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March 22, 2009 - No Agenda

01:31:59

82: Boom and Bust Explained

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Time	Text
	Adam Curry.
	John C. Dvorak.
	Re-emerging from the depths of our mundane day jobs as the superheroes of the stupid.
	It's no agenda for Sunday, March 22nd.
	This is no agenda.
	Basking in the nectar of God's sunshine from the Crackpot Command Center here in southwest London, located in Gitmo Nation East.
	I'm Adam Curry.
	And here in Silicon Valley North, I'm John C. Dvorak.
	It's Crackpot and Buzzkill.
	In the morning...
	I expected a little more from you.
	I noticed.
	I tried to keep it short, but then I guess I should have been longer.
	Next time I'll go long.
	Yeah, please.
	Long ball.
	I was just stunned by the fact you insulted our audience.
	Why?
	What do you mean, why was I stunned?
	Oh, I don't know.
	Because the guys who do that consistently, if you ever watch an ESPN show called Pardon the Interruption, they always start to show off the similar kind of thing.
	Okay, well, let's not do that because I didn't get it.
	Yeah, okay.
	Hey, John, how are you?
	Okay, in the morning.
	In the morning!
	Better, huh?
	I'm faster.
	Eh, still, you know.
	Well, I didn't have my...
	I was just picking up the T. I've got it under a button now if I need it, so I just wanted to keep my hand on the button at all times.
	I was thinking you should be poised.
	I need a version of this.
	I need some sort of a remote button so I can hear it from here.
	Yeah, so I have a fader fox.
	I showed you that, right?
	My fader fox?
	Yeah.
	So I have that set up now, and whenever you call for it, it's just I do have to have my hand on the button, which, you know...
	Yeah.
	A little work.
	A little work.
	To bet you can't do it with your eyeballs.
	Just look at it, boom, it goes.
	Like Stephen Hawking.
	He just looks at it, and it just comes out.
	Hey, man, I've had an awesome week, I must say.
	I spent most of my week in the zone, programming our 24-7 stream.
	Oh yeah, that's right.
	You're still working on that.
	Yeah, thanks for listening.
	Lots of people are very excited and the numbers are starting to show it a little bit.
	It's starting to come up.
	People are checking out noagendastream.com.
	I've got now three different news sources that come through on Twitter that basically mention headlines that are very similar to the stuff we talk about on the show.
	And every couple of songs, like every five songs or so, the most recent tweets that have been sent to No Agenda Stream get read out on the air.
	And people are liking it.
	I've noticed it on the Twitter.
	People are checking it out.
	We haven't gotten the negative stuff yet.
	Why would there be any negative stuff?
	Because there's negative people out there.
	There's negative people in the world.
	Bummers, man.
	Buzz kills.
	They do exist, believe it or not.
	Letter from David Johnson.
	Uh-oh.
	John Adam.
	I've been a listener since show number one.
	In the morning.
	Sorry, it was a misfire.
	I've been a listener since show number one, email contributor, and love the banter between a buzzkill and crackpot.
	However, here it comes.
	Here, yeah, of course.
	However, but, in all honesty.
	He takes it to the next level of a side.
	It's not however, it's unfortunately.
	Unfortunately, oh my goodness.
	In other words, we jump right into the, we go right over the cliff.
	So thank you very much, and now I'm going to stick it in your back.
	Unfortunately, I'm finding the show's theme is shifting toward the doom and gloom format that I try to avoid from mainstream media like Fox's Glenn Beck show.
	Oh, please.
	You couldn't get more insulting than that.
	If I could take those two in the mornings back right now, I would.
	The radio-like music snippets and increased focus on getting paid is getting somewhat annoying.
	I would like to see the show lean back towards its roots, playing off each other, more social topics, a little less politics, food reviews.
	John's knowledge...
	You know, we need money for the food reviews.
	John's knowledge of...
	And we have to get together somehow in southern France.
	John's knowledge of history applied to the topics at hand, etc.
	Oh.
	Stop right there.
	That's unfair.
	Even last week, I brought up this whole Israeli lobby thing, and you weren't quite prepared for the question, I think.
	But that was specifically tapping into your historical knowledge.
	I just don't accept that.
	You end up having to talk about David and Saul.
	Anyway, I understand that current topics are taken from current news, but what happened to, quote, no agenda?
	Spontaneous, different from the mainstream drawl.
	Please don't go there!
	I'm still a loyal fan, but I felt the need to give some feedback.
	Thanks, David Johnson.
	Thank you for your letter.
	Thank you for your letter.
	Let me respond to that.
	I'm seeing something really...
	What?
	Just go ahead.
	I'm seeing something very interesting happening here.
	What we are creating, which really started with the second show week, where we're saying, okay, look, now we need to have donations in order to keep this going to grow the show.
	Grow.
	To grow the show.
	And it's one for one.
	The money is absolutely going to be necessary if we really want to take this into a full-time gig.
	We're both still pretty much, we have other jobs that we're doing at the same time.
	But what's cool about it is anyone can contribute to what we're doing here through a number of different ways.
	Yes, you can contribute to the library fund, library slash winery.
	But there are people who are helping write code.
	There are people who are finding interesting bits of news.
	It's much bigger than that.
	And I'm telling you that this stream thing...
	It's going to open up a whole new economy of stuff that people can do.
	I mean, there are people now working on iPhone apps for this show.
	So you hit a button, and then you hear the stream.
	You hit a button, and then there's a window that opens that automatically tweets no agenda stream.
	You hit a button.
	You know, it's all these different ways that people...
	Buttons.
	Buttons.
	Basically...
	In the morning!
	We just filled with buttons.
	We're getting somewhere.
	Okay.
	I think...
	I'm getting some Kleenex.
	I have to blow my nose after listening to that sob story.
	In the morning.
	Okay.
	The word of the day, John.
	The word of the day.
	Oh, you got more?
	No, I don't.
	The word of the day.
	But you could at least give me a shot at it.
	Sure.
	And I got nothing.
	What's the word of the day?
	Ponsimonium.
	Ooh, Ponzi-monion.
	Ponzi-monium.
	Ponzi-monium.
	Yeah, and it's not my word.
	It's like pandemonium, only it's got to do with the Ponzi scheme.
	Yes, it comes from my favorite publication, the Financial Times.
	And word is out.
	Hundreds of Ponzi schemes are being uncovered.
	Literally hundreds are being uncovered.
	The Commodity Futures Trading Commission...
	Has said, well, yeah, it looks like there's hundreds out there.
	Well, we should take the guys who ran the SEC and simply throw them in jail.
	Yes, exactly.
	Hang them up, buy their testicles.
	Boy, there's a lot of women in there.
	There's mostly women.
	Yeah, I guess that...
	By the way, we must apologize to our female listeners.
	That's what we were going to talk about last week, and you didn't do it.
	Or did you forget already?
	Yeah.
	What, that we have plenty of female listeners?
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	And a couple of them think we're insulting them constantly.
	Shit, man.
	I'm so happy we have female listeners.
	I think we got about...
	I bet you we have over 20% female listeners.
	Probably.
	Which is at least twice as many as a typical couple of nerds get.
	A lot of moms, I've noticed.
	Hmm.
	Well, that's you.
	That's what you'd notice.
	You know me, the MILF seeker.
	Always on the lookout.
	Ha, ha, ha.
	Back to Ponzi ammonium, which I like.
	Another $635 million Ponzi scheme uncovered.
	I guess that's the one good thing about this economic downturn.
	The Ponzi schemes don't work when things are going negatively.
	But what's interesting is when you look at all the, what you would call the fractals, so these, of course, are fractals of Madoff with his $50 billion Ponzi scheme.
	Actually, up to $66 billion.
	Oh, yeah, I know.
	Above him, it's got to be a lot more.
	It's got to be much bigger.
	It makes so much sense, doesn't it?
	When you think about it, everyone's going nuts.
	Everyone's loving.
	I mean, I can't believe that we didn't come up with this.
	Now I think of it.
	Because it's so simple.
	When everyone's in a happy investment mood, you just open up shop, you start collecting money, and then when it's time to pay some returns, you go collect some more money and just keep it going.
	It makes so much sense.
	And these Ponzi schemes are anywhere from about a million dollars to up to a billion dollars in the Ponzi-monium.
	But you're spot on.
	Why don't we throw these regulators under the bus?
	Yeah, it's unbelievable.
	Oh, and they're so tough.
	And by the way, and I haven't mentioned it for weeks and weeks and weeks, so I'm going to do it.
	Martha Stewart gets thrown in the slammer.
	Exactly.
	Well, and I believe there is a correlation between the women running the show at the regulator.
	Wasn't it Blair, her name?
	Thompson.
	Linda Thompson was the head of the...
	I mean, there was a head of the whole thing, which is a woman again, by the way, who was formerly the head of another enforcement agency that did nothing.
	But Linda Thompson seemed to be the one.
	And she talked so much like the big nurse and the one flew over the cuckoo's nest.
	Really?
	Yeah, but we have a...
	No, we don't.
	I don't understand why you're so upset.
	Kind of thing.
	That's funny.
	Yeah, no, they probably went after Martha Stewart because they hated her.
	Yeah, exactly.
	Just standing on the outside, doesn't it seem so apparent?
