activity.
Repeat.
All clear.
All clear.
Resume normal activity.
Repeat.
All clear.
All clear.
Resume normal activity.
So while they have these prepper shows out there trying to scare people, the actual scary stuff is happening.
You know, they have one of these.
I don't know how.
He's got to give us the date of the construction of this thing.
Well, he doesn't know.
They have one of these in San Francisco.
In fact, they have one in the vicinity of the media offices.
Really?
Yeah.
And every Friday, first they have an alarm, an all-clear alarm, which is from the civil defense days because we're on the coast.
And so they honk this thing on Fridays or one of the days of the week.
And it makes a big bracket.
But it doesn't have the voice.
No, no.
The voice does come on once in a while.
I've never heard the voice.
I've heard a voice.
I've heard a voice.
I mean, I can't say you ever hear it all the time.
But I have heard a voice and I think there's a big giant voice in San Francisco.
I have to look into it now.
I don't know even who runs this thing, because the civil defense group is long gone, so this thing could be on some autopilot.
Nobody even cares, which is what I suspect.
But this is the good idea.
Why do we get an electric bill from this thing?
What is this?
Ah, civil defense.
Here's what's cool.
So I think that we can just set up our own And just roll out.
Yeah, and we can just do these.
You start off like this, right?
Because people are so stupid and so trained now.
I can climb up.
This is a great idea.
I'm telling you, I can climb up on my roof.
We have a widow's walk.
You have to go through one of those attic ladders, but it's cool up there.
And I can see the city of Austin, so with a good directional...
A speaker system.
I could get pretty far.
And literally, we'll just have our own giant...
And you start off with, you know, all clear, all clear, resume normal activity.
You do that once a month.
Once a month.
And then you start going like, buy seeds.
Buy heirloom seeds.
And then you start giving out URL, website addresses.
You know, we can do all kinds of stuff.
And people will do it.
I'm telling you, we should be packaging.
This is another product.
Write this down.
Giant voice systems.
You can get all the pieces you need at Radio Shack.
Yeah, no, you can't.
It's a good idea, man.
We should consider it.
Personal giant voice systems.
PGVS. Personal giant voice systems.
And then we can just do like, eat your mac and cheese.
We do all kinds of things.
Well, in fact...
Oh, okay.
I've got it.
I have...
It's done.
I've got it.
This is the ultimate.
We need to create a little box, okay?
And the only thing you have to do is you connect this box to a Wi-Fi and a Radio Shack amp and a speaker.
And it has a Raspberry Pi in it.
And it talks to the personal giant voice system network, which you and I program.
And we just...
We drop in our voice tracks, right?
With stuff.
With messages.
And then so anyone can just set this up.
They connect it to a Wi-Fi, convenient Wi-Fi.
The little box brings in the new thing.
We can even trigger it, right?
So we can say, oh, time to trigger off the giant voice system.
And we just, you know, for the first six months, we're just doing these tests, these normal tests, which everyone apparently thinks is okay.
They don't question it.
And then we start doing it.
And then we start messing with people.
Yeah.
I think you could put these, like if you put a four horn system, these are horns, that's where you get the distance.
Yes, horns, yes.
So you put a four horn system on top of a telephone pole with a bunch of phony baloney artificial looking, you know.
It has to be gray, it has to look gray.
Oh no, it has to look kind of, yeah, it's got to look pedestrian military-ish.
Go ahead, I'm looking at the Radio Shack website.
Yeah, they've got them, they've got them.
Yeah, you put it up there.
It has to be four directions so it's with a big giant voice.
And you put some numbers and you stencil some stuff on it so it looks like it was officially put on there.
Do not touch.
Here it is.
Do not disconnect.
100 watt PA indoor-outdoor power horn speaker from Radio Shack.
It looks the business.
It's $42.99 as a web exclusive.
100 watts.
100 watts and a horn will give you a lot of...
And you just hook up a Raspberry Pi to it, and we'll bake the software.
It's just an RSS aggregator.
It's just bringing in a podcast, essentially, and playing it.
Yeah.
That would be good.
This is a good idea.
I think so.
And then it says, do not remove under penalty of law.
Yeah.
Okay, someone has to make this kit.
We'll do the audio for it.
And then we should just start this.
This could be phenomenal.
People would so believe this.
Totally.
I mean, seriously.
We'll just start it off.
Let's start it off, okay?
Attention citizens.
All clear.
Resume normal activity.
Resume normal activity.
In the morning.
Yeah, in the morning.
That's how we start.
That's how we start.
We ease into it.
I'm telling you, it could be awesome.
All right, well, it's just a thought.
I mean, you know, if someone wants to help us make this, we'll do the audio for it for sure.
Yeah, no, it sounds like a winner.
We can buy seeds.
So I was, again, floating around the sling boxes around the world.
And I found a good, interesting clip.
You remember when they're going to cut back on budgets here in the United States?
Yeah, the Ryan Secret Station.
And our approach to, Obama comes out, I wish I could dig this clip, but Obama comes out and he has all these laundry lists of bad things that's going to happen.
Criminals will be released into the wild because of this, right?
Hold on, hold on.
Because of the Ryan Seacrestation, you may see criminals on the streets.
Do not be alarmed.
All is well.
Resume normal activity.
So I thought it was interesting when I heard this, which is the Canadians...
In other words, this is the way they induce fear in the public.
We're going to be crawling with criminals.
We're going to be outside robbing you.
Some of Newfoundland...
Do you need more set up?
I'm just going to set this up and say the Canadians have a slightly different approach to scaring the public.
Top lawyers, even its own crown attorneys, say the province's latest budget goes at least one cut too far.
They're warning the government that its plan to fight the deficit is really a recipe for wrongful convictions.
So their approach is just...
Is we're going to put you in jail?
Yeah.
That's better, actually.
It took me a second to think about it, though.
Yeah.
Wow.
It was a long report, and they were talking about how they were trying to beef the...
Because there's a bunch of wrongfully convicted people in Canada, apparently, that have gotten out recently, and they're also stoic, Canadian and stoic.
Oh, yes, I was terrible.
I was stuck in prison for 10 years and ruined my family.
See, that doesn't work here because everyone kind of hopes it happens to them because they know that when you finally get out and you're proven...
That's bonanza.
Bonanza.
Book deals, movies, money.
It's kind of like a last resort American dream here.
It's like, please, man, convict me wrong and then we can get some DNA and prove it was some new DNA study and then I'll get out.
And then a bonanza.
No, no, no.
That's not going to work here.
But anyway, so the Canadian...
But I just thought it was so...
It contrasts, you know, that we're going to let the prisoners go.
They're going to put them on sale.
Yeah, I love that.
Unfairly, by the way.
So when it comes to the budget...
The way the president and the administration think of him and themselves is quite telling.
This is Spokeshole Carney, who speaks on behalf of El Presidente here.
And of course the president is now threatening that he is sending a budget.
We haven't seen it yet.
He is sending a complete budget to Congress.
I believe on Tuesday or Wednesday.
And, of course, the press corps wants to know all about it.
...for the budget for those, or ask you to wait for the budget for those.
What I will say is that this is not the president's idealized budget.
It is not what he would do if he were king, or if only...
If he were king, he would do it very differently.
What?
Yeah.
That's not what he'd do if he were king?
Yeah, but he goes over it so easily.
It's not the president's idealized budget.
It's not what he would do if he were king or if only people who supported his proposals were in Congress.
Which is the ideal situation, apparently.
Isn't that weird how he just kind of like...
That's very strange.
So the president had his weekly show.
Oh, here we go.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Now I have to say, he came out with it.
Let's see how he...
How do you think he starts his show?
Heil everybody.
Our top priority as a nation, and my top priority as president.
Oh, what is that?
Let me see.
What is his top priority?
Must be doing everything we can to reignite the engine of America's world.
No, no, no, no.
I'm sorry, Mr.
President.
That is not your top priority.
Your top priority is to protect and uphold the Constitution of the United States of America.
Nothing else.
A rising, thriving middle class.
That's our North Star.
I must drive every decision that we make.
The whole North Star thing, I don't get that.
Where's that coming from?
I have no idea.
Maybe we should just remind him, because I know he listens.
Here's what you are swore.
I, Barack Hussein Obama, do solemnly swear.
That I will faithfully execute.
That I will faithfully execute.
The office of President of the United States.
The office of President of the United States.
And will, to the best of my ability...
And will to the best of my ability.
Ensure the middle class has a fair shot and everybody pays their fair share.
Preserve, protect, and defend.
Preserve, protect, and defend.
The middle class of the United States of America like it's our guiding North Star.
The Constitution of the United States.
Constitution of the United States.
So help you God.
So help me God.
Congratulations, Mr.
President.
Thank you, Chief Justice.
That's right.
Heil, everybody!
So then he goes on, and there's a new meme, and I want to draw our attention to this.
Now, this common sense thing is getting a little out of control.
You can Google...
So there's this sign, which is a Photoshop job.
I'm pretty convinced of it.
And it looks like a billboard, and the billboard reads, What this country needs is a department of common sense.
And I'm getting tweets from people.
You know how someone says, hey, my buddy, or I know this guy, and it's not true.
They heard the story from someone else, and it's bullcrap.
So now I get tweets like, yeah, I saw this sign in New York!
And you Google the sign, and it's like, it's in Kansas, and Wisconsin, and Oklahoma.
And I think it's just a Photoshop.
There is no sign that says what this country needs, a department of common sense.
But it is the meme of replacing Constitution...
The Constitution of the United States with common sense laws.
So it wouldn't surprise me if one day we have a department of common sense.
And here is a little addition to the President's common sense meme in his little show.
Without undermining the rock-solid guarantee at its core.
And we'll enact common sense tax reform that includes closing wasteful tax loopholes for the wealthy and well-connected.
The wealthy and the well-connected.
This is new.
What do you think it means?
Well...
He said this before, or that's an old clip.
No, this is from Saturday morning.
Okay, well, he said it before, because I remember clipping it myself, but this was weeks ago.
He has been throwing in this well-connected meme.
I think maybe it was...
It may have even been at the convention.
Whatever the case is, I've been trying to figure it out myself.
I think what it means is, you know...
There's more rich Democrats than there are rich Republicans, so I'm absolutely not sure what he's talking about.
And this common sense thing is getting annoying.
I'm looking at the sign now, by the way.
This one's in Oklahoma.
Yeah, but they're all over the place with the same picture.
Yeah, yeah.
Right.
The picture of this thing, yeah.
It is a Photoshop job, I'm sure of it.
Yeah.
There's a logo with this thing.
It's a light bulb in a circle.
Yeah, but I've tried.
I did a lot of searching.
I could not trace the origin of it.
But there's money going into this, and right now it's just online, and it's just Photoshop job.
But this common sense thing, you know, so 60 Minutes tonight, and I pulled no clips from it, but they have a bunch of parents from Sandy Hook, and they're literally just like, we need common sense laws.
Yeah, I know.
I saw that, too.
It was kind of disturbing.
But where are all the parents who are usually on board?
These are new people.
And there's like an old guy.
He's like 80.
And he's sitting there.
He's there, too.
Anyway, I promise not to do too much on that.
But there's some other stuff going on.
I think...
That the Obama is gay rumors are about to crop up again.
There's a lot of preemptive stuff going on.
A lot of preemptive stuff.
Oh, do you think that might account for...
Yeah, hold on, hold on.
Yes.
First, let's hear the First Lady.
You probably heard this, John, but a lot of people around the world may not have.
We're looking at new models of getting farmers markets to, you know, create buses and drive into communities that are underserved.
So we have to deal with the question of access.
And believe me, as a busy single mother, or I should say single, as a busy mother, sometimes, you know, when you've got the husband who's president, you feel a little single.
So I think, now first of all...
So that's the clip of the day.
Clip of the day.
You hadn't heard this one?
