All Episodes
Previous Next
Aug. 21, 2021 - The Matt Walsh Show
11:54
Matt Walsh Reviews Woke Kid's Shows

Matt Walsh watches and reviews clips from shows (aimed at kids) that are promoting the ideas of SJWs. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

| Copy link to current segment

Time Text
You know, back in my day, growing up in the utopian Garden of Eden period known as 1990s, I did not have sexual relations with that woman.
We had kid shows, which the interesting thing about kid shows is that they were shows for kids.
That's what they were for.
And some of them were better than others.
Some were kind of weird.
Some were kind of stupid.
Some were artistic masterpieces.
Like, for example, the Nickelodeon show Salute Your Shorts, which is a 90s show that every 90s kid remembers and then is shocked to discover that every other 90s kid remembers it too.
Now, the thing about these shows is that their primary goal was to entertain, as I remember.
And that's different from the situation that we have today, where kids shows seem to consider entertainment sort of a secondary concern.
The primary goal now is to ensure that the children in the audience adopt the correct political and ideological viewpoints.
Wheel of morality, turn, turn, turn.
Tell us the lesson that we should learn.
And by correct, I mean those views that are in keeping with the mainstream beliefs of our culture, and by that, I mean incorrect.
So by correct, I mean incorrect.
We'll begin with the latest example, and maybe the worst.
This one is fresh out of the indoctrination oven.
It's the show Muppet Babies, in which Gonzo comes out as a gender-fluid cross-dresser.
Yes, really.
Let's watch.
You are?
You missed our royal ball!
We met the most amazing princess!
But they ran away, and all they left behind was this.
Everyone, there's something I need to tell you.
The princess who came to your ball tonight was me.
Whoa!
I'm Gonzorella.
But Gonzo, why didn't Vu tell us?
Because you all expected me to look a certain way.
I don't want you to be upset with me, but I don't want to do things just because that's the way they've always been done either.
I want to be me.
Oh, Gonzo, we're sorry.
It wasn't very nice of us to tell you what to wear to our ball.
You're our friend, and we love you any way you are.
Yeah, of course we do.
See, this is why it's so important to have a father in the home.
It's clear that Gonzo doesn't have a father in the home to say, hey, take that thing off.
You look stupid.
Get that thing off of you.
You know, some people will point out that kids' shows in the past have had episodes where boys dress as girls, and that's true.
But in the past, whether it was a kids' show or something for older kids or older audiences, something like Mrs. Doubtfire, a movie from the 90s, Robin Williams, in the past, this plot point was always played for laughs, right?
It was supposed to be funny.
The point was that boys look stupid in girls' clothes, and we should laugh about it.
Oh, yeah!
Well, you know what I think!
Who cares what you think?
You're a girl now!
Um, now the point is that wearing girls' clothes is great and courageous and more boys should try it.
You know, if you've raised your kids correctly and they were to watch Muppet Babies and they saw that, they would start laughing.
Like, if my boys watch Muppet Babies, which they won't, But if they did and they saw that, they would just laugh hysterically because they would say that's so silly and ridiculous, which it is.
But now it's the goal is quite the opposite of that, which is, among other things, extremely creepy.
Next, we have the show Arthur, one that I remember from my childhood as well, the show about a lovable aardvark.
I think that's what he is.
I could be wrong.
He used to be lovable.
Anyway, he's lost a bit of his charm now that he's pushing critical race theory.
Hey, Arthur.
Hey, Buster.
Did you see that video?
Yeah, I just watched it.
It was awful!
I can't believe someone would be hurt like that just because they're black.
Racism is so unfair.
No one should ever judge someone by the color of their skin.
But how could it happen here, in Elwood City, right outside the Sugar Bowl?
Buster, it happens everywhere.
I was talking to Mrs. McGrady the other day.
She said there's a really long history of black people not being treated fairly in this country.
It has to stop!
We have to do something!
Yeah!
But what can we do?
I mean, I'm eight.
I can't even fry an egg on my own.
I don't know.
Maybe Mrs. McGrady can give us some ideas.
Hold on!
Hello, boys.
I'm so glad you reached out to me.
Yes, I saw the video too.
And let me tell you, it made my blood boil.
Me too!
It also made me scared.
I mean, this happened in our neighborhood.
It is scary, Buster.
But you should know that a lot of grown-ups are fighting racism and working hard to keep us all safe.
Why does this keep happening, Mrs. McGrady?
Well, racism is like a disease.
If you don't treat it, it's just gonna get worse.
Okay, let me jump in there, Mrs. Grady, if I could.
Mrs. McGrady, whatever your name is.
Why does it keep happening?
Well, for the same reason that unicorns keep shitting on your roof.
That is, it's not happening.
Like, at all.
There have been comparatively few unjustified police shootings of anyone.
Statistically, this is undeniable from a statistical standpoint.
And almost none of them have any connection to racism.
So this is not a thing that's actually happening.
And yet the people behind Arthur want small children to imagine they live in a country where black people are being killed left and right for the color of their skin.
Just like walking down the street, they're just getting murdered by the cops.
You really think someone would do that?
Just go on the internet and tell lies?
And by the way, side note, does race even exist in the Arthur universe?
You can't just invent a holiday, Arthur.
Well, sure you can.