	They're like, you know, fuck that bitch.
	We're going to get her.
	Yeah, let's get that stupid Martha Stewart with a fucking magazine.
	Oh, she knows everything.
	Oh, let's just stick a doily up her twat.
	That's what we're going to do.
	Here comes a doily, Martha Stewart.
	So, yes, I agree with that.
	All right, so what else we got?
	Well, what you got on your list, man?
	I got nothing.
	I'm going along with the idea that this show has no agenda.
	There's nothing to be talked about.
	But I will mention a couple of things.
	So I got to watch Obama on Leno.
	Yes, I saw that as well.
	Good, let's talk about it.
	You said look a lot.
	Look, look.
	Did you count the number?
	I haven't been able to.
	I've gone through it a couple of times.
	I did the look drinking game.
	I was hammered eight minutes into the interview.
	I couldn't follow the rest.
	Look, Jay, let me be very clear.
	So there's something kind of, I don't know what it is, but I can see why no other president did this.
	There's something screwy about it.
	It's an entertainment show.
	You have the president of the United States, one of the highest positions in the world that requires a lot of bodyguards.
	And sitting in a chair that's lower than the host chair, because those shows are all set up.
	If you haven't noticed this when you watch these shows, a lot of the listeners don't know that.
	And the worst case scenario is Letterman.
	The guy who is in the interview chair is sitting at the base level, where his butt is, about three inches lower than the host.
	Yep.
	And it's just for the effect of, you know, the effect...
	But even when you tower over someone like I do in most cases, it has immediate powerful effects.
	It's just human nature.
	Right.
	So the host is sitting way up in the air, like in the Katberg seat, and they're looking down upon the guest.
	So for this model, with the President of the United States, it's ridiculous.
	And so it gives you the feeling that, oh, is this guy an actor, or is he...
	Uh-huh.
	Uh-huh.
	Is he selling a book?
	Yes, yes, he's selling a book.
	A very expensive one, but he's selling a book.
	Yes, go on.
	So it's just, I find the whole thing to be slightly creepy and ill-advised.
	I disagree with you.
	I do not think it was ill-advised.
	I think it was.
	It is fantastic.
	First of all, the appearance, home run.
	Absolute home run.
	Boy, this guy is good.
	Yeah, well, we've known that.
	If you watched him when he was on Leno before, and when he was on Letterman, he was very good.
	He's very personable, even though he stammers to an extreme.
	He's very thoughtful.
	He's got a very disarming smile.
	He's got a beautiful smile.
	As opposed to his grimace, which is horrible.
	And he seems like a guy with a lot of personality, even though he's ponderous and he's a little bit academic and he's almost like John Kerry in that regard, except he's not so homely.
	So here's the next thing to look for, and I guess he's doing 60 minutes for tonight.
	You can almost see the switch flip over, and the switch, as you observed correctly, starts with look.
	So he's personable, he's making jokes, he's very, very good, self-deprecating, good little personal story about the Secret Service, and just...
	Exactly.
	I looked at him like the guy could have been a basketball player sitting on Leno's couch.
	As you said, is he an actor?
	Is he a celebrity?
	Yes, yes, yes.
	Is he selling something?
	Obviously.
	And that pitch is always pre-announced by look and who.
	He just slips in and then the save or create comes out automatically.
	That's programmed.
	He said that so many times.
	And I know this because when you do, like at MTV or even Mevio Today, which I do every single day, there's all these little lines and catchphrases that you're always using and you use those when you need to communicate something repetitively or when you need time to think about something, what you're going to say next.
	And boy, this guy was completely, completely filled with automated message delivery.
	It was just fantastic to watch.
	I think it did make a difference in the perception.
	His whole California trip, I don't know if you had a chance to, because this was on C-SPAN, if you saw his town hall meeting in California?
	No, I didn't see it.
	Oh, you missed a good one.
	Record it.
	Well, it's on C-SPAN. So it was pretty funny.
	By the way, before you go into the C-SPAN thing, I do want to mention something that he did on the show, which is another one of his memes.
	And he did it in the exact same order, exact same way he always does it, which is to promote health care, energy, and education.
	Yeah, I bet you can almost say it verbatim by now.
	No, I'm getting closer.
	Go ahead, give it a shot.
	I can't.
	I'm not there yet.
	Oh.
	But he has this little pitch, and it's about two sentences, and it's always about health care.
	Americans want affordable health care.
	We want the best education we can give.
	No, no, energy is usually the last one, then he says.
	And we want to reduce our dependence upon foreign oil.
	On the next show we do, I'll have the clip.
	Okay.
	Energy is always second.
	So this town hall meeting in California, it was so funny because it was filled with Obama bots.
	And they were all from the volunteer agency.
	And not that that was pre-announced.
	So first he does his whole spiel.
	And just a rousing speech.
	Just really great, of course, with a whole room full of basically a fan club day, what we used to call it.
	Yeah, like Steve Jobs.
	Yeah, exactly.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	One more thing.
	That's all that was missing.
	And, of course, it was all from teleprompter.
	The video, beautifully done.
	So now they're shooting so you don't see the prompter from really in the back of the room.
	So it gives you a little bit of depth.
	But he never looks in the camera, of course.
	But it's a town hall, so he doesn't have to.
	And then he took questions.
	And, you know, it was so scripted, John.
	You know, first it was the health care, every single piece you wanted to have.
	And then one guy stood up and he said, well, Mr.
	President, you know, as you know, I'm a volunteer, blah, blah, blah.
	And, of course, all of us here are volunteers.
	He gave it away, right?
	He gave away that this was a room full of shills.
	The guy blew it.
	He totally, totally blew it.
	By the way, he will not be invited to the next Camp Obama meeting.
	Shoot him.
	Take him out back.
	He's off the list.
	He's off the list.
	He's a dead man.
	Forget about it, buddy.
	You are a goner.
	But no, it was, I think, a job well done when it comes to the script and distracting everybody.
	And I, too, am outraged by these bonuses.
	Yeah, but how come he's not outraged at the fact that the only reason those bonuses were guaranteed to be in the bill that gave that insurance company, IAG, all that money was because of Chris Dodd?
	Exactly.
	You know that, right?
	Yeah, of course.
	I mentioned that last week.
	Chris Dodd is the guy who said, yeah, I knew about it.
	I let it stay in there because it was necessary.
	No, he pushed it, put it in there.
	He didn't let it stay.
	No, he actually pushed it in.
	Oh, fantastic.
	But as the President says, he's picking up, was it Roosevelt, the buck stops here.
	That's Truman.
	Truman.
	Yeah, whatever.
	Let's look forward, people, not backward.
	So yeah, he's using the buck stops here.
	Yeah, which is looking backward.
	It's all my fault.
	Interesting things with those bonuses, because I did watch a lot of that testimony and everything surrounding them, because that's pretty much what mainstream news is bringing you right now.
	Let's all be angry at the bonuses.
	I love this, that the House then passed an emergency bill.
	Which was voted through, so it doesn't mean it's law yet, but to tax these bonuses at 90% rate, which is how much more un-American can you get?
	That's actually what Leno brought up.
	He says, you know, this is kind of bad.
	They target somebody and say, okay, we're writing a law that's going to tax you to death.
	Why don't you just put a death penalty in there?
	Okay, you're getting shot in the morning.
	Not bad.
	I'm getting better.
	And Liddy, the current CEO of AIG, then says, you know, this is like taking the financial industry out back and shooting them in the head.
	And I'm like, yeah, that's what the Obama industry does with people.
	They come out back and we shoot them in the head.
	Never to be heard from again.
	Oh my goodness.
	So yeah, it's pretty clear that this is being kept alive as a huge distraction, so everyone pays attention to that and not the billions of dollars that are being shuttled out the back door.
	Remember we were talking about the DVDs that Obama gave Gordon Brown?
	Yeah, the ones with the wrong code.
	So did that emerge as a story?
	Finally, yeah, and Gadget finally picked it up.
	I'm talking about in England.
	Did it emerge in the papers there?
	Yeah, the Telegraph had the story.
	After they listened to our show, obviously.
	It took them a long time.
	I'm telling you, man, our show is influential.
	We can start little memes and stuff happens, stuff moves.
	Yeah, well, let's start one today.
	So the newspapers are going out of business talking about non-political stories.
	So I'm looking at the next paper that's going to go under.
	It looks like it's going to be either the Chronicle or they're going to give the Chronicle to this group of schlockmeisters that run most of the little local papers around here.
	And just leave it exist as some sort of skeleton operation.
	Will they still be available online?
	I mean, you know a couple people there, so I'm wondering if you have some inside info.
	Nobody knows anything.
	Okay.
	All right.
	So, but...
	You know, these papers, the Chronicle has this thing called the SF Gate.
	And so they have like a, you know, if you're going to do anything online and you're going to be definitive and you're going to lead the way and you're going to be the best there is and all the rest of this BS, they have a restaurant section.
	So you can look up restaurants.
	So I decided to go look up, you know, pizza in Berkeley.
	There's about 40 pizza places.
	It's a college town, right?
	They list one.
	What's up with that?
	I checked San Francisco where there's about 100 pizza places.
	They list 13.
	They leave out lots of them.
	It's a paid search.
	Maybe.