No!
Okay, well I'll take it.
You may have to play it again, but I'll grab it.
So she's a busy single mother.
Now, this is explained away by everyone.
Oh, it was just a mistake.
She corrected herself.
But, you know, I'm not going to give it to her that easy.
I think she's pissed because the president has been on these men-only buddies golfing weekends with Reggie Love and Tiger Woods and Right.
And then he's hanging out with the beauty queen.
Right.
Well, that's preemptive.
And then, of course, this whole story.
Critics have called President Obama's administration a boys club dominated by men.
Well, now the president is getting some flack for something he said in California yesterday.
It happened at a Democratic National Committee fundraiser which was closed to cameras.
While he praised California's Attorney General Kamala Harris, the President called her, quote, by far the best looking Attorney General in the country.
There was a lot of backlash online, social media, Twitter.
I think we all know sometimes you can't put the toothpaste back in the tube.
Things just come out of your mouth sometimes.
Even when you hit the rewind, he didn't have to admit how great she was and how smart she was.
I mean, come on.
Yeah, he was trying to compliment her, but it maybe was not the right thing to say.
All right, so a couple things about this incident.
First of all, I think he, and there's no audio of this either, unfortunately, but reading the transcript, he says she's by far the best-looking attorney.
After he does talk about how great she is, and of course he should have added that she completely stole California for him, has ripped off everyone's campaign finances, is a total, total evil woman.
They said, no, she's the best looking attorney general.
She was one of the worst DAs that San Francisco had ever seen.
And then people start to groan, apparently.
And he goes, come on, you know what I mean.
You all know it's true.
So he's really trying to make this happen.
So a couple of things.
First of all, We discussed this on the show.
I've never, I've refused to go along with the cultural Marxism inside corporate America where you have to take training because you can't say to a female employee, forget colleague, you can't say to a female employee, oh, you look pretty today.
You can get sued for that.
Yes.
Sued for millions and millions.
And I've always refused.
I said, you know, I'd rather leave the company Or have the company die, then have to adhere to that.
I feel I should be able to say to anyone, male or female, you look pretty, you look handsome, you look dapper, you look great.
Also, you look like shit.
I should also be able to say that.
As a human being to another, or maybe as someone who I want to represent in my company, whatever it is, I should have that opportunity.
And this is how Hooters, by the way, got ruined, a fine American institution.
Now, Hooters was a great idea, and then they had to put women in there with no boobs.
Or guys!
They ruined the business.
Ruined it.
Okay, fine.
It's fine.
If you don't like it, then don't go there.
Don't do business with the company.
So, on one hand, I'm okay.
But now to have these a-holes who, of course, are so afraid to go against the president, the almighty president, and say, well, that's really not in line with our corporate political correctness bullcrap that we have to live by because any other CEO would have been raked over the coals and sued.
They let him get away with it.
And I think it's only because they know that the Globe or the Inquirer or some credible rag is coming out with a big gay story.
And I think Michelle is kind of like, you know, she's...
I think that was really, really smart what she did, if it was indeed on purpose, was to put him on notice, but also really point out that she is his wife.
It's a multiple-layer thing that she did there.
Right, yeah, he better knock this bullcrap off.
Yeah, exactly, exactly.
Put her foot down, essentially.
That's right.
Yeah, she stomped.
She stomped big time.
I agree.
I think that analysis is correct.
I didn't think of the possibility of some gay thing, but this has always been bubbling under the surface.
I mean, the stories that go way back.
The problem is that all the guys who are rumored to have had relations with him wind up dead.
Right, except the one guy.
Larry Sinclair.
Larry has managed to live through it.
Yeah, but they've crackpotted him.
It's like no one believes Larry anymore.
Right.
I don't know.
They've just completely...
You know, there's the Chicago bathhouse.
There's Rahm Emanuel.
Charlie Gibson is rumored to have had sex with Barack Obama.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Well, there's something you won't hear on any other show except no agenda.
That's right, everybody.
The best podcast in the universe.
This is why I like this show.
This is why you show up.
Can I say something like that?
This is why you show up for work.
It's like, oh, there's a good one.
You didn't know that?
Oh, I thought that was...
No, no, no, I didn't.
That was kind of like...
It's like a...
I don't know.
I travel in interesting circles.
Yeah, you travel in show business gay circles who know all this stuff.
You know, but it's also...
It's like it's totally okay when...
It's like the George Clooney thing is still...
You know, I bring that up to somebody...
They just, their jaw hits the ground and then they just refuse to believe it.
That George Clooney could be gay?
That he is gay.
Yeah, we pretty much are sure he is.
And by the way, the public doesn't, you know, and Hollywood, of course, doesn't want this kind of thing becoming a meme.
No, it's not good.
So he's always got a girlfriend and whatever.
Who's always too tall.
The president thinks the same thing.
It's been, it's suppressed.
But, you know, in popular culture, though, it's so interesting how, you know, so the Democrats, so of course the Democrats are the true racists.
People who are really, really all out on board in the Democrat Party, I'm sorry, they really are truly the racists.
We were at a party, an art party, and I'll never get invited again.
Come on, tell the story.
They're not going to be listening.
Well, it was with very good friends of ours, who I like very much and respect.
They're the Democrat friends of yours.
They're the Obama boss.
Yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
I like Obama.
No, it's a little beyond that, John.
It's a little.
But I call them out on it, you know, and I just say, mm-mm, yeah.
And I think I amuse them, for sure.
Yeah, you're the wacky uncle.
Yeah.
No, I don't want to be the old Republican conservative uncle.
What about Tower 7?
I do not bring out Trade Center 7.
But I did get to lay my North Korea wrap on them, the whole Disney thing and Rodman.
That had people, literally their jaws were just like, he's like, but...
When they're like, you know, they're like laughing.
It's beyond the most superficial aspects of the American news media.
They don't even go to the extent that, of listening to, I mean, even if they're on the border, they won't watch the Canadian news.
I mean, the National had a report recently on the crazy, on some crazy crap going on in Russia.
It was just a, that we've actually talked about, but we didn't have any of this part of the story, and it was just riveting.
But no, no, no.
Well, exactly.
Usually it starts like this.
Well, you know, there's probably on Fox News or something.
And then I'll say, you know, Fox News is run by the Democrats.
And that's usually my opening line.
And they'll be like, what?
Are you insane?
And then I can usually, you know, without having to explain it all, I can steer it away pretty quickly into something else.
But the big one this weekend was North Korea.
And, of course, I have a little credibility because I can say, well, you know, my Uncle Donald Gregg, that's how I start.
You know, he was...
Ambassador to South Korea, and he thinks, you know, they really just want, they don't want this armistice bull crap, they just want it to be a part of the big boys game, and, you know, please, you know, just let us be a part of it, and don't tell us what to do, and, oh, by the way, you know, we were the ones that drew the line in the 38th parallel, and that's pretty much our fault.
And so I have that credibility to start with, but then I'll say, now, usually it's like, I don't think we need Dennis Rodman representing us.
And I'm like, well, you clearly misunderstand the great American system of capitalism.
Then I explain how Disney is going to open up a theme park, North Korea, Disneyland North Korea.
And it makes them drink, John.
It literally makes them go back to the bar for another drink, just to come back and listen.
Like the little mini show.
Right?
I should be charging...
You know, I could do this.
You know, they had...
This is one of these parties where...
I think Mickey invented this original concept in 1991 at the Supper Club.
You have people dressed up in these complete body suits that are head-to-toe, one-piece.
So they have no facial features, no nothing, but you see their...
Some are women, you see their breasts, and some are men, and you see a huge dick hanging down there.
And they slither around throughout the whole party.
Have you ever seen this?
Yeah, I saw it at one of her parties.
Exactly.
But what is the...
So they had like 20 of these at this party, the whole night.
So they're like walking art.
Exactly.
So they get paid.
I'm sure they better.
Why shouldn't I get paid for doing my playing show?
Oh yeah, you should get paid for being the crackpot.
Oh, is Adam going to be there?
Because he's entertaining as hell.
What a character.
So this...
I'm not quite sure how we got here.
But anyway, so the party is a fundraiser, a foundation.
We got invited.
I didn't have to spend the dime, which is good.
There was some art you could bid on.
Right.
But this is at a very, very famous house in Austin.
And it's an architectural marvel.
It took eight years to build.
And I was talking to the owner, who's probably five years younger than I am.
And, you know, I realize that this was a very important house.
And I'm like, oh, God.
I'm in the wrong place.
And the Obamas have stayed there.
And so here's what I noticed.
By the way, fantastic house.
Beautiful.
Work of art.
I mean, and lovely that these people are doing things for the arts, etc.
But the whole vibe at this party...
I can only imagine this is what a really high-cost Democratic fundraiser is like.
Where everyone is afraid to say anything.
They're all talking complete bullcrap.
Everyone's sucking up to everybody just in case that person might be rich, famous, important, or political.
It's really tense.
You know what I mean?
Have you ever been to one of these?
Not to that.
I've been to a lot of events where there's some tension, but not to a politically based one where there's that kind of tension.
I just don't go to those.
And again, you know, it's Austin, you know, this is a relatively small town, and I really love our friends, you know, and I fight with them all the time, you know, they know, they listen, they've heard the show, they don't listen anymore, but they've heard the show, you know, and I think they, you know, we have a good relationship, but you know, when I see this, I'm like, oh my god.
I literally said to Mickey, we've got to find some group of Republicans just to balance it out.
I've just got to go stand in the middle of George Bush just to wash it off a little bit.
And you know what?
It'll be just as bad or worse if we wash off nothing.
I know, I know, I know, I know.
That's the political scene.
It's really creepy.
And that's kind of what I was reminded.
Because in the Netherlands, just an even smaller country, I was involved.
I met a lot of politicians.
I was at a couple of parties.
I'm like, oh my god, this is horrible.
You people are lame.
But this is just, I don't know, man.
It's not me.
How can these people be happy?
I don't think they are.
Probably not.
In fact, especially if they won't.
I've said this before.
I've always believed that there's a short circuit that occurs with this kind of rigid thinking that...
You lap everything up and all the contradictions, which is really the problem that I have, is all the contradictions that are involved with whatever it is you're lapping up.
And you just suck it in and you just take it as gospel when it doesn't really work as such because it's contradictory.
And I think it's unhealthy.
Oh no, I think it's very unhealthy.
I think people die from this.
I think you get cancer from living like this.
And it just shows, you know, this is what I learned.
What my daughter always says about me, she says, I've never seen my dad so unhappy as when he had money.
He's so much happier now that he's living, you know, he's taking a vow of poverty apparently.
He's living in Austin, but he seems pretty happy.
And it's true.
I'm much, much happier.
I can't imagine.
Yeah, I'm going to be late for the jet.
I mean, I remember this.
Late for the jet.
John, we know these people.
I was one of these people where you have a lot of money and there's a lot of people that do things for you and your life is frantic and it's humorous.
And people find you humorous because you're, oh, I'm sorry, I have to jet off to Saint-Tropez.
No, you know, here's what gets me about these guys.
And I know, you're right, I know a lot of, I know literally...
People like that.
As many billionaires as anybody.
Right.
And they are so frazzled and busy that it's like, holy crap, I mean, can't you, you know, it's like you have to make, you want to go see them for lunch?
They're like a friend of yours forever.
And you have to talk to their handler, and then it's months out.
Because every single day they've got to lunch with someone important, and they've got to do this, and they've got to do that, and they've got to go to the apartment in Manhattan, and they've got to rush off to some island.
The Hamptons.
We have to go to the Hamptons.
Yeah, if you're in New York, you're always in and out of the Hamptons.
The Hamptons or the Caymans or whatever.
It's an Aspen.
It's non-stop.
Aspen, that's another one.
It's non-stop.
It's never like, let's just, I don't know, chill.
