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May 6, 2012 - No Agenda

02:47:50

406: Zombie Walk

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Time	Text
	Turn out that being a podcaster means you're clinically insane.
	Adam Curry, John C. Dvorak.
	It's Sunday, May 6, 2012.
	Time for your Gitmo Nation Media Assassination, episode 406.
	This is No Agenda.
	Celebrating Election Day here at Camofo in the capital of the drone star state, Austin Tejas.
	In the morning, everybody, I'm Adam Curry.
	And from northern Silicon Valley, plain and simple, I'm John C. Dvorak.
	Greg Vaughn and Buzzkill.
	In the morning.
	Stinging, stinging, stinging.
	Wow.
	Stinking in?
	Stinging, stinging, stinging, stinging.
	I'm really out of whack today.
	Why?
	I have early prognosis.
	I have mold allergies.
	Are you familiar with this?
	The black mold?
	Well, just an allergy for mold, which apparently in Austin, Texas, is rampant this time of year.
	Huh.
	Yeah, and it's not...
	My wife's kind of allergic to mold.
	And the feeling is like you have the flu, but you don't really, but then you...
	Yeah, it sounds like gravel in your lungs?
	No, I don't have that.
	I have dizziness.
	I'm actually dizzy.
	You're dizzy?
	Yeah.
	I slept all day yesterday.
	I'm really not feeling too well.
	I have low energy.
	It's like you have a flu.
	How do you know it's mold allergy?
	Maybe you're sick.
	I don't.
	I said early prognosis.
	From who?
	From Mickey.
	Dr.
	Mickey.
	Surely you've heard of her.
	Perhaps you're just sick.
	Yeah, but of what?
	I mean, I've never had dizziness, ever.
	You may have an inner ear infection.
	Well, that's...
	But one of the symptoms, apparently, of mold infection is dizziness.
	Oh.
	Yeah.
	It is?
	Yeah.
	It doesn't make sense.
	Maybe you have a brain tumor.
	I mean, you got any other ideas?
	It's not a tumor.
	What?
	I'm not liking it though.
	It's very frustrating.
	I had this crazy dream.
	I slept all day yesterday, and then I did some prep, whatever I could do, until about 12.
	Then I went back to bed.
	I swear to God, I don't know how this happens, but I was dreaming that I was tracking the Kardashians, and I had to record what they were saying, and it was being automatically translated to text.
	It was a nightmare.
	It was a nightmare.
	It was more like Chris.
	Chris Jenner.
	He was really, really off, man.
	And that is a nightmare to me.
	And we had a storm last night.
	Were you hanging out with them?
	No.
	Well, no.
	How were you tracking them?
	Were you in a van outside their house with headphones on, listening in on their conversations based on the bugs all over the place?
	You really want to know?
	You really want to know my dreams?
	Well, this one, here's a good one.
	Okay, so last night we didn't have the super moon.
	We had the super storm.
	So we couldn't even see the moon.
	And we had huge lightning and massive rain.
	And, I mean, you know, one of these are like little house on the prairie where the whole house lights up.
	It's just continuous.
	And in my dream, I was walking down the hill into the water, and I turned right, and three houses down, I could see Kris Jenner sitting there at like five in the morning, and I said, oh, she must be doing a deal with New York.
	I mean, this is the crap that is in my...
	And this made nothing but perfect sense to you.
	No, I woke up sweating in a cold sweat.
	That was...
	I don't know.
	Dr.
	Freud, please help me out on this one.
	Well, I can tell you this much.
	You've always been a huge...
	A huge Kardashian fan.
	Well, you've always been a huge fan of reality shows.
	Yeah.
	And you would probably gravitate subconsciously to the most popular of them, which would be one of them, that and the Snooki show.
	Hey, in the morning to you, John C. Dvorak.
	In the morning to you, Adam Curry.
	In the morning to all ships at sea, all subs in the water, and all boots on the ground.
	And all of our human resources who have shown up once again here on a Sunday morning in our chat room at noagendastream.com, noagendachat.net.
	Happy Election Day, everybody!
	Today we've got elections in Greece, in France, in Italy, in Egypt, in Armenia.
	You won't see any of that on American television, by the way.
	There'll be none of that.
	Particularly because there's hundreds of people rioting in Cairo, which has gone all the way to Suez, by the way, which is...
	Might put the Suez Canal in danger.
	I don't know what's going to happen there.
	And where's Anderson Pooper on Tahrir Square?
	Get your ass over there, Anderson.
	We need some reporting.
	Same in Armenia.
	Well, apparently you had a big explosion in one of the valleys.
	Yeah, yesterday, yeah, in Armenia.
	But, you know, we're so poor here in the United States, we don't know any of this.
	We might hear about France, maybe, if we're lucky.
	And Greece, I doubt it.
	Will we get results by the time we're done with the show today?
	You think we'll know who...
	I doubt it.
	Because all the news reports are, right-wingers, right-wingers, it's all going to be right-wing, bunch of Nazis, fascists, all of Europe is going to be Nazis, Hitler's rising from the dead.
	Well, except for France.
	It's going to be a communist!
	Commies!
	Yeah.
	Meanwhile, there...
	What was that crazy thing I was reading?
	I don't know if this is...
	This has got to be some kind of plant.
	This was from The Express, The Daily Express, which is not a highly rated newspaper in the United Kingdom.
	EU plot to scrap Britain.
	That's the headline.
	Senior Eurocrats are secretly plotting to create a super powerful EU president to release their dream of abolishing Britain, we can reveal.
	A covert group of EU foreign ministers has drawn up plans for merging the jobs currently done by Haiku Herman Van Rompuy, president of the European Council Starfleet Command, and Jose Manuel Barroso, president of the European Commission.
	The new bureaucrat, who would not be directly elected by voters, duh, that's probably the only thing true here, is set to get sweeping control over the entire EU and force member countries into ever greater political and economic union.
	Just draw a mustache on that dude and then we're done.
	This can't be based on any truth, do you think?
	No, that doesn't sound right.
	That just sounds like, you know, just making people nuts at the Express.
	We're talking about making people nuts in London.
	They brought in, into the Thames, the world, the British, the largest British battleship.
	Well, it's just an aircraft carrier.
	It's huge.
	It's an aircraft carrier?
	The HMS Ocean.
	Yeah, because they have to be able to launch against...
	So here, play HMS Ocean in London, part one.
	As London prepares to host the Olympic Games, another large-scale security exercise has taken place on the River Thames.
	The Royal Navy's largest warship, HMS Ocean, it sailed into the heart of London, where during the Games it will be part of the task force protecting the city against possible terror attacks.
	On board, the BBC's defence correspondent, Jonathan Beale.
	Oh.
	laughs The Navy's largest warship was never designed for this.
	Only last year, HMS Ocean was launching attacks over Libya.
	Today, she was trying to navigate the narrow passages of the Thames.
	This, the hardest part, with no room for mistakes.
	Just managing to squeeze through the Thames barrier.
	Her crew's already been rehearsing how to deal with any potential attack.
	This thing must be a bitch to Parallel Park.
	You have to back it up a little bit because they're doing a test and you can hear the guy on the radio.
	Yeah, he says being attacked.
	I heard it.
	He said, we've got fighter jets incoming being attacked.
	Yeah, we've got fighter jets coming in.
	What?
	Are they telling me that the Olympic Games are expecting fighter jets to be coming in?
	Would you mind me to interject with a little clip that I picked up?
	About what's going on in London.
	It's not just fighter jets, baby.
	It's a lot more.
	This aircraft carrier, that's just the tip of the iceberg.
	Well, I also have my second clip, which is part of this, which is a continuation.
	I bet it contains the same stuff you've got.
	Hit it.
	All right, well, I'll play yours.
	Mine first?
	Okay.
	Preparing for the worst-case Olympic scenario.
	Right there, I'm like, oh, yes.
	Worst-case Olympic scenario.
	This is the military and police dealing with a simulated terrorist attack during a training exercise earlier this year.
	We love those exercises, don't we?
	That's always when the good stuff happens.
	And this week London will see more intensive security testing.
	They're calling it Olympic Guardian.
	Britain trying to show the world that it's ready to protect the Games and also hoping to deter terrorists.
	We have got to make sure that we have got a plan in place that can deal with the unlikely but very serious threat that might exist to the Olympic Park.
	The sort of 9-11 threat that everybody knows about.
	Oh, love it!
	9-11 threat.
	We're going to shoot down that gherkin?
	That big pickle building?
	Is that what they're going to do with a plane?
	And also for the lower, slower type of target.
	I love that.
	The lower, slower type of target.
	You know what that's referring to, don't you?
	The homeless.
	No, drones that will squirt poison.
	Yeah, that's what they're worried about.
	The lower, slower targets.
	Which might pop up closer to...
	This might pop up.
	This might...
	Oh, what popped up there?
	Oh, a drone!
	...the Olympic part which we would need to intervene.
	So that's why from Wednesday there'll be fighter jets training in the skies over London.
	Yeah.
	And why this block of flats is one of six potential sites which could house surface-to-air missiles.
	Yeah.
	Man pads.
	Yeah, baby.
	For Londoners, military scenes much closer to home than usual.
	The Royal Navy's HMS Ocean will berth at Greenwich.
	The skies above the Olympic Park will be a no-fly zone this summer.
	And the last resort is for snipers in helicopters to shoot pilots on rogue planes.
	Now, let me say something.
	We're going to sit in helicopters, and when the plane comes by, they're going to shoot the pilot.
	That's a dumb report.
	The play of mine is very similar.
	...with any threats from the air, while police and marines in fastboats will scan the river.
	The arrival of this warship in London is not just a reminder that the Olympics is a major sporting event, it's also a massive security operation.
	And the military presence is not just confined to here on the Thames.
	Up in the skies above London, there'll be Navy, Army and RAF helicopters, some manned with snipers patrolling the skies, along with Typhoon fast jets, all poised to deal with any potential threat.
	It's the plans to deploy missiles close to the venue, and in this case directly on top of a block of flats, that have caused the greatest controversy.
	And prompting the question, is all this military hardware necessary?
	You know, we need to work on our own reporting from the Olympics this year.
	We need some people that are going to tell us what's going on, get some photos for us.
	Well, what we need is we need one of those...
	Boots on the ground is what we need.
	Well, besides that, we need one of those sounds that you're inside the helicopter.
	Here we are reporting from the London side of the Olympics.
	John, what did you say on the ground, John?
	That's right!
	The HMS London is down below!
	Can you see it, John?
	Tom, can you see the snipers?
	It's going to be a great Olympic season.
	We're going to do just fine.
	Billions of dollars.
	Olympic fever.
	They are squandering in a bad economic situation.
	By the way, London is not on the ocean.
	It's inland.
	And so why do you need all this?
	Why are you bringing an aircraft carrier into the middle of the city?
	And why do you have all these jets flying around when you have all this lead time?
	Yeah.
	I mean, if there was an attack by some alien...
	You want to be out a little bit.
	You'd think there would be someone that would notice by the time it got to London.
	They do have radar along the coast, you know.
	Yes, they do.
	They do.
	They've got South End, we've got...
	Who are they kidding with this crap?
	Or are they trying to imply that there's a jet fighter, an Al-Qaeda jet fighter that's already...
	Near the city, ready to take off?
	Is that what they're saying?
	Nobody's noticed this thing?
	Yeah, on the Isle of Wight.
	Said Gatwick?
	You know, remember the Olympics?
	It used to be like you'd see these great stories on television of heroes who worked, you know, a guy had one arm and, you know, then he overcame all the incredible, the odds were against him and we had a national anthem playing and, you know, it was all about the sport and now it's all about who's got the biggest gun.
	Pretty crazy.
	This is stupid.
	Yeah.
	The British should be embarrassed by this.
	Yeah, they should be up in arms.
	Well, they get shot from a sniper in a helicopter.
	This sounds more like crowd control than it does anything else, if you ask me.
	I think this is a cover-up for what they're really up to.
	Well, what could that be?
	I think there's plans.
	Anarchists and others are planning to protest the Olympics, and they want to be there in force.
	It's not about Al-Qaeda.
	It's about the British public.
	Here's something for an idea.
	So maybe they want to, everyone who they arrest, they're going to put on the aircraft carrier.
	It would be like a giant floating jail.
	That's not a bad idea.
	There's lots of room on an aircraft carrier.
	And by the way, when they brought it in, I was watching them bring it through.
	And I don't know what the Thames gates are.
	They're these weird looking things that somehow the ship can get through.
	I don't know.
	Do they close or what is that?
	Do you know anything about it?
	No.
	No, nothing.
	Anyway, so it gets in.
	I was looking at the thing as it came in.
	There were no planes on it.
	Oh, really?
	I didn't notice any planes.
	I mean, there may be an under...
	I'm sure it's like modern aircraft carriers, all the planes are below deck.
	Well, let me ask you this question.
	They bring them up on an elevator, but still.
	If you're on the Thames, are they going to actually...
	Do we have video of them launching jets from the aircraft carrier in the Thames?
	I doubt it.
	I really doubt they're going to do that.
	Landing on an aircraft carrier is no small feat by itself.
	Now you're going to land on an aircraft carrier in the Thames?
	That's a recipe for disaster.
	Whoop, tower bridge!
	Whoop, hold on!
	I'm going with floating jail.
	That's what I'm going with.
	Meanwhile, John, back to another war zone.
	The War on Chickens.
	You know, it's amazing, John C. Dvorak, when you first noticed this new theater of combat.
	The war on chicken is just, it's unbelievable what is taking place right before our very eyes unfolding in the...
	Yeah, and it's a good thing since we have that clip.
	Yes, we need to use it often.
	Okay, number one in the war on chicken.
	This is very disturbing news.
	Warren Buffett has now purchased the largest chicken processing factory in the Netherlands.
	Oh, we talked about that operation on the show, a recent show, remember?
	We talked about the robots that run it.
	Yep.
	So he has now purchased this, and they also sell machines that process the chickens, and these machines are sold in more than 90 countries.
	So, the operation in the Netherlands not only uses the machines, but they make the machines.
	Yes, they make the machines, yeah.
	Oh, that's a good investment.
	Yeah, so who knows?
	Because Americans, we don't have enough Mexicans anymore.
	We need machines to take over from the Mexicans.
	But here's something that really did kind of disturb me.
	Have you ever heard of runting stunting syndrome?
	Is it anything like cunning rents?
	Well, you know, so every single Saturday we go to the market, and when we want to buy a whole chicken or something, Mickey will email Jane, who runs the chicken stand, and here's the email she sent back.
	Depressing news.
	We will not be at the market this weekend or next weekend.
	Everything had been going exceptionally well until we put out a flock to field three weeks ago, and the birds just stopped growing.
	They were active and eating, but not gaining any weight.
	After doing a ton of research, we've discovered that our industry has identified something called RSS, which made me kind of chuckle, of course, runting stunting syndrome, but none of the experts has a clue as to what it is or what to do about it.
	It appears in the winter and spring and disappears as quickly as it arrives.
	Now, I do know there's a bad outbreak on the East Coast and that another local producer is battling the issue as well.
	And that our promise is only to sell you the best chicken.
	Of course, we won't be back until we got good chickens.
	And there's very little about it on the Book of Knowledge.
	I've never heard of it.
	And we own chickens.
	I'm telling you, it's a war on chickens.
	Someone's stopping them from growing.
	Researchers have not reproduced all the field symptoms of RSS experimentally and believe that several viruses, bacteria, and other pathogens may be involved.
	Rheovirus was originally thought to be the cause of RSS, but adenovirus, enterovirus, rotavirus, parvovivirus, parvovirus, and others may also be involved.
	They really don't know.
	However, everyone agrees RSS often appears suddenly and disappears equally suddenly, making it difficult to determine effective control measures.
	This is weird.
	And I think, again, you've just called it Red Book, Cross It Off, War on Chicken.
	Huh, that's weird.
	Runting Stunting Syndrome.
	Never heard of it.
	There's like two pages on Google and all of it's from 2010.
	Are you actually paging through Wikipedia?
	You haven't printed it out?
	Isn't that the way you look up things in Wikipedia?
	I have them all bound.
	Oh, hello!
	I still have the Internet Yellow Pages book somewhere.
	Remember that?
	Oh, yeah.
	Hey, it's all he needs.
	The Yellow Pages of the Internet.
	One handy volume.
	Some brilliant idiot.
	Made money on it, too.
	Oh, yeah.
	I was a moneymaker, that book.
	I'm in it.
	I loved it.
	Sergio.
	He's one of your dudes.
	London is actually below sea level, which forces the city to use barriers to prevent the river from rising and flooding the city.
	That is what you saw, barriers that can be risen.
	The UK no longer has an aircraft carrier with catapults, which is the system the US uses.
	Oh, Harrier jets, right.
	You've got vertical takeoff, right?
	With Harrier jets.
	Yeah.
	Not at all noisy.