	Yeah.
	Whatever the case is, it's like if you're going to do anything, if you can't even do this right because Yelp can do it, you know, get out of the business.
	I think they should just shut down these places.
	I think the Chronicle should just be shut down.
	It has, you know, they have a few guys doing a few good original news stories, which are worth going there for, but the rest of it's just a horrible, you know, bad back-end restaurants.
	Crap, crummy restaurant reviewer.
	A very bad one.
	And the rest of the paper is just weak.
	There's other things that do it better.
	I mean, it's just even like Craigslist.
	Dude, but even when it comes to news, we're better than them.
	We're offering more insight.
	Yeah, well, insight's one thing, but original reporting is something else.
	We don't do that.
	No, not yet.
	Well, no, not yet.
	But we're going to get to it.
	Now we could.
	I think it'll happen.
	I definitely think it'll happen.
	I noticed there's a lot of original reporting.
	People say, oh, the bloggers, and I don't know anything.
	The bloggers actually, you know, they don't, any one blogger doesn't do a lot of original reporting, like a daily newspaper guy might do two or three stories a week, maybe.
	But there's a lot of stuff on blogs that are one guy on one story.
	And that's the guy who will have information about that one topic, and then that's the guy you've got to pull.
	Yeah, you've got to pull him in.
	That's exactly how it's supposed to work.
	I agree.
	You know, and he'll stay on this subject.
	In a newspaper, they go do a story.
	It's a big scandal.
	And then they go do something else, and the scandal gets forgotten.
	It's gone.
	Yeah, it's over.
	I think the reason that the public has such a short memory is because the newspapers have trained them to have a short memory.
	They don't follow up on these stories.
	Well, not just newspapers, John.
	I mean, most kids...
	Well, it's worse with the broadcast media.
	Yeah, it's much worse.
	My daughter takes the train three days a week now to Guilford to go back to her college because she's going to finish the Guilford College first before she goes on.
	And she gets the free London paper.
	And she reads it because she's really bored in the morning.
	In the morning!
	And she's reading the paper.
	And she comes back with all this pre-processed, cut-down-to-soundbite-size information, which is just amazing how poor it is.
	It's really fucking pathetic.
	Yeah, well, those free papers are the rage here, too.
	We have three or four free newspapers in San Francisco, not to mention the two weeklies.
	I'm talking about free dailies.
	And then there is, I know in Washington, D.C., and New York, they're starting to crop up, and they give them to people as they get on usually the subway or some commuter train.
	And that's what people are reading now, and the competition is going on your Blackberry or your iPhone and reading the news there.
	A lot of people listen to our show and to the stream on their iPhones, and it seems to be kind of replacing some basic iPod usage.
	Well, could be.
	So anyway, the whole thing, the whole way news is going to be transmitted, I'm fearful that it's going to end up as a propaganda in competition with rumors and innuendo and craziness, you know, the screwball stuff.
	So let me ask you a question.
	What is the best auto program in the world, arguably?
	Auto?
	Yeah, about cars.
	The best auto program in the world?
	Yeah, about automobiles.
	For gearheads.
	Oh, the best...
	Oh, you mean like a podcast?
	No, no, just on television.
	Oh, with Top Gear.
	Right, so I'm just making a point that the minute you pull the commercialism part out of it, that's the problem with...
	With almost any media, the minute you are owned by someone, and of course having sponsors, they at least own a portion of the programming, even if it's only for that moment, that's when the truth goes away.
	I think there's a lot to be said for that, even though we will accept any $100,000 contribution for one minute of our time.
	But of course we'll set that up as a disinformation moment.
	Exactly.
	Although I'm getting the sense that we're never going to get that to happen.
	Really, you think?
	Hmm, really?
	Oh, boy.
	So anyway, I just find the whole situation to be somewhat disappointing.
	It's just falling apart in a funny kind of way.
	The newspaper thing is just going to be over and about.
	I mean, the big boys will probably still be standing, but they'll be a shadow of themselves.
	How long do you think it'll take?
	Well, I think after the...
	It depends.
	I mean, if the Chronicle doesn't fold and instead becomes part of this little mini conglomerate of mediocre little papers...
	Which may be a trend.
	That still is going to have a problem long term, I think, as more and more people go online, as the youth of America come up.
	Five years, there won't be another newspaper in business.
	I think we're at multiple tipping points, and with the newspaper business or the news business, it hasn't come quite yet.
	But obviously, newspapers, there's two kinds of newspapers.
	Yeah, I guess with newspapers you have geographic community and then community of interest.
	So USA Today kind of skirts that line between both almost.
	But to print an actual newspaper with pure local news, I just don't think you can actually make it work financially.
	But to have local websites for local geographic communities, which are not from the government, the council, or whatever, that's pretty much where it has to go.
	It has to become more of a local thing, I believe.
	So now this brings us to the dilemma that if everything goes online...
	What happens when an onerous government decides to just cut you off, just kill the Internet, or to just take the whole thing over and drop all these?
	I mean, it seems that that's reminiscent of, you know, people used to talk about in the 30s and 40s where, you know, you'd want to take over some country in South America.
	The first thing you did is you raid and take over the radio station.
	And then you'd be on the air.
	You know, we have taken over.
	we are the new government.
	We're good.
	Pay no attention to the CIA guys.
	Thank you.
	I don't know.
	And what does it do to the Bill of Rights where a free press is protected?
	What constitutes a free press in the Internet age?
	This hasn't been answered to my satisfaction by the courts.
	Well, I hope we get an answer because, you know, cybersecurity is now moving.
	This is interesting, actually, in context.
	The cybersecurity functions of the government are being moved away from Department of Homeland Security and directly into another czar-like position in the White House, which always chills me a bit.
	Well, you know, Homeland Security's got a bunch of these Border Patrol, they've got the Border Protection Agency, they've got some new group of people, they're all over Washington State.
	It's ICE? You have ICE, the Border Protection Agency.
	There's an entire ring around the entire United States, John, of these border patrols.
	You know, up in Washington State, for anyone who ever visits, you should know this.
	The entire state...
	It's extremely diligent about enforcing the speed limit because they don't have, let's put it this way, there's no personal income tax in Washington State and everything is kind of taxed at a low level so they have a different way of making money.
	It's called one state that is one giant speed trap.
	Really?
	Yes.
	Okay.
	That's almost like the United Kingdom.
	That's interesting.
	When you're driving around Washington State, you have to have your...
	And they always change the speed limit.
	It's like 40 miles an hour zone coming up.
	At that point, you better be doing 40.
	So anyway...
	So you're spending most of your time setting your speed control thing on the car, the cruise control, because if it says 55, you put it on 55 and you hit the button so you don't have to worry about varying.
	Yeah, like being 54 and getting a ticket.
	Well, you won't get a ticket for 54.
	Oh, you get a ticket here if you're two miles over the limit?
	No, that's two miles under.
	I'm saying 55, 54.
	I'm sorry, 57, I mean.
	My mistake.
	You could.
	People have bitched about stuff like that.
	But anyway, most car speedometers, by the way, should check them when you get a chance to check yours.
	You'll find that most car speedometers, and I think that car companies do this on purpose for liability problems.
	They under-report.
	They under-report.
	So when you're doing 40, it says 40 on your speedometer, you're doing 39 or 38.
	You can usually see that if you have a GPS. Right.
	It'll tell you how fast you're going.
	So anyway, so meanwhile, so they have, and in the area that I have a place, you have both the city police, the county cops, and the state troopers all competing for the money.
	So they're all in the same area.
	So you could go past, you know, one kind of cop, then there's another kind of cop.
	They're all, you know, they can all ticket.
	Except the city guys can only do it within the city.
	Meanwhile, they have these Border Patrol guys who are a bunch of punk kids that they just hired, you know, that most people perceive as nothing more than a glorified mall cop.
	But they're loaded with, you know...
	With weapons.
	With weapons.
	Yes.
	And they're speeding around.
	They're breaking the speed limit constantly.
	And if you complain to the state troopers about this, because they actually drive quite dangerously.
	And they're going to kill somebody who is going to be killed by one of these boneheads.
	Because they're speeding around all the time, and the red lights are for no...
	We've talked to the state people about this.
	There's nothing they can do.
	We can't pull them over.
	You know, the feds say you're too bad.
	So the federal government is basically encouraging this.
	What's out-and-out law-breaking.
	By these people who are just, you know, they drive black vehicles with lights and sirens all over the place.
	And one trooper told a friend of mine, you know, there's no reason for them ever to turn...
	What's the emergency?
	Unless a donut shop is closing.
	Because there's nothing going on up there.
	So these guys are just a plague.
	And I think if this is going on in any other state, I'd be interested in hearing about it.
	Well, there's an entire organization...
	And I'm just looking for it now.
	I think it's called No Border Patrol or something like that.
	And they actually videotaped these Border Patrol stops.
	Oh, yeah.
	Right, right.
	And the guys, of course, know their rights.
	So the Border Patrol agent will come up and say, I just need to check if you're a U.S. citizen.
	And they have no right to ask that.
	They have no right.
	And these guys who are filming it, sticking the camera in the patrol's face.
	I can probably find it.
	You'll find it.
	It's around.
	But anyway, these border patrol guys apparently have gone to the schools because my daughter...
