Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool

All Episodes

Previous Next

May 15, 2011 - No Agenda

02:13:47

304: Chimp in Heat

Large

Audio Only |

Scroll

Time	Text
	What evidence is there of this?
	Adam Curry.
	John C. Dvorak.
	It's Sunday, May 15, 2011.
	Time for your Gitmo Nation Media Assassination Episode 304.
	This is no agenda.
	Tracking the horny bankster elites from high atop the hilltop watchtower crackpot command center in Gitmo Nation West, the People's Republic of Southern California in the morning.
	I'm Adam Curry.
	And from northern Silicon Valley, where if you're from around these parts, you'll know about Beta Breakers.
	It's going on now.
	I'm John C. Dvorak.
	It's Craig Vaughn and Buzzkill.
	In the morning.
	Bonjour, Jean-Claude Dvorak.
	So, they had the Beta Breakers, you know, which is a stupid race where everyone gets dressed up in costumes and runs from one end of the city to the other?
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	But this year they clamped down on it.
	They don't want anyone drinking.
	Oh, no.
	Of course not.
	They don't want anyone peeing along the way.
	Oh, no.
	Oh, no.
	It was just a...
	Hey, shut up.
	While we're on that topic, let me just mention something I've been failing to mention show after show.
	San Francisco, thanks to this former idiot mayor, has decided to implement, and it's just about, it hasn't been fully put into play, but they want to now, in all nightclubs in San Francisco, take your thumbprint.
	Yeah, yeah.
	You know about this.
	Yeah, I've heard about this.
	Before you go in.
	Yeah, it's crazy.
	It's totally crazy.
	It's nuts.
	Why don't they just say, hey, all you bars and places, just shut down now.
	Just shut up and shut down now, I think, is what it's all about.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Hey, I'm sorry I'm late, by the way.
	And excuse me, can we just have a little in the morning to you?
	Oh, and in the morning to you.
	Yeah, in the morning to all ships that see all boots on the ground and all of the human resources in the chat room who are all charged up, ready to go exactly the way their government loves them and their $9.1 million lifetime value.
	And again, I will say bonjour Jean-Claude.
	Jean-Claude Dvorak.
	I'm practicing my French because now we have to understand French to get the latest news.
	What is the latest news?
	Well, it's about Dominique Strauss-Kahn.
	This is fantastic news.
	What a crock.
	This poor guy.
	Poor guy, please.
	Apparently he can walk on any Air France flight and they have to put him on in first class.
	Yeah, this is like the super elite.
	Yeah, talk about elite.
	You can go walk.
	It's just like having a Eurail pass.
	You're telling me that you can go walk up...
	Hey, I'm going to Paris.
	No, no, no.
	Here's a first class seat for you.
	Hey, you sitting there, get out.
	Get out, slave.
	Make place for DSK. Yeah, this guy's pretty amazing.
	So for those of you who have not heard about this, this is Dominique Strauss-Kahn, which sounds more German, by the way, than French.
	But he is...
	Yeah, he is not only the...
	Operational director of the International Monetary Fund, i.e.
	the primarily American banks who are taking over the world and ruining most of Europe, and part of the whole economic hitman status symbol system.
	But he is also apparently the only true contender.
	Was.
	Was the only true contender.
	Was.
	Yeah.
	Against Nicolas Sarkozy to take over.
	And this is the weird thing because he was running as a part of the Socialist Party, as the front runner for the Socialist Party.
	But it's kind of weird when you have a socialist who has, like, you know, Porsches.
	Oh, yeah, he's loaded.
	$3 million house in D.C., $2.5 million apartment in Paris.
	Yeah, and it's totally loaded.
	And I've really been trying to follow a lot of this.
	It's kind of difficult, of course, because my French is not all that great.
	But the French are kind of nuts.
	And actually, this is very typical for a socialist country.
	And I've lived in a couple.
	When confronted with, you know, hey, well, this guy, you know, he's a socialist.
	You want him, you know, how can he be a socialist?
	How can he be really leftist if he's, you know, a rich bastard?
	And the standard answer is, what, you want him just because he has money?
	He cannot have socialist tendencies?
	What, he has to eat sandwiches and drive a dish of all?
	Yes.
	Yeah, exactly.
	That's what I say.
	Here's the response in Paris.
	This comes from Euronews, by the way.
	The accusations of sexual assault...
	As you can tell from the British accent.
	...against IMF head and potential French presidential candidate Dominique Strauss-Kahn have sent shockwaves through French politics.
	But socialist leader Martine Aubry rallied behind her former government colleague.
	Like everyone, I am totally amazed.
	But I urge that we wait for all the facts.
	We must respect the presumption of innocence.
	Parisians reacted with horror to the arrest of the man many see as the left's only credible challenger to Nicolas Sarkozy in next year's elections.
	He is someone who could give something to France.
	We need people like him, especially on the left.
	I'm now waiting to hear some proof.
	It's too early to make a judgment.
	This woman says that Strauss-Kahn was the only candidate from the left for whom she could have voted.
	But now, I have to be honest, this is a little bit too much, she says.
	It's a bit strange that a few months before the elections, this affair occurs.
	Maybe we should ask ourselves if it's a setup.
	Strauss-Kahn, who has been widely lauded for his leadership of the IMF, faces three charges, including attempted rape relating to an incident with a New York hotel maid.
	So a couple of things here.
	First of all, I'm not exactly sure.
	So there's like three pieces of data that we need to analyze, John.
	One is that this is not the first time this guy has been compared to a, and I quote, chimpanzee and heat.
	This has happened earlier in 2002, and it happened with a subordinate of his in 2008.
	That was all kind of hush-hush cover-up, so...
	Maybe he's a pervert.
	I mean, the New York Post, I think, had probably the best description of what happened.
	Yeah.
	I read them all.
	I read it all.
	It's great.
	Yeah, go ahead.
	Supposedly, the maid walks in, doo-doo-doo.
	31-year-old man.
	She walks in and then this guy is in the bathroom, unbeknownst to her.
	He comes bounding out naked.
	Hot pockets.
	But what does this sound like to you?
	Does this story sound familiar?
	This is the Al Gore story.
	It is the Al Gore story.
	This is the Al Gore.
	It's an allegorical story.
	Let me give you a little In the Morning.
	In the Morning.
	So, yeah, so Al Gore was the horny poodle, the poodle in heat, as he attacked, allegedly attacked the masseuse, and this is the chimpanzee in heat.
	Dominique Strauss-Kahn, and he...
	I guess he actually forced her head onto his penis.
	Yeah, no, he supposedly forced her...
	I guess he comes bounding out naked, and she can't kick him or anything, I guess, because she's stunned.
	And the guy is huge.
	He looks like Brian Dennehy.
	He's a big, fat guy.
	Yeah, he's huge.
	He's frightening.
	Imagine that guy naked, with his heart on poking in your direction.
	So here he comes.
	And so the next thing you know, she's like, oh!
	Well, there are a couple of things going on here.
	There's a couple of interesting things.
	So he was actually on his way to Europe, and he had a meeting scheduled with Angela Merkel.
	For the re-restructuring, the do-over of the Greek debt, of which I believe 30% is held by the IMF. And, you know, they've been holding all these secret meetings with the finance ministers because this is a real problem.
	You know the people are eating out of garbage cans in Athens?
	I mean, this is like, we have no idea, of course, here because it's not shown anywhere.
	That's new?
	No, this is really, really bad.
	Now, it's gotten to the point where just people are leaving Athens.
	They're driving 200 kilometers outside of Athens and growing weeds and sticks to live off of.
	So this guy was on his way to go discuss that.
	Now there's another puppet that pops up who is a J.P. Morgan guy.
	He's now in charge of the IMF operations.
	And so it could have been an inside job.
	So here are the options.
	A, the guy's just an elitist prick, and he's just a frickin' idiot, and he did this, and this is just what he does.
	It's a possibility.
	It's a total possibility.
	Yeah.
	Two, this has to do with an internal struggle inside the IMF, because he actually said something really, you know, it's possible in the elitist circles that they want to get you out because you make too much noise.
	Right?
	And you start saying stuff, and they're like, you know, you really need to shut up, dude.
	And sometimes these guys don't know how to do it.
	Yeah, and let me mention one more thing, at least a logical point of information.
	Can I just give you one quote before I do that?
	So here's the quote that, if that is what happened, the quote that got him in trouble was with the, I think this was the Guardian.
	Quote, the reality is these people, he's talking about the Greek, are in deep shit.
	If we had not come, they would have fallen into the abyss two weeks later and the government would not have been able to pay civil servants wages.
	This is a direct quote from him.
	So, you know, that combined with the houses...
	I don't know if that quote is that big of a deal.
	Yeah, because you're not supposed to be saying that in the international press.
	I mean, we all know the IMF is raping Ireland, Greece...
	I mean, I don't think that's worth setting them up on a rape charge.
	I think this has only got to do with the Sarkozy election.
	Yeah, that's, well...
	So there's your third.
	But what I like about this is now this is the second time this has really happened where it's taken an elitist out of the picture.
	Because of course the guy, you know, I would be highly surprised if he ran and he had any chance.
	He's not running now.
	But what's cool about it is this is our ultimate weapon against the elitists.
	So all we need is some heroic charges.
	Yes, we need some heroic maids.
	That may just be what happened.
	That's also possible.
	Wouldn't that be beautiful?
	Well, I will carry this woman on my shoulders for the rest of my life.
	Think about it.
	This is perfect.
	And I have to say, though, they got on the plane, they got the guy, they're on the tarmac, ten minutes before they're ready to take off.
	This is not like just your regular old little job, you know what I'm saying?
	Someone set him up for sure.
	Yeah, in New York or anyplace else, it would take...
	Days.
	Days.
	This happened around noon.
	And it's not like the cops are like, who's Dominique?
	What?
	Dominique Stravinsky?
	What's his name?
	Yeah, well, let me take your details, man.
	Has this happened before?
	Can you sit over here?
	For one thing, they wouldn't get her statement for hours.
	And then it would be like, okay, what are we going to do?
	Where is he now?
	Where does he check out?
	They wouldn't be going into high gear over this.
	What did he do?
	Did he hurt you?
	So there's one alternative.
	There's an alternative theory.
	Because where is Haiku Herman in the midst of all of this?
	He is in China selling the European debt to the Chinese.
	So maybe he or the Chinese or people loyal to the Chinese and their bailout power.
	Because the Chinese, of course, they're looking at Greece going like, they've got some nice-ass islands there.
	I think I'll get me one of them.
	They say that in Chinese.
	But that's kind of what it sounds like.
	Because everything's being privatized.
	I think I'll get me a...
	But China could do worse than buy some islands.
	Exactly.
	And they love it.
	I mean, the Chinese are everywhere.
	They love buying up stuff.
	Well, obviously there's a lot of dimensions to this, but the fact is that they did get him off the plane in more than enough time.
	How did they know it was that plane?
	How did they know that he has a free pass on Air France?
	That makes no sense.
	And since he does have a free pass, here's a good one.
	If he's got a free pass and he can just walk on any plane and take off, how are they going to know what plane he's on?
	Yeah.
	There's no manifest.
	They can't go over manifest.
	Oh, there he goes.
	Well, I think it may be a little exaggeration.
	He probably has to walk up to the desk and say, Bonjour.
	But still, how's the cops usually when they're trying to stop...
	Come here with your mouth.
	Put it on my penis.
	They have to look at some manifests.
	From New York to Paris, there's plenty of flights.
	How do they know he's going to Paris?
	Because it's a setup.
	The whole thing is an obvious setup based on that one fact alone.
	How do you know he's on that plane?
	And look at the speed of the news.
	And who breaks the news?
	The British newspapers.
	They broke it before the New York newspapers.
	At least that's the timeline.
	This is a sleazy deal.
	So there is another guy, though.
	There is another contender.
	Francois Hollande.
	He's another contender to compete against Sarkozy.
	He's also a member of...
	I don't know if it's the same or a socialist party.
	He, by the way, also...
	Uh, has had his, uh, uh, his extramarital affairs and all kinds of scandals.
	You know, but the French, like, this is the thing.
	The French never used to care about this.
	Since when did the French care about it?
	I don't think, I still don't think they do.
	The French have, you know, it's well known, all the French leaders have always had chickies on the side and whatever, and they've never cared.
	Have they?
	Not that I know of.
	Same in Italy.
	But think about it.
	In Italy, they laugh.
	Yeah.
	No, in Italy it's worse.
	This is what my sister told me.
	In Italy it's like, well, if I was in that position I'd do the same he's doing.
	Stupid slaves.
	Take your damn meds.
	Oh, a production note.
	Mickey, could you bring me my blue thing?
	Thank you, love.
	Blue thing, blue thing alert.
	I need the blue thing.
	Anyway, so this whole thing is hilarious.
	In the meantime, it does actually delay necessary funds coming from the IMF to Greece, and who knows?
	Maybe they only have two weeks left, and then they can't pay the wages of the government slaves.
	That'll be a problem.
	Maybe they're just doing this to make sure that they get cut out of the EU. Yeah, well, they'll be the first of them.
	But seriously, they had this backroom, thank you darling, this backroom gathering these guys had, all the finance ministers of the G20, thank you.
	There's some serious crap going on.
	Because Portugal's bailout is right behind, and then we still have Spain and Ireland.
	The slaves in Ireland are pissed off.
	So, maybe the whole idea is just to bring it all down.
	I don't know.
	Well, you know, that sounds like a good plan.
	I still hold like 10 euros.
	Yeah, the euro is like crashing.
	No, it's not.
	It went from 148 to 141 in like two days.
	That's pretty hefty.
	When it was going between 140 and 125, it was going down a lot faster.
	It's not going to go down, well, I don't know, maybe this, let me take a look at it.
	Well, isn't the dollar going down at the same time, so it kind of doesn't matter?
	No, when you're talking 148 to 141, you're talking about the dollar, so the dollar's going up.
	I mean, what are you comparing it to?
	You're comparing it to the dollar.
