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Jan. 17, 2009 - No Agenda

01:50:09

66: Throwin' The "Oh"

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Time	Text
	It's time once again for a unique global perspective from the show that asks not what you can do for your country, but what your government is doing to you and other culinary fun facts.
	Throw in the O from Gitmo Nation East in Southwest London.
	I'm Adam Curry.
	I'm John C. Dvork here in Gitmo Nation West, Northwest by Northwest in Silicon Valley North or wherever.
	Somewhere over there on the West Coast.
	We used to have wrestling in the Bay Area before the WWF became WWE, before they existed.
	And there used to be this one guy that was one of these traveling wrestlers.
	I guess they went to all these various little areas, and it was always from parts unknown.
	Yeah, from parts unknown.
	Wait, wasn't that something on the early Tonight Show?
	Didn't they say that as well?
	From parts unknown?
	Maybe.
	Maybe even on the radio.
	Yeah.
	I think it wasn't Ray Stevens.
	It was one of these other guys who was always like some sort of weird champion.
	And he always came from parts unknown.
	Ray Stevens actually was...
	I'm sorry.
	Go ahead, Ray Stevens.
	Ray Stevens was this blonde-haired wrestler that was supposedly...
	He was the world champ or something.
	And he was supposedly from Reno, even though he lived in Hayward, California.
	You could see him driving around once in a while.
	He had a big Cadillac.
	This is when the wrestlers didn't have these extravagant outfits that just had kind of like wife-beater wrestling suits on?
	Yeah, or just whatever the trunks were.
	But it wasn't as elaborate.
	It wasn't as much show business.
	It was still fake, but it wasn't done quite this way.
	I'm hearing myself.
	Yeah, I'm sorry.
	That was my fault.
	You shouldn't be hearing yourself now.
	So anyway, Stevens was the master of climbing up to the top rope.
	Oh, and doing the big slam.
	Flying down.
	Yeah, right.
	Superfly!
	Superfly!
	When I was in college, that's what we always were waiting for, because all we had was Superstation WTBS. Through a terrestrial reception, like a coat hanger in West Virginia, mind you.
	And we'd always be waiting for the wrestling.
	It'd be super fly.
	Oh, shit!
	Oh, no!
	He's going to do the super fly!
	We lived for very little.
	There was a couple of these guys.
	Yeah, apparently.
	There was also a guy that was...
	There was always an Arab that was a bad guy.
	The Sheik was doing that.
	You're right.
	There was always a...
	It was starting back then.
	There was always a horrible Arab.
	Ha!
	And he always cheated.
	Oh, wait a minute.
	I have something for you.
	Wait a minute.
	Okay, here we go.
	Speaking of Arabs.
	I have a quiz, John.
	You ready?
	Go.
	Okay.
	The quiz is loading.
	One second.
	Okay, who made the following remark?
	Hold on.
	The following remark.
	Obviously, he will influence the president to be pro-Israel.
	Why wouldn't he be?
	What is he, an Arab?
	He's not going to clean the floors of the White House.
	Who was that who was quoted saying this in the Israeli Marif Daily?
	Who was quoted as saying it?
	I mean, or who are they talking about?
	Yes, who said that?
	Who made that quote?
	I'll give you the quote again, if you'd like to hear it, John, for Double Jeopardy.
	Obviously, he will influence the president to be pro-Israel.
	Why wouldn't he be?
	What is he, an Arab?
	He's not going to clean the floors of the White House.
	Um, let's see, who would that be?
	Pat Buchanan.
	No, that is Benjamin Emanuel, father of Rahm Emanuel.
	You think that's a little racist, perhaps?
	It's pretty funny.
	It's outrageous is what it is.
	So anyway, so the, well, Rahm Emanuel's a character for sure.
	I hate to get in his way.
	So we had the sheik, the Arab.
	The Arab was the sheik, and he had, I think he was one of two or three guys who had this, there's a lot of these guys that weren't that competent.
	I mean, until much, many years later, where you had a wrestler like Ric Flair, who in his younger days was, you know, he was in a, he was in a, I remember all these names, John.
	Were you like a real fan?
	Were you into it?
	No.
	But anyway, how could you forget some of these guys?
	But anyway, Ric Flair was interesting because he was never in the WWE or F as it was once referred to.
	He was in the competitive conference or whatever you want to call it or show.
	But he was one of the most big...
	I remember reading some wrestling forums once, and they kept talking about this guy.
	I never saw him.
	Then when I finally saw him, I said, oh, my God.
	He was like an acrobat in his heyday.
	He would fly around and do all kinds of weird holds and spin around and just jump into the air, grab a guy by his neck with his legs and flip around in some funny way and get the guy in some crazy hold and then break his spirit.
	Anyway.
	And what really happened is then the entrances started to be the whole thing, right?
	And the theme tunes and the chicks and the big explosions.
	I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that a lot of these guys can't do that kind of thing.
	Because the one thing, you can't do it if you're over so pumped up and so big.
	You're not very bendable.
	Well, you're not better, but you're also too heavy, and you can really hurt yourself if you did some of the stuff.
	I'm sure Ric Flair hurt himself a lot, too, but he wasn't a big, fat guy.
	But anyway, I think in the early days, there was always a few guys that were talented, actually could do athletic stuff, but most of them weren't, and so they had this supposed hold, which I suppose could be real, called the claw.
	And I think it was, I think the Sheik and a couple of these other guys had it.
	And what they do is they couldn't really wrestle.
	They grab the guy in the stomach with their big hand.
	Oh, they've got him in the claw.
	Oh no, he's in the claw.
	It's all over now, sports fans.
	This guy would just be squeezing his gut.
	I met Hulk Hogan.
	I told you I worked with him.
	Oh yeah?
	Yeah, on ABC's Circus of the Stars.
	I'm still trying to find video of that because that was fun.
	Hogan was the guy I think that actually made...
	Oh yeah, he was the first mega global superstar in the arena.
	And I never saw him as much of a wrestler either.
	I mean, his whole gimmick was that he was kind of meaty.
	He could run back and forth and bounce off the ropes.
	Well, he was the good guy, right?
	He was fighting...
	He was for all you Hulkamaniacs, all you little kids out there.
	You know, the Hulk is for good.
	Yeah, he was.
	But he was an evil character for a short time, too, because they always have to do that to these guys.
	You've got to switch around.
	Yeah.
	But anyway, so he wasn't very...
	I didn't think he was much of a wrestler, but he had...
	John, you can't say these things seriously.
	I don't think he was much of a wrestler.
	No, John, no.
	Uh-huh.
	No kidding.
	No, when I say that, I mean that in terms of his ability to do all these crazy things in the ring, even though they're orchestrated, I didn't think he had a good variety.
	That's what I mean.
	But his whole act, I think, was a throwback to something they don't even do anymore.
	In the early days of wrestling, before it became highly commercialized, and I'm always wondering why I don't see this at all, You'd see the same scenario go as follows.
	You'd have a good guy and a bad guy.
	And they'd go back and forth and back and forth.
	And the good guys start to win.
	And then he'd get the bad guy where he's just going to beat him.
	And the bad guy's going to lose.
	And the bad guy would get on his hands and knees and beg for mercy.
	Yeah.
	He'd beg and beg and beg and beg.
	And the good guy would say, well, okay.
	And then he'd sucker punch him.
	Sucker punch him right in the gut.
	It sounds a lot like the early podcasting community, actually.
	So anyway, so what Hogan, you know, he kind of evolved that into something kind of different.
	There was never the begging thing because he was always the good guy, but he had to somehow turn into something else.
	And so what he did, and he did, of course, he did it every time.
	It was ridiculous.
	The guy, whoever he was wrestling would be beating him.
	You know, and then he'd be beating him bad, and he'd be beating him worse and worse and worse, and then he'd get the guy and he'd do something to Hogan, or he'd bang him over the head with a chair.
	He'd do something that would make Hogan snap.
	The folding chairs are always good, yeah.
	Yeah, and so Hogan would, like, he'd, like, you could see it, you know, supposedly.
	He has snapped into a different person and he's gone crazy.
	And so then he ripped off his shirt and he would be shaken and then the guy would come up and keep doing what he was doing earlier, which is pounding him.
	But it wouldn't budge him.
	Hogan wouldn't budge because now he's changed.
	He's morphed.
	And so into Hulk Hogan, get the Hulk thing was kind of a reference to the comic book.
	And so the guy would be pounding him, pounding him, pounding him, and then Hogan would do nothing but just stare at him and look mean, and the guy would freak, and then Hogan would go after him and then just brutalize him, and then he'd win the match.
	You know, that was never as interesting or as dramatic as the guy begging for mercy and then sucker-punching the guy as soon as he got mercy.
	It was just, you know, that...
	But, you know, that scam or that theater, I should say, has now spawned three generations.
	My little nephews, you know, my nephew is nine, ten years old.
	And up until two years ago, it's like, you know, I could not be a bigger hero by showing up whenever I saw him with something from The Rock.
	You know, if I had a Rock t-shirt or the Rock, whatever it was, you know, then I was the hero.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, that's another character that kind of, you know, he didn't stay around too long because he had other things to do.
	Well, Jesse Ventura went on to an interesting career in politics.
	Yeah, but he never really fully left the sport.
	In fact, even when he was the governor, he did some sportscasting for the WWE guy.
	What, McMahon?
	McMahon has a weird ego.
	If you research him, he's the son of an old wrestling promoter from way back when, and he's the one who's kind of modernized the sport.
	But then he got a hair up his ass about the fact he could outdo the NFL, so he came up with this extreme football, the XFL. And the selling point was it was going to be, you know, the football players are all going to be, it's going to be similar to the wrestling.
	It's going to be choreographed in some way.
	There's going to be a lot of hot cheerleaders and the football players are going to get paid a fixed salary.
	Oh, right.
	That'll fly.
	That's what I was thinking.
	I'm thinking, what is this guy, crazy?
	So he's going to have, you know, he's going to end it.
	I don't know what he was thinking.
	So the best players they could get were all crummy.
	And, you know, they had us, I think they had a team in the Bay Area.
	And, you know, it's one of these things that I just, you know, I saw it coming, I saw it go, and I never thought to buy some XFL football hats or a shirt or something.
	Oh, and of course they're collector's items now, right?
	Yeah, absolutely.
	I mean, it was a collector's item from the get-go.
	Are you just one big eBay at your house?
	Is everything just stacked up in boxes of cool shit?
	No, that's the point.
	I don't get it.
	When some of these things come by, I don't take action.
	No, I don't have a lot.
	I don't do any eBay stuff.
	No, no.
	I think that you'd have so much memorabilia that you are like eBay.
	Oh, oh, I got a lot of junk.
	There you go, junk, yeah!
	There you go, junk.
	I got a lot of junk.
	That's what I meant.
	But anyway, so that thing was a fiasco, but Jesse Ventura was one of the announcers.
	On the thing, and he got himself into huge trouble with the media in Minnesota because he was still the governor, and he was going on about media.
	He was having to act like the phony announcers that they have on these things.
	So he had to have this tough voice, and he had to talk about the puke media and how they didn't think much of their football league, and they were a bunch of pukes.
	Oh, really?
	Yeah, it went on and on.
	And so when he went back to Minnesota, it was like, whoops.