	Oh, Jesus.
	Oh, don't tell me.
	Oh, please don't tell me this.
	They go into the schools and they brainwash the kids, you know, it's okay to do this, and they tell them all this stuff, this bull.
	And my daughter, I guess, she spewed some of this to my wife, who almost got pushed off the road by one of these guys once, you know, because the guy, she says she's driving along, there's a guy one inch from her bumper, you know, got full speed, red lights and siren honking at her, and then he pulls out like a maniac into the next lane and scoots by her about 90 miles an hour for who knows what reason.
	And so my daughter comes home and says, well, they're just doing their job, and they want people to cooperate, and just cooperate, and you'll be fine.
	And that was, I think she was grounded.
	But the fact that they're being brought into your daughter's school to teach some bullshit is just an outrage, John.
	Yeah, I know.
	Happening in the UK right now, known as Gitmo Nation East, public health mentors enlisted by the National Health Services are now recruiting people to nag their friends about living a healthier lifestyle.
	And it's like an 80 million pound budget for this frickin' program.
	Have you ever seen these websites for kids, particularly the green websites?
	You can sign up and get a little badge and you have to go snoop on your parents and tell them when they're doing non-green things.
	This is an outrage.
	And it's all a part of something much bigger, which is taking place before our very eyes.
	Undeniable that the Obama administration is deeply intent on creating a mandatory volunteer service, which I just love the dichotomy.
	It's like the Ministry of Truth.
	Anyone between, I think it's the ages of 18 and 25, will have to do three months of mandatory volunteer work, which kills me.
	Rahm Emanuel has been preaching this.
	This is all part of the, what's that other website that they have?
	AmericaCares.org or Gov.
	I can't remember what it is.
	Another website.
	They can't keep up with all their own websites.
	Have you been checking Recovery.org?
	Yeah, I have.
	But just let me stick on this for a second.
	Because you have to combine that with another website.
	Another thing Obama has said repeatedly on the campaign trail as well is that he plans to create a civilian military which is just as large and equally well-funded as the military fighting overseas currently.
	Yeah, the brown shirts.
	It's what you would call the brown shirts.
	This very same thing is now happening in the United Kingdom where they're...
	I just got to play this for you.
	Where Jackie Smith, who is our Secretary of Homeland Security, she's now talking about training.
	Just listen to a minute and a half of what this woman is saying.
	So she is the UK version of the Department of Homeland Security.
	Her name is Wacky Jackie.
	Hold on, I've got to click play.
	Go.
	Talk.
	They will see a complete strategy to address counter-terror.
	You know, it's the nature of this work, but quite often in the past it's been the sort of thing that's happened in secret behind closed doors.
	What we're completely clear about is that if we're going to address the threat...
	You notice how she's using the same type of words, we're completely clear about this?
	Let's be clear.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, be clear.
	From terrorism.
	We need to do that alongside the 60,000 people that we're now training up to respond to a terrorist threat in every...
	60,000 people they're training to respond to a terrorist threat.
	From our shopping centers to our hotels.
	We need to do it alongside the 3,000 police officers now working on counter-terror, out and about doing that.
	And we need to do it with international partners.
	This no longer is something you can do behind closed doors and in secret.
	No, see, this is how bold they've become.
	No, fuck you.
	We're just going to do it out in the open.
	Screw you, you idiot slaves.
	Look, we have a whole force of people.
	Your neighbors are spying on you.
	Strokes white pussycat.
	Okay, so let's go to the Dvorak Uncensored blog.
	Anyone out there should do this exercise.
	Okay, let's do this.
	Go to the search engine, and you type in...
	Hold on, I'm still loading the page.
	I've got to get all your Google ads.
	Yeah, well, let me explain what I'm doing here.
	We have these special posting logos for certain thematic stories.
	I'm ready for the search.
	If you know the name of the JPEG, you can search and just find every story that is one of these types of stories.
	And what I'm talking about now is the More Endless Tales from the British Fascist State.
	So, okay.
	So you want to search for Hitler UK, all one word.
	Okay.
	So you drop Hitler UK into the search box and you run into it.
	Oh, okay.
	All right.
	Got it.
	So I want to go over these stories because I think they're fascinating.
	The first one, which is at the top of the page, is the two-year-old that sent...
	It was a social behavior order for what every day is a two-year-old.
	I mean, this is like everyone's up in arms, apparently, about this little kid who's...
	Yeah, I just got to explain the ASBO. Anti-social behavior observation, I think it is.
	And it's like a strike.
	And you get handed one of these, and you get enough strikes, and then you go away.
	Yeah.
	This kid is two.
	Do you know that there's already a curfew throughout most parts of London?
	A 9 p.m.
	curfew for anyone under the age of 16?
	So what was this kid doing?
	Roaming the frickin' streets?
	Give that kid an ass, Bo!
	What did he do?
	He was accused of verbally abusing adult residents and damaging property.
	Isn't that what two-year-olds do?
	Okay, then we go to the next story.
	U.K. law.
	No laughing while driving.
	Motorists stopped by police for laughing while he was driving.
	He was laughing about a joke told by his brother-in-law, and then a traffic officer immediately pulled him over because you must be talking on the phone.
	He said, no, I was just laughing at a joke.
	He didn't believe him.
	And then we go to the next story.
	New law in the UK makes it illegal to take pictures of police.
	I've got to publish this as a continuous link at the bottom of our show notes, just so people can get a little update every day.
	Can you get an RSS feed from just this topic?
	Well, if you look at the top of the URL, that would actually do it.
	Oh, you're right, and it even has an RSS feed.
	Yeah.
	Oh, beautiful.
	Anyway, here, we're going to the next story.
	Couple forced to give grandchildren up for adoption by gay men because they're too old at 46 and 59.
	46 and 59 is too old to have kids.
	Well, they have their own kids, their grandchildren.
	They can't raise their own grandchildren.
	Okay, here we go.
	Next story.
	UK... This is more along the lines of...
	This is what triggered this, by the way.
	UK's new food police.
	Nanny state says you will eat everything on your plate.
	And this is about, you know, making people eat right.
	Householders will be invited by officials offering advice on cooking with leftovers.
	In a government initiative to reduce the amount of food that gets thrown away, home cooks will be told what size proportions to prepare, taught to understand best before dates, and urged to make more use of their freezers.
	The door-to-door campaign, which starts tomorrow, will be funded by the Waste and Resources Action Program, WRAP, a government agency charged with reducing household waste.
	The officials will be called food champions.
	Oh, man.
	Did we get some of those naked vegan pregnant chicks as well?
	Next story.
	Giant plasma TVs face ban in battle to Green Britain, which means they're going to use plasma.
	Now we've done these stories.
	Yeah, okay.
	Well, a lot of them we haven't.
	Police set to step up hacking of home pieces.
	You're depressing me now.
	Entire UK secret police mechanism to be privatized.
	We haven't done this story.
	Which one is this?
	A private firm may track all email and calls.
	The Guardian.
	We didn't get to it, but yeah, it was a couple weeks ago.
	Then we have, you know, this was another one that's kind of interesting.
	The CCTV camera used by social services to monitor couples' bedrooms.
	Yeah, that was about two months ago.
	This goes on.
	The police state is here.
	And so the point is, you can learn a lot by looking at what's happening in the United Kingdom.
	But vice versa, because it's not all in sync.
	It's not kind of rolling all at the same time for a number of reasons.
	But the general agenda...
	It's pretty much the same.
	And it's recruit people, first indoctrinate them, hypnotize people about such issues as climate change in the same soundbite way that we bring you Amy Winehouse news, and then train people to call people out.
	That's part of that whole calling out culture.
	And now we're going to rat on our friends, our neighbors, maybe even our family members, our parents.
	By the way, I just want to mention one more story which happened in September.
	Another ASBO, a boy, faces anti-social behavior indictment for his missing cat poster.
	The boy who put up posters to find his missing cat was ordered to tear them down.
	Jesus.
	Anyway, I love it.
	So anyway, Hitler UK, so it's all one word, look it up in the search box, and you can read all these fascinating stories for yourself.
	And you can even use that.
	And there's a lot more where that came from, by the way.
	Very interesting meeting took place in Russia this past week.
	Between Medvedev, the president of Russia, and check this list out.
	Henry Kissinger, James Baker, Charles Schultz, William Perry, and Sam Nunn, who I didn't know.
	He's still alive?
	I guess.
	He was a defense expert and former U.S. senator.
	Had a meeting with Medvedev.
	Boy, I would have liked to have been a little fly on the wall there, huh?
	What do you think the meeting was about?
	I believe what's taking place is...
	I think there's...
	Okay.
	Yeah, I think America is cozying up to Russia because they're afraid of China.
	So I think...
	And also Russia has been, you know, rearming and being pretty public about it, so they're kind of showing their muscle.
	I think that it feels like the U.S., like the Obama administration, of course, when you see Kissinger, he's totally in there with his buddy Brzezinski, etc., But these are all secretaries of state, right?
	James Baker, Schultz.
	This is huge.
	This is not just a little hunky-dory meeting.
	I guess it's one of these meetings that they probably made some decisions about how they're going to do a phony baloney attack of Georgia, or are they going to be pushed back, or are they going to do this?
