The Matt Walsh Show - Matt Walsh Takes A Personality Test
Aired: 2021-06-25
Duration: 12:37


=== Why Take a Test? (12:29) ===

[00:00:00]  People these days are fascinated by personality tests, and I've never quite understood why.
[00:00:05]  Why do you need a test to tell you who you are and what your personality is?
[00:00:11]  Don't you already know that?
[00:00:11]  You are you.
[00:00:12]  Aren't you the expert on that?
[00:00:15]  Like, for me, for example, I already know that I'm an insufferable asshole.
[00:00:19]  I don't need a test to tell me that.
[00:00:21]  All that to say, today I am going to take a personality test.
[00:00:24]  This one is the, um, how do you pronounce that?
[00:00:29]  Enneagram?
[00:00:29]  The Enneagram test!
[00:00:33]  And they have, uh, apparently there's nine personality types that you can choose from.
[00:00:37]  So, of all- Seven billion people on Earth, and you only get nine personalities.
[00:00:42]  That's it, you gotta choose one of the nine.
[00:00:44]  We will find out which of the nine I am as we go through this test that seems like it's way longer than it needs to be.
[00:00:51]  Okay.
[00:00:52]  Truity.com is where I took this test.
[00:00:55]  And so then, you get options, and you have inaccurate, neutral, or accurate.
[00:00:59]  I strive for perfection.
[00:01:01]  Well, I don't know how I can strive for something that I already have, being a perfect person, but I guess I'll say accurate.
[00:01:08]  It is important to me that other people like me.
[00:01:11]  No, I don't care what anyone thinks.
[00:01:13]  I don't think about the impression I make on people at all, and I put no effort into it whatsoever.
[00:01:19]  And the thing is, you should care a little bit what people think of you, and you should, everyone says, oh, you shouldn't care what anyone thinks of you.
[00:01:26]  No, you should care.
[00:01:27]  Like, I am what happens when you don't care at all, and you should care a little bit.
[00:01:31]  Don't be like me.
[00:01:32]  But I don't, so, inaccurate.
[00:01:34]  It's important to me to achieve great things.
[00:01:39]  See, everybody would say accurate to that, right?
[00:01:41]  Is there anyone who would say, no, you know, I don't really care about doing great things.
[00:01:45]  I'm kind of in it to do moderate to satisfactory things.
[00:01:50]  That's what I'm striving for.
[00:01:51]  Mediocrity rules!
[00:01:53]  So I'll say accurate.
[00:01:55]  I make more significant contributions than the average person.
[00:01:59]  Well, come on.
[00:02:01]  I have a podcast, so.
[00:02:05]  There's going to be a lot of people in for a rude awakening when they get to the pearly gates and God asks them, Oh, what did you do with your life?
[00:02:12]  Like you wouldn't already know.
[00:02:13]  And they say something like, Oh, I was a battlefield medic.
[00:02:17]  I served the poor.
[00:02:19]  Yeah.
[00:02:19]  But did you have a podcast?
[00:02:21]  No.
[00:02:22]  Get out.
[00:02:26]  I feel my emotions very deeply.
[00:02:28]  I have no emotions.
[00:02:30]  I am on the spectrum for sociopathy.
[00:02:34]  I have a sense that other people will never truly understand me.
[00:02:37]  See, this is why I don't like the personality tests.
[00:02:39]  These whiny, other people don't, nobody understands me.
[00:02:43]  Shut up, mom!
[00:02:44]  Go away!
[00:02:45]  You know, if you're a human being, you know what it is?
[00:02:48]  Everyone understands you and nobody does at the same time.
[00:02:50]  It's kind of like both because no one is inside your mind.
[00:02:53]  But at the same time, we're all people, and so we kind of get it, because we're all in the same boat as being people.
[00:03:00]  I object to this question.
[00:03:01]  I don't even want to answer it.
[00:03:04]  I protest on principle.
[00:03:07]  I am prepared for any disaster.
