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Dec. 22, 2021 - The Matt Walsh Show
13:30
Remembering Woke HR Training with Matt Walsh
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As we are reflecting on this past year, and I think about what this past year was all about, and really it was all about suffering.
And that's what every year is.
That's what every day of life is suffering.
Life is suffering.
And one thing that I suffered through this past year was HR training videos that basically my producer forced me to watch.
Because again, the sadistic people in the audience and even the Sweet Baby Gang like to watch me suffer.
So we're going to go back and now we're all going to suffer through it one more time.
We're going to go back and review some of these HR videos and see if there's anything we missed in them the first time around.
Let's watch.
You know, one of the great things about working in conservative media is that I don't have to take any insufferable, horrible diversity and inclusion HR, you know, training courses at work that a lot of people have to be subjected to.
I've never been subjected to that from our HR department, but many of you have had to endure it.
So I thought that today, Maybe as an act of solidarity, because I'm such a generous person, I would endure some of this training to see what it's like, just to see how the other half lives, and perhaps to offer my own review of it, I guess, shall we say.
So, this is from a company called mTrain, which, according to the website VentureBeat.com, is, quote, a startup providing online education and guidance on human resources and compliance topics.
Among their clients are Dolby, Live Nation, Netflix, Yelp, BuzzFeed, and the New York Times.
Maybe at your own job, you've had to sit through videos like this.
Maybe if you work at one of those... If you work at one of those places, you're probably not watching my videos.
But either way, if you have had to watch these, you have my condolences.
Now, M-Train has all their videos proudly displayed on their YouTube channel, where they generously allow you to watch it for free.
So you don't even have to work at one of these places to do it.
So you're in your free time if you're wondering...
You know what you can do to be more diverse and inclusive in your personal life?
You can always go to this channel, check out their offerings.
They've got videos on, what do they got?
Workplace harassment.
They've got videos.
Those are probably good.
They've got stuff on sexism in the workplace.
They've got some HIPAA compliance videos.
We might skip those.
I don't know.
Today, we're going to skim through their managing unconscious bias playlist.
How to manage your unconscious bias, because you can't get rid of your unconscious bias.
You just got to learn to live with it and manage it, right?
So they've got many offerings in this genre.
We'll watch maybe a few of them today.
And we'll start with this.
This is a video called Examples of Unconscious Bias Pattern Matching.
So the idea here is a little confusing at first, but they show us a scenario And then you jump to the wrong conclusion about that scenario based on stereotypes because you're a worthless bigot.
And then we find out what was really happening.
Okay.
So that's basically how this, this works.
and let's take a look.
[car driving]
Hey.
Alright, let's see.
[wind]
[wind]
Um...
It's the dry cleaners down on Mission.
I need the red shirt and I'll see you later.
Okay, we'll just stop there for a second because what the hell kind of dry cleaning transaction is that?
That's what I want to know.
So I'm supposed to feel bad because I saw the two guys whispering in a corner and exchanging wads of cash on a street corner and I didn't immediately assume it was a dry cleaning thing.
You're going to blame me for that?
That's my fault?
No, I'm not unconsciously biased for not taking the dry cleaning possibility into consideration initially.
That doesn't make me biased.
I'm just a sane, rational person.
And I have lived in the world.
And I know that usually when two guys are on a street corner, whispering and exchanging money, it's not because one of them wants their shirt ironed.
But very often, sane rationality is confused with bias these days.
And the thing is, it's also, it's also, this is one of my problems with it.
It's dangerous to tell people not to make common sense assumptions.
In the world.
We do have to make assumptions about people.
And they're not always going to be flattering assumptions.
Like if you're heading into a part of town where you're going for a jog or something and you end up at a part of town where you see a lot of guys on street corners taking wads of cash from random people and then handing them unknown objects which they discreetly tuck away in their pocket, it's probably safest to turn around and head in the other direction.
Rather than assuming that this is just a part of town where everybody really likes to have their pants properly pressed.
So, um, this has gotten off to a stupid, stupid start already.
As stupid as expected, I guess.
Let's try a new video.
This one is called, um, this is called examples of microaggressions in the workplace.
All right.
So the famous microaggressions, we've all heard about them.
Now we get to see an example of them.
Let's watch this.
It looks crazy.
It looks like a mess.
I don't believe it.
Your hair always looks awesome.
I mean, how do you do it?
Do you twist it?
Do you do it yourself?
Yeah, I twist it myself.
Oh, I mean, do you mind?
Oh, Yeah, actually, I do mind.
Oh, sorry.
But I mean, if you're really curious about it, there are like tons of YouTube videos out now about natural hair, so maybe check that out?
Okay.
So that's a microaggression.
I still don't know what a microaggression is.
I just watched an example of it.
I'm not even sure who committed the microaggression.
There was a microaggression floating around there somewhere.
I'm not sure who it's emanating from.
Now, I agree that it's weird for someone to want to touch your hair.
You know, I wouldn't want someone touching it.
I don't want someone touching any part of me in the workplace.
But haven't you just made it a hell of a lot more awkward by turning it into a big deal and then telling them to consult YouTube?
So you're the one who's made this awkward.
It was already a little bit awkward.