	Who knows?
	It's probably working on the script.
	It's a script meeting.
	It was a writer's meeting.
	It's a writer's.
	It's a table read.
	All right.
	Hey, Henry, Henry, can you work on your inflection a little bit?
	Your timing is a little bit off.
	You're getting there.
	Oh, man.
	Well, we'll see.
	But that, you know, unreported.
	That was in Pravda, actually.
	I've gotten into reading.
	How does that stuff get unreported?
	Well, excuse me.
	The president was on Leno.
	What the fuck do you think we're going to talk about?
	We've got to talk about important things, like, man, he totally slammed the Special Olympics, dude!
	That's so wrong!
	Let's debate that!
	So a story just cropped up on the blog with the Endless Tales logo on it from one of our new bloggers, Joe.
	And it's, I have to read this to you.
	Stasi HQ UK. Do you know about this?
	No.
	They should have a picture of this anonymous office building in a business partner.
	Oh yes, I did hear about it.
	Yeah, yeah, go for it, go for it.
	They're monitoring millions of British holidaymakers using a new terror detector database.
	Yeah, you have to register where you're going on holiday.
	Yeah.
	So if you're going to Portugal, you have to register with the government?
	Yep.
	It's interesting you say that, because I'm going to Portugal in a couple weeks on a one-week holiday.
	You have to register with the government to go to Portugal?
	Yes, you do.
	You just can't buy a ticket?
	Well, I did.
	But I think the airlines, as a courtesy, I think the airlines pass that information on to the government.
	I don't think you have to do anything.
	It's a service.
	It's an extra bonus.
	You should be happy.
	You should be happy we don't put a surcharge on your ticket for passing off that information for your security.
	Yeah, you know what?
	That's coming next.
	And to protect the children.
	Of course it's going to come next.
	Children's Protection Act fee.
	Isn't there already a Children's Protection Act fee?
	Fee.
	Fee.com.gov.
	I was going to say something.
	Oh, about Portugal.
	Yeah, Portugal's great.
	Yeah, so we're going to Portugal for a week.
	Yeah, where are you going?
	About 20 minutes from Lisbon.
	Which way?
	Not the...
	I have to look it up on the map.
	We're not near the true Algarve.
	We rented a house, which is kind of in a little village, but it's not on the sea.
	But I learned that Portugal decriminalized all drugs.
	I didn't know that.
	I didn't know it either.
	And it turns out it's been very successful for them in combating drug crime.
	It's gone down significantly.
	They just said, screw it.
	Do whatever you want.
	Take whatever you want.
	Well, this is unpublicized news.
	Yeah, I'm looking for the article.
	Let me see if I can find it here.
	Of course it's unpublicized.
	Yeah.
	I'm aghast.
	No!
	Surely you're not shocked by this.
	Are you looking it up?
	Because I can't seem to find it.
	They have a lot of good wine in Portugal.
	Yes, yes they do.
	Portugal decriminalizes drug use.
	When did they do that?
	I'm looking.
	Looks like...
	I think a couple of years ago.
	This was in July of 2001.
	Shit, I would have been...
	Screw Jamaica!
	I should be calling Portugal!
	What am I doing?
	Now, maybe it wasn't...
	No, it says right here.
	It takes drug use off the charge sheet.
	Addicts treated as a health and social problem.
	This was a 2001 article.
	And here's a May 14, 2009 article, The Success of Decriminalization in Portugal.
	This is a Salon article.
	Of course, nobody reads Salon either, for good reason.
	The Success of Drug Criminalization in Portugal.
	In 2001, Portugal became the only EU member state to decriminalize drugs, a distinction which continues to the present.
	Last year, working with the Cato Institute, I went to that country in order to research the effects of the decriminalization law, which applies to all substances, including cocaine and heroin, and to interview both Portuguese and...
	No wonder nobody's talking about this.
	This is excellent, isn't it?
	So they've done it.
	It's been over eight years.
	It's working fabulously.
	It's working fabulously, so let's...
	Don't talk about it.
	Don't tell anybody!
	Well, the story ran in Salon.
	Well, on the heels of that, from the Austrian profile, I think is the name of the...
	Profil, yeah.
	The world drug trade is so big, it is, quote, the most important of all world agricultural markets, worth over $320 billion.
	UN Office of Drugs and Crime Director Antonio Costa told the Austrian Weekly Profil.
	This is why I say that it's highly unlikely that any form of drugs will be decriminalized.
	Certainly in the United States, probably the largest market for drugs.
	$320 billion.
	That's over half a percent of the world GDP. Yeah.
	Although, I guess not a lot of variety available in Portugal.
	And those guys are probably like, ah shit, that market's shot.
	That's no good.
	And while we're on that, could somebody please point out to me a company that makes lighters with actual lighter fluid included in your purchase?
	What do you mean?
	Aren't most lighters butane?
	Yeah.
	There used to be something called a lighter fluid, which was used as, it was wicked, and it was usually like with a Zippo or a Ronson, and it was a fluid that was largely kerosene.
	Yeah, you misunderstand, and I should explain.
	They seem to give them like a quarter full.
	You buy a new lighter, and of course you would know about this, John, but lots of people who smoke would.
	You buy a new lighter, and then after two days, the fucking thing's empty again.
	Because they keep putting less fluid in.
	Yeah?
	I hate that.
	I'm sure you do, but what are you going to do about it?
	Well, try and work with our audience to find the good lighters.
	And the only one, although it's hard to find them, are the oval Bic lighters.
	Those are the ones that usually last forever.
	And every other lighter you buy is just crap.
	Why don't you just buy that instead of complaining?
	It's not easy to find them.
	It's only one type.
	Buy a case of them.
	I think the butane leaks out through the plastic.
	I think those things are so poorly made that there's little leaks all over them, and I think that's why by the time you get one, they're half empty.
	No, I don't think so.
	I think that's what it is.
	I'm just asking for help here.
	Buy a lighter that you think has nothing in it, put it in a drawer, and leave it in there for one year, and see if there's any juice left at all.
	Okay.
	I'll bet you it's empty.
	Okay.
	In Alberta, they're starting to cap...
	This is the funniest thing when you see these pictures.
	They're starting to cap carbon dioxide.
	It's just so funny to see these huge pipes going into the ground.
	I don't understand how this can be...
	If we buy into the idea that carbon dioxide is deadly...
	Why are we pumping that shit into the earth?
	That makes very little sense to me.
	And that's what cap and trade is, isn't it?
	Isn't that part of it?
	Yeah, it's part of it.
	I think there's an evil doer somewhere in the scheme of things.
	It could be Al Gore.
	He sounds like a robot.
	Trying to kill all vegetation because vegetation requires carbon dioxide to survive.
	I was trying to do something cool, but it didn't work.
	Hmm.
	Anyway, that's all I have to say about it.
	Let me try it now.
	I am Al Gore.
	Oops.
	Maybe we should rehearse the show.
	No, that would be wrong.
	No, no, no, no, no.
	Hold on, here it is.
	Now I've got it.
	I am Al Gore.
	There you go.
	Oh, that's it?
	Well, what would you like Al Gore to say?
	Well, you should have said something.
	I'm Al Gore, and I am a robot, your new master.
	Here comes your ringtone.
	I am Al Gore, and I am a robot, your new master.
	That's good.
	So you just typed that into Twitter, and it does this, right?
	No, well, I just typed it into my computer.
	But yeah, if you Twittered that, then it would actually run on the stream like that.
	Okay.
	Two credit unions seized.
	And this is, I think, a much bigger deal than we think it is.
	What is a credit union, John?
	A credit union is kind of a form of a bank, but it tends to be run privately, usually by a union or a government agency or something like that.
	It's almost like those little utilities companies that are owned by the city rather than the big utilities company.
	Well, the U.S. Central Corporate Federal Credit Union and the Western Corporate Federal Credit Union total combined assets $57 billion taken into conservatorship by federal regulators.
	That's what they should do with AIG. Instead of all this...
	Well, they own 80% of them now.
	I don't know what the deal is.
	This AIG thing is ridiculous.
	Did I say I-A-G earlier?
	Yeah, you said that a couple times.
	Why don't you correct me?
	You can make me look like an idiot.
	I like it when you sound like an idiot.
	Here's a guy who will be shot pretty soon.
	A Russian designer has created a revolutionary car engine.
	Get him out of here!
	Take that fucker out back.
	Two to the head and put the gun in his hand.
	He's calculated that 10,000 of his engines with 600 horsepower capacity could save up to 7.5 million dollars a year in terms of fuel economy.
	It's a really weird looking thing.
	It's probably bull.
	Send me the link.
	Yeah, hold on a second.
	He says, my engine works without any noise.
	It's absolutely harmless to our environment.
	It's the most economic engine ever created, and it can work even without transmission.
	Yeah, right.
	Why be so skeptical?
	Because it sounds like bull.
	Have you ever tried making an engine in your workshop, man?
	What do you know about this?
	Engine design and invention has a few centuries of...
	Yeah, exactly like a hundred years ago, Tesla was coming up with all this amazing stuff, and they burned his shit down, burned his papers, and let him die in poverty.
	The guy who brought us the Niagara Falls power plant.
	They.
	Yes, they.
	They.