	You know, they were just giving it to him.
	And so he actually, I think, made his life pretty miserable.
	It was kind of stupid.
	He could never make up his mind what he wanted to do.
	I mean, he actually had a lot of potential as a politician, but I don't think he had it in him.
	Well, people seem to be pretty happy with him, with the job he did as a politician.
	Oh, I don't know.
	If you talk to people from Minnesota, I don't think they're that jacked up about it.
	But now they put in Franken.
	I mean, obviously Minnesota's our crackpot state.
	Is he finally in now?
	I mean, is it official?
	Is the race over?
	Or is it still counting?
	There's a suit going on, but I think he's going to win it.
	It's Inauguration Weekend, John.
	Yeah, I heard that.
	Who's getting in?
	Well, I'm practicing throwing the O. Have you seen Mevio today for the weekend?
	No, I haven't yet.
	Fire it up, man.
	While we're talking, just go take a look at it.
	Did you throw the O? Oh, I'm claiming the whole thing.
	I'm throwing the O left and right.
	Good.
	John sent me an image Friday, I think, while we're having some kind of meeting.
	That's when we're always on Skype sending each other silly stories and pictures.
	It's called the back channel.
	Yeah, it is.
	Yeah, there you go.
	See, I'm throwing the O, right?
	You like it?
	Yeah, you kind of made it look like a...
	Well, wait a minute.
	Go to the end.
	Or no, wait, in the beginning.
	It's right in the first segment.
	Yes, right at the beginning, but it's more of a square that you're making.
	You didn't make it a perfect O. Well, no, wait a minute.
	I'd do it again.
	That was just kind of the start.
	It looks more like an onion.
	I'm throwing the onion, everybody.
	So this is the new Obama salute, which consists of making an O with your hands and holding that above your head.
	Yeah, I'm totally convinced this is going to take off.
	That's why I immediately started the wave, man.
	Yeah.
	I did like a 20-minute interview with Maggie on Daily Source Code yesterday.
	Oh.
	It was fantastic.
	Oh, yeah.
	Fantastic.
	Well, I first saw that O thing on an obscure blog, and somebody was grossed out by it, which is that image that I sent you.
	But as soon as I saw it, I said, I could see this catching on.
	Very similar to it.
	There you go again.
	Your O is not O-ish enough.
	Well, you don't think I actually want to do the seek O salute.
	I mean, I'm just trying to bring it to everyone's attention.
	Yeah, well, you did that.
	That's good.
	That's my point.
	But anyway, I think it would be cool if the, well, in some surreal sense, it would be cool if people, you know, at the Obama rally with at least two or three million people that are going to be at this thing, not seeing anything except the giant screens, which will be all over the place, I'm sure, if they started doing it.
	So everyone was like, oh, oh, kind of like Queen, Radio Google, Radio Gaga.
	Throw me the owner.
	Yeah!
	And I think that'd be cool if they were doing that.
	Don't you think?
	I think it's going to look very cool in 40 years from now when people are researching the great rise of...
	You know, but we also would be good, I think...
	Of the Fourth Reich.
	I think Obama, in fact, should, when they have these military things...
	He should reintroduce the goose step.
	I don't think...
	He would look good doing it, wouldn't he?
	But he could do a little twist to it, like, you know, a little Beyonce, like, uh-uh-uh, goose step, uh-uh-uh, goose step.
	I think if you had a military group going by with doing the goose step, goose step, goose step, goose step, and then they would all throw the O on, bam, just bam, they'd throw the O and then they'd go back to the goose step, I think would be extremely photogenic.
	Oh, you're tripping me out.
	Don't you think it would be cool?
	Yes!
	I think it's frightening, but yeah, it would be cool.
	It would fit right in line with the expectations, wouldn't it now?
	Yeah, for us, anyway.
	Oh my goodness.
	For us and our crazy audience that thinks that...
	Who, by the way, we love dearly.
	Love you dearly, audience.
	Yeah, in fact, if you could get more of your ilk to listen to the show, then we're...
	Yeah, we'd love you even more.
	So, I estimate I saw...
	It's hard to estimate, but at least 20,000 people in London today.
	And I'm looking at bbcnews.com at the homepage.
	Obama begins historic rail trip.
	Missing girl and man seen on CCTV. The secret below Grand Central Station.
	Funny, there's nothing about all these people who are demonstrating in the Capitol.
	So you have a big demonstration going on?
	Or was that today?
	Yeah, that was today.
	It was interesting.
	I finally found some websites that are kind of organizing these demonstrations.
	And so they had an announcement for today, assembling at Trafalgar Square, which is, oh man, 10 minutes from here.
	So I took the kids up to go take a look.
	But it seemed like a lot of people were really talking about the demonstration that's coming next week, on the 24th, which is interesting because the demonstration is going to start at the broadcast house, that is, the BBC, People are apparently now really pissed off about the either one-sided or complete lack of reporting on the conflict in Gaza.
	Is this organized by that communist group, the International Answer, or any of these people, the Workers' Party?
	Who's doing this?
	Who's behind it?
	Yeah, I have the...
	Hold on a second.
	Generally speaking, these kinds of things aren't even organized by people who are actually interested in what they're trying to get the protesters to bitch about.
	Well, I do like the fact that they're protesting the BBC. I think that by itself is pretty cool.
	Let me see if I can find...
	I had the link somewhere.
	Stop War.
	This is it.
	Hold on.
	Who's organizing?
	GlobalDayofAction.org.
	Yeah, bullshit.
	So there's probably these same guys.
	They have a link.
	They actually have a pretty good online...
	They're pretty well organized.
	They're organized.
	No, they have a really good...
	I actually tracked most of their sites down once years ago when they were in San Francisco doing it with that little sign that said, Answer, A.N.S.D. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	And that thing is like, I kept seeing it, I said, this is odd.
	And it turned out to be the World Workers' Party, it's a front, which is an out-and-out communist organization, old style, old school.
	And they had a slew of sites that linked to other sites, and so you could find all these various sites, but they always had a drop box for giving donations, and the drop box would always be traced back, two steps back to the World Workers' Party.
	Well, here we go.
	This is the Stop the War Coalition.
	Does that sound familiar?
	The Stop the War Coalition was formed on September 21, 2001 at a public meeting of over 2,000 people in London.
	The platform statement above was ratified at public meetings.
	I'm sure if you track that back two or three steps, you're going to find these same people.
	Okay.
	You're going to find, you know, Wesley Clark.
	He's going to be somehow involved.
	Officers.
	Let's see the officers.
	Andrew Murray.
	Lindsay German.
	Robin Best.
	Steve Bell.
	Andrew Bergen.
	Communication Workers Union.
	Yeah.
	Oh, yeah.
	Okay.
	Here we go.
	Interesting.
	The STWC Muslim Network.
	Iraqi Democrats Against Occupation.
	University and Colleges Union.
	Media Workers Against the War.
	They're all the same.
	Pole Dancers, Anonymous.
	Oh, dude, I've got to tell you this story.
	So I had to go to Guilford last night to drop off a couple things and pick some stuff up, including Christina's car, which I had conveniently parked in the lot behind my buddy Michelle Harper's club, you know, the pole dancing club.
	I got ten parking tickets.
	So I took Dexter with me.
	Why did you get 10 parking tickets?
	Well, because I parked it there illegally for two weeks.
	That's two times five working days, and I got a ticket for every day.
	Why was it illegal?
	I thought it was your buddy's place.
	It was a parking lot.
	No, it's just a place I know I can park.
	It's not his.
	I mean, it's right behind his place.
	The council owns it.
	So I took Dexter with me.
	So that he could drive Christina's car back, back into the city.
	And my buddy Michelle had just come back from Thailand, so I called him up.
	I said, hey man, are you in the club?
	He said, yeah, come on by.
	He said, I got Dexter with me.
	And he's 19.
	I don't worry about it.
	It's no problem.
	So I took Dexter, 19, in for his first pole dance, for his first private lap dance.
	And I got him two girls to do a lesbian show for him.
	You should have seen his face.
	It was the cutest thing ever.
	And he comes out from the private booth, right, with these two girls.
	And there was no one in the club.
	It was us, right?
	Because it was early.
	It was like 10 o'clock.
	So it's us and 10 girls around us.
	And they're all like, oh, he's so cute.
	Was it his first time?
	And Dexter does like, well, in this country, yes.
	Oh, man.
	It's so funny.
	What did your daughter say to that?
	Well, that obviously was part of the mission, was to piss off my daughter, put her on edge a little bit, let her know that we're still men.
	No, she was cool.
	I came back and I said to Patricia, I said, let's see what he tells her.
	And so this morning, Christina says, oh, well, Dexter told me about the lap dance.
	I said, oh, yeah?
	What did he say?
	Oh, that it wasn't all that naked.
	Dude, they're like completely naked spread eagle.
	And I said, did he mention it was two girls?
	No, he didn't mention that.
	Like, we're having so much fun with this.
	It's so mean.
	What a dirty trick.
	No, it's great.
	I've got something over him now.
	Forever.
	He's indebted to me.
	Yeah, I guess.
	So, last night they had, you know, there's a, I don't know if you watched Battlestar Galactica.
	No, not really.
	Good.
	Before you say anything, and I hate to tell, I know a lot of people watch this show, I think it's one of the most dreadful science fiction things ever put on.
	I thought it was bad the first time it was on the air years ago when they had the Klan from Bonanza running the group, and then it...
	When they restarted the show a few years ago, I watched the first episode because it was going to be a big deal, and I wrote a scathing piece on it.
	I should probably find it and blog it.
	I remember that.
	This is a couple of years back, isn't it?
	It was a number of years back.
	Yeah, I think I remember that.
	It was so horrible that I just said, this is bad.
	I would maybe tune in once in a while just to see the hot blonde.
	There was some invisible blonde who played by, I can't remember her name, I should remember it, but I can't, actress, who just really looks great on camera.
	She'd be in some guy's brain and she'd come out and she'd torment him.
	That was kind of funny.
	But I couldn't stand the stories.
	They were slow-moving.
	They were stupid.
	So one of my bloggers, one of my editors, apparently blogged up that it was going to be the last season.
	I thought it was going to be the last episode last night.
	It turns out that would be the last of many last episodes.
	And what happened, of course, they found Earth, and it was blown to smithereens, and they were all disappointed.
	It was post-Obama, clearly.
	Yeah, absolutely.
	So...
	And they said it all happened 2,000 years earlier.
	And meanwhile, so I turn the thing on and figure out maybe this is worth watching.
	So I start watching.
	Nothing comes of the whole episode except the stupidity of the show.
	Maybe somebody can explain this to me.
	But one of the characters in the story who represents, I guess, the government or something within the group of these stupid ships...
	He's standing there wearing a suit and tie.
	He's wearing an Armani suit with an Armani white shirt and a tie that, from the looks of the width, is from two or three seasons ago.
	When it was probably shot.
	Yeah, right.
	About 2005.
	I'm looking at this going...
	What the hell?
	Who's doing this show that they would have some guy in a suit and tie, which apparently would have been from 2,000 years earlier by the timeline, and he's wearing a suit and tie like it's normal, and nobody's saying anything to him.
	And I'm thinking, why is the guy in a suit and tie?
	Why does anybody have a tie in the show?