Let's go play Frisbee with the dog.
I can't do any of that.
Let's play Parcheesi or something like that.
Parcheesi.
I play Parcheesi.
I like Parcheesi.
Anyway, so it's always fun when people talk about guns and I'll be like, I love guns!
That's probably the only difference you're going to get with those two crowds.
One is the Republicans.
And that's your gun collection.
Here's where it gets better.
God, I love my wife.
God, the girl formerly known as the communist chick against nuclear bombs in Amsterdam.
So they'll be like, we've got to keep guns under the hands of crazies.
And I'm like...
This is just common sense.
I swear to God.
It's just common sense that we do background checks.
Somebody said common sense.
Yes!
Not once.
It's just common sense that we do background checks on people's mental health.
I'm like, you can't legislate crazy.
He said, look at me.
I'm perfectly sane.
I got tons of guns.
And you see them step back like half an inch.
But then Mickey will be like, yeah, I got one in my glove compartment.
So here's two six-foot-plus people.
Blonde, beautiful.
Nazis.
Nazis.
Hi, everybody.
How you doing?
We got some guns.
Would you like to come and take a look at a gun collection?
Hey, come over to the house sometime.
I love Austin for that.
You know what?
I bet you I'll still get invited back.
Anyone know that you even went through this rant?
Nah, you'd be surprised.
You'd be surprised.
I did meet Burton, who's a designer here.
Architect, I'm sorry.
His wife I had not met.
Now, Burton's cool.
His wife is a lawyer, but she works for our National Treasure, PBS. And she does documentaries.
And she's doing a documentary about Fisher versus University of Texas, which is coming before the Supreme Court in, I think, two or three weeks.
And she's definitely listening to the show.
And this is about affirmative action.
This is where these women were refused entry into the University of Texas, and they say it's because they were female and white, not because of their grades or their aptitude.
Yeah, this case has been cropping up all over the place.
It showed up in the first place I know of.
2008.
Before that, Michigan State had a similar case, where some girl who, again, a girl with straight A's, and she was...
Her family, everyone went to Michigan State and she couldn't get in because of affirmative action.
They had enough white girls.
We're at the limit.
Sorry, can't get in.
We'll just bring in somebody else.
So this is the, so yeah, Fisher versus UT. And this started in 2008.
Now it's before the Supreme Court.
And it would be very interesting because all the courts have said, no, that's totally okay.
And we're getting to the point where it is flipping around.
I think that Mickey had to fill out a thing online, and they asked for her race.
And it didn't say Caucasian.
She clicked on white, and then it had two sub-options dropped open, Hispanic and non-Hispanic.
So there is no Caucasian anymore.
There's no white.
It was white Hispanic and white non-Hispanic.
Interesting, huh?
Yeah, it is interesting.
Things are changing.
Look, I don't care either way.
I got 30 more, 40 more years on this planet.
Screw y'all.
Crap, it's not my problem.
I'm just here to bring you the truth.
Ah!
Ah!
What is their moniker?
Protectors of Truth?
Or what was it?
Guardians of Reality.
Guardians of Reality.
That's what we do.
So let's look at some bullcrap reality.
Of course, that involves the reporting around the threat of North Korea.
It has been fantastic in just the past few days.
Tonight, the U.S. is tracking a mobile missile launcher that has been moved within North Korea by train.
The launcher has the ability to strike Japan as well as U.S. bases in Okinawa and Guam.
Adding to the fears, today, the young leader of the North said the moment of explosion is coming.
North Korea's newsreaders promising...
A justified all-out war.
While here in South Korea today, US forces trained in hazmat suits.
It is preparation in the unlikely event Kim Jong-un were to deploy his nation's arsenal of chemical weapons.
Alright, so a couple things.
First of all, in the unlikely event, thank you for pointing out the obvious, I just want to say hello to all of our servicemen and women there in South Korea, all 37,000 of you.
I'm sorry this bull crap is making you put on your freaking hazmat.
I can just see everyone going like, oh crap.
Those things are horrible.
We've got to put on the hazmat suit for this BS again.
Okay, okay.
Let's see what the Korean reporting on CNN. So they've got this hot babe in South Korea who is doing all the on-the-spot reporting.
And she editorializes very interestingly.
The perception of Kim Jong-un in the South.
Very simply, South Koreans think he's completely crazy, that he is perhaps even worse than his father.
A lot of times you look on some of the South Korean newspapers, some of the blogs, and people are making fun of his weight, calling him a pig, calling him a dog.
They cannot stand him here.
But that unpredictability is what they are most concerned about.
Okay, now comes the pure editorialization.
This is not what they're saying, this is what she thinks.
He is essentially a man-child with his finger on the nuclear button.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Very nice.
A man-child with his finger on the nuclear button.
Okay, we're sufficiently scared now.
Maybe we should ratchet it up and have spokeshole Carney at the White House give a little extra jiggle on the handles.
First, we have alarming new video coming out of North Korea to show you.
Take a look at this.
You see missiles being fired on North Korea's coast.
The secretive regime released this video yesterday.
Now, we don't know if these missiles are real.
They may have even been photoshopped.
But a U.S. official says two medium-range missiles have been loaded onto launchers on North Korea's east coast.
The White House says it would not be surprised if Kim Jong-un orders missiles to be fired to show off his military might.
We've obviously seen the reports that North Korea may be making preparations to launch a missile and we're monitoring this situation closely and we would not be surprised.
To see them take such an action.
Oh, that's right.
We would not be surprised.
Now, what could be causing all of this?
We have to...
I mean, the war on crazy, ladies and gentlemen, if you want to legislate anyone to do anything based upon their mental health, it should be presenting facts on news stories or being a pundit or being on television at all.
You should have a certificate of good health because these people are insane.
The issue of why we are where we are today.
Think Woodstock.
You know, the Woodstock generation is now ruling this country.
Actually, people my age who were, you know, not me, of course, Don, but other people in college were smoking the stuff back in the 70s, and they're now running the government.
So it doesn't surprise me that we're being a little bit friendlier to it.
Let's look at the rest of the world before we jump into this.
I was looking today at the statistics about how many countries have legalized marijuana.
One of the things that really shocked me is that one of about five countries that have absolute legalization, North Korea, which may explain a lot about what's going on over there right now.
Okay.
How insane is that?
Yeah, he should be not allowed to buy a gun, that guy.
Well, before you go, let me just wrap it up.
Let me wrap it up for you.
I'm not going to wrap it up because I've got one clip that has to do with this.
Well, I have an answer to a question.
Hit it.
All right.
So, thank God, at least at the State Department press briefing, someone asked the question that we were interested in, is how do you get these messages from North Korea?
How do you know when they say we're going to launch a missile?
How do you know when they say there's going to be a nuclear attack?
How do you know?
This is about the mechanics of yesterday's latest threat.
I don't know if there's a threat today, but North Korea says it has notified and ratified and notified you that it intends to attack.
Mechanically, do you get any notification?
Do they go through the New York Channel, for example?
Do you get it?
Or are they just publishing it on their state newswire, KCNA, and that's their notification?
Some of that in some of their public statements, Paul.
Frankly, to my knowledge, they don't call us up and say, you know, let us just say privately what we've just said publicly generally.
These kinds of statements of As Matt called it, bombast and aggressive rhetoric come through the state.
Bellicose!
You didn't say bellicose.
I know.
You know, the New York Channel fax machine or...
Oh, the fax machine.
Do they use the fax machine?
If I have anything to share on that, I will, but I don't think there's anything to share there.
So no one calls, no one faxes.
There's nothing going on.
There's nothing.
It's just whatever the CIA posts on the website.
Oh, I'm sorry, the KCNA. So there may be a missile firing after all, but it's not for reasons anyone would suspect.
But there was a long report done on the Australian broadcaster where they brought in one of their experts to discuss this.
And I thought it was a fairly level-headed discussion of what's really going on in North Korea.
And it was just worth playing.
I mean, this is nothing we get like...
I mean, it's reasonable.
And...
Play long report.
West, is it just posturing or is an attack on the horizon?
We're joined by international security expert Professor Alan DuPont.
Professor, thank you for coming in this morning.
What's going on behind the scenes?
Where has all this come from?
Well, this is pretty typical of past North Korean behaviour.
When they have a change of regime, and we have a new leader in power now, Kim Jong-un, they tend to manufacture a crisis, one, to boost his political constituency at home, so in other words, to take control of the military, and secondly, to try and get concessions from the West in terms of aid, and then you see it quieten down again, and then we see another crisis follow.
It's more difficult and dangerous this time though because North Korea has nuclear weapons, it has the means of delivering them, these missiles, and also the South Koreans have made it clear that this time around they're not going to turn the other face, they're going to respond if they're attacked.
So that makes it much more dangerous.
So who's in the firing line?
Their missiles that they have, how far can they reach?
And we do have a bit of a map here, depending on, I guess, which missile they're using.
Well, they have a range of missiles, but the one they've just moved to the east coast are what we call medium-range missiles.
They have a range of about 3,000 kilometres.
That would take them to about northern Indonesia.
Maybe as far as Guam, where the US has a base, but not to continental United States.
So they're the two missiles they've just moved to the east coast.
Now my view would be that they probably test fire one of these missiles close to Japan to demonstrate they're not going to be cowed by the West and by UN sanctions.
And then hopefully...
They'll declare victory and go home.
That's what we're all hoping, because we don't know what's going to happen because of the unpredictability of the situation.
Kim Jong-un is an unproven leader, so we don't really know what's going to happen.
So even though there is quite an amount of posturing here, the danger is that you just don't know what this very strange country and this very strange family is going to do.
Well, I think that's true at one level.
There is a measure of unpredictability about having a new leader, but let's just understand that the North Koreans are rational.
They're not going to commit suicide.
And if they fight a nuclear weapon, that would be a suicide note effectively.
So they are rational.
In their calculation, the only card they have to play to get concessions from the West is their nuclear card.
And they've played it very effectively.
Oh, that's bullcrap.
That is not how it's going to happen.
He's not on the same...
What script is he for?
He doesn't have the wrong version.
I don't know.
It's not the script.
I don't know.
I've never heard the script before.
Completely wrong version of the script.
This is completely wrong.
It is the cyber war.
Here's proof!
Sounds like North Korean state TV, but what it says?
You're no better than a dog, Kim Jong-un.
That's what greeted viewers of the North Korean government website Uri Minsogiri, along with pictures of Kim Jong-un in drag.
Somber song showing Kim Jong-il drinking wine while North Korean children starve.
That was your wine tasting.
Min Sokiri's Twitter account links to this image.
A wanted poster showing Kim Jong-un dressed as an obese pig with exposed chest hair and a Mickey Mouse tattoo on his gut.
Wait.
So this is...
Watch this report.
This is the same hot CNN chickie in South Korea.
She's going to take this into a reason for missile launches and full-out cyber war.
Calling him a threat to world peace.
The North Korean Twitter account blared the word hacked.
And it showed an image of a mask that's a favorite symbol of the hacking group Anonymous.
What's interesting, by the way, if you watch the video, she says it showed the icon of a mask, which would be the mask from the V for Vendetta movie.
But it doesn't.
It shows the Tango Down icon, which is interesting.
So, you know, just complete cock-up on CNN's part.
No one's listening to even what the reporters are saying when they're putting the fake images in.
It sounds totally like a North Korean announcer.
Yeah, totally.
You can't help but laugh, says information security expert Sungju Kim.
But this is just the latest shot in an ongoing and very serious cyber war between the two Koreas that goes far beyond just the humiliation of a leader.
Far beyond!
Which is the bigger threat?
A conventional war?
A nuclear war?
Oh, what is the answer, John C. Dvorak?
Cyber war, obviously.
Or this cyber war.
The purpose of a cyber war is to disable the enemy's ability to fight, says Professor Kim.
Oh, right.