	In this case, 74-year-old Russian designer Robert Grigiorians has developed an engine which can make a revolution in the engine industry.
	He's from the Volgograd Agricultural Academy.
	Yeah, right.
	Blah, blah, blah.
	Blah, blah, blah.
	There's no picture.
	There's nothing.
	There's a picture on the right, and you click that, and you can see more pictures.
	Nothing happens.
	There's nothing to click.
	Get yourself a manly browser.
	During President Obama's West Coast Town Hall meeting, he mentioned a new URL, John.
	Uh-oh.
	Which one?
	It's makinghomeaffordable.gov.
	Probably the worst URL I've ever heard of in my name.
	And he said it.
	He said it without stumbling.
	Makinghomeaffordable.gov.
	It probably spelled out on the teleprompter as individual words.
	Makinghomeaffordable.gov.
	And this shows us if we are amongst the 7 to 9 million homeowners who may be able to benefit from making home affordable.
	Would you like to find out if you are eligible, John?
	Well, I can see, I can look up, I'm looking at the website.
	Eligibility, loan, look up, find a counselor.
	All your counselors are going to be big during this administration.
	You can be sure of that.
	We'll start here to get help.
	I've already done the test.
	You basically have to answer yes to all the questions, otherwise you don't get through.
	There's no logic in it.
	So are you the owner of a one-to-four home unit?
	Yes.
	Do you have a loan owned or guaranteed by Fannie Mae or Freddie Mac?
	That's the kicker.
	If you don't have a loan guaranteed by them, then you're off the list.
	Are you current on your mortgage payment?
	I mean, it's like no one...
	If you have a Fannie Mae or Freddie Mac-backed mortgage, we know that most people are not current on their mortgage payments.
	Probably.
	So we can't answer no to that.
	Do you believe that the amount you owe on your first mortgage is about or the...
	You will fail.
	You get fail every single time, but then they have a different...
	So there's basically two paths.
	You have the...
	So if you answer no to one of those questions, then you don't get passed.
	So that's the home affordable refinance, and then it gives you a...
	Sorry, you're not eligible, but then you can go for the home affordable modification.
	And this is the moneymaker.
	This is the one where they will lower your payments, but you wind up paying more for your mortgage because they extend...
	They extend your payment terms by three to five years.
	Okay, so there's something screwy about this site.
	Let me take a couple shots at it.
	For one thing, this doesn't look like it's done by the Obama team.
	It's got makinghomeaffordable.gov sales mark right over the.gov.
	Oh, yeah, SM, I see it, right.
	So there's a sales mark available, and it's got these three home peaks.
	Oh, John, check at the top.
	The hotline, 888-995-HOPE. Right.
	In fact, Hope, if you look in the top line, it says...
	It's trademarked.
	And Hope is trademarked.
	Hope is now trademarked by these people.
	Only if it's all uppercase.
	Yeah, or uppercase.
	It's Hope.
	Maybe it's Homeowner's Hope is trademarked.
	I don't know if it's Homeowner's Hope or Hope.
	There's a diabolical laugh.
	Save that one.
	That's right.
	Because it's outrageous.
	Hope.
	Hope.
	All uppercase is trademarked.
	We're going to get sued, man.
	We're going to get taken out back for this shit.
	When you say it, I'll be shot twice in the head.
	How come there's no About Us link?
	There's eligibility, loan lookup, find a counselor, contact your mortgage servicer, resources, audio and video.
	Oh, dude, you've got to listen.
	It's like a horrible infomercial.
	Oh, dude.
	I'll watch it.
	Well, I'll take some clips from it for next time.
	You don't need any actual clips.
	U.S. Treasury.gov is in partnership with H-U-D.gov.
	He's got a link, and in partnership with the Financial Stability.gov.
	What is that?
	I'm a very honest hardworking person who has always paid bills on time, and I never thought that I'd have a stroke.
	But it happened.
	And I never thought I'd ever be in this situation.
	But it has happened.
	Right now, millions of Americans are having a difficult time making their mortgage payments.
	Doesn't that sound like an infomercial?
	It is.
	And she doesn't sound like she's had much of a stroke.
	No.
	So the financialstability.gov site, which links at the very bottom of that page, site is coming soon.
	On Tuesday, February 10th, Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner outlined a comprehensive plan to restore stability to our financial system.
	In the address, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
	This is the site that has no form...
	Yeah, it's just like an outline.
	It has no background.
	This site is coming soon.
	It's under construction.
	Yeah, where's the little man digging up?
	This is one of those shovel-ready projects, I guess, John.
	A shovel-ready website.
	That's a good one.
	We should get this laugh.
	Because it's real.
	That's the problem.
	I'm looking at this.
	I'm just busting up.
	I can't believe what they're doing.
	They.
	In that infomercial, I did take some notes about it because I watched it.
	And this is a minor pet peeve I have.
	They spelled there with the possessive as T-H-E-R-E in the subtitles.
	Oh, that's funny.
	It just irks me when people do that.
	Well, they don't have any copy editors.
	Well, it's the infomercial guys.
	The same guys who do the ab machine.
	Are now refinancing your mortgage, and you're going to get screwed on it.
	I should have pulled the clip from AIG CEO, where it was a setup.
	Barney Frank actually said, well, I want the names of the people getting these bonuses.
	And then, what's his name?
	Dillard?
	I think it's Dillard.
	He says, let me read you a letter.
	And he reads out these threat letters of people saying, every AIG employee who got a bonus should have, and their families, we should put piano wire around their necks and strangle them to death and then hang them up by their testicles.
	He's like, I don't think it's a good idea to give these names.
	And then Barney Frank is going, well, I'll talk to the security people.
	I'm like, what department is that, Barney?
	And he kept saying it.
	I'm going to talk to the security people, but I think we can do that.
	So now they have 11 names.
	This is just a distraction.
	Totally.
	Now there's some stories out there that say that Santelli Durant was staged.
	We talked about that last week.
	It's exactly what we said.
	it's completely possible that was staged to spark this off, throw Jim Cramer in there, get the president on Leno, get Bernanke on 60 Minutes, everybody start getting really angry about these bonuses and all the other stuff just kinda happens without a noise.
	So I don't normally look at the Twitter feed while we're doing the show, but I did this one.
	Tell Adam the women that listen are all 80s girls still drooling over him from MTV, which, by the way, I don't believe is true.
	I don't think so either, although it is interesting to point out that my wife and I just had a cappuccino here in town and we were walking around.
	And I'm happy to report that not just my hairstyle, but also my clothing is, after 25 years, is back in fashion.
	Yeah, yeah.
	It happened, finally.
	Yeah, well, even a stopped clock is accurate twice a day.
	All the girls are dressed like slutty Madonna clones from the 80s.
	They've got the short skirts, the leggings, lots of chains.
	Mismatched colors.
	And then either kind of skunk hair, blonde and black, or kind of a yellowish blonde.
	It's back in style.
	I'm very, very happy about it.
	If you want to call it style.
	So where this is all going...
	Nice little piece, a little interview with, what's the guy?
	The guy is from the UN financial panel.
	The interview was pretty funny.
	I think you'll enjoy listening to him.
	Hello and welcome to the Reuters 2009 Fund Summit in Luxembourg.
	Did he say fun summit or fun?
	He said fun.
	Whoa, it's a fun summit, everybody!
	Woo, we're having a ball in Luxembourg.
	Hello and welcome to the Reuters 2009 Fund Summit in Luxembourg.
	I'm Ruben Ramirez.
	Yeah.
	Doesn't it sound like he's saying fun?
	Yeah, he's saying fun.
	It's fun!
	It's so fun to talk about money.
	Hello and welcome to the Reuters 2009 Fund Summit in Luxembourg.
	I'm Ruben Ramirez.
	Joining us today is Avinash Persaud, Chairman of Intelligence Capital.
	Whoa, what's Intelligence Capital?
	I don't know.
	Well, he's the chairman.
	Avinash, thank you so much for joining us.
	Thank you.
	The UN Commission of Experts on Financial Reform, of which you are a member...
	By the way, so this is another panel very much like the IPCC, which brought you climate change.
	...set to release a set of recommendations this coming Monday.
	Can you talk a little bit about what those recommendations are likely to include?
	One of our main recommendations is that now is the moment to think seriously about a new global reserve currency.
	Bingo.
	Oh, please.
	Bingo.
	This is your, I can see this coming down Broadway.
	This is it, baby.
	This is where it starts.
	Wait, wait, wait.
	So let me make notes here on the Adam Curry thoughts.
	One, global currency, so forget the Amero.
	Correct.
	Global currency and a global financial police.
	Yes.
	And we also pay our taxes to the, it'll really be bankers, but we'll be paying taxes in the form of carbon credits directly to the bankers.
	That's my script.
	Yeah, I'm never going to make it.
	Well, okay.
	All I'm saying is the UN was very capable of putting out a highly questionable report on what was known as global warming.
	Now, climate change, that has been adopted by...
	Well, that's because of Al Gore.
	Right, so all you need is an Al Gore of the money.
	The charismatic Al Gore has managed to make this happen.
	Who's going to be selling this to anybody?
	I think people like Gordon Brown, people like President Barack Obama.
	He's a stooge.
	Well, how about Obama?
	Obama will sell it when it's time.
