The Matt Walsh Show - Matt Walsh Reacts To VIRAL TikToks
Aired: 2024-08-03
Duration: 07:44


=== I Can't Light Candles Anymore (05:46) ===

[00:00:00]  Mr. Walsh, men are called to do hard things.
[00:00:04]  Very hard things, in fact.
[00:00:07]  The heavy burdens that are not suited to the tender nature of women and children.
[00:00:12]  Today, you must take on the heaviest burden.
[00:00:15]  The ultimate load, if you will.
[00:00:18]  TikTok reactions.
[00:00:20]  And get ready, man.
[00:00:21]  This is not easy.
[00:00:23]  And it's not supposed to be.
[00:00:25]  Bucko.
[00:00:28]  Yeah, I mean, we might as well.
[00:00:33]  I'm not returning my shopping cart, and you can judge me all you want.
[00:00:38]  I'm not getting my groceries into my car, getting my children into the car, and then leaving them in the car to go return the cart.
[00:00:46]  So if you're going to give me a dirty look, f*** off.
[00:00:50]  This is the situation you put me in.
[00:00:51]  I have so much to say, and already I'm being cut off.
[00:00:53]  I've already said more than can exist in the YouTube Shorts program.
[00:00:59]  There's so much I can say.
[00:01:00]  I want to say so much, but I cannot say anything to this.
[00:01:03]  So, she's wrong, obviously.
[00:01:04]  Someone probably died.
[00:01:06]  [Music]
[00:01:22]  Yeah, that's someone probably died.
[00:01:26]  That's silly.
[00:01:28]  Bet someone died in that one.
[00:01:30]  [BLANK_AUDIO]
[00:01:31]  Pretty wacky.
[00:01:32]  That's some wacky hijinks.
[00:01:33]  I don't think anyone died.
[00:01:35]  But that is Nashville.
[00:01:36]  That's Nashville drivers for you.
[00:01:38]  Don't shoot!
[00:01:40]  Please!
[00:01:41]  I have a family!
[00:01:44]  Here's my wallet.
[00:01:46]  Here's my wallet.
[00:01:48]  Take my keys too.
[00:01:50]  Where's my car?
[00:01:52]  I know I parked it here.
[00:01:54]  I knew I shouldn't have bought a Kia.
[00:01:56]  I think that's pretty funny.
[00:01:57]  You know, I can't decide if it's funny or not.
[00:02:01]  But I think it is.
[00:02:01]  It is.
[00:02:02]  I rated a 5.7 out of 10 on the funny scale.
[00:02:08]  (boxes clattering)
[00:02:11]  How long is this effing video?
[00:02:36]  (gentle music)
[00:02:38]  Why does this video exist?
[00:02:39]  Why are we looking at this?
[00:02:41]  She gets winded cutting a donut.
[00:02:44]  That's how you know you have a weight problem.
[00:02:45]  When you get winded cutting a donut.
[00:02:48]  That's not a good breakfast.
[00:02:49]  That's not a breakfast.
[00:02:50]  That's just pure sugar.
[00:02:51]  You might as well just dig a literal measuring cup of sugar out of your pantry and just hand it to her.
[00:02:58]  It's a candle warmer.
[00:03:04]  Candles warm themselves.
[00:03:07]  They're literally on fire.
[00:03:08]  I'm so confused.
[00:03:11]  The light bulb warms.
[00:03:13]  We spent money on this?
[00:03:15]  To warm our candles that are literally warm?
[00:03:19]  They're hot, actually.
[00:03:21]  How do you warm what's hot?
[00:03:23]  You can't.
[00:03:24]  Show me.
[00:03:24]  It's a flame.
[00:03:25]  It's hot.
[00:03:26]  Fire extinguisher.
[00:03:27]  I bought a lamp warmer.
[00:03:29]  I meant a candle warmer.
[00:03:31]  Wait a minute.
[00:03:31]  Are we warming lamps or are we warming candles?
[00:03:34]  Are you buying wickless candles?
[00:03:37]  This can't get real.
[00:03:38]  You both do this as a joke.
[00:03:41]  I thought it was cute.
[00:03:45]  Yeah, candle warmers are stupid and gay.
[00:03:49]  And also I have one in my office.
[00:03:50]  At work.
[00:03:52]  I do.
[00:03:52]  But they made me.
[00:03:53]  They forced on me because they said it's an insurance problem to have fire.
[00:03:56]  I can't light candles anymore.
[00:04:00]  That's the world we live in, folks.
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[00:04:18]  It doesn't take much technical knowledge to hack somebody a smart 12-year-old.
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[00:04:56]  Alright, that was so fun.
[00:04:58]  Best.
[00:04:59]  What?
[00:04:59]  What did you just say?
[00:05:01]  Best.
[00:05:01]  Emily, are you in for dinner on Friday?
[00:05:05]  Please excuse the delay in my response.
[00:05:07]  Yes, I am in.
[00:05:09]  I mean, can we circle back on Jared's comment?
[00:05:12]  Can you just be normal for, like, a second?
[00:05:14]  Yeah, let me- I'll put a pin in that.
[00:05:16]  Oh my god!
[00:05:17]  I'm so exhausted.
[00:05:18]  I just feel like I'm wearing so many hats.
[00:05:19]  here just tell me now just a quick touch base five minutes we can do this
[00:05:22]  afternoon just told me now I'm so exhausted I just feel like I'm wearing
[00:05:26]  so many hats that's clever I mean if you got to make tic-tac videos it's

