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Vintage Dating Advice
00:08:43
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So this should be a lot of fun, hopefully edifying for all of us.
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We talk a lot about, we do a lot of dating advice stuff.
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So I thought today we're going to take a look at a dating advice video, which originally was filmed, I think, in 1949.
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We know that these days people have no idea what to do, and that's very clear in some of the videos we've done.
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People have no idea what to do on the dating scene.
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Let's go back to 1949.
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That was back when They believed in chivalry and self-respect and etiquette.
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You know, there were no dating apps.
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There was no, uh, Tinder chat, no snap bumble.
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If you wanted a date, you had to ride your horse to the next town, a five days journey, then kill the bandits who had kidnapped her.
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That's what you had to do.
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At least in my imagination.
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Let's check out this, this, this old timey dating PSA and let's, let's get the real scoop on, uh, on dating.
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Let's see.
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[MUSIC]
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[MUSIC]
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What's that?
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[MUSIC]
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Oh yes, the ticket he told me about.
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Well, let's see what he has to say.
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Here's the latest on my broken ankle.
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Doc says I'll be alright, only I have to stay off my feet for a week or so.
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Okay, just to stop you there for a second.
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I don't mean to be rude, but why is the kid reading like it's the first time he's encountered the written word in his life?
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"Today, Junior!"
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Uh, maybe he's struggling because it's cursive.
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The biggest waste of time in school is they made us learn cursive, and then I graduated,
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and then I discovered that nobody in actual adult human life ever writes in cursive.
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They may as well have made us become fluent in, like, hieroglyphics or something.
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"One couple. That means a date."
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Okay, now wait a second.
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The High Teen Carnival? What kind of debauchery is this?
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"Alright, alright, alright. How you doing?"
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I thought we'd get something wholesome from the Night Club.
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You're gonna let your kid go on a date to a carnival full of high teens.
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And the high part is, I mean, it's kind of redundant.
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Everybody is high at a carnival.
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We already know that.
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Especially the people operating the rides.
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Like, the guy running the ride is blitzed out of his skull and you're putting your four-year-old onto this spinning metal death trap.
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You're putting your child's life in this man's hands.
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Not a smart thing to do.
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But this video is taking a scandalous turn.
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I'm already a little bit disappointed.
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I was expecting something more buttoned up than this.
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How do you choose a date?
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Whose company would you enjoy?
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Well, one thing you can consider is looks.
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Woody thought of Janice and how good-looking she was.
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Yes, he'd enjoy that.
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Except, well, it's too bad Janice always acts so superior and bored.
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She'd make a fellow feel awkward and inferior.
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Well, perhaps someone who doesn't feel superior.
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There's Betty.
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And yet, it just doesn't seem as if she'd be much fun.
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What about Ann?
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She knows how to have a good time, and how to make the fellow with her relax, have fun too.
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Yes, that's what a boy likes.
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He wants to know he's appreciated.
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Ann would be fun on a date.
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Okay, I gotta say, now I, here's what I like so far.
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I like that all the onus is being put on the women to impress the man.
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That's the way it should be.
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I like how we're ranking the different kinds of women.
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You're never going to find this kind of thing these days.
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Here's what I don't like.
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These kids are way too young to be dating in the first place.
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You shouldn't be dating until you're at least 25, 30 years old.
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At the youngest.
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Second, Anne here, who gets chosen, has the manners of a damned barn animal chomping away at the cotton candy.
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It's disgusting.
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Chewing with her mouth open.
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No decorum, no class.
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I'm shocked that these kinds of manners were considered appropriate in the 1940s.
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The correct response as a gentleman, if you're dating a lady who eats like that, is to say, excuse me, ma'am, your manner of eating repulses me.
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Leave my presence.
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This is Dating 101.
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When I was single, I had at least 12 first dates end that way.
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You know, speaking of kids in the 1940s dating, what you never want to have to say is that your home got stolen.
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Like mine did.
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My home was stolen.
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I'm holding a copy of the legal title to my home in my hand.
