Nancy Pelosi invokes her Catholicism again, saying her "heart full of love" and her Catholic faith prevent her from hating the president. Everything about this claim is bogus. Also, Joe Biden calls a potential voter fat. It's his best sales pitch of the campaign so far. And CBS wants to save boys from "toxic masculinity." I think they need to be saved from people who preach about toxic masculinity.
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Well, you know, Nancy Pelosi, good old Nancy Pelosi, she's a Catholic, and she takes her faith very, very seriously.
Or she would like us to believe that she does.
And yesterday, she was asked at a press conference whether she wants to impeach President Trump because she hates him, if that's really her motivation.
And she was very offended by the question.
Here was her answer.
Nothing to do with that.
I think it's an important point.
I think the president is a coward when it comes to helping our kids who are afraid of gun violence.
I think he is cruel when he doesn't deal with the I think he's in denial about the climate crisis.
However, that's about the election.
This is about the election.
Take it up in the election.
This is about the Constitution of the United States and the facts that lead to the President's violation of his oath of office.
And as a Catholic, I resent your using the word hate in a sentence that addresses me.
I don't hate anyone.
I was raised in a way that is a heart full of love and always prayed for the president.
And I still pray for the president.
I pray for the president all the time.
So don't mess with me when it comes to words like that.
First of all, her hand motions are very distracting because they appear to be disconnected from what she's actually saying.
And it sort of freaks me out.
It's just, the president is a coward who doesn't care about dreamers and he's trying to kill the planet and he puts ketchup on his steak.
It just, it doesn't make sense.
There should be some connect between, but more to the point.
She says that she's a, as a Catholic, she doesn't hate anyone.
And in fact, she has a heart full of love.
Nancy Pelosi has a heart full of love, no hate for anyone.
Maybe that's true, actually, because the millions of children whose execution she supports and helps fund and facilitate, the unborn children, well, she doesn't hate them.
It's true she doesn't hate them, she just has a total disregard for them.
So that's what she means.
She means, I don't hate anybody, I just have a wanton disregard for their well-being.
Okay, then.
Well, thanks for clearing that up.
Now, of course, Pelosi Invoking her alleged Catholicism is farcical.
She's not a Catholic.
And I can say that.
How do I know that?
Well, because being a Catholic means a certain thing.
Just like being a Jew or being a Muslim.
One of the things that it means, if you say you're a Catholic, is that you believe in the authority of the Catholic Church.
There's no such thing as a, well, I'm a Catholic, but the Catholic Church doesn't know what it's talking about, type of Catholic.
Now, there are a lot of people who claim to be that kind of Catholic, but that can't really exist.
That's like saying you're a Cowboys fan, but you hate the Cowboys and you love the Redskins.
Well, then you're not a Cowboys.
By definition, then you're not a Cowboys fan.
You can't be a Catholic while denying the authority of the Church on moral matters, which isn't to say that a Catholic has to agree with every opinion or every word that comes out of the Pope's mouth, thank God.
No, that's not what it means.
What I'm talking about are the doctrines of the Church, which the Pope cannot just change on a whim, and no Pope ever has, even the current one.
So, Nancy Pelosi thinks that the Church is wrong about abortion, not to mention issues like marriage and sexuality, sexual morality.
In order for the Church to be wrong about those issues, it would have to be just a human institution and nothing more, entirely fallible, entirely capable of being wrong about even basic moral truths.
And I'm sure that is how every non-Catholic sees the Church, but if you are a Catholic, then you can't see the Church that way.
It doesn't make any sense to see the Church that way.
By definition.
This is one of the reasons why it also doesn't make sense when we talk about bishops and priests withholding communion from pro-abortion politicians who come to their churches, which is something that happens sometimes.
It should happen a lot more than it does.
But it doesn't make sense when people say that they disagree with withholding communion.
And I hear this.
I hear this from Catholics.
I hear it from non-Catholics.
Saying, well, I don't think they should do that.
Disagree?
The doctrine of the Catholic Church Is that Christ is really present in the Eucharist.
Real presence.
So, it's not symbolic.
He's really present there in a mystical, supernatural way.
And so, as the teaching goes, if you're in a state of mortal sin, you can't receive it.
You have to go to confession first, get things right, and then you can go.
Again, if you're not a Catholic, and you disagree with the metaphysical claims about the Eucharist, then, you know, I understand that.
I would expect you to disagree.