	A tie, yeah.
	Particularly, what is the year that this...
	Supposedly...
	Well, I guess, I don't know, 2200 or something like that.
	I have no idea, but I guess it's something like that.
	They're so functional ties, you know?
	They make so much sense.
	It's just a ridiculous, you know, it's essentially a phallic adornment that traces back to various, you know, movements within the fashion industry over time.
	But anyway, so right away I'm irked.
	And then I try to watch the story, which has got all kinds of crappy background music, so no matter what anybody does, they're having a hit or an orchestra hit, or they've got some horrible music or something, some crazy sounds to make it...
	Creepier than it is.
	And you don't know now, at this point in the story, you don't know who the Cylons are because they've all morphed into human look-alikes.
	And now that they've discovered the 13th Tribe is apparently Cylons and maybe Weir Cylons, which is where I think this is headed, by the way, which is going to be quite annoying.
	But I'm not going to watch it anymore.
	I've had it.
	I can't stand the show, and I don't have much respect for people who think it's a good show.
	It's extremely slow-moving with all these dramatic BS... It's just terrible.
	Are you practicing this rant for a twit tomorrow?
	Because that's where you're going to piss off the most people.
	I don't think people really care.
	Yeah, maybe I am practicing because I can bring it up again.
	Because I know there's a bunch of...
	You just want to piss some nerds off.
	That's what you're into, man.
	It's a good show.
	It's a good show.
	You love pissing off nerds.
	You sure do.
	She's really pretty.
	Hey, is it just me, John?
	Or whenever I hear someone say stimulus package, does that make you laugh?
	Because I've had a stimulus package for many, many years.
	And I'd like to show it to you!
	Bye-bye!
	So while I was watching this television last night, I saw something that made my heart stop.
	And I figure it's probably somebody's either coming with an Adobe plug-in or something to create.
	CBS had one.
	They had the spot art for an upcoming show.
	Next on CBS. And the art...
	Showing the characters, there's three or four characters, was done in exactly that Obama style with the cream, blue, and red photos that have been turned into the poster that says Hope and whatever.
	That cream, blue, and red.
	Sorry, I just came to a screeching halt.
	You know what I'm talking about?
	Yes, of course I know what you're talking about.
	Why are the networks now using this?
	This is basically a callback to Obama.
	Well, of course.
	They're getting into it.
	Everyone's trying to do something to attract viewers and make money out of it.
	I thought it was pandering.
	I don't think it's pandering.
	No, no, I disagree with you.
	It's not pandering.
	You know how media works.
	We're even doing it.
	We're doing, what are we doing?
	Inauguration for change.
	Wait a minute.
	Inauguration for change.
	If anybody out there knows what this plug-in is or what they're doing to get this effect, because I doubt if it's being done by hand.
	I'm sure somebody's come up with a quick way of doing it.
	Send me a link.
	What kind of plug-in do you expect this is, though?
	It's something where you can just send, or it could be like a series of one of those recordings that you can put into Photoshop.
	It's somewhere you take a photo, and you push the button, and then boom, it turns into the blue, cream, and red posterized.
	Yeah, the style.
	I can see how you can do it with...
	It's probably something you can drop right into Apple Photo Booth as well.
	You know what I mean?
	Maybe.
	Yeah, maybe.
	Could be illustrated too, I'm not sure.
	So, I kept my notes from last week.
	Okay, we might as well follow yours because you never are interested in my topics.
	Yeah, okay.
	So, let's start with...
	Cocksucker.
	You know, after I'm done with my three notes...
	Yeah, then we can get to mine, okay.
	Okay.
	Well, I actually do some preparation for the show.
	I have some heart.
	So, the things we forgot to talk about last week was that there was something about German measles, apparently.
	Yeah, they were claiming an epidemic of German measles in Britain.
	I don't even have those notes anymore.
	Yeah, it's like 3,000 people have the measles and they're claiming an epidemic.
	It's just another way of forcing people to take vaccinations.
	So they can inject us with nanotechnology to be tracked.
	Okay.
	Think about it, dude.
	This nanotechnology stuff is for real.
	Okay, so there's a website a guy just sent me.
	It's in the vaccinations.
	You see?
	Yeah, okay.
	Michelle...
	Go ahead, man.
	Go get your flu shot.
	You've got to get another one, John.
	I've already got my flu shot.
	There's a website called...
	You need an upgrade.
	Obamaicon.me.
	And apparently you can push your pictures right through it and get that effect.
	Obamaicon.me?
	Well, it's what it says, Obamaicon.me.
	Is it Obama-icon?
	No, no.
	Well, the way it shows up here is Obamaicon.me.
	but it could, I don't know if that's, is that a domain?
	Because it shows up on the top, at the top layer of the browser as obamaiconme.pastemagazine.com.
	Oh, hold on.
	.me.pastemagazine.
	Me.
	But did you try typing in Obama?
	Yeah, I tried.
	No, no, no.
	It didn't resolve.
	It didn't resolve.
	No, this doesn't work either.
	No, but you don't have it right.
	Obama, icon, me.
	All one word.
	Yes, I got that.
	Dot paste magazine.
	Yes, dot com.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, and I get it doesn't resolve.
	Oh, something's wrong with your machine.
	Yes, oh, of course.
	Skype me the link, will you?
	Yeah.
	Oh, there's a thought.
	I keep forgetting that you can do that.
	Mr.
	Technology.
	Anyway, back to the...
	So that's the website that does it?
	Well, it's a website that does it.
	I don't know if it's the website.
	I already have it from someone on Twitter.
	I don't need your stinking link.
	Oh, somebody sent it to you?
	Yeah.
	Probably the same.
	Okay.
	It's Obamicon.
	It's not Obama icon.
	It's Obamicon.
	Ah, Obamicon.
	There you go.
	Oh, I see.
	Oh, cool.
	Okay.
	All right, man.
	This is for you and me.
	This is what we're going to do for our No Agenda album art.
	This is fantastic.
	Oh, this is great.
	I'll do it for the next t-shirt, too.
	But send me a picture of you throwing the O. Oh, yeah.
	There's an idea.
	So we'll both be throwing the O, and then we'll...
	I have to get drunk first.
	Hey, I'm coming out in a little over a week.
	We've got to plan some dinner.
	Where's the connection there?
	It's because I'm going to get you drunk.
	I'll get you hammered.
	I'll get you thrown out there.
	I'm coming out.
	You're getting drunk?
	I'm on my way.
	Hell yeah.
	Seriously, though, I'm coming out the 26th, so let's plan something for 27 and 29 or 30 or something like that.
	Not 29.
	I've got a board meeting on 29.
	30th.
	27th, 30th.
	I'm flying back to 31st so we can do the show on Sunday.
	My Skype friend says it's pronounced Michael.
	It's that simple, even though it's spelled odd.
	So...
	Anyway, back to the German measles thing.
	That reminded me of something going on in the States, at least it was last week.
	I haven't seen much of it this week.
	An outbreak all over the country, at least news stories cropping up everywhere, almost as though they were planted.
	No, rabid raccoons.
	Really?
	Yeah.
	Like, rabbit raccoons all over the place.
	But don't most raccoons carry rabies with them anyway?
	At least that's what I was always told.
	Oh, man, you don't want to get bitten by a raccoon because then you have to go get a rabies shot.
	No, not that I know.
	If they have rabies, they act weird.
	They come out during the day.
	They challenge you.
	To what?
	To a duel?
	To five-card stud?
	What are these animals doing?
	To a biting contest.
	Right.
	So what is an epidemic of...
	Hundreds.
	There was one story in one of the newspapers that says if you see a raccoon, because apparently they'll attack porcupines, with porcupines stuck all over his face and nose and body, stay away.
	That would be the clue, wouldn't it?
	Hey, he's got porcupine quills sticking out of his face.
	And then the last item I had on my list of three says new consumer product.
	I don't know.
	Did we have some kind of brilliant idea?
	I must have had something that was so, it must have been so profound.
	We should end the show but then not stop recording because we wind up in trouble that way.
	Because it sounds like we had a billion dollar idea there.
	Yeah, it was so profound that I didn't feel the need...
	To even write down what it was about.
	Yeah, because it was so profound, obviously, because I've come to the conclusion that's the way I take notes, that I've always believed that if I just write down just a general, you know, something general about it because I don't need to put the details on it because it's so profound, I never remember what it was.
	So that's a tip for you note-takers out there.
	Don't do that.
	I can't remember either.
	I really can't.
	So, okay, now your list.
	Well, let's start with fantastic water landing, nice ditch by the pilots of U.S. Airways in the Hudson River.
	That was pretty spectacular this week.
	Right.
	Of course, then they immediately sequestered the guy and gave him drug testing.
	Well, dude, he's been like, oh, he's just a quiet guy, you know, because what they're doing right now is telling him, this is the story, this is what you must repeat, this is what happened, this is how I went, there were a flock of geese, flock of geese, flock of geese.
	Which is totally possible, but I've been, you know, aviation stories interest me since I'm an aviator.
	And here's three things I want to know.
	One, I did not see any, you know, when you have these migrating flocks of birds, and geese is like the worst kind, obviously, there's a lot of warnings that go out.
	I mean, there's no TAMs, which means notice to airmen, and And, you know, anywhere you're flying, air traffic control is going to be all over this all the time.
	They'll say up to 4,000 feet, you know, you've got migrating birds, and they're real careful about it, because if you really do run into a flock of anything, almost, depending on size of aircraft, yeah, it's messed up.
	Can't find any of it.
	They say that he declared an emergency, which I'm sure he did.
	Now, I'm a member of all the ATC stream sites where you can listen to air traffic control all day, which is kind of on the same level of interest as your wrestling fascination.
	And I can't find any recording anywhere, or archive not online, stuff like that, or there is no archive.
	So I'd just like to know if the actual circumstances were there, because it was so quick.
	It's like, oh, it was a flock of geese.
	And I'm just not seeing any official reports, and there's definitely questions in the aviation world as to, okay...
	Second, when you have an airplane in this kind of trouble for six minutes, you would have expected, certainly around New York, that there would have been something scrambled or you would have read that someone was put into action, but none of that.
	And for the greenies out there, did he dump all his fuel?
	Because I presume that he took off heavy, completely loaded, had to have dumped tons of fuel into the Hudson, I guess.
	In order to keep this thing floating, because that's the only reason I can see why the airplane floated is because he had dumped his fuel.
	Well, there's two things that they did talk about.
	One is that kerosene is lighter than water, so that's not necessarily going to sink it.
	Yeah, but I think safety precautions, if you have enough time, you're instructed to dump your fuel.
	Right, and they'd have to be dumping it right over the bridge, because it went right over that bridge, which doesn't sound like a good idea.
	And also, the Air buses have a special feature Unlike the Boeing planes, where they lock up the...
	You push a button, and it locks up the cargo and all these...
	There's apparently like a bladder or something inside, and they just...
	Really?
	Yeah, you can look this one up.
	And it was like a big deal, because according to one of these...
	My wife was listening to the chat in the Seattle area, which has...
	Because the plane was eventually going to Seattle, so there was a lot of people talking on all the talk shows up there.
	Mm-hmm.
	Some pilot called in talking about this feature of the Airbus that it could seal off the bottom so if there's a water landing, the plane can continue to float because you can't bust up the bottom.