	I don't know.
	But I think it'll be too late by then.
	Well, we'll see.
	Okay, we'll just play it out.
	I mean, I don't mind watching this thing unfold.
	Why do you fight me on these things?
	I mean, you can have a difference of opinion, but you give me absolutely...
	You know what?
	Someone pointed out to me in an email, a private email...
	One of your fans.
	No, no.
	He even said, I'm not really a fan.
	But, in all honesty, let me be clear and listen.
	I believe John Dvorak could be a disinformation shill because all he does is say, oh, it's bullshit, oh, here we go again, and you never have any, I'm playing you a clip of a UN guy, hey, not just any guy, he's the head of intellectual capital.
	Whatever he just said.
	And he's saying, hey, it's time for new dineros, baby.
	And then you...
	But you discredit it, but you have nothing to back it up.
	And I have to say...
	No, I'm not discrediting the fact that they're trying to do this.
	And the Russians want to do it, too.
	I mean, there was some commentary recently by Putin...
	Who says that maybe the Russians should be the leaders of this new currency, the world currency.
	We might as well be.
	The EU, by the way, with this one currency.
	It's like making a mess.
	Precisely.
	It's a fantastic experiment.
	Hey, they really screwed up Europe.
	Let's screw up the whole world.
	Come on.
	Yeah, everybody.
	What I'm saying is not that they're going to try to do this or not try to do this.
	What I'm saying is that they're not going to manage it.
	Well, but that's the whole point.
	They don't want to manage it.
	They just want the simplicity of having it so they can continue to make billions and trillions and trillions and pull it out.
	No, what I mean is they're not going to manage to even get that far.
	Yes, they will, John.
	They will because they will find an Al Gore.
	It might even be Al Gore who's going to say, he's going to make a movie and the polar bear is going to be animated.
	If we don't have a global currency, we're going to die.
	This is how gullible we've become as masses.
	Of course they have that power.
	They're out there saying, hey, we're not hiding the fact that we're creating 60,000 people in the UK who are going to spy on you and report on you.
	We're just doing it out in the open because you people are so foolish you just buy it.
	You want to play the rest of the clip or was that all there is?
	No, there's plenty.
	Put it back on.
	Okay.
	A shared reserve currency.
	The Americans complain bitterly about their status of having the world's reserve currency.
	Oh, we're complaining bitterly!
	I hate it that we're the world's reserve currency, John.
	How about you?
	Who is complaining bitterly specifically?
	So this guy's just full of crap is what you're saying.
	No.
	That's what you're saying by playing it.
	No, what I'm saying is, here's how it works.
	You just go out there, you tell some lies, and then you get some charismatic guy to come in and, you know, to basically sell the idea.
	I have it.
	I have who it's going to be.
	Who?
	This would be a switcheroo.
	John McCain.
	Can you see the fractal?
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	I can see the fractal.
	Hmm.
	Okay.
	We'll see if he ever says anything, then we'll know something's up.
	So this guy sounds like it.
	Who is this guy?
	What is his name again?
	Intellectual Capital.
	Never heard of it.
	Go back and who is this?
	Okay, hold on a second.
	I'm Al Gore and I hate being the global reserve currency.
	There you have it.
	Al Gore is out there.
	Hello and welcome to the Reuters 2009 Fund Summit in Luxembourg.
	I'm Ruben Ramirez.
	Joining us today is Avinash Persaud, Chairman of Intelligence Capital.
	Abhinash Persad, Chairman of Intelligence Capital.
	Abhinash Persad had a new global reserve currency, a shared reserve currency.
	The Americans have complained bitterly about their status of having the world's reserve currency.
	We are not, you liar.
	When the rest of the world wants to save, they're forced to have a deficit.
	I think they complain a little bit too much about that.
	But if they're worried about that, the rest of the world aren't very happy about the dollar being the world's reserve currency either.
	So now's the moment to think about new arrangements.
	This guy is totally on...
	Dude, he's reading it.
	He's programmed.
	He's absolutely...
	Just listen to it.
	It's flowing out of it.
	Where we could have a shared global reserve currency.
	All right, get to the...
	And so what are the implications of that?
	I think the principle...
	I haven't seen the whole clip, but how much do you bet he brings in carbon emissions?
	I wouldn't take the bet.
	...is a global imbalance problem.
	That when part of the world wants to save more than it did before, this won't lead to a concentration of assets in one place, but more spread around the world.
	It's good for those people who've got the savings, their assets are diversified, and it's good for those people where the money is flowing.
	Given the current economic environment, the Madoff scandal that we've seen, the investors' lack of confidence in the system, what sort of changes are we likely to see in the regulatory environment?
	I think this crisis is going to have a long-lasting impact on finance, financial regulation, financial institutions, probably going to cast its shadow over the next 50 years.
	50 years?
	Geez.
	In financial regulation we're going to place a lot more emphasis on systemic risks.
	Whilst the public and the politicians like to talk about issues of fraud, actually what really went on was a fundamental failure of domestic regulation and ignoring the economic cycle.
	This was our major error and I think regulators have understood that.
	Right, so now what's going to happen is there's going to be no financial markets left.
	They're just going to be completely dead.
	Or at least not the shadow banking system, but the real banking system.
	Looking at a number of ways in which regulation can be sensitive to the booms as well as the busts.
	Financial hubs like Luxembourg have...
	Nah, I'm bored of them.
	The guy's an idiot.
	I've never heard of him.
	I can't find him on the web.
	Because it would be nice if I could spell his name.
	Let me see if I have a...
	Oh, I might have a link here.
	Yes, I have a...
	Here, here you go.
	Oops.
	Yeah.
	Does it say his name there?
	I don't know.
	Let me see.
	Maybe not.
	Yeah, Persaud.
	P-E-R-S-A-U-D. There you go.
	Well, so, it seems like a couple things are taking place.
	And bear in mind that along with...
	There's also the European Commission to deal with.
	There's a vote scheduled for June for European Commission.
	Now, European Commission...
	That's not like a public vote, I don't think.
	I think those people are just installed...
	And then, of course, we have to elect a new president.
	But this can't happen until the Lisbon Treaty is signed.
	And there's even talk now of moving the Commissioner vote up until the proposed October 2nd referendum in Ireland, which of course is exactly why President Obama was sucking up to the Prime Minister of Ireland.
	Because they need the legal document in hand to completely enslave the Europeans.
	Finding anything related to this joker is pretty unusual.
	I've had to go three pages deep.
	I found something that has to do with Morgan Stanley.
	Morgan Stanley and Citigroup to form an industry-leading wealth management business through joint venture.
	Somehow this guy's into that.
	Well, at least he's in this article.
	I'll look him up later.
	It sounds like a phony.
	I'm reading through that.
	There's an abbreviated version of that Austrian magazine about the drugs director from the UN in the International Herald Tribune.
	This is great.
	He says, in many instances, drug money is currently the only liquid investment capital.
	LAUGHTER The United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime have found evidence that interbank loans were funded by money that originated from drug trade and other illegal activities.
	No kidding.
	So here is more, I wouldn't call it proof, but here is more support for my, I think my very eloquent assertion.
	That the Afghan war is to produce drugs, part of this $320 billion trade, because that money essentially flows through the interbank.
	I guess that's probably kind of a shadow banking system.
	It flows into publicly listed companies, through banks.
	Well, I'm not going to argue the point on the drugs from Afghanistan.
	This guy even says, there are signs that some banks were actually rescued in this way.
	Well, you know, I think your guy down the street's got it right.
	The Afghan store guy.
	Yeah.
	I've got to find out his name.
	I'll ask him next time.
	You've got to use him as a resource.
	Well, let's write up some questions.
	All right.
	Some really good ones.
	That he can kind of go into.
	All right, we'll ask him about the Taliban and, you know, that kind of thing.
	Because I do remember...
	Where's bin Laden?
	He probably knows.
	Where's bin Laden?
	I think I have to record this.
	I don't think it'll be good enough just to tell you what he says.
	I think I'll have to get him on mic.
	Okay, well, get a little H2. The thing I recommend is the Zoom H2 for anyone out there who wants to have a little portable wave recorder.
	It's actually quite nice.
	Four mics.
	It's cheap.
	It's an amazing product.
	And then, of course, we had another navigation issue this past week.
	Yeah, there we go again.
	This is making your theory look better and better.
	My theory being that the Iridium Satellite Network, which is used globally for ship navigation, they have a specific product for it, and that whole place is government-issued these days.
	So now you've got, was it a tanker and a...
	Wasn't it a couple of Navy ships or something?
	Submarine.
	Submarine and a Navy ship.
	How is this possible?
	I mean, it doesn't make any sense.
	Whoops.
	Would you ask that guy to stop calling you every single Sunday show we do?
	Hello?
	I'm doing a punch.
	Goodbye.
	I have a sound file that I save here.
	I don't know what it means.
	I don't know what it is.
	It says Bernanke 60 Minutes.
	Just let me play it.
	Commitments of a trillion dollars, doubling the size of the Fed's balance sheet.
	Is that tax money that the Fed is spending?
	It's not tax money.
	The banks have accounts with the Fed much the same way that you have an account in a commercial bank.
	Oh, this is interesting.