	No, probably the noisiest jet operating today.
	You'll be able to hear it throughout the city.
	I have to say, I like the catapult system better.
	Okay, I got plenty of stuff in the Scampaign category.
	One of our producers pointed out this awesome...
	I mean, ABC, NBC, and CBS have really been going to bat.
	I got a lot of emails from people saying, wait a minute, these Bin Laden letters, all the treasure trove they found that is Abbottabad compound, which, by the way, not a single network pronounces properly.
	They all stay still Abbottabad.
	It's Abbottabad.
	I heard that on No Agenda months ago.
	Yeah.
	These CIA documents had already been produced, and they kind of tested the waters with them in, what was it, Time Magazine and Washington Post?
	They were the only ones that had access to them.
	And now they've opened up.
	Of the 10,000 documents, 17 have been released.
	But did you see that NBC report with Obama and Brian Williams?
	No, I missed that one.
	Oh, my goodness.
	Oh, that's the one, yeah, right.
	No, I knew about it, but I didn't get it.
	Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, okay.
	So they have this whole report.
	I've clipped out a couple of pieces.
	It starts off, you've got Brennan, two other douchebags, I forget who the names are, And immediately, it's one big commercial.
	On Sunday morning, May 1st of last year, at 11 a.m., members of the national security team started arriving in the Situation Room for what they knew would be a long haul.
	The Navy SEALs were waiting for Nightfall to launch the attack, and everyone knew a mistake at this stage of the game would mean scrubbing the mission.
	And so nothing, including the provisions for the Situation Room, was left to chance.
	Is it true you ate Costco food as to not draw any attention?
	And multiple pizzerias were contacted as to prevent any one large order from drawing attention to the gathering?
	Mr.
	McDonough, can you confirm those food details?
	As a big fan of Costco, I can confirm.
	What is this?
	I'm a big fan of Costco.
	Costco, by the way, is a large contributor to the...
	Oh yeah, they're notorious for giving Obama a bunch of money.
	Yeah, so they're like plugging away here at Costco.
	And they just keep it going.
	Costco, Costco.
	Is there a Costco in Pakistan?
	What is the point of this?
	No, no, this is for the situation room.
	Oh.
	Yeah, they had a...
	There's a Costco in Washington, D.C., and that's the pizza they eat?
	No, no, no.
	They contacted pizzerias, but they had...
	It's a commercial, because they have a whole kitchen in the White House.
	I get it.
	I just think of the logic.
	What does the public think?
	I guess it makes you think about it.
	It's just a commercial.
	What do you mean, what does the public think?
	The public just thinks, wow, those guys are...
	Yeah, please.
	Don't overanalyze it.
	It's a commercial.
	Hello?
	Did we declassify that?
	We did not.
	It's a good question.
	That's not a good question.
	Good question, boss.
	Good question, boss.
	Suck ass.
	So then President Obama takes Brian Williams, who used to do local news pieces on NBC in New York about plastic surgeons.
	Now the guy is like the most important journalist in the world.
	And what's funny is he never got his nose fixed.
	That's the irony to me.
	Oh, okay.
	And, well, President Obama had his own commercial, which, because he actually does a tour of the Situation Room.
	And they've got the pictures, you know, the pictures we all saw with Hillary Clinton with her hand up to her mouth.
	Yeah, sniffing her finger.
	They're on the wall.
	Yeah, I know.
	I don't know.
	It's like, really?
	That's, okay.
	All right.
	Good.
	Now, what does a typical Navy SEAL look like to you, John?
	When you envision a Navy SEAL... Guy trained to drop from a helicopter to go in and kill the Bin Ladens.
	I'm imagining, what's his name, the ex-governor of Minnesota in tights.
	Right.
	Jesse Ventura in tights.
	Jesse Ventura in a wetsuit.
	You could not be further from the truth, my friend.
	No?
	We're accustomed to operating in the dark.
	They were accustomed to landing in compounds where they weren't sure what was behind closed doors.
	These guys were all trained to do that.
	And a lot of them had as much gray hair as you and me.
	Yeah.
	And, you know, if you had passed them on the street, and if they were in civilian clothes, you might have thought they were accountants or doctors or, you know, worked at Home Depot, you wouldn't know.
	Doctors, accountants, or maybe just the guy who works at Home Depot.
	That's what the Navy SEALs look like, John.
	Wow.
	What a slam.
	Come on.
	Home Depot.
	Hey, Seals, good work.
	You look like you're working at Home Depot.
	I guess maybe they do.
	That's where they're going to end up.
	Let's put it that way.
	It's nuts.
	It's nuts.
	Anyway, the Situation Room.
	We're taken into the highest of high-tech areas of the White House.
	What kind of high-tech stuff do you think they have in there?
	They got a couple of monitors and I think a remote control.
	Oh, now you've missed the most important part.
	Upon entering the Situation Room, everyone has to surrender their electronics.
	They're placed in a metal-lined wooden box that was once a cigar humidor.
	It's a bright but sparse series of rooms with low ceilings and suede-covered walls for sound insulation.
	Whoa!
	And in every room, digital clocks read out the time zones, including the President's location at any given moment.
	That's it.
	It's got suede cover walls and clocks.
	We have clocks everywhere.
	We will take care of you.
	I like the way they call it the sit room.
	Now, here's the one that I didn't notice it until I heard it.
	And the guy who was speaking is unidentified in the video.
	Maybe he could be one of the counterintelligence security guys for all I know.
	I don't.
	But when he says this line, you actually see him...
	He has like an inflection in his voice.
	And he closes his eyes and sways his head lightly from right to left.
	See if you can pick out the line.
	Tense, but it was one that was, for all intents and purposes, because of the President's decision, it was out of our hands.
	So it was up to those great professionals in our military to execute this mission.
	Could you hear that?
	Could you hear the inflection?
	Out of our hands?
	No.
	Because of the president's decision.
	Listen to it again.
	And he goes, because of the president's decision.
	Like it was rehearsed.
	Like they drilled it into it.
	We're promoting the notion based on the website that Obama was...
	Never really made a decision on this.
	Right.
	But you see him close his eyes, sway his head from right to left, saying, because of the president's decision.
	Because of the president's decision, it was out of our hands.
	It's even, like, inserted right there.
	Now, you have to see it, I guess.
	Yeah, it doesn't come across at all.
	It doesn't.
	No.
	I'm sorry.
	But it was just kind of proof that, oh, wow.
	And then, of course, our president has his own little show.
	Which I watch.
	Today we had 389 viewers.
	So about equal to this podcast.
	Well, is this the same?
	Because I have a clip from just one little two-second thing he said on his speech to the nation or whatever that thing is that he has.
	Some douchebag comes on and rebuts it.
	Yeah, which clip am I looking at?
	Which makes no sense to me at all.
	Yeah.
	Which clip is that?
	Well, let's see.
	Unfortunately, I got so damn many clips, it gets lost in the shuffle.
	Obama...
	Oh, this is kind of funny, by the way.
	Before you play your clip, play this clip.
	Obama likes Homeland.
	And I'm reading the newest show, Rolling Stone.
	And Jan Winter, the publisher, has an interview with President Obama.
	I... I like Jan Winter, but I think his interview kind of missed the mark.
	There's some questions he should have asked that he didn't of the president in his interview, but I gleaned from that article.
	The president tells Jan Winter that his favorite TV show is Homeland.
	It's true.
	Why would anybody like Homeland?
	It stinks.
	And by the way, Tavis Smiley's got some sort of a boner for Obama because that was a snide remark he made there.
	Yeah, it was, yeah.
	And he's like been on the war path over Obama.
	I mean, like my favorite tweet recently is Albert Brooks made the comment.
	He says, it looks like we're going to be in Afghanistan to 2024.
	That went well.
	Yeah.
	So anyway, here it is.
	This is just a real short clip from his weekly speech, Nation Building at Home.
	Oh, I have that one.
	Yeah, I have the same one.
	Yeah, great one.
	And he reads it incorrectly.
	This is a good clip.
	I'm just saying, I don't have the whole...
	No, no, no.
	No, this piece is good.
	I have this exact same thing.
	After more than a decade of war, it's time to focus on nation building here at home.
	Implying that we were nation building overseas...
	Why do we need to build our nation?
	That's implying that you've wrecked the place, which he has done.
	You've wrecked the place and now you have to start from scratch.
	Nation building is not just putting up a couple of schools.
	I will explain it to you.
	What is he saying here?
	He is saying it's the promise.
	He wants to deliver on the promise.
	You know the promise, don't you?
	Get fired up and let's leave the office?
	Or what is it?
	The basic American promise...
	You can do well enough to raise a family, own a home, send your kids to college, and put a little away for retirement.
	That's what it is.
	Oh yeah, just getting by.
	That's what it is.
	But he has a little hip-hop rap in here that he's quite proud of.
	Keeping that promise alive is the defining issue of our time.
	But it means making responsible choices.
	I don't think we should prioritize things like more tax cuts for millionaires while cutting the kinds of investments that build a strong middle class.
	Here it comes.
	That's why I've called on Congress to take the money we're no longer spending at war, use half of it to pay down our debt, and use the other half to rebuild America.
	Because we've got more jobs to create, more students to educate, more clean energy to generate.
	We've got to create, educate, and generate, bitches!
	He's got a nice little rap going there.
	I like it.
	Yeah, his three, though, I don't have a clip of it.
	I do have it, but I just had too many clips.
	Yeah.
	He has this new trio that he uses.
	Well, it's the same thing.
	It's a fair share.
	No, these are the more vague ones.
	He's got a vague...
	I'll get it later.
	We'll do it on the Thursday show.
	I'll have it.
	Everyone gets a shot.
	Everyone pays their fair share.
	Yeah, that's right.
	Fair share, equal opportunity.
	It's a triad, and he's saying it over and over and over again.
	And everyone plays by the same rules.
	It's fair shot, pay your fair share, play by the same rules.
	But here's something I did not know.
	Because of their bravery and dedication, the tide of war has turned in Afghanistan.
	We've broken the Taliban's momentum.
	We've built strong Afghan security forces.
	We've devastated al-Qaeda's leadership.
	And one year ago, our troops launched the operation that killed Osama bin Laden.
	The goal that I set to defeat al-Qaeda and deny it a chance to rebuild is within reach.
	Did he set that goal?
	Was that his goal?
	I don't remember.
	What have we been doing for 10 years?
	They were close Guantanamo.
	Yeah.
	In the war in Iraq, the day he got in office, immediately, you could take that to the bank.
	That's when you could take to the bank.
	Yeah, yeah.
	I hear your cue.
	I'm just not fast enough.
	Sorry.
	You almost got to take it to the bank thing?
	Yeah.
	You can take that to the bank.
	So he was going to take it to the bank, and then he did brag about he was going to shoot a lot more people.
	Yeah.
	But here's the short...
	One of the Libertarians...
	This weekend we had the Libertarian Convention, which nominated Gary Johnson as their candidate, and probably who I ended up voting for.
	Yeah.
	But there's this very short Libertarian comment I have that you want to play, which was done by one of the guys nominating somebody else for the presidency, but it was very funny.
	This guy was good.
	Only one party can be the party of peace, and it isn't the Republican Party.
	Which will only nominate a candidate who passes two tests.
	First, they must be pro-life.
	Second, they must want to kill lots of foreigners.
	It isn't the Democratic Party, which has rallied around a man who now holds the record for most children killed by a Nobel Peace Prize winner.
	Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
	That's good.
	I like it.
	Yeah, I liked it.
	Yeah, for those of you who know Gary Johnson, who I interviewed, and we still have the interview up.
	Actually, I'll post a link to that in the show notes, 406.nashownotes.com.
	He switched from running on the Republican ticket where he got squeezed out, mainly by CNN, who just said, you're not in the debate.
	Go away.
	He switched to Libertarian, and he won the nomination, which could mess things up, actually.
	I don't think so.
	No, you don't think it's going to make any difference?
	No, I think he's going to get a lot of votes.
	I think he's going to actually make a run at it.
	The Libertarians are trying to get one million people to vote for this ticket, just to show that there's some viability here, because none of these third parties have done very well.
	And it's going to make a difference with some of the voting tricks that have been changed in certain areas, like in San Francisco.
	Now they have this new style of primary voting where you take the top three guys and you have runoffs in some way, shape, or form.
	I have no idea how it works.
	I thought it was simple.
	Yeah, no, it is simple when it's explained by someone other than me.
	You can't explain it.
	It is not simple.
	It's actually pretty simple.
	Anyway, so Johnson...
	It was very interesting.
	It appears to me as though since they're going to be kind of the peace party, they should be able to take as many votes away from Obama, if not more, than they're going to take away from the Republicans.
	So I don't think it's going to make a difference.
	I think it's going to even out.
	But Johnson was a lot livelier than before, and I think, no, I don't want to accuse him of anything, but this is the pro-drug party, or legalized, decriminalized drugs.
	Mm-hmm.
	I thought he was talking a little faster than usual, sniffing his nose a lot, and then he finally went to it with his hand and rubbed the hell out of it.
	So you can take that for what it's worth.
	Please.
	We do have, I'm telling you, Mickey would know.
	Oh, hey, hey, hey, easy, easy, easy.
	You said yourself that she could spot it.
	She's very good at spotting it, yeah.
	Well, she would spot it.
	But anyway, so the point is that we do have his nomination speech where he got them to vote for him as an end of show clip today.
	It's about five minutes, and so we'll play that later.
	I will say that when his campaign manager used to work for Ron Paul, he would text me from time to time.
	That kind of stopped after a while.
	And the only thing I said back is he would be on Stossel, Fox Business News, which no one watches.
	I'm like, the guy's got to get riled up.
	He's too calm.
	And the reply I got back was, well, you know, we're really trying that, but he doesn't want to do that, and we're really saying you've got to get a little more animated.
	And, you know, so maybe that helped a little bit.
	I think it did.
	Yeah.
	I did not say, give the boy a toot.
	That was not my advice.
	But before we get into thanking our one sole producer for today's episode...
	We have one producer today.
	People are letting us down.
	Let me just say one thing.
	So while all these distractions are going on, we have in Gitmo, which was supposed to be closed three years ago, We have the 9-11 masterminds.
	And I'm very confused because I thought we killed the mastermind.
	Yet there's four more masterminds that are on trial in Gitmo.
	And there's no pictures.
	There's no video.
	Some family members are allowed to watch this military tribunal.
	It's not a civil court.
	A military tribunal that's taking place in Guantanamo.
	And they're the ones reporting on it.
	This makes no sense to me.
	This is very, very strange.
	I mean, doesn't all of America have the right to see these guys on trial?
	And all you hear is, it's a farce, you know, it's crazy, they're jumping up and down, they're disrupting everything, all of a sudden they're throwing off their headphones, they don't want to be, they don't want translators, they pray, well, of course they pray five times a day.
	This is weird.
	Is there even a trial taking place?
	I don't know.
	It's a military tribunal.
	It's not a trial.
	Yes, military tribunal.
	But they're calling it the trial.
	Yeah, they're calling it a trial.
	Why are we allowed to see it?
	Why are we not allowed to see it?
	It's military.
	They don't have to show us anything.
	You understand my point.
	But you want to see it?
	Yeah.
	It would be such a farce.
	The country would be up in arms.
	Okay, that's why.
	All right.
	But it's extremely disturbing.
	They have family members on, and the family members are reporting to the journalists what they saw happen.
	And you look at the pictures, and there's like nine family members there of the 3,000 people who died in the 9-11 attacks.
	Well, I don't know what they're thinking, because if they don't have the reporters in there reporting directly and they take it to second-hand information, this could be totally bogus.
	That's kind of my point.
	The only one who I think is there is Pixie Girl from Fox.
	What's her name?
	Catherine?
	You know, the Pixie Girl?
	No, I don't know which one you're talking about.
	Yeah, you do.
	Yes, she's the same one who reported that Anahala Lockheed was...
	Oh, that brunette.
	Yeah, with the short hair, the Pixie Girl.
	Yeah, her.
	She's the one that's mean looking.
	Yeah, that one.
	She's the only one reporting, but even that is like, she told us.
	She's not even beaming live.
	No, this is, you know, it could be a total fabrication for all I know.
	Or all we know, those guys aren't even there.
	Yeah, I mean, all we see is drawings.
	How come they can't take a picture of them in the court?
	We have to have renderings?
	Well, that's, you know, that's just, you know, whatever.
	We're not going to get anywhere with that.
	Okay.
	All right, all right.
	So let's thank our producer.
	And by the way, the only way we can get someone to be a producer is if they get drunk.
	Is he drunk?
	She!
	No, it's a he.
	Yes, he.
	That's what I said.
	Oh, that's what he says.
	He says, I'm drunk.
	This is Loren Osterman from Stamms, Austria, which is in the Tyrol, if I'm not mistaken.
	Tyrol.
	Beautiful area.
	Great skiing.
	Drunk donations are the best.