You've just ramped the awkward up to level 10 now.
Before it was like a 3 or 4.
Now it's a 10 because of you.
Someone says, hey, can I touch your hair?
Uh, no, but there are YouTube videos for hair-touching freaks like yourself.
Might want to check some of those out.
See, it seems like the response is even weirder than the initial request.
And at any rate, how does that count as a microaggression?
The white lady was trying to pay the black lady a compliment about her hair, maybe awkwardly, but, you know, not every awkward human interaction or clumsy comment or even impolite action is a microaggression.
Sometimes it's just someone being awkward or impolite.
It happens.
It happens in the world.
In fact, nothing that happens, ever, is a microaggression.
Because that's a made-up category and it doesn't mean anything.
There are more examples with this video, so let's keep going.
How do people at work sit through this and just keep their mouth shut?
I wouldn't be able to do it.
I couldn't physically do it.
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So this has been this has been really fun not really fun actually it's been something it's been something at least I'll say that that much at least I decided that because because many of you work at places with HR departments that make you sit through sensitivity training videos I should both as a form of As an act of solidarity, but also as a form of sort of anthropological research, I decided I should subject myself to the same.
I found these videos on the YouTube channel of a company called M-Train, which provides sensitivity training material to a lot of big companies like BuzzFeed and Live Nation and I think New York Times, a bunch of companies.
They use this company to give them their sensitivity training material.
So last time we watched their videos on microaggressions in the workplace, And those were great.
Today we're going to take some time to watch some of their teaching videos on the important issue of workplace harassment.
This is an issue that's very important to me.
I am often harassed here at my job.
For example, the other day I wanted to go brew some coffee and I went to the cabinet where the coffee filters are supposed to be and there was no coffee filters.
I actually had to walk To a different cabinet to get them.
So I consider that to be, in a way, a form of harassment.
Maybe even a microaggression.
I don't know.
I'm not sure if M-Train would consider that harassment or not, but we'll find out.
So let's start here.
Here's a video.
This one is on inappropriate touching.
Sounds pretty frisky.
We'll take a look and see what we find out.
Okay, great.
So, pull the numbers from last year and plug them into the report and then distribute it before we meet with Christine tomorrow.
Okay, absolutely.
I can do that.
Last late night.
Just in time.
I need to get back to the gym.
Me too.
My back is killing me.
It's like there's a knife between my shoulders.
Have you tried a yoga roller?
Works for me.
That doesn't do any good.
There's really only one thing.
Okay, this is already heading bad places.
I see where this is setting up.
And I feel like I know where this is going.
You know, I hate to ask, but would you walk on my back?
Walk on your back?
I mean, no, I'd hurt you.
My daughter does it all the time.
Really, it's the only thing that helps.
I'd really appreciate it.
No, I can't do that.
Come on, it'll take two minutes.
It'll really help me out.
Come on.
I don't think I should do this.
Help me out.
Ah, there you go.
Ah, that's just stuff.
That's it.
Right there, right there, right there.
Okay, I have to tell you, I didn't... I thought I knew where it was going.
I didn't expect that.
That's not where I thought.
So that was a, there was a twist ending at the end there.
Kind of an M. Night Shyamalan twist ending.
So I have questions.
Number one, is this really a common problem in the American office environment?
I admit I haven't worked in, you know, I was working from home for years.
I haven't worked in an office environment that much.
I haven't seen anybody walking on anybody's back.
Here I can report, is this a common thing that comes up a lot?
Because I've never heard this in my life.
I could just be naive.
Do women often get approached by men at work asking them to walk on their backs?
What other weird requests do you get?
Like, hey, listen, hate to ask.
Would you mind hitting me in the shins with a crowbar?
Would you mind?
It would really help me out.
Thanks a lot.
I appreciate it.
I don't know.
This seems like kind of a niche grievance.
This seems way too specific.
I just imagine the brainstorming session at M-Train when they were deciding on their next harassment skit and somebody was like, oh, I know.
Let's do one where someone wants a lady to walk on their back.
Yeah, let's do that one.
Dude, you're telling on yourself a little bit.
Calm down.
This isn't very professional.
The second point, though, is why did she do it?
See, this is always a problem I have, even in some of the Me Too stories you hear about.
And, you know, this is a Me Too.
This woman, this is a Me Too right now.
We're watching a Me Too happen.
But why did you do it?
You could tell she was very uncomfortable and she's looking traumatized as she's walking on the dude's back.
Just walk out of the room.
If you're going to walk, just keep walking out of the room.
Walk over his back, out of the room, and then go tell someone and say, hey, this freak in there is laying on the ground, begging me to walk on him.
Call the police.
That I don't understand.
You know, I kind of feel like if you're a woman in the workplace, someone asks you to do that and you actually do it, then you're just as much to blame as he is.
If I'm the boss, I'd fire you both for being a bunch of weirdos.
If I walk into the room and see that, you're both gone.
I don't care that the woman has a troubled expression.
I don't know if I should be doing it.
Get out of here, you both, you freaks.
Get a motel room if you're gonna do that.
Don't do it here.
Yeah, just as abysmal as I remember.
I'm glad that we could experience that again one more time as the year comes to a close.
Really, really special moment that we were able to share together.
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