	And he was commenting that when this feature was developed...
	Everybody in the industry were laughing at it, thinking, what a stupid idea.
	Like, that's going to do any good.
	I mean, what's the point?
	And there you go.
	And so meanwhile, now they're all going, wow, that's cool.
	And so what I missed, no one came out with a life preserver on.
	No one put it on.
	I know.
	That's why I vlogged that picture, that picture that's going around.
	No one's got their life preserver on.
	And you know the placard, the card in the seat back in front of you?
	It always has the beautiful slides that are like inflated.
	None of that.
	They inflated one of those rafts.
	It overturned and then floated away.
	I mean, this...
	When it comes to the water landing itself, fantastic.
	I mean, great job.
	The plane didn't disintegrate.
	I mean, hallelujah.
	They showed on CBS, they showed some of the other attempts to make water landings.
	It's just like rarely successful.
	And they showed this one where it looked like it.
	I'm sorry.
	I'm sorry.
	I have to correct you.
	That is not true.
	Ninety percent of water ditching is very successful.
	I mean, everyone walks away or lives.
	So that's not true.
	Well, that's the way they portray it.
	Well, of course, because what they're showing, they're showing that 747, that the wingtip hits the water and it goes cartwheeler.
	Yeah, but it was hijacked.
	You know, there were like hijackers in the cockpit, and the pilot just lost control at the last moment.
	But still, this is an A-Bus 320.
	It has a much lower approach speed.
	In fact, you can fly it right up to the stall speed, so that's about 150 miles an hour, which seems fast, but for an aircraft that size, it's not.
	Uh, whereas, uh, a 747 has a much higher speed, but, um, there's actually, uh, they've released a video now.
	I don't know if you've seen it.
	It's a stationary camera on the Hudson and you see the plane just as it's hitting the water.
	Uh, that thing comes to a standstill within a plane length, you know, it's like, and the engines of course got ripped off immediately there at the bottom of the Hudson.
	So when you're doing it with an aircraft smaller, that's when your chances are larger.
	But still, it's 90%, because these statistics are known, of all water ditches are successful.
	Okay, well, that's good to know.
	Anyway, yeah, nobody came out with their life vest, which I still think is somewhat baffling.
	And the other thing is that...
	Yeah, what did cause this problem if it wasn't the birds, if there was no evidence of birds?
	Well, I just like the evidence.
	I'm okay with...
	It sounds very believable, but, you know, when there's birds, a big flock, that's a real fluke.
	You know, that's a real...
	And this time of year?
	I mean, there's just a lot of things.
	I'm like, well, I'm not looking for a conspiracy.
	I'm just saying I want to know more because I'm really interested, and it always takes months.
	It would be nice if we knew who was on board that maybe someone would like to...
	I do know there were several Bank of America executives on board, actually.
	Well, that makes sense since they were going to Charlotte, which is where Bank of America is headquartered now.
	The very same day that Bank of America received another, what was it, $20, $30 billion?
	Yeah, something.
	That's kind of suspicious.
	I like the flight tracker, flightaware.com.
	So it has departure time scheduled 3.04 p.m.
	Eastern, actual departure time 3.26, arrival time estimated 4.38, actual 3.32.
	Yeah.
	Flight time, duration of flight, six minutes.
	It's great, though.
	You see the whole dogleg, and you can see there's a point where he completely deviates from his track, and I think that's his decision point, but it doesn't have an altitude or anything.
	I'm just interested in, with all types of mishaps, you just want to know what happened because you learn from it.
	But with most mishaps, you're always hearing...
	We don't know the exact problem yet, but how come I can't hear a recording?
	This stuff is recorded, all air traffic control.
	It would be cool to hear it.
	Well, let's go back to the theory that these bankers were like a target of some sort.
	And let's say...
	And I'm not believing any of this, by the way.
	I have an article here about it.
	Hold on a second.
	Just for the purpose of argument.
	If you wanted to not kill these bankers, but you wanted to scare the crap out of them or show that you could kill them...
	This is a good one.
	You'd put them on a plane with the absolute best pilot in the world.
	Which he happens to be.
	This guy is the guy, right?
	He's a highly decorated pilot.
	He teaches how to ditch a plane.
	And so you put them on that plane and then, you know, scare the crap out of them.
	And then see what happens if they play ball.
	They may have been reluctant to...
	I mean, they already showed a little reluctance to buy the Merrill Lynch.
	I like it!
	Oh, John!
	Oh, John!
	I love it.
	Here's an article.
	Hold on a second.
	There's something about it.
	From Nation and World.
	What is that?
	Some commie rag, John?
	No, wait a minute.
	Seattle Times.
	Yeah, commie rag.
	I've just got to load it for a second.
	Well, it's loading very slowly.
	Someone must really like it.
	Oh, here we go.
	Darren Beck, doesn't say much about, oh.
	Oh.
	Thank you.
	Thank you.
	Huh.
	There was a Joe Hart, salesman with investment firm ING. Molly Shugel.
	Shugel, a Bank of America executive, came to regret her choice of three-inch heels.
	Okay.
	Maybe that's what it all does.
	You've got to get women out of these three-inch heels.
	That'll teach him.
	Damn it!
	Five inches are nothing, damn it!
	Hey, after change.gov, we now have recovery.gov.
	Oh, really?
	That's a new one.
	Yeah, it hasn't launched yet.
	But this is for the stimulus package.
	Yeah, I'm sure they're going to be taking more donations for the Obama campaign.
	Is that ever going to stop?
	When are we going to stop hearing Obama giving campaign speeches?
	Did you see the latest one he gave to his daughters in the form of an open letter?
	Yeah, in Parade Magazine, which is distributed door-to-door around the country.
	It's like 80 million people read this.
	Getting something in Parade Magazine is distribution to the masses.
	And, of course, the private letter that you're going to send to your daughters is published in Parade Magazine.
	I mean, give me a frickin' break.
	It's one thing to take your future son-in-law for his first lap dance, but this just takes it all.
	Yeah, well, you're a lightweight by comparison to this crowd.
	Really, really.
	I have so much to learn.
	Hey, man, but I read the stimulus package.
	And it's pretty interesting, John.
	There's lots of money to be made.
	Well, let's make some.
	What are we doing sitting here talking to each other?
	Well, because that's the easiest...
	Let's talk more action.
	Let's talk more do.
	But I just want...
	So this is the preamble.
	I don't know if this is intended for civilians to read or if they really think senators and congressmen are complete morons.
	Because right on the front page, since 2001, as worker productivity went up, 96% of the income growth in this country went to the wealthiest 10% of society.
	While they were benefiting from record high worker productivity, the remaining 90% of Americans were struggling to sustain their standard of living.
	They sustained it by borrowing and borrowing and borrowing.
	And when they couldn't borrow anymore, the bottom fell out.
	This plan will strengthen the middle class, not just Wall Street CEOs and special interests in Washington.
	I mean...
	Wow, it says that?
	This is a front page, baby.
	Front page.
	It's pretty bold.
	Yeah, just a couple things I just highlighted, if anything strikes you.
	So first of all, I love the fact there are no earmarks in this package.
	Well...
	Yeah, not yet.
	That's the whole point of an earmark, because it comes after this part.
	But the executive summary says, there will be a historic level of transparency, oversight, and accountability.
	It will help guarantee taxpayer dollars are spent wisely, and Americans can see results for their investments.
	That's what recovery.org is all about, so you can track who's getting what.
	And I think a lot of the big money is going to energy.
	$32 billion to transform the nation's energy transmission, distribution, and production systems by allowing for a smarter and better grid and focusing investment in renewable technology.
	What the fuck does that mean?
	Is there something wrong with the national grid?
	Is it not right?
	I don't know.
	It works for me.
	Why don't you read that again?
	So, $32 billion will go to transform the nation's energy transmission, distribution, and production systems by allowing for a smarter and better grid and focusing investment in renewable technology.
	I mean, that's just a bunch of horseshit.
	That's nothing.
	It means nothing.
	Renewable technology.
	What's renewable technology?
	Like rewritable optical discs?
	Wind power.
	No, but that's under a separate multi-billion dollar heading.
	Well, the most renewable energy that I know of is wood.
	No, no.
	Renewable technology.
	No, no.
	Renewable technology.
	Not energy.
	Technology.
	What's renewable technology?
	That doesn't make sense, that word.
	What is renewable technology?
	Get me some of that.
	That's a good question.
	I don't know what renewable technology is.
	It's rewritable optical disks.
	It's renewable.
	It's all new again.
	Flash memory.
	Flash memory.
	Okay, here's something.
	Did you know?
	Fact.
	For every dollar invested in broadband, as in broadband internet access...
	Is this in that same paper?
	Yes!
	I'm just reading verbatim, man.
	For every dollar invested in broadband, the economy sees a tenfold return on that investment.
	What?
	How do you document this?
	Most of the investment in broadband, in my regards, makes me spend more time wasting time on the nets, surfing the web.
	Well, we need to put scientists to work.
	That's not you, by the way, people.
	That's not you.
	We need to put scientists to work looking for the next great discovery, creating jobs in cutting-edge technologies and making smart investments that will help business in every community succeed in a global economy.
	For every dollar invested in broadband, the economy sees a tenfold return on that investment.
	So, John, there's ten billion...
	By the way, and it says who?
	The office of the president-elect, Bonehead.
	Now, this is an actual document from the House, okay?
	This is the actual plan that has been submitted.
	I just like the way they throw it.
	It's like people throw out these stats, these statistics, and there's no documentation to indicate.
	Well, of course not, which is why I bring it up.
	I hope I'm starting to piss you off.
	So anyway, $10 billion will be going to science, facilities, research, and instrumentation.
	Scalpels and stuff.
	And $6 billion to expand broadband internet access so business in rural and other underserved areas can link up to the global economy.
	Then there's a whole bunch of stuff about roads, bridges, transit.
	$10 billion for transit and rail to reduce traffic congestion, which seems like nothing.
	$10 billion is nothing in the train world.
	Oh, here's my favorite.
	$20 billion for health information technology, which I presume will be renewable, to prevent medical mistakes, provide better care to patients, and introduce cost-saving efficiencies.
	Now, they tried this in the United Kingdom with the National Health Service.
	And this thing is already, I think, three billion pounds over budget.
	It does not work.
	It's not implemented.
	It's an albatross for the Labor Party.
	This is like the world's largest IT project.
	This always fails.
	You get all these big contracts, and Oracle, and Microsoft, and everyone tries to work together, and they all mean well, and it's always years late, billions over budget, and by then, we're dead.
	It doesn't matter anymore.
	But I just thought, $20 billion, who's that going to?
	I don't know, but I think we have to find some way for it to go to us.
	Here it is.
	Reliable, efficient electricity grid.
	It's another one.
	$11 billion for research and development, pilot projects, and federal matching funds for smart grid investment program to modernize the electricity grid, making it more efficient, secure, and reliable, and build new power lines to transmit clean...
	Oh, God.
	And build new power lines to transmit clean, renewable energy from sources throughout the nation.
	Because we don't want no dirty power.
	We want clean power running through a clean new grid.
	I'm just amazed.
	I didn't know the grid was in trouble.
	Apparently it is.