	So if the euro's going down, the dollar's going up.
	Okay.
	Right.
	But you're saying it's not...
	I guess what I'm saying is if the dollar devalues as well along with the euro, then they kind of stay in...
	No, that's all we compare it to.
	I mean, this is compared to the yen and the pound, but generally speaking, when you're talking about the value of the dollar, generally speaking, you're talking about it compared to the euro.
	So you don't have both of them going down at the same time.
	I mean, theoretically, it's possible, which would put the ridiculous British pound sterling in the driver's seat, because that and the yen are the only other two currencies that are important.
	I mean, the rest of them are small potatoes, including the Australian dollar.
	But the fact of the matter is...
	Generally speaking, you're talking about the dollar versus the dollar.
	But it went from like $148 to $141 in a week's time or something.
	It went pretty quick, I think.
	Well, I'm trying to give you time to look.
	Sorry, you're right.
	It's down at $141.17.
	See, told you.
	Well, it's still too high until it's down to one.
	But all of this, John, really doesn't matter.
	It doesn't matter one hootenanny.
	You know why?
	Yes, of course I know why.
	Well, you're supposed to say, no, why do you say?
	No, because I'm going to tell you why.
	No, I'm going to tell you why.
	All right, why?
	Because it turns out, according to one source, that it wasn't Bin Laden that was killed.
	It was some guy named Akbar who just happened to be living there.
	No, that doesn't matter either.
	That doesn't matter.
	It does to you as well.
	This is what matters, John.
	This is the only thing that matters.
	Ladies and gentlemen, winners of the 2011 Eurovision Song Contest, Azerbaijan!
	This is Elle and Nikki.
	- Oh, oh, oh, oh.
	Azerbaijan won.
	John G. You think that's political?
	That's what I predicted.
	Yeah, right.
	I love the name of the song, though.
	It's like...
	It sucks, whatever it is.
	The song is horrible.
	It's one of the worst pieces of crap that's ever won.
	Listen to this.
	I love this song.
	The name of the song is like, I'm Afraid, Run Tonight, or some crap like that.
	Yeah, that's a great positive message.
	It's called Running Scared.
	I'm running scared tonight.
	It's a rip-off, too.
	I can't quite figure it out yet.
	I'm running scared tonight, because I live in Azerbaijan.
	Gonna have the Russians invade me, and I'm running scared tonight.
	It's a horrible song.
	Anyway, congratulations to Azerbaijan.
	So does the viewing public at the event boo?
	No.
	Once again, though, the stage is un-effing-believable.
	The amount of money that goes into this...
	This farce.
	That's a farce.
	It's a total farce.
	Why do you bring it up?
	Just like in...
	Well, because this is the one thing we do on a yearly basis that is really important to the show.
	Well, I'll tell you this.
	You can see why the Americans don't pay much attention to this event.
	Much or zero?
	Zero.
	I honestly believe that most of the people that listen to our show have never heard of this event until this show.
	That is very possible.
	For good reason.
	Yes.
	And they're all going like, hey, thanks.
	Thanks for bringing me that news.
	Oh, boy.
	Anyway, sorry I was a little late today.
	I was filling out a job application.
	Where are you going to work?
	Anywhere that pays money.
	Anywhere that pays money.
	Well, that's probably what you're referring to is the fact that we have very little support for our last show.
	I even tweeted and I said, dudes, this is not okay.
	Because we ended the show.
	We always do like a 10-minute post-mortem on the show.
	And eight times out of ten, it's like, that sucked.
	Or like, you know, C+. We rarely give ourselves, if ever, more than a B. Yeah, I've never gotten more than a B. And I thought we had like a B- last show.
	Yeah, it depends.
	It could have been a C. You actually said, you said, I thought we were pretty good.
	I say that all the time until I think about it.
	You jinxed it.
	No, I think, well, clearly we suck because no one helped us.
	Well, we did have one executive producer that did come in, and so I might as well mention them, which is Equinox Publishing.
	Oh, that's very nice.
	And they came in at 200, and they said, He only did it because he saw your tweet about no donations for this episode and thought it's time to become a donor, not a boner, he says.
	I'm part of a small group of avid listeners in Jakarta, Indonesia, which I think should be called Gitmo Nation clove cigarettes.
	Yeah, that's the Kretek.
	Apparently they all come from there.
	Have you ever smoked one of those?
	I don't smoke.
	Have you ever been around someone who was smoking it?
	I've eaten cloves, and I can't imagine what it must burn that crap out of your lungs to smoke one of those things.
	It's literally like, hey, here's some elephant poop.
	I think I will smoke that.
	That's literally what it's like.
	There's some guy in the offices at Mevio, not in Mevio itself, but with one of those offices in that building, that goes out front and smokes cloves, cigarettes.
	Oh, my goodness.
	That's offensive.
	That's really bad.
	Anyway, he says that his friend who turned me on to No Agenda is James Brewis, but he's a douchebag.
	Oh no.
	Douchebag!
	Because he's been listening way longer but hasn't donated a penny.
	Oh, and I know John's a fan of KL, but ask anyone who's been to both cities, and everyone will tell you Jakarta is what...
	I've been to both cities, by the way.
	I've been to Jakarta.
	And what is better, Kuala Lumpur or Jakarta?
	Kuala Lumpur.
	Yeah.
	It's much better.
	Yeah, because they got those cool buildings.
	Well, besides the buildings, I think they're more of a party town, and it seems like they have a better time.
	Well, how come I don't get a vision of you as, like, a partier?
	I don't see you whooping it up, doing, like, belly shots off of some chick in the bar.
	I just don't have that vision.
	He just said, shots, shots, shots.
	And there's John.
	Yeah.
	Hey, lie down, girl.
	I'm going to do a shot off of your belly.
	So Mark Hannes is our guy there in Jakarta.
	And they do have, in both Jakarta and KL, which refers to Kuala Lumpur, to the locals call it KL. KL. And they both have access to the cheap DVD copies that are absolutely perfect, and they're two bucks.
	Well, that'll lend to them.
	Well, maybe.
	Yeah, maybe.
	Maybe.
	Yeah, Joe Biden's gonna come and slap you in irons.
	Kick your ass.
	They had a mayor apparently in Kuala Lumpur that decided to crack down on it and then after he made the announcement his house burnt to the ground.
	Whoops.
	And that was the end of that.
	Coincidence?
	I think not!
	Okay, a couple of PR mentions.
	People have been doing some work for us.
	Here's two domains.
	I think there's some good SEO juice.
	Bestipadpricing.com and bestipadpricing.net.
	Both of those forwarding to noagendashow.com.
	That's pretty good.
	He was reluctant.
	He said, yeah, I don't know if you guys think this would be.
	And as soon as I saw it, I said, that's perfect.
	Now, we also have...
	Oh, actually, staying in line with the Song Contest de Eurovision, noagendashow.eu has now been registered and forwarding to us, along with noagenda.me.
	And let me see, we have...
	Oh, yeah, I mentioned again for Rhino the Bearded's noagendacovers.com.
	That's a school project, but actually a lot of the money goes to the show if you buy something from his site, so we highly appreciate that.
	Good idea from Robert Seals.
	He said, I really missed out on show 303 because I live in Colorado and that is the area code for Northern Colorado.
	Oh, area codes.
	Yeah, and then I said, well, what's 304?
	He says 304 is West Virginia.
	So, of course, anyone who was in West Virginia wanted to get in on the special area code donation level.
	I'll do anything to not have to go get a job.
	And 305, do you know what that's the area code for?
	305?
	By the way, is the McDonald's job application one or two pages?
	I think it's just one page.
	But you do start off at Hamburger U, and it takes a long time before you get placed.
	305 is the area code for Florida.
	Oh, we have Florida listeners.
	I know we've got Florida listeners.
	And let's see.
	Oh yes, this was a special request.
	This is Angelo, your friendly pharmacy technician, sends us good inside dirt from time to time.
	So I'm leaving Gitmo Nation hula as Hawaii.
	And they're only using the naked body scanner.
	The metal detector was blocked off.
	So naturally I opted out and during the pat-down I started singing the national anthem.
	I wonder if that was the Star Spangled Banner or if it was the Gitmo Nation National Anthem.
	Somehow I have a feeling I could just hear him go, In the morning, Gitmo Nation.
	That would be great.
	Needless to say, he was detained and questioned for being defiant towards national security because I made a scene and caused others to opt out.
	I received an applause from an older couple while I was being escorted to the questioning room.
	I was allowed to pass after they deemed me not a threat to my country.
	Overall, everything went better than expected.
	I'd like to make a request of Miss Mickey to do the laugh on Sunday's show.
	Okay, well hopefully she heard that and she'll come in and she'll do the laugh for you.
	You deserve it, that's for sure.
	Good job on the offer.
	You should record that laugh.
	Nah, I like it live better.
	Speaking of Miss Mickey, so she's got the big ass map now that my daughter actually ordered from Amazon.
	They've mounted it on some cardboard.
	We've got pins sticking in it.
	And she would like you to email her with your suggestions for places to come, to drop by on our tour.
	Pictures, of course, are welcome.
	If you've got a place for us to park or if there's something, an event happening, she is coordinating this.
	And you can email her at mickeyatcurry.com.
	M-I-C-K-Y. No E. She's not a mouse.
	mickeyatcurry.com.
	And she'd be very happy to stay in touch with you and coordinate that.
	And are you going to do the laugh now for our...
	Come over here.
	Come on.
	Come on.
	You can do it.
	That sucks.
	Yeah, try that again.
	That was terrible.
	I think you need to go back to bed.
	I think she's lost it.
	I got it.
	I can do it better.
	Anyway, we're still looking for an RV. We're getting closer to showtime, and it's getting a little concerning that we don't have wheels yet.
	But everything else is planned.
	I got someone to pick up the mail, and everything else is all set.
	And, yeah, that's it.
	So we thank Equinox Publishing very much for being pretty much the sole executive producer and the only credit on today's show.
	Everybody else out there, you can still do something really important with our formula.
	Our formula is this.
	We go out, we hit people in the mouth.
	Whoa!
	You can also find our show at shutupslaves.com, of course.
	And lots of you checked out the new show notes system, nashownotes.com.
	Show notes for today's program will be at 304.nashownotes.com.
	The system's working well.
	If only I had remembered to update the NoAgendaShow.com site.
	Everything else is working fine.
	That might have been part of the problem.
	Yeah, see, you wrote that and that really pissed me off.
	That's why I tweeted.
	Well, it worked.
	You didn't update the site.
	You didn't update the site.
	That's why donations are down.
	No, maybe they were just down because you sucked.
	All I know is that it did a lot.
	It's possible.
	All I know is that because of the tweet, it saved the day.
	So I'm glad I did it.
	Yeah, we would have had nothing.
	Hold on a second.
	What is yellow giving me here?
	Oh, jeez.
	You know, we might as well.
	The chat room's alive and well.
	Hold on a second.
	What is this system doing?
	Anyway.
	So, hey, was it just me or was C-SPAN like no new programming really?
	Did you see a lot on C-SPAN? Because I was watching this.
	I kind of gave up on C-SPAN and went back to the soapbox.
	Sorry.
	I don't know what that's from.
	Sounds kind of more like a sheep.
	She had sheep.
	That's what they sound like.
	Well, what do you think that is?
	I got them here in the backyard.
	By the way, before we go on, the...
	Because you mentioned something, I want to play a clip.
	Okay.
	Because you mentioned traveling around and the whole thing, and you said you're going to have people picking up the mail.
	This, I thought, was a funny clip.
	I was watching, because of C-SPAN being so dull, I ended up watching Gossip Queens.
	What is that?
	It's like the third of the Vue clones.
	Only this time it's a bunch of crazy women who are, I've never heard of any of them, who just gossip.
	What's the name of the show?
	Gossip Queens.
	Gossip Queens?
	Yeah.
	Geez.
	What is that on?
	Bravo or something?
	It's a syndicate.
	It could be anywhere.
	I get it off of CBS. And so they ran this story and as soon as they did, it was a piece of gossip about the bling ring.
	And the punchline to it was, aha!
	This reminds me of a lot of too many people I know.
	Oh, okay.
	Tell us about the bling ring.
	So, do you guys know about the bling ring?
	No.
	Are these kids who are breaking into celebrities' homes and stealing stuff?
	Basically, they put out a hit list.
	It's like their version of a hit list.
	And they went and got everyone from Paris to Orlando.
	But not even in a smart way.
	Like, there were security cams everywhere.
	I thought you were talking about some jewelry.
	I didn't know about some kids.
	They took all the jewels.
	So they're robbers.
	Yeah.
	And they were following all these celebrities on Twitter.
	And whenever a celebrity would say, I'm in Vegas, they would case out the house.
	That's genius, actually.
	And break into the house.
	And then, but not only that, it found out that these houses were really easy to get into.
	Oh, really?
	Yeah, like in a lot of the places, there were not security measures in place.
	There was no security guards.
	The alarms weren't on.
	And the celebrities were basically saying, I'm not home.
	Rob me.
	Wow.
	Like, yeah.
	Okay, so yeah, fine.
	Break in and rob me.
	And if you find anything, just leave me a note because I forgot about it, clearly.
	Well, the story wasn't about you.
	The story was about the idiots.
	I know, but this is two years ago.
	It's a really old story.
	These bitches lived in my street.
	Two of them lived here.
	One of them had to go to jail.
	The story is about the fact that people still go out and tweet, I'm at them here, I'm over here, I'm over there.
	I get it.
	I get it.
	You know the funny thing was there was this website called Rob My House or Rob My Home or something like that.
	Yeah, I remember that.
	That would take the tweets and then it would take a map of where you lived and post it.
	And they took that site down.
	Oh, really?
	Yeah.
	Did Janet Lucy Napolitano take it down?
	I don't know who took it down, but it did.
	This whole thing with this, you know, now that it's like, oh, we're now going to take down.NET domains.
	Excuse me.
	Is this not some violation of, like, the Fourth Amendment or something somewhere?
