The Michael Knowles Show - "I Shouldn't Laugh At This" Michael Knowles REACT To Horrible TikToks
Aired: 2025-12-30
Duration: 08:28


=== Slop and Laughter (06:54) ===

[00:00:02]  It's a slot, but it's funny.
[00:00:03]  You are broke, Susan.
[00:00:05]  It's like criminal assault.
[00:00:07]  The black guy thing, it could have been, it was like a little...
[00:00:10]  Is there another one or no?
[00:00:11]  No.
[00:00:11]  Okay, it's TEE Tuesday.
[00:00:15]  Who's playing?
[00:00:16]  It's your boy, Professor Jacobs, Mysterious Michaela May, and the Kremnip Crib.
[00:00:20]  Okay, take it away.
[00:00:23]  And man, you have gotta test out this new pool table.
[00:00:27]  Yeah, you are going down.
[00:00:30]  Where's the black ball?
[00:00:33]  Uh, fuck.
[00:00:34]  It is a pool table.
[00:00:36]  It'll probably draft.
[00:00:44]  Ready?
[00:00:58]  It's a slop, but it's funny.
[00:01:01]  You know, women have a hard time choosing where to eat, because the last time they did, they doomed all of humanity.
[00:01:12]  So, where did you train, linguine?
[00:01:15]  Train?
[00:01:24]  Uh...
[00:01:25]  I hate that one so much.
[00:01:27]  Is there another one or no?
[00:01:28]  No.
[00:01:28]  No.
[00:01:29]  I would say it's between the black, the pool ball, and you know what?
[00:01:38]  I always I don't give it to the AI slop a lot.
[00:01:41]  Let's give it to the AI slop.
[00:01:43]  The fat guy making the crater.
[00:01:45]  Who do you think it was?
[00:01:47]  It was Edgy Boy.
[00:01:52]  Edgy Boy.
[00:01:54]  Yeah, it was good. It was good.
[00:02:17]  The first version of that was funnier with the didgeridoo.
[00:02:19]  That one is trying to go home again.
[00:02:21]  You can't.
[00:02:35]  It's never just allergies.
[00:02:38]  Nothing beats a chit-chit holiday.
[00:02:40]  And right now, you can save 50 pounds per person.
[00:02:44]  That's 200 pounds off for a family of four.
[00:02:49]  we've got millions of free child players with 22 kids it's like criminal assault dude my dna test just came in look at this you're 1% african yes i'm black bro you're not black okay it says one percent you guys ready to order i'll take the fried chicken collard greens and a hennis whoa why did you order that and change your inflection i am so sorry sorry i would have ordered the same thing spoken like a few brothers
[00:03:22]  What was that?
[00:03:22]  You white folks wouldn't understand.
[00:03:24]  It's a black thing.
[00:03:25]  You're not black.
[00:03:27]  When you listen to gangster rap oh, we get pulled over.
[00:03:30]  Stop talking like that.
[00:03:30]  I know this is hard for you to understand because you're not a black man like me, but I need you to follow all of the officers instructions.
[00:03:35]  You're white because registration, yeah, African American, but he's not African American.
[00:03:40]  Vehicle white brother resistant he's not resisting.
[00:03:46]  I said stop, oh my god.
[00:03:48]  And he's back to harmed African American chackades Broken out across the country as another innocent black man has been gunned down by a white cop, the victim, 26-year-old African-American Michael Johnson.
[00:04:00]  He's not black!
[00:04:03]  It was too long, and the premise that like cops shoot innocent black men is completely false.
[00:04:09]  But that's pretty funny.
[00:04:12]  What was the one before that?
[00:04:13]  I just want to keep it in my head.
[00:04:15]  The foot assault thing.
[00:04:17]  Oh, that was funny too.
[00:04:18]  I don't, you know, the black guy thing, it could have been, it was like a little too much making a meal out of a cupcake.
[00:04:25]  You have a sandwich and you don't get frosting up your nose.
[00:04:32]  So I'm going to give it to the just pure slapstick, the guy with the tar paper on his face.
[00:04:39]  That was funny.
[00:04:40]  What do you think it was?
[00:04:41]  I think it was Professor Jacob.
[00:04:42]  That was Professor Jacob.
[00:04:44]  It was.
[00:04:44]  Yeah, I could tell.
[00:04:45]  Yeah.
[00:04:45]  I could tell that.
[00:04:46]  Very simple.
[00:04:47]  It's very simple.
[00:04:48]  We're childish.
[00:04:49]  It was funny.
[00:04:50]  Okay, next one.
[00:04:56]  Falling, look at the monitor and give the full name of this person.
[00:05:07]  Adult Hitler.
[00:05:09]  That's actor Jason Statham.
[00:05:16]  What is what?
[00:05:17]  I think you're doing a great job.
[00:05:19]  We got Susan from Little Rock, Arkansas.
[00:05:21]  How are you doing, Susan?
[00:05:22]  Hi, Mr. Ramsey.
[00:05:23]  I'm good.
[00:05:23]  How are you?
[00:05:24]  Better than I deserve.
[00:05:25]  What's up?
[00:05:26]  So we have $10,000 in student loan debts.
[00:05:28]  Good gosh.
[00:05:29]  It's not every day we talk to a neurosurgeon.
[00:05:32]  I assume that's what you have to be to have that kind of debt, Susan.
[00:05:34]  No, I am a teacher and my husband's a comedian.
[00:05:37]  So we're just our question today is: should we do a daycare that costs $15,000 a year?
[00:05:42]  No!
[00:05:43]  You're broke!
[00:05:44]  You are broke, Susan.
[00:05:46]  You are poor.
[00:05:47]  Poor.
[00:05:47]  Everyone, out of the studio.
[00:05:49]  Poor!
[00:05:52]  Beans and rye, Susan!
[00:05:54]  Mr. Ramsey, can we still go on our anniversary trip?
[00:05:57]  We paid for it in points!
[00:05:58]  Points!
[00:05:59]  I got a few points for you, Susan.
[00:06:00]  Point one, you're stupid.
[00:06:03]  Point two, see point one.
[00:06:05]  Point three.
[00:06:06]  I'm about to hang up on your broke.
[00:06:08]  And what I do, throw away your phone, burn it, throw it in the backyard where your kids are tied up because you're taking a poor daycare.
[00:06:14]  Broke, bro, We got another caller, Jason from San Francisco.
[00:06:22]  How you doing, David?
[00:06:23]  Okay, don't be mad, but I want to buy a townhouse and I have $9 million in debt.
[00:06:27]  Oh, gosh, Joe, jump off the Golden Gate Bridge.
[00:06:30]  Poor.
[00:06:31]  Yeah, it went on too long.
[00:06:33]  It was funny.
[00:06:34]  It was close, but it just went on too long.
[00:06:36]  Hold on one second.
[00:06:37]  Go to Jeremy'sRazors.com.
[00:06:39]  The best deals of the year are live right now.
[00:06:40]  Jeremy's Razors, you can score up to 50% off.