Your gun won't work.
If the cyber war continues, there's a high possibility it could lead to a conventional war.
Oh, high possibility.
Conventional war!
In a country that claims to be the most wired in the world, South Korea has been under increasing attack.
Attack!
Just last month, a major cyber assault knocked South Korean television networks offline and froze business at banks.
That's why Seoul is building a cyber army.
These are the soldiers, learning to break code and understand what they call North Korean cyber terrorism.
We can't show you their faces because many of them will eventually work with the South Korean military on the cyber front lines.
Ah, the cyber front lines!
Where they'll face off with cyber soldiers from the North.
Cyber soldiers!
I can't take the alliteration anymore, CNN. Cyber soldiers on the cyber front lines!
So what they have is, we'll go back to the Australian guy, which is probably, you know, it wasn't exciting.
No!
They're going to fire off some test missile and it's going to land somewhere and they're going to say, we're going to show you we got missiles, which they've done a couple of times just recently.
So, okay, so then this little thing ends, which takes it out of the news cycle, assuming that this guy's right, and assuming that everybody doesn't panic because they shot a missile off.
And so that it'll be out of the news cycle.
So you have to create this new news cycle because for some reason we want to keep North Korea in the news as these horrible people, bad guys, because we don't want them to reunite those two countries for some other reason.
And so you create this bullcrap cyber war thing.
But again, as far as I'm concerned, it makes zero sense.
Yeah.
Because North Korea is not a computerized country by any means.
And what do they have?
The two great genius hackers that are over there setting up all this bogus stuff?
No.
They've got nothing going on.
The South Koreans are loaded to the gills with people on computers.
How little you know.
How little you know.
Apparently I don't know anything.
No, let me tell you.
Here's why Austin is targeted.
Because they want Google Fiber.
That's what's going on.
How come they dropped the Austin Targeted story like a hot potato?
Because it was so stupid.
Well, like you said, someone got in trouble for putting that in there.
Somebody slipped it in as a joke.
What they should do is they should show South Korea with the Mickey Mouse on an intercontinental ballistic missile.
Now you're talking.
Doing the Mickey Mouse on his gut thing is a little...
By the way, the chat room correctly pointed out that North Korea communicates to the United States government through the fact machine.
Yeah.
Dangerous, psycho, cyber-terrorist using a fax machine yet.
No, but wait.
Facts.
F-A-C-T-S. Oh, facts.
Oh, God.
Yeah, I like that one.
Anyway, so, yeah, this is becoming laughable.
Yeah.
And by the way, whoever that woman is in South Korea making these reports, she should be ashamed of herself.
She's loving it.
She's getting paid.
She's getting laid.
I guarantee it.
She's hot.
She's on CNN. She's boogieing down.
It's all fantastic.
She's hanging out with the whole elite there.
She's part of the whole deal.
No, no, no.
This is all good.
Of course, we hear nothing about Iran.
Wasn't that time bomb ticking there?
Wasn't BB's fuse almost at the explosion?
The round bomb with the fuse at the top.
Yeah, so we have that fuse, and then we have, of course, we don't hear anything about the 130, I think maybe 140 prisoners now on hunger strike in Guantanamo Bay.
So instead, we bring in Guam, because people like Guam, Guantanamo, they don't even know what the difference is.
You know, just to add a little bit of insult to injury.
And, of course, everyone really forgets the history of the peninsula.
Which is after the Second World War.
I'm sorry.
In the Second World War, Japan invaded Korea quite violently, I will say.
No, it wasn't after the war.
No, I said during the Second World War.
I said they invaded Korea very violently.
They just obliterated these people.
They were forbidden to speak Korean.
They gave them all Japanese names.
And this was only 60, 70 years ago.
This is not...
This is not that long ago.
Historically, they've been doing that every few hundred years.
They go in and they kick the shit out of the Koreans and then they retreat back to Japan.
Yeah.
It's something...
And nobody really...
Because they've taken...
Actually, the Koreans will tell you this.
I'll give you a lecture about it, at least in South Korea.
They have taken...
Besides taking the language, they've burned their libraries.
They stole as much of the history as they could.
So this actually now has kind of lost the history as to why this continues.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, the Koreans don't even know.
What's the problem with these people?
Yeah, no one knows.
And then, of course, he was going to be Secretary of State.
I forget his name.
He drew the line, literally just went like, okay, 38th parallel, North Korea, South Korea.
Stalin, you take care of the North, we'll take care of the South.
And that's what happened.
And then the true hero of Korea wanted to reunite North and South, this kid's granddad.
And then that was supposed to be like 30 days, and it turned into three years and millions of people that died and families.
It was basically like North and South, like our civil war.
It was messed up, but it was propagated by, I would say, essentially us and the Russians.
And here we are.
And it's all back again.
It's the same thing.
And I think this kid's new.
We've got to make him look crazy so we can keep this meme going for the next 20 years.
Right.
We've always got to make him look crazy.
Yeah, it's unconscionable.
It's ridiculous.
This could be...
I think your uncle's right.
He would like to just end it.
Instead of having this crazy...
What is it?
A... Pause in the war.
It hasn't been resolved.
Well, also, we do know that these things, you've got to be really careful, because when East and West Germany were reunited, I mean, South Korea probably at this point doesn't want the economic duress that will ensue.
The Germans took a huge economic hit when they opened the gates, and also a cultural hit, because the people over in East Germany were so anti-communist that they maintained a kind of fascist, pro-Hitler kind because the people over in East Germany were so anti-communist that they maintained a
So they had to re-educate them and then they had to give them a lot of money so they could fix the mess up that was over there because the East German government was doing nothing.
And this would be the exact same thing, but I think South Korea is strong enough now Then the Germans realized that this was going to be a problem, but they knew they were strong enough to be able to take the economic punch in the gut that it was going to happen when they reunited their own country.
In case in point, they now run the whole show.
So, South Korea, I would say take a look at Germany because Germany runs Europe.
Yeah, it's possible that South Korea could run all of Asia.
Run all of Asia and, you know, kick the butt.
Kick the Japs.
Kick the Japs.
Get the Japanese.
Call them Japs, please.
Japs.
Sounds good.
Oh, come on.
American princess.
Every time I hear it, I think.
True, true.
You know what we need?
And Joe Biden, our vice president, said it just this weekend.
You know what we need, John?
You know what we need?
The affirmative task we have now is to actually create a new world order.
Yay!
What?
Yeah, that's this weekend.
That is your vice president.
That was this weekend?
This weekend.
What, he just got the memo?
Was it under a pile?
Hey, what is this?
What is this from eight years ago?
Hold on, let me open this envelope for a second.
Hmm, what does this say?
Bilderberg, for your eyes only, Rothschild.
Hmm.
Oh, I know.
Hey, bring my teleprompter over here.
Check this out.
The affirmative task we have now is to actually create a new world order.
The affirmative task we have now is to actually create a new world order.
What does that even mean?
What is it...
Didn't we already create a new world order with us at the top?
What does he want to do now?
The affirmative task...
The affirmative task...
I don't understand it.
I don't understand the...
Should we listen to a little more?
It's an old memo.
Should we listen to a little more?
Maybe there's something in there?
Because the global order is changing again.
Oh.
How's it changing again?
And the institutions in a role that worked so well in the post-World War II era for decades...
They need to be strengthened.
And some have to be changed.
So we have to do what we do best.
Go and kill somebody!
Drone them!
We have to lead.
We have to lead.
We have to update the global rules of the road.
We have to do it in a way that maximize benefits for everyone.
Because obviously it's overwhelmingly in our interest.
This is not a zero-sum game.
It's overwhelmingly in our interest that China prosper, that Mongolia prosper.
What?
That's the key right there.
Mongolia?
This has something to do with Mongolia.
Why would you just drop the Mongolia bomb?
Wait, let's see if there's more besides Mongolia.
That nation's big and large.
No, no, it's Mongolia.
East and West.
Big and large.
Nation's big and large.
Isn't it kind of redundant?
I like penises big and large.
We have to level the playing field.
Yeah, we've got to level the playing field.
Incoming.
American companies and workers can compete in the world that the competition is fair and it's healthy.
To the first point.
No, that was just his first point.
Came into office facing the worst financial recession since the Great Depression.
The worst financial recession since the Great Depression.
Since my Grammy...
We had to unfreeze the credit markets, reform the financial system, inject demand back into the economy.
And while this agenda is far from complete...
We've made significant progress with all of your help.
The economy is now added private sector jobs.
Yeah, okay.
Right.
Enough.
Enough.
It added 88,000 jobs, and we know there's a magic number where you're at break-even.
It's 150,000.
Yeah, if you don't get 150, you are losing jobs.
You're losing jobs.
That's based on the population increasing and all the rest.
Hey, bad news.
Bad news.
I just forwarded you a picture from the shill from Chapel Hill of the giant voice system.
Yeah?
They've updated the look.
This is not good because there's no way we can replicate this.
Yeah, this thing looks nothing like the Radio Shack horn.
Well, I mean, we can still replicate the sound of it.
Yeah, but I mean, our badges with like...
Do you email this?
Yeah, it's on your email.
Our badges with like, you know, like government property do not touch, or you will be, you know, under prosecute, you will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.
Yeah.
It's not going to look right.
This thing has like a solar panel.
Oh, I think we can go with solar.
Yeah.
Just a bogus solar thing.
Yeah, you don't need real solar.
You just need something that looks like it's solar.
We're not going to run our 100 watts on a solar panel, and I doubt theirs does.
It's cheaper just to have a solar look.
A solar look.
In fact, I'm going to put one of those on the car.
Put some on your roof.
We might as well, you know, Fisker is about to go out of business.
Holy crap.
Yep, they fired everybody.
No, I'm not talking about Fisker, I'm talking about this crazy speaker.
The giant voice system?
Yeah.
What the hell are they doing here?
That's a new device, man.
It looks like...
That looks like something that would kill you.
This may be one of those things where they can just turn up the frequency and then kill everyone.
It looks like a Tesla coil, doesn't it?
Or something.
Yeah, this doesn't look right.
Yeah.
Anyway, as we get into a very short segment to thank everyone today, I would like to remind you, as I did actually, I reminded the reporter from Fortune Magazine.
There was a whole piece about podcasting, how podcasting has finally come into its own.
And of course, he interviews everybody but me.
No me, no Dave Weiner, nobody.
And it's all about comedians making money.
And so we got Adam Carolla and Leo, another fine comedian.
And, you know, we got like Vox Media who say they never want to invest in any networks or anything.
No other model exists, apparently.
My comment got called out, by the way, which means you get highlighted on the Forbes side.
I said, hey, you know, when NPR wakes up one day and they see that we've stolen their entire audience, then you can interview me.
Until then, go away.
Something to that effect.
And then I'm like, someone sends me a link.
NPR, from the listener-supported NPR, if you want to take into account that all ads are listeners, I guess those businesses that do advertising are listeners, are making so much money, not only are they moving into brand new studios and offices, but they're not even taking any of the old stuff, John.
Really?
Go to nprstuff.curry.com.
They're auctioning it off.
Now, I already looked through it, and there's nothing worth bidding on.
They're auctioning off the entire studios.
nprstuff.curry?
Yeah, nprstuff.curry.com.
They're auctioning off, like, oh, this is the legendary, this American Life studio.
Oh, this is the legendary on-air studio.
And, I mean, the mics, the mixers, the compressors, the limiters, the computers.
They're getting all new stuff!
They got nothing but money, these people.
Are you on the side?
No, it keeps...
It keeps redirected.
Oh, Rasmus Auctioneers.
Yeah, there you go.
That's it.
NPR, that's what I do.
Ooh, nice.
These studios are cool.
They're old-fashioned, but, you know.
Yeah, but I mean, just...
Yeah, Booms would be good.
They got some...
Oh, they got some great speakers.