=== Getting Permits in Kabul (02:12) ===

[00:05:38]  not the worst one to make
[00:05:40]  It's not the worst TikTok video of all time.
[00:05:42]  It's not great.
[00:05:43]  It doesn't need to exist.
[00:05:45]  This doesn't need to exist.
[00:05:47]  Nothing we're doing does.
[00:05:49]  But it does.
[00:05:49]  does.
[00:06:08]  No way!
[00:06:13]  Yes!
[00:06:14]  Finally!
[00:06:17]  Something like this?
[00:06:26]  No way!
[00:06:31]  Um, it was funny.
[00:06:32]  Another funny one.
[00:06:34]  Relatable, even.
[00:06:35]  Relatable.
[00:06:36]  Relatable and funny.
[00:06:37]  It's the best kind of content.
[00:06:39]  It was good.
[00:06:40]  I'm not being sarcastic.
[00:06:42]  Ladies and gentlemen, we got him.
[00:06:46]  This is what it's like to backpack in Taliban-controlled Afghanistan as an American.
[00:06:50]  Day 2 of this series starts in Kabul, where we had a very mediocre hotel breakfast before going to the Ministry of Information and Culture to get our permits.
[00:06:57]  Of the very few tourists that have decided to visit Afghanistan since the Taliban takeover, a vast majority have a guide.
[00:07:03]  Unfortunately, that was out of our budget, so we just came alone.
[00:07:05]  But getting our permits was relatively straightforward thanks to a report written by a solo female traveler who spent three weeks traveling around the country.
[00:07:11]  I'll put her ad on the screen.
[00:07:12]  Permits in hand, we were now authorized to walk around the streets of Kabul freely, which was such a cool feeling.
[00:07:17]  We perused the markets, giving as much business as possible to local vendors, and spent a lot of time at the bird market, where thousands of different species of birds are on sale.
[00:07:24]  This is probably Kabul's most notable tourist attraction.
[00:07:27]  Some of our Taliban interactions before we had our permits were a little stressful, so we just had such a big weight lifted off our shoulders and were really able to enjoy the day.
[00:07:34]  Okay, I don't care about this.
[00:07:36]  I just don't care about it.
[00:07:38]  Can we do the next one?
[00:07:39]  I just don't care enough to even say anything about it.
[00:07:43]  Oh, is that it?