If you agreed with it, I would expect you to be a Catholic.
But to disagree specifically with the rules surrounding who can receive it, that doesn't make any sense.
If the Church is right about the Eucharist, then it stands to reason that it's right about the parameters around which you can receive the Eucharist.
If the Church is wrong about the Eucharist, or if you think the Church is wrong about the Eucharist, then there's no reason to be Catholic and you shouldn't care what rules there are and who can receive and who can't.
Religions, the point is, religions are not your personal little playthings that you can do what you want with.
They're not like a clump of Play-Doh in your hand that you can mold into whatever shape you want it to be.
There is no such thing as a Muslim who rejects all the teachings of Islam.
There is no such thing as a Mormon who thinks the Book of Mormon is bogus.
There cannot be, in the same way, any such thing as a Catholic who thinks the church has no idea what it's talking about on an issue like abortion.
The central moral issues of our time.
But that's Pelosi's position.
It must be.
It has to be.
Given her radical, consistent, unyielding support for abortion and the abortion industry.
So Pelosi is a fraud.
Not to mention a facilitator of and apologist for the mass murder of children.
Just so we're clear about that.
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By the way, this moment from Biden, well, there's a lot you could probably say about it, but if you can't laugh about it, if you can't see the humor in it, then I don't know what to do with you.
There's just something wrong with you.
So, here's what happened.
If you haven't seen the footage, here's what happened when a voter at a town hall talking to Biden tried to challenge Biden on Ukraine and also on his age, about whether or not he's able to do the job.
And this is how Biden reacted to the question.
I'm a damn liar, man.
That's not true.
And no one has ever said that?
No one has ever done that?
No?
You see it on the TV?
No, I know you do.
And by the way, that's why I'm not sedentary.
I get up and... No, let him go.
Let him go.
Look, the reason I'm running is because I've been around a long time and I've known more than most people know.
And I can get things done.
That's why I'm running.
And you want to check my shape?
Let's do push-ups together, man.
Let's run.
Let's do whatever you want to do.
Number two.
No one has said my son has done anything wrong and I did not on any occasion.
And no one has ever said it.
Not once.
I didn't say you were doing anything wrong.
You said I set up my son to work in an oil company.
Isn't that what you said?
Get your words straight, Jack.
You don't hear that in MSNBC.
You did not hear that at all.
But you heard it.
Look, okay, I'm not going to get in an argument with you, man.
Well, yeah, you do.
But look, look, here's the deal.
Here's the deal.
Look, look, here's the deal.
Here's the deal.
You know what it's like. You don't have to go back home and talk to him.
Awww.
Let him talk. Let him talk.
Any other questions?
Listen, Jack.
Listen up, bub.
You fat dummy.
I could run laps around you.
Do you even lift, bro?
That's gonna be Biden's new campaign slogan.
Vote for me, you dumb, fat bastards.
And I have to say, that's not a bad sales pitch.
It really isn't.
That's the best sales pitch that the Biden campaign has come up with yet.
I'll give him that.
Now, Biden's campaign is trying to claim, you heard there, You heard it, he called the guy fat.
He said, look fat.
And I think he was going for fat ass.
I assume that's where he was headed with that.
And then he stopped himself.
But Biden's campaign, they're trying to say that, no, he didn't say, he didn't say fat.
He said facts.
Wasn't fat, facts.
So he was saying, look facts.
Which of course makes no sense, but let's go back and listen again to that particular part.
And we'll see, did he say fat or did he say facts?
Listen again.
But look, Fat, look, here's the deal.
But look, Fat, look, here's the deal.
Yeah, he definitely said fat. That's definitely called him fat, 100%. Remember also, earlier he
accused him of being sedentary. So there was a theme emerging here. He accused him of being
sedentary, challenged him to a pushup contest, and then appeared to say fat. And he did say fat.
And I'll tell you one thing, Joe Biden would never talk to Corn Pop that way.
I guarantee you that.
My favorite thing though is just, this is my favorite thing now in politics, is Joe Biden insulting people like it's the 1940s.
Listen, Jack, quit being a wise guy.
Cut the malarkey.
Why, I've got half a mind to give you a knuckle sandwich.
My only hope, this is my dream, my hope, Uh, that eventually at a town hall before this thing is over, we will get Joe Biden calling a female voter or potential voter a dame.
That's my, that's my dream.
