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April 3, 2021 - The Matt Walsh Show
09:24
Walsh Vintage Dating Advice

Matt Walsh reviews a dating advice video from the 1940s. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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So this should be a lot of fun, hopefully edifying for all of us.
We talk a lot about, we do a lot of dating advice stuff.
So I thought today we're going to take a look at a dating advice video, which originally was filmed, I think, in 1949.
We know that these days people have no idea what to do, and that's very clear in some of the videos we've done.
People have no idea what to do on the dating scene.
Let's go back to 1949.
That was back when They believed in chivalry and self-respect and etiquette.
You know, there were no dating apps.
There was no, uh, Tinder chat, no snap bumble.
If you wanted a date, you had to ride your horse to the next town, a five days journey, then kill the bandits who had kidnapped her.
That's what you had to do.
At least in my imagination.
Let's check out this, this, this old timey dating PSA and let's, let's get the real scoop on, uh, on dating.
Let's see.
[MUSIC]
[MUSIC]
What's that?
[MUSIC]
Oh yes, the ticket he told me about.
Well, let's see what he has to say.
Here's the latest on my broken ankle.
Doc says I'll be alright, only I have to stay off my feet for a week or so.
Okay, just to stop you there for a second.
I don't mean to be rude, but why is the kid reading like it's the first time he's encountered the written word in his life?
"Today, Junior!"
Uh, maybe he's struggling because it's cursive.
The biggest waste of time in school is they made us learn cursive, and then I graduated,
and then I discovered that nobody in actual adult human life ever writes in cursive.
They may as well have made us become fluent in, like, hieroglyphics or something.
"One couple. That means a date."
Okay, now wait a second.
The High Teen Carnival? What kind of debauchery is this?
"Alright, alright, alright. How you doing?"
I thought we'd get something wholesome from the Night Club.
You're gonna let your kid go on a date to a carnival full of high teens.
And the high part is, I mean, it's kind of redundant.
Everybody is high at a carnival.
We already know that.
Especially the people operating the rides.
Like, the guy running the ride is blitzed out of his skull and you're putting your four-year-old onto this spinning metal death trap.
You're putting your child's life in this man's hands.
Not a smart thing to do.
But this video is taking a scandalous turn.
I'm already a little bit disappointed.
I was expecting something more buttoned up than this.
How do you choose a date?
Whose company would you enjoy?
Well, one thing you can consider is looks.
Woody thought of Janice and how good-looking she was.
Yes, he'd enjoy that.
Except, well, it's too bad Janice always acts so superior and bored.
She'd make a fellow feel awkward and inferior.
Well, perhaps someone who doesn't feel superior.
There's Betty.
And yet, it just doesn't seem as if she'd be much fun.
What about Ann?
She knows how to have a good time, and how to make the fellow with her relax, have fun too.
Yes, that's what a boy likes.
He wants to know he's appreciated.
Ann would be fun on a date.
Okay, I gotta say, now I, here's what I like so far.
I like that all the onus is being put on the women to impress the man.
That's the way it should be.
I like how we're ranking the different kinds of women.
You're never going to find this kind of thing these days.
Here's what I don't like.
These kids are way too young to be dating in the first place.
You shouldn't be dating until you're at least 25, 30 years old.
At the youngest.
Second, Anne here, who gets chosen, has the manners of a damned barn animal chomping away at the cotton candy.
It's disgusting.
Chewing with her mouth open.
No decorum, no class.
I'm shocked that these kinds of manners were considered appropriate in the 1940s.
The correct response as a gentleman, if you're dating a lady who eats like that, is to say, excuse me, ma'am, your manner of eating repulses me.
Leave my presence.
This is Dating 101.
When I was single, I had at least 12 first dates end that way.
You know, speaking of kids in the 1940s dating, what you never want to have to say is that your home got stolen.
Like mine did.
My home was stolen.
I'm holding a copy of the legal title to my home in my hand.
This piece of paper could not be anything but.
This is proof that it's a legal title to my home.
And my signature on it is on it.
It says that I sold my home, even though I didn't.
Luckily, this is just a demo, though, from Home Title Log.
Here's how cybercriminals get you.
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A thief forges your signature on a quitclaim deed stating that you sold your home and he's the new owner.
You never know until it's too late and you've got the late payment or eviction notices arriving.
That's why I have Home Title Lock.
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Let's get you protected.
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That's promo code Walsh at HomeTitleLock.com.
The 1940s are dropping the ball so far, but let's give it another shot.
Let's watch again.
Oh, Mom, is it all right with you if I have a date Saturday night?
Of course, you generally go out on Saturdays.
Hello, may I speak to Mary, please?
But Mom, this is different.
A date.
Well, I haven't asked her yet, but I'd like to take Ann Davis to the high teen carnival.
Oh, Ann's a nice girl, but a date?
Well, you're rather young.
Oh, Mom, give him a break.
I think he can swing it.
We all have to start sometime.
Well, if you don't overdo on dating, Ed knows what I mean.
Weekends only, and not too late.
Thanks, Mom.
So, what's going on here?
Both boys are talking back, mouthing off to their mother.
What kind of respect?
Is this what we call respect?
Where is the father coming in with his belt?
Ready to fix some attitudes the old-fashioned way.
That's what I would expect to see here.
Speaking of father, why hasn't the father been consulted about this date at all?
Why isn't Anne's father being consulted?
The proper way to get a date is to bring gifts of silver and gold to the lady's father and ask for permission to court his daughter.
If you get the okay, then the courtship will last for about four days and then you get married.
That's the way I assumed things were done.
Not this liberal nonsense we're seeing in the video.
[MUSIC]
It's a shame.
Just a damn shame.
Look at that.
Hijinks, frivolity, dancing, hot dogs.
Totally inappropriate.
Unacceptable behavior.
These kids should all be home engaged in vigorous study and reflection.
Welcome to Bible study!
We're all children of Jesus!
Kumbaya!
Now we see how we ended up where we are today, right?
We see the slippery slope.
Because first you got kids dancing at a carnival, and next thing you know, WAP is the number one song of 2020.
It's not hard to see the trajectory.
I have a feeling it's going to get a lot worse now.
So that's the date.
And now we get to the end of the night.
And let's see what advice the 1940s can give us for how to end a date.
How do you say goodnight?
Perhaps... Don't leave!
But I am.
Or it could go this way.
Well, so long.
Just like that.
After all, a girl likes to know you've had a good time.
So let's try saying goodnight again.
One more way.
Well, it's getting late.
Yes, it is.
I'd ask you in for a bite to eat if it weren't so late.
Let's plan to get home in time for a sandwich or something next time.
Say, that sounds good.
I'll call you next week.
Will you?
Well...
Thanks so much.
I had loads of fun.
So did I. Good night, Rudy.
Good night, Ann.
[MUSIC]
No.
No, wrong.
See, the appropriate way to say goodnight is to walk the lady to the door,
no later than 3 o'clock in the afternoon.
Shake her hand and say, have a pleasant afternoon, and then turn around and walk away quickly.
They'll smile.
Nothing suggestive like kissing, smiling, laughing.
I have to say that the advice here turns out to be far too progressive for my taste.
I always thought, you know, I should have been born in the 1940s.
I think I should have been born in the 1240s.
Silence, foul temptress!
I thought we'd get something wholesome here, and I apologize that we didn't.
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