	I finally gave us $1,000 to become a knight.
	So he's now Sir Osterman.
	From the Osterman Weekend.
	Check it out if you get a copy of it.
	I actually have a copy of the Osterman Weekend.
	A very obscure and weird Sam Peckinpah spy movie.
	Really?
	Yeah, if you get a shot at the Osterman Weekend, I would put it on the list of the movies to watch.
	It's a CIA spy movie.
	Okay.
	Done by Sam Peckinpah.
	Okay.
	So you know you got something.
	And that was the end of him.
	I think he died right after that movie.
	Drunk donations are the best.
	I finally figured out it was time to give you my value for value.
	And today, after a 15-hour workday and some wine, W-H-I-N-E, it seems to be the perfect opportunity.
	Please mention me as Lauren Osterman from Innsbruck.
	I'm sorry, not Stamps.
	Innsbruck, I was there once.
	Beautiful.
	Well, didn't they have the Winter Olympics there once in Innsbruck?
	Yeah, I think in the 50s.
	I'm happy to be the second Austrian knight after Sir Armin Breuer from Vienna.
	Please keep up the amazing work you do providing entertainment and education like nobody else.
	This is the most sober-sounding drunk letter anyone has sent us.
	Well, they know how to hold their liquor there in Austria.
	Yeah, they do.
	Thank you.
	You rock.
	Well, thank you very much, Lauren.
	We will be knighting you later today.
	As our sole producer, of course, you are an executive producer at that.
	And I guess it was bound to happen, right?
	What?
	Well, the donations would fall off the cliff.
	Yeah, it fell off.
	And we don't...
	There we go.
	We always seem to need a gimmick to get people to donate.
	I don't see a gimmick coming up.
	Yeah.
	Well, maybe...
	You know, I think your wedding...
	That's a win.
	How about we just do good news and just dissect stuff?
	I'll just do my job and we'll see what happens, okay?
	Thank you very much, Lauren Osterman.
	I wonder if there's an umlaut there somewhere for your executive producership.
	Likewise, we have absolutely zero PR initiatives, so all we can do is say, please do the following.
	If you can't donate, propagate our formula.
	Our formula is this.
	We go out...
	We hit people in the mouth.
	Come on, everybody, say it loud.
	Shut up, slave.
	I did have one more ABC report.
	Mm-hmm.
	With that lush Diane Sawyer.
	So you'll recall on the previous report, and this one doesn't come close.
	Remember we had Brian, their special correspondent, who told us all about the body bombs and how Al-Qaeda is now...
	Going to put non-metallic bombs into their bodies, and the way that we are actually going to detect this is as follows.
	As to this current threat, U.S. authorities say they have made adjustments in security screening to make it easier to spot the body bombs.
	But how can they do it?
	You said there's no metal involved.
	No metal, but they've turned up some of the radiation that goes into the body, as well as looking for people who might have had recent operations, might be walking funny, or might have surgical scars.
	Heh heh heh heh.
	So we just turned up the radiation.
	I'm going to put that on my cell phone if I travel.
	On those safe devices.
	Yeah, on the safe non-radiation devices.
	We've turned up the radiation, and we're looking to see if you walk funny.
	So Bin Laden had the final plot, and we knew all about this.
	We already knew, and I think that there's something going on.
	I think there's...
	Could there be something going on to discredit Joe O'Biden?
	What would be the point of that?
	I don't know, but every single report...
	I mean, obviously these papers are bullcrap.
	We know that.
	That's why it took so long to release them so they could write them.
	Write them, yeah.
	And they're in Arabic, apparently.
	But just listen to this.
	I clipped a little bit of this ABC News report.
	Same Diane Sawyer, who was drunk, and then Brian, the special correspondent.
	I've just clipped a bit of it.
	We see an individual that was a micromanager in more ways, I think, than we had previously understood.
	The documents released today also reveal Bin Laden's order to assassinate President Obama and not target Vice President Biden because, quote, Biden is totally unprepared for that post, which will lead the U.S. into a crisis.
	Come on, man.
	What was that all about?
	CBS had exactly the same.
	In fact, it's the same release.
	Here, listen to their report.
	The letters reveal tensions between Bin Laden and other top terrorists.
	He rebuffed pleas from his deputy, Ayman al-Zawahiri, to merge al-Qaeda with al-Shabaab in Somalia.
	Merge!
	Merge!
	And he rejected Anwar al-Awlaki as a proposed leader in Yemen.
	He rejected?
	And why did we drone the guy?
	He wasn't even hired.
	He wasn't even hired.
	Listen.
	Although the U.S.-born Al-Aki had masterminded the 2009 underwear bomb plot, bin Laden asked that Al-Aki send us the resume.
	His resume didn't check out.
	And they looked at him on Facebook and went, no, we're not hiring you.
	No way.
	This is such bogus information.
	I know.
	And by the way, just using the word mastermind, mastermind, that makes you dronable.
	Mastermind.
	Back to the ABC report.
	Unquote.
	But it was a plot that never happened, and it's not clear that bin Laden's orders were even being followed.
	Now here comes Richard Clark.
	I'm reminded of the final days of Adolf Hitler in the bunker in Berlin when he was giving orders for divisions and armies to be moved around, and those divisions and armies didn't exist.
	I love this.
	There's nothing better than pulling the Hitler card on somebody.
	You know, I'm reminded...
	Hitler in the bunker card.
	That's the worst.
	You know, I'm reminded of Hitler in the bunker.
	Yeah, that's the first thing I thought of.
	The documents paint a portrait of a frustrated leader, afraid to move out of his Abbottabad-cum, Abbottabad, because of U.S. drones, and obsessed with TV news coverage of him and his Al-Qaeda network.
	We need to understand that a huge part of the battle is the media, Bin Laden wrote.
	He was a somewhat pathetic old man.
	Listen to Clark, man.
	He was somewhat pathetic.
	What, did you have tea with him?
	Touch with reality.
	But the organizations that he spun off, like the groups in Yemen, they are still a threat.
	Oh yeah, we gotta go after them.
	In fact, just today, Al-Qaeda began to urge its followers to attack the U.S. in a new and troubling kind of method.
	Uh-oh!
	What could that be?
	John?
	Butt bombs?
	I have no idea.
	No, it's troubling and it's new.
	It's troubling and new.
	Let me see.
	What would be new?
	What would be new?
	I'll roll it back a little.
	I have no idea.
	Okay.
	Troubling kind of method by steady off forest fires.
	What?
	Setting off forest fires.
	That's how they're going to kill us.
	What?
	Yeah, they're going to set off...
	Where was that?
	Where did that...
	That one, I've been trying to keep up, but I didn't catch that one when it happened.
	It's in the Bin Laden...
	Well, it gets better.
	Online magazine.
	It's in Inspire.
	Oh, in Inspire, that stupid phony magazine that an intelligence agency runs and says it's from the Al-Qaeda people?
	Yeah, so I doubt...
	It's a honeypot.
	You mean the honeypot?
	Yeah.
	Yes.
	So let me just explain.
	I have downloaded Inspire Magazine Edition 8.
	So I expect the knock at the door at any minute now.
	Yeah, you'll get it soon.
	Yeah, I mean, go ahead and just Google Inspire Magazine.
	You get everything from, like, home and gardens and all kinds of stuff.
	But then when you do Inspire Magazine Al-Qaeda PDF, I'm telling you, this is exactly what it's going to be.
	You know, it's like...
	The magazine is a...
	Uh-oh.
	So I downloaded the magazine.
	I'm going to open up the magazine and I'll tell you what's in there.
	Nothing, by the way, and this is the most recent episode.
	Let me see.
	It's an issue, not an episode.
	Yeah, issue.
	I'm sorry.
	Issue number eight.
	Issue number eight.
	Let's just listen to the rest of this report.
	30 seconds.
	Provided detailed instructions on how to build a so-called ember bomb and where to place it in a hot and dry forest.
	Instructions that experts say were quite accurate.
	I think we need to take that very serious.
	And throughout the United States, we are in fire-prone areas.
	Very seriously, I believe it is.
	So they're talking about wildfires, but go back for a minute to that poison plot.
	Any sign it's ongoing?
	Well, in this same Inspire magazine edition that's just come out, there are references to a sort of a justification for using poison, biological, and chemical weapons.
	So something seems to be cooking, according to U.S. authorities.
	Following up on the poison.
	Okay, thank you so much, Brian.
	Following up on the poison.
	Following up on the poison.
	So I download Inspire Magazine.
	Maybe I don't have the right edition, but there's nothing.
	Well, he said it was the latest, and you went to the website and got the latest, right?
	Yes, and then here's the only thing I could find.
	So you're telling me this report is bogus?
	I think so.
	Here, remote control detonation, they have that.
	And I love this little article.
	I'm going to read this article.
	Detonating your explosive device can be done using many methods.
	What is this?
	So they show you how to turn a motorcycle alarm into a remote detonating device.
	Of course.
	That's kind of going out of your way.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Take the alarm speaker and clip the wires off of it.
	It's a step-by-step.
	It's nicely made, by the way.
	They must have done this in Langley.
	Yeah, in Langley.
	Dr.
	Katir has written the article about remote detonation.
	It's a good read.
	Let's drone that guy.
	It's a good read.
	It's a good read.
	It's absolutely hilarious.
	You know, it's just, they got step-by-step instructions.
	It's almost like you're reading a Radio Shack manual.
	You know, and then they show, here's how to clean your gun.
	Really?
	I don't know.
	Maybe it's the wrong edition.
	I don't know.
	Well, they had the remote Denny.
	I think they'd make him this up.
	It is a possibility, yes.
	But they just took it off the press release.
	Oh, my goodness.
	Be very afraid of forest fires.
	Well, guess what?
	In Texas, we're the first ones to go.
	I mean, the minute there's a forest fire starting here, I'm going to be running down the street yelling that Diane's...
	When we get into drought season, well, right here nearby, Steiner Ranch, that's what was burning.
	Remember those huge fires last summer?
	That was here.
	Yeah, that was right here.
	To the minute that happens, I'm calling terrorist attack.
	I'm not calling, you know, a severe drought and someone smoking a dube and tossing it out the window.
	No, no, no, no.
	With all these tips and things you could do, I mean, if any American living in the U.S. of A. can think of about, I don't know, maybe a half dozen to a dozen interesting little things you could do if you wanted to disrupt things and you didn't give a crap about yourself and you didn't mind getting shot to death or caught and beaten maybe a half dozen to a dozen interesting little things you could You want to just cause havoc.
	You know, there's an oil refinery over here and there's one up the street.
	We got a few of those.
	Up Highway 8 is about one, two, three, four of them in the area.
	And, you know, you can get into those places.
	And there's forests all over Marin.
	There's up and down the woods everywhere and up the hill in Berkeley.
	I mean, there's a bunch of things you could do if you were a troublemaker.
	How come we haven't seen any evidence of any of this?
	Nobody's doing anything because there are no homegrown terrorists.
	It gets even worse.
	There's nothing going on, ladies and gentlemen.
	Look around.
	And if one guy throws a match into a bunch of brush outside of Austin, so one guy.
	That's it.
	There's your one guy.
	I mean, this is...
	crack down on the public based on this phony threat when there's no evidence that anything is going on.
	During World War II, there were all sorts of, you could document the amount of intrigue that was going on with German operatives floating around, you know, trying to blow up bridges and derailing trains and doing these different kinds of acts of, it wasn't terror then, it was called espionage.
	All this espionage was going on and it wasn't, we didn't have half the clamp down we have today when there's nothing going on.
	And they even landed submarines off the coast.
	Yeah, they did, actually.
	And they were sinking our ships up and down the East Coast like there was no tomorrow until they got rid of a moron that was running the Navy Department.
	Anyway.
	So here's the crazy thing.
	The same Inspire magazine, in which my edition does not contain any of this information, says, headline, Al-Qaeda has also named Australia as a prime target for firebombing.
	So somebody from Australia, namely that woman who runs the place, called someone in the intelligence group there.
	Hey, put us in your magazine.
	We need a little attention here.
	We need some ink.
	We need some ink and put some in there.
	Target us or something.
	We got to spend some more money.
	The public's catching on to our scam.
	Wow.
	There you go.
	Meanwhile, talking about knocks on the door.
	It's a good story.
	Only that Democracy Now!
	covered it.
	The Chamberlain execution in White Plains, New York.
	There's something I don't want to say.
	I don't want to say this is funny because there's nothing funny about some guy getting shot dead by the police for no good reason.
	But the story is the guy pushes by accident apparently his life lock button.
	You know, Life Alert, where you push the button.
	Yeah, I've fallen, I can't get up.
	I've fallen, I can't get up.
	And so they call LifeLocker, calls the police, and they start to go over to his place.
	And they start pounding on the door.
	And then, well, play the Chamberlain and White Plains clip.
	You'll get an idea.
	White Plains, please emergency.
	Good morning.
	I'm going to cancel a dispatch for Kenneth Chamberlain at 135 South Lexington.
	Okay.
	You know, we have units on scene right now.
	Yeah, we're in line with him on a two-way communication.
	He's saying he's not going to open a door in this case.
	He's going to bust his door down.
	Right.
	They're going to make entry anyway.
	Okay, so hold on.
	Give him a chance to come to the door to open it, because he's okay to open it.
	Okay.
	I mean, they have a key.
	They're going to open it anyway.
	Oh, they have a key?
	Yeah, they're not going to break it down.
	Oh, because they're banging on it.
	We can hear on the line.
	What's that?
	They're banging on it.
	We can hear on the line.
	Yeah, yeah.
	We have units going over there right now to get in.
	Oh, okay.
	Yes.
	And your name and number?
	64.
	Thank you.
	You got it.
	Kenneth Chamberlain went on to tell the life aid operator that the police had drawn their guns and were attempting to break down his door.
	Listen closely.
	Officers, this is life-aid.
	Are you inside Mr.
	Chamberlain's home?
	They're breaking in my door.
	They're breaking in my door.
	Mr.
	Chamberlain, I heard you say they're breaking in your door.
	Are you okay?
	My door.
	Mr.
	Chamberlain, are you okay?
	I'm fine.
	Okay, you pressed your medical button.
	That's why the officers are there.
	Can you go to the door and speak to them?
	They have their guns out.
	They have their guns out.
	Okay, do you have weapon, Mr.
	Chamberlain?
	Okay, they're not there to hurt you.
	I'm here on the line.
	Mr. James, we're not here to help her.
	We're here to help her out.
	I'm not scared.
	I'm fine.
	A video camera on the police taser gun recorded the next sequence.
	You can hear Kenneth Chamberlain say the police have stun guns and shotguns.
	He then predicted the police would probably kill him.
	And then they did?
	Yeah, no, they stunned him first, and they gave him a couple of jolts, and then they shot him.
	For good measure.
	Yeah.
	Now, the final clip of the cops pounding on the door, cursing, and they call them, you know, the N-word comes out and they say, we're not paying anything.
	That's what you do.
	We're coming in.
	And by the way, where was this key?
	They kicked down the door.
	Yeah.
	And then one of the guys apparently went to the back window because I read the reports on this.
	It was knocking, you know, trying to come in through the back.
	And they're all armed.
	This guy pushes his life alert button.
	This is what happens to him.
	Don't do that, sir.
	Don't do that.
	Don't do that, officer.
	Don't do that.
	You got to do that.
	I'm telling you I'm okay.
	I'm telling you I'm okay.
	Put the right there and put my dead with it.
	I'm telling you I'm okay.
	So they bust the door down, tase him a couple of times, and he's just wearing underwear.
	And then they shoot him.
	How come we don't have that sound?
	And they don't have the shoot because I guess it was unhooked.
	Well, that's lame.
	Whatever the case was, they did a quick grand jury on this and the police were exonerated.
	Wait a minute.
	Wait a minute.
	You mean you lead me all up to this and I don't get to hear any volts?
	I don't get to hear any bzzz?
	I don't hear any gunshot?
	This is no good.
	I'm sorry, but the gunshot was never recorded.
	Oh, yeah.
	I have no idea.
	Oh, sure.
	Oh, sure.
	Well, the guy shot himself, let's face it.
	I don't know.
	I did have the zh-zh clip that I was trying to show.
	This thing went on forever.
	They were at the door for an hour.
	Wow.
	This is an example of the, you know, the kind of the Kingsguard guy pushes his button and they come in to say something.
	He says, I'm okay.
	Well, we made all the trouble to come here, so we're going to shoot you.
	Wow.
	You've like successfully bummed me out.
	This is normally my job.
	And, well, if you want to, I think a better story, since we're going to be talking about these sorts of, you know, police excess, you know, during the Obama administration, is the one, you know, about the University of California San Diego student?
	No, I don't cancel, but I do.
	Oh, this is a good one.
	The DEA, the guy goes over and visits a friend in San Diego, I guess, and this guy is Daniel Chong.
	Look him up.
	Daniel Chong.