[00:03:08]  No, I have no skills at all.
[00:03:11]  If there's any kind of disaster, I'm going to be dead within probably about 45 minutes.
[00:03:19]  It's important to me to avoid pain and suffering at all times.
[00:03:22]  Life is pain.
[00:03:24]  Life is suffering.
[00:03:25]  Anyone who says differently is selling something.
[00:03:26]  You can't avoid it.
[00:03:29]  I seek out experiences that I know will make me feel happy or excited.
[00:03:32]  What?
[00:03:35]  Yes?
[00:03:36]  As opposed to what?
[00:03:37]  Of course I want experiences that make me feel happy.
[00:03:39]  It's kind of hard to find them sometimes, but what?
[00:03:42]  I see the positive in every situation.
[00:03:44]  No, I definitely don't see the positive in this situation I'm in right now.
[00:03:48]  I'm not afraid to tell someone when I think they're wrong.
[00:03:50]  That's like my favorite thing to do, actually, in the world.
[00:03:52]  That's what I do for a living, actually.
[00:03:54]  I let other people make the decisions.
[00:03:56]  No, no one can make.
[00:03:58]  I don't want anyone to.
[00:03:58]  I don't trust anyone to make any decisions.
[00:04:00]  And I also don't trust myself to make decisions.
[00:04:03]  So.
[00:04:04]  I appreciate having rules that people are expected to follow.
[00:04:08]  As a theocratic fascist, of course, my answer is accurate.
[00:04:10]  As long as I get to make the rules.
[00:04:12]  I think a lot about what will happen in the future.
[00:04:16]  Does anyone not think about what's happening in the future?
[00:04:22]  I don't fit in with ordinary people.
[00:04:24]  Everyone is going to say yes to this.
[00:04:27]  No one wants to think that they don't fit in with, like, everyone wants to think that they don't fit in, that they're not ordinary.
[00:04:31]  They're extraordinary.
[00:04:32]  I'm very important.
[00:04:33]  Every single person says accurate to this.
[00:04:35]  So in protest, I'm going to say inaccurate.
[00:04:37]  Because you know what?
[00:04:39]  I do fit in.
[00:04:40]  We're all, we all basically are the same.
[00:04:42]  There's rarely a good reason for changing how things are done.
[00:04:46]  Depends wholly on the situation.
[00:04:49]  I can't make a blanket statement.
[00:04:51]  Is it a good idea or a bad idea to change how things are done?
[00:04:55]  What things are you talking about?
[00:04:56]  And what's the change?
[00:04:58]  I'm not just gonna change how something's done for the sake of it.
[00:05:01]  I can't answer that question.
[00:05:02]  I can't answer that one either because it doesn't make any sense.
[00:05:06]  This is gonna come back as I have no person.
[00:05:07]  I'm gonna be the first person to come back with a zero.
[00:05:10]  I simply am not.
[00:05:13]  Or whatever, because I can't answer any of these questions.
[00:05:16]  I'm always trying to be a better person.
[00:05:18]  Everyone's going to say accurate to that.
[00:05:20]  Even though most people aren't, everyone's going to say that they are.
[00:05:23]  They say there's nine personality types.
[00:05:24]  I bet you there's only one, actually.
[00:05:26]  Everyone gets the same one.
[00:05:27]  Because almost everyone's going to answer all these questions the same.
[00:05:30]  The organizations I belong to would not function well without me.
[00:05:35]  I'll tell you something, this place would fall apart.
[00:05:37]  If I wasn't doing YouTube videos of myself taking personality tests about myself, this whole building would crumble.
[00:05:44]  Okay?
[00:05:45]  I always have a plan for what I would do if things go wrong.
[00:05:49]  I have a plan.
[00:05:50]  It's not always, it's probably not a good one.
[00:05:53]  Like my plan for when things go wrong is always in my head.
[00:05:56]  It always involves dropkicking someone, you know, like a karate type of thing.
[00:06:02]  That's always my plan for any situation.