	You can't just, like, take stuff down.
	There's no judge, no jury.
	How does this work?
	Where are we living?
	This is not okay.
	Nazi Germany.
	Clearly.
	And by the way, this Gossip Queens, you and I could have cast this.
	This is great.
	So we've got Lonnie Love, the black chick.
	We've got one brunette, Michelle Collins.
	One blonde, Bernadette Pauly.
	And then the gay guy, Alec Mapa.
	Yeah, it's just a stereotype.
	It's perfect, yeah.
	If we had sat down and said, let's put a show together.
	You're right, that's exactly what we picked.
	Ah!
	That would have been perfect.
	I hope that doesn't go on throughout the show.
	No, I will stop that.
	I will not do it anymore.
	No, but this domain name seizure stuff.
	I mean, how come no one's like up in arms?
	What is going on?
	Where's our press?
	Where's our media on this?
	This is not okay.
	They don't want to have their sights taken down.
	No, exactly.
	It's just nuts.
	Have you written about this?
	Can you write an article about this?
	Can you do something?
	I'll have my site.
	I'll be closed.
	Yeah, that's true.
	This is why no one does it, right?
	Everyone's afraid.
	That's the way it works in a fascist society.
	NSDAA. Don't talk about that stuff.
	So instead, we can't talk about anything good, so we talk about things like, I was stunned, but now there's a new Hot Pockets theme.
	No, you've got to be kidding me.
	Hot Pockets!
	A new one?
	That's out.
	Oh, this is the new one?
	Do I play this?
	Yeah, play it.
	Hi, I'm Cheeseburger, this is Buffalo Chicken, and this is Sloppy Joe.
	We're brothers.
	We all taste great.
	Some more than others.
	Hot Pockets side shots.
	Three delicious flavors stuffed into soft baked buns.
	Hot Pockets.
	Oh, I don't like that one.
	No!
	That's no good.
	I like that.
	Hot Pockets!
	It's a whole different key, even.
	It's a key's different.
	It doesn't have any life to it.
	It's no good.
	It's like three drunks.
	It's no good.
	Let me listen to the payoff there.
	I mean, I'll clip it just to have it.
	Big buns.
	Hot pockets.
	Oh, don't clip it.
	Horrible.
	That's horrible.
	Okay, well, short the Hot Pocket.
	You know, actually, who was it?
	I think Christina met the woman who invented the Hot Pocket.
	No, does nobody invent something like that?
	Yes.
	No, she invented.
	She sold the company or she sold the recipe or whatever.
	No, I think it's real.
	I think she, you know.
	Well, maybe it's just an old bag trying to pick up my daughter.
	I don't know.
	Hey, little girl.
	Hey, I invented Hot Pockets.
	You want to come on over?
	What the genesis of the word comes from?
	Yeah, let me show you.
	Put your hand in my hot pocket.
	I'll show you what's happening.
	Hot pocket!
	It's time for our Lone Wolf segment.
	This is a part of the category we call If you see something, say something.
	Here's Lucy Napolitano on Chibiash talking about the lone wolves.
	One source of concern is what is called the lone wolf.
	That is somebody who's in the United States, a United States citizen.
	He may have become radicalized by the internet.
	There you go.
	That's it, John.
	This is what's happening.
	It's happening all around the country.
	The young citizens are getting radicalized by the internet.
	Huh.
	It's that evil internet thingy.
	It needs to be regulated.
	That's right.
	Self-radicalization has got to be, we've got to stomp it out.
	To the point of violence and says in retaliation for the death of Usama bin Laden.
	Notice she's saying Usama.
	This is very interesting.
	Oh, it's probably because of the gaffe.
	Maybe, you know, you're right.
	Maybe a memo went out and it's like, hello everybody!
	I've noticed real problems.
	Everybody talking about me being dead instead of Osama.
	So from now on, I want everybody...
	You're struggling.
	You start off so strong and then it falls apart.
	It's hard.
	Because you have not internalized it.
	No, because I'm talking to you and I'm visualizing you there in your underwear and it gets hard after a point.
	I mean...
	Anyway, so you're probably right.
	The memo went out and said, please say Usama so you can't mess it up, bitches.
	I'm going to do X. And a sole actor who's not in contact with anyone...
	I'm going to call him President Obama.
	From now on, this is going to be new.
	President Obama.
	That's very difficult to prevent.
	There was a veritable treasure trove.
	Oh, John, a veritable treasure trove.
	Veritable treasure trove of porn.
	That was important there.
	Of course, of information that was seized from the compound.
	What kinds of things have you gleaned about potential threats as a result?
	Continued references to transportation, to aviation.
	Transportation!
	This is great!
	To rail.
	Rail.
	Rail.
	And so we're in contact with...
	One of these trains, like the one that goes from Berkeley to Sacramento, you know, five guys would be dead.
	Amtrak and other rail carriers across the country.
	And making sure that they were following their own safety procedures.
	Did you increase security on trains across the country when you got word that...
	We provided information to Rail to see if they needed any additional resources.
	Money!
	Yeah, and resources.
	Rail LaHood is his new name.
	Not Ray, it's Rail LaHood.
	And I think that's the way we need to work.
	We need to be providing information.
	And money.
	Providing backup.
	We, of course, don't control.
	We control aviation, in a sense, much more than rail and transit.
	That's much more local in nature.
	Do you hear that edit?
	I hate that.
	They edited a whole piece out right there.
	Response to this potential threat, increased security.
	I haven't been in touch with any of them directly.
	What does that mean?
	What does that mean?
	I mean, so this is the one who's, we've got to be careful, lone wolves and everything, but I haven't really talked to anybody about that.
	It's just, it's not important.
	I shouldn't talk to anybody in rail.
	It's not my department.
	How do you have your ass on?
	Some of the information that was seized, was there any evidence of sleeper cells operating in this country?
	I don't want to talk about what was found necessarily in the compound.
	That's still being digested.
	Okay.
	Being digested.
	Because I ate it.
	Can't you tell?
	I ate it all.
	...translated, gone through.
	But I can say that we do operate under the premise that, be it a homegrown terrorist or a group, they may be inspired by al-Qaeda.
	Ah, that's the new one, John.
	Inspired by al-Qaeda.
	These are all the memes.
	You just got to pick them up.
	We actually operationally in touch with al-Qaeda.
	We just operate under that assumption.
	This is air flights around the country that they're clearing.
	The secretary gave us a tour of the Nerve Center for Transportation Security, located in a nondescript office complex near Dulles International Airport.
	Oh, shut up.
	Hold on a second.
	She was talking over her right there?
	Yeah.
	So they just let the conversation go on in the background and then somebody, some producers, we can't put up with this.
	No, it was a tour footage.
	It was tour footage of like the same room that they showed that was like the war room for BP during the oil spill.
	Same setup.
	Nondescript office building because it's all secret.
	But we don't talk to rail.
	We don't talk to airplanes.
	Shut up, Lucy!
	And then Maria Bartiromo talked to El Presidente Billy Boy Clinton.
	And he don't believe it.
	He's not buying it.
	He's not buying it.
	Someone asked me the other day, do you think Pakistan is our partner and the war on terror are falling there and knew bin Laden was there and helped him stay?
	Anonymous.
	And my answer was yes to both questions.
	Did you hear the douchebag laughing about that?
	You made her funny, Billy!
	So here's the question about, will Al-Qaeda respond?
	What do you think Al-Qaeda's response will be at this point?
	I don't know because I think that he clearly was symbolically the head of Al-Qaeda and still if What we read in the press is to be believed.
	See, here is what we read in the press.
	He's like down-planted.
	And now listen to the...
	He has two very interesting things he's going to say here.
	I'll shut up.
	...about there being a veritable treasure trove of information on his...
	So there it is, the veritable treasure trove.
	Exact same words.
	Yeah, treasure trove's a big deal.
	No, veritable.
	It's veritable.
	Do they both use veritable?
	Yes, veritable.
	A veritable treasure.
	What does veritable mean?
	What does veritable even mean?
	Who cares?
	No, I need to know now.
	What is veritable?
	Veritable means virtual.
	It means kind of a, like I would say, kind of a treasure trove.
	Or a bonanza of a treasure trove.
	Well, why does it just say bonanza?
	Hold on.
	Words matter.
	Here it is.
	Being, in fact, the thing named and not false, unreal, or imaginary, often used to stress the aptness of a metaphor.
	The hell does that mean?
	Well, it means that treasure trove, it wasn't a treasure trove technically, it was a metaphor for a bunch of good stuff.
	And so veritable just emphasizes the fact that what the metaphor is, which is treasure trove, is real treasure trove.
	It's bullcrap.
	Wow, that sucks.
	What was that?
	That was like the talking dictionary, over-modulated.
	Alright, here we go.
	Computers were still thinking about what to do.
	The operational head for a long time has been his number two, Dr.
	Al-Zahiri.
	Now, I've never heard anyone refer to the number two guy, evil douchebag, as Dr.
	Dr.
	Al-Zahiri.
	You know what I mean?
	You've never heard that before?
	I've never heard of him.
	But he's like doctor.
	He lets it sink in because he's intelligent.
	I think I've heard it before.
	Really?
	Now that you mention it.
	Other people have called him doctor.
	Hair doctor.
	Oh, really?
	Number two, Dr.
	Al-Zahiri.
	And in recent years, Al-Qaeda has operated more like a franchise operation.
	It's like McDonald's.
	That's what it is.
	It's a franchise.
	Well, they've set it up.
	With all of this stuff, it's like, forget about it.
	We're going to be under terror alert for the rest of our lives.
	Taking off your shoes and panties to get into the movies.
	Yeah, and also big sporting events.
	Yeah.
	It's going to sink the economy.
	It's all a bunch of bullcrap.
	Yeah.
	I mean, we didn't have this kind of security during World War II when thousands and thousands and thousands of people, tens of thousands of people were being killed, and there was German agents blowing up bridges all over the country.
	Yeah, because that was real.
	So what makes this worse?
	I mean, I don't see any evidence of doing anything.
	Because that was real.
	Because that was real.
	This is just a money grab.
	That's the difference.
	Ah.
	Yeah.
	What was I thinking?
	Yeah.
	So we're going to also be stuck in Afghanistan.
	I kind of tracked down the memes.
	There's a couple of them here I have.
	One of them first is presented to the left.
	Hey, by the way, I'm sorry.
	There's one thing you forgot about the Second World War.
	We did throw all the Japs in the brink.
	And then, of course, back in the day, they were called Japs.
	Now they're Japanese-Americans.
	But remember we threw them into camps?
	Yeah, on the West Coast mostly.
	Yeah, well, so isn't that the same thing, that they were like terrorists?
	They're like, hey, they're terrorists!
	Japanese!
	Well, yeah, but that wasn't, there wasn't a general attack on the public.
	They didn't just start throwing everybody in camps.
	They're not just harassing Arabs in the U.S. of A. No, that's true.
	But we've done that with a you-must-be-communist, and we're going to shame you.
	It's not that it hasn't happened before, but I think it's worse than ever.
	My point is, it's an American thing.
	It's what we do.
	So they've decided to make sure that the public is clued in on the fact we're not leaving Afghanistan just because we shot bin Laden and just because we went to Afghanistan to get bin Laden and break up al-Qaeda.
	That's why we went there supposedly.
	Now, apparently not.
	So what they've done is they sent their stooges.
	CIA. Stooges from, to the left wing, to the left wing audience, Bill Maher.
	Yeah, okay.
	They put Richard Clark on Bill Maher and he gives his side of the story.
	And who's Richard Clark again so everybody knows?
	Bill Clark is this ex-CIA guy who wrote a bunch of books, and he was the head of the CIA's hunt for bin Laden.
	It seems to be a bunch of these guys, but he's the main one.
	You've seen him a million times.
	He's that gray-haired, slow-talking guy.
	He's still a spook, obviously.
	Still a spook.
	And he comes on and he just basically reads party line in a very educational way.
	He's very slow and deliberate.
	But basically he's giving the message on what we have to expect.
	And then on the other side, we have like on the right wing side, we have to bring somebody out.
	So we are now using, it looks like Judith Miller.
	The ex-stooge at the New York Times who was probably in the agency, and she's the one who kind of screwed certain people over during the yellow cake thing.
	She pushed the yellow cake thing so Bush could go to war in Iraq.
	And she got fired, and now she's a fellow.
	How do you go from being a journalist, a writer, reporter, to being a fellow in the Manhattan Institute and a commentator on Fox?
	Uh-huh.
	I don't know.
	How do you do that, Adam?
	Can I get that job?
	Not anymore.
	So anyway, so she goes on Fox and gives her side of the story, but it's the same story.
	But one's given to the right, one's given to the left.
	This is the Richard Clarke on staying in Afghanistan.
	It kind of summarizes this.
	The article in the Washington Post this week, they said they talked to some high-level people in our government who say getting Mid-Ladden really is the endgame for Afghanistan, that this is our exit strategy and it changes everything.
	Is that true, you think?
	No, I don't.
	The president's going to announce next month that we're taking 5,000 troops.
	Out of Afghanistan over the course of the next few months.
	So that he can say we're on the road out.
	But we're not on the road out.
	And I think we'll have U.S. troops throughout his presidency.
	Even if he gets re-elected, we'll probably have U.S. troops there at some number.
	Because the Afghans are such pathetic, reorganized allies.
	The only worse ally you could have is Pakistan.
	And...
	I don't understand how we snuck into the psyche that Afghanistan is an ally.
	Afghanistan, weren't they a bunch of jabronis and they were hiding like the dude and Bin Laden came from there and it was all like Al-Qaeda and now there's an ally?
	They've got to change the narrative.
	I don't get it.
	They're changing the narrative.
	I think here's another.
	The third party in this, by the way, is Charles Krauthammer or Heimer.
	But he is on all these.
	He's on both the left and the right side.
	And he's like the guy in the wheelchair who is the most intellectual.
	He takes care of the people in the middle who may be wavering.
	And I also have a Staying in Afghanistan clip from him.