	DEA. Just check it out.
	He goes to visit a friend.
	DEA busts into the place and arrests everybody for drug use, even though this kid...
	Oh, this is the guy who was in jail for five days.
	Had to drink his own pee.
	They handcuffed him, threw him in the jail...
	Cuffs on and then forgot about him.
	They forgot he was in there for five days.
	He had to drink his own pee.
	He's suing him for $20 million now, I think, isn't he?
	Well, let's say that he sues him for $20 million and let's say that they pay $20 million or even $10 million.
	Who actually pays that money?
	We do.
	You pay it.
	I pay it.
	Nobody gets fired.
	Nobody gives a crap.
	It's just money right out of the taxpayer's coffer.
	This is the problem with these government officials.
	They don't, well, whatever, we did a lawsuit.
	They'll put some guy in a different office someplace.
	I mean, this DEA has got to go.
	The whole war on drugs.
	This is a perfect example of what's wrong with it.
	They don't even give a crap.
	They throw the guy in jail and they just lose the paperwork.
	Up in those neck of the woods.
	You remember the two hikers who were hiking in Iran and got arrested?
	The three, you mean?
	Well, it was three, yeah.
	Yeah, who wants them all from Berkeley.
	Yes, which is, we know it's Spy Central.
	Yeah, CIA. So two of them, Shane Bauer and Sarah Shured, are now getting married.
	Oh.
	And I know why.
	Okay.
	Because when you're married, you can't testify against your spouse.
	Well, what is there to testify against?
	Oh, you watch.
	Someone's going to get hauled.
	There's going to be some kind of trial.
	Something's going to go on.
	Someone's going to ask questions about what they were doing.
	You think they just fell in love, these spies?
	Come on, man.
	No...
	What about the third guy?
	The third guy?
	They got to kill him.
	No, I thought that didn't she come home, she had cancer or something?
	No, she had something.
	She was either pregnant or she had cancer.
	Yeah, something.
	There was some reason to release her.
	And she was obviously released as part of, you know, send her back.
	We'll keep these other two until somebody gives us back some of our spies or whatever.
	I mean, this was just...
	It was like the Ling Ling and Ting Tong, those two idiots also from Berkeley that got caught in North Korea.
	Yeah.
	Spy Central there in Berkeley.
	Not just up the road from you, actually.
	I went to...
	That's where I got my degree.
	Uh-huh.
	It was pre-spy.
	Wait a minute.
	No one ever said, hey, man, you know, you want a really cool gig?
	No, but they did do that with Gina Smith.
	They approached her?
	Yeah, Gina Smith, she tells the story.
	This was during, and she's like, I don't know, she's probably, I don't know.
	If you don't know who Gina Smith is, she's, was she on tech TV as well?
	Is she one of those girls?
	No, she was at ABC during the tech TV, or CBS during the tech TV era.
	She used to be an editor.
	Then she ran one of Larry Ellison's companies for a while.
	Now she's starting a new domain,.NET, which is going to turn into some publication.
	And they run X3 on it.
	And Gina tells the story of that she's one of the better students, which is what they like.
	And the CIA literally approached her and asked her if she was going to be a journalist and if she could work for them and they would place her.
	In a good publication like the Washington Post, and they would contact her every so often because she wanted to know what this is all about.
	They would contact her every so often for just for her to use a phrase or for her to write a story about something.
	Oh, wow.
	Just every so often.
	It wouldn't be like, you know, you'd be having to go to Langley and work out of a cubicle.
	No, I get it.
	I get it.
	And that was that.
	And you get good money.
	I don't know.
	I never did get the money.
	So two things about this.
	One, it's obvious you weren't good enough.
	That's why you were never approached.
	That's very obvious.
	But two...
	And this was pre...
	This was before anybody started thinking that Cal would be a good place to...
	To, what is it called?
	Recruit.
	Recruit spies.
	Well, so the story that started at CNET, and this immediately makes me think that this is happening right now.
	By the way, the agency has said they used to do this, and they stopped.
	You're right.
	So, the FBI, this is a big story, everyone's talking about it.
	Headline, we need wiretap ready websites.
	And so here's the two relevant paragraphs from this scene, which, as far as I can tell, originated with CNET. The FBI's General Counsel Office has drafted a proposed law that the Bureau claims is the best solution, colon, requiring that social networking websites and providers of voice-over IP, instant messaging, and web email alter their code to ensure their products are wiretap-friendly.
	And they even have a quote...
	If you create a service, product, or app that allows a user to communicate, you get the privilege of adding that extra coding, an industry representative who has reviewed the FBI's draft legislation told CNET. Privilege?
	Yes.
	The requirements apply only if a threshold of a certain number of users is exceeded according to a second industry representative briefed on it.
	So this, to me, screams bullcrap.
	Because there's no documentation.
	The FBI hasn't released anything.
	The CNET is portraying this as a huge scoop.
	And I can only think maybe it's meant to divert our attention from CISPA passing the Senate.
	It doesn't ring true to me.
	And it sounds exactly like this Gina Smith story.
	Hey, write this.
	What do you think?
	Oh, well, that's interesting.
	I never thought of it.
	We should be looking at all the stories like that.
	I mean, we look at Woodward stuff like that.
	But when I read a story like this, I want the document.
	And there is no document.
	It's only just industry insiders that have spoken to...
	Well, where is this document?
	Come on, people.
	This is the Internet.
	Post this thing already.
	Put it on the...
	What is that bucket thing?
	That dump thing?
	What is it called?
	Dropbox.
	Pastebin, whatever.
	Pastebin.
	Pastebin.
	Put it out there.
	We can't dream up a bunch of names.
	We should start Pastebin.
	Now, on the other hand, we know that Mueller, the director of the FBI, walks around the Facebook offices all the time.
	And we know that because it was in the Time Magazine article where he just sticks his head around the door and says, Hey, Zuck, how you doing?
	I was in the building anyway.
	Whoops.
	Just hanging out.
	Just me, director of the FBI. Nothing to see here.
	I find that peculiar.
	Yeah.
	Well, so...
	You know, to me, it sounds like a big web story.
	I'm surprised you haven't been all over this.
	You haven't.
	I haven't been all over it because I don't...
	I don't know.
	You can't follow everything, for God's sake.
	Because you're too involved in other things.
	I'm too busy listening to TV. Watching C-SPAN. Yeah, watching C-SPAN. I understand.
	I understand.
	So, well, what do you think?
	I mean, what do you think this is?
	I think it's bogative.
	But it's bogative to begin with because what's the...
	All you have to do is run any sort of...
	You can run Web Copier or Black Widow or any of these...
	These crawlers on almost any website and you can extract everything that's on the website except some of the, you know, hidden code.
	But for the most part, you're not going to do that with this product either.
	And you could just pull down everything without...
	Well, at best, at best...
	The only thing that...
	I mean, so what they're saying is you need...
	What would this do extra?
	I don't...
	I think it's just cooperation.
	You know, which sounds exactly like CISPA. CISPA is cooperation.
	So maybe this is just a...
	I don't know.
	It sounds to me like they're trying to distract the attention from CISPA. Okay, yeah.
	We went over and asked Curry to put the code in.
	Yeah, he's willing to play ball.
	He's playing ball.
	It's okay.
	He's on the right list.
	We won't worry about him.
	Let's go to the next guy.
	Exactly.
	That's what it's going to be.
	Yeah, you're just going to play ball.
	Because I don't see that they can't do this already.
	And that brings me to that Claire Perry report from Gitmo Nation East.
	I didn't realize this until I read the report.
	I love reading the reports.
	That's what I do, so you don't have to.
	Not even you, John C. Dvorak.
	I don't bother anymore because I know you're going to go over them with a fine-tooth comb because you have some sort of sickness.
	It's mold poisoning, I tell you.
	So this is the Independent Parliamentary Inquiry into Online Child Protection.
	This is what now Virgin Media has already complied with.
	We played the clip last week where they shut down BitTorrent, but of course the whole thing is about porn.
	Oh, it's like horrible porn.
	So I'm reading through this document, and at the very end, It says this independent report was sponsored by Premier Christian Media and in partnership with Safer Media for a Safer Society.
	These are religious lobbying groups who sponsored this report.
	Really?
	It's not like Parliament said, we need a report about this.
	We need an independent parliamentary inquiry.
	They got 60 members of Parliament together, and these guys sponsored it.
	What does sponsoring mean?
	Do they pay them money to come in in overtime?
	Yes, they pay the party.
	Of course they do.
	They make donations to the party.
	But these are anti-porn religious freaks.
	I'm just paraphrasing.
	You can believe whatever you want, but yeah, they're against pornography and they're the ones that...
	This is not an inquiry that's independent.
	This thing is completely rigged.
	Hmm.
	It's a very interesting report.
	Is it?
	Is it any good?
	Yeah, it's worth reading.
	Because now that you...
	I mean, when you get to the end, with the knowledge up front that it's sponsored by...
	paid for by these Christian groups, then it's much more fun to read it.
	Like, oh, okay.
	Now I get why they're saying this.
	That makes sense.
	Whereas, obviously, porn is good.
	It's what the internet is for.
	Hmm.
	Interesting.
	We're talking about religious...
	I noticed that Bill Maher...
	Oh, I've stopped watching him.
	Well, I tend to stop watching him too, but it was interesting because he committed suicide.
	What?
	Well, in a funny way, by attacking the Mormon church.
	Oh, really?
	Like really attacking him.
	I mean, to the point where I don't know who he thinks he's kidding, but the Mormon church is the one that defeated Prop 8.
	They've apparently been involved in a lot of political stuff that is powerful.
	So it's not a group that you want to...
	I don't have anything against the Mormons personally.
	But if I did, I'd be very circumspect because they have, you know, Harry Reid is a Mormon, for example.
	Well, wait a minute.
	Isn't this just a part of making Mormons look crazy to make Romney look crazy?
	Yeah, to make Obama look good.
	I mean, you want to do that if you're a political operative like Bill Maher is a bombabot.
	But I think he went overboard here.
	And I would predict, I'm putting it in the Red Book, that he will not...
	By this time next year, he will not be on the air.
	Last Friday's show, we're getting into a pissing match with the internet, but the usual suspects are bitching that I was wrong and saying that Mitt Romney's charitable giving doesn't count because it all goes to his cult.
	I'm sorry, I meant to say his ridiculous church.
	But religion, cult, truth is there's no real definition of which is which.
	It's more like, if the shoe fits.
	I personally define a cult as any religion with fewer followers than Snooki has on Twitter.
	Also, Mormonism is secretive.
	And that's another trait I associate with cults.
	Catholics own their crazy.
	It's right on the table.
	Mormons are more like Fight Club.
	In any event, it doesn't matter, and I'm very sorry if I called your horseshit bullshit. - Good.
	The real issue is, when Mitt Romney gets a deduction for giving to charity, the rest of us taxpayers have to cover the loss.
	Oh, okay.
	Great.
	Well, it wasn't funny, and it didn't have me laughing.
	It wasn't funny at all.
	No, I was not laughing about that one.
	And I think that may be a career killer.
	Okay, you put that in the book.
	I don't know.
	I don't know.
	I'm just saying, you watch.
	It's not going to be like something that happens real quick.
	It'll be a slow death.
	Meanwhile, I was watching, always keeping an eye out for what Warren Buffett is doing.
	And Warren Buffett, Berkshire Hathaway, I should say, is a very conservative investor.
	He only invests in things that he knows are going to work, like machines that kill chickens and railroads.
	And his number one lieutenant is a guy named Charlie Munger.
	Charlie Munger is 88 years old.
	And it was kind of interesting because up front and center at the Berkshire Hathaway shareholders meeting, which is like, you want to talk about a cult, that's a real cult.
	Who's in the front row?
	Charlie Rose, Bono, Aston Kutcher.
	Usual suspects.
	The usual investor.
	Well, Bono, of course, is a huge investor in all things Kleiner Perkins.
	And so the big news at this year's event, Warren Buffett says, you know what, I have initial stage prostate cancer.
	And so he goes on CNBC, and the girl there asks him, you know, so wow, you know, what does this mean?
	His answer was quite surprising to me.
	What's different in the last couple of months is that Warren has come out with his news about the prostate cancer.
	What was your reaction when he told you?
	Well, I regard it as a total non-event.
	I would bet a lot of money that I have more than he does.
	I don't even allow them to check for it.
	Why?
	I think it's likely to cause them to do a dumb thing.
	So when my doctor puts down PSA test, I just cross it out.
	How interesting is that?
	What was that all about?
	What was that she was interviewing?
	Charlie Munger.
	That's the number two guy at Berkshire Hathaway.
	And he's 88.
	He looks great, by the way.
	He doesn't look almost 90.
	And he says, you know, I don't do tests.
	It's like it'll make you do something stupid.
	What I read between the lines.
	Oh, wait, let me try to deconstruct what you're thinking.
	Because the basis of this thought is these fake...
	Prostate cancer tests.
	No, the fake tests for the cervical...
	What's that?
	HPV? HPV. It's a fake test, essentially.
	I mean, it's a machine that tests, but eh, you know, the thing's pretty...
	It doesn't really...
	It's not...
	It doesn't...
	It can't nail it.
	It's a bogus test.
	It's just a guess.
	It's a machine.
	It's a guessing machine.
	That's not exactly what I was thinking.
	Well, let me finish.
	I finish.
	So Munger, being one of these massive investors...
	Who probably has access to information that we'll never have access to in a million years.
	Knows it's bullcrap.
	Exactly.
	He even says, I bet I have more cancer than Warren does.
	I just don't want to know.
	I just found that a complete...
	Well, he said one other thing, and this was the thing that I was like, whoa.
	Okay, when you're almost 90, I guess you can say whatever you want.
	As an investor, though, Einhorn used this whole thesis that he had, the idea that too much of a good thing is a bad thing, to say that in a normal situation like this, he would be buying stocks, selling bonds, and selling gold.
	But because he doesn't trust the Fed, he says he's buying gold right now.
	Is that a thesis that makes sense?
	Well, not to me.
	I think gold is a great thing to sew into your garments if you're a Jewish family in Vienna in 1939.
	Wow.
	Okay.
	And then what else?
	I think civilized people don't buy gold.
	There you go.
	Civilized people don't buy gold.
	I'm with him.
	Whenever those guys say A, I'm going B. That's all I know.
	Yeah, well, this guy sounds like he's a little too in the know.
	I was like, wow, okay.
	Okay, this is good.
	My goodness.
	If you're a Jew in Austria in 1930, sew it into your pockets.
	Otherwise, if you're in the civilized people, don't buy gold.
	I got no prostate cancer.
	These elites, man, they live in a whole different world.
	Not the world you and I live in, my friend.
	Apparently not.
	I know they haven't been over to the house recently.
	And then it's time for our...
	It's Clippity Clop!
	The message is clear.
	No Clippity Clop!
	So Lucifer Clippity Clop on her little video podcast there, which you can find at video.state.gov, which I look at religiously, She all of a sudden, out of the blue, and is it anti-bullying month or something?
	I couldn't find any executive orders.
	I couldn't find any proclamations.
	But this is her sitting in her office, or wherever she does those videos.
	It looks more like a hotel room.
	And it's just interesting.
	I travel the world.
	I try to meet with people to talk about what's happening in their communities and countries.
	And one of the things I see wherever I go is that communities that foster tolerance and accept diversity tend to be more prosperous, successful and better places to live.
	Strong societies draw strength from the talents of women, people with disabilities, religious minorities, LGBT people, those of diverse racial and ethnic backgrounds.
	That's as true in the United States as it is everywhere else.
	Today across North America, students and teachers are coming together to take a stand against bullying.
	Building communities of tolerance is something every person can contribute to in your own school or workplace or where you worship or even in the streets of your own community.
	If you see someone being bullied, please speak up.
	Oh, wait a minute.
	You mean like this, Lucifer?
	So, I mean, that is the land of unconfirmed.
	Yes, we came, we saw, he died.
	Yeah, hello, I'm raising my hand.
	I see someone bullying.
	And if you're being bullied, please reach out to a teacher, a hotline, or a friend.
	Now watch your go into personal mode.
	Know that you are not alone.
	Help is available.
	And we all want you to be able to just persist through this terrible experience for you.
	And you know what?
	What?
	If you're the bully, if you're bullying someone else...
	Send your resume.
	Please take a hard look at your actions and the pain you cause.
	I don't think you want to keep doing that.
	I don't think you want to keep doing that because I will rip your head off, you shit.
	Because whether it's physical, emotional, or social, bullying is wrong.
	And we can all contribute to more tolerant, supportive environments and to stamping out bullying.
	Wherever it happens, let's really all commit ourselves to working together to do that.
	Okay.
	So, I'm like, wow, this is so weird.
	That was weird.
	Well, it fits in with something else that I found.
	Ah, okay.
	Yeah, of course.
	Now it's less weird.