They got...
Holy crap!
Look at the stuff they're selling.
Mm-hmm.
I like the ends.
So you can still get in.
It's until April 15th.
But they're literally, you know, it's the entire studios.
And this stuff looks nice, man.
Look at the mixer.
What do they need?
This is radio.
I don't care what they need.
NPR, right?
So it's radio.
Yeah.
What do they need?
It looks like a Mac or one of these big mixers with like 80 channels.
Yeah.
How many mics do they have in the studio?
Yeah.
Bring down mic number 43 on Bill and bring up mic 36 on his lavalier and then there's one overhead boom mic.
Turn that one down to half volume and then turn up the floor mic because the guys are stomping their feet and then turn up mic number 77 because that gives a little more ambience to the room.
Now, I understand all the ISDN codecs and stuff like that, but, I mean, really, they've got just mixer after mixer and compressors and, ugh.
I mean, it's porn, really, but it's nothing I can use.
No, not really.
But, you know, I'm just surprised.
It's like, you know, I moved from Camp Mofo to the Travis Hideout.
I moved to the studio!
Yeah!
You couldn't move one of these studios in a lifetime.
Oh, honey, let's just do a yard sale.
So here's an NPR. Here's one of the little workstation areas.
There are 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17 monitors on this one table and 17 computers.
And then there's another table behind it.
This is outrageous the way they're wasting money.
What do they need all this shit for?
For their boner.
You're right, it's porn.
Yeah, it's total porn.
And we'll have none of that.
I'm going to show my support by donating to No Agenda.
Imagine all the people who could do that.
Oh yeah, that'd be fab.
Yeah, on No Agenda.
Studio Porn in the morning.
On the list of barons and baronettes and everything, we have to make sure we add Rory Stone as a baronet.
Oh.
Rory Stone, baronets.
Do we have a protectorate?
No, you don't get it.
Okay, we gotta...
Make sure you tell us now.
I'm going to tell you.
You don't get a protectorate, although maybe we'll allow townships, until you become a baron.
Okay.
The baronet serves under the baron in an area.
So can I ask you a question?
If you're a baron...
I am the peerage officer.
Yes, a peerage officer.
If you are a baron, can you demand a tithing from people when they are on your protectorate?
That is yet to be determined.
Political answer.
You should come to some of the parties in Austin.
I'd fit right in.
You know, I'd have the tape recorder going all the time, though.
Oh, really?
How else do you feel about that?
Andrew Lemanski at least helped us out here from Colorado Springs, 12321.
He wants to push his book, mandrewjones.com.
He has a book.
It's mandrewjones.com, I guess.
Go check that out while we're moving ahead.
Well, I'll give him some book karma.
Hold on a second.
You've got karma.
And then curiously, Richard T. in Colorado Springs, right next to the Lemanski donation, 103.33.
He wants some karma for himself and all other people out there who are thinking for themselves, including my friend Chuck B. from Boise.
Even though he called me out as a douchebag.
Then I'll give you a de-douching and a karma.
You've got karma.
You've been de-douched.
Randu Pertuck in Northbrook, Illinois, 8888.
Capital Idea Radio in Cincinnati, Ohio.
The No Agenda Show, best hand job in the universe.
Always welcomed, but never 100% satisfying.
That's better than most hand jobs.
Four out of twelve?
Wait a minute.
What does it say?
Four out of twelve?
What does that mean?
I don't know.
Four out of twelve dentists recommend us?
Let's hope.
All right.
James Deering in Lufkin, Texas, 75.
Chad Biederman, Sir Chad Biederman in Round Lake, Illinois, 69, 69.
Ooh!
69!
69, dudes!
Uh...
Jose Abreu in Lisbon.
Feliz anniversary for me and a karma request for all the slaves.
6969.
You've got karma.
I'm in Springfield, Virginia.
6969.
Just another happy birthday.
David Clevenger.
Wait a minute.
That's it.
Done.
Close to the end of this little game.
David Clevenger in Sterling, Virginia.
6262.
PC cameras and computers.
Panama City Beach.
Florida.
He needs some marriage karma.
I think we should give him some.
Okay.
Because it could double our investment.
You've got karma.
Or...
Could ruin it.
Daniel Torellio.
Yeah, it could be.
Charleston, South Carolina.
Great place.
This is also great for commutes.
Also great for listening to during a 10K. I can imagine people winning listening to us.
Yeah, because they get angry about certain things and start running faster.
Emmanuel Lossier in Brossard, Quebec.
He says happy birthday, so he's guessing I'm 61.
Dmitry Fedoseyev in London, 60.
Christopher Walker in Green Bay, Wisconsin, 50.
And Mack Harbor, LLC, Sheboygan.
Sheboygan, Michigan, 50.
And that's all we have.
I got a couple of birthday call-outs.
Yeah, but I... Oh, wait.
Kind of.
Kind of disappointed.
Well, you should be disappointed because no one gave a crap about your birthday.
I mean, that says more about you than the show.
It's probably I killed the donation segment today.
Well, I'll gladly blame you.
What did you do?
I wanted a birthday call out and nobody gave me one.
Is it no?
And they all went like, no.
No?
No gift?
No call-out?
We're holding out until next Thursday when we have something, or the 505 show, that'd be a good thing to donate to, 505.
Well, it's very simple.
This program, now we've, just this show alone, we've given you so much more value than you can get, than you, if you're living in Euroland, you could now, and you go to the show notes, here's what you do, and here's your value, okay?
This can get you promoted at the office, can get you laid at the cocktail party, can get you into a fight at your local bar.
But I think it'll make you look smart above all and you'll feel good about yourself when the next time someone...
Because this is very accurate.
Right now, people are saying, oh man, I can't believe these elites, these crap, they're taking our money away.
And you say, excuse me, this is what we all signed up for.
It's in the Lisbon Treaty.
It's a part of your European human rights.
And then you go to the show notes, 502.nashownotes.com.
You go to Euroland.
You download the report.
I've highlighted with yellow the actual pieces that we talked about, about being allowed to be killed.
And if you're an alcoholic, this is what she uses in the bar.
It's really cool that they can arrest you if you're an alcoholic.
And lock you up.
And lock you.
Or if you're homeless, they can lock you up if you're vagrant, which isn't even the definition of homeless.
No, that means you're just kind of a bum on the street.
You might have a place to stay.
Yeah, if you have a shopping cart, essentially, with stuff in it that is not in a bag.
That's right.
We don't see so many homeless in Europe.
Yeah, they're picking them up.
And you can say, look, it says right here, your possessions are yours unless it's in the public interest.
So they can take anything from you.
Yeah, land?
Yeah.
House?
Car?
Your wife?
Yeah.
Probably.
Some of you may be happy with that clause, but let that be what it is.
But seriously, I think this is big value.
You can fold these three pieces of paper in your back pocket and say, oh, sorry, this is what we all signed up for, and congratulations.
And you're going to look like the smartest guy in the room and be like, I didn't know that.
Exactly.
Now, that is probably worth at least five bucks a month.
We would appreciate some of the bigger donations, you know, so we can at least pretend that we have the NPR-like studios who apparently are giving you such great value.
God, it pisses me off now.
Look at what those guys have.
I mean, I don't need all that, but I'd like to pay rent.
Anyway, I'd like to thank Agent Orange in the Netherlands.
He sent me a DIA challenge coin.
Don't worry, you got one too.
But what's interesting is on this, so they have like a slogan or a logo, or a slogan.
So it says, Defense Intelligence Agency on the front, with their crazy New World Order-like logo.
But on the back, it says, Counter Drug Document Exploitation.
What?
Yeah.
I googled it and I can only find challenge coins with this on it, but nowhere in explanation.
Counter drug, document, exploitation.
That's what it says on the DIA challenge coin.
I just want to say counter-drug.
One word, counter-drug.
One word is counter-drug.
Counter-drug is one word.
Second word, document.
Third word, exploitation.
And I've Googled this, and all I come up with, I went to their website, and there's no explanation for this.
There's a bunch of...
So there's pictures of the challenge coin, and some guys are selling them on eBay.
But I don't know what it means.
I don't know.
There's counterdrug.org.
There's counterdrug.com.
I think we just need to find the word.
Regional Counter Drug Training Academy.
There's all kinds of counterdrugs.
Some sort of a meme for Mission of Northeast Counter Drug Training is to provide cost-effective counterdrug education and advanced training to fight domestic and transnational.
I have to click on it because that's all Google will give me.
Yeah, but that's not...
So if you go to dia.mil, which of course is their website...
Yeah, there's nothing about this.
There's nothing.
Okay, hold on a second.
Let me just read this to you.
Just a little teaser.
Oh, by the way, it has to be www.dia.mil.
Oh, that's so lame.
A-holes.
Jeez, get some guy who knows what he's doing.
Really?
This is the Northeast Counter-Drug Training Center in Pennsylvania.
Founded in 1999 in accordance with the provisions outlined in the 1999 Defense Appropriations Act.
The Northeast Counter Drug Training Center is operated by the Pennsylvania National Guard with campuses at Fort Indiantown Gap, Pennsylvania and Volk Airfield, Wisconsin.
Both facilities are capable of housing, feeding and training law enforcement and drug demand reduction professionals at no cost to their parent agencies.
This is really odd.
The sites provide a modern and professional environment for training, conferences, and planning sessions, which are essential to the counter-drug community.
Is that like the Bitcoin community?
Jeez.
Do we even know anything about this?
Well, no.
Check this out.
The DIA seal.
The initial letters of the Defense Intelligence Agency, DIA, also comprises the Greek word dia, which means divided into two parts.
In this instance, the flaming torch and its gold color represent knowledge, i.e. intelligence, lighting the way of the known light-blue-green world against the darkness or unknown symbolized by the dark background, the area of the truth still sought lighting the way of the known light-blue-green world against the darkness or unknown symbolized by the dark The two red atomic ellipses symbolize the scientific and the technical aspects of intelligence today and of the future.
The 13 stars and the wreath are adopted from the Department of Starfleet Command and identifies the agency as a DOD organization.
This is Illuminati shit, man.
These guys are out of their mind.
They're out of their mind.
They're just putting crap on them just to scare you.
Well, this counter-drug thing is a big wide open...
Counter-drug document exploitation?
What's the exploitation part of it?
What's the document part of it?
I don't know.
Anyway, thank you very much, Agent Orange.
I feel really unsafe now.
Now that I have this.
We want to remind people to go to dvorak.org slash NA. Give us a little more help on the Thursday show.
Also, channeldvorak.com slash NA, noagendashow.com.
You can click on the donate button there or noagendanation.com or you can click on the donate button there too.
Yeah, and we really, I think we deserve a little more than what we got today.
dvorak.org slash NA. It's your birthday, birthday!
I'm no one king!
Anyway, I was going to...
I was just going to use this to say happy birthday to my partner, my padre.
My partner in crime, John Cena-Morak, who celebrated on the 5th.
Happy birthday from your friends at the Telegenic Show!
It's your birthday, yeah!
There you go.
Enjoy your crappy gift.
I think you should play that horn, the celebration horn from the last couple shows, which I think summarizes the thing.
It summarizes everything.
It sure does.
Well, hold on a second.
I'll find it for you.
I didn't have that one handy.
What did you title it?
Celebration?
Air something.
Yeah.
All right.
Well, that's coming up.
Sorry.
That would have been completely appropriate.
I don't know.
It's gone.
Hold on.
Now you make me do this.
It was 500.
We know that.
I'll have to go back into the archives.
You didn't have it out for the last show.
When you were playing it.
Oh, horns, that's why.
There you go.
Happy birthday, John.
Yeah, thanks.
All right.
Ahhhh!
You feel better?
Yeah, yeah.
No, the celebration horn is really livening me up.
Okay, let's open up our...
We've got our swords there.
And Anatoly Nichev, step forward.