I just want to hear him referring to a female as a dame.
I think, I think we'll get it.
Okay.
A, um, moving on, you know, there's a recent article from CBS news, uh, based on a soon to be released CBS documentary.
And the article slash documentary asks the question, asks the question, is there a better way to raise boys to avoid toxic masculinity?
That's the question.
And the article details the trials and tribulations of parents who are wanting to protect their sons from the horrors of traditional masculinity.
So one example given in the article I'll read this to you.
It says, Roberto and Tenieza Santiago are parents to their three children, one of whom is a boy who expresses himself by occasionally wearing a dress or painting his nails.
Roberto remembers a moment when his son wore a ponytail to school.
I said, hey bud, I want you to know I love your hair.
I think it's so cool, but kids at school might not understand and they might say something about it.
And he got this look.
He was just crestfallen, just done.
He took it out and he wouldn't wear it, Roberto says.
For me, it was one of those things as a parent where I'm like, I'm cool with this, but the world is not going to be okay with this.
So what do I do?
How do I protect him?
That crushed his spirit that day, even though I thought I was trying to help him.
We've got the founder of a group called A Call to Men explaining that boys should not be taught to, quote, embody certain ideals.
Says, this is the founder saying, we have coined a term called the man box.
And that's a short form for the collective socialization of men that we've all been taught on some level.
Not asking for help, always feeling like we have to be in control, dominating and having power over others, not expressing any emotion except for anger.
All of those things are rigid notions of manhood, feeling like we have to be in control, that we have to control things.
Those are all things that are rigid, and that they don't bend.
And meanwhile, the article quotes a 2017 study, revealing some findings that the author of the article says are disturbing.
Says out of 1,328 men between the ages of 18 and 30 surveyed in the US, 72% said they've been told that, quote, a real man behaves a certain way.
The survey also found 59% agree with the statement that guys should act strong even if they feel scared or nervous inside.
And 40% agree that men should figure out their personal problems on their own without asking others for help.
More disturbingly, 23% of the respondents agreed that men should use violence to get respect if necessary.
And then it goes on with more, there's a psychologist named Dr. Michael Reichert, says that, confirms that these attitudes are very bad and very harmful.
He says, it's not the experience of emotions that's different between males and females, it's the expression of emotions.
Expressions of emotions follow what we call feeling rules.
Those feeling rules are culture.
We tell girls, don't be angry, be a lady.
We tell boys, don't be scared, don't be vulnerable, don't cry, don't be weak, be strong, be stoic, keep it inside.
That is profoundly damaging of how we actually keep our minds present.
So, the main thrust of this is that boys in our culture are broken, And it is our outdated and, quote, disturbing notions of traditional masculinity that broke them.
Now, I would say this is all wrong, and I'll explain why it's wrong in just a moment.
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That's brickhousewalsh.com, promo code WALSH. So back to this
article.
The people interviewed for the article, along with the author herself, are perpetuating the very problem that they say that they want to solve.
Because the real toxic thing here is not masculinity, it is the attitude and approach that you see demonstrated and embodied in this article and the people interviewed.
Traditional masculinity is not the problem here.
The problem here is the effort to tear down and dismantle traditional masculinity.
So, a few points about this.
Number one.
If you're trying to help boys out, and you're worried about the state of boys in our culture, and I agree there is reason to be worried about that, if you look at the statistics, men and boys struggle in many areas in ways that girls don't.
If you look at everything from drug abuse to homelessness, prison, dropouts, suicides, all of that.
Men are vastly over-represented in all those statistics.
So if you want to do something about that, you're on the wrong foot already if you're beginning by talking about toxic masculinity.
Because If you're talking about toxic masculinity, it seems like it could be referring to one of two things.
Number one, you could be referring to traditionally masculine traits that we've now decided are toxic, or you could be referring to actually harmful traits that you associate with men and say, therefore, are representations of toxic masculinity.
Now, if you're using it in the first sense, If you're saying that traditionally masculine, naturally masculine traits are toxic, then that's obviously degrading and damaging to men, especially boys, because you're telling them that their natural masculine dispositions are somehow disordered.
We'll get back to that in a minute.
But in the second sense, this is a problem too, because it unfairly blames masculinity for bullying and narcissistic behavior that has nothing specifically to do with masculinity.
And if you don't understand why men might take an issue with that, and might not like that approach, just imagine how almost any woman would feel if I said that gossipy, materialistic bimbos suffer from toxic femininity.