	Yeah, no, it gets a lot more understandable.
	So I'm like, wow, you know, this is, now you know my stance on this is that these anti-bullying laws are in effect being brought in to stop your free speech.
	You know, you're not allowed to say, hey, you ugly shit.
	When I was a kid, and I think other listeners would remember this, and of course I'm in total agreement with this thesis, which is all about free speech.
	There used to be a...
	Bullies were always somebody that would either punch you, or they were pushing you, or they were doing something like that.
	They were big, usually football team guys, just goofing around.
	And there used to be a phrase that you...
	I have not heard it by any of these bullying people.
	Which is, sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me.
	Exactly.
	That's what I grew up with, too.
	I think most people did.
	So in other words, name calling and all this stuff, too bad.
	What difference does it make?
	It's not breaking a bone or giving me a black eye and it's not doing any damage.
	So if somebody calls you a dipshit or an ugly freak or whatever they call you, it's just the way it goes.
	You put up with it.
	What are you shaking your head for?
	It's now that.
	What are you shaking your head for, man?
	What's wrong with your head?
	What's that twitch?
	What's wrong with you, dude?
	You're sick.
	Ew, you're weird.
	Go away.
	And now that is bullying.
	I had girls beat me up.
	Now verbal abuse is bullying.
	I got beat up by a girl once.
	You did?
	Yes.
	Yes.
	That's embarrassing.
	Yes!
	And you think I was bullied before, after I got beat up by the girl.
	Doomed.
	And by the way, later, we met like 20 years later, and we were like, we were kind of good friends.
	So I see this.
	So I see this, and then last night, after I woke up from my sickness-induced sleep, Ms.
	Mickey was watching some movie on the On Demand here on this horrible Time Warner system.
	And so I try to get out of it, and the menus on this thing is impossible.
	And somehow, I lock into the Common Sense Media channel.
	Have you ever seen this?
	Have you ever heard of the Common Sense Media channel?
	No, I've never heard of it.
	The whole thing...
	Is little, little podcast episodes about bullying.
	And I'm like, well, hold on a second.
	And I have the audio of one of them.
	Young love, it's always a difficult subject for parents to discuss with their kids.
	And with today's teen romances playing out not just in school hallways, but also online, an ugly breakup can sometimes turn into digital harassment.
	Digital harassment, John.
	Let's find out what this is all about.
	Digital harassment is when kids use social networks, cell phones, and other digital devices to intimidate, track, or threaten someone.
	It's a lot like cyberbullying, but usually only involves two people in a romantic relationship.
	Okay, so let's mark this down.
	The new phrase is digital harassment.
	So, like, what is this organization?
	Now, who is this again?
	You've got to look at this.
	You go to commonsense.org.
	It's Common Sense Media.
	They are a 501c4 corporation.
	There's actually a commonsensemedia.org.
	It's probably the same thing.
	It seems to be just plugging the Avengers.
	Well, thank you.
	You have now hit the same thing.
	It's the exact same thing.
	So I'm like, what is this?
	Now look at the board of directors of this thing.
	By the way, I have the Form 990, and they are a 501c corporation which does not require them to list their donors.
	But I see here from the documentation that they got $4 million in direct donorships that are not specified because they don't have to.
	Now take a look at the board of directors.
	Oh, it's Rich Barton.
	Yeah.
	Mitch Kapor.
	Yeah.
	Oh, but do you see the number four on the list?
	Chelsea Clinton.
	Mm-hmm.
	Well, Mitch Kapor is famous for a lot of this stuff.
	Dude, look at the board of advisors.
	Susan Sachs.
	Look at the board of advisors.
	Look how...
	Here we have former chairman of Caboodle, Oxygen Media.
	This is like the biggest elites of elites.
	And by the way, the people who run this outfit, James P. Steyer, CEO. Larry Bayer, the President and CEO of the San Francisco Giants.
	This is the biggest drinking club ever.
	Oh yeah, this is totally a drinking club.
	But listen to this.
	First Republic, you know.
	David Hornick, General Partner of Auguste Capital, which is, I know that guy.
	I know a lot of these guys.
	You slept with him, didn't you?
	Yeah.
	He wishes.
	Let me just give you some details on this.
	Tim Zagat, co-founder and chair of Zagat's survey.
	Anything Alice Waters is involved in is like this.
	Who's Alice Waters?
	Shea Panisse woman.
	What?
	Alice Waters is famous.
	Look her up someday.
	Now listen to me for a second.
	So the CEO makes $330,000.
	The COO, $220,000.
	For a drinking club?
	A non-profit.
	Susan Sachs, $102,000.
	She's the interim president COO. The CFO makes $176,000.
	Elizabeth Pearl, editor-in-chief, $215,000.
	The chief education officer makes $185,000.
	Total salaries just of the executives, $2 million a year for this non-profit organization.
	They make $4 million off of licensing their content.
	What content?
	This!
	This crap that they put on Time Warner television.
	But what is it?
	So there's two videos on the current lineup.
	You've got the whole thing about bullying, which I didn't even pull the clip.
	Then there's the digital harassment, which I think is more interesting because that's going to be a new meme.
	But then listen to this from their YouTube channel.
	Are the odds in your favor?
	Enter the Common Sense Media Review Contest and find out.
	Did you love the Hunger Games movie?
	This is a promo.
	This whole organization is set up to promote movies to kids.
	Was the movie everything you hoped for?
	Or were you bummed?
	Tell the world in a video review and you could win an iPad 3.
	And the runner-up prizes aren't bad either.
	You can win an iPad.
	We have movie tickets and lots of great Hunger Games swag to give away.
	The Hunger Games swag!
	Wow!
	And these people, well, no wonder they're making so much money.
	They're just stooges for the movie business.
	But it gets better.
	But it's Donate Now?
	They want people to give them money?
	Yeah, it gets better.
	And they get obviously millions and millions of dollars in donations from these, you know, oh, unbelievable.
	But to win...
	You're bummed out.
	This is very depressing.
	This has to be in it.
	Number one, tell us what the right age is to see the movie.
	Is there stuff in the movie that's not appropriate for your younger brother or sister?
	What did you think it's the right age for kids to see this movie?
	Why isn't it right for someone younger?
	But no spoilers, someone may watch your review that hasn't read the book.
	And we want them to go see the movie.
	Don't put any spoilers in there.
	And everything...
	They said no spoilers.
	Yeah, but every movie is reviewed by them.
	Toddlers and TV. They got advice videos.
	Toddlers and TV. Kids can be great digital creators.
	Truth about sexting.
	Oh, that should be a good one.
	You want to hear that one?
	Let's play it.
	Let's see what the truth is about sexting.
	Okay.
	Let me just go find it.
	Yeah, this is...
	And with this board, I was like, whoa.
	Hold on.
	Where do you see that?
	It's on the video...
	Videos advice?
	Yeah, video advice.
	Okay, where's truth about sexting?
	Near the bottom.
	Second from the bottom.
	In the middle.
	Oh, yeah.
	Okay.
	Wow.
	Let's find out, John.
	Should we be sexting or not?
	Here we go.
	Oh, it may be inappropriate for your kids, the following material.
	What?
	What's that supposed to be?
	What?
	Movie Reviews.
	Parent Tips.
	CommonSenseMedia.org.
	That's Katy Perry.
	Beyonce sings about it.
	Pop stars Rihanna, Vanessa Hudgens, and Pete Wentz have done it.
	And chances are, your teens, or someone they know, has also sent a nude or revealing photo to a friend.
	Sexting?
	Sexy texting.
	Seriously, what era are you from?
	While you two were playing house, Cook and I were trading super hot texts.
	Sexteen has quickly become a part of teen romance.
	One in five teens admit they've sent nude or semi-nude pictures of themselves to others through their cell phones and computers.
	The problem is that in this 24-7 digital world, where anything can be copied, sent, and posted, a private photo can quickly become global.
	This is also about shutting down access to your kids.
	This is meant to freak parents out.
	Yeah, that's why they don't want kids seeing it.
	So the kids wouldn't say, that's bull crap.
	And the emotional and legal consequences.
	Besides that, it's only my tits.
	It'd be devastating for both the sender and recipient.
	Devastating.
	So what's behind this growing phenomenon?
	Oh, what's behind the growing phenomenon?
	Who do you think is the boogeyman in this one?
	Uh, Romney.
	Just thinks it's okay to sext or, you know, send naked pictures of themselves because it's not really a big thing.
	A lot of times I don't think we actually think that it's sexting because we're just like flirting and it's just on text message.
	Teens will usually sext as a joke, sometimes as a token of affection.
	Ugh, I'm too bored.
	I'm bored already!
	Anyway, this is a promotional arm of the movie industry, and they have chosen a very interesting construction so that they do not have to reveal their donors.
	Let me guess who the donors are.
	Paramount?
	Disney?
	We can't know.
	Universal?
	Sony?
	We can't know.
	Here, it's grants, gifts, contributions, and membership fees in 2010, 5.5 million, but then they have, where is it?
	There's another 4 million, and we don't know where it came from.
	They don't have to fill it in because of the construction they've chosen.
	So it's just not in there.
	Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
	I'm telling you who it is.
	It's bogative.
	Universal.
	So they're pulling out on this bullying meme.
	Go to page three.
	I think it's page three.
	Yeah, page three.
	And you can see one of the donors got it.
	They have a couple of donors' logos, almost logos there.
	Page three of what?
	Of the videos.
	Oh, really?
	There's tons of these videos.
	Yeah, I know.
	There's another page?
	Oh, page three.
	There we go.
	Okay.
	So you got YouTube.
	Obviously, the Googlers are giving them money.
	Googlers are on board, yeah.
	No doubt in my mind.
	How to upload videos to YouTube is like a video on following instruction.
	Then there's avatars down at the bottom.
	That's got to be some characters and something.
	But I will point out that their Form 990 is nowhere to be found on their own website.
	They don't actually post that.
	The whole thing.
	But, you know, Chelsea Clinton?
	Come on.
	Yeah, no, that's the giveaway.
	Just follow the Clintons.
	That's all you got to do.
	It's all about bullying.
	I'll give you that as the website find of the day.
	Okay, thank you.
	We don't have a jingle for it, sorry.
	No, we don't.
	Our ten beliefs.
	We believe in media sanity, not censorship.
	Ah, there's the first one you can go with.
	Yeah.
	That's what we believe in.
	They're also a real Agenda 21 outfit.
	They got a lot about climate and saving the world and all this stuff.
	And no wonder they're all over the Hunger Games.
	And while we're on that topic, we might as well roll out a little bit of...
	Not just the last episode, John, are we talking about a total lack of birds killed by windmills?
	Yeah, the pile of pelicans.
	The pile of pelicans.
	So let me, first of all, you know, did we talk about the pelicans that are dying?
	No, but I have a clip.
	Where's your clip?
	Where is it?
	Where's the pelicans dying here?
	I'm sure I left it.
	I hope I didn't edit it out.
	Weird.
	Reported bird deaths?
	Yeah, that's it.
	Hit it.
	The carcasses of over 100 pelicans have been removed by workers near the town of Puerto Eten on the northern coast of Peru.
	During the past two months, around 1,200 pelicans and 900 dolphins, amongst other animals, are reported to have died along the coastline.
	An investigation into the deaths will be carried out by Peruvian officials.
	There you go.
	In Peru.
	Exactly.
	So I see this little article in the New York Times.
	So maybe somebody's reading our headlines on our show and then using it as code.
	Yes.
	Pile of pelicans.
	We must kill the pelicans.
	So the New York Times heard us talking about...
	Actually, not the...
	It's ABC. The American Bird...
	What is their name?
	Company.
	Yeah, the American Bird Conservancy.
	So I see this article in the New York Times.
	Using Google Earth as a platform, the American Bird Conservancy creates an interactive web-based map that highlights more than 2,000 places in the United States where birds are likely to be particularly vulnerable to impacts from wind energy development.
	So I go to this, so they sent out a press release, ABC, and they indeed, they've created a Google map where windmills might kill birds.
	They don't actually say they kill birds, but they do say...
	That a recent study published in the 2011 online peer-reviewed Journal of Public Library of Science, I didn't even look those guys up, indicates there's approximately 3,500 gigawatts of wind potential on already disturbed lands in the United States, more than 10 times the Department of Energy's national goal for wind power generation by 2030.
	So they're saying, stop the windmills.
	I'm like, who is this outfit?
	Well, their total revenue was $8.4 million in 2010.
	You need to do one of these things rather than this show.
	What?
	One of these phony baloney operations.
	It's beautiful.
	And again, one of these 501c4 companies where they do not have to report their donors.
	So gifts, grants, contributions, $8.394 million.
	Lobbying, they spent $566,000.
	And by the way, I like birds.
	I'm not against birds.
	Where does all this money go?
	Because they do show where their money goes to.
	It's all to South America.
	They send North America $30,000 grants to recipients in the region.
	South America $2 million, $2 million.
	Wow, that's interesting.
	It makes me now wonder about...
	Here's the thing.
	When they showed this report, it was on the BBC. They showed two dead pelicans.
	And one of them looked like they'd been dead for a while and they were just putting them in a bin.
	And they showed no dead dolphins, even though there's supposed to be 100 dead dolphins.
	So this whole thing could be completely bogus.
	Could be.
	I mean, I didn't see 100 dead pelicans.
	I didn't see 100 dead dolphins.
	Show me the pelicans!
	Where are they?
	I mean, when we have an oil spill, you have people washing hundreds of ducks, and you can see the ducks.
	So what's up?
	I don't know.
	Something.
	And then, of course, we have the Rio Plus 20 coming up in our Biodiversité corner here.
	And what's the douchebag's name?
	Pashkari, the head of the IPCC, the Interplanetary Panel on Climate Change.
	Yeah.
	So they have a new report out, which I have not been able to get through 594 pages.
	Sorry.
	It only just came out this morning.
	But they do have a couple of quotes.
	This is Trust.org.
	Here's quotes from that douche with the beard.
	I think global society has to realize that we...
	You should do it in like an Indian accent, but I have no patience for that.
	Has to realize we are affecting the climate of this planet, and this is the only planet we have, he said in Bangkok, while he was living it up with the hookers in Patpong.
	What is clear is that the average temperatures are going to rise in many parts of the world.
	Many scientists believe that at current rates of emissions, the planet is headed towards at least 3.5 degrees Celsius rise in average temperatures this century.
	And now the words that matter.
	It is virtually certain that increases in the frequency and magnitude of warm daily temperature extremes will occur in the 21st century on global scale.
	It is very likely that the length, frequency and or intensity of heat waves will increase.
	Changing weather patterns are also expected to bring more extreme weather including worsening droughts and floods.
	So when you use words like virtually certain and very likely, it doesn't sound very scientific.
	It's not scientific.
	We've always had floods.
	We've always had extreme temperatures.
	We've always had droughts.
	This has been going on since I was a little kid before.
	You could read the literature from the 1700s and there was always these issues.
	But because they're so extreme and nobody seems to remember from one year to the next, I still have people living around me in California who seem to forget every single year that June and July are cold in the Bay Area.
	They're very cold.
	Oh, I don't remember it ever being this cold.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, no, it's always been cold.
	June gloom in Los Angeles is what we call it.
	And so you end up with a bunch of people that are very easily swayed by, oh, it's worse than ever.
	Yeah.
	But it's nothing changes.
	It's the same as always.
	So I am very excited to read this report.
	Again, 594 pages.
	Because I'll just read you from the index.
	And I'll be doing this for Thursday's show.
	I mean, unless there's nothing in it.
	But, you know, these things got it.
	Because this has got to be an agenda.
	No, they've got to have a kicker in there.
	Yeah, this has got to be an Agenda 21 thing.
	Because the name of this report is Managing the Risks of Extreme Events and Disasters to Advance Climate Change Adaption.
	Let me read that again.
	Managing the risks of extreme events and disasters to advance climate change adaptation.
	Wow.
	people.
	It's almost like a playbook.
	Here's what we're going to do.
	We're going to have these normal disasters happen all the time.
	We're going to manage them.
	In other words, we're going to use them, manage, use them as a methodology to push our climate change agenda so whatever scam to make money is involved, which is what this is really about, if anybody denies that, whether it's trading carbon credits or creating bogus markets or selling something.
	This is what we're going to do.
	This is the game plan.
	Is that what you...
	That's exactly what it sounds like to me.
	Yeah.
	I mean, it's a game plan.
	I'm glad they published it, because you're going to read it, and you will be able to see stuff way in advance.
	This will give us a six...
	I'm going to show my support by donating to no agenda.
	Imagine all the people who could do that.
	Oh, yeah, that'd be fun.
	Yeah, on no agenda.
	Reading the report.
	In the morning.
	Six months in advance, assuming that we get donations for the next six months.
	Alex Gregor in Mountain View, California, we want to thank him for sending in $100.79.
	Did he send us an email?
	Alex Gregor?
	I'll have to look.