	And I think he says basically the same thing Clark does, but he says it to a different audience.
	So should we do Judith Miller first?
	No, let's do Karzai.
	You can understand why Americans want out of there.
	I do absolutely, and I agree with all of that, except for one thing.
	I think we're looking at the Afghan-Pakistan relationship to the wrong end of the telescope.
	Conventional view is that Afghanistan is the prize, and Pakistan is a bit of a problem.
	Because it works against us, it provides safe haven, etc.
	I think it's the other way around.
	Afghanistan is not worth a hill of beans in and of itself.
	It reminds me of what Bismarck said about the Balkans.
	They are not worth the bones of a single Pomeranian grenadier.
	But what Afghanistan has is proximity to Pakistan.
	And by the way, that metaphor really speaks to me.
	Unbelievable that he'd throw that in, don't you think?
	I mean, really.
	I mean, who is he talking to?
	Somebody, I guess some professor.
	I have no idea.
	Wow.
	Pakistan is the prize, or to put it another way, Pakistan is the problem.
	As we saw in the Bin Laden operation, that's where the terrorists are living.
	By the way, stop right there.
	I think he made a mistake in his script.
	He said Pakistan is the prize.
	Yeah, but he meant Pakistan is the problem.
	And then he, without skipping a beat, but I think he, because he's really cool in terms of, like, he doesn't panic.
	He doesn't start to stutter.
	He's MKUltrad.
	So he goes, then he says it's the prize, then he says it's the problem, but it's the prize.
	It is the prize, and that's where, of course, all the terrorists are really from.
	So that's the next, we all know it's the next move.
	We already affected the occupied Pakistan.
	We bomb people, Pakistanis.
	No, we have our drones and they blow guys out of the, yeah.
	We kill them all the time.
	You know why?
	It's what we do.
	What we do...
	So you don't have to play the rest of that.
	You get the idea.
	Judith Miller...
	I just want to hear his stumble again.
	That was kind of cool.
	Let's hear our Krautheimer stumble.
	I guess that is the problem.
	As we saw...
	Hold on.
	A little bit back more.
	Send me to Pakistan.
	Pakistan is the prize, or to put it another way...
	Yeah, oh, definitely.
	Or, to put it another way...
	Pakistan is the problem.
	As we saw in the Bin Laden operation...
	Beautiful, huh?
	Yeah, the guy's professional.
	But the whole, like, the metaphor stuff, you've got to lay off of that analogy.
	Maybe there was a code in there.
	Yeah, it woke me up, that's for sure.
	Yeah.
	It did.
	It got your attention.
	What?
	Are you going to tell me something here?
	Pakistan is the prize.
	Okay, it worked.
	All right, Judith Miller.
	Now, where is she on?
	She's on Fox?
	Judith Miller's on one of the news shows.
	I think it was a Fox one.
	But she goes on to some other little piece of information.
	And she is really deep in this thing, in all these things.
	And this is the Ministry of Truth through her.
	She's streaming it.
	And it's very interesting what she has to say.
	Within weeks, the future of U.S. military involvement will be in jeopardy.
	Judy Miller is an adjunct fellow at the Manhattan Institute and a Fox News contributor.
	Thanks for joining us, Judy.
	Is Judy hot?
	You've seen her.
	I don't remember her.
	She looks like an agent.
	Well, like an Angelina Jolie agent?
	You can go look her up while you're listening to this.
	Nice to be here, Heather.
	I'd like to start by talking about the War Powers Act.
	President Obama used that to give him authority to send troops into Libya.
	It has a deadline, 60 days.
	That's coming up.
	What do you think will happen, and what do you think should happen?
	Well, I think that the Libyan opposition group met with the White House yesterday and asked them that very question.
	Are you going to abandon us next Friday when the 60-day deadline that you just mentioned kicks in?
	And they got every assurance that the United States is in this to protect the Libyan people and that we're not going to abandon them until that goal is achieved.
	The War Powers Act is 60 days.
	That is, the Congress must authorize the use of military force after 60 days.
	But it has a kind of month wiggle room.
	And the month wiggle room is the drawing down of forces.
	And, of course, we have no ground troops in and on the ground in Libya.
	We're just doing a no-fly zone, and they're through NATO. So I think that the President is going to find a way around The War Powers Act, as all presidents have.
	Oh, please.
	Give me a break.
	It was never declared under the War Powers Act.
	You just went ahead and did it because NATO said so.
	We're NATO's bitches.
	This is the whole thing that I went crazy about.
	I don't know whether you're right or wrong on that.
	I think it's beside the point.
	Do you have the Obama clip where he says he'll be out in days?
	We said days.
	We're talking about 60 days already, two months.
	And she says we're going to be there a lot longer, which of course we said initially too.
	I mean, it's not like a revelation to anyone who listens to this show.
	Yeah.
	But it seems to be a revelation to someone, but you've got to keep that clip at the ring.
	Yeah, I know.
	I'm sorry.
	It's like...
	What show was that?
	I mean, how long ago was it?
	60 Days, right?
	60 Days ago, right.
	There's a lot of shows back.
	He says we're going to be out in days, not weeks.
	Hold on a second.
	How many shows ago?
	So that's got to be like 297?
	I don't know.
	It was some time ago.
	My goodness.
	This is unbelievable.
	This is unbelievable.
	We're going to be out in days, not weeks.
	Or months, he says even in the clip.
	Right.
	And meanwhile, what did I see on CNN last night?
	Because C-SPAN was like nothing going on.
	Chaz Bono.
	I saw Chaz Bono on Letterman.
	I don't understand what Chaz is doing.
	He's got a book.
	Oh, he's got a book.
	He's got a book and he's got a good PR thing going.
	He's on everywhere.
	Well, Piers Morgan, I don't know that's good anymore.
	Well, no, he's on everybody.
	He's been everywhere.
	I mean, he was on Letterman.
	Letterman, I thought, did a really good job interviewing him because he actually knows how to interview.
	But it was an interesting chastity.
	I enjoyed it.
	What turned me off, though, is because I'm interested, and Mickey has no idea.
	Chad never heard of chastity or anything.
	She knows who Cher is.
	This is not known outside of the United States for some reason.
	And it was okay.
	I mean, I don't mind the interview, but then they're talking and then they show the B-roll of post-op.
	It's like, no, I'm eating here.
	I don't want to see B-roll.
	But like over and over again, it's like the same B-roll.
	That tells you something about Piers Morgan.
	It is U.S. policy that Gaddafi needs to go.
	But let me emphasize that we...
	We anticipate this transition to take place in a matter of days and not a matter of weeks.
	Hello, everybody.
	March 21st, 2011.
	March, April?
	Wow.
	March 21st, 2011.
	This show, we really fly past episodes of this show.
	It goes fast, doesn't it?
	I know.
	I remember that being, he sang that almost yesterday, but it was months ago that we're going to be gone in a couple of days.
	So the funny...
	It's amazing the public puts up with this crap.
	No, they don't know.
	Dude, what are you talking about?
	They're watching Chaz Bono.
	They're watching Chaz Bono.
	I was watching Chaz Bono.
	Exactly.
	This is what's so bad.
	We're watching Chaz Bono and the presence is light.
	It'll be a number of days, not weeks.
	Now we're at 60 days.
	We're going to be there forever.
	Forever.
	Forever.
	And we'll be there.
	We're going to be there for now.
	Here, play the killing Libya imams.
	Oh, no.
	Oh, brother.
	What is this?
	Tripoli compound today.
	His regime is allegedly burying 11 imams they claim were killed in coalition attacks.
	David Miller is streaming live from Tripoli.
	David Squirrel!
	Greg, Muammar Gaddafi remains effectively in hiding.
	We did not see him today at the funeral services here in Tripoli for nine of the 11 imams.
	Wait, they went to the funeral and they expected to see him?
	Is that hilarious or what?
	Are you kidding me?
	I mean, are you absolutely kidding me?
	The government here says we're killed in the city of Brega by a NATO airstrike.
	Officials here in Tripoli say that the 11 imams were killed during the early morning hours as they slept in a guest house.
	The government says the men were in Brega for part of a...
	I want to see the pictures.
	Show me the pictures of the dead imams.
	Now I want pictures from everything.
	How about their names?
	Yeah, that would be helpful.
	Peace ceremony to try and work towards the reunification of Libya.
	I can't listen to that.
	I thought it was with no fly zone.
	They're just bombing people.
	The opposition, the official opposition, you know those guys from Pennsylvania with a website?
	Yeah.
	So they visited the White House.
	Yeah, well, it's sharp.
	You can take a train.
	Yeah.
	But they have not yet been officially recognized as the new leaders of Libya by the United States.
	So that has to be made official still somehow.
	That's got to be the tough part.
	Well, they're already kind of saying it.
	They own the bank.
	They're shipping the oil.
	Everyone's got boots on the ground there, except us, so we say.
	Everyone's got consultants.
	Oh yeah, we must have some consultants.
	I think we can get away with that.
	And we've got helpers and everything.
	The other funniest thing, though, just to go back to the veritable treasure trove, and we've got to keep this in there, John.
	The veritable treasure trove of information and porn from Osama Bin Laden's compound.
	Apparently, they found in the veritable treasure trove of information, don't bother assassinating Joe Biden.
	Did you read this?
	Where'd you get this?
	This is from the Telegraph.
	It's like, ah, don't bother about him.
	Don't bother about O'Biden.
	Nobody cares.
	Really?
	Yeah, it says here.
	This is bullcrap.
	U.S. officials have revealed that Osama Bin Laden's diaries contain the rather startling conclusion that he didn't think Vice President Joe O'Biden was worth bumping off.
	The Obama administration is briefing that Barack Obama was Bin Laden's top target, while military chiefs like the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, the defense secretary, were also major scalps.
	But Joe Biden's scalp?
	Apparently not so much.
	A counterterrorism official said, quote, there is a note indicating that the vice president is not an important target because that position has less weight.
	Just leave O'Biden alone.
	That's bull crap.
	They're making this stuff up.
	John, duh, the whole thing is made up.
	Please.
	Why would they throw that in?
	You know why they threw it in?
	Probably O'Biden was in one of the meetings and said, you've got to put this in there because I don't want me to be threatened.
	I'm taking the train all the time and they can kill me if they think I'm a target.
	I don't want no lone wolves getting me some Al-Qaeda inspired lone wolves.
	Well, you're right.
	Don't you think it was planted in there for that reason?
	Because O'Biden's always on the train?
	Good point.
	Good point.
	And so the dumb lone wolves would say, oh, well, that's okay.
	Okay, then we'll just pass on him.
	Oh, well, he's not important.
	Do you think that O'Biden's not in on it?
	Because Osama said so.
	Do you think O'Biden's not in on it?
	Do you think he's not in on the whole joke?
	I mean, you know the porn thing is BS, too.
	I think he's in on the whole joke.
	That's why he planted this piece of bullcrap.
	Hmm.
	Maybe.
	Maybe.
	It's the only thing that makes sense to me, because why would they even care?
	What, has he got a list of names?
	What is the guy, like a PR company?
	He's got, oh, let's put the guys on the Nixon hit list.
	I mean, give me a break.
	Angerfan website that I follow, they did a pretty nice expose of all these different pictures of the compound, the house, the mansion, his lair.
	The mansion.
	That mansion thing still kills me.
	I've seen Quonset huts that are nicer than that place.
	Half the pictures have a satellite dish outside and the other half don't.
	Oh yeah, I noticed that too.
	So the question is, when did it get put in?
	Oh, I think it was taken out.
	Ooh, that could be the other way around.
	Yeah, possible.
	But they said he had no internet, no telephone, no nothing.
	He only had porn.
	And how come we don't...
	I mean, was it gay porn?
	If he's got nothing, how's he got the TV working in there?
	I just want to know what kind of porn it was.
	I mean, it's a veritable treasure trove of porn.
	There's a lot of gangs there that, you know, you ever look at...
	At what?
	Those old gags about the, you know, uh, uh, porn from, uh, uh, burka porn, you know, there's a, somebody wearing a burka and showing a little ankle or something like that.
	Uh, no, it's been a while since I've...
	Old jokes, old jokes.
	Well, so what's the, what's the punchline?
	That was it.
	They were showing an ankle.
	Oh.
	So, um...
	Well, if you want to change the topic, I do have a...
	Yeah, go ahead.
	This is the end of an era with soap opera, so I've decided to cut some dialogue.
	Oh, no.
	Did you find my Another World episode?
	I got the...
	No, I didn't, but I got the soap opera dialogue a gem that I think people should listen to.
	We're going to be missing this sort of thing.
	Talk about trying to stare down your demons.
	You're dead.
	I killed you.
	But the memory lingers on.
	So tell me, which one of your little pills makes ghosts go away?
	Maybe it'll take more than one.
	Maybe a whole pharmaceutical cocktail.
	Shut up!
	Why?
	We are, what's that term?
	Strung out.
	How long has it been since we popped our last little helper?
	You don't want to think about it, do you?
	That you need a little something more and more frequently?
	So, how soon before you can't go an entire rotation?
	Or an entire surgical procedure, unaltered?
	Do you think that patients have a right to know that the lady with the scalpel is as high as a kite?
	Stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it!
	This was General Hospital, no doubt.
	I don't know.
	No, I don't know which one it was, now that I think about it.
	I think it was Life to Live or something.
	I don't know.
	I'm just taking these clips just to remind people this is a lost era in American history.
	So you still don't remember me, do you?
	It's okay.
	It's okay.
	It's gonna be okay.
	You know?
	You will.
	And, um...
	And you have to feel this connection, right?
	You have to.
	I think I'd rather woodwatch Ellen than this.
	This is horrible.
	This is bad stuff.
	This is what you hear on these shows.
	I think maybe they lost their writers or they're all working for Ellen.
	No, John, they always sucked.
	It was always horrible.
	They're slow moving.
	That's the problem.
	It doesn't work in today's market.
	Duh.
	No, it's ridiculous.
	Ugh.
	So, it was kind of interesting.