That would be, at the very least, an unnecessarily inflammatory way of addressing a problem, and there's no reason to bring femininity into it.
If I've got an issue with materialistic bimbos, there's no reason to start talking about femininity.
It's got nothing to do with it.
But worse than that, it would suggest that femininity taken to a toxic extreme results in materialistic bimbos.
So it would seem to say that, well, it's okay to be a woman, but don't be too womanly because then you're going to end up like that.
Now, of course, Nobody ever does talk about toxic femininity.
That's just not a phrase anybody uses.
And in fact, I googled it, just to see, I googled toxic femininity, just to see if there is anybody using the phrase.
And for the most part, it's just, it's not, it's what you would expect.
It's just, it doesn't come up as much.
But one of the first Google results, if you go to and you Google toxic femininity, One of the first results is an article in, I think, Psychology Today or something, explaining what toxic femininity is.
And according to this article, toxic femininity is just internalized misogyny.
So actually, toxic femininity is the fault of men also.
Toxic femininity, in other words, is another version of toxic masculinity.
So if the term is ever used, it's going to be used in that way, in a way that somehow it blames men.
It's never going to be used in the same way that toxic masculinity is used in reference to men.
So that's a problem.
Nobody ever... And so all you have to do is think, well, how would it seem?
How would I feel?
If somebody did start using the phrase toxic femininity in the same way that they say toxic masculinity, everybody would just, would feel that it's insulting and demeaning towards women.
And it would be.
But if it's insulting and demeaning towards women, then it's not hard to see how toxic masculinity is insulting and demeaning towards men.
Second point is that they get into, and this is something we hear a lot about, well you don't, We don't want to tell boys that men act a certain way, or this is what a real man does.
No, actually, we do want to tell boys that.
That's a very positive and good message.
There's nothing wrong with telling them to be strong, or encouraging them to exercise control over their emotions.
Obviously, these messages can be delivered in the wrong way.
But the fundamental point is good and important.
The problem in our culture isn't that boys are being thrown into a man box or forced to conform to some strict notion of masculinity.
The problem is exactly the opposite.
For so many boys, they're given no instruction on how to be a man, no example to follow, no guidance on how to grow and mature in their masculinity, So the folks over at A Call to Men talking about the man box and how we have these rigid notions of masculinity, these people are, just like many people when they talk about masculinity, it's like they're living in the 1940s, just like Joe Biden.
They haven't noticed that the era of the strong and stoic man ended a long time ago.
It's not like that anymore.
We're now living in the era of drag queens and feminism and gender fluidity and fatherless homes.
Most boys these days have no clue how to be a man, no idea what to do with their masculine energy, because nobody has ever told them.
Nobody has ever showed them.
The fact of the matter is this.
Most boys are born with a propensity to, quote, behave a certain way.
That's not an invention.
We didn't come up with that.
There's a reason why nearly every civilization in human history, across the world, across time, has come to remarkably similar conclusions about the sorts of things that men are supposed to do.
They didn't arbitrarily and coincidentally invent the same social construct for men.
No, what they did is they noticed certain things about men.
They noticed that men are naturally aggressive.
And so they said, well, men should be warriors.
They noticed that men are stronger than women, so they said, well, men should be the protectors.
They noticed that men have a greater desire and instinct to leave their homes and go out into the wild, and so they said men should be hunters and providers.
They noticed that boys have lots of physical energy, so they came up with sports for boys to play.
The point is that societies, until very recently, did not invent masculinity.
They harnessed it.
They said, this is what masculinity is.
This is what men do.
This is how they act.
This is how they're inclined to act.
And so let's find useful, healthy ways for them to challenge or to channel rather that masculine energy.
And the same thing was done with women and femininity.
But nowadays we insist, despite all evidence to the contrary, that boys are not naturally inclined to act any particular way.
Or worse, we say that their natural inclinations are toxic.
So this results, in the best case scenario, it results with boys who are not given any roadmap to follow, not given any direction, not told at all how to be a man, And in the worst case scenario, it results, in many cases, with parents, teachers, politicians, etc., who set out to directly and intentionally break a boy's spirit and cure him of his masculinity as if it's cancer.
This is done with psychiatric drugs, it's done with hormone pills, it's done with brainwashing sessions, with drag queens at the library, any number of equally insidious ways.