	I'll look in a minute.
	I think he did.
	Hold on a second.
	I'm looking now as we speak.
	Gregor.
	Keep going.
	My computer's frozen.
	Read the next one as I'm looking him up.
	This report is so big that it's freezing up my whole operating system.
	Because it's like managing all this...
	No, it's already downloaded.
	It's just so filled with charts and graphs, and I guess you have to open it in Adobe so it doesn't kill you.
	Then we have Kelby Koenig from Grover, Colorado, checking in with $100 to support our Value for Value.
	Hello, and in the morning...
	I just want to say I'm excited to see Adam and Mickey on the Hot Pockets 2009 tour in Colorado this year.
	I'll be even more excited to see John at the upcoming Green Day benefit concert to help save gay and bully dolphins.
	It's your boys, John.
	Your boys are helping the gay and bullied dolphins.
	Thanks again.
	Is this true?
	Is Green Day doing a gay and bullied dolphins?
	You're being led astray by Kelby.
	The funny thing, by the way, I was listening to one of the shows that was on Free Speech TV where they always bring all this stuff up.
	They were moaning about bullies.
	And they said, the one thing that only humans bully is No, man.
	I figured you didn't get the dolphin story.
	We have this dolphin in the San Francisco, you know, in the Bay Area somewhere that has been bullied.
	Yeah.
	This is the one you picked up.
	Anyway, Alex Greger, $100.79.
	I can't find his note if he has one.
	It's not in there.
	Sterling Ellsworth.
	Sir Sterling Ellsworth to most people.
	Santa Barbara, $77.77.
	Sorry for being a non-donating douchebag for the past 20 months.
	He's back with $77.77.
	Oscar Arias in Sarasota, Florida.
	Ah, 6969.
	The streak continues.
	In the morning, J&A, greetings from Gitmo Nation, Florida.
	I'd like to take this opportunity to call out my good friend Skip as a douchebag.
	Douchebag!
	He also wants some huntsman karma followed by the Chinese ITM stinger to facilitate my trip to Asia next year.
	Let's give that a shot.
	You've got karma.
	Arian Martin de Jongst.
	Let me take a look at that.
	Arian Martin de Jongst.
	Jongst.
	So it's Arian.
	Arian.
	Martin.
	Martin.
	De Jongst.
	De Jongst.
	Very good.
	6969!
	Yay!
	He's trying to keep the streak alive and he's done so.
	I'll be looking for a Linux's admin job soon, so I'd like to request some NA Super Karma for that.
	I'd love the show.
	Keep me sane in the Ruhr area traffic jams of Gitmo Nation douche land in Germany.
	Here we go.
	You've got Karma.
	I can't find the benefit concert for the gay and bully dolphins.
	Yeah, I don't think there is one.
	You've been led astray.
	I've been had.
	Chris, you've been punked.
	Chris Potter, Elmira, Ontario, 6969.
	Another one.
	Could I please get some karma?
	I'd like to thank you both for all that you do for all of us.
	Yes, absolutely.
	You've got karma.
	Now we have Vasanth Dharmaraj, I'm guessing.
	Wait a minute.
	Vasanth Dharmaraj.
	Yeah.
	Fremont, an Indian expat, which is the reason he's giving us $69.69, because if he was in India, we wouldn't be getting a nickel.
	That's right.
	I have been listening to DSC and No Agenda on and off since the beginning.
	I was working in Belgium when Adam owned a castle.
	Oh, good old days.
	Yeah.
	I sure, you didn't own the castle.
	I did.
	You actually owned it?
	Yes.
	Back in the day.
	You must have made money on the castle or did you lose your ass?
	Dude, would I be talking to you if I had money?
	I moved the SFO to spend too much time on the BART listening to No Agenda not to donate.
	Can you give me a war on chicken karma just to get back the $10,000 owed to me by my employer?
	Whoa!
	That's not good.
	Okay.
	A war on chicken karma.
	That's a new one.
	The war on chicken.
	You've got karma. - They kind of clash.
	I don't know.
	Leo Marihardt in Leemore, California.
	Sing, Fat Lady Sing.
	Thank you for the podcast license, Adam.
	That's Leo Marihardt III, technically.
	He has his podcast license.
	Yes.
	Cinco de Mayo.
	5512.
	He's a Sanco.
	The following 10 people are all Sanco de Mayo donors, a 5512.
	Tanya Wyman, Dame Tanya, New York, New York.
	Hoping you might mention a fabulous Founders Brewery Beer Dinner in New York City in May 30th, prepared by some friends of mine, especially since the executive chef is down with many no-agenda themes.
	Excuse me, and hoping some producers will come.
	Details are at itm.im slash beer.
	Itm.im slash beer.
	She's organizing her own No Agenda meeting.
	And by the way, can I just say that I've received several emails from people who are very excited about your taco recipe.
	Oh, okay.
	Get that going.
	Well, you have to make your own masa for starters.
	Anonymous in Hoboken, New Jersey.
	Double nickels.
	Oh, I'm sorry.
	5512.
	Again, one of the ten.
	I'm going to stop saying that.
	Anonymous in Hoboken.
	Best podcast in the universe.
	May I have an in the morning karma shot from my unfortunately early final exams.
	Yes.
	In the morning.
	You've got karma.
	Eric Blaze in Toronto, Ontario.
	Been a listener for almost a year.
	I think it's high time I banished the boner for the donor.
	I would like to say thank you for all the hard work.
	I couldn't get through my week without you.
	You are like comfort food for the brain.
	And I get a de-douching and a shot of Hot Pockets Karma.
	You've been de-douched.
	Hot Pockets!
	You've got karma.
	Brian Burnhouse in Peach Bottom.
	What a name for a town in Pennsylvania.
	Happy Sanco de Mayo.
	Give yourselves a well-deserved shot of karma.
	We'll take it.
	You've got karma.
	Amy Yoder in Forestdale, Missouri.
	I just sat through our annual Ethics Recommitment Day training where I work, and the narrator in the videos was terrible.
	Adam would have done a much better job and would have made us slaves way more ethical.
	Thanks for all you do.
	You know, I actually had an audition that I had to put together Friday.
	It was like one of those last-minute ones.
	Uh-huh.
	And I felt no good, you know, because I didn't have you to coach me.
	Oh, you need a director.
	Yeah, well, isn't that the same thing?
	Coach, director, whatever you want to call it.
	Yeah, director, I could have helped.
	You want to hear it?
	No, no, punch it up, punch it up!
	You want to hear it?
	You want to hear my...
	Yeah, you might as well.
	Let me see if I have it somewhere.
	Why don't you read the next one?
	I'll find it.
	Lawrence McBride.
	Sir Lawrence McBride in Morton Merseyside.
	We got the number.
	Okay.
	I got it.
	Hola, amigos.
	Please send some job karma to my colleagues as we are all being displaced.
	Oh, no.
	This week, in the morning to you.
	You've got karma.
	It's all up to you.
	What?
	You were going to play your clip.
	Oh, this is for something called Manifesto.
	I have no idea what it is, but of course they wanted conversational, like you're just talking to your buddies.
	Adam Curry, Vox Agency, Manifesto voiceover.
	How awesome do I sound?
	Sound distorted, but go on.
	That was it?
	It's dragging your feet to the floor in the morning when you'd rather hit the snooze button one more time.
	It's digging in at the end of the day when everyone else is calling it a night.
	It's how we earn the right to be called fathers, mothers.
	Friends, it's doing not just what's expected, but more for what's called for.
	We believe what's true of life is true of our work, especially our work.
	It's how we build products that inspire, perform, and surprise.
	Some invented whole categories.
	Others reinvented them.
	And now we've changed the game again with products that are technological, beautiful, and full of everything 100 years of American engineering has taught us.
	Enjoying them the way they're supposed to be is our challenge.
	To you.
	Is that not a reason to donate?
	Boy, really.
	Save this poor man from himself.
	Rolf Lehman is trying to do that with Eastern Freienbach.
	Deutschland, I believe.
	No, Switzerland.
	I made my first donation to the show.
	That's it.
	So I'm a long-time boner, first-time donor with a baby step toward my eventual knighthood.
	I made the donation through a link in the newsletter from John.
	And I haven't found an option to add some comments.
	It should be at the PayPal thing.
	It should be a comment box.
	Hence the email.
	I'm listening to Crackpot and Buzzkill since about Podcast 280 and I have to admit I'm hooked.
	Please continue the good work and keep up with assassinating the media.
	Am I allowed to ask for some karma for my company which I founded 16 months ago?
	Why not?
	Of course.
	Absolutely.
	You've got karma.
	Continuing with the Sanco de Mayo theme, Chris Potter from Elmira, Ontario, no comment.
	Radu Pertuck in Northbrook, Illinois.
	Radu from Chicago here, announcing your production kicks ass every time.
	I'm glad to be part of the No Agenda Super Family, like to de-douche my dad and send him some karma.
	He's recently joined a listening flock, but he doesn't have PayPal.
	Oh, no.
	Busy teaching my brother.
	You don't need PayPal.
	We'll take a credit card through PayPal.
	He's busy teaching my brother's kids how to propagate the no-agenda message.
	Recently, I sold my first-generation iPad on eBay and got twice as much as my...
	twice as much than Gazelle bullcrap website offered.
	Learn from Adam and John.
	Give his dad the...
	You're a douchebag, Dvorak.
	You've been de-douched.
	You've got karma.
	You're conflicted.
	You're conflicted.
	No, there's no conflict at all.
	Sir Oscar Nadal in Tecati, California.
	What did I say this?
	It's another Cinco de Mayo.
	Cinco de Mayo, 5512.
	The Mayan coin is awesome.
	Can I get a Pucha Chiquichinchen with a Spanish ITM karma?
	Yeah, that makes so much sense, doesn't it?
	He doesn't understand this chinchin.
	You've got karma.
	Sir Oscar Nadal, the romantic Hispanic.
	Anonymous in Aurora, Missouri.
	Keep me anonymous.
	Karma to Adam Burke Pyle for his terrific No Agenda, Pocket No Agenda app.
	Yep.
	By the way, the No Agenda News app, nanewsapp.com.
	Yeah.
	Apple sent a note saying, we need more time to evaluate this.
	I think someone actually, like, tested it and looked at what's...
	Because it's the Noagenda Newswork iPhone app.
	Yeah.
	And I think they were looking at it like, we can't have this stuff in our store.
	These people are crazy.
	You watch.
	You watch it get rejected for that very reason.
	Ah, good.
	That's the problem with a closed environment like that.
	That's why I don't like Apple.
	Yeah, but it's safe for the children.
	Wayne Harvey, Brisbane, Queensland, 5512.
	Sir Armin Breuer in Vienna, our other night in Austria.
	Another small dose of money, and as usual, I like to request a small dose of karma.
	You've got karma.
	Tristan Banning in Toronto in the morning.
	My second time donating in as many months.
	I'm trying to be a semi-regular donor as I want to do my part.
	I'm slowly working my way towards knighthood, but I'm aiming for the order of the no agenda pin.
	Aha!
	As I'm Canadian, we have special penchant for pins up here.
	So yeah, could you please give my girlfriend Holly Dunbar, Eric Blaze, Mad Weed, and myself some Hey Citizen Karma.
	Yes, absolutely.
	Let's take care of that for you.
	Hey, citizen, it's not working well today.
	Hey, citizen.
	You've got karma.
	Looks like double nickels on the dime from Rory Busca in Lafayette, Indiana.
	My third donation.
	I'm still enjoying the show and there's some tips from asking for money.
	Courtesy of Amnesty International, but adopted for no agenda.
	Stress the need.
	Don't be ominous, but remind people that without donation, the show doesn't happen.
	People too.
	People mostly want to give the no agenda show, so tap into that.
	But remember that people's finances are tight.
	The media deconstruction that No Agenda provides is unique and nobody else is doing what you are doing in the format of an entertaining podcast.
	This is true.
	Enjoy yourselves no matter what the donations are doing.
	Remain upbeat and focus on what makes No Agenda fun for you as the host.
	Easy for you to say.
	Easy for you to say.
	Hey, don't worry.
	Don't worry about the rent check.
	It's cool.
	Just be upbeat.
	And he says, be persistent and remember to touch on all the donation options during the executive producer donation segment.
	We'll take those to heart.
	In fact, that's, I think, what we kind of do.
	Jonathan Hargreaves in Chorley, Lancashire.
	In the morning, John and Adam, looking forward to your views of old clippity-clops visit the China.
	I do have some thoughts on that.
	Please, can I get a Hey Citizen karma shot for Stephen Lee, who donated a couple of shows ago?
	Hey Citizen.
	Weird.
	You've got karma.
	Davis Hislop, Edmonds, Washington, 5151.
	During today's show, John joked about the possibility that a listener would make a contribution to hear Adam's story about swimming with dolphins.
	Assuming those were captive dolphins, this contribution is being made for the opposite reason, as there is nothing entertaining or humorous about dolphins in captivity.
	A donation of 5151 is in recognition of the nearly prime number 51.
	Damn it.
	Three times 17.
	So that means I'm now banned from telling my hilarious dolphin story?
	Well, he beat everybody to the punch.
	There you go.
	It's off the table.
	The goose hung high.
	Yeah, nobody...
	The goose hung high.
	Framingham, Massachusetts nuts.
	$50.
	And you can read this one.
	You can edit it as you see fit from Matthew Botkin in Georgia.
	Another $50 donation.
	What, you mean me?
	I mean, I have to read this?
	Yeah.
	It's really more about the DSC, so I don't know how much of it you want to read because most of it doesn't apply to us.
	All right.
	Hi, John and Adam, long-time boner, first-time donor.
	I've listened for so long and not donated.
	The moment I knew Adam made a new DSC with audio of him peeing outside his house, I knew I had to stop boning you guys as hard as I've been doing.
	Seriously, that was epic, Adam, I swear.
	I'll give you my entire life savings if you take a poop on some guy's front porch.
	I would not advise doing it in Texas, though.
	They might shoot you.
	Okay.
	I'll just do another show, okay?
	I promise you I'll do another show.
	I'm not so sure about the defecation source code.
	Well, it depends on what his life savings is.
	This is true.
	You're going to make it worth my while?
	Oh, boy.
	Okay.
	Apparently you never heard the bicycle song.
	And finally, we got two last donations of $50 each from Sir Adam Colby in Menasha, Wisconsin, and Philip Meason in Welshpool, Pow's.
	UK someplace.
	$50.
	We want to thank them and all the other people who donate lesser amounts to help us continue doing the No Agenda Show.
	This is episode 406, so we've been doing it for a while and we want to keep doing it for a while, at least for six months.
	Go to NoAgendaShow.com, NoAgendaNation.com, Dvorak.org slash NA and ChannelDvorak.com slash NA and help us out for the next Thursday show, which should be our gem.
	Yes.
	Yeah.
	Did you just put, did you just lay some smack down about six more months?
	That's it?
	That's what you're giving this show?
	Is that what I understood?
	No, no, I have to.
	We have to have six months, at least six months, because that's when we're going to check on, there's something we put in the red book.
	I remember six months being a dot drop dead date for something.
	Oh, okay.
	No, we're not killing the show.
	No birthdays today.
	We do this show until, you know, people don't want the show anymore.
	I mean, right now they still want the show.
	Okay.
	On no birthdays today.
	That's weird.
	No one was born, apparently.
	No one was born.
	But we are very happy to have a drunk knight who will be joining us here at the round table.
	If you can grab your blade for a second.
	Nice.
	Got it.
	Lauren Osterman!
	From Austria, please step forward.
	Thank you so much for your immediate donation, which brings you to a knighthood in one fell swoop.
	$1,000, which will still get you the No Agenda Knight Ring.
	I hereby pronounce the Sir Lorne Osterman, Knight of the No Agenda Roundtable.
	That's right.
	If you weren't drunk enough, check out our hookers and blow, our rent boys and chardonnay, our wenches and beer, and our hot pants and booze.
	Thank you so much for supporting our value for value.
	I'm so tired.
	Our value for value model.
	Yeah, and I want to remind people that we do appreciate these donations to an extreme.
	But, you know, think about how, you know, when you're giving, how you're giving.
	Because we went to see, I took JC and his girlfriend to go see The Avengers.
	Yeah.
	And, you know, and it was a matinee, because I'm old.
	I can only go to matinees in 3D, and it was like $40 plus to get into the movie theater, and then one bag of popcorn and one water was $10.
	Wow.
	It's a gyp.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, I still want to see The Hunger Games.
	I just can't go to the movie theater.
	I just can't.
	And then you got people talking, texting, bullcrapping around.
	Or was it quiet?
	Was it nice?
	Well, it was actually nice.
	It was a pretty big audience for a matinee, I have to say.
	Well, that's because no one has a job.
	Everyone's out of work.
	That's what that's all about.
	That's easy.
	So anyway, they're in there watching the thing.
	I would recommend seeing it.