	They signed off, they, as in, I guess it was at Congress.
	I hope this was the House.
	Basically, the Secret Services have been funded now.
	Here it is.
	House.
	392 votes to 15 for funding the intelligence organizations.
	And let me see if there's a resolution.
	How many organizations are there nowadays?
	Well, there's quite a bit.
	Last year's budget was $80 billion.
	And...
	Wow.
	Sixteen intelligence agencies, to answer your question.
	So, of course, the timing...
	Those are the ones that are financed, and, of course, they finance other research companies.
	There's like three million Americans who have top-secret clearance.
	Yeah.
	It's like crazy.
	Like one out of ten Americans is a spy.
	Yeah.
	Essentially.
	And Lucy Napolitano is trying to turn the rest of us into spies.
	Right.
	Unpaid.
	And the post office into spies.
	Unpaid.
	Unpaid spies.
	Hey, give me a salary.
	I'll see something and say something.
	So the timing of the Bin Laden capture and kill...
	Kill.
	Clean kill.
	It's a clean kill.
	The timing of the clean kill is uncanny for this...
	And I don't even know for how much it is, but I'm sure it's more than the $80 billion from last year.
	I would just like to take us down memory lane.
	Oh, so what you're saying, let me think.
	What you're saying is that they did this...
	This episodic...
	This show.
	This little show.
	The show of Killing Bin Laden just before the vote on this showing how important this was.
	Seems to be kind of...
	I wonder who the 15 were that voted against it.
	Let's see.
	Does it say?
	It should say somewhere.
	Vote 392.15.
	Reflection of the strong bipartisan support and goodwill towards the intelligence community after Bin Laden's death.
	Ah.
	I love these guys.
	This is AP, Associated Press.
	The new House Republican rules prohibit the resolutions of commendation that lawmakers would often offer to congratulate everyone from the military to winning sports teams.
	Instead, lawmakers added a provision to the bill praising the intelligence community for the successful operation in bringing bin Laden to justice.
	The provision was based on the Senate resolution that passed 97 to 0.
	Doesn't say who was against it.
	Of course not!
	Why would they even do that?
	I'd be interested in who they were.
	Today's legislation will ensure that the U.S. government places a priority on ensuring the safety of rail passengers around the country by working to prevent a terrorist attack on our sister.
	Squirrel!
	That's John Carney from Delaware.
	What rail passengers?
	Yeah, really.
	Oh, that's right, the ones that commute to Washington.
	To Washington, exactly.
	It's themselves.
	So I just want to play a little bit.
	It's a five-minute clip.
	I'm just going to play a bit that is relevant.
	It's really the beginning as we go back to the early 60s.
	Gentlemen, the very word secrecy is repugnant in a free and open society.
	And we are, as a people, inherently and historically, Opposed to secret societies, to secret oaths, and to secret proceedings.
	We decided long ago that the dangers of excessive and unwarranted concealment of pertinent facts far outweighed the dangers which are cited to justify it.
	Even today, there is little value in opposing the threat of a closed society by imitating its arbitrary restrictions.
	What's coming up in a second is important.
	This, of course, is President John Fitzgerald Kennedy.
	Oh, yeah, you can see why he had to kill him.
	Yeah, it's a very pertinent speech when you think about all that's happened with the secret.
	Everyone's a spy in America, a spy on you, but we have all these agencies that are getting all this money.
	We don't exactly know who they are, and they had to kill him after he said this.
	Even today, there is little value in ensuring the survival of our nation.
	If our traditions do not survive with it.
	And there is very grave danger that an announced need for increased security will be seized upon by those anxious to expand its meaning to the very limits of official censorship and concealment.
	Huh!
	Hmm!
	Hmm, John!
	Does that sound familiar?
	Yeah.
	If you see something, say something.
	Just like Cuba.
	What?
	I said, just like Cuba.
	Go on.
	...not intend to permit to the extent that it's in my control.
	And no official of my administration, whether his rank is high or low, civilian or military, should interpret my words here tonight as an excuse to censor the news, to stifle dissent, to cover up our mistakes.
	Or to withhold from the press and the public the facts they deserve to know.
	For we are opposed around the world by a monolithic and ruthless conspiracy that relies primarily on covet means for expanding its sphere of influence.
	Who could that be?
	Who could it be?
	On infiltration instead of invasion.
	On subversion instead of elections.
	On intimidation.
	It must be the Boy Scouts.
	It must be some group like that.
	God damn those Boy Scouts.
	On guerrillas by night instead of armies by day.
	It is a system which has conscripted vast human and material resources into the building of a tightly knit...
	Highly efficient machine that combines military, diplomatic, intelligence, economic, scientific, and political operations.
	Okay.
	So, when you see your parents, and I hope they're alive, or maybe give them a call and say, Hey, bastard, you were warned and you did nothing, and now look at what we've got.
	Now I'm looking at you, Dvorak.
	What about it?
	When you were kind of old enough.
	For what?
	To have stopped all this insanity.
	The president warned you.
	In 1963, he warned right there.
	He said...
	He was talking about the communists.
	Oh, yeah.
	Yeah, okay.
	Right.
	Really?
	I don't think so.
	Well, that's what he was talking about at the end of that speech.
	He was talking about the communists.
	He was an anti-communist nut.
	But he could have been, you know, if you transpose the speech, he could be talking about international bankers.
	Yes.
	He could be talking about the oil cabal.
	Yes.
	He could be talking about intelligence agencies that all gang up on us.
	Yes.
	He could be talking about the Department of Homeland Security.
	It's kind of a universal speech.
	It's actually quite good.
	Yep.
	Squirrel!
	Lucy Napolitano.
	Absolutely.
	Okay, before we get into our...
	It'll be a short segment, so let me put a little bit of elitist Lucifer Clinton in Rome.
	And she's being in...
	Because, you know, everyone's in Rome.
	Because we have to be in Rome.
	Oh, she's in Rome?
	She's getting a new haircut?
	Yeah.
	Well, she got it styled.
	New clothes?
	Yeah, new clothes.
	She got it styled.
	You should see the room.
	Show notes at 304.nashownotes.com.
	You should see the room.
	This is like her hotel room.
	It's like...
	It's Caesar.
	Caesar's palace, except the real one.
	That's what her suite is now.
	And she's being interviewed, and I just...
	The story is the same, because, of course, the question comes up about the picture and her hand in front of her mouth.
	But she lays into it a little bit differently.
	I love watching the video of the elites when they're out of the country, when they're getting interviewed by foreign press, because they kind of forget Yeah, it's like one of those things where you're out of the country, you think you can do things and you can say whatever you want because who's going to...
	I've noticed this.
	This is funny.
	It happens to everybody.
	Yeah, it's like all of a sudden you're doing shots off of some chick's belly button, right, John?
	Yeah, all the time.
	I cannot avoid to ask you about what was going on in the war room at that moment.
	Yes, you saw that, didn't you?
	Yes.
	Yes, it was just a fabulous moment.
	It was really great.
	I'm so pissed off about my hair.
	I cannot avoid to ask you about what was going on in the war room at that moment.
	You had spoken about yourself.
	But I mean, what was the move there?
	What was the president feeling?
	Well, well, well, let me tell you.
	You know, I just, I hadn't had my hair done.
	It was like that.
	But I mean, what was the move there?
	What was the president feeling?
	Do you hear that?
	Do you hear that?
	Do you hear how she's talking?
	Well, well, come over here.
	Let me pour you some more tea.
	Well, well, well.
	But, I mean, what was the move there?
	What was the president feeling?
	You know, that picture is great.
	It's going to be down in history.
	That picture is great.
	Let's play it.
	I want to play it.
	I want to hear it.
	I can't help myself.
	It's so horrible.
	All right.
	I cannot avoid to ask you about what was going on in the war room at that moment.
	You have spoken about yourself.
	But, I mean, what was the mood there?
	What was the President feeling?
	You know, that picture is great.
	It's going to be done in the history of the United States and probably the world.
	But what was going on there?
	You know, I have to tell you, I wasn't even...
	I don't even think I was aware there was a photographer there.
	I think we were all concentrating so intently on what we were doing and what we were learning about this very dangerous mission that the President had ordered.
	I think any human being can appreciate the flood of feelings that one would experience.
	This was 38 minutes where we had No way to do anything other than hope and pray that the men who were carrying it out would do so successfully and safely.
	Their professionalism, their courage.
	Yeah, blah, blah, blah.
	But what she doesn't say is what her message has been.
	It's like, I had to sneeze, I had to cough.
	I think you're right.
	I looked at that picture over and over again.
	You said that she was yawning.
	Yeah, she was bored.
	I think she was yawning, too.
	Yeah, she's bored.
	But you notice she's not saying that one in Rome.
	It's like, oh, well, you know, seeing as I am, like a badass bitch, you know, and I'm right there in the situation room.
	Yes, it was so intense.
	It was never in doubt, but we had tried to think through every contingency that could go wrong and plan for it.
	But you don't know until it happens.
	She's not saying anything.
	She's just blabbering.
	Yeah, and she doesn't mention that the video went out for 25 minutes.
	And who's she kidding about?
	Oh, we didn't know there was a photographer in the room.
	Flash, flash, flash.
	Oh, by the way, this is nice from the Ministry of Truth.
	The White House has now said it is ending its long-running practice of having presidents reenact televised speeches for news photographers following major addresses to the country.
	See?
	We accomplished something.
	I guess a bunch of people must have noticed this bullcrap.
	Yeah, excuse me.
	It's like he comes back and, hello everybody, we just killed Sama Bin Laden.
	And it's a fake.
	He's doing it over again for the photographers.
	Let me see if there's any...
	Josh Earnest said, Wednesday...
	That we've concluded that this arrangement is a bad idea.
	The administration, however, is open to working out some new arrangements with the photographers.
	So how are they going to, you know, I got an idea.
	Here's a novel concept.
	Why don't you, like, let reporters, like, actually take pictures of the real news as it's happening?
	Why do you have to set it up?
	Because your guy, your stooge, your actor can't, like, he flubs his lines if he gets distracted by pictures?
	He starts blinking.
	Yeah.
	The flashes.
	I'm going to show my support by donating to no agenda.
	Imagine all the people who could do that.
	Oh yeah, that'd be fab.
	We're on no agenda in the morning.
	We have a few donors that we want to thank for helping us produce this show today, beginning with Jeffrey Stark of Alexandria, Virginia, $111.11.
	Hi, John and Adam.
	I figure it's time to donate more than my $2 a month.
	If you could send some karma my way, that would be great.
	Either way, keep up the excellent show.
	You've got karma.
	Murray Rob, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada, $66.66 donation to ensure that you two don't speak to each other between shows.
	That's no problem.
	$33.
	You don't need to send any money for that.
	We do that with pleasure.
	$33.33 for both my wife, Michelle, and I. Also, I'd like to request some karma for Michelle as her boss was driving her crazy.
	Oh, okay.
	Here you go.
	You've got karma.
	I don't know if karma does anything about the boss driving someone crazy.
	Yeah, really.
	Brian Gross in Houston, Texas.
	Double nickels on the dime.
	Also an anonymous donation from Richardson, Texas, down the street.
	Now, hold on.
	Double nickels on the dime.
	Don't read the name.
	You're supposed to...
	It wasn't done right.
	Really?
	Frank Rowe?
	Oh, jeez.
	Yeah, there you go.
	I'm reading this thing.
	It says, I'm encouraged all human resources to make a donation to be a donor.
	I'm a monthly donor, but it was shocked when I heard donations were so low.
	It says, in the morning from Gitmo slave is what it says.
	Yeah?
	I don't think that was supposed to be his name.
	Just saying.
	I don't see any evidence of that.
	I'm just saying.
	That's why I tried to stop you.
	The next one says, do not read on the air.
	I know.
	This is what happens when we have a shill light.
	Maybe it doesn't matter.
	I don't know.
	I don't think so.
	Unless it says anonymous, keep my name anonymous, or they donate $49.
	I don't get it.
	I don't see where you're getting that.
	I'm just trying to protect the innocent.
	That's all.
	Some people just don't want to be associated with us, apparently.
	Well, I don't see why, by the way.
	Yeah, I agree.
	Frank can send us a note saying, hey, you shouldn't have said my name.
	I'd like to see that note.
	He's in the chat room.
	Oh, it's okay.
	He's in the chat room.
	Oh, he's selling you in the chat room in a back channel.
	No, the Gitmo slave actually runs like half the chat room.
	He runs like everything.
	Now, that's what you're probably not supposed to reveal.
	Mark McLennan, Watertown, Connecticut.
	Can I get a dose of karma for my son, Max?
	He graduates from college next week and the job market is not promising.
	Duh.
	Yeah.
	No kidding.
	Sometime.
	You've got karma.
	This is great.
	Someone sent us this great documentary.
	It's one of those YouTube ones.
	It's like an hour long and it's called The Housing Bubble.
	I mean The Housing.
	The Education Bubble.
	And where they really explain how it works.
	Do you know that there are people who are coming out into the job market and they literally have a student loan of $300,000?
	Can you believe that?
	Oh, this is one of the scandals that we need to discuss.
	Well, what's going to happen is eventually those people are going to get bailed out by the government, which of course will be us.
	Well, that would be fine.
	I don't think they're ever going to get bailed out.
	They've got it set up so they're never going to get bailed out.
	No, they have to.
	I mean, everyone's going to be eating dog food.
	And it's like a trillion dollars now.
	It's more than the credit card debt.
	Oh well, but we've got a lot of really smart people.
	Yeah, I suppose.
	I have a thing here from Richard Johnson who says, sending email with note.
	And if I look up Johnson, I don't have an email from one.
	And then Richard.
	Oh, I might have it here.
	Yes, I think this is it.
	I saw Adam's tweet about donations being down for the week.
	Though I'm just trying to make ends meet as a cop and a blogger.
	I was able to scrape together enough PayPal coins to re-enlist as a No Agenda Minuteman with my second double nickels on the dime donation.