[00:06:05]  I've yet to have a chance to actually do it.
[00:06:08]  But it is a plan, so I'll say accurate.
[00:06:09]  I seek excitement.
[00:06:12]  Yeah.
[00:06:13]  I have a different idea of what's exciting, probably from some people, but... Okay, these are the spicy cayenne crickets.
[00:06:19]  Let's try these out.
[00:06:20]  I am good at seeing the bright side of things when others complain.
[00:06:24]  No, I'm the one doing the complaining, so that's got to be inaccurate.
[00:06:29]  I don't hesitate to call people out when they're behaving badly.
[00:06:32]  Yeah, again, one of my favorite things to do, in fact, is that.
[00:06:38]  I go along with what other people want.
[00:06:42]  I am a diehard contrarian, so if I know it's what you want, I'm just going to do the opposite.
[00:06:49]  It's a deep, deep emotional immaturity, but it has served me well in life.
[00:06:53]  So I'm going to say inaccurate.
[00:06:55]  There is no option on this scale for this question is stupid, so I have to keep hitting neutral.
[00:07:00]  I feel like this is skewing my results.
[00:07:02]  I seek out relationships that offer me some type of protection.
[00:07:08]  What am I, a chick?
[00:07:09]  I am always aware of what can go wrong in a situation.
[00:07:13]  How many times are we going to have this same thing?
[00:07:17]  How many times do we have to teach you this lesson, old man?
[00:07:23]  I mean, accurate, I guess.
[00:07:24]  I mean, I'm aware of some of the things that can go wrong that would lead me to needing to dropkick somebody, but I like to do things as I've always done them.
[00:07:32]  I mean, if I've done them that way, then obviously I like doing them that way.
[00:07:35]  If I didn't like doing them that way, I wouldn't be doing them that way.
[00:07:37]  So if I am doing them that way, I like to do them that way, and I'd like to continue doing them that way.
[00:07:41]  If I want to stop doing them that way, it's because I don't like doing them that way anymore, so therefore I'm still doing what I want to do.
[00:07:47]  So I guess I'll say accurate.
[00:07:50]  I persist until a task is done.
[00:07:55]  I wish I could say accurate to that, and I think most people probably would say accurate, but I'm going to admit and say no, that I often will get bored and distracted by a squirrel.
[00:08:04]  Squirrel!
[00:08:05]  I spend time trying to discover and correct my faults and weaknesses.
[00:08:11]  I don't like to know about my faults and weaknesses.
[00:08:13]  I hold myself to very high standards.
[00:08:17]  I'll say accurate to that, although I just said a second ago that I'm not looking for my faults and weaknesses.
[00:08:22]  This is really schizophrenic.
[00:08:24]  If I'm honest, I feel that I'm a bit better than other people.
[00:08:27]  Well, again, as we've established, podcast host, number one.
[00:08:36]  Number two, other reasons.
[00:08:39]  I am better than you.
[00:08:41]  I am an unusual sort of person.
[00:08:45]  I'll say accurate.
[00:08:46]  This is why this is six pages long, because they have three questions, they repeat each one of them 30 times.
[00:08:51]  It's important to be prepared for any emergency.
[00:08:54]  We just did this!
[00:08:57]  Oh no, the question there was, am I prepared?
[00:08:59]  And I said no.
[00:09:01]  But is it important for me to be prepared, even though I'm not?
[00:09:05]  Yes.
[00:09:06]  I think it's important, I just don't do it.
[00:09:08]  I tend to be more optimistic than most people.
[00:09:10]  Well, obviously not.
[00:09:11]  Inaccurate.
[00:09:12]  I tell people what I think, even if it's hard to hear.
[00:09:15]  Yes, of course.
[00:09:16]  I would rather follow the group than push for what I want.
[00:09:19]  Inaccurate.
[00:09:20]  I'm just gonna, I gotta just roll through these.
[00:09:22]  This has been going on forever.
[00:09:23]  I set ambitious goals for myself.