Just think about the school system as a microcosm, as an example of this.
If boys are disproportionately struggling in school, and they are, boys get worse grades, boys get punished more often, they drop out more often.
But, we look at that.
Boys are having a tough time in school, okay.
Is it because the school system is trying to put boys in a rigid box of masculinity?
Is that what's happening?
You think that's what's happening in the average public school?
That their notions of masculinity are too narrow and traditional?
No, of course not.
If boys are put in any box at school, it's a box for girls.
That's the problem.
The school system requires students to sit for long periods of time, remain calm, memorize information, etc.
These are all things that girls are very good at naturally.
The problem for boys is that they're not so good at those things naturally, but they're forced to do it anyway.
So, it's not that they're forced to be masculine, it's that they're not allowed to be masculine.
Think also about the way that... of the rules and the way things are punished.
So, boys with, again, that aggression, that physical energy, that strength, They're more likely, if they have a disagreement, if they don't like somebody, if they have a fight, they're more likely to punch each other in the face.
That's what boys are more likely to do.
Whereas girls are more inclined to cut each other down verbally, spread rumors, that kind of thing.
Now, I think we all know this, any of us who went to school as kids, the verbal attacks, the rumors that are spread about you, if you're an adult now, in your 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, And you still sometimes think about a form of bullying that happened to you when you were a kid.
If you still feel somewhat affected by it, it's probably not the time that you got punched in the mouth.
You probably don't think about that at all.
It's going to be the verbal, the way you were cut down verbally, the rumors.
That stuff has a lasting impact.
That stuff is in so many ways way worse than physical fights.
You've got kids in school now who are developing lifelong complexes.
Things are happening that they're going to be in therapy for the next 30 years because of it.
And it's not because they got punched in the mouth.
It's because of the verbal stuff, the psychological stuff, the emotional stuff.
Yet, You know, if boys get mad at each other and they punch each other in the face, they can get expelled.
It could have effects on their whole, it could ruin their life.
You get expelled when you're 12 years old.
That could set you on a course, maybe not ruin, but not your likely life is over, but it's going to set you on, it's going to profoundly change the course of your life to be expelled, let's say, at the age of 12.
So yeah, boys, boys, you know, sort of expressing their Their anger in that way, they could be expelled.
Meanwhile, girls expressing their anger in ways that are far more damaging, what do they get?
Stern talking to?
Maybe detention?
If that, probably nothing in most cases?
So, I would say that if there's any rigid gender construct being forced on boys and men, it is a feminine one.
After all, we are the first civilization in human history that has attempted to literally turn boys into girls.
So when I say we're trying to turn boys into girls, we are literally trying to do that.
Not just trying, we think we've done it.
There are a lot of people in this culture who think that not only can you try, but you can really do that.
So if we really want to help boys, we need to accept them for who they are.
This is one thing, this is, our culture is supposed to be all about this, self-acceptance, right?
How many marketing campaigns, how many self-help books have been written about this?
Well, we need to accept boys for who they are, as boys, and help them grow in that identity, not grow past it or beyond it, or grow in that identity.
You're a boy, you're masculine, that's good, that's wonderful, That's good for you.
It's good for society.
It'll be good for your family one day.
But here is how you channel that.
This is the direction you go with it.
That's the message we need to have for boys.
In my opinion.
Okay, finally, I have to mention this before we get to emails.
South Korea Has a new menu item at their Papa John's locations.
It's called the American Pizza, and here it is.
Take a look at this.
Yes, that's a pizza with hot dogs on every slice.
I have to say, as an American, I find this to be an offensive degradation of my culture.
Also, secondarily, I'll take two slices, please.
Thank you.
I think, actually, the bigger issue, when you look at it, is the cheese on this pizza.
It looks like Cheez Whiz or something.
Not mozzarella.
Now, it's not a complaint, okay?
But I'm just trying to figure it out.
And honestly, some people are offended by this pizza.
If you could put pineapple, if you could put fruit on a pizza, then there's nothing wrong with hot dogs.
So, lay off the South Koreans on this one.
Alright, you know, leftists have taken over the culture in Hollywood and academia, even online.
It's dangerous because they want to shut down open debate.
Well, In theaters this Friday.
Actually, that would be today, right?
Yeah.
In theaters today, starring Adam Carolla and Dennis Prager, No Safe Spaces is finally being released.
Adam and Dennis take you on a wild ride to show you the effects of political correctness, identity politics, cancel culture.