	The value No Agenda provides far exceeds what I'm able to send, but I stand ready with sword and shield should shit go sideways and the No Agenda Minutemen are needed.
	I'm pretty good on the karma, but if you could plug my website, bluesheepdog.com, I'd appreciate it.
	Of course, we'll get you some karma as well.
	You've got karma.
	There you go.
	It's great.
	The one thing that's cool is when we have so few donations, we actually have all the information.
	Not so many emails came in.
	We kind of have it.
	Okay.
	Brad Doherty.
	In Yardley, Pennsylvania, 5210.
	By the way, we only have one show left before we get to the 21st, which is the end of the world.
	You'd think people would have given us more support this week because the world's ending in when?
	Week and a half?
	Yeah, and this guy, Robert Fitzpatrick from Staten Island, He spent $140,000 on bus and subway advertising, advertising the rapture at the end of the world on May 21st.
	I'm like, what a stupid use of funds.
	Send it to us!
	Yeah, what difference does it make to say that, yeah, exactly.
	We should have gotten that money.
	Brad Doherty at Yardley, Pennsylvania.
	Like I said, Eduardo Sanchez in Slatersville, Rhode Island.
	John and Adam, you two have totally changed the way I watch and listen to the news.
	Good.
	Keep up the great work, Eduardo Sanchez in Slatersville, Rhode Island.
	Greg Morrow, Mount Pleasant, South Carolina.
	These are all 5210.
	These are special donations for the end of the world.
	Kevin McLeod in Green Bay, Wisconsin, home of the Green Bay Packers.
	Matthew Mowarder.
	Mowarder.
	Yeah, my order.
	Vancouver, Washington, which is an interesting little town, wanted to donate to Show 300, but the government didn't get my GI Bill to me in time.
	Huh.
	Need some karmas.
	I'm trying to finish my master's with the rest of my GI Bill, but need to find a class that my school will not offer for another year.
	Wish I could donate more as I'm also a stay-at-home dad and you guys help me.
	And you help with the lack of adult interaction.
	Oh, we help with the lack of adult.
	He has to talk to a kid all day.
	It's rough.
	Yeah, exactly.
	And we really appreciate that.
	And this is what I do.
	I must say that people are really helping out and a lot of them are really hard times.
	And so big karma coming your way here.
	You've got karma.
	Michael Sorensen, 5210.
	Nigel Ewan in Columbus, Ohio.
	Loves you guys.
	Soren Larson in Denmark.
	Nora Sundby?
	I don't know.
	5210.
	In the morning, John.
	First, let me comment, John, on the Bin Laden thesis.
	You nailed it.
	Since our final day on Earth is hastily drawing closer, I've decided to upgrade myself from a boner to a donor, thus shedding my douche predicate.
	Yeah.
	I may have been carrying around whilst tremendously enjoying listening to your show.
	I would like to extend this great opportunity to salvage your soul before it's too late to anyone who hasn't donated before, and especially to my good friend Mikkel Morich, Mikkel Morg, I'm sorry, who unfortunately cannot avoid being called out as a douchebag.
	Douchebag!
	I probably should have donated more money, but since there's only one week left to live, I will make sure to spend it all on hookers and blow.
	That's a good use of it.
	In the unlikely event of the end of the world does not come to pass, more donations will come your way in the future.
	Oh, good.
	I'm happy to hear that.
	Yeah, well, whatever he has left.
	Vincent Benedict Castro in Maraquina City, Philippines.
	That's nice.
	You guys are awesome.
	Thank you from Gitmo Nation.
	Mango, yours until the end of days.
	Which is just a week away.
	Yeah.
	Jordan Wyatt, Invercargill, New Zealand.
	As a vegan, I despise the McSancto fictification of food, which terms like veggies are a large part.
	Keep fighting the buggers, John.
	All right, so we don't have to call them a vegan.
	Yeah, very good.
	Anthony Cobelli in Bismarck, North Dakota.
	Happy 7th birthday to Izzy.
	$50 from him.
	Chris Slowinski in Sherwood Park, Alberta, where they make all the money.
	David Middlebrook in Ellen Aberdeenshire.
	Aberdeenshire.
	Aberdeenshire.
	And Jason Burke in Richmond, Texas.
	Joyce Maddox in Carnation, Washington.
	Nice town.
	Kevin Sonny in Pittsburgh, North Carolina.
	Love from the Alchemist in the evening.
	Keep it the good work, guys.
	Mike Westerfield, Sir Mike Westerfield, $50.
	And finally, Stana Edwards in Blytheville, Arkansas.
	Sorry, sorry.
	What are you calling Stana?
	I'll dedouche.
	I didn't do that in person.
	It's You've been de-douched.
	I was cleaning the gun and it went off.
	Yeah, well you shot him.
	I like to wish Shadman, the wonder guy, a happy birthday and a re-popification.
	Unless Santa is obviously the better half.
	I want to thank those folks and also everyone who gave lesser amounts on this prelude to the end of the world which is coming next week.
	Yeah.
	So, yeah, and only one executive producer for the show.
	So, this is a little earlier than I... Stuff normally goes down in the summertime, but this was much earlier, and it's concerning.
	Seems premature.
	Yeah, I'm concerned about it.
	And it's not like we put in less work.
	Now, again, maybe just the last show sucked.
	I don't know.
	I mean, we really tried.
	I don't think the Bin Laden thing helped us.
	Yeah, that's possible.
	There is a correlation between that.
	When you get this huge news, and maybe people are disappointed because we kind of try to ignore it because it's so boring because it doesn't matter.
	The damage is already done, right?
	It doesn't matter if he's dead, alive, or whatever.
	That would just make us conspiracy theorists to get into all that.
	Well, we are conspiracy theorists.
	I don't think it's a big deal.
	But, I mean, there is still that whether he's dead, he still could be alive.
	I mean, they took somebody out of the compound, supposedly.
	The story is sketchy.
	But, you know, it's like maybe they wanted some more creative answers to the scenario or some creative ideas.
	Maybe they wanted some wild theories that no one's ever even thought of in a million years kind of thing.
	I don't know.
	Like, the guy's not Ben Laden.
	It was this Fred guy.
	Fred.
	Fred, they shot his neighbor.
	Yeah.
	And apparently, Fred liked to watch porn and TV. I don't know.
	But what kind of porn?
	I don't care if it's a veritable treasure trove.
	I don't care if they said, don't kill O'Biden or anything.
	You know what I'm surprised at?
	They're making stuff up as they go along, right?
	Yeah.
	Kitty porn.
	You know, it's the kiddie point.
	Yeah, that's a really good point.
	That is forthcoming.
	I mean, I'm just waiting for the connection between if you watch porn, you could be a part of Al-Qaeda and you could be a lone wolf.
	I mean, that's what it's going to come of, right?
	It's got to happen.
	But kiddie porn?
	Yeah, maybe.
	Maybe.
	You might be right, because they might be just associating porn with terrorism, and they don't want to get too carried away, because it's going to be harder to pull that one off, but you could pull off the porn.
	You watch, you look at porn a lot.
	That's why we have to, you can see Lucy coming out saying, that's why we have to be investigating these porn, which, by the way, we've already pointed out the fact that nudity is now porn, based on somebody's idea.
	So you have a naked picture of someone, it's You're a terrorist.
	And you're a terrorist.
	You're a terrorist.
	That's right.
	Squirrel!
	So help us assassinate the media, support our show.
	This is the only thing we do.
	We don't hire PR firms to lobby the government like our national treasure.
	The NPR is now done.
	They hired a big PR firm to go and lobby the government to get money.
	You know, maybe this is a good time to do this right now.
	Hold on a second.
	This is another part of...
	This interview is kind of crazy because it was Bill Clinton, and I'm going to do the birthdays and everything, and our payoff in a second, John.
	This is all really kind of relevant.
	So it's Bill Clinton and the guy who's paying him, clearly, because Bill Clinton sits on all these boards of all these companies.
	The guy is like, he makes so much money.
	And it's, what's his name?
	Mati Kochavi, an Israeli guy.
	He's the CEO of AGT International.
	And AGT International is a huge company that ever since 9-11 has been selling all kinds of cyber security software technology.
	To the American government.
	Hundreds of billions of dollars worth of crap that we've bought from this company.
	And also, one of the directors is Prince Christiansen or something like that.
	One of the Dutch princes, House of Orange.
	These guys are all losers, all of them.
	They've got no business being in business, but they're always at Goldman Sachs or some other important place.
	So it's an elitist bunch of pricks at this company.
	And they're going to lay it out for you, how the Ministry of Truth shall work.
	So first, this guy is going to tell you that the Internet's all messed up.
	This is why you need to support our show.
	Seriously, this is the exact reason.
	The Internet's all messed up.
	Nothing is true.
	We need a Ministry of Truth.
	And Bill Clinton is going to tell you exactly how we're going to do it.
	Without being so repressive, you're basically trying to deny access to information technology.
	He's interviewing the guy now.
	So he's supposed to be interviewed by Maria Bartiromo.
	Bill Clinton starts interviewing this CEO of this Israeli company, which is a U.S. base.
	So he's like shilling the company.
	So these guys are going to be installing the filters that you will have to deal with, which will eventually cut us out.
	Preserve autocracy.
	You know, we talk about governments.
	I would start with the companies.
	So let's take an example of the search engines companies.
	When we search something and ask for a question and we get it, we are very pleased because we got the answer and we are even not being asked to pay for it.
	So we look at the search engine companies or platforms and we're saying, those are great guys.
	We forget that there are two things.
	We forget that what motivates or positions the result of the search on the top is going to be advertising or it's going to be algorithms.
	And the algorithms that are looking for the information are not based on accuracy.
	They're based on popularism.
	They're saying, where is the most interesting site that most of the people visit?
	And that's what brings it to the top of the search.
	It's like taking the tabloids and turning it to the front page of the Wall Street Journal.
	Now you understand what's going on.
	He's setting Billy Boy up to punch it home.
	It begins with the companies.
	Why can't we have a credibility bar near every result of search?
	And you're going to say, okay, this information comes because it was written by a great blogger, or it was written by a 15-year-old person, or it was written by a very serious person.
	Why don't we...
	When we buy food, we have the ingredients of the food.
	When we go to see a movie, we have ratings.
	Who puts that credibility bar in?
	Oh, and John, how do you think we'll rate on the credibility bar?
	Do you think we'll be like all the way in the green?
	You know, this, by the way, I think probably in the late 90s, I first started hearing about this sort of deal.
	I mean, this is not the first guy who's come up with this idea.
	No, no.
	The irony, of course, I want to point this out to people, is that Google actually does that internally with their search already.
	Mm-hmm.
	But the idea of putting another layer on top of things is credibility or whatever you want to call it.
	There's a better word for it that people use when they're trying to sell venture capitalists on the idea.
	This is bogus.
	Engagement.
	No, that's another word.
	Everything's engagement.
	The social graph.
	It'll be the social graph will be so much better.
	So here's Bill, and he's going to tell us what we need.
	How should we do this?
	Well, he's got the answers.
	I mean, would you want to see the internet regulated?
	Well, the fact that it hasn't been explains one of the reasons it's grown like crazy.
	And even regulators wind up having their own interests at stake.
	Is there a role for government in terms of ensuring that the information out there is accurate and someone cannot just hurt someone else?
	Oh, you hurt me!
	You said something bad on the internet and you hurt me!
	Through their reputation, by attacking them with stories.
	Well, I think it would be a legitimate thing to do, but if you wanted to do it for exactly you wanted to set up some sort of agency, that would be a ring the bell.
	A ring the bell.
	Hello, John.
	What are you talking about the agency of truth?
	What does this guy know about anything?
	Hello, we are from the Ring the Bell Agency of Hot Pockets.
	We're here to tell you whether this blog post is good or not.
	You know, on heavily visited sites, this allegation has been made and here are the facts.
	If the government were involved, I think you'd have to do two things.
	Here are the facts.
	Hey, it's called Snopes.
	Yeah, facts.org, I think, is what it's called.
	Snopes.
	Or if you had a multinational group like the UN. The United Nations.
	Oh, yeah, have the UN censored the internet.
	It gets better.
	It gets better.
	I think, number one, you'd have to be totally transparent about where the money came from.
	And number two, you would have to make it independent.
	It would have to be like an independent, let's say the U.S. did, it would have to be an independent federal agency that no president could countermand or anything else because people wouldn't think that you were just censoring the news and giving a different fault to them.
	That is, it would be like, I don't know, National Public Radio or BBC or something like that.
	Thank you, Bill.
	Our national public radio.
	Our national treasure.
	This is our struggle.
	this is our struggle and please support our cause we're all getting just in under the wire and celebrating the last birthday on this heavenly earth is uh is he's seventh birthday uh anthony Anthony...
	How do we pronounce it?
	Kobla?
	Kobila?
	Kobla.
	You're not helping me out, Joe.
	All right.
	Uh...
	Yeah, so that's Izzy celebrating his seventh birthday.
	And Stana Edwards says, Happy last birthday to Shadman.
	Of course, as you know, we only have one more week to live.
	And we appreciate all of support to dvorak.org slash NA. Support us because the end is nigh, my friends.
	And happy birthday to you from all your buddies here at the No Agenda Show.
	It's your birthday, yeah!
	It's all over.
	No nights?
	No, no nights.
	Duh.
	No, nothing.
	Why do you think I was tweeting?
	This is horrible.
	This is our worst week in a year, maybe.
	At least.
	At least a year.
	Well, I think, you know, that maybe this news is not interested.
	The news cycle, it is kind of, they've taken over this Bin Laden thing.
	It's overanalyzed.
	Who cares?
	We don't have any information, but yet it's all they talk about.
	And even though it's all bogus, I mean, because there's no, I mean, there's no, we don't have access to any of this paperwork or this, people come out and they say, well, or Lucy comes out and she goes on and on about, and then she admits that she's never seen these things she doesn't really know and they're still being gone over.
	It's written in Arabic, in some scrawl.
	It's going to take forever.
	I mean, it's ridiculous.