My friend from Russia, you have not only given our bestest buddy, John C. Dvorak, a very nice birthday present, but you also today become a Knight of the Noagent Roundtable.
So I hereby pronounce these Sir Anatoly.
Oh, I screwed up.
Wait, wait, let me do that again.
That's not his name.
Sir Anatoly, Knight of the No Agenda Roundtable.
For you, sir.
I think we'll just do an extra helping of hookers and blow.
Forget all the other stuff.
Russian style.
Russian style, exactly.
Putin style, my friend.
The good stuff.
Putin style.
We're going to give you the good stuff.
And then we congratulate Sir Girard Boers, not Gerald, Sir Girard Boers, on becoming a baronet.
And Sir Rory Stone, also now becoming a baronet.
Both of those gentlemen on their way to Baronees, where they can claim a protectorate, according to our peerage officer.
And thank you all for supporting the No Agenda Show, the best podcast in the universe, particularly in these challenging times when, you know, all we're getting is the middle class being pumped up and all the poor people are down here trying to be guardians of reality.
Something like that.
Once again, our address...
So there was something I wanted to do with you.
Yeah, this was actually...
It's kind of good.
It kind of flows right into...
Or really out of our poor donation segment.
And so this...
This poll that was done.
Remember the one that Al Roker was so surprised that 37% of Americans believe global warming is a hoax?
Yeah.
And of course he had two words, Superstorm Sandy.
So Chris Matthews, I'm only using Matthews as an intro because I got a hold of this entire poll.
The results split out by demographic, and it's very interesting for this show.
And we are missing out on very, very, very important target audiences.
So we should have a meeting about it.
But first, here's Matthews, who of course is using this poll to point out that Republicans, of course, are insane.
Let's start with a wild one.
Do you believe President Obama is the Antichrist?
Let me just give you a refresher so we all know exactly what that means.
Webster's defines Antichrist as, quote, one who denies or opposes Christ.
Specifically, a great antagonist expected to fill the world with wickedness, but to be conquered forever by Christ in his second coming.
Well, 13% of Americans, 1 in 6, and 22% of Romney voters believe Obama is the Antichrist.
Incredible.
Another 13% can't make up their minds.
Liz, 26% think he might be the Antichrist.
What kind of a country of a loony bin are we living with?
Here's another gem here.
11% say the government knew about and let the 9-11s attack.
Happened.
The same amount, by the way, aren't sure where the government did or did not try to stop it.
So, Liz, this is the problem.
Truthers, birthers, they're all over the wall here.
I tell you, the truthers that actually believe that George W. had a plunger, you know, and blew up not just the World Trade Center, but blew up his own Pentagon!
I mean, what's the purpose here?
To get us into Iraq where he was already talking us into, he would have talked us to anyway, probably.
Your thoughts.
Your thoughts.
My thoughts is, this guy's an asshole.
But my actual thoughts are based upon facts.
So I got this poll from, it's called the National Conspiracy Theories Poll, and is done by Public Policy Polling.
Are these guys any good, or is this just some shill organization?
Without looking them up, as far as I recall, they're legit.
They're legit.
So here's how they did the survey.
1,247 registered American voters from March 27th to the 30th, they had them do an automated telephone interview, so that's basically touch-tone phone answers.
Right.
And so they asked a number of setup questions like, did you vote for Romney, Obama, not sure, someone else?
Are you a Democrat, Republican, other?
And they asked some race questions and some very interesting statistics which I think are worth discussing here on the program.
So, of the respondents, 11% were Hispanic, 72% were white.
12% African American and 5% other.
So, you know, this to me automatically says this is not a very representative poll of the country.
Or is it, John?
Is 12% of the United States black?
Is 11% Hispanic?
I think this may be accurate, yeah.
Is that accurate?
The 45% of the respondents were between 46 and 65 years old.
Is that also accurate as the majority?
I don't know those demos.
All right.
Anyway, so just so you know.
So here's what's interesting.
It's the cross tabs is what you want.
You don't want all the, you know, just the end result.
You want to break it down to see what the Obama bots versus the Romney bots are thinking and the Democrats versus the Republicans.
So when you look at believe global warming is a hoax, 61% of the people who voted for Romney believe it, 12% for Obama.
I'm like, okay.
That kind of makes sense.
These people are probably more prone to kind of the rhetoric about it.
But then we get, believe Bin Laden is alive.
Very close, actually.
Mitt Romney, 6%.
Barack Obama, 4%.
But most people really don't believe that he's alive.
Believe in the new world order.
Romney, 38%.
Obama, 16%.
It's not like they don't believe it at all.
Believe Saddam involved in 9-11.
19% of Obama bots.
35% Romney bots.
Believe vaccines cause autism.
Almost equal.
19% Obama bots.
22% Romney bots.
And here's my favorite.
Believe the moon landing is fake.
Democrats win, 6% to 5%.
Obama bots, so you can never call me a Republican again, because the Obama bots are the ones that believe this.
Believe aliens exist equal, 28% to 28%.
Believe CIA spread crack in inner cities, Romney bots 10%, Obama bots 17%.
Ooh, that's a big discrepancy.
Ooh, wait until we break it down by race.
Believe government adds fluoride to water for sinister reasons.
Equal footing, 8% for both.
I find this fascinating.
Apparently you do.
You don't like it?
No, keep going.
I'm interested.
Believe in JFK conspiracy, almost equal, 24 to 25%.
Believe government controls minds through television.
12% of Obama bots believe that versus 18% Romney bots.
Okay.
I'm glad that anybody believes that one.
Believe government allowed...
But they don't do it for sending us rays.
They do it just by constantly hounding us with brainwashed and washed over news stories that are just nothing but parroting whatever they tell you to say.
Well, the question is...
Yeah, they asked the question incorrectly because they think that there's like rays.
You're right.
That's why it's incorrect.
However, believe government allowed 9-11 to happen.
That would be the truther movement.
Is that right?
The truther movement.
The truthers, yeah.
Okay.
Romney bots, 8%.
Obama bots, 13%.
It's the Obama bots who are the truthers.
Oh, that's revealing.
Believe Bin Laden is alive.
This is by gender.
4% of men, 8% of women.
Believe the moon landing was fake.
Men, 6%.
Women, 7%.
So far, we need to be going after female Obama bots.
Believe moon landing was fake by party.
Again, Democrats, 7%.
Almost twice as much as the Republicans.
So what is Chris Matthews talking about?
He's talking out of his ass.
Believe the government allowed 9-11 to happen.
Democrats, so this is party affiliation, 14% to 8% Republicans.
Truthers are Democrats.
And here's, now, okay, this is the breakdown by race.
And they have Hispanic, white, African American, and other.
Hey, China's your other.
Go back to your restaurant.
Believe global warming is a hoax.
White people, 41%.
Hispanic, 34%.
And the category categorized as African American, 19%.
But here it is.
Believe Bin Laden is alive.
White, 4%.
I'll just say black because African American is too many syllables.
Black, 6%.
Hispanic, 15%.
Believe UFO crashed at Roswell, Hispanic, 27%.
Believe in New World Order, Hispanic, 10%.
John, believe moon landing was fake, Hispanic, 15%.
We're missing on the Hispanic audience.
Believe CIA spread crack in inner cities, 15% Hispanic.
Now, here's the one that shows me this is a correct, absolute correct poll.
Believe in lizard people.
Hispanic, 9%.
White, 3%.
African American, 0%.
I believe that to be correct.
I don't think black people believe in any of that.
Like, don't be ridiculous.
There's no lizard people.
So I believe this poll to be correct and accurate.
That does sound about right.
Almost everything you said, none of it was like, didn't make sense.
It made sense from the get-go.
And it also makes sense that they would twist it in such a sickening way, the way Chris Matthews did.
He's actually criticizing his own people.
Blames the Republicans for everything.
The final ones, of course, we had to put in some chemtrails.
Believe government spreads chemicals through plain exhaust.
Black people, zero.
White people, 5%.
Hispanic people, 8%.
Believe pharma and med invent new disease to make dollars.
Black, 12%.
White, 40%.
Hispanic, 19%.
And believe McCartney died and was replaced.
Hispanic, 8%.
White, 4%.
Black, who?
Black.
Zero.
Who?
Paul who?
Paul who?
What?
Puff Diddy who?
So I think we're really, you know, for those of you who like to propagate the formula of this program, please go out and hit your Hispanic neighbors in the mouth.
They need to be on board.
Yeah.
Hola!
I think we have very few Hispanic.
We have some, you know, overseas residents.
We better be speaking more Spanish.
Buenos dias para mañana.
Yes, like that.
Para mañana to you.
Right.
You don't speak a Spanish?
No, I don't speak a Spanish.
How disappointing.
I gotta get some...
Hey, by the way, play...
Back to Australia.
Just to give them a little more attention.
Yeah.
I have a couple of things I want to play.
One is just a little bit of a commercial, and I was thinking that I only got the end of it, but when I heard it, I said...
This is the commercial, Cole's voiceover.
I started you thinking, geez, you know, maybe Curry...
At some point, she'll just leave the country and move to Australia where he can get voiceover work because he's got to be better than this woman.
It's a dip.
It's a spread.
It's only 78 calories.
It's Choc Philly.
Did I mention it's new?
Did she say it's such a dick?
Is that how she started?
That's what it sounds like.
It's such a dick.
She's actually saying dip.
Oh, dip.
Yeah, no, the Shayla's there.
They got a special kind of stuff.
I think, though, I could probably make money as an American doing American voiceover.
There is a market for that overseas.
Yeah, I think so.
So now, so I'm watching this.
This is, again, the Today Show.
Today with the Australian version.
Oh, right, right, right.
Nothing to do with the Today Show here.
Oh, thank goodness.
And so I got the worst entertainment news report ever.
You have to listen to the whole thing because it's hilarious.
But I want you to judge this for me.
Okay, so this is an entertainment report.
Yeah, this is the worst one I've ever heard.
And here's the question.
Here's what we want to deal with.
You know when I do like a British accent or something and I can barely sustain some of these things?
To a Brit, it doesn't sound right.
There's always something wrong.
And you can tell if somebody's really got...
I believe that the woman reporting supposedly from Hollywood in this report...
Is an Australian faking a kind of a weird, sort of a mishmash accent.
It's kind of New England, a little southern twang.
It's a complete...
Fake accent that is supposed to sound American, but it's not even close.
I think it's just a complete mess.
But you tell me, but the report itself is even worse than her voice.
He's joined Twitter!
Finally, he sent out a couple of tweets and people just absolutely went nuts.
It's right there.
Really excited for you guys to see my directorial debut, Shreveport.
Info and pictures will be released exclusively.
Through my new Twitter, and then he followed that with another tweet promoting something else.
Somebody needs to have a talk with him.
Twitter is for juicy tidbits that I can use, not ads.
No, you need to mix it up a bit, don't you?
Someone's slower than Tim Gilbert on Twitter.
I love it.
Thanks for that, Michelle.
We'll catch you shortly.
Here are the top stories.
Got her.
Well, I think you're right.
I'd have to see her.
She almost sounds like she's from the South.
Yeah, but she's just, no.
If you saw her, it wouldn't help because she's very generic.
She would be, so if I were sitting in the ivory tower and watching this, I mean, it would literally, I would be like, let me see.
Hold on a second.
Get her off the air.
I never want to see her on again, ever.
So it looks like Gillardy, whatever her name is, Gilfoyle, what's the name of the head of Prime Minister of Australia, the hatchet-faced woman?
The hatchet-faced woman.
Well, it's Gillard, but we like to say Gilliard.
Gilliard.
I didn't realize that she got in office by...
She slept her way up to the top, didn't she?
No, she did a deal, apparently.
I didn't know this until I listened to this report, but you can hear how she got to where she is and why they put the carbon tax in.