	I don't think it's a movie you have to see, but it's a good film.
	It's entertaining.
	Jean-Claude!
	Jean-Claude!
	One moment, please, Jean-Claude.
	We must give you an update.
	Oh, crap.
	This thing is not working.
	Aha!
	That blows.
	Those are slick production.
	I was going to do the French National Anthem.
	Oh.
	Yeah, so we could...
	Oh, is the results in?
	Well, according to the chat room, we have Hollande is edging forward.
	Good.
	Yeah.
	It'll be a lot more entertaining.
	We're sick of Sarkozy.
	He's such a, you know, he's arrogant.
	We call him Narco.
	And we'd rather see a new guy so we can see what happens with him.
	Oh, he just won!
	He did.
	He just won.
	There you go.
	So Sarkozy's out.
	Sarkozy is out.
	That's right.
	Let's see, what else do we have?
	I want to know about...
	But that's the tame one.
	We want to know about the...
	We want to know about Greece.
	Greece is the more interesting one.
	Yeah, what happened?
	Let me see what happens.
	Greek coalition slumps in polls, so they're not done yet.
	Hmm.
	No, that would be very interesting to see what this guy does.
	Well, since we're talking politics, I think it's time for a new segment.
	Do we have a jingle?
	Not yet.
	The Weekly Hooker Report.
	Ah!
	Okay.
	Well, someone will come up with a jingle, and I presume I'm supposed to play the Weekly Hooker Report now.
	Yes.
	Well, there is a new rape allegation against the former head of the International Monetary Fund.
	Dominique Strauss-Kahn is currently caught up in a prostitution scandal in France.
	But that investigation has now led police to another woman who says she was working as a prostitute when she was gang raped at a Strauss-Kahn sex party at a Washington, D.C. hotel back in 2010.
	Strauss-Kahn was arrested last year after a New York City hotel maid accused him of raping her.
	Those charges were dropped, but she is now suing him in civil court.
	And the Colombian prostitute at the center of the Secret Service scandal is opening up about what happened.
	Dania London Suarez spoke at a Colombian radio station.
	She claims the agent owed her 800 bucks after the night with her.
	She called all the agents fools for not resolving the matter by giving her the money.
	And that is our weekly hooker report.
	Wait, I have a late entry to our weekly hooker report.
	Okay.
	As the Colombian prostitute known as Miss Suarez has been interviewed regularly now in Colombia.
	And I have a couple of quotes from her, if you would like to hear.
	Of course, she only speaks Colombian, but I have the quotes.
	Miss Suarez said, quote, they were a bunch of fools.
	They are responsible for Obama's security, and they still let this happen.
	I could have done a thousand other things.
	If I had wanted to, I could have gone through all his documents, his wallet, his suitcase.
	But here's the best part.
	Ms.
	Suarez told the Caracol News in Cartagena that she called the police after the Secret Service agent with whom she spent the night refused to pay her the $800 he had promised.
	Here's the quote.
	Let's go, bitch!
	I'm not going to pay you!
	I love that.
	Hey, bitch.
	Let's go, bitch.
	I'm not going to pay you.
	By the way, it was only $27.
	Not $30, not $37.
	$27 that he paid for a cab.
	That was what it was for.
	So, and that wraps up our weekly hooker report.
	God, we need a jingle for that, don't we?
	That's a beauty.
	Yeah, that'd be a great jingle.
	Somebody could have some fun with that one.
	But then we could also have our weekly zombie report.
	Oh, yeah.
	Hundreds of zombies have taken over the streets of Prague for the annual zombie walk through the Czech capital.
	People from all over the country dressed up as the waking dead with fake blood and painted white faces.
	The zombies walking through the city attracting locals and tourists along the way.
	It's the fifth year running that the procession has taken place.
	Now, I actually support this.
	Were there screaming going on?
	I think that would be good.
	A screaming background.
	Ah!
	So they show the...
	You support this.
	Yes, I do.
	Because they have a website.
	Zombiewalk.cz, or CZ if you're in America.
	And they actually explain what it's all about.
	I have the Google Translate, so I guess that's kind of good.
	Why we do it.
	So this is the Google Translate version, which is...
	interesting to read always.
	Deliberately sometimes look around you as you walk down the street.
	How many people you pass every day in the crowd, we can notice many features in common.
	Their views are extinct and living barely enough energy that the body is forced to perform mechanical tasks learned to work, shopping, home, television, and sleep.
	A similar disease affects a part of today's teenagers.
	The world is only to smirsknul 3D dimension of computer games.
	Heads have dealt only essential physical functions and need for passive Zabjavi.
	Widmeli, perhaps we resemblance between zombie movies and those who roam the streets, like a body without a soul.
	Maybe so.
	Nevertheless, we think, with enough exaggeration, between these individuals and zombies difference a few degrees Celsius of body temperature.
	In case of zombie walk, several layers of makeup.
	And if anyone sees this connection as well, we've achieved zombie walk result, in which we dare to hope.
	Let's meet the extraordinary reality.
	So, the idea, if I can read through the translation.
	Oh, yeah.
	It's kind of good.
	It's like, this is what you're seeing.
	Trying to make a point.
	It's a good point.
	I like it.
	Yeah, you guys are all zombies, and let's celebrate with, you know, your idiocy by showing you what you look like walking around, and they're, you know, it's kind of a satire.
	I like it.
	Why don't we have zombie walks here?
	I think they could catch on.
	Yeah, well, we do have streaking.
	They've heard my plea.
	Oh, was there some streakers?
	You become a sexual offender when you do streaking.
	That's the problem.
	Well, in Montreal...
	The students up in, actually, Quebec, and this is from one of our producers.
	He sent in a link, and the link is, of course, in French.
	The government and student unions have been butting heads for months now, and now the students are holding nightly marches in Montreal, and they're all walking around naked.
	It's awesome!
	The video is great!
	The video is great!
	Yeah!
	Yeah!
	It's not ugly.
	Some of them are hotties.
	All the girls got their boobs hanging out.
	They're walking around in diapers.
	It's crazy, I tell you.
	It's great.
	Can you imagine that happening in America?
	You'd be tased within three seconds.
	You'd be tased and then shot.
	Yeah, you pedo bear.
	You can't do that.
	That's no good.
	No, I thought that was outstanding.
	Very proud.
	Very proud of our Canadian brethren and sister up there.
	That's good.
	That's very good.
	So we wanted to talk a little bit about, this is a minute at least, about the blind dissident and the thing in China, trying to figure out what that's all about.
	Have you thought about this much?
	You know, the guy was busted into the U.S. Embassy, asked for asylum.
	This is of the name of Chen, I think.
	Chen is his name.
	He doesn't understand this situation.
	Yeah, that's it.
	And he wanted asylum, and they said, well, we're going to do a deal.
	He has to come back to the Chinese.
	The whole thing was done around Hillary's visit.
	It was timed beautifully.
	Yeah, it was kind of timed so we wouldn't pay attention to what she was saying.
	It was done by the Chinese.
	They sent the guy...
	Because the guy's always been under...
	First, he was arrested.
	He was in jail for four years, essentially for busting a bunch of corrupt politicians that were doing forced sterilizations in his part of China.
	And they were getting embarrassed by the party, and so they...
	Found the guy guilty of blocking traffic or something, some crazy charges that are pretty dumb.
	And they threw him in jail for four years, and then after they released him, they kept him under house arrest under lock and key.
	But by some wild coincidence, he got away and made his way to Beijing to be there a day before Hillary showed up.
	Yeah, interesting how that works, isn't it?
	Now, I'm...
	My thinking...
	At first, I was thinking, well, has this got something to do with that MI6 guy that was murdered?
	Now, it's probably not it.
	I think it's China...
	Doing this to purposely embarrass the United States government, make him lose face, because within this report, which I have here from the BBC, there is one face loss incident that takes place, and you'll hear it when he does the report.
	Our assistant ambassador, they let the guy go.
	Here's the story.
	They let the guy go, and then they locked him up again.
	He says, hey, you can't do that with or without assurances.
	So our assistant ambassador tried to visit him.
	To give him some gifts that people have collected for him and some cell phones.
	And a bunch of thugs kept the guy from going in and then told him to get out of there.
	And he had to leave the things on the porch.
	It was totally humiliating.
	And I think this was done to send a message to Hillary.
	And I'm not sure the message is that, you know, quit messing around with us because you're screwing us in Africa.
	But play this thing.
	The blind lawyer is one of China's most famous activists, detained for seven years, beaten savagely by Communist Party officials for exposing human rights abuses.
	From the hospital last night, Mr.
	Chen made a dramatic call to US congressmen.
	Under guard once again and afraid for his family, he appealed for help.
	He said China had broken its promise to guarantee his freedom and safety, and he wanted to go to America.
	Sorry, I can't make any comments here.
	The US Deputy Ambassador today had the humiliation of being prevented from seeing Mr.
	Chairman.
	The gifts and mobile phones he had for him were left on the doorstep.
	The way barred by plainclothes thugs.
	He then drove everyone out.
	The American embassy doctor and a translator were the only people allowed in.
	As they visited, China announced Mr.
	Chen could, like any citizen, apply to go abroad if he wanted.
	Across town, Hillary Clinton was meeting China's leaders to find ways the world's established superpower and its rising one can work together, whether tackling the nuclear programs of North Korea and Iran or conflicts in Sudan and Syria.
	What might make that easier, news at U.S. University has offered Mr.
	Chen a law fellowship.
	Over the course of the day, progress has been made to help him have the future that he wants and we will be staying in touch with him.
	Don't look over here.
	Nothing to see.
	So, the one thing to me that this was really all about was to show Hillary who's boss.
	I would agree with that.
	Honestly, I was feeling so poorly that I just couldn't deal with it.
	But all I know is that that was the only news.
	What she actually had to say, you saw no clips of...
	There's just no information.
	Do you even know what she said?
	What she was talking about?
	You know, no.
	And I agree with that.
	And here's the weird part that is not reported.
	But every time that she came in to meet with the Chinese guy, who was accompanying her?
	Not to meet with the Chinese guy.
	I'm talking about to meet with the top Chinese officials.
	But who was accompanying her, following her around everywhere she went?
	Kuma?
	Timmy.
	Oh, little Timmy.
	I found that very weird.
	Interesting.
	He was following her wherever she went.
	She sat down at the stage with the Chinese guy, and Timmy was sitting on a big chair right next to her.
	You know what his office number is?
	Someone sent me this at the Federal Reserve.
	Everyone has a number on their office.
	Yeah.
	3330.
	No.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Wow.
	Yeah.
	Wow.
	Yeah, I know.
	Wow.
	How wow is that?
	Well, that's, you know what?
	There is a video on videos.state.gov.
	I think I'll take a look at it, but it'll have to be tomorrow because I'm just, I'm dizzy.
	I don't think it's a topic we need to follow anymore because it just seems to me to be just sort of a, just some, you know, posturing.
	I think it's bullcrap.
	Okay.
	Okay.
	In pipeline news, some interesting things taking place.
	Russia and Japan, and this is historically interesting, and let's see if you remember this, are now in talks to build a gas pipeline, which will go from Russia to the Sakhalin Island.
	Now, do you know about the Sakhalin Island?
	No, but I'm going to find out.
	Well, the Sakhalin Island has always been a major...
	Bone of contention?
	Bone of contention between the Russians and the Japanese.
	And this, if you look at the...
	If you consult the Book of Knowledge, this goes way, way back.
	How do you spell it?
	Sierra Alpha Kilo Hotel Alpha Lima India November Essentially, the last time that these guys fought over these islands, where it was a huge liquid natural gas plant, processing plant, was after the Second World War.
	And the Soviets essentially took over, and they were supposed to give it back, but they never did, and it keeps coming up.
	And you remember in 83, Korean Air Flight 007, which was shot down, that happened over these islands.
	Because they thought they were encroaching on their sovereign airspace.
	So now all of a sudden the Russians and the Japanese, and of course we know that we desperately want to get gas to the Japanese because they need it.
	They've shut down their last nuclear reactor, even though they have tons of gas underneath Tokyo itself, which of course they can't do much with.
	Imagine fracking there.
	Everyone's like just pining.
	We're trying to send stuff off of our Gulf Coast.
	Everyone's trying to get the gas to Japan because that's going to be a bonanza.
	But interesting that this is happening with the Sakhalin Islands.
	And just something to keep our eye on.
	Then we had a drone strike.
	I love the way the New York Times reports on this.
	New York Times, you guys are crap, okay?
	You're total bullcrap.
	You're shills for the Ministry of Truth.
	Just how they report.
	You okay?
	What are you doing?
	Yeah, it's just a shot through the window.
	Keep going.
	Did you shoot someone?
	No.
	An American drone fired a volley of missiles into a house close to the Afghan border on Saturday, killing eight suspected militants and indicating U.S. resolve to continue with the attacks despite renewed Pakistani opposition, officials said.
	Where was this strike?
	Well, would you believe it was North Waziristan?
	Yeah.
	And of course, so Balachistan, I guess, is done.
	It's right in the red book.
	That's right.
	Did we put that in the book, didn't we?
	Balachistan, Waziristan.
	So this is pipeline protection, people.
	Yeah, this is pipeline protection.
	So Afghanistan, we're done.
	We'll keep our guys in until 2024 to make sure no one messes with the pipeline.
	Balachistan, I guess it goes with...
	And the poppies.
	And the poppies.
	I guess those guys were a pushover.
	I did get a letter from one of our listeners, by the way, who said he has a friend in Afghanistan, and he was bitching to him because all they were doing was protecting the poppy fields.
	Oh, yeah.
	And so Waziristan, that is exactly where the pipeline goes through, as predicted.
	And now, oh, we have militants.
	I'm sorry, it's Al-Qaeda, insurgency.
	And we're just droning people.
	Ugh.
	Once the word gets out that you're going to get droned if you start messing with the pipelines, I think that's a form of protection.
	That's a good job.
	We're doing well.
	And then I read something that I thought I would just bring up because we talk a lot about fracking.
	And, you know, if you relate this to vaccines, as an example, if you create a vaccine, and as long as you call it a vaccine, I think you're okay.
	I mean, we have a new...
	I have it in the show notes, actually.
	We have this anti-nicotine vaccine so that you won't want to smoke.
	It's not a vaccine.
	Well, they actually say in that report...
	Although nicotine is not a virus, the nanoparticles target the chemicals as if it were by initiating an immune response.
	This is the trick, see?
	This is how they get it.
	This is bogative.
	Well, the reason why they do it is because then they can't get sued because the American government has indemnified all pharmaceutical companies from being sued over anything that happens to you due to a vaccine.
	We know this.
	Oh, that's nice.
	I like it.
	Good thinking.
	So it turns out, that language is important.
	And by the way, I've gotten a lot of emails from doctors saying, Hey man, you know what you're talking about?
	You're full of crap, man.
	It is a vaccine because it works on the nanoparticles.
	Okay.
	Fine.
	So it works like an immune thing.
	Good.
	So it targets the immune response.
	So you can call it a vaccine.
	Great.
	So we can't sue you.
	But I found out something about fracking, which is along the same lines, which is called the Halliburton loophole.
	Have you ever heard of this?
	Yeah, I think so.
	This has to do with water?
	Yes, yes.
	So first of all, fracking, which is, if you hear about shale gas, getting gas from shale, they do that through fracking.
	And the reason, of course, that we can do that now is because there's almost enough money to do it, but they've really got to raise the price of natural gas in order to do it really profitable.
	But they'll get there.
	The real reason for the recent explosion of fracking in the United States is the passage of legislation in 2005 by U.S. Congress that exempts the oil industry's hydraulic fracking activity from regulatory supervision by the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency under the Safe Drinking Water Act.
	The oil and gas industry is the only industry in America that is allowed by the EPA to inject known hazardous materials directly into or adjacent to underground drinking water supplies.
	It's known as the Halliburton loophole.
	And of course this was brought in by Dick Cheney when he became vice president.
	So, this fracking business, it's a bonanza.
	Because even if you, you know, look on YouTube, just, you know, igniting your faucet.
	You know, lighting your water on, take a lighter to your faucet.
	And people can actually make the water that comes out of their faucet burn because of all these highly dangerous chemicals that are being used for fracking.
	It's getting into the water supply.
	But the U.S. government has indemnified the oil and gas industry against this.
	So you're saying that this is Stanisław Cheney being in office and Halliburton loophole?
	Yep.
	How long has Obama been in office?
	Let me think.
	He's working on his fourth year now?
	What has he done about this?
	He's more.
	More.
	More of it.
	More fracking.
	And he's got that horrible Sheila Jackson, or whatever her name is.
	Sheila, what is her name?
	Sheila Jackson Lee.
	No, no, the head of the EPA. Oh, Lisa Jackson.
	Martha.
	Fred Jackson.
	What is her name?
	Her name is now Fred Jackson.
	Fred Jackson.
	She's like, you know, what good is she?