The film takes you through the impact on college campuses, big tech, Hollywood.
No Safe Spaces argues that free speech is important in society.
And more than that, it shows you how it's being threatened, And more importantly than that, it shows you what we can do to fight back against those threats.
It's not your typical documentary.
It has animation, recreations, plenty of Adam Carolla signature humor as well.
No Space Spaces takes you behind the scenes on Ben Shapiro's riot-filled trip to UC Berkeley.
The God-King of the Daily Wire has a cameo.
I'm even in the movie for a split second, so you could watch it just for that reason alone.
If you can spot me in the movie, then I'll send Prager to your house to wash your car, which I feel like is something that needs more explanation, but I'm not going to give you more explanation.
No Safe Spaces, rated PG-13, in theaters Friday, December 6th.
Go to nosafespaces.com slash walsh for ticket information and theater locations.
Okay, we'll go to emails now.
Matt Walshow at gmail.com.
Matt Walshow at gmail.com.
This is from Brandon, says, Hi Matt, maybe you already covered it, but what did you think of Tim Ryan's comments about Lamar Jackson?
Uh, yeah, Brandon, I didn't, I didn't actually cover it.
For anyone who didn't hear about this, a 49ers radio announcer got suspended from his job after he said a few days ago that one of the reasons The Niners struggled against Lamar Jackson last week is that they couldn't see the ball on play action because the ball blended in with his jersey, which was black and also his dark skin color.
That's what Tim Ryan said.
And by the way, I was reading an article in the San Francisco Chronicle about this and it identified Ryan as the Niners color analyst.
And you cannot convince me that that was not supposed to be some kind of pun.
But what do I think about what he said?
Well, it's stupid, obviously.
I mean, you might as well say that white players have an advantage because the baseball blends in with their pasty white skin.
It doesn't make any sense.
So it's a dumb comment.
And it's one that, as a broadcaster in the year 2019, you have to know.
You have to know that it's going to spark a significant backlash.
You gotta know.
Come on.
It's not something that I would at all defend, because it's dumb, it's inaccurate, clearly, and it's just, as a professional broadcaster, you gotta know better than that.
Now, does this make Tim Ryan a racist?
Well, I don't know anything about Tim Ryan.
Know nothing about him whatsoever.
Richard Sherman, the cornerback now for the San Francisco 49ers, he was interviewed about this, and he said he wasn't that offended by the comment.
He knows Tim Ryan and knows that he's not a racist, so I'll defer to Richard Sherman on that.
This particular comment, does it make him a racist?
No, of course it doesn't.
It's stupid.
You could say it's racially insensitive.
If you want to find the most negative possible interpretation of it, you could say that he was trying to diminish Lamar's accomplishments by crediting his skin color rather than his skill.
That would be the most unflattering possible way to translate what he said.
And even that, and I'm not really sure that that's what he actually set out to do, but even that wouldn't be racist.
Okay?
Being a racist means that you think a particular race is inferior to you.
To your race.
So, the fact that Tim Ryan said that the ball blends in with Lamar Jackson's skin, does that mean that he's saying that Lamar is inferior to him?
No.
That's a hell of a stretch.
I think we have to be able, sometimes, to say, look, somebody said something dumb about race without automatically concluding that it makes them a racist.
It is possible to say stupid stuff about race and racial issues without being a racist automatically.
So I think Tim Ryan, yeah, he was suspended.
Um, and, and of course that, that, you know, the 49 are suspended.
Of course they're going to.
And from their perspective, it's like, you're, you're, you work for us.
This is not, we don't hire you to bring in this kind of attention to us.
So you're going to be, but I don't think he should be fired for it.
I don't think his life should be destroyed.
I think, unfortunately, maybe it will be because that's the culture we live in.
But you suspend him for a game, you made your point, and he gets back to it, and we move on.
It's really not a big deal at the end of the day.
Okay.
From Joshua says, Dear Matt, I'm a 20 year old named Joshua who enjoys listening to your wise and witty musings from the comfort of convict land, elsewhere known as Australia.
However, I must protest your cultural ignorance.
Australia is a lazy country founded by criminals.
That we speak the English language at all is an accomplishment.
It is common practice here to shorten words such as Australian, tracksuit, breakfast, and McDonald's to Aussie, trackies, brekkie, and Maccas, respectively.
McDonald's is Maccas?