But this carbon tax and the rest of it, she's doomed.
She's not getting back in.
I'm almost sure of it now.
What is the report, darling?
Art in the Greens.
Yeah, there's so much carbon in the titles.
Priority.
It's not the only thing that we'll do.
We've got to stop the boats.
We've got to get the budget under control.
There are many things that we will need to tackle in the first term of a coalition government, but the great breach of faith...
By this Prime Minister and this Government has been the carbon tax.
She promised us before the last election that there would never ever be a carbon tax.
She promised no carbon tax to win votes and then gave us a carbon tax to stay in the lodge under the secret deal with the Greens.
Now if we want to restore faith and trust in Government we have got to completely bury this fundamental betrayal.
You know, it just hit me.
It just kind of hit me.
So they took away the farmers' guns, everybody's guns in Australia in, was it 98?
It was some time ago.
Yeah.
And now they have a carbon tax.
And I'm going to relate the two, because, you know, 98 was, when was the big Crocodile Dundee craze?
Was that just before that?
It had to be.
Let me look it up.
I think Crocodile Dundee, not three, you know, one and maybe two.
I mean, because I went there in 1990.
And I was so impressed.
86 was the first movie.
Right.
So I was so impressed in the 90s.
In 1990, I did a documentary.
And I was just blown away by, you know, people were kind and sweet and liked to get their hands dirty, whether it was an office job or a farm job or whatever, just like to work and like...
Work hard, play hard, have fun, respect, but also there was some kind of healthy respect between men and women, because a lot of women who look really smoking hot could beat the crap out of you.
The whole thing was like a perfect mix between America...
It's like a really nice vibe, and I was so impressed that I've said for many years that I could easily fit in there.
It's actually a lot like Texas in many ways.
Maybe kind of Austin-y Texas, to be quite honest.
And I think it went away.
I think it was a castration of sorts to have this happen.
And we know that with the carbon tax, it is against the law for anyone, like in a restaurant, to say, well, we raised the price because of the carbon tax.
That's illegal, even though it's the truth.
And it's for what?
For something that is pretty unproven.
None of that, but he went on, a report started about how some of these small businesses in Brisbane are paying $30,000 a year in carbon taxes.
And of course, this creates a false economy.
Yeah, but it's not the businesses.
It's the slaves.
At the end of the day, it's the slaves.
Yeah, everybody has to pay more.
But it's like weird.
But if you look at the history and you look at Australia in World War II and in between the Great Wars, these were people not to be messed with.
And the government, this hatchet-faced person, she's leading this takeover.
That is sad.
It's sad to see it.
It feels, you know, the fighting spirit just feels like it's gone.
And it's because there's nothing to back it up, I guess.
Is that a logical conclusion or am I just making things up?
No, I don't think, I mean, from what I can tell...
I don't know if it's because of this crazy gun thing they managed to pull off where they just essentially confiscated all the guns after that one massacre, I guess.
Supposed massacre, whatever it was.
I don't know.
Maybe.
It's possible.
It does seem as though they've been slightly devolved.
I was hearing...
You know how they did that?
You know how they did that gun ban in Australia?
I was listening to the Prime Minister who did that.
Howard.
Was that Howard?
Yeah, it was Howard.
And the way they did it is they levied a tax for a gun buyback.
And it was billions of dollars.
So, if you really want to do it, and I think this would be an interesting experiment, and go ahead, I would say, try and put that into place.
They said, alright, we have to get rid of everyone's guns.
Australia is a federation.
It's a bit like the United States.
It only had, what, six states instead of 50.
Whatever.
but it's federated.
And so they knew they couldn't get all the states to go on board, so they did this huge tax.
So all the other slaves had to pitch in, pay money for everyone's gun to be bought back.
And it worked.
So they took 700,000 guns, which it says would be the equivalent of 40 million guns taken out of action in the United States.
So do that times 10.
So it would probably be a trillion dollars.
Something.
Something big.
Yeah.
But everyone got on board and they did it.
They all said, okay.
Interesting.
Reading the propaganda here, it's interesting.
They say Australia had 13 gun massacres in the 18 years before the 1996 gun reforms, but it has not suffered any mass shooting since.
Huh.
It seems like a...
I'm suspecting that that is somewhat of a contrived statistic.
Well, it doesn't matter because our war here is just purely the war on crazy.
And I have two clips to back this up.
And I want to reiterate very clearly, and you and I, John, will probably both be...
Just getting by and doing the show, but in maybe five years from now, I will say, please bring out the red book around episode 500, because I won't remember.
It'll be 502.
And I'll say, remember when we said that they were going to get the mental health records, and it's going to be your doctors now who will give up.
It'll be required.
Give up the mental health records so you can't have a gun, but it's going to be used for everything.
Sorry, you can't drive.
Sorry, you can't be a teacher.
I'm sorry, you can't even be near children.
You can't go to the pool.
You can't be in a public place.
You can't go to a theater.
You can't have any.
You just can't.
You can't have.
And that is the danger.
So our president is leading this common sense legislation that is the most dangerous thing I've ever seen.
And it's not about guns.
It really isn't.
It's about controlling your every single move.
And here's proof, as we hear now, of James Holmes that the psychiatrist knew, but it didn't get through the proper channels, that he was crazy.
We're learning about new warnings about accused Colorado theater gunman James Holmes from his psychiatrist.
Newly released documents say University of Colorado Denver psychiatrist Dr.
Lynn Felton warned campus police in June that Holmes had homicidal thoughts and was a danger to the public.
She also said Holmes began to send her threatening text messages after he stopped going to her for counseling.
Her warning came barely a month before the July 20th attack.
The documents also list items police collected from Holmes' apartment including 50 cans and bottles of beer, a Batman mask, paper shooting targets and prescription medications for anxiety and depression.
Last week, Holmes offered to plead guilty in the attack that killed 12 people and injured 70.
Prosecutors rejected the offer and said they would seek the death penalty.
So if this guy actually did it, and if he did act alone, and all that is up in the air, and it doesn't matter, we've been over that a hundred times with you, it is of course obvious that the medication for anxiety and depression might have something to do with it when you take into account that the actual disclaimer in the advertising says you may have suicidal thoughts.
But that's not what's going to be used here.
Instead, it's going to be, we need a system so that this psychiatrist could send the information to the appropriate authorities so we could take care of the slave right then and there.
And we'll take it one step further as your national treasure NPR is documenting, as now we can actually know in advance when your brain is wired incorrectly.
We're learning about new warnings about accused...
Sorry, crap.
Wrong one.
Didn't mean to do that.
So can you explain your research a bit more?
As I understand it, you're saying you may have found a way to use brain scans to predict whether criminals will break the law again.
Yes.
So we know that important decisions are made every day in the criminal justice system about, for example, whether to release an inmate, under what conditions to release an inmate, parole or probation.
And one of the things that parole boards typically do is some form of what's called a risk assessment to try to Identify the factors that are likely to promote desistance to future crime or persistence to future crime.
And one of those variables is impulsivity.
So if an offender scores high on impulsivity, for example, let's say you might use a pen and paper test to have them fill out and say that they buy things impulsively, they quit jobs frequently.
That might mean you would commit a crime impulsively.
Yeah, exactly.
It turns out it does.
It turns out that those scales can predict that an individual is likely to come back to prison quickly.
But you also might study little games or neuropsych tests, and those are going to also give you a picture of what's happening.
What we did, though, that was different was we said, well, those are trying to measure brain function by proxy.
And so what if we directly measure brain function using an MRI while they're doing those games and tasks?
And what we did is we found that the brain activity associated with impulsivity was incrementally predictive above those other measures, and it was really predictive.
Inmates who had low activity were up to four and a half times more likely to re-offend looking out four years than inmates that had higher levels of activity.
Break this down for me in layman's terms.
If you were sitting me down to do this test right now, what would you tell me?
I'd say that you're going to see a series of letters presented on the screen to you one at a time, and they're going to come fast and quickly.
And every time you see this letter X, I want you to press the button here.
But occasionally, there's going to be the letter K. And when you see the letter K, you're not supposed to press the button.
And it's fast and quick, and you're going to make mistakes, but you need to keep going as fast and accurate as you can.
And here we go.
Someone who sees the K, they're not supposed to put the button, but they can stay in control.
It means they're less impulsive and probably less likely to be a criminal, and you're watching this whole thing in the brain and what it looks like.
Exactly.
Exactly.
Well, aren't there other factors when it comes to criminal behavior?
I mean, I'm thinking drug, alcohol abuse, mental health.
I mean, how predictive is impulsivity when it comes to whether or not someone will commit a crime in the future?
So you're absolutely right.
right there are many factors that go into identifying the factors associated with risk for reoffending and in this study we did control for the effect of alcohol and substance abuse age education socioeconomic background and what was interesting was that the measures of brain function were still incrementally predictive above and beyond those other measures well we might as well play this jingle Before it's a crime, it's pre-crime.
Yeah, I actually had that clip, too.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
And I was listening.
It goes on.
And where the guy finally, at the very end of it, he says, oh, well, you know, we can't.
It's premature to, like, use this for any sort of thing.
It's information.
But you can see this coming down Broadway.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
And it's bogus.
I mean, the whole thing is nonsense.
I mean, People, I'd say, without any documentation, I would say the major reason that most people recommit crimes is because once they're in through that system and get back into the public, they can't get a job ever.
No.
They are completely marginalized as citizens.
They can't vote.
Their voting rights taken away.
Many of them, once the criminal records are on there, they can never get a job again.
And they have to resort to crime.
This is so phony that the whole thing is such a bunch of bullcrap.
But that guy, that voice, that creepy guy, I think he was at the party.
You know what I'm saying, right?
Yeah, I know.
That's exactly one of those guys.
Hey, what is the price of a globulin of gas today?
A globulin?
Yeah, we forget.
I would say...
Can you look it up?
I can tell you what it is around here.
I think it's about...
No, no, no.
I'm sorry.
I mean liquid natural gas.
I'm talking about the big stuff that throws through the pipes, the pipelines.
Yeah, because while you're looking it up, let's scare the people more about nuclear energy...
Some other news now.
The company operating the damaged Fukushima nuclear power plant in Japan says that up to 120 tonnes of radioactive water may have leaked into the ground.
May have leaked into the ground.
A specimen said a leak had been detected in one of the tanks used to store water to keep the reactors cool.
May!
May!
Let's just give you some breaking news about what's happening in Japan.
It's being reported by news agencies that the cooling system has failed for a storage pool of fuel for one of the reactors at the nuclear plant at Fukushima, which was damaged two years ago by the tsunami.
No immediate danger from the failure, according to nuclear regulators.
But be afraid, breaking news, no danger.
Be afraid, be afraid, breaking news, breaking news.
Oh, radiation, Fukushima, no news, no danger.
Be afraid, be afraid.
If my memory is correct, the same thing happened or in a similar place about two weeks ago as well.
The alarm went off on Friday afternoon in reactor number three.
And the cause is still under investigation.
Natural gas is now over 4.413, up 4.5%.
Did I not tell you to invest?
I told you.
Big move.
I told you to invest.
I said it's going up.
Now it's been kept down artificially.
It's also going to turn out that we don't have as much as we thought we would.
So this is going to be a bonanza.
Putin is jacking off as we speak.
My God, I have a map of...
It's in the show notes under pipelines.
Follow the pipes.
A map of Russia's pipelines?
That's not even funny.
And now they did the deal with the Israelis?
So they're doing the gas from Leviathan?
I love those guys.
I love the Israelis and the Russians.
It's like, nothing personal, dude.
No, it's just business.
I don't give a crap.
I don't care about any political...
Just...
Hey, we don't care if...
We'll pretend on this side that you're giving stuff to Iran, but just, you know, you do the pipeline up to Europe from here.
It's just incredible.
Incredible.
Yeah, well, it's part of the giant...