My family celebrates Kwanzaa, and that was invented for African Americans by Dr. Molana Karenga in 1966.
Not sure what's going on there exactly, but let's keep going.
We'll stay on the racial side of things with this from a show that I don't even know what the show is, but it's called Steven Universe.
Here it is.
All right, class.
Can anyone tell me who invented the lightbulb?
That's not entirely true.
The lightbulb could more rightfully be attributed to Louis Latimer, the black inventor behind the filament inside the bulb.
His invention made light bulbs affordable and efficient enough for the general public,
bringing electric light into households around the world.
Well, so now you know!
Wait, is that it?
Hold on.
We're not going to mention why he invented the filament?
To create a better standard of living for people who had only just been freed from slavery?
Are we going to ask why kids are apparently learning about Thomas Edison?
Thomas Edison!
Ugh.
And not learning about Louis Latimer?
These textbooks are incomplete.
There were black Roman warriors, black medieval knights, black classical musicians, black cowboys, black fighter pilots.
Where are they?
Okay.
I don't want to get into a historical debate with a cartoon, but at the same time, no, you could not attribute the light bulb to Lewis Latimer if you actually care about things like the truth and historical accuracy, you know, those little details like that.
Yes, Latimer innovated a filament for the bulb.
He didn't invent the filament, but he did come up with a better, longer lasting filament, which is great.
That doesn't equate to inventing the light bulb.
All right.
I could invent a more durable Tire or a more reliable braking system.
Well, I couldn't do that, but somebody could.
That doesn't mean that I get to claim that I invented the car, though.
And I can't invent the car because it's already been invented.
So there's that little detail.
As for the actual inventor of the light bulb, there is a debate that could be had about who exactly that was.
Edison deserves most of the credit that he gets.
Joseph Swan is an English scientist, also developed an incandescent bulb independently.
But Joseph Swan was white.
So the fact is, many of the most important inventions in modern society were given to us by white people, usually men.
Not all, but a great many.
That's not a racist statement.
That is just a fact.
It's also not something to be ashamed of, or embarrassed about, or competitive about, or angry about.
Rather than trying to steal this invention from Thomas Edison, when he's not even around to defend himself, how about saying, hey, thanks, Thomas Edison.
There are at least one good white guy that's been out.
There are many others, it turns out.
All right, so no list of woke children's shows would be complete without the Blues Clues Drag Queen episode, which maybe you've seen by now, but it's got to be on the list.
So let's all enjoy that once again.
Hey, Blue!
Look at all these families!
Hi, families!
It's time for a pride parade!
Families marching one by one.
Hurrah!
Hurrah!
Families marching one by one.
Hurrah!
Hurrah!
This family has two mommies.
They love each other so proudly.
And they all go marching in the big parade!
This, by the way, is a show for preschoolers.
Okay, like three-year-olds.
Pushing drag queens and pansexuals.
Do you know what a typical plot for Blue's Clues used to be?
♪ Sing in the big parade ♪ ♪ Come join the fun ♪
This, by the way, is a show for preschoolers.
Okay, like three-year-olds.
Pushing drag queens and pansexuals.
Do you know what a typical plot for "Blues Clues" used to be?
Steve, who was the guy, he would lose his glue stick
And he'd have to find it.
And he would ask Blue, Hey Blue, do you know where my glue stick is?
And Blue would be all coy about it.
Even though Blue knows where the damn glue stick is, he won't just tell Steve where it is.
So he starts planting all these clues around the house.
And Steve is very patient.
He's like, okay, I got to go through, I'll do the, we're going to spend 30 minutes looking for the damn glue stick.
You just tell me where it is, Blue.
But he doesn't do it.
He actually goes.
And so that would be, that's the whole episode is just, is just Steve trying to find his glue stick.
And at the end he finds it.
And that's the end of the show.
That was a kid's show.
And now we have pansexual toads and bisexual turtles singing about their favorite sexual orientation.
So a little bit of a different approach, I suppose.
Okay, one more.
We'll close with lesbian horses on My Little Pony.
Let's watch this.
You three truly have a gift for helping ponies.
Aw, thanks, Aunt Holiday.
But I'm not sure we can take credit for this one.
Of course you can.
You encouraged that cult to try new things.
And because you all believed in him, he succeeded.
I could use that kind of help.
Come on, Auntie Lofty.
You already have your cutie mark.
A lot of good it does me.
I can't decide what theme to give this quilt.
I've run out of inspiration.
How about apples?
Puppies?
Tides?
Or cotton candy?
Or ballet?
What about a Wonderbolt quilt?
See?
Leave it to you three to come up with more ideas than I've had in a year.
Now that's talent.
Oh, was that it?
Okay.
I was waiting because, well, first of all, I didn't mean to misgender the horses.
That's actually not a horse.
That's a unicorn, it would seem.
But you know how bad it's gotten?
That was the tamest thing we saw.
I was like waiting for... That was downright quaint and conservative in comparison to what you normally get from kids shows these days.
I mean, it's only a lesbian couple on My Little Pony.
The lesbian unicorns, they're not even into like BDSM or anything.
There's no subplot where one of them gets a sex change.
This is old-fashioned.
Really.
That's how bad it's gotten.
And it's just one more reason why you should turn the TV off, send your kids outside, let them go run and play, scrape their knees, bloody their noses a little bit.
▲
Export Selection