	Why didn't she come in there?
	She's such a tough babe.
	No.
	No, I think it's not going to happen.
	Scams.
	Alright, so now let me move back to vaccines because I continue to get fantastic information.
	And I will remind everybody that, you know, Pfizer reported their numbers 19 percent drop in profit because of the the bonanza they had with their pharmaceuticals that have gone out of patent.
	And so vaccines is, of course, the new bonanza, particularly if you can now say, well, it initiates an immune response.
	Therefore, it is a vaccine.
	So you can't get sued, which means you don't have to do long clinical trials and all of this stuff.
	And the BBC is shilling a report from the Lancet.
	And here's the title.
	Antipsychotic Drugs Made Me Want to Kill Myself.
	And here's what it's about.
	So there's been a couple of reports recently that placebos work just as well as these antidepressants.
	And there's some real scientific studies that have been done.
	I forget the guy's name.
	There's a doctor who's been pushing this.
	He'll be dead soon enough.
	Don't worry.
	And they tested it, and people who received the placebo think, wow, I feel better, and they actually feel better.
	But this report now...
	It's saying that over years, over a long length of time, that you need to actually be taking the real deal, otherwise you could have a relapse into schizophrenia.
	So they're now using, once again, the scientific community to promote psychotropic drugs.
	It's only good if you take it for a long, long time.
	10 to 15 years.
	Otherwise, you might want to kill yourself again.
	Yeah.
	They do their part.
	And then my favorite...
	Probably be damned.
	We've been talking about the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders known as DSM. DSM-5 is on its way right now, and this is the manual that determines and defines what the autistic spectrum disorder is.
	All the rest of it.
	And it turned out that being a podcaster means you're clinically insane.
	You have ODD. Podcastology.
	So, this is the...
	Here, on March 13th, PLOS Medicine, whoever that is, but I like it.
	Now it's an independent group that is good.
	Examine the financial conflicts of interest of members of the American Psychiatric Association responsible for updating this DSM manual, the so-called Bible of Psychiatry.
	Despite a new APA policy designed to address conflicts of interest, nearly 70% of current DSM-5 task force members have financial relationships with pharmaceutical companies, up from 57% from the previous manuals version.
	But even better, 83% of current contributors to the psychiatric disorders section and everyone responsible for the sleep disorders section have links to the pharmaceutical industry.
	83%.
	It's a bonanza.
	Well, I'll put it in the red book.
	It's the sleep disorder.
	That's where the new pills will be sleep disorder because that's where all the shills are in.
	Okay.
	Sleep disorder.
	You got it in the red book?
	I just put it in.
	I just put the word sleep disorder and then put your initials and I'm highlighting it with the pink highlighter.
	Wait a minute.
	Let me sign it with the auto pen.
	Hold on.
	Okay, done.
	So, a couple of light stories.
	Before we wrap it up with Gary Johnson's Libertarian nomination speech.
	The funniest story I thought this week was this one, Best Buy Punk's Customer.
	Does it need a lead-in?
	Uh, no.
	Ringing off the hook.
	Yeah, argh.
	Zip it on your sides.
	Michael Finney is here to explain.
	Oh, this is a nightmare.
	Yeah, listen to this.
	A man who tried to get his cell phone repaired has a warning to all of us.
	Log out of your mobile accounts first.
	Rich Dewberry returned his faulty cell phone to Best Buy, but forgot to log out of his mobile Facebook account.
	Minutes after he left the store, a Facebook status message went out from his old phone saying he is gay.
	He says a Best Buy employee must have sent it.
	Instantly, friends and relatives began calling.
	Just having to explain it to certain people that I haven't been in contact with in a while, I feel I shouldn't have to do that.
	Oh, gay.
	Well, that's kind of the punchline.
	Gaydar went off.
	They showed the message that says, I am gay, I'm coming out.
	And the guy sends this to the whole Facebook universe.
	I was thinking, wow.
	Ah, that's great.
	What a gag.
	Oh, that's fantastic.
	Millennials will do these.
	They'll be working at some place.
	They're not getting paid enough anyway.
	And they'll pull a gag like this and then they get fired and say, ah, screw you.
	I didn't want this job anyway.
	And so I think it'd be more stories like this.
	That's great.
	I thought it was pretty humorous in some funny, sick way.
	By the way, I did want to mention something in today's New York Times.
	Don't need to run in for it.
	On the Sunday Review, there's a new thing opening up.
	Apparently a lot of life coaches, and I don't know if you've ever run into one of these phonies, but a life coach is a guy who's I actually saw one outside of a restaurant with a guy who was some guy with too much money.
	I guess he was a dot-com guy who made a lot of money.
	So he hired a life coach because he was clueless about how to order from a menu, I guess.
	I don't know.
	And the life coach is out there giving him a pep talk.
	Come on, you can do it.
	You can get in there and you can tell the waitress that the food was cold.
	Whatever.
	So now the life coaches, I can read a couple of things from this.
	They've created a new job for themselves called a wantologist.
	A wantologist?
	In the sprawling outskirts of San Jose, I find myself at the apartment door of Catherine Ziegler, a psychologist and wantologist.
	Could it be?
	I wonder.
	And is there such a thing as a wantologist?
	Someone we can hire to figure out what we want.
	I want that job.
	I should hire a wantologist to become a wantologist.
	A willowy woman of 55, Mrs.
	Ziegler, beckons me in.
	A framed Ph.D. degree in psychology from the University of Illinois hangs on the wall along with an intricate handmade quilt and a collage of images clipped from the magazines, the back of the child's head, blah, blah, blah.
	After a 20-year career as a psychologist, she expanded her practice to include executive coaching.
	Mm-hmm.
	We need to do media coaching, by the way.
	Life coaching and Wontology.
	Apparently there's a seminar you take from some other phony.
	And you can get accredited?
	Yeah, as a Wontologist.
	And then people, idiots, will call you up and they'll say, you know, I need a Wontologist so bad because I'm trying to buy some shoes on eBay, the mail-order shoe thing, and I don't know how to do it.
	I'm an idiot.
	I'm a bonehead.
	I don't know.
	I need a Wontologist.
	Anyway.
	I'm looking this up.
	That's our culture.
	Welcome to it.
	I'm looking up Wontologist.
	This is, what a bonanza.
	Oh, yeah.
	Well, let me tell you a little story before we leave about a life coach.
	Because, you know, if you want to know where life coaches are, California is the place for you.
	They're crawling with them.
	So this is a story from one of Ms.
	Meckie's acquaintances, who shall obviously go unnamed.
	And she checks in from time to time, and she's wealthy.
	Let's put it that way.
	And she's like, yeah, I met this guy, and it's kind of feeling good.
	She has a kid who's recently separated, divorced, whatever.
	And here's how it works.
	It's usually a tennis coach.
	And so this guy's a tennis coach, you know, and then he says, you know, but I'm also a life coach.
	And then, you know, well, I can help you.
	And before you know it, like, they're making out.
	And then, you know, it's like, but, you know, I don't want to confuse it.
	I think we can do this.
	You know, I can separate my professional relationship with you from my personal relationship.
	And meanwhile, he's soaking her for thousands of dollars.
	Wait a minute.
	He's making it with her and then it's charging.
	He's like a hooker.
	Yeah.
	He should be in the weekly hooker report.
	He should be in the weekly hooker report, but this is very typical.
	He's a good-looking guy, and he's really zen, and he's calm.
	That's where we kind of strike out on being life coaches.
	We're going to lose business.
	We could pull it off, but we'd be big phonies, which is the reason that we are even doing this show, because we're deconstructing phoniness.
	Phoniness.
	But the Wontologist, I think, is good.
	That is a winner.
	It's the next step.
	A lot of life coaches, according to this article, a very long article, you can check it out in the New York Times, a lot of life coaches have gone into ontology.
	I'm looking up a article.
	I can't believe anybody's so stupid as to look up a ontologist and then they make fun of a bunch of other crazy things going on.
	There's, I'm looking up an article that I saw posted in, hold on, saw posted on a Dutch website, apparently in the Netherlands, because the economy, they produce nothing, right?
	Chickens?
	No, machines that kill chickens.
	Yeah, well that's something.
	Okay, hold on, let me see if I can find this.
	Gosh, I should have bookmarked this a long time ago.
	Here it is.
	Great, I've got it.
	I'll give you a lineup of types of coaches they have in Holland.
	Hold on, I'm just navigating to this article.
	Because they have a coach for everything, and people are actually charging people because they've got no money.
	Here we have, in the Netherlands, registered social media coach, garden coach, Aura coach.
	Compliment coach.
	Wow!
	The sex coach.
	Moving coach.
	Child coach.
	Coach coach.
	Menstrual syndrome coach.
	And what are those?
	It's called a caveat in Dutch.
	What is the gerbil?
	Gerbil coach.
	What?
	Gerbil coach.
	That's for the gay practice?
	No.
	Is that what you're talking about?
	Let me see.
	She's got a Twitter account.
	These are all links.
	She's just talking about raising small animals.
	Probably.
	Coach.
	Yeah.
	So there's a coach for every...
	And they're called coaches.
	They use the word coach.
	So you call him up and you say, I want to get a canary.
	I'm looking for a canary coach so I know what to do with my canary because I can't look it up on Google how to feed a canary because I'm an idiot.
	And so I need somebody to tell me?
	Is that what this is all about?
	This is Niels, Niels Tekker.
	At ProvoCavia, I'm a provocative coach who helps professionals via a magic mix of warmth, humor, and...
	What's the word?
	And challenge to help you get out of your stuck situation and patterns.
	Oh, he's got a whole website.
	It looks like a douche.
	Oh, training coaches.
	Oh, man, look at all these coaches.
	Go to this website.
	www.MikeEchoEchoRomeo www.MikeEchoRomeo EchoEchoRomeo EchoRomeo KiloAlphaTango KiloAlphaTango.eu Meerkat?
	Yep.
	I think I got too many R's in there.
	It's only one R. Two E's and one R. M-E-R-K-A-T? M-E-E-R-K-A-T dot E-U. M-E-E-R, okay.
	Look at these guys.
	Okay, hang on.
	Bunch of douches.
	Well, what do you expect?
	This is a scam.
	This is like Singularity University.
	Yeah, training, coaching, advisories, advisers.
	Yeah.
	Look at them.
	Wow.
	Wow.
	It's great.
	And people buy this.
	Yeah, well, it's because they learn.
	This is like the training.
	It's like if people, when they had S, the Earhart seminars and some of LifeSpring and some of these different systems that they teach people, they have a compelling spiel.
	It sounds like you're getting educated and then they can train other people to be trainers.
	It's called the training.
	These guys should all be members of Singularity University.
	Totally.
	It's all Singularity University.
	You guys are all the same like this.
	Awesome.
	Yeah.
	You know, this is to take people's money.
	It's a way to take people's money.
	Here's the sad thing.
	They're making more money than we are.
	Yep.
	But you know that.
	But they're also scamming people.
	That's true.
	No scams allowed here.
	All right.
	So we've got the Gary Johnson clip for people who want to hear what he said to get nominated as a Libertarian presidential candidate.
	All right.
	And I will be reading the IPCC report on how to use...
	What was it again?
	Use what?
	Well, the title of that report, the IPCC report.
	It's 594 pages...
	Managing the risks for the benefit of the...
	Yeah, whatever.
	Managing the climate risk for the benefit of climate change.
	Managing the risk of extreme events and disasters to advance climate change adaptation.
	Yeah.
	Believe in climate change or you will die, slave!
	That's how it works.
	We have a No Agenda Producer update coming up on the stream right after we're done.
	And we welcome Jack Blood, our new in-the-morning guy.
	He's from Austin, Texas, by the way.
	You can listen to him on the stream in the mornings.
	I think he starts pretty soon.
	So until Thursday, well, I'll try to read at least 100 pages a day in the morning, everybody.
	My name's Adam Curry.
	And without further ado, from northern Silicon Valley, I'm John C. Dvorak.
	Talk to you on Thursday right here on No Agenda.
	Great individual, and I urge you all to vote for Gary Johnson.
	Thank you.
	Thank you very much.
	I want to be the Libertarian nominee for president.
	Look, a presidential candidate has to recognize the problems that face this country.
	Give the solutions that go along with the problems and only the libertarian candidate is going to offer up the solutions to the problems that we have.
	And then you've got to have a resume to go along with that.
	And I think I've got the resume.
	I've been an entrepreneur my entire life.
	I've been an athlete my entire life.
	I got to be governor of New Mexico for two terms.
	I said no to bigger government.
	How did that work out in a state that was two to one Democrat?
	You know, they did a poll on the favorability of all the presidential candidates running.
	And there was only one presidential candidate running that was viewed favorably in his or her own state.
	The fact is, how did it work out in New Mexico?
	I'm telling you, people in New Mexico wave at me with all five fingers, not just one.
	Good, good government.
	Good government was easy.
	It wasn't hard.
	It was easy to look at issues first, second, third, last, politics last, non-existent.
	And people saw it.
	I really do think I have a resume when it comes to civil liberties that I've got it in spades.
	I really think that I've got it in spades when it comes to fiscal responsibility.
	And I base that on the fact that I may have vetoed more legislation than the other 49 governors in the country combined.
	All All governance needs to occur under strict adherence to the United States Constitution.
	As Governor of New Mexico, As governor of New Mexico, I made very few promises.
	I promised to veto any tax increases.
	I vetoed every single tax increase.
	Not one single penny of tax was increased over an eight-year period in New Mexico.
	That had never happened before.
	I promised that there would be fewer state employees when I left office than when I got there.
	There were 1200 fewer state employees when I left office.
	A 10% reduction in state government employees when I left office.
	That had never happened in the history of the state.
	I promised to increase as a percentage of the budget the amount of money that we spent on education every year and did that for eight straight years, which gave me the liberty to talk about real school reform, which was bringing competition to public education.
	If I would have promised everything that I delivered as governor of New Mexico, I would have never been elected because I would have been just another blowhard politician.
	Thank you.
	As president, I am promising to submit a balanced budget to Congress.
	As president, I am promising to veto legislation where expenses exceed revenue.
	As president, I am promising to advocate on the part of the fair tax.
	And look, I'm listening.
	I promise to advocate on the part of the less unfair tax.
	I promise.
	I promise to end the military wars.
	I promise to end the war...
	I promise to end the war in Afghanistan.
	I promise to bring the troops home.
	I promise...
	I promise to end the costly and ineffective war on drugs.
	Look, most Americans are fiscally responsible and socially tolerant.
	I fall in that group.
	I think this is a broad brushstroke of the Libertarian Party.
	A broad brushstroke of the Libertarian Party is government needs to exist to protect us against force and fraud.
	Government needs to exist to protect us against individuals, groups, corporations, countries that would do us harm.
	Imagine a libertarian president challenging Congress to bring about marriage equality.
	Imagine a libertarian president challenging Congress to reduce impediments to free markets.
	Free markets means no tariffs.
	Imagine a libertarian candidate for president challenging Congress to repeal the Patriot Act, abolish the Department of Homeland Security.
	Imagine a libertarian president challenging Congress for meaningful immigration reform.
	The libertarian candidate for president is going to be the only candidate talking about gun rights and gay rights in the same sentence.
	The libertarian candidate for president is the only candidate that's going to be talking about slashing welfare spending and slashing warfare spending in the same sentence.
	Thank you.
	The change to me to be a libertarian is not a change.
	I have always been a libertarian.
	I pledge to be active in the Libertarian Party beyond the 2012 election.
	Make no bones about it.
	The goal here is to win the election.
	It's always been about the message.
	I think the message that I'm delivering is the same message as that of Ron Paul.
	Ron Paul has always said he's a messenger.
	Ron Paul a week ago says, look, I'm not dropping out of this race because the crowds are growing.
	This is the growing movement in America today, and when Ron Paul's candidacy comes to an end, and I hope it doesn't, I hope he's the Republican nominee, but I think it is going to come to an end, and when it comes to an end, where does this message go?
	Well, it continues, and there's an absolute viable alternative to voting for Ron Paul.
	it will be the Libertarian nominee.
	This is not 2008.
	I debated Bob Barr in the year 2000 at the Republican National Convention in Philadelphia on drug policy.
	Somewhere between that debate and 2008, he fell out of bed, hit his head, and became a libertarian.
	I'm glad it happened.
	This is not about 2008.
	I don't have any of that baggage hanging in back of me.
	I did a...
	I did an NPR interview yesterday, all things considered.
	The question was, if you're on the torture rack and they're going to kill you, who are you going to vote for?
	Mitt Romney or Barack Obama?
	My response was, look, I've climbed Mount Everest.
	I know what it is to hunker down and do what it takes.
	Take this to the bank.
	I would die.
	Collectively, the country does not need to die.
	There is only one choice, and it's going to be the Libertarian nominee for president.
	I respectfully ask you for that nomination.
	Thank you very much.

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