	And $2 billion for the Advanced Battery Loan Guarantee and Grants Program to support U.S. This is great, man.
	You'll love it.
	For the Advanced Battery Loan Guarantee and Grants Program to support U.S. manufacturers of advanced vehicle batteries and battery systems.
	Because America should lead the world in transforming the way automobiles are powered.
	Well, you know, early on it was predicted that, in fact, I remember watching some talk show six months ago with some people from Detroit discussing the fact that these cars are all going to be electric.
	The whole hydrogen thing was a smoke screen.
	That's never going to happen in a million years.
	But they all paid lip service to it.
	But behind the scenes, this electric car idea was what everyone was kind of gravitating toward.
	Nobody wants to talk about the mess that...
	Yeah, but we just gave...
	The nickel mines.
	But we just gave all these...
	Yeah, and of course, what happens when the batteries are gone, right?
	But we just gave these guys billions of dollars.
	Now we're going to give another $2 billion to figure out how to do the batteries?
	I mean, they've been pulling their puds for all these years?
	Yeah, it's a giveaway.
	It's a giveaway.
	The whole thing is...
	This kills me.
	$300 million for grants and loans to state and local governments for projects that reduce diesel emissions.
	Diesel's burned so fucking clean these days.
	They're trying to get rid of diesel.
	They've been trying, yeah, I know.
	The first they started with requiring so-called low-sulfur diesel.
	And then that's what jacked up the price of diesel.
	If you go to the pumps, you looked up there during the heyday of the bullshit oil prices, and you look at there and you go, why is diesel more expensive than premium gasoline when it used to be the price of regular or cheaper?
	Yeah.
	And so then, you know, somebody, well, it's because of the diesels being, you know, has to have special, you know, low sulfur.
	I guess when I'm, you know, I could read through this whole thing and there's 600...
	I don't know why they're trying to get rid of diesel.
	It doesn't make any sense to me.
	Well, because they're clearly going for the whole electric vibe.
	You know, this is what all these guys invested in.
	You know, this is what Kleiner Perkins built their green tech fund for, for everything I'm reading here.
	Yeah.
	Everything.
	Of course, John Doerr will be at the inauguration.
	I think he's actually on stage at the inauguration.
	No.
	Oh, yeah.
	One of those side seats?
	Dude, he's way deep inside.
	Yeah, well, I know he's a big...
	He managed to get them to...
	He got a lot of money for them.
	Yeah.
	And he's trying, I know he's always been angling for a Democrat to get in so he can become an ambassador.
	I mean, he was hoping to be Secretary of State or something like that.
	Maybe he'll be the technology advisor because they're going to move that other guy to the FCC or something.
	John Doerr would be a great person for that job.
	But I also think it'll be, why don't we get him the ambassadorship in the Bahamas?
	Because, you know, then we can go visit.
	Well, let's make it someplace more interesting than that.
	Well, it's nice and warm.
	They got beaches.
	Well, where do you want it to be?
	Well, never mind.
	I'm not that interested.
	I think you should be the ambassador to France.
	Here it is.
	Wireless and broadband, $6 billion.
	You know what?
	If Dor, who we both know, becomes the ambassador to any place, he won't even give us the time of day.
	Yeah, you're right.
	You're right.
	So NASA, $600 million.
	Now we're paying for NASA that way.
	Biomedical advanced research and development.
	Pandemic flu.
	Cybersecurity.
	$900 million to prepare for a pandemic influenza.
	$900 million.
	A billion dollars to prepare for something that has killed 150 people in a decade.
	Support advanced development of medical countermeasures for chemical, biological, radiological, and nuclear threats.
	And for cybersecurity protection at Homeland Security.
	You know, what I'm seeing is, apart from about $50 billion, nothing is going into people's pockets.
	It's all going into...
	And the small business combined isn't even $800 million what they're throwing into small business.
	But all these billions is all going to big companies.
	Oh, this is my favorite.
	This is my favorite.
	Transportation Security Administration Explosive Detection Systems.
	$500 million to install aviation explosive detection systems in the nation's airports, improving security and making life easier on travelers by speeding security lines.
	Well, of course, they can only put those things in the big airports.
	And there's so many feeder airports that if you wanted to get past...
	But what is it?
	Can't you just get a fucking dog?
	Just put the dog there.
	The dogs are great at this.
	You don't need $500 million.
	Get a dog at every airport to sniff the luggage.
	That's what they do.
	Actually, the dog probably does a better job.
	That's what I'm saying.
	Dogs are fantastic at sniffing out anything, really.
	I was like, you know, every once in a while, I was in Seattle, and there was a guy with this dog, you know, wandering around.
	It's always hilarious, because the dogs look like they're having a great time.
	They love it, of course, because they're like, I've got to get me some explosives.
	Smells like bacon!
	And so they're roaming around, and I always ask the guy what kind of a dog it is.
	I say, what kind of a dog is it?
	Is that a bomb dog, a fruit dog?
	There's three kinds.
	There's a drug dog, a bomb dog, and a fruit dog.
	And a fruit dog.
	The fruit dog you can always recognize by his tutu.
	And so, anyway, and they're always like, oh, he's a bomb-sniffing dog.
	Oh, cool.
	And he's going around, he's sniffing, sniffing.
	He's not finding anything.
	Hey, something great for you in California, which you'll be very happy with.
	$850 million for hazardous fuel removal and other efforts to prevent wildfires on public lands.
	What?
	I know how to pick them.
	$850 million.
	That's almost a billion, John.
	For hazardous fuel removal and other efforts, some efforts, to prevent wildfires on public lands.
	Wait a minute, let me finish the marketing spin.
	I'm not done yet.
	Making these investments today will create jobs in the short run, but also save long-term costs of fighting fires in the future.
	Yeah, jobs.
	Weeding, it's called.
	So basically these new jobs they're creating.
	Yeah, weeding.
	Stupid labor.
	Weeding.
	Weeding.
	Okay, so it's split up between $550 million for state and local volunteer programs.
	So you volunteer, but someone's getting paid.
	Yeah.
	$550 million for hazardous fuel reduction efforts.
	You don't have to succeed, just make an effort, which states and communities have determined are of the highest priority.
	And then the Federal Forest Service wildfires, I'm sure they need a lot of money, so $300 million to them.
	So it's very comprehensive, but I do not see...
	I just do not see a lot for...
	There's some things in here that are extending Cobra.
	Well, we'll see.
	This is just the first pass of it.
	This is what's going in.
	$20 billion to provide nutrition assistance to modest income families and to lift restrictions that limit the amount of time individuals can receive food stamps.
	Well, you're going to be needing that, folks.
	You'll be very happy that's in there.
	More food stamps.
	So they're going to add $20 billion to the food stamp program.
	Yep.
	Well, they're really extending it, I think, is what they're doing.
	So it may not be hard cash outlay immediately, but they're going to extend it so you can stay on food stamps longer.
	But I urge all of our listeners to download this stimulus package.
	I think I should just groan every single time I say.
	Stimulus package.
	So you know where your money's going.
	Yeah, down the toilet.
	Did you watch any of the financial services hearings?
	No, I didn't.
	I should have.
	I had to watch that stuff, too.
	It's unfortunate I missed it all.
	There was...
	Let me see if I can find it here.
	Yeah, this is it.
	Do you know Congressman Alan Grayson?
	No.
	Have you ever heard of him?
	No.
	So, you want to listen to something for a second?
	Hear him grill?
	Yeah, let's play it.
	Okay, he grills the Federal Reserve Vice Chairman, and what he's going after is, remember we talked about this, that there's been two or three trillion dollars that was handed out to banks, but the Federal Reserve refuses to tell the public which banks.
	Right, because they don't want to tell you which banks are in trouble.
	Well, exactly.
	So, let me see if I can get this going here.
	So, here he is.
	This was earlier this week.
	And by the way, Barney Frank, who's the chairman of the Financial Services Committee.
	What a dick!
	Oh yeah, he's terrible.
	What a dick!
	There's just another example of where New Yorkers are screwed up by continuing to re-elect people like this.
	This is the guy who, they were running a prostitution ring out of his house while he was being screwed by rent boys.
	The guy does have a little bit of history of weirdness.
	Let's listen to it.
	You've mentioned several times sending your testimony the importance of transparency.
	Can you explain why that's important?
	I think the committee has talked about that several times, that it wants to see a strategy for how money's being spent and understand how it's being spent and have reporting.
	He's totally setting him up.
	You've got to listen to it.
	...back from institutions that it's being used for the purposes desired, and so in order to give assurances to Congress and American taxpayers that it's being used for appropriate purposes, we want greater transparency and accountability.
	Is it fair to say that when hundreds of billions of dollars of the taxpayers' money is being spent, the taxpayers have a right to know how?
	Yes.
	Mr.
	Cohen, how much has the balance sheet of the Federal Reserve increased since September 1?
	It's increased from around $800 billion to about $2 trillion.
	And what was that money spent on?
	That money was lent to banks, investment banks.
	It was spent on lending through the commercial paper market, and it was lent to foreign central banks that lent dollars to their banks to take pressure off the U.S. U.S. dollar market.
	So he's literally admitting that we gave money to foreign banks, which trips me out.
	So it wasn't spent, it was lent.
	Which institutions received it, and how much for each institution?
	I don't know which institutions, which specific institutions received it, but by categories of institutions, that's captured in our balance sheet that we publish each week.
	So we would like them, right?
	There's Barney Frank going, he's interrupting because this is the big point.
	So he immediately interrupts this dick.
	But I think I would, you're going to hold the hearing on this, Mr.
	Chairman, and I think I would be very, very hesitant to give the names of individual institutions.
	In fact, I think it would be a very bad idea because I think it would undermine the utility of the facilities that we're giving.
	But I think we should say more about the categories of institutions.
	Mr.
	Crone, you just said that $1.2 trillion has been lent or spent, as the case may be.
	That's $4,000 for every man, woman, and child in this country.
	Don't Americans have the right to know how you spent that money?
	Yes, they have every right to know the purposes for which we spent it, the types of spending, the types of lending that's going on, the types of collateral we're taking, and what we expect to accomplish with that.
	All right.
	Well, specifically, I'd like to know how much was given to Credit Suisse and what you got in return.
	How much was given to Citibank, what you got in return.
	If you put out $50 billion to Credit Suisse, the taxpayers need to know that.
	I'd be very concerned, Congressman, that if we publish the individual names of who was borrowing from us, no one would borrow from us.
	The purpose of borrowing is not to support individuals.
	He's going to slam it home now.
	Has that ever happened?
	Have people ever said we will not take your $100 billion because people will find out about it?
	We said we will not publish the names of the borrowers, so we'll have no test of that.
	Well, what gave you the authority to say that?
	Isn't that something that we should be deciding, not you?
	I think you gave us the responsibility in the Federal Reserve Act to oversee the stability of the financial system through our lending facilities, to be the lender of last resort, and we are trying to execute that to the best of our abilities.
	And you're saying that that entitles you to keep secret the expenditure of $1.2 trillion, $4,000, for a man, woman, and child in this country?
	I don't think we're keeping it secret.
	I think we're releasing a lot of information about it.
	It drives me crazy.
	But that's the whole thing.
	He's saying the Federal Reserve Act, which was enacted in 1913, these are private banks.
	This is not part of the government.