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This piece of paper could not be anything but.
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This is proof that it's a legal title to my home.
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And my signature on it is on it.
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It says that I sold my home, even though I didn't.
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Luckily, this is just a demo, though, from Home Title Log.
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Here's how cybercriminals get you.
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The title documents to our homes are kept online.
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A thief forges your signature on a quitclaim deed stating that you sold your home and he's the new owner.
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You never know until it's too late and you've got the late payment or eviction notices arriving.
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That's why I have Home Title Lock.
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The instant Home Title Lock detects someone tampering with my home's title and helps shut it down.
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Let's get you protected.
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Go to HomeTitleLock.com and register your address to see if you're already a victim and enter Walsh for 33 days of protection.
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That's promo code Walsh at HomeTitleLock.com.
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The 1940s are dropping the ball so far, but let's give it another shot.
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Let's watch again.
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Oh, Mom, is it all right with you if I have a date Saturday night?
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Of course, you generally go out on Saturdays.
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Hello, may I speak to Mary, please?
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But Mom, this is different.
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A date.
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Well, I haven't asked her yet, but I'd like to take Ann Davis to the high teen carnival.
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Oh, Ann's a nice girl, but a date?
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Well, you're rather young.
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Oh, Mom, give him a break.
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I think he can swing it.
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We all have to start sometime.
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Well, if you don't overdo on dating, Ed knows what I mean.
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Weekends only, and not too late.
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Thanks, Mom.
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So, what's going on here?
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Both boys are talking back, mouthing off to their mother.
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What kind of respect?
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Is this what we call respect?
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Where is the father coming in with his belt?
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Ready to fix some attitudes the old-fashioned way.
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That's what I would expect to see here.
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Speaking of father, why hasn't the father been consulted about this date at all?
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Why isn't Anne's father being consulted?
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The proper way to get a date is to bring gifts of silver and gold to the lady's father and ask for permission to court his daughter.
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If you get the okay, then the courtship will last for about four days and then you get married.
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That's the way I assumed things were done.
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Not this liberal nonsense we're seeing in the video.
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[MUSIC]
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It's a shame.
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Just a damn shame.
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Look at that.
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Hijinks, frivolity, dancing, hot dogs.
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Totally inappropriate.
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Unacceptable behavior.
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These kids should all be home engaged in vigorous study and reflection.
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Welcome to Bible study!
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We're all children of Jesus!
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Kumbaya!
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Now we see how we ended up where we are today, right?
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We see the slippery slope.
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Because first you got kids dancing at a carnival, and next thing you know, WAP is the number one song of 2020.
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It's not hard to see the trajectory.
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I have a feeling it's going to get a lot worse now.
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So that's the date.
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And now we get to the end of the night.
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And let's see what advice the 1940s can give us for how to end a date.
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How do you say goodnight?
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Perhaps... Don't leave!
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But I am.
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Or it could go this way.
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Well, so long.
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Just like that.
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After all, a girl likes to know you've had a good time.
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So let's try saying goodnight again.
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One more way.
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Well, it's getting late.
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Yes, it is.
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I'd ask you in for a bite to eat if it weren't so late.
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Let's plan to get home in time for a sandwich or something next time.
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Say, that sounds good.
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I'll call you next week.
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Walk Her To The Door
00:00:56
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Will you?
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Well...
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Thanks so much.
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I had loads of fun.
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So did I. Good night, Rudy.
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Good night, Ann.
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[MUSIC]
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No.
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No, wrong.
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See, the appropriate way to say goodnight is to walk the lady to the door,
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no later than 3 o'clock in the afternoon.
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Shake her hand and say, have a pleasant afternoon, and then turn around and walk away quickly.
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They'll smile.
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Nothing suggestive like kissing, smiling, laughing.
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I have to say that the advice here turns out to be far too progressive for my taste.
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I always thought, you know, I should have been born in the 1940s.
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I think I should have been born in the 1240s.
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Silence, foul temptress!
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I thought we'd get something wholesome here, and I apologize that we didn't.
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