	This is Bernanke in 60 Minutes where he's essentially saying the Federal Reserve is a private group of bankers.
	Of course, no one caught this.
	So to lend to a bank, we simply use the computer to mark up the size of the account that they have with the Fed.
	So it's much more akin, although not exactly the same, but it's much more akin to printing money than it is to borrowing.
	You've been printing money.
	Well, effectively, and we need to do that because our economy is very weak and inflation is very low.
	Yeah.
	I remember him saying that.
	Let's just wrap up the show with this.
	Why do we need someone to raise inflation?
	Well, because you don't want...
	Deflation is the worst thing imaginable.
	Why?
	Well, because it stops all spending.
	Imagine, for example, you want to buy a house, but you know that the house is going to be worth half as much in a year.
	You're not going to buy it.
	Or say you need to buy a new car, but you realize that the prices are going to just keep going down and get it for a lot cheaper if you wait.
	Stop, stop.
	I'm going to stop you for a second.
	Okay.
	Housing market, car market.
	Got it.
	Dead.
	Okay.
	But I'm still going to go buy groceries.
	That's all, though.
	You're not going to buy furniture.
	You're not going to buy any of these goods and services that are going to be cheaper tomorrow.
	So you're just going to keep putting it off and putting it off, and that just drags an economy right down to nothing.
	You want to crank an economy up, you create a hyperinflation.
	You have to buy now because tomorrow it's going to cost twice as much, so you go crazy just in the other direction.
	So you want to have a little bit of inflation, which encourages people to buy because they know they're going to have to spend more if they wait.
	But is that then the definition of a truly free market?
	Well, this market is always, they've always tried to control the market.
	I know, I understand that, because that's what the central banks do.
	But do we, is there any, has anyone ever experimented by doing that without someone manipulating the currency?
	Yeah, before 1900, it was always done, it just did its own thing.
	And it didn't work.
	No, well, to be honest about it, it's worked just as well as it does now.
	Oh, bullshit alert.
	You just said it, to be honest about it.
	Like all the other crap you just told me in the past hour and a half was full of it?
	I don't want your lies now, Dvorak!
	To be honest about it, it seems to me as though the system used to work, but it used to have this boom and bust cycle, they say, was so extreme that it drove people crazy.
	They would like to have a little more control.
	And that's all they bitch about.
	If you listen to this crazy guy that was talking, this guy from intellectual capital, he's going on and on about controlling the boom and bust cycle.
	You listen to Obama on Leno.
	Oh, we've got to control the boom and bust cycle.
	That's what they always say every time there's a boom or a bust.
	But what they're actually doing is they actually create the boom and the bust.
	Well, they keep thinking they can control it.
	So the only thing that the Fed chairman has to do is to equalize the boom and busts.
	That's basically his job.
	Looks like he didn't do a very good job.
	Well, yeah, but this is important information.
	This is really good, John, because people don't understand what this is all about.
	But it's very, very simple, from what I just understood from you, that the Federal Reserve, in...
	At the foundation, its job is, when deflation occurs, to increase inflation, to keep the economy going, and then if too much inflation occurs, to deflate, which I guess would be by...
	How do you do that?
	Is that lowering of interest rates?
	No, you raise interest rates, and that slows everything down.
	And the interest rate thing was supposed to be the regulator, they figured.
	And you crank up the interest rates to slow things down, and you decrease the interest rates to speed things up.
	But they got the interest rates so low now, they're down to almost nothing, and they can't seem to get the thing going.
	And so they have to come up with some other schemes, whether it's buying their own treasury bonds or bills or their treasury...
	But it's still all based on inflation and deflation.
	That's the end of the story.
	Yeah, and you want to have a modest amount of inflation, and that's exactly where we're not.
	Because that modest amount of inflation equals economic growth?
	Yeah, because what happens is you don't want people to go crazy.
	You don't want hyperinflation where you have to spend all your money instantly because it becomes worthless overnight.
	That's no good.
	Kind of like everyone went crazy with the housing bubble.
	A little bit.
	Well, you're right.
	But it's not like real crazy, like in Brazil or in Germany in the 30s, where you know their money was...
	Not yet.
	Not yet.
	No, I know.
	It can happen.
	Okay, so...
	But there's another way to inflate or deflate, and that's by putting money into circulation or taking money out themselves.
	Right.
	Yeah, usually done with the T-bill mechanism.
	Right, but now...
	Okay, it's a fractal, John.
	I've suddenly just figured it out.
	If you took a twig, and you're holding the twig...
	And the twig has some inherent motion, and you're trying to combat that, so it moves up, you move it down, and then when you move it down, it moves up again, and you push it back down.
	The end of that twig is going to be flying up and down like nobody's business, like you're whipping a fishing rod around, and eventually that just snaps.
	So I don't think it can work ever.
	It seems like physically impossible almost.
	Does that make sense?
	No.
	But...
	In the morning!
	That, ladies and gentlemen, is an official buzzkill moment.
	And now, back to real news.
	Jade Goody died this morning.
	The guy, the record store guy?
	No, the cervical cancer big brother candidate.
	It's the top of the news all over the United Kingdom.
	Gordon Brown even took a moment for a tribute to her.
	He can't say anything about people who are living on the streets.
	But he can take a moment to...
	And of course, there's a link in the show notes for today's program.
	All the linkages.
	They're jumping on it now.
	Boom!
	The body's not even cold yet.
	You gotta get your shot.
	Don't be like Jade.
	Oh, she died of cervical cancer?
	Yeah.
	Oh, that's right.
	This is a story that's been developing over there.
	Yes.
	Yeah, and it's all part of a scheme.
	Maybe she's not even dead.
	I hate to say that.
	That's horrible.
	No, she looked like she was really dying, John.
	Okay, well, I'm sorry for being tasteless.
	No, I know what you mean.
	But at the end of the day, you have to be honest...
	Unlike everything else we say on this show, it's totally possible.
	It's possible.
	I still think that guy from MCI was, or the Enron guy, still floating around.
	Oh, Ken Lay?
	Yeah, no, I'm there with you.
	Well, we're still keeping our eye on Madoff, you know.
	You never know what's going to happen with him.
	Yeah, the thing about him, though, he's 70, and he must be under some stress, I would think.
	Patricia had a 78-year-old guy tap-dancing on her show.
	Oh.
	It was great.
	No, he was, like, really, really good.
	Hey, we're going to do the show at a different time next week.
	And by the way, I want everyone to go to Dvorak.org slash NA and please contribute to the show.
	We need some...
	Oh, we haven't talked about the library winery at all.
	Shame on us.
	Well, you know, if some people complain, we're doing it too much.
	But I think it's something, Dvorak.org slash NA, you know, you can contribute.
	We got a lot of these $6.60.
	Nice.
	If somebody wants to get a lot of publicity for themselves, we'll give them a send-off if they do $666.
	I don't know why everyone said they want some Mark of the Beast, but it can happen.
	Noagendalibrary.com or Dvorak.org slash NA. Right.
	It would be appreciated.
	And we'll have a call-out for people who give us $50 or $100 in the next week or two.
	And if you can't contribute to monetary funds, and we're only asking for two bucks a month on a donation subscription, if you can't contribute, then just tell someone to listen to the show.
	That's fine, too.
	Yeah, give them a copy.
	Make a copy for them.
	Make a Burnage CD. CD, yeah, that's a good idea.
	That's a good idea.
	Please.
	And use pieces from our show.
	You have under Creative Commons, I guess, as long as it's non-commercial.
	I don't care.
	Well, actually, I don't give a shit either.
	Let it be commercial.
	Please, go make some money off of this show, would you?
	That's a good idea.
	And seriously, the first person who creates an iPhone app, you're going to make at least a thousand bucks.
	I don't know if that's incentive enough, but you're going to make at least a thousand bucks.
	I guarantee you.
	If you sell it for 99 cents, there's at least a thousand people who listen to this show with an iPhone that will want it.
	The convenience of having it all in one.
	Yeah, sounds like a winner.
	Alright, so we're done.
	We're going to do the show a different time next week.
	What's the time?
	And how come I didn't receive the memo?
	Do you want to do Wednesday night when you could get Thursday morning?
	I mean, that would work.
	Oh, that's right.
	Oh, I'm sorry.
	Do you have a conflict on Thursday or is it just mine?
	Well, no, I have a conflict of Wednesday morning because they have the meeting usually.
	And I mean, I could do Wednesday night, which would be...
	Well, how about Wednesday evening?
	Yeah, that's what I mean.
	Yeah, okay.
	So then we'll do it after...
	Can you just go back home after the meeting?
	No, I have to do Cranky Geeks.
	Oh, okay.
	What time will you actually be done then?
	I wouldn't get home until 3.
	You know what?
	Just pay attention to our tweets, and you'll see when the show is on.
	But it won't be Thursday.
	Not Thursday morning.
	Somehow we're going to get another show done.
	Maybe I could do it after that whole thing on Thursday.
	Although we can do a clip show.
	No.
	No.
	Don't say Evergreen either.
	He's Buzzkill.
	I'm Crackpot.
	And I'm Adam Curry here in southwest London in the Crackpot Command Center in Gitmo Nation East.
	And the Buzzkill Bunker is John C. Dvorak, located here in northern Silicon Valley.

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