	They just got a contract.
	And this guy, I like this Alan Grayson.
	He's right on, man.
	He goes on.
	He smothers this guy.
	But what really pissed me off, so the number one question comes up, and we all know the question is going to be, who did you give the money to?
	And he goes on and he says, what kind of assets did you receive?
	Well, I'm not going to tell you that.
	Were they marked to market?
	Well, no, they weren't.
	Well, then why don't you just make it public so we can actually put a market value on that shit and we know what we've got.
	I mean, the guy is right on.
	And it's just...
	And then, of course, we look at the news and it's all about...
	And, of course, giving American taxpayer money to foreign banks.
	Foreign banks, man!
	How can you even just skip over that one?
	Oh, it's to save the system.
	To save the entire system.
	Yeah, the foreign banks, they like...
	So I read a fantastic quote, which you will love.
	I saved it.
	Hold on a second.
	Here it is.
	This was...
	Let me see if I have a date on it.
	It's only not long ago.
	This is a quote from the Honorable Dr.
	G. Gono.
	Who is governor of the Reserve Bank of Zimbabwe.
	And he's talking about...
	What is...
	Well, first of all, Zimbabwe just issued their first $100 trillion banknote, which now we have to go after that as well, John, because we only...
	Yeah, I've got people that are trying to get me to beat you on this one because you beat me on the $100 billion note.
	Yeah.
	But the $100 trillion is what we have to get now.
	So you're...
	Okay.
	Well, anyway...
	I'm on it.
	So, um...
	I want to get...
	I'm just going to get the quote here for a second.
	Uh...
	Okay, so what he's saying is it's interesting to see that the United States and United Kingdom's governments are going down exactly the same path we went.
	Here in Zimbabwe, we had our near-bank failures a few years ago, and we responded by providing the affected banks with the troubled bank fund, which is exactly what they're talking about now, exactly what TARP and what this new bank that they're setting up is going to be.
	For which we were heavily criticized even by some multilateral institutions who today are silent when the central banks of the UK and the USA are going the same way and doing the same thing under the very same circumstances, thereby continuing the unfortunate hypocrisy that what's good for the goose is not good for the gander.
	So there's your future, ladies and gentlemen.
	Go look at the $100 trillion note and get used to it.
	It just amazes me.
	Have you been watching CNBC at all, John?
	No.
	God, man, you really should make an effort to watch Squawk Box.
	It's probably pretty shitty because it comes on really too early for you on the West Coast.
	Yeah, I get five in the morning or something from the West Coast here.
	My God!
	I can record it, though.
	You should, because now they're just yelling at the government.
	What's the guy, Mark, the pudgy guy?
	He literally is like, he lost it maybe Tuesday or Wednesday, and he's like, I can't believe this government.
	People who can run businesses are getting screwed and they're giving billions, no, trillions of dollars to complete morons!
	He's like yelling on the show.
	It's just fascinating to watch.
	And of course, he's absolutely right.
	Shipping rates hit zero.
	Sorry?
	Shipping rates from Asia is free shipping.
	So if you order a container, free shipping.
	Where did you read this story?
	This is in the Telegraph.
	Wow.
	Charles Trek broker at Transport Trackers in Hong Kong.
	We have seen trade activity fall off a cliff.
	Asia to Europe is an unmitigated disaster.
	Well, there's a couple things.
	I was just going to say, I want you to finish, but I was coming back from San Francisco and a container ship was coming through, about half empty, with a bunch of empty stalls in it.
	They drop something off someplace before they get to Oakland.
	No, no.
	And so it was coming through and I saw that.
	And then the other day, from where I can see the train tracks way down the hill, and there was a train...
	Pulling those cargo containers.
	And I always like to look at the tracks as an economic indicator.
	Because sometimes they store cars there.
	There's all kinds of things you can pick up on.
	It goes by.
	Usually, I've seen this train before.
	It goes by every day at a certain hour.
	I mean, I don't obviously catch it every day, but I didn't see it for a few weeks.
	And it goes by.
	Probably about 40 cars with four containers each and perhaps another 50 cars empty.
	Empty, yeah.
	I mean, the supplies are just stopping.
	Well, it's shit, man.
	Honda has now extended the closure of their UK plant to April or May, I think.
	So we're stopping by.
	We've finally given up on the...
	Buying crap from China in a non-stop manner.
	This is specific.
	This report's on Korea, Taiwan, and Hong Kong.
	Not quite entirely China.
	A report from...
	Go ahead.
	I'm sorry.
	I'll just give you some more data points.
	A report by ING yesterday said shipping activity at U.S. ports has suddenly dived.
	Outbound traffic from Long Beach and Los Angeles, America's two top ports, has fallen by 18% year on year, a far more serious decline than anything seen in recent recessions.
	This is no regular cycle slowdown, but a complete collapse in foreign demand.
	So it's both ways.
	So here's what I'm thinking.
	If their shipping is free, let's buy a bunch of stuff and have it shipped over here.
	Exactly.
	It's like the early days of Amazon.
	It's like, get free shipping.
	Free shipping.
	If we had a couple of people in Hong Kong or anywhere, we could ship shit for free.
	It's just no one wants to buy our shit.
	We'll have containers full of free shipped shit.
	I think we should be buying stuff for ourselves.
	What we'll do is we'll create a buying club.
	In other words, we'll get 100 people.
	And we all want to buy some art, antiques, I don't know.
	A Korean bride.
	Put them bitches in a container.
	And load up a container with some of this.
	It doesn't even have to be full, obviously.
	No, it doesn't make any difference.
	You know what?
	We could just ship over one item in a container.
	Free.
	Oh, man.
	And the guys opened the thing up and said, what do you got here?
	I bought a pen.
	But look, it has a laser.
	And this is what we talked about weeks ago.
	It became difficult for the shippers, and you were surprised when I gave you this news, but it turns out to be pretty true.
	It became difficult for the shippers to obtain routine letters of credit at the height of the financial crisis over the autumn, causing goods to pile up at ports even though there was a willing buyer at the other end.
	So it's a double whammy.
	So, they had buyers, they couldn't ship it out, now the buyers are gone, and now they're just stuck with shit that they can't get rid of.
	Damn.
	Well, the lack of letters of credit probably did somebody a favor.
	Yes, but not for manufacturing, which of course is relatively important.
	Yeah, I've noticed.
	The net closes even tighter.
	The Germans, now by law, all internet traffic will be filtered to protect the children.
	Oh, it's always the children.
	Yes.
	Well, yeah, it's specifically the children.
	So they did the test.
	You know, there's a guy in Finland that's making a big stink.
	And so, because in Finland, they're going to protect the children with a, you know, kind of a watch list.
	And so this one guy's been researching it.
	I can't remember his name.
	I'm sure somebody else, it doesn't take much to find it.
	He finds that the watch list, the banned list, is bullshit.
	There's like one, two, three, maybe potential overseas, you know, U.S.-based child porn sites, which, you know, we should...
	Which seems relatively easy to crack down on an illegal website.
	Yeah, especially when they're on a list.
	This shit is underground.
	It's not really publicly accessible.
	It's underground.
	In fact, it's at most departments of justice.
	These are the true people who I believe are the ones that are the actual child molesters.
	Well, so anyway, so this guy finds that this list is a bunch of, like, lists, mostly as typical, political.
	It's like, you know, something about...
	Of course it's political.
	It's all political banning, but they're under the guise of child porn.
	Yeah.
	So what do you think happens to this guy?
	He gets...
	Oh, wait, wait, wait.
	Let me guess.
	Either A, he took too much Tylenol, B... His plane crashed.
	There was a robbery where he was shot in the face.
	Any of those?
	No.
	He gets investigated for being into child porn.
	Oh, of course.
	Oh, my God.
	I forgot that one.
	That's actually the first thing they do.
	You're right.
	Jesus.
	Well, so let me just say to the listeners...
	You have to understand that the reason we have to fight this type of idiocy is because once the filters are installed, then the only fight is what's on the list.
	They just ramrod that.
	They ramrodded a third runway at Heathrow yesterday, and the country went fucking berserk.
	How did they do it?
	They didn't even have a debate.
	One guy got so pissed off, he picked up the holy scepter or whatever it is.
	There's the mace, I think it's called, which lays on the table in the middle between the government and the opposition parties and the shadow party, whatever.
	And that represents all the power of government.
	That mace, that is the power given by the people.
	The guy walks over, picks it up and takes it back to his seat.
	And then he got named, which means they call out your name and your shame.
	And he's been banned for five days.
	But he was so, he said, we were promised the debate.
	We didn't even get a freaking debate.
	Hmm.
	Yeah.
	Well, I don't know what they're going to do with the extra runway anyway.
	They're not going to have enough traffic there to need it.
	I disagree.
	Okay.
	Of course, it's about the hub traffic.
	It's not about what they need now.
	It's about what they'll need in 10 years from now if they don't want to lose out to Frankfurt.
	Amsterdam is still a player, but they also have their problems.
	But Frankfurt and Munich, they're becoming the big hubs.
	And what you're going to see is that when people need to go somewhere, they no longer will stop in London.
	They're going to stop in Frankfurt.
	Okay.
	And there is a huge economic risk in that.
	And that's just aviation.
	I mean, that's just how it works.
	Right now, all they'd have to do is allow for more movements at Heathrow, and they could reduce pollution, is what I'll call it, because most planes at busy times are circling for 15 to 20 minutes above London.
	If you just allow for more movements, which is not...
	You don't need another runway for more movements.
	You can have more movements.
	You really can.
	You can do more.
	But they won't even allow that.
	And all the greenies are out, and it's a huge...
	And then celebrities are buying up pieces of land where the runway would be.
	That's a good idea, but...
	So what's the...
	How come Parrish never became a hub for all this traffic?
	I don't know.
	Never mind.
	Strikes.
	Of course.
	Yeah, bingo.
	You got it.
	I was going to say French, but that makes as much sense.
	Well, I guess that's it for this week.
	Do we have anything that we missed?
	Do you have anything else that we missed?
	Yeah, I think I got one or two more things.
	Press TV. How do you regard them as a news source?
	It's Iranian.
	Press TV? I think it's an Iranian news organization.
	Yeah.
	So you're not familiar with them?
	I may have run into it once in a while, but it's nothing I follow.
	I don't see it as a source for me.
	Well, they've got pretty extensive coverage of stuff.
	Here's something that caught my mind, my eye, sorry.
	Man arrested for Obama assassination plot.
	We didn't get that news.
	Of course not.
	A man has been...
	Well, shall I give you the details?
	Yeah, send me the link while you're at it.
	Okay, and then I won't read it.
	So our listeners can go screw themselves.
	Go find your own damn link.
	Hold on.
	I want to send you the link.
	I'm just trying to find my Skype window.
	Where the hell is it?
	It's usually on the screen.
	No, no.
	I removed the big chat window because it's a pain in the ass.
	Hold on.
	Where are you?
	Here we go.
	Let me send you that real quick.
	Okay.
	A man has been arrested for threatening to assassinate the U.S. President-elect, saying Barack Obama appointed Jews in key posts.
	The Secret Service took 42-year-old Stephen Joseph Christopher into custody in Brookhaven, Mississippi, Friday on charges of threatening to kill Obama.
	And I love what this guy says.