Now, in this country, you'll hear people say Mickey D's.
Which, I don't like that, but it makes... it sounds a lot... makes more sense than Maccas.
I ask forgiveness and compassion for the oddities of Australian slang and apologize deeply for any that has seeped into the United States.
Yeah, Joshua, I got several emails from folks in Australia defending brekkie on the basis that it's some kind of cultural thing.
I must say that I do not accept your apology.
It is no excuse.
You guys don't have the right to just hang out over there, on the bottom of the world, abbreviating whatever words you want.
Okay?
Like, you think nobody notices.
You think, oh, we're in Australia, no one's... No.
This is a society, dammit.
There are rules.
Words have... You can't just attach an I-E or a Y to any word you want.
Who do you people think you are?
Where do you get off doing this?
So, your ancestors were convicts.
What, you think that gives you a pass to continue acting like barbarians?
We all had ancestors who at one point peed in pots in their bedrooms and then dumped the contents of the pot into the street.
They would just open the window and dump the pot out into the street.
Doesn't matter if there's anyone walking below, doesn't matter.
Watch out, here it comes.
Well, you know what I do?
I use a toilet.
Okay, because just because my ancestors did that doesn't mean that I'm gonna do it.
Because I'm civilized, dammit.
So you must stop this, Australia.
You must stop it right now.
I demand.
It is not okay.
It doesn't even... It doesn't even make sense because breck... Okay, breck-y.
That's two syllables.
Breck-y.
Breck-y.
Breck-fist.
It's also two syllables.
You're not even saving any time!
What's the point?
That's another thing, as, you know, you add this to the list of rules, but as dictator, I will of course ban attaching i.e.
or y to the end of words where it doesn't belong, but in general, abbreviating a word where the abbreviation is just as long as the original word, or even in some cases longer, that's not going to be allowed.
Alright, we'll go to Ross.
Says, Dear Future Theocratic Dictator, Under your regime, what will be the standard breakfast sandwich?
To me, it should be two eggs, broken yolk, but not scrambled, and a cast iron pan with bacon or sausage patty, and a slice of sharp cheddar cheese.
Bread should be honey wheat, toasted, of course, with mayonnaise or butter.
I'll admit the mayonnaise seems strange at first, but I tried it under the advice from my sister and now it's a staple of my breakfast sandwich.
Please let me know so I can plan accordingly for a swift death or a hope that everyone will enjoy the best breakfast every single morning.
Love the show.
Well, Ross, you were on the right path until you got to the bread and condiment choice and the whole thing just went off the rails and hundreds of people died in the wreckage.
Let me clarify this, the correct breakfast sandwich, not breakfast sandwich, not brekkie sandwich, or I guess as they would say in Australia, brekkie sammie.
Is that what you guys say?
I bet it is what you say.
Yeah, can I have a brekkie sammie?
No, the correct breakfast sandwich would be two eggs, sunny side up, sausage, I'm sorry, but bacon is an inferior choice for a breakfast sandwich.
And then as you say, sharp cheddar cheese.
American cheese is a disgrace.
Anathema.
And then you're going to either use regular white bread, or if you want to get fancy, you can use rye.
Honey wheat bread is for children.
Grow up.
You should be embarrassed.
And then you're going to use butter.
You're going to butter both sides.
You're going to throw the bread onto the pan for a quick toast, or into the broiler for a quick toast.
Okay, it's not a full-on toast.
You want the bread to still have some give to it.
But really this is about, you stiffen the bread a little bit, and it's also about making sure the butter is melted.
And you put some salt and pepper on that, and you're just going to enjoy it.
That's it.
You don't need to add anything.
No mayonnaise.
God forbid you put ketchup on it.
Look, if you want to put some hot sauce on the thing, I'm not going to stop you.
I think it's unnecessary, but if you want to, that will be acceptable.
Nothing else needs to be added to it.
But thank you for that question.
These are the kinds of issues that I like to address on this show.
And I think we'll leave it there on a Friday.
Hope you guys have a great weekend.
Go Ravens, of course.
And Godspeed.
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The Matt Wall Show is produced by Sean Hampton, Executive Producer Jeremy Boring, Senior Producer Jonathan Hay, Supervising Producer Mathis Glover, Supervising Producer Robert Sterling, Technical Producer Austin Stevens, Editor Donovan Fowler, Audio Mixer Mike Coromina.
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