[00:09:25]  I think we've established a million times that I do set goals.
[00:09:28]  Yes.
[00:09:29]  I'm an important member of my social group.
[00:09:32]  We did literally that same question, didn't we?
[00:09:34]  What did I say, accurate?
[00:09:35]  Who cares?
[00:09:36]  Okay, we just gotta get through this.
[00:09:38]  I make alliances with people who can help me stay safe and secure.
[00:09:41]  I mean, inaccurate, because that's not what I'm thinking about.
[00:09:45]  And what do you mean, make an alliance with a person?
[00:09:48]  What is this, Survivor?
[00:09:51]  I enjoy caring for others and their needs.
[00:09:54]  Depends on who it is.
[00:09:57]  You know, if it's my family, that's pretty much it.
[00:09:59]  That's the extent of the people that I enjoy caring for, but I'll put accurate.
[00:10:03]  I believe that things usually work out for the best.
[00:10:06]  Well, clearly they don't.
[00:10:08]  Okay, finally, we're on the last page.
[00:10:09]  Praise Jesus.
[00:10:11]  Okay.
[00:10:12]  We're just gonna run through these.
[00:10:13]  I make important contributions to my community.
[00:10:16]  Yes, podcast.
[00:10:17]  I feel I never truly belong in social groups.
[00:10:20]  Dumb question, neutral.
[00:10:22]  I want to learn as much as I can about how the world works.
[00:10:24]  Yeah, everyone does.
[00:10:26]  Trying new things keeps life interesting.
[00:10:31]  Accurate.
[00:10:31]  I'm an upbeat person.
[00:10:32]  No.
[00:10:33]  I am usually the one to take a stand when others won't.
[00:10:37]  I'll say yes.
[00:10:38]  Other people have stronger opinions than I do.
[00:10:40]  Probably not.
[00:10:42]  Sure, I'll say accurate.
[00:10:43]  Everyone has a role to play in society and a duty to do their best.
[00:10:46]  Sure, yes.
[00:10:47]  I am concerned with protecting what I have.
[00:10:50]  Yes, obviously.
[00:10:50]  I have a good sense of what my future holds.
[00:10:52]  Okay, fine.
[00:10:54]  I'm about to throw my computer across the freaking room.
[00:10:57]  I try new ways of doing things just to see if they will work.
[00:11:01]  Sure, okay, fine.
[00:11:02]  Self-improvement is a major interest of mine.
[00:11:06]  And we'll just call that a yes, because I want to get to the results.
[00:11:09]  And finally, we've completed that, and let's find out what my personality is.
[00:11:16]  Here's what we find out.
[00:11:18]  I have a 98% match with an 8.
[00:11:21]  What is an 8?
[00:11:22]  8s see themselves as strong and powerful and seek to stand up for what they believe in.
[00:11:27]  They rarely see themselves as having vulnerabilities and have the belief that they can handle pretty much anything that comes their way.
[00:11:33]  8s have easy access to their anger.
[00:11:35]  Have easy access to their anger?
[00:11:38]  What does that mean?
[00:11:42]  Is that a positive way of putting they are hotheads and they have a bad temper?
[00:11:46]  Which obviously is the case, because I've been screaming at this test the entire time.
[00:11:51]  And as a result, sometimes seen as intimidating to others.
[00:11:55]  However, aides typically see themselves as fighters standing up for what is right and protecting the weak.
[00:12:01]  But I also have a 77% match with a 1.
[00:12:05]  1s are defined by their belief that everything must be in order and by their feeling that they must always be right.
[00:12:10]  They show great commitment and determination to improve conditions that they find need improvement and they are forward in encouraging others to improve their performance too.

=== What We Learned (00:22) ===

[00:12:20]  You know what I think it is?
[00:12:23]  I am an enigma.
[00:12:25]  I am a mystery.
[00:12:27]  To myself and to the world.
[00:12:30]  I think that is what we have learned from this personality test, mainly because we have to stop this video at some point.