	Well, she could read, eh, Joe Biden is not worth it.
	Yeah, well, how'd that show up so quick?
	Because it's all bull crap.
	Of course it is.
	Interesting.
	We've got an interesting two-to-the-head story, which I picked up.
	This is the lawyer named Darnay Hoffman.
	Does that ring a bell?
	Darnay Hoffman.
	No.
	So Darnay Hoffman famously was married to the Mayfair madam, and there was a lot of clients.
	But he also was suing the Ramseys, the John and Patsy Ramsey, parents of JonBenet Ramsey.
	Because he said, you know who murdered JonBenet.
	He also represented, he had famous clients, Bernie Goetz.
	So here's a lawyer who's been doing a lot of interesting people that he's represented.
	But he killed himself.
	I shouldn't laugh, but how can you make me believe that this lawyer, a very successful lawyer, killed himself after stabbing himself in the chest?
	I mean, really?
	He stabbed himself in the chest?
	Yeah.
	Come on, guys.
	That's not creative.
	The hot tub is better with the top on.
	Please.
	Stabbed himself in the chest.
	Then shot himself?
	No, he just stabbed himself in the chest.
	So what, is he Japanese?
	He committed harakiri.
	Exactly.
	No, the guy was clearly killed.
	It's obvious.
	I love how the New York Times write this.
	Uh...
	Mr.
	Hoffman died after stabbing himself in the chest.
	Even Mr.
	Hoffman's final act involved unusual drama.
	New York Times, seriously?
	You don't even question this?
	Stabbing himself in the chest.
	John, can I just tell you right now?
	If I'm dead because I stabbed myself in the chest, open an investigation.
	Because it's not going to happen that way.
	You'll be the hot tub guy.
	Yeah, you're probably right.
	It's going to happen in the hot tub to me.
	We do have some good news, though.
	It looks like Texas, the House has passed a bill that makes it illegal for anyone conducting searches to the, and they've been very specific, this is the anti-TSA search bill.
	You've been following this, I presume?
	Yeah, it's pretty funny.
	Well, yeah, so let me read this, because of course now we finally get to say all these nasty words in print.
	Approved late last Thursday night, the measure makes it illegal for anyone conducting searches to touch the anus, sexual organ, buttocks, or breast of other person, including through clothing.
	It also prohibits searches that would be offensive to a reasonable person.
	Chief sponsor of the bill, Republican David Simpson, who said, this has to do with the dignity in travel and prohibiting indecent groping searches.
	I believe investigating poop is still okay.
	So you can still investigate a poop diaper.
	But you can no longer...
	We need to print this out.
	Excuse me.
	Excuse me.
	You weren't planning on touching my anus, were you?
	Here it is, in black and white.
	This is good.
	I think Texas may be a place to move to.
	We'll see.
	So is that now law or is that just through the House and it still has to go through more?
	I think it's not passed completely.
	But they have a similar thing here in San Mateo County.
	Supposedly the DA there says if anybody does anything like what they do at the airport, they're going to prosecute.
	And I haven't seen any examples of that.
	They talk a big game.
	Right.
	Right.
	So the TSA just does what it wants and that's the end of it.
	Well, we'll see.
	I mean, I do have hope.
	I do have faith.
	I have no hope.
	This is Northwest Indiana.
	Now, this was crazy.
	A lot of people emailed me this one.
	In a 3-2 decision, Justice Stephen David...
	Now, was he one of these Obama-appointed guys?
	No.
	Writed for the court saying, if a police officer wants to enter a home for any reason...
	Oh yeah, this is big news.
	I think this is amazing.
	Yeah, or no reason at all, a homeowner cannot do anything to block the officer's entry.
	Now, this makes no sense.
	It makes plenty of sense if you're George III. Yeah, George W. Obama III. I mean, isn't that Fourth Amendment?
	Search and seizure just come barreling in anytime you feel like it.
	What the British used to do that caused the American Revolution, the foment of the American Revolution, just come barging in because you feel like it anytime you want.
	Which is basically what this leads to.
	It's like, hey, I wanted to see your collection.
	Hey, can I come and use your computer?
	No.
	And then you come.
	Yeah.
	I don't know what's wrong with this judge.
	Will this hold?
	Why is he on the bench?
	Well, you know, let's take a look at...
	I should have done the work on this.
	Justice Stephen David.
	Let's see.
	When was he appointed?
	Well, I think it should be listed somewhere.
	Where's his domain?
	Indiana, Indiana, Indiana.
	Um...
	Justice Stephen Day.
	What was it again, Stephen?
	David.
	Wow.
	Yeah, he's an Indiana Supreme Court justice.
	Chosen by the governor.
	And the governor is...
	He was picked just recently.
	He looks like a dip.
	Look at his picture.
	He looks like a drunk.
	Ha!
	Wait a minute, we have audio.
	Hold on a second.
	We've got a clip here.
	Daniels, here we go.
	In a group of admirable finalists, Stephen David stood out first for the breadth and diversity of experience.
	In addition to a distinguished 15-year tenure on the bench, he spent years in business on the receiving end of law and regulation.
	He compiled a highly decorated military career, during which he was tested in one of the most sensitive and challenging legal assignments possible.
	And he's a drunk!
	I heard clearly from Steve and David An expression to this.
	Alright, we gotta look into this guy.
	So this is Mitch Daniels who picked this guy?
	Mitch Daniels, the would-be presidential candidate on the Republican side, picks this guy?
	Oh, he's done.
	Yeah.
	That's crazy, isn't it?
	Oh, Mitch Daniels is done.
	Let's hear the guy talk.
	I may have an opportunity to step out the front some afternoon and talk to him, but no, I've never done it.
	His wife looks frumpy.
	Well, that's it?
	Oh, stupid press questions.
	Douchebag.
	Hold on, hold on.
	Douchebag!
	Just so you know, Steve and David.
	Mickey, take Indiana off the map.
	I don't want to be driving through there anymore.
	Can you just see me driving through there?
	I was like, woo!
	Hey.
	I'm coming in.
	We got a message here.
	We got a little message for you, son, from Judge Stephen David.
	Why don't you just bend over, son?
	I got a message for you.
	All right, get in this hot tub.
	We'll take care of you, boy.
	I guess we can't go to Indiana.
	Bad idea.
	No, it's just, this is crazy.
	I'm surprised the public's not up in arms about this.
	Oh, please.
	Is this public up in arms that the Congressional Committee voted to reauthorize the Patriot Act?
	No.
	No.
	The public's not up in arms.
	They're not up in arms about anything.
	Yes, they are.
	Yes, they are.
	This public has become so passive.
	We are watching Chaz Bono.
	That's...
	Mickey, take Indiana off the map.
	Yeah, exactly.
	Take the pin out because it's gotten dangerous now.
	Thank you, darling.
	You know, the coffee's been great so far.
	I've been like...
	How much coffee are you drinking?
	None.
	She like took the pot away like an hour ago and hasn't brought any.
	She's been getting all wired up on coffee.
	She's too...
	Well, I gotta tell you.
	You know, the guy looks a little like Randy Quaid.
	He does, doesn't he?
	Yeah.
	With that goofy, goofy laugh.
	I haven't been sleeping well.
	Why do you think that is?
	I don't know.
	Almost every single night I wake up at 2 o'clock and then it takes me hours to get back to sleep again.
	Why don't you just stay up for a couple hours?
	I do, but on show day it's kind of tough because then I find it's like 5 o'clock, oh I can fall asleep again, then the alarm goes at 5.30.
	But here's what happened yesterday.
	So it was another one that was 2 o'clock in the morning.
	I wake up, I'm like, oh, you know.
	And I actually got out of bed, had a cup of tea, had some green tea.
	And then, so I go back to bed around 4.00.
	4 or 4.30.
	Mickey comes into the room around 9.30 and says, something's really wrong.
	This is not my favorite way of waking up.
	He said, a four-engine propeller aircraft just came over the house really low.
	It was like the windows were rattling and the power went off.
	Seriously.
	She said, what is happening?
	EMP strike is what I'm thinking.
	And it happened like two more times.
	It would just blip, right?
	Just a little blip of power, which of course kills the computers and everything reboots and it gets all crazy.
	Except I have one computer on a battery.
	You should have a bunch of batteries in the house.
	Yeah, I have one on a battery.
	We'll get some more.
	But how weird is that?
	You sure this wasn't a dream?
	No, it wasn't.
	Mickey came in to wake me up and said, I've never seen an airplane like this fly.
	It's a four-engine, propeller-driven airplane.
	Came over really low, going in a direction that we rarely see any aircraft going.
	And then the power went out.
	I'm like, EMP strike.
	That's it.
	I'm amazed we're still on the air.
	EMP strike at the house.
	That's what it is.
	Is that what happened, honey, or not?
	Yeah.
	She wouldn't be...
	You're in a neighborhood where there's a lot of houses.
	You'd think people would complain.
	Are you isolated?
	No, not entirely.
	If I had an Apache with a couple of missiles, could I just take your place out?
	Easy.
	A drone.
	I'd never know what hit me.
	You could drone me in a second.
	And the neighbors would be like, oh well.
	You're right.
	That's exactly what would happen.
	Oh, well, it's the Pornhouse.
	Who cares?
	It's just them.
	You know, this is the Pornhouse.
	You know that, right?
	I've told you the story.
	You told me something about it used to be used for making porn movies.
	Yeah, but it's the only house...
	Do you know any movies that were actually filmed that you can get copies of?
	Yeah, apparently Vivid Entertainment.
	So you'd have to go look at it.
	Well, they do most of the work nowadays.
	Yeah.
	That's why the neighbors didn't come over with a cake.
	And after three weeks, we finally went across the street and said, hey, what's up with this?
	They said, oh, you're actually renting the place.
	Yeah?
	Oh, well, yeah.
	Because that's always been renting by...
	When you were going in and out, you and Mickey, everyone thought you were a couple of porn actors?
	Yeah, and we had, like, lights and cameras in the garage and stuff, you know, for the big app show.
	I'm like, oh, that's a really long feature they're shooting over there.
	So they thought that we were, like...
	It's going on forever.
	We were porn actors.
	Yeah.
	It's bad, right?
	Yeah, because people look funny at you.
	Yeah, yeah.
	I wonder what that guy's package looks like.
	And even though we've, you know, I think we've kind of confirmed that we're not, they still don't really come over and hang out.
	I don't think they're really buying it still.
	They don't want to be in the movie.
	They're just not buying it.
	Oh my goodness.
	Hey, good news though, John.
	Really, really good news from the vaccine front.
	It's just unbelievable.
	There is now an online test for early signs of Alzheimer.
	Brought to you by foodforthebrain.org.
	An online test?
	Yeah!
	It's the cognitive function test.
	And you want to take it with me?
	Well, I'll tell you what the real test is when they're testing you.
	People can do this in their spare time.
	Count backwards.
	Yeah.
	From a hundred by seven.
	So it'd be a hundred, ninety-three, eighty-six, seventy-nine, seventy-two, like that?
	Yeah.
	In your head.
	In my head?
	Yeah.
	Okay.
	But not now, I'm just saying.
	It'll be your old days.
	Do you want to do the cognitive function test?
	I guess.
	So, the results of this test may indicate that you have mild cognitive impairment.
	Everybody does.
	Or the first signs of a memory problem.
	Are you happy to proceed with the test?
	There's four checkboxes.
	One, I wish to complete the cognitive function test.
	Yes.
	I give consent for the charity to use my data to calculate my test result.
	We've got to check that box.
	I give consent for the charity to store my data for me to undertake future comparison.
	And the fifth choice is what test?
	I give my consent for the charity to use my results anonymously for research purposes.
	This is not a good test.
	This is not a test.
	This is a cheap way of doing a poll.
	Yeah, let's see.
	Terms of use.
	Oh my gosh.
	There's like a whole terms of use.
	If I'd known this, I wouldn't have brought it up.
	What do I have to do?
	Just do a question or two.
	Yeah, but I'm just going to agree with the terms of service without having read it?
	Yeah, that's what everyone else does.
	I'll be the human sent iPad.
	Do it.
	Okay, first of all, I've got to fill in your name.
	John?
	Hey!
	Put in some bogus name.
	Put in Lucy Napolitano.
	Okay, Lucy.
	All right, here we go.
	It's only asked for first name.
	Lucy, I've got to select a year.
	You have to be at least 50.
	So what year would we have to select?
	We'll just take 1950.
	All right, so that puts it at 60.
	Country, United States...
	Please remind me to retake the test in a year.
	Yeah, this is fun.
	It's an Alzheimer's test that's going to remind you.
	Please send me your mental health e-newsletter every other month.
	Nice.
	Okay, so it'll be lucy at dhs.gov.
	What's a homocysteine test result, if known?
	What is that?
	I don't know.
	I don't know what that is.
	Next.
	Please just take me to the test.
	Okay.
	Oh, my gosh.
	You're right.
	It's a stupid poll.
	It's like...
	Okay, here we go.
	Years in education full-time.
	How many years full-time?
	What has this got to do with anything?
	Are you currently working?
	No.
	Do you regularly use a computer?
	This is a poll.
	This is bullcrap.
	This is not a test.
	Have you got any concerns about your memory?
	Of course.
	Who doesn't?
	Yes.
	Do you forget the names of close friends or relatives?
	Yes.
	Yes, I'm just going to say yes.
	Do you forget where you put things more than once a week?
	Yes.
	Yeah, everyone loses their keys.
	Come on.
	Do you forget the...
	Well, this is a big deal.
	It's like a big news story.
	It's like we can detect Alzheimer's.
	When I was a teenager, I lost my keys.
	Do you forget the word you're looking for more than once a week?
	Well, we...
	That's...
	Yeah.
	I think everyone does that.
	Do you lose your way outside of your own neighborhood?
	Depends.
	I'll just say no.
	If you're plastered, you might...
	Would anyone in your family or close friends think that your memory is worse than it used to be?
	Well, I think everyone would.
	Yeah, okay.
	Do you have a family history of Alzheimer's disease?