=== Built for Men Who Don't Back Down (01:47) ===

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[00:06:54]  These razors are built for men who don't back down.
[00:06:56]  Guys who show up, work hard, and refuse to cave to the nonsense.
[00:06:59]  Go to jeremysrazors.com right now.
[00:07:01]  Deals expire soon.
[00:07:03]  Do not wait.
[00:07:03]  jeremy'srazors.com Oh, just white people.
[00:07:24]  Yeah, it took me a minute.
[00:07:44]  That's my mirror.
[00:07:45]  What are you doing?
[00:07:51]  Yeah, it's kind of funny That's all of them.
[00:07:56]  It was a weaker round, though.
[00:07:58]  I was trying to sweet Elise about that.
[00:07:59]  Like, I wanted the AI to fix our Christmas card picture, and it just can't.
[00:08:04]  It just doesn't know how.
[00:08:05]  It's not taking our jobs.
[00:08:06]  So, I guess what were the first two?
[00:08:09]  Jason Statum is Hitler, and then Dave Ramsey in Pressure.
[00:08:12]  I'll go for Hitler.
[00:08:13]  I got Hitler.
[00:08:14]  There's nothing very cool about Hitler.
[00:08:16]  It was simple.
[00:08:17]  It was like fast.
[00:08:17]  It was simple.
[00:08:18]  It was kind of funny.
[00:08:19]  What do you think it was?
[00:08:20]  That was Michaela Mann.
[00:08:21]  You're right.
[00:08:21]  Oh, man.
[00:08:23]  We did terrible, but you were dead on today.
[00:08:25]  You like that?
[00:08:26]  Okay.
[00:08:26]  I'm Michael Knowles.
[00:08:27]  This is the Michael Knowles show.