	It's not because I'm racist that I will kill Barack.
	It's because I can no longer allow the Jewish parasites to bully their way into making the American people submit to their evil ways.
	But I'm not racist.
	This guy's just nuts.
	Yeah.
	Obama's a puppet of the Jews?
	He snapped.
	Yeah, he did, obviously.
	And Microsoft now getting fined again by Naley Cruz.
	Oh, she's relentless, that woman.
	Going after him again for $450 million because...
	Hey, they got a pot of money, you might as well steal some of it.
	Might as well get some of it, right?
	Yeah.
	It's basically the cost of doing business in Europe.
	Now it comes with a hefty fee.
	And for the John and Adam Reading Club.
	I have not read this book, but I read a review which I kept in Financial Times.
	Maybe you've seen it, John.
	Niall Ferguson, The Great Liquidity Crisis.
	No.
	I should probably read it, though.
	Yeah, well, what he's saying is he wrote this book a while ago, I think.
	But what's happening now, and he's talking about a 94-year cycle.
	He's saying everything that is happening now is a copy of what happened between the two world wars.
	And we're doing everything exactly wrong once again.
	You better get your book out, man.
	Well, you know, I still have, yeah.
	I still have the kind of, not a...
	Not alone in the belief that there's going to be a mini-boom.
	Ah, there's the train.
	There's the 1030.
	Yeah, you can hear it.
	Can you hear it?
	Yeah, the 1030.
	The 1028.
	This is the guy who is just constantly tooting his horn.
	There's no reason for him to be honking his horn.
	That's the definition of tooting your own horn right there.
	Yeah, he's just basically...
	There used to be, a number of years ago, there used to be some idiot that did this about 2 in the morning.
	And I think enough people complained because there's actually houses down along the tracks.
	And...
	I mean, they're not right on the tracks, but I mean, they're so close that this guy honking, he must think it's just hilarious.
	I don't know where he is.
	He never showed up.
	Anyway, so...
	Well, the 30s were...
	Yeah, maybe.
	I mean, the problem is everything, if you start looking at everything, and I recommend people trying to get an understanding of how fractals work, and you either can read Mandelbrot's material, or there was a really good NOVA on this that kind of gave us some perspective.
	I have read up on fractals.
	It is really fascinating, and especially when you look at fractals, it can trip you out.
	Well, it trips you out anyway, but if you start to see things as self-iterative in some funny way, so everything is kind of always going to be a certain way, and it's going to repeat in a fractal-like pattern, which can be pretty complicated.
	By the way, I was thinking about fractals.
	It was just like a visual fractal image.
	I'm at Costco, and there's a young mother.
	Holding her young daughter in her arms and her young daughter in her arm holding a doll.
	Right.
	Oh, gosh.
	Yeah, yeah.
	I'm looking at that going fractal.
	Fractal.
	Fractal.
	That's it.
	Fractal.
	Yeah, you're right.
	All I was missing was the baby was the little doll.
	The little doll.
	The baby doll doll.
	Yeah.
	So what you're saying is that this is, well, that really the universe and life is a fractal and that we're now in the 94th year fractal of something, of another piece of fractal that came from the French Revolution fractal.
	Right, something like that.
	So it's like, well, none of it should be surprising.
	And when somebody comes up with the observation that this is just like such and such, well, yeah, everything is going to always be just like something.
	And if you really take that to the extreme and you reverse it, you've got to smoke some weed, then it really works.
	So that is a fractal of really the earth, which is a fractal of the universe, which is a fractal of God, I guess.
	It's like a fern, right?
	If you look at a fern, you'll see that the leaves of the fern are exactly the same structure as the fern itself.
	Right.
	Snowflakes are one of the better examples, too.
	But actually, this NOVA show had a very interesting thing.
	A guy decided that forests are fractals, and he could calculate the number of trees in a forest, which is valuable in determining CO2 usage in terms of the carbon credit crap.
	And so he decided that a forest was a fractal and he could determine the size and the number of trees in the forest by taking a fractal of the forest, in other words just a chunk, and then iterating it in a fractal like way.
	And then they would do this as a test on certain areas.
	And then actually go out and count the real trees just as a way of doing a census to see if this theory was correct.
	Because who needs to be counting trees, right?
	Just take a chunk.
	Millions of Obama jobs counting trees.
	And it turned out that it was.
	It turns out that forests are fractals.
	$800 million for counting trees.
	It could be.
	Anyway, so people should familiarize themselves with the basic notion of fractals.
	And you start to see things.
	You can see things a little differently.
	I think it really helps just from a philosophical perspective.
	I think it should become a catchphrase of sorts, John.
	I think that we should be calling fractals on all kinds of stuff.
	I like what you said when you're looking at the mother with the daughter, with the baby, with the doll, and you immediately say, fractal.
	You should actually, just like an invasion of the body snatch, you should go up to the mother and go, I'm telling you, when I saw it, it was so cute.
	It's like babushka dolls, you know, those Russian dolls.
	They're fractals.
	It's a fractal, exactly.
	Fractals are your friend.
	So, anyway, it's interesting.
	Eventually, Mandelbrot had some very interesting things to say, including the fact that he was laughed off the stage, basically, when he came up with his theories of fractals.
	Mm-hmm.
	What is the theory of fractals and what really is their importance?
	I can't explain the theory.
	I can kind of understand it before I can explain it.
	But it's essentially that everything is self-iterative in a way that all nature, and it really refers mostly to nature, it's self-iterative in a way that you can actually formulate a structure that is mathematically accurate.
	Because there's all these things over time that they said, look, A mountainside, you take a look at it, crumble down, say, you know, you can't, there's no math that can explain what you're looking at.
	Whereas mathematicians say you can explain everything with math.
	And fractal theory says, no, that's not true.
	You can explain that with math.
	If you use fractal math, if you look at the way fractals work, you can explain, you can actually explain these natural phenomena, things in nature, like a mountain.
	Mm-hmm.
	With this modeling that this guy's developed.
	And what we think of as fractals in the computer business is Mandelbrot's little designs that he makes where he takes one of these formulas, puts it in, and it just starts to iterate and makes this really funky-looking thing.
	Yeah, a screensaver, you mean.
	Yes, that kind of thing.
	It's a screensaver.
	This whole theory is based on a screensaver, ladies and gentlemen.
	I just want you to know that.
	And, you know, essentially, I mean, now that people are starting to think in terms of fractals, they, for example, the reason, if you don't know this, that's, you know, if you look at a cell phone, a mobile phone from a few years ago, it used to have an antenna.
	Some of them would come out.
	All the antennas now are fractal antennas, and they're inside the phone because you don't need an antenna when you have what essentially is a fractal antenna, which is a bunch of little things.
	Right.
	It's a weird one.
	Which comes down to the energy within the ether, which I'm sure is a fractal, also has these same fractal properties, and that's how maybe we're all connected or how everything starts to come together as we start to understand all that wireless shit.
	I'm going to really be saddened when the new age people get a hold of this theory and they start to come up with their crackpot analysis.
	But hold on.
	But when technologists get a hold of it and start to really understand it, it could be very exciting.
	We could get some fantastic shit out of this.
	Well, that's how we got the fractal antenna.
	Right.
	That's exciting.
	We improved text messaging.
	That is a good job.
	Wait a minute, that should be another $800 billion on the bailout, the stimulus package.
	But to come up with a good three-sentence explanation of fractals, I think it'd be valuable.
	I'm sure there's one out there.
	I don't have it.
	Well, I think you should start getting your material out.
	I mean, you already announced on Geek Brief TV that you were pretty much going to quit the technology reporting or journalism business gig and move on to finance.
	So you've got to get going, man.
	I think you're going to be great.
	And you've surrounded yourself with the right people, Andrew Horowitz, myself included.
	And you should get moving on it.
	You've got interesting viewpoints.
	I know.
	If I wasn't such a lazy bastard, I'd be halfway there by now.
	Actually, the thing's almost done.
	So let me just...
	I'll crank something out shortly.
	Don't do me a favor.
	All right.
	Don't worry about that.
	You don't have to worry about that.
	No.
	I know, dear.
	Thank you.
	Love you, too.
	Mean it.
	Okay, here's a URL for you.
	I saw this about a year ago, but it won't go away.
	It keeps coming back.
	There's two YouTube videos, and you have to look at it, John.
	This is a doctor who originally was in his...
	I've seen this a million times.
	Well, let me set it up, and then you tell me why it's fake.
	He was looking for a cure for cancer, and what he winds up doing is he found out, this is what he claims and what he's showing in the videos, that if you aim a frequency beam at salt water at a certain frequency, it ignites, and you can light and burn the salt water.
	I have to say, the videos are pretty convincing.
	Sure.
	The only thing missing is Penn Jillette.
	Well, why do you think it's not true?
	Well, I mean, it's possible that if you put a pulse of energy into anything that is like, let's say, whatever massive amount of energy, you can get a percentage of it to reflect back to you in some way, which is less than the energy you expended to begin with.
	Which means it's a useless exercise, which I suspect might be going on here.
	Okay, so what you're saying is there's so much energy that has to go into creating the frequency that you don't get enough energy back?
	Yeah.
	Saltwaterburns.com.
	Assuming that this is not a complete scam, which is what I suspect, actually.
	Really?
	I mean, saltwaterburns.com.
	This is where you lose your...
	Look, I didn't say, oh boy, I'm buying shares.
	I just said, hey man, I'm...
	Look, John, I got other things to do as well.
	I could go sit with my wife.
	We can watch EastEnders.
	We can watch the repeat of Celebrity Big Brother.
	Which reminds me...
	Which reminds me, are you going to set up that sling box from a dedicated line anytime soon with the channel controller?
	Yes.
	All I'm waiting for is Virgin to deliver.
	They still haven't.
	Yeah, that's typical Virgin.
	You know, the airline, I love the airline.
	But when it comes to the cell phone service, they're fucking donkey dicks.
	It is not the Virgin customer service because it's purchase companies.
	They bought NTL, the cable company, which everyone knows is NT Hell.
	They slapped Virgin on it.
	I must say, there are two commercial campaigns running here.
	One is for Virgin, where they have...
	What's the girl from Thelma and Louise and Kill Bill?
	Emma...
	Come on, the tall, blonde, beautiful...
	Yeah, yeah.
	What's her name?
	Uma Thurman.
	Uma Thurman.
	So she's doing commercials for Virgin, Samuel Jackson, and really stylized great commercials.
	But the one that blew me away is for the insurance company Aviva.
	And it's a new name.
	I forget.
	They're like First National Insurance, blah-de-blah, whatever their name is.
	But you're watching television, and all of a sudden you see Bruce Willis, In an action scene, and he says, well, you know, would any guy name, whatever his real name was, you know, Bruce Willanthorpe or whatever, do you think he could become an action star?
	And then you see...
	Alice Cooper, and he says, Vincent Fournier, that's not really a rock god's name.
	And then Ringo Starr, would anyone think that Ron Starkey, whatever his real name was, that he could be a huge pop star?
	And it's like, It's like eight celebrities!
	And you're watching this, you think it's like a promo for the Oscars or something.
	And it's like, sometimes a name change is important.
	First national insurance bullshit is now Aviva.
	And it's just mind-boggling.
	This must have cost millions to put this together.