	No, right?
	You don't, right?
	Nobody does.
	At what age were they formally diagnosed?
	Doesn't apply.
	That's a survey question.
	Do you take any of the following...
	So we just take no supplements?
	This is lame.
	Oh, here we go.
	This computerized test consists of four parts.
	All right.
	Blah-dy-blah-dy-blah.
	Oh.
	The first test is simply to assess your mouse click speed.
	Oh!
	So if you play Worlds of Warcraft, you're probably going to pass the test.
	This is great.
	Please click on all of the round buttons.
	This is a timed test, so please click all buttons as quickly as you can.
	Oh my gosh.
	Okay.
	It's crazy.
	I don't have a good mouse.
	I've got a trackpad.
	Really?
	The mouse button?
	That makes a difference.
	Yeah, of course it does.
	What if you're using one of those pointing things?
	I'm using a trackpad.
	This is what makes it so difficult.
	I'm almost done.
	Oh, you're flunking already.
	Yeah, this is like, you know, some kids, they're like, oh, I think you need the vaccine, dude.
	Okay, click.
	I've got them all.
	Next.
	What's the next test?
	This is so bogus.
	I'm going to show you a grid.
	The grid has five vertical columns.
	Each column is labeled A to E. Arranged across the columns are 20 items.
	I will ask you to identify each item.
	What?
	It's like they're showing me scissors, kangaroo.
	I'm not playing this.
	This is stupid.
	But it's a real test.
	Scissors kangaroo.
	Try the counting backwards thing.
	Scissors kangaroo.
	Anyway, so the Alzheimer's thing is just off the chart.
	We spotted this a couple months ago.
	This is a major, major meme going on in the country for some reason.
	Obviously for some vaccine, which is, since they don't really know what causes Alzheimer's, it seems unlikely there's a vaccine for it.
	However, there's good news.
	For dementia and Alzheimer's sufferers in New Zealand, the smart shoe will be issued.
	This is a GPS shoe.
	Ha!
	So we can track you when you get lost.
	Unless, of course, you forget to put your shoes on.
	Which would kind of suck.
	My shoes were stolen.
	It's like, you've got to look at the links at 304.nashownotes.com.
	It's unbelievable the amount.
	Everyone's jumping on this bandwagon here.
	Alzheimer's caregivers may be at risk for dementia.
	How's that work?
	They found a virus?
	Husbands and wives who care for a spouse with Alzheimer's disease or other kinds of dementia may face an increased risk of mental decline themselves, according to...
	No, this is the hint that there is some sort of a virus or bacteria causing this.
	Thus, the vaccine will do something.
	Oh, yeah.
	It's all coming.
	It's all coming.
	That's very subtle.
	What evidence is there of this?
	A survey...
	In 2004, Harvard researchers reported that older women who took care of a disabled or ill spouse were 31%, they should have done 33, more likely to have a low score on a standard test for cognitive function compared to women of the same age who were not caregivers.
	Yeah, it's unbelievable.
	Well, you know, the funny thing is, I mean, it's possible that Alzheimer's is caused by some agent, but they've never identified it.
	Ken Trails!
	Then our national treasure broke the news.
	This is another thing people have been emailing.
	There's now...
	They're not really saying it exactly yet, but there's a miracle cure for AIDS. I'm sorry, HIV. Now, I have my own thoughts about that, which we don't discuss on the show too much.
	Yeah, I've seen these stories too.
	This came up just recently.
	Yeah, and it's a little...
	Out of the blue.
	So here's, in a nutshell, what they're saying is...
	If we give you this stuff soon enough, then even if you're infected, you won't get full-blown AIDS. And if you're a partner of someone who has HIV, and by the way, it's very confusing.
	They say AIDS, HIV, HIV, AIDS. You know, it's all this stuff all mixed up.
	Then you probably will never get it as long as you take your medicine.
	Slave.
	And transmit it to others.
	The new study suggests if they could be found and persuaded to take an antiviral pill once or twice a day, the spread of HIV could be slowed down a lot.
	Uh-huh.
	So is this like...
	Is that Doug?
	Yeah, it's our national treasure.
	It's NPR. I don't know.
	I think it's all things considered.
	Around the world, 30 million people are infected with HIV. Only 5 million are getting treatment.
	Dr.
	Ken Mayer of Brown University says the new study has just added millions more to the list of who should be getting treated.
	Oh, we've got to get these customers.
	New customers, John!
	We found new customers!
	The challenging news is that this creates an increased number of people who would benefit from treatment, so the gap between the number of people on treatment and the number of people who would benefit from treatment actually increases by these findings.
	But efforts to expand treatment have stalled.
	So, in a sense, today's news pits those who need treatment, because they're ill with HIV, against those who should get it to prevent new infections.
	I'm literally hearing them say, you know, you kind of got to take this just in case.
	What we missed here is we missed a PR agency that's obviously behind this bullcrap story.
	Well, they're big because it's everywhere.
	When you get on NPR with that kind of a coverage, you're one of the big boys.
	But even if the drug were freely available, it's not easy to get people to take it.
	The pill does not remove HIV and it's not a one-time procedure.
	So when we talk about earlier therapy, we're talking about people making a commitment to taking medications on a regular basis for essentially the rest of their lives.
	The World Health Organization says it will put out new recommendations this summer on how to strike the balance between prevention and treatment.
	Richard Knox, NPR News.
	That's right.
	Brought to you by the Ministry of Truth and Hill& Knowlton.
	Or some company of that size.
	One of the big boys.
	Yeah.
	That's a real deal.
	So, well, I guess that's it.
	I actually have a story that's kind of...
	No, that's not it.
	You've got all kinds of stuff.
	I don't have that much.
	But there's a story that's been developing, and it was covered on C-SPAN, and they repeated it, and they repeated it.
	And it's the rape...
	Apparently the Peace Corps has had a history of rapes.
	Yeah, there was a congressional hearing about this.
	Yeah, a big congressional hearing, and they took the latest Peace Corps lackey, and they scolded him.
	But apparently, I was looking into this.
	Play the Peace Corps clip, and I'll tell you a couple things.
	The Peace Corps is known for exporting American altruism and volunteers around the world on humanitarian projects.
	But on Capitol Hill today, rape victims portrayed a very different Peace Corps, one that was indifferent, even hostile, to their plights.
	Our congressional correspondent, Kate Baldwin, is joining us today.
	This is pretty amazing stuff that happened today.
	Amazing and shocking, really, Wolf.
	As you just mentioned, the Peace Corps is all about promoting peace and friendship around the world.
	But today, it was painted as an organization more concerned about its own reputation than protecting its own volunteers.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, I did see that on C-SPAN.
	But I couldn't wait.
	I was too bored to wait for the rape point.
	So I looked at all the different directors to see where this began.
	This has been going on for apparently a real long time, and what's overlooked in all these reports is in 2002, and this is available online if you do a little digging, In 2002, the Peace Corps did a huge document, which is available online as a PDF file, about rapes and safety in the Peace Corps, saying that it's improved a lot since 10 or 15 years earlier.
	So apparently...
	This is not a new story by any means.
	It's just being brought up for some reason.
	And in 2002, I guess it's been getting worse since this research report was done.
	The whole thing is ridiculous.
	But as I was listening to this, I have a kind of...
	And I don't have any conclusions to make, but...
	I did end up with a technical question, a broadcasting question, a more general question that maybe some of the podcasters out there might be interested in hearing the answer to with an Ask Adam piece.
	Oh, my goodness.
	You're going to roll it out on me right near the end of the show?
	Well, hold on a second.
	Let me...
	Ask Adam.
	So I'm listening to this, and this is something I've always been fascinated with, which is packages.
	Now, in the broadcast medium, a package is when you're like a reporter, and you go and you produce a little segment.
	You voice over some B-roll, and you try to...
	It's a report.
	It's these reports where they have somebody talk, and then they cut to a report of a bunch of clips.
	This is called a package.
	It's a ready-made piece of material, of content, and it usually has a little bit of B-roll, just video at the front, that while the newscaster is doing the intro to the piece, which is also delivered with the package as a script, then they can start rolling that in, and then that's back time, so you stop talking and then the audio comes up and the package starts.
	Right.
	Now, the thing that always happens, and I've seen this and I've witnessed it and I've done it, When you do a package, they always insist you go into a soundproof room to do the voiceover or the voice for the package, and so the sound changes because you're like a reporter in an open area and you're talking into a microphone and it has a lot of ambience.
	Oh, so you're talking about you do an intro to your own package and then it's your own package?
	Yeah, I'm talking about people who do their own package.
	Oh, that's not good.
	You can't do the intro to your own package.
	That's lame.
	It's very common.
	You see it all the time.
	Well, no.
	You're on remote, and then the newscaster tosses to you.
	They say, well, thank you very much, John.
	Yes, well, here at the courthouse.
	And then they look down, because they're looking at the monitor.
	Then the package starts.
	Then they have their voiceover.
	Yeah, you're right.
	And it usually is.
	They're in like some, oh, we've got to be really quiet in the booth.
	Yeah, but here's what happens.
	Here's an example.
	This is what...
	Play the Ask Adam clip.
	You can hear the difference between the voice on the regular mic and then the voice in the soundproof booth.
	...and protecting its own volunteers.
	Kerstin Conan was working for the Peace Corps in Niger in 19...
	See?
	Yeah, yeah, I know.
	Why do they do this?
	I'm asking you.
	This is Ask Adam.
	Why do you change for...
	I'll tell you why.
	Now, by the way, I would never do this.
	It sounds crummy.
	You're sounding like this one minute and then you sound like this.
	It's because they are drones and they get distracted and it has to be so professional and usually they're being told what to say so they sit in the bus.
	You know what?
	It's stupid is what it is.
	It's stupid-o.
	I hear this over and over again.
	You hear the person talking in free air with a lot of ambience to the voice because they're outside.
	And then they package rolls.
	And why don't they voice the package in the same environment so the voice sounds the same?
	It sounds like a different person.
	Yeah.
	So here's the...
	Well, you don't have a good answer for me.
	You just think it's stupid.
	I was forced to confront him in front of the Peace Corps medical director...
	Who had chided me.
	Being forced to see this man again, to speak to him, and to convince the Peace Corps he had raped me was extremely traumatic, but I did it.
	The Peace Corps took no action against my assailant.
	This is why it was in the news, because they brought someone in who was raped at the Peace Corps.
	Oh, they got a whole bunch of them.
	Yeah, there was like a hundred of them.
	Cool.
	What's this?
	Closer to your mouth.
	Thank you.
	Thank you.
	Anyway, just a little thing.
	Just a little gripe about these packages.
	I've always had it.
	I've never had a good explanation for it.
	I don't know why they do it that way.
	Because they suck.
	Because it sucks.
	Because they're totally stupid and they suck.
	I don't know.
	The networks do that.
	Yeah, I don't know why.
	They just suck.
	If you or I were in charge...
	This is why I have to ask Adam.
	I thought you might know why.
	Adam doesn't have an answer.
	There's your answer, because they suck.
	Well, that's not much of an answer.
	I got one more clip.
	No, I got an Ask John.
	Can I do a little Ask John?
	If you got one.
	Ask John Jurek.
	Who, John, is the recipient of the first annual Data Hero Visionary Award as presented by IBM and EMC? What's the name of the award again?
	Don't go Googling!
	Hey, hey, hey, stop Googling.
	I didn't Google on your Ask Adam.
	You didn't give me an answer either.
	I did.
	Oh, don't tell me.
	No!
	You Googled it.
	No!
	Ladies and gentlemen, the recipient of the first annual Data Hero Visionary Award presented by IBM and EMC is Vivek Kundra!
	The guy who talks in COBOL and binary?
	Well, you know why they're giving him this award, don't you?
	Because they want the big cloud contract.
	Oh, that's right.
	There's a big cloud contract because he's real cloud-oriented.
	Yeah, that's why they make him the first data hero.
	Data hero.
	Give me a break.
	$18 million website and we can't even get $50 grand for a jingle.
	That data hero.
	Shadow Puppet Theater.
	First annual.
	That's great.
	Isn't that awesome?
	I'll give you the 10 points for that one.
	That wins today.
	Isn't that just amazing?
	Who comes up with this stuff?
	Well, the PR guys.
	Yeah, well, it's a good idea.
	These universities like to give honorary degrees to big spenders, hoping that they give the universities some money.
	Well, MTV did the same thing.
	We needed Michael Jackson, we needed the planetary premiere of his award, and we needed him to perform on the Video Music Awards, so we gave him the Michael Jackson Video Vanguard of the Year Award.
	And the first recipient was Michael Jackson.
	It didn't get any better than that.
	It's such a scam.
	Yeah.
	It's fantastic.
	I'm telling you, it's great.
	He's going to have this thing on his wall.
	Oh, yeah.
	Oh, yeah.
	That's like gold records from the record business.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	So, yeah, anyway.
	Just so you know, we're on top of it.
	We're watching out.
	Not that we can stop the $18 million being spent on a stupid Drupal website, but at least we can expose the terror.
	Squirrel!
	And terror it is, my friends.
	Hey, plenty of other stuff in the show notes at nashownotes.com.
	You can just fill in the episode number.
	They'll take you right to it.
	We've got all the assets now, so all the clips that were played and everything, it's all in there.
	And people should take that as a part of our service, and I work really hard on it, too.
	So 304.nashownotes.com is where you will find everything for today's program.
	And we're getting up on the end of the world.
	Yeah, so if you care to give us some cash before you die, you have one week to do it.
	Check out Dvorak.org slash NA for the 521 possibilities.
	Also, NoAgendaShow.com and NoAgendaNation, which has a donation button, which makes it easy for you.
	And SeanHannity.com.
	So, coming to you from the Hilltop Watchtower Crackpot Command Center, where I'm being attacked by EMP weapons.
	I'm Adam Curry.
	And from Northern Silicon Valley, where I've never seen an EMP weapon, I'm John C. Dvorak.
	We'll talk to you again on Thursday, right here, on No Agenda.

▲