Scam?
The giant game that we're not a part of?
Giant scam that we...
Yeah, that we...
Nothing.
No benefit to us.
Zero.
Zero.
And hanging out with all those rich elites that you're hanging out with, you think you should be able to get something out of it.
No.
I don't play the game.
This is why.
Never, ever, ever in a million years.
No.
No, no, no, no, no.
That's not going to happen.
I was like, yeah, just park around the corner.
Hey, when we come to your house, we should park around the corner.
Not on our street.
Yeah, that one.
Yeah, please.
Hey, we did the bird flu report last show.
Do you remember any of the statistics?
How many people, you know, this new H5N20 or whatever it is.
Do you remember anything about that report at all?
Any details in your head that remained?
A couple people died?
What do you remember?
I remember it's the H7N9, I believe.
A new strain of bird flu.
I think it had killed a man and a woman.
And it was transmitted from bird foul to human.
And it was the start, I think, of a new fear-mongering campaign.
What do you have?
Yeah, but it seems like, I don't know if that's true, because the fear-mongering campaign, parallel to the one in the United States, has different stats in Canada.
Oh.
Which is another thing that bothers me about the media.
I mean, you know, nobody seems to want to play the same story.
They all have their own little twist on it.
And it's like, this is so different.
Listen to this.
A new strain of bird flu has proven deadly in China.
But just how much of a risk does the latest virus pose?
The CBC's Kelly Crowe has that story.
This is good, John, because back-to-back, I'll play my bird flu report, which I believe is a...
I don't know if it's BBC or if it's US, but I'll play it right after, okay?
We can compare.
Good?
Yeah.
It's happening again.
An influenza virus has jumped the species barrier from birds to humans.
This week, Chinese authorities confirmed at least 16 cases of severe respiratory infection and at least six deaths.
But there is reassuring news.
So far, the virus does not seem to be good at jumping from person to person.
Okay, 16 have it, six dead?
Yeah, six and six.
Sixty and six.
In Shanghai, health authorities slaughtered 20,000 chickens to limit the spread of the potentially deadly new flu strain that appears to be transmitted from birds to people.
Cases have occurred over a wide range of southern China, so it seems many birds are infected.
The big fear is that the virus could spread among people, causing a global pandemic like the one in 1918.
Clearly a better story.
That killed 20 to 40 million.
In many ways this is like a suddenly smoking volcano where we have no idea whether it's going to go quiet in a couple of weeks and not be heard again for many, many years or whether it's going to erupt.
So far the testing is reassuring.
Results show almost no person-to-person transmission.
Other good news.
The Chinese government has been quickly sharing information with the world.
That's a far cry from ten years ago when it tried to hide an outbreak of a different virus called SARS that spread around the world, sickening 8,000 and killing 800 before it died out.
I love this guy who talks like this on SARS. China has really provided for a model response.
It's been timely.
It's been comprehensive.
Several countries are now checking travelers for illness, preparing to have masks and medication in place, and restricting imports of Chinese poultry.
The United States and other countries...
That was abuse of that chicken.
Yes, okay.
are taking the first steps to develop a vaccine.
Health officials say as long as new infections appear, the chances of a more dangerous mutation persist.
They are watching closely and hoping that doesn't happen.
Okay, so first of all, this is clearly the superior report because it doesn't mention any of the statistics that we heard.
Oh no, why bother?
Because they're too low.
So we refer back to 1918, which I think was called the...
Was that the Spanish flu?
Spanish flu killed 40 million or something.
So that has nothing to do with this, but okay.
And then they talk about a vaccine which is being developed.
See, this is why this report is far superior.
Far superior.
Well, I thought you were going to pull one out where they came up with this number two, which is the one that they kept.
Well, that was last week.
That was last week.
Yeah, well, maybe.
Now they don't have any numbers.
Okay, well.
Who needs numbers?
In Gitmo Nation East, though, there's a measles outbreak.
Oh!
Yeah, it's according to our producers over there.
This is on the news everywhere.
I have a quick word with Sarah, who's brought Phoebe along.
Now, she was due her vaccination because she's three years and four months.
You've decided to do it a little...
Yep, time to shoot some poison into the slave!
A bit early, tell me why.
She's starting school on the 16th so we just wanted to get in there early before she starts school really.
How worrying has this outbreak been for you and for other parents?
Personally I don't know anyone with measles but I know of people that know people.
Oh boo!
What kind of a report is this?
I know people who know people?
I know people who know of people.
She doesn't even know people who knew people.
She knows people who knows of people.
And she immediately takes her little human resource and goes, stands in line for a shot.
What an idiot.
How sad is it?
It's sad, people.
Take it from me.
I know people who know of people.
I know people who know of people.
That's called corner gossip.
Boy, I think we've really run the gamut today, John.
We've covered a lot of ground.
Oh, I did want to mention this.
As you mentioned, gold is in free fall.
It went up.
Of course it went up, like $30.
Of course it did.
It was a buying opportunity.
However, the Dutch bank ABN Amro has sent out a note to all of its clients and informed them that their, quote, gold investments are no longer physically deliverable.
Isn't this like a typical sign?
It's not good.
I think that's really bad if the bank says, we cannot deliver your gold physically.
Yeah, it means there's no gold to be delivered.
Would you like some tungsten instead?
But doesn't that mean the whole gold market is now bogative?
It's always bogative.
I think the Fort Knox thing, somebody explained, I think still is, maybe you're the one that came up with the idea that people want to see their investments and they want to see their gold that we store in Fort Knox because we stole a lot of gold.
And so you take them down there and you...
And you shoot them.
Hey, Germany's coming in!
Guy runs down and changes all the signs to Germany.
No, it's like those license plates that James Bond has, like...
Yeah.
Just flips over to Germany.
Germany.
The Queen's coming!
Okay, finally then, and I just thought this was kind of funny.
So remember on Thursday we talked about the Rewards for Justice program has now put up $5 million that can lead to the capture or arrest of Joseph Kony.
Right.
Of the Lord's Resistance Army, the guy whose Coney video, remember that?
Oh, man, whatever happened to that guy, the guy who freaked out and ran around naked and then jerking off on camera?
Oh, yeah, we forgot about that guy.
The guy who made the Coney video.
He was running around naked.
The giant voice system told them to go run around naked and jerk off.
That was cool.
We need more news stories like that.
So, you know, we were kind of like, why did this happen?
Well, as it turns out...
I'm reading the BBC story here.
Joseph Coney tops the list of alleged war criminals wanted by the International Criminal Court.
However...
Uganda has put the hunt for leader Kony on hold.
The decision was not ours, but came from the African Union.
We do what the African Union says.
If it tells us to pull our troops or say we should continue the operation, then we obey.
Military operations carried out with the U.S. Remember we sent over like 150 consultants?
Remember that?
Yeah.
Also been pulled back.
Stopped.
They're no longer searching for them.
So instead of searching for him, we've put up a $5 million reward.
So what do you make of that?
Well, obviously the guy doesn't even exist anymore.
I think we need to have some new villain or something, and this is like tying up a loose end.
Or maybe, because they're going into Congo, maybe we're not going to invade that country right now.
Maybe it's another one.
We have to come up with a different guy.
But for all intents and purposes, Kony's dead.
But I find it kind of interesting that, you know, where's the video now?
You know, where's the big outrage over that President Obama is pulling back his troops that he authorized personally through executive order?
They could go in and go get him.
Clean him up.
In fact, let me get...
You know what?
This will be worth it, probably.
Let me just see what...
I know we had a clip of President Obama talking about Coney and how important it was that we got this guy.
Someone's got to call him out on this.
It's too bad Jake Tapper went to CNN. Because you knew Jake would do it.
Yeah, it's a shame.
I don't even see Coney stuff anymore.
Crap.
Oh well, I guess.
I'll have to look for it for Thursday's show.
I don't have it.
Coney goes berserk.
Oh wait, here, GPS. Well, that's right.
Oh man, we had Clooney talking about Coney, Angelina Jolie talking about Coney, the Coney mission.
Wow.
This was such a big deal, and where is everybody now?
Hold on a second, here's Clooney.
Let me ask you about another work criminal, Coney.
This video that's come out by now, I don't know, 150 million people, even more people than watch your movies.
Do you think that ultimately it'll make a difference because you've tried to focus your activism in very specific...
Okay, who gives a crap?
Here's Rihanna.
And to get the youth involved with something like that.
I'd love to be an outlet, something that can help spread the word, even if it's the 14 million fans on Twitter.
Alright, idiot.
I want, I'd like indicted war criminals to enjoy the same level of celebrity as me.
Okay.
Because now, we know what to do.
Here it is.
Ready?
In order for Kony to be arrested this year, the Ugandan military has to find him.
I don't think I know anybody that doesn't hate Joseph Kony.
Anybody who works in the international field has been aware.
I've been to Uganda and Congo and been to the International Criminal Court myself and spoken with them.
Where's the outrage now, Clooney, Jolie?
Where's the outrage, Rihanna?
Huh?
Where is it?
The man behind the popular online video calling for the arrest of Ugandan rebel leader Joseph Kony has been detained and taken to hospital in the US. Jason Russell and his charity Invisible Children made the film Kony 2012.
Witnesses say he was seen naked and screaming at drivers in San Diego in California.
His group says the controversy surrounding the video has taken an emotional toll on Russell.
Yeah, yeah.
What controversy?
Because the controversy.
There's no controversy?
That was almost a year ago, March 15th.
Yeah, well, I guess they didn't get him in 2012, did they?
Nope.
Or they did, or somebody ate him.
In fact, it was called Coney 2012.
The guy may have been cooked and divided up in a large meal.
Invisible Children, that was the name of the charity.
Do you think that's still around, Invisible Children?
Oh.
Let's see.
You get a bunch of money from all these.
Oh, they got money from Oprah.
Oprah, I tell you.
Yeah.
Invisible Children.
Yeah, it's still there.
InvisibleChildren.com.
.com?
Yeah.
Not.org?
No.
Well, maybe there is a.org, too.
Let's see.
Huh.
Yeah, this is the one about Kony, so let's see if there's a.org.
Oh, action alert.
Ten days ago, the government in Central African Republic was overthrown by...
Oh, interesting.
.org is the same.
Ah, hold on, John.
Do you get the action alert pop-up?
Yeah, right in front.
Action step.
Wait, ten days ago, the government in Central African Republic was overthrown by the Salika rebels.
Because of this, the mission to stop the LRA is in jeopardy.
Oh.
Oh.
So there's a change in African policy.
Something changed.
I told you something changed.
Something changed.
Hmm.
We did something on this African Union a lot two or three years ago being some sort of a scam.
Yeah.
I don't remember any of it.
I mean, it was such a while back, but apparently this has something to do with it.
It's like that European Union thing.
I've heard of it.
Yeah.
It doesn't seem to be too good.
They have a flag with skulls.
And they can take your money, your house, your car, your clothes, as long as it's in the public interest.
Print that out, people.
Go to 502.nashownotes.com so you can show people that it's perfectly legal and agreed to according to the European human rights and five protocols.
I'll take your human rights and raise you five protocols that you can arrest me if I'm drunk If I've got a shopping cart, I live in the European Union.
LGY. All right, everybody.
Thank you so much.
Please think of us for Thursday.
If anything, to get John to stop doing that, donate.
Dvorak.org slash NA. Thank you very much for tuning in.
Those of you in the chat room live, keeping them honest.
Coming to you from the Travis Heights hideout, where I'm going to go have dinner with my buddy Frank Karachi and looking forward to it.
Hey, Karachi.
He's not a douchebag.
In the morning, I'm Adam Curry.
Indeed.
And from northern Silicon Valley, where I finally got the dog poop off my feet, I'm John C. Dvorak.
We'll talk to you again on Thursday, right here on No Agenda.
The best podcast in the universe.
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