	Really one of the better commercial campaigns I've seen in a long time.
	So, long story short, yeah, I'm going to get that for you.
	Once Silly Virgin shows up and installs the connection, and then I got the box down here, and I already have the sling box, and then you're going to be good to go, man, because I'll have...
	I'm trying to get the 50 megabit line.
	That'd be nice.
	Yeah, they're not sure if they can get me that because of where we are, but the 20 megabit for sure, which is not bad.
	Well, so we have a sling box in Detroit.
	We've got one in Hawaii.
	I haven't been on Hawaii yet.
	I usually use Detroit.
	Hawaii is pretty funny.
	I was watching some news show in one of the stations in Hawaii, and they have a sportscaster or a weatherman.
	I can't remember which now.
	Who is the size of a house.
	This guy, he's like a Samoan.
	He is so big, and he sits on the set, and he takes over the whole set.
	He didn't get the Al Roker memo yet.
	It's huge.
	Huge.
	I mean, this guy's unbelievable.
	It's just the weirdest thing.
	You'd only expect to see something like that in Hawaii.
	But we need somebody with a sling box in Hong Kong.
	And I'll say it really does help.
	It's really appreciated because we get more information.
	We learn more about what's going on and what's perceived as important in local markets.
	I mean, wow, what a difference with the national bullshit that's being spewed.
	It would be good to have Costa Rica, I think would be cool.
	How about Russia?
	I'll take a Russian sling box.
	I'll take an Iranian sling box.
	I'll take a Polish sling box.
	Yeah, the problem is getting stuff in English from some of these.
	But yeah.
	But that doesn't even matter.
	I mean, it doesn't really even matter.
	Just to be able to tune in at kind of primetime news time, you can see what the stories are.
	I mean, that kind of works.
	So anyway.
	So the guys that started the Slingbox company, you know, they sold the whole company to Dish Network.
	Right.
	And I just say they had their one year, they had to stick around, so now all those founders are gone, so they're going to come up probably with something else somewhere.
	Some new idea, you think?
	No, no, no.
	I thought that idea was pretty creative.
	When I first heard of it, I thought, I don't know, is that a good idea?
	But it turned out to be very workable.
	I think what they should do is they should do more of that community aspect, although I'm sure there's all kinds of legal ramifications that make it difficult.
	But this little community, which is perfect because you and I benefit, no one else does, is beautiful, man.
	And now, what's the guy from Detroit?
	I forgot his name.
	Yeah, we have it.
	Is it Detroit or Chicago?
	No, it's Detroit.
	It's across from Canada.
	Actually, I sent him an email.
	I said, thank you again, man.
	I just want you to know how much I'm enjoying this.
	He said, yeah, no problem.
	Although, you know, my brother and my brother-in-law and my sister or whatever, you know, they're moving.
	And so now they're going to be using it.
	You'll have to fight for access.
	And it's true.
	And I was like, oh, crap.
	Someone's already on it.
	I can't watch.
	Yeah, well, you know, typically people get tired of that.
	I mean, I only look at it once in a while.
	I mean, when I want to just look at some Canadian stuff.
	But I'm going to have one probably set up in Port Angeles where we get two or three Canadian stations up there plus Seattle.
	Right, and you're going to give me access to that, right?
	Yeah, and it'll be off of a fiber optic line, so it'll be, like, great.
	Hot shit.
	You could set up...
	Well, this should be able to create more accounts depending on, you know, your bandwidth.
	I guess that's where the whole legality comes in.
	You can share it, and you can't share it.
	You can only use it.
	That would be broadcasting, I guess, technically.
	Yes, again, they don't like promoting the idea because there's something amiss.
	I mean, I think it was funny that the Dish Network bought them in the first place because what they managed to do, because here's the problem I've always said.
	It's irksome to anybody out there who gets a satellite.
	Why can I buy the local stations off of the Dish Network?
	From the Bay Area where I am, or from Seattle where I am, but if I wanted to buy the Seattle stations from down here in the Bay Area, I can't do it.
	Or if I wanted to buy New York, what if I just wanted a New York local station so I could watch New York TV because I go to New York a lot?
	I can't do it.
	And you talk to them, but you can't do it because it's against the law.
	Why is it against the law?
	So they come up with...
	I mean, it makes no sense.
	And so they came up with this...
	So they bought the slingbox, which is kind of a way of circumventing the law.
	But it's just idiotic that it's against the law.
	I mean, why is it against the law for me to sit here in the San Francisco Bay Area and watch New York television if I want to?
	Well, I think you should put that to the president-elect.
	Yeah, well, he'd probably make it worse.
	He has reserved $650 million for the digital switchover for coupons.
	Yeah, I got my coupons, by the way.
	Of course you did.
	Isn't that for agent people who have no money?
	I'm sorry.
	Yes, that's you, aging people with no money.
	There you go.
	So you got your coupon.
	Lovely.
	I got my two coupons, and I'll tell you the thing about them is as soon as you get them, you go, my God, why are they wasting this much money on these things?
	You get the things that they look like the most advanced high-tech credit card you've ever seen.
	It's a credit card?
	Yeah, it's a card, a hard credit card with an embossed number, and it's got a big hologram on it.
	Oh, this stinks.
	Oh, this stinks.
	Scan that puppy for me, man.
	What the fuck is that?
	So they've got your name, and now you've got a credit card?
	No, no, your name's not on it.
	But your name probably is associated with the number somewhere.
	Well, it has to be.
	Yeah, you received it.
	And here's what's weird about it.
	If you want to get one of these boxes, the selection at the Best Buy and all the local stores sucks.
	Because if you do any research, you find you want the channel master.
	There's one or two of these down.
	You get the basic unit.
	You don't get anything good.
	You can get a good one if you go online.
	And if you go online, they ask you for the card number.
	So what do I need all the security on the card for?
	If I'm just typing it into a box, ordering it online, it makes no sense.
	They could have given us a barcode and a number, and that would have been fine.
	It would have saved a couple of bucks per person.
	I mean, these are the most expensive cards I've ever seen.
	They're gorgeous, by the way.
	Who makes them?
	I'm sure that...
	Who's doing the...
	So, oh man, what a scam.
	So someone's made these cars.
	There's a back-end system.
	Who's the back-end system?
	It's on the card.
	Do you have the card there?
	Well, I don't have the...
	No, they're downstairs.
	They're around somewhere.
	Yeah.
	But...
	You should take a look at that.
	You should take a look at that.
	I'll see if I can figure it out.
	But, I mean, I showed it on the Cranky Geeks show, and I took it to the office, and I showed people these cards.
	Nobody, of course, orders but me, because, you know, I think it's just, you know, it's basically getting some free electronic gear that might come in handy if you have an old monitor or something.
	Hey, can you put me on Cranky Geeks the 28th?
	Probably.
	Yeah, I'd like to do the show.
	If you assure us that you'll actually show up.
	Oh, please.
	If you assure me that there's actual audio on the fucking show, I'll show up.
	Just gloss over that one.
	You guys lost the audio.
	You lost the audio.
	Who did that?
	How did you lose the audio?
	Is this a Mevio production?
	You know, it's a sore point with me.
	Just answer the question.
	Is it because of Mevio production?
	Because somebody screwed up.
	At Mevio?
	Well, it has to be Mevio.
	We're producing it.
	Yes.
	Do we know the person who screwed up?
	Yeah.
	Is he fired?
	No.
	Has he been flogged?
	Can we humiliate him publicly?
	I think he should be flogged, but we will get to that later.
	Anyway, so...
	John, this is what people...
	They're so antsy now.
	They want to know.
	Just tell me what...
	I don't know who did it right now in the air.
	What happened?
	I don't know what happened.
	He apparently flipped the wrong switch because the weird thing about it was during the...
	We were streaming the thing and the sound was going out, but for some reason it wasn't being recorded.
	The video was being recorded and the sound wasn't.
	I have no idea how you can even do that.
	Jeez.
	Jeez, Louise.
	Did you freak out?
	I just felt annoyed because it was actually a pretty good show.
	So, you know, now the show will come along.
	So, yeah, you can be on the 28th.
	So, anyway, I'm dragging these cards around.
	Of course, nobody has ordered these cards, and so now everybody, of course, went online to try to get one.
	I think they're not going to be able to get one by the end of the year.
	They have an expiration date on them, too, which makes it even more dumb.
	So they sent out these expensive cards...
	With the hologram and all the security crap like you need it.
	So wait a minute.
	So they also had to put terminals at all these outlets.
	They had to have card readers.
	No, but nobody does.
	All they do is they just type in that number.
	Oh, jeez.
	That's the joke of it.
	Oh, my God.
	Anyway, I just thought it was a complete waste of government money.
	This is the taxpayers.
	They should be up in arms about this.
	They are cool looking.
	They're collectible.
	They're cool looking.
	I'm going to put them in a frame.
	I'm going to take the whole letter, I'm going to frame it and put it up as an example of government waste.
	Alright, I'll do one more.
	We've got to go, man.
	I'll do one more story for you.
	This is from New York Magazine.
	An interview with Gene Lang, who's a manager at a hedge fund.
	And...
	He says here's how he's hedging on the economy.
	Preparations in Lang's case include a storeroom in his basement in New Jersey stacked high with enough food, water, diapers, and other necessities to last his family six months, a biometric safe to hold his guns, and a 1985 ex-military Chevy K5 Blazer that runs on diesel and is currently being and a 1985 ex-military Chevy K5 Blazer that runs on diesel and is currently
	He has also entertained the idea of putting an inflatable speedboat in a storage unit on the west side so he could get off the island quickly, and is currently considering purchasing a remote farm where he could hunker down.
	If there's a financial system breakdown, it could take a year to reset the system, and in that time, what's going to happen, asked Lang.
	If New York turns into a scene out of I Am Legend, I want to be ready. .
	Yeah, these are the guys that are making our decisions in the hedge fund level.
	Isn't that amazing?
	What a nutball.
	Well, apparently there was a lot of discussion about that, about certainly investing in guns and high-speed inflatable boats at the end of 2008, and not just him, but like hedge fund managers.
	I mean, they're all probably made of the same wood, right, these guys?
	I just thought that was...
	They're all nuts.
	Yes, indeed.
	All right.
	All right, that's it.
	Yeah, I think...
	Here we go.
	I think we're done.
	No notes for next week.
	No, man, we covered everything.
	And you know what?
	I think everything went much better because I didn't open up the chat room and the phone bridge and all that shit.
	Just the stream.
	with a lot of people.
	Well, John, that was fun.
	Thank you very much.
	You're quite welcome.
	You do it as a public service, I know.
	But it's still appreciated on a personal level.
	We'll have a new t-shirt design next week.
	Can it be something with throw in the O? I'm going to do the Obamacan thing with our pictures.
	And listeners, feel free to work on that as well.
	Because I'm not too good with the Photoshop's.
	Wouldn't that be great for a t-shirt?
	I think so.
	Have the two of us Obamacond on the front?
	Could be.
	Welcome to Gitmo Nation.
	Speaking of such, and which, and of that, from Gitmo Nation East in Southwest London, I'm Adam Curry.
	And I'm John C. Dvorak here in Silicon Valley North.
	Also known as...
	I don't know what.
	Gitmo